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The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, July 28, 1866, Image 1

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Persistent link: https://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83032011/1866-07-28/ed-1/seq-1/

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AN INDEPENDENT'' JOURNAL,
i cnunii-u kveiiy tuTCnDAV, ih
nioomrtiurff, Ceiu'mljlri Coulitf) l'rt.
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llmh Mih-wilicTit Insertion Imtluin thlileen.
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Threo " " 6 )
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Half column " , 10 no
One eiiliiinii " 15 10
K.xeeiltor's nnd Administrator' Notices fl (10
Auditor's Notices SW
IMIIorlnl Notices twenty lents per line.
Oilier iidvertlsemcnts instiled according to spe
rial conlruct.
Two poltars n yenr, lit fMvntfcb". it ifot paid til I
uJvniujf, Two Dollnrn mill Fifty Collin.
Addrem 11 letters to
rii.'oiion it. jiootin.
Editor of the C'oi.umiiia!),
llloonubiirft, Columbia County, IVw
VOL. I.-NO. 13.
BLOOMSBURG, SATURDAY, JULY 28, 1SG0
MICE FIVE CENTS.
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THE OLD STORY.
Come nit by rac, ICnty, nnd tell mo
Of what ho w talking lint night I
Wliou you stood nt tho gnto till tho moonbeam
llnd quenchod all tho stnrn with her light I
Yon ctimo buck with cliwkR Blowing crimson,
And oyelailicn gllltrrlnR with trairs,
And n nmllo which, linlf and, liulf trlumplinnt,
'Htlll over your swcot mouth nppenrs.
i)ld ho litlk of tho bounty of Bummer?
Or priilio tho wild roue's perfume?
Or'snonl: of our nrljom so ruitle,
Where vroodblno nnd Jnsntnlnc bloom?
Ho told you "nKtoryl" Oil 1 did he?
. Well, Knty, denr, toll 11 to inol
You'vo "nlmatt forgot It?" Already I
'H6w very much fluttered hu'd bo I
Y.o'il sti'y Hint you "think I mny guesi It I"
. ..Vm, Ktttr, Uie tory I know:
'Tf'fc'n old tiilo, yet always h mweot ono
I'm ccVtnln that you found It no.
Jl tfttS few In the (lrt dny of Adam,
V lioil.rtniUlerlnR throuuh IMon'ii tilr bowers,
In JSvo'n Httie' tar it wns w hlpertd,
)Vi.V "m'i I'lusiililrfi pluyed with the flowers.
You're blushl.."1 tooi ,vl,t ''"I "ittcrT
Why, what arn,-"Ucry"'K'',,"u"
Your Rrnn.lf.ither told Rmndniotlicr
The very Mima story, no u'
Junt three little words tell this ttory-
What tliousnndt of heiirts they have ti.'rllled I
How many with Joy they have gladdened I
How many w Ith sorrow havo tilled I
These threo little words! " I lovo you I"
You 'tis tho cry Mime tale
That you heard thero last night by tho woodbine,
Jlennoth tho moon's sllicry veil.
Don't say I know notlihiR about It
You know very well It Is true;
Tint Katy, my dear, did you tell him
Tho same story that he told to you ?
I THE VICTIMIZED LODGER.
s nY PAUL Cnr-YTON".
if Mil. Bknjamin F. Dkuiiy returned
to town nntl his lodgings at Mrs. Covey's
rather sooner than ho was expected. It
? wns late In the evening, and having en
tered by means of his night-key, nnd
finding nobody stirring, ho walked lcls-
' nrely up to his room.
This was the apartment Mr. Derby al-
wayti occupied In Mrs. Covey's house ;
' Jmt on this occasion Itseemed very little
llk liome. Heforo leaving town he had
v unrcfulLv nut away all his clothes in his
1 trunks, and during his absence other
j revolutions had been mane m tne room
which cave It a diirerent air.
Not the least disagreeable thing in tho
-r room was darkness. Mr. Derby liad en
erctl without a lamp, expecting to llnd
4 that desirable article in tho old place;
if liut after knocking over an ink-bottle, a
"a vase, and a snuii-nox in ins uiiiuisearcn,
' ilio concluded that the wisest coin-Mi
'NVould be to stop swearing and go to bed
In tho dark.
In no very good humor Mr. Dcnjamin
F. Derby began to undress. To return
homo after an absence of two weeksand
to be obliged to go to bed in such a dis
mal manner, almost broke his heart.
lie might havo rung for the servants, it
Is true; and lie might have reflected
that his friends were excusable, since
they did not expect him; but Mr,
Benjamin F. Derby chose to bo angry
and silent.
"And where Is Margaret Maria?"
muttered tho unhappy man. "Oh,
' faithless daughter of an unfeeling land
lady I I didn't expect this from you!
