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lc It Jr. n- .s? rt ilf U U- ia ro mi r. lhi : 01 j ml ik I (M ; in) i (J. ii.. si: on I 111 11 1 I In. itl ml l rlll OUb I lilt xU,. hot r.K- . IRllV III. i -owl III" inn. i' ni , n hi . Uiir- uinL mi- m.r ii'in a Ixt I 01 7 ( 3(0 .1 Hll i) nil iinb he Columbian, AN INDEPENDENT JOURNAL, IS ITIIMSHKO MTPT MTV1IUAY, lf TllooitiOmrgi Caluniblii County, Pn, TEHMS. TVo Dollars nycnr, In ndvnucc. If nut paid In ndviuicc, Two Dollars nud nrtjJ'tViil". .NUJrrisiillU'llcru tu oi:onai3 ir. Moonu, Citltur of the Colvjimav, llloomsburR, Columbia County, Va. I- -M. IN ABSENCE. iiy riuitit: cAiiv. Watch lior kindly, stars Worn tho nwci't iirotcctlim ikltn l'ollow licr with tender cyc i Look o lovingly that bIiu L'unnot chooe Imt think of moj Watch lior kliiUly, fctart 1 (-ootlin lior wotly, nltfit Jin her eyes, o'crwofUlod, ircs Thi tired 1I.W with llclit cari'ss; Let tlmt shadowy hand of tlitnii liver In Iht dn ritds xoeM ii'iluu ; 'tivothu lior sweetly, nljlit I Walto lior gently, mom Irft tho notes of curly btiils Hi'Cin llku Iavu'h mnliulloiii wiiidii; l.very jdcnyitnt uound, my dt'nr, AVhoii she stirs from ulecp, ulinuld honr J WuUoliorueiitly, morn t iJlHihrrnnftly, wlndi f oftly, tlmt he limy nut utln Any Hwcut, iit'CiHtomed liUn j On lior 1IH, lu-r i'j i, liur futo, Till I coma to tnlio your iduroi Kl8 niul klii lior, wlndH I TWINS. fnv Jf. r. UAiiLia. I MKT tks Dudley nt the house of ;t Mrs. "Wheeler. She wiw visiting there '" tit the time, nud ho wtw I. J don't sup yoau any ono would hnvo culled "her tt ; pretty wimuin. She hud u superb form, . lull iind strulht, rather full ; u line if 3ied baluiii'cd above her sloping phoul de.M; u brond low foreheail, looK'inif out , j, from under heavy iini3.scsi of durk brown 4 lutlr ; brown, earnest eyes, that looked you full in the faee; n rather latere, but well, spread noo; broad mouth, with : thin, .scarlet llpi, thiitopeniiif; displayed 'p. ii kooiI .substantial set of white, even teeth ; and a skin white and smooth a.s polished marble. A She might havo been Iwenty-nvo, ono would have said to look at her I found t out afterward that sliewas thirty. No doubt she hud had plenty of oilers of " jnarriaRo; mid then, too, she had such a grand, stately way with her that timid i snt'ii would havo stood soincwhat in .-nwe. IJut I'm not ft timid man, especially r ntnonfr ladles; and besides, when she -chose, Miss Dudley could, be very fasui- natint;. She drew mo toward her by some mysterious charm. 1 think it was u Hort of animal magnetism xmiestraiiHe, .' inoKinoric power that sho exercised over me. Now at the time I am speaking of I ww just thirty-three; but singular n it may seem, although J have always been exceedingly tender-hearted, I hail never felt tho least twlngoof tho " grande pas hIoii." I liad met a great many pretty ; faces, quite a number of lovely ones, and ono or two that were decidedly beau- " tifiii. Miss Minnie Dudley was neither. Taken altogether, that is in form and feature, one might call her superb; but who was the hint woman that most men would fall In love with. They would jUandatudMancoand admire her, but as for claiming her as their own, it took 1 moro of a certain kind of courage than most men have ; but as for me, why, I think sho was just tho woman that 1 had been unconsciously looking for. I may as well remark that J am a man of considerable wealth. 1 own a splen did establishment on Union Square. For ' t years it had been under the entire man ngenient of Mrs. Ureyon, my houe "; keeper. Now 1 really felt that it was .' my duty to bring homo a wife to pre side over that establishment. There ' were many women that could havo ' done tho honors well, but none with tho grace of Miss Dudley. Therefore, you perceive, I concluded . after mature deliberation that 1 would marry tho aforesaid young lady, pro "' vlding f.ho would havo me. r I didn't havo a great deal of doubt iibout that. Most women of humble J means would have probably married ' t me for my fortune; butl imagined that , Miss Dudley was not-one of that class. " She jio.s.-ese.i tv noble soul, and if she ever consents to be mine, it will bo be ? cause she love-, me," I said. I looked out of the window Just then, -nnd espied tho object of my thoughts fining up from tho garden. She looked !rio grand and stately that 1 couldn't lielpsniilingnt tho thought of her ever .condescending to love a poor mortal of 'the maeuline gender. "' ' Who sho was 1 could not have told at VsStho time. I had come down from tho 5city to visit my particular friend, Hob JWheuler. Miss Dudley wa- there when I arrived. I learned that she re.ldcd In 'Greenfield with a married si-ter. She had a, few thousands enough to support Jier respectably, and that was all. " A lino woman," s.ild liob, as ho lit 'w cigar. " If I was a marrying man, 1 f Jfjjnlght but bah! She's superb, grand, Jvtoo grand quid ntmlsi" . "1 don't think so." "Why, with your establishment, iff Trunk, she's Just the woman to make a display. You could trot her out on t btttto occasions, you know ; but a man in n email country town like this, for In stance, would bo in quite as bad a llx tw .thu mini who bought the elephant, with iBiiuh u wonian for a wife." " .Strange sho was never nrirrled." " Sho had oilers ; but she rejected them , 'mil. That's not strange, because she 'would not marry tunaii unless ho had j '.n largo tpiantlty of brains, or a large ' Hharo of money, which amounts to the ytiimi