When I toro myself from your arms
two weeks ago you protested with tears
., In your eyes and perfidy In your heart
! that you would watch, witn tno an.v
ious eves of love, for my return 1 Oh
Ji this looks like HI Kven now, I know
you are making yourself merry with
somo fresh conquest, or, If you are
slceuing under this roof, you are dream
Ing of pleasure in which I havo no
. ..... M. l....t.,.,.l 1,1
snare!" no saying, inj.iuin. .
Derby threw his trowsers on a clmir:
nnd began to grope his way in uurKne.-
to the head of tho bed. At this moment
a merry laugh, close to his chamber door.
b Ktartlcd him. Mr. Derby paused.
" Margaret Maria's laugh, by all that
is fnlsol" groaned Mr. Derby. " riho
said she would do nothing but sigh and
-it wocd during my absence and hear her
'.' nh 1 sho laughs again ! The false heart
?nd-"
& Mr. Derby's reflections were suddenly
interrupted by a sound of a handgrastj
"tflng his door-latch. With considerable
trepidation ho How to lock tho door
. "but before he could reach It, a merry
' laugh and a blaze of light and two girls
,uurt into tiieniuiii.
Now Mr. Derby was a very modes
person, and it was a lucky circumstance
for him that tho closet door was ajar,
the retreat convenient, and his limbs
actlvc. IIo dodged out of sight beforo
. ,1 - 1 Al 1 .... I 41..!.. ......J
mo gins nun iiinu in nni uu-u i-,h.i
jibout them; aud soon tho door was
. iHhut, and Mr. Derby's ears pinned
Hibat'k.
Mi "Whattlmo do you supposo It Is
-asketl Margaret Maria. "There, the
Jk)1Is arc btriklng twelve! Oh, hain't
vo luul u jjay time, Susan V"
'Gay enough! JIu! ha! hut wouldn't
your poor, dear absent Derby bo iinuised
St ho know"
"Hit! ha! ha!" laughed Margaret
Maria. " My poor, dear absent Derby !
That is too good ! if ho knew! Poor
fellow, it would break his heart. IIo
Ihluks 1 do nothing but high and cry
during his absence, Am I such a
goosoj"
" Such a gooso ! Oh !" groaned Derby,
painfully Interested. "Oh."
"Such n goosol" echoed Sue. "He
wouldn't think of Jt if ho had -ecu
you
ncfltlug tho ojtors with Dan. Bobbins."
"I only hoptf," added Margaret
.Maria, " that ho will keep away a week
longer."
" So that wo can havo this room?"
".No not exactly that but Dan. has
JnVlted mo to go to a hall on Thursday
wight, nnd you know J couldn't go if
my 'poor dear absent Derby' should
comu back In the meantime."
Derby was trembling with cold and
wraih.
" You mean to marry Derby then?"
asked Susan.
"I supposo I shall," cried Margaret
Maria gnyly. " I llko to flirt with Dan.
and if ho had as many dollars as my
poor, dear ubent Derby"
"You would choose Dan V"
" To bo sure I would. Ho ain't such
a fool as"
"Derby. Ha! ha! Hut what Is this?
A coat and pair of pataloons."
"Good gracious! How did they
conic here?"
Derby was trembling with excitement
burning with rage ; but now bo felt a
new source of uneasiness. Tho dis
covery of his pantaloons might lead to
tho discovery of himself. Had ho been
dressed ho would havo liked nothing
better thuii to confront tho perfidious
Margaret Jtfaria but for the present, It
was not to bo i.'iotight of. He felt him
self blushing all over, in spite of cold.
To his relief, howovt'r, tho girls, after
making out that that there was nobody
in or iiluler tho bed, did not seem di"-
pCied to inquire into tho.mysleryof tho
pantaloons; but Margaret Maria ex
claimed:
" I'll tell you what I will do, Sue. I'll
dress myself In Hie.-o clothes, and go
Into tho" widow Hindu's room. She'll
think it is a man, and won't sho be
frightened?"
"Frightened? No!" cried btisan.
She's had two husband's. Hut do it.
Sec what sho will say."
"I will. Here, help me, Sue. Ha!
hn! And there's a hat too. How kind
somebody to leave all his clothes
here!"
Derby poor dear, present Derby was
breathing very hard; his heart beat
heavily, and every nerve shook. AN hat
the deuce he was to do if Margaret
Maria went oil" with his pants lie could
in no manner determine ; and from the
exceedingly interesting conversation
which was going on ho knew that his
worst fears wero to bo realized.
"Oh, ain't it a fit," cried Margaret
Maria. "Only turn up the trowsers
Ave or six inches, and I shall bo lixed.
Here, black my upper lip with this piece
of coal, 1 shan't make love to you. J la!
ha! ain't 1 dialling fellow?"
And Derby could hear somebody kiss
ing somebody and somebody laughing
as though she could not help it.
A moment after tho girls had left the
room. Demy stoic timidly irom ins
hiding-place. Margaret Maria had taken
tho lamp and bis clothes with her;
sho had left darkness and her own
ulothcs behind. A happy thought struck
unhiippv Derby. Jn all lutsto bo on
robed himself in Margaret Maria's
gown, then he put her shawl over his
shoulders, and threw on her bonnet and
veil. His eyes having been accustomed
to the darkness, ho could see to do this
without diiUculty. In five minutes he
was ready to follow Sumui and Marga
ret Maria.
During this time there was a great
deal of laughing up stairs. Margaret
Maria in Derby's attire, went to Mrs
Slado's room, who was a litllo startled
at first, but who took things very coolly,
until sho found that it was n t a man,
after all, when sho virtuously gavo vent
to her indignation. Tho adventurer
next proceeded to the attic, whero the
girls wero sound asleep. Sinan having
placed the lamp in the passage, hid he
hind the door, while Margaret Maria
entered and awoke Jane Woods with a
violent shower of kisses. Jane uttered
a faint scream and demanded in a whis
per
"Who are you?"
"Sh !" said Margaret Marin.
Jane hushed accordingly, until she
saw the strange figure proceed to Mary
Clark's pillow, when she concluded that
It was her duty to scream. Mary
screamed, too, after sho had been sev
eral times kissed; and Sarah Jones
joined in the chorus until her mouth
was stopped by a hasty buss.
" Is it you, George? ' she whispered.
At this moment the strange figure,
which had been seen by tho light in tho
passage, ran out, and Su-an, catching
up the lump, ran In.
"What is tho matter?" sho cried in
pretended astonishment.
"Thero is a man in tho room."
"He was kissing Sarah Jones."
"He didn't kiss me. Ho was kissing
Mary Clark."
" Mo? I gite? I'd havo torn Ills eyes
out. It was Jauo Woods ho kl-sed."
Susan was very much astonished of
course, and the girls were all very In
dignant; and no ono of them would
confess that sho had been kissed, until
Susan pointed out the marks of tho
coal moustacho on all tlielr laces, and
called In Margaret Maria. Then there
wns n great deal of laughing ; and Mar
garet Maria having gallanty kissed
them nil, again set out to go down
stairs.
But now It was Derby's turn to have
a little fun, and Margaret Maria's to he
astonished. As Susan advanced the
lamp sho carried revealed a frightful
looking object standing at tho foot of
stairs. It was apparantly a woman of
gigantic structure; her dress was so
short that her hare feet and ankles could
bo seen distinctly ; and sho waved her
largo bony hands at tho terrified girls
majestically as a ghost. Never wero
two mischief-makers moro frightened
by an apparition. Susan dashed herself
against the wall, t'p went a scream nnd
tlown caino the lamp. Tho till covered
tho siulr.-, and Margaret Maiia fainted
and btcjipul Into it. ei that .moment
tho tall woman being Derby himself
cried
" Bobbers I help I murder I" at tho top
of his voice ; nnd Immediately stepped
Into hU room, locking tho door behind
him.
Beforo Mnrgnret Mnrla recovered her
scattered senses all tho boarders wero
astir. Susan rushed Into Mrs. Slado's
room; Margaret would havo followed
her, but Susan lu her terror shut her
out. Next Margaret tried her mother's
door ; and her mother, hearing the
alarm, appeared at that moment, and
terrified by tho coal moustacho and
smashed hat, took her own daughter
for the robber, dropped her lamp, nud
screnmed fearfully. Margaret, as much
frightened as herself, would havo caught
her In her arms, but Mrs. Covey would
hear no explanation, nor allow her
daughter to approach, and pushed her
out of the room with great trepidation.
Then Margaret Maria ran to Derby's
room, which to her great consternation
she found locked. At that moment
Ned Perkins the boldest fellow in tho
hou-c rushed out of his room with a
lamp In one baud and a sword-cane
in the other, ready drawn for combat.
Ned flew at the supposed robber, and
vould havo seized her in an instant, if
sho had not properly seen lit to faint at
the sight of his naked sword and legs,
and fallen down beforo Mr. Derby's
room. Her hat now came oil", her hair
streamed down her neck, and Ned re
cognized Miifgarel Maria.
Anvbody can imagine the scene of
confusion which followed. Tho impru
dent girl found herself surrounded by
half a dozen half-dressed figures, some
wondering, some trembling with terror.
But it was the severest cut for Margaret
Maria, when the door of Derby's room
opened, and the tall apparition appear
ed. As soon as the screaming bad sub
sided, the figure removed its veil.
" Don't be frightened, Margaret Ma
ria," it said. "It's nobody but your
poor dear ab-ent Derby.' That's all."
Can you fancy her feelings? Mr.
Derby could as ho entered the room
again, locked the door, nnd went to bed,
overjoyed at what had occurred, lie
slept soundly, and awoke in the morn
ing as completely cured of his lovo for
Margaret Maria as if he had seen her
turned into a grizzly bear.
GOOD ADVICE.
It requires a highly cultivated moral
nature to be able to accept with perfect
gracioiisiiess a profiered tract. It is not
flattering to your dignity to feel that it
perfect stranger has picked you out at
first sight as a human being who-o soul
is in a very bad way indeed, and the im
mediate impulse of the natural Adam is
to snub the aggressor for his impertinent
suggestion. A life spent in tho exercise
of every virtueand restraint would prob
ably teacli a man to curb his in-tinct of
self-defence, and to treat thesolemu little
warning with imperturbable composure.
We ought, in theory, tofcel thankful to
any ono who appears solicitous about our
soul, Ju-tasmuchas if ho were solicitous
about the state of our toiiguo; and
though it is unnecessary to let thenma.
tour physician haveasight of either, the
true philosopher will bo able to meet tho
inquiry in a kindly spirit, and to inform
the -inquirer that everything is going on
as well as can bo expected under the elr.
cunistances. Itcannotafterallbe, atthe
outset, a cheerful occupation (though it
becomes natural enough in time to those
who enter on it) to go about tho world
giviiigawayaccounfsofcoii verted poach
ers, and poking up every one to see If
they know where they are going to.
If somo-Traet Society would only pub
lish nn nuthentic account of the way In
which pigsor bores first nerve themselves
to take to it, it would bo an interesting
contribution to the hNtory of missionary
labor. Tho thing begins In a laudable
ambition to set about doing somebody
good, andalady who-otiniehangsheavy
on her haiuU will soon feel that giving
away blankets is not such a high and
worthy employment asglvlngaway good
advice. 1 lor first essays are made upon
the poor. Most poor people, especially
in the country, can bo got to take any
thing, provided only it is offered them
by their richer neighbors; nnd the poor
'cem so receptive aud amenable tint it
Isqultean encouragement to go a little
higher,and to try and pracllseon therlch.
In the outset, tho young enthusiast is
usually a little bashful, and commences
operations by dropping tho story ot the
converted poacher furtively out of a car
riage window, or leaving it, when no
ono is looking, on tho table of some rail'
way waiting-room. The next btep Is to
send It anonymously by post, and in a
disguised handwriting, to thoo of her
acquaintances or neighbors who seeni
from general appearances to need It most.
But this modest wish to escape publicity
presently wears oil', and It becomes com
paratlvely oa-y to present the gilt in
person to the casual stranger.
It is clear that tho converted poacher
can do no ono any real harm, and It is
always potsible that his happy history
may do sonio ono good, it is worth
while, therefore, to take the chance, aud
anv little rcbuir or annoyance which oc
curs nt intervals during tho process of
distribution is only n sort of humble
martyr'acrown which It i.slhoyoungint.-
sloimry'sliusiiiesstobowillingundproiuj
to wear. To be perfectly consistent, sho
ought not Indeed to confine herself to the
distribution of tracts. The promiscuous
dlsti'ibutloiiofpillsmlghlbejiistlficdau
icconiiiKiided upon similar grounds
and, if mice authorised by custom, would
become. er. popular vithkuiiuiutdi
trlbutors. No sensible person ought to
1)0 offended at being offered a really good
pill, and thero would bo this advantage
about tho distribution of pills, that the
production of a pill-box does not neces
sarily seem to imply a religious supe
riority on tho part of tho plll-glver. A
man may wnnt one without knowing it,
or, if ho does not want it now, the time
may come when ho will want it. At
imy rate, It can do no harm to oiler It,
and though tracts have this additional
value, that they nro designed to minister
to tho mind, It Is belter to minister to
the body than not to minister to any-.
tiling at all.
Both sort.'i of ministration may accord
ingly bo undertaken from a genuine de
sire to promote tho welfare of one's fel
low-creatures, and In theory it would
nppear harsh and unkind to meet any
Midi medicinal overtures with rudeness
or discourtesy. Tracts and pills, after
all, arc only what is meant for good ad
vice, disguised, us the case may be, either
in print or in sugar. And It seems
doubtful, from a moral point of view,
whether we ought to sneer at either lu
tho presence of tho donor. Tho philan
thropist who wishes to go through life
giving as little pain ns po.-slblo will bo
ns careful not to hurt tin; feelings of an
enthusiast as he would be to avoid hurt
ing a caterpillar, and will politely
pocket for the moment anything that Is
presented to him in tho way of sugges
tion oradinonltlon. Sontepersonsnilght
think It was a man's bounden dutv In
such a ca-o to remonstrate with the in
truder. Thisdoesnotseenisoclcar. At
least it would only bo equivalent to re
turning pill for pill, witli the certainty
that the remonstrance, would be entirely
thrown away. Controversy with a tract
distributor, or any other distributor of
good advice, is not likely to do the dis
tributor any sensible good; and if he
likes tospend his tinieiiithedistribution,
it is, after nil, no business of ours.
Good advice is a tiling which ought
doubtless, on rare occasions, to lie fear
lessly and frankly given, and yet it is
one of those good things which are pro
vorbially almo-t always valueless. An
attempt to reform tho character of our
neighbors, and to alter the current of
their lives, cannot bo said to bo alto
gether a forlorn hope, because every
now and then It does by a miracle suc
ceed. Tho phenomenon of conversion,
though exceptional, is not utterly un
known, and for tho best of reasons. The
law of habit is probably tho strongest
law ol our moral nature. Habit is tho
lord of life, and the conibinationof
motives which lends to action in any
single case, the next time it presents it
self, produces a similar etl'ect more easily
and quickly. Soon habit becomes a
second nature, and tho motives which
nt first had to overcome a sort of n.s in-
crlim within ns before they resulted in
action and by influencing us instinct
ively and immediately.
It is on this account, as ancient phi
losophers teach us, that education is so
important. It presides over the forma
tion of habits themselves, and whatever
presides over tho formation of habits
has in its hands tho direction of our
futtiro career. The reason why conver
sion is occasionally possible is, on tho
other hand, tolerably plain. Habit,
though powerful, is not omnipotent, for
if it were, men would be at the mercy
of their early training, and it would bo
ns difficult to change character as it is to
warp the growth of a tree. It rests
originally, indeed, on a combination of
motives, but the motives that make up
tho combination do not invariably in
hale among them all tho motives that
may conceivably move us. Sumo are
left outside, dormant, or even undis
covered. Some that aro even included
figure amongst the rest, It may bo, in u
leepy kind of way, and are not what
they might be if they were thoroughly
aroused. Jt is never, therefore, certain
that we may not at any epoch in our
lives call into activity somo now motive
which only requires to bo awakened in
order to became completely predoml
Hint.
It is by hitting on somo such fre.h
power within us that habits, however
indurated, aro every now and then
broken or dissolved. And thero arc
periods in the history of nil of us when,
from some undiscovered cause, we are
more susceptible than usual to this in
ternal commotion, which is to tho moral
character what a revolution is to a State.
The commotion is not, Indeed, univer
sally productive of advantage, t'onver-
Ions to evil, though infrequent, are not
unknown. A man who has lived for
years in temperance or sobriety in his
maturer ago falls under tho .sway ot
some passion which tears him loose from
his moorings, and .-ends him adrift. But
thoinfroquoiicy of this spectacle, as com
pared with tho comparative frequency
of tho converse, is due to tho fact that
good habits are more firmly and reason
ably set, in general, than bad ones. Tho
former Imjily an original moral struggle,
during the coiirso of which tenipta
tions have been conquered and passions
brought under control, and it is not often
that an enemy once thoroughly defeat
ed Is able to regain tho upper bund
Hut habit, on the contrary, seldom In
volvi-i the previous defeat of virtue.
Virtuous impulses aro less Instlnctlvo
and less clamorous than tho Instincts of
passion ; they do not loudly proclaim
themselves or hurry us away insplto of
ourselves. They may easily exist with
out ever having been noticed. A man
may bo wicked without ever having
listened tonnd positively decldodngniiist
the appeal orvlrtue; but ho cannot be
virtuous without having heard ami (lis
j, vd the chit'ii-uf Ma, Judgment
given In favor of good habits Is accord
ingly less easily rever-ed,forlt pro-supposes
a complete hearing and deter
mination of the cause. It Is therefore
true, as a general proposition, that when
habits aro once formed, they nro usually
broken to some good purpo-o ; nnd the
possibility of contending even against
this Inveterate tyranny with success
justifies, in theory, the giving of good
advice. The missionary may. by irood
luck or good guidance, disturb from its
lcthnrgy of years soinoadinlrableniotlve
In tho bosom of his hearer that has
never yet been energetic, far less been
hitherto thoroughly discussed aud put
down.
The first essential to success In so
philanthropic a mission Is that tho au
thority of tho person who gives the good
advice should bo unimpeachable. Be
fore he gets a hearing ho ought to bo
able to show that ho has a right to be
beard. In order to obtain credit for
this authority, he must convince us,
first, that ho knows something about
tho subject ; nnd, secondly, that ho is
himself a person who merits that re
spect which none deserve who do not
practise what they preach.
The casual tract-distributing young
lady only, at bent, persuades those whom
she ns-ails of the latter fact. Clergymen
of an aggressive turn Usually fall to do
much more. We feel that tho gentle
man in awhile necktie, who is so urgent
in talking to us about tho next world,
means well, and Is a well disposed per
son ; but this only constitutes a part,
and a feeble part, of his title to be lis
tened to. The next thing lie has to show
Is that he understands what he is talk
ing about, which he cannot do unless he
understands n good deal about this world
as well as about (ho next. And his
honest Intcrfcre.'ce lu our afl'alrs makes
him start nt something of a di.-advan-tage.
It W, prima fttcie, doubtful whether a
man who takes It so quietly for granted
that he has something of importance to
coniniuuicateisiiotdeflcient in judgment
or good sense or knowledge of his snl
ject. Before very long, unless he is a
clever fellow, tho enthusiast puts him
self out of court. He has only consid
ered the matter from his own point of
view, and has evidently never seen that
his own point of view is limited. Siqi
po.-ing, for example, that his hobby Is the
wickedness of balls and theatres. 1 f he
thinks them wrong, he obviously does
not frequent them ; and if he does not
frequent thuni, ho can scarcely know as
much about them as tho.-o who do. It
turns nut that his want of familiarity
with them has led him from a distance
to exaggerate their evils, and to neglect
altogether the bright side of the picture.
If ho oilers us, on the other hand, a
short and instructive narrative of tho
death-bed of a pious washerwoman, ho
places himself in an equally palpable
dilemma. Kithcr he thinks it will do
us good, or he does not. If not, It is
absurd to offer it fro u. If ho does, he
nt once proves that he is ignorant
enough to believe that the pious end of
a washerwoniun has some bearing on
the religious problems that present them
selves to an educated person. And a man
who can believe this is evidently little
better than a monomaniac. It is pure
waste of time to enter info a discussion
with him, and if wo do so, it is for tho
ike of that courtesy and those very
good manners against which his p res
umption is an ofl'onee.
If, la-lly, he repudiates these narrow
and somewhat obsolete methods of forc
ing his opinions upon us, he still assumes
tho position of a teacher who has some
thing valuable to recommend to our no
tice. The position is an invidious one,
and challenges attack. In ninety-nine
cases out of a hundred it turns out that
his assumption is purely baseless. lie
starts from picini.-es which do not em
brace all the prenii-es that bear upon tho
point, or he merely repeals over again
what lias been said much better by
others, with who-o arguments we nro
familiar. If the account wo haveabove
given of the process qj' conversation be
approximately correct, it is certain , even
if ho is in the right, that the only seri
ous chances lie can havo will be with
those who aro thoughtless or who aro
Ignorant. Wo feel that he has no bus!
uess to take It for granted that wo are
ither. Thoughtles-uesS with tho edu-
ated is a raro phenomenon ; ignorance
cm only be dispelled by one who is
better informed than ourselves. Ill
attack, therefore, amounts to an asser
tion either that we aro living in pure
recklessness as to what Is right, or to an
assertion that ho Is better Instructed on
Intellectual or religious subjects than we,
Kithcr of these us-ertions is more or
less of a crime against good sciuo and
decency, and tho man who makes it in
an oil-hand way to tho first stranger he
meets merits a rebufl. i el if the rebuff
is administered ho thinks it hard. 11!
intentions, ho says to himself, wero so
good. The proper answer to this apology
Is, that though his intention-im good
his Ignorance or his conceit is anything
hut good, Beforo proposing to teach tho
world, It was his buslnes-. to find out
what the world already knew. Kcllg
Ion does not command any one to be !g.
norant, nor !.- It an excuse for that l'liar-
1-alcal self-satlstactiou wnlcii is ui:ln to
Ignorance His religious feelings may
bo genuine, but they no more warrant
him in ollerliig us a tract than In otier
iug us a slap In tho face. To decline It
with the equanimity with which one
declines a pinch of siiull Is perfectly nl
lowablo from every mortal point of
view. To accept It with composure is
ns we have ob-erved, tho high pvh liege
of the true phlhisonher.
tils an Irritating feature about most
of tho good advice which It Is a man's
misfortune to receive, Unit It Is given by
way or satisfaction to the donor, nulto
ns much as to benefit tho recipient. Peo
ple gel into, a vague way of thinking
that it is their prerogative to go through
life " doing good." No term Is so com
monly or so abominably misused. 11
means In the mouths or tho majority
of those who Use It, " otiiploymentof
ineir imperfect moral Jtui,-"icnt unon
their neighbor's business. This yearn
ing to havo a finger in every moral or
plritual pie Is seldom disinterested.
It is dictated less, perhaps, by a wish to
benefit one's species than by a wish to
gratify one's own cravings after Influ
ence and missionary work. A similar
phenomenon is often seen in more world
ly matters. A morbid deslro to interfere
with or to Influenceothers Is more light
ly excused by one's own conscience If
ono is able to argue that, after all, the
Interference Is meant to bo exercised for
tho advantage of those on whom we
force It. The conscqucneo of this Is that
half the good advice pressed upon us In
worldly matters is purely bad advice. I
People begin to advise without qualify
ing themselves for tho post of adviser.
A cynic might not unnaturally come
to tho conclusion that no gratuitous ad
vice nt all is worth having. When a
man wants it he can always ask for it ;
nnd If the doctors and lawyers wero
animated with a passion for advising
gratis, their counsel would be given
with less sense of responsibility, witli
less discrimination, and therefore to less
purpose. Doctors and lawyers, howev
er, have this merit, that they have at
least studied tho questions on which
they oiler their opinion. Amaleurs,
whether in theology or business, can
not always say as much. Thcreare t wo
pieces of good advice which might per
haps be offered in return to all those who
are about gratuitously to give good ad
vlco to others. The first would be not
to give it. This recommendation, bow-
ever, will never be followed until the
moral character of the would-bo advis
ers is permanently reformed. It would
bo too distasteful to be popular. The
second is, not to give good advice until
one is quite sure that one has it to give,
and that one is not preaching to a per
son who knows moro already about the
mutter than we can tell him. Polonitt
in virtue of his parental dignity, had a
right to give Laertes as much advice as
lie could carry. Polonius, however, or
indeed I'olonla. in a railway-carriage or
in a drawing-room, grafifyinghisorher
ambition to be of some influence in the
world, is of less service to society than
Polonius or Villoma would bear patient,
ly to be told. London Saturday Jkcicw
LOVE.
With man love is never n passion or
such intensity and sincerity as with wo
man. She is a creature of sensibility,
existing only in the outpourings ami
sympathies of her emotions; every
earthly blessing, nay, every Ihravenlv
hope, will bo sacrificed for her affections.
She will leave the sunny home of her
hildhood, tho protecting roof of her
indred, forget the counsels of her sire,
the admonishing voice of that mother
on whose bosom her head has been pil
lowed, forsake all she has clung to in
her years of girlish simplicity, do all
that woman can do consistently with
honor, and throw herself into tho arms
of the man she idolizes. 1 To that would
forsaken woman after these testimonies
of nll'ectlon is too gross a villain to bo
.tilled a man. Tho wrath of Heaven
will pursue him, the brand of Cain is
upon his brow, and tho etirso of Judas
will rankle at his heart. Unrequited
love with man is to him never a cause
of perpetual misery; other dreams will
flow in upon ids Imagination; tho ab
straction from business, the meteor of
ambition, or tho pursuit of wealth will
win him away from his early infatua
tion. It is not thus with woman. Al
though thescene may change, nnd years
long, withering, and lingering years,
steal away tho rose from tho cheek of
beauty, the ruins of a breaking heart
cannot bo amalgamated ; the memories
of that idle vision cannot lie obliterated
from tho soul ; sho pines, nerves herself
anew with pride, and pines away again,
until her gentle spirit bids adieu to the
treacheries of earth, and lilts away into
the bosom of her God.
AN UNGRATEFUL GUEST.
A Maciuioxian soldier, who had
often distinguished himself by his valor
and received marks of Philip's favor
and approbation, was onco wrecked by
a violent storm, and cast onshore, help
less, naked, and scarcely with the up-
pearaneo or lite. In this condition lie
was round by a stranger residing near
tho coast, who, with the utmost human
ity and concern, flew to his relief, bore
him to his house, laid him on Ids own
bed, revived, cherished, and for forty
days supplied him freely with all the
necessaries and conveniences which his
languishing condition could require.
The soldier rescued from death was in
cessant In his professions of gratitude;
and being furnished with a sum of
money to pursue hi-Journey, he left his
benevolent host ; but no sooner did the
wretch return to court, than ho obtain
ed from Philip a grant of tho land of hi
benefactor, whom ho Immediately drove
from his settlement. The poor man,
stung with such nu instance of ba.-o in
gratitude, addressed u letter to Philip,
representing his own and the soldier's
conduct In a lively aud ulli'cll ng manner
The king was fired Willi liiillgunilon ;
he ordered that Justice Miould be In
stantly done; that tho poor man's pos
session should bo restored; and having
seized' tho soldier, caused his forehead
to bo branded " Tho Uiigrutorul Guest ;"
n character Infamous lu every age, and
among all nations, but particularly
among the Greeks, who wero Jealously
observant or the lnA's of hospitality.-
OCCUPATION OF EX-GENEBALS.
Tin: American War Department has
been for some time preparing an army
register, which shall contain tho niinio
of all tho soldiers In the Federal armlesr
hen completed Ilwlll be composed of
nvo volumes of six hundred pages each.
Tho present ooccuprttlon of seine of tho
I'cderal Generals will. ncrhaiH. bo' of
Interest. Burnsldo Is railroad agent in
tho Pennsylvania oil region; Buflcr is
a Massachusetts manufacturer ; Schiii'.
is in w iishinglon, correspondent of tho
New York Tribune; Slegel Is tho editor
of aGeiman paper In Baltimore ; Frank
lin is superintending Colt's armory tit
nnrtiord ; w. s. Smith, of tho cavalry.-
Is selling groceries til Chicago; M. It.
ratricK, I'rovost-Marshal General of
Grant's army, is a New York farmer;
Ferroro is teaching dancing; Percy
v yndiiam is a fencing master. Amomr
tho Confederates, Buckner is a New
Orleans editor; Gardner, of Port Hud
son memory, is a local reporter; tho
General who drove olf Franklin and his
fifteen thousand troops nt the famous
attack upon Sabine Pass, is a bar-keeper
at Houston, Texas ; G. F. Anderson was
first n butcher, but now an auctioneer;
u. M. t'orrest runs asaw-indl in Ten
nessee; and Wheeler is a commission
merchant in Augusta. Georirla. The
Times J'hihukljthiu Correspondent.
TIIE EVE OF BATTIiE'.
It would be difficult to convey to tho
mind of an ordinnry reader anything
like n correct notion of the state of feel
ing which takes possession of a man
waiting for the commencement of ti
battle. In the first place, timo appears
lo move on leaden wings; every minute
seems an hour, nnd every hour a day.
Then there is u strange commingling or
levity and seriousness within him; it
levity which prompts him to laugh, ho
knows not why, nnd n seriousness which
urges him ever nnd anon to lift up a
mental prayer to tho Throne of Grace.
On such occasions litllo or no conversa
tion passes. The privates generally lean
on their firelocks, the officers on their
swords ; and few words, except mono
syllables, in reply to questions put, tiro
spoken. On theso occasions, too, tho
faces of the bravest often change their
color, and tho limbs of tho most reso
lute tremble, not with fear, but with
anxiety; while watches are consulted,
till tho Individuals who consult them
grow absolutely weary of the employ
ment. On tho whole, It is a situation
of higher excitement and darker and
deeper agitation than any in human
life; nor can he bo said to feel all that,
man is capable of feeling who has not
filled It. Siege of St. Sebastian.
MARRIAGE.
Wir ATr.vr.n faults Voltaire may havo
had, ho certainly showed himself a man
of senso when ho said: "Tho moro
married men you have, tho fewer crimes
thero will be. Marriage renders a man
moro virtuous and wiser." An unmar
ried man is but half of a perfect being,
and it requires the other half to mako
things right; and It cannot bo exicct-
cd that in this imperfect state ho can
keep tho straight path of rcctititudo
any moro than a boat with ono oar, or
a bird with ono wing, can keep a straight
course. In nine cases out or ten, where
men become drunkards, or whero they
commit crimes against the peace of tho
community, the foundation of these acts
was laid while inusinglostato,orwhero
the wife Is, as is sometimes tho case, an
unsuitable' match. Marriage changes
the whole current of a man's feelings,
and gives him a centre for his thoughts,
his affections, and Ills acts. Hero Is it
home for tho entire man, and tho coun
sel, tho affections, tho example, and tho
interests of ids " better halP' keep him
from erratic courses, and frpm falling
Into a thousand temptations to which
ho would otherwiso bo exposed. There
fore tho friend to marriage is a friend
to society and to his country.
In the United States there arc about
00,000 common schools, which aro sup
ported In part by tho State Treasury,
aud partly by school funds and school
taxes, hi Kngland and Wales thero aro
Id,OI2 public and privato schools, atten
ded by 2,1 11,1578 scholars. In addition
thero aro 1,515 evening schools, which
provide for :i!),7M children. Tho num
ber of Sunday schools is 23,51-1, with
2,107,012 scholars. It Is estimated that
in England thero Is it scholar for every
8.110 persons ; in Scotland about one sev-
nth of tho people aro at school ; while
in the United States thero Is ono scholar
for every two hundred persons receives
instruction in schools ; so that whlluat
nine o'clock on every Monday morning
thero are l,0uo,(Kii.i American boys nud
girls ut school, thero nro lu Biissin only
luo.ono enjoying the deuellt of Inseruc
tlon. A rsi:.vri.r.MAN troubled with a short
memory having acquired tho bad habit
of turning down a leaf of a book so as
to remember where ho left off, writes to
say that ho never can recollect it street
that he's only been lu once. How is ho
to remedy this defect? Very simply i
let him do as he does with his books
turn down a corner,
myn
le ti
M.MUS-tjtjil,..
-J- 1-tHfcJO

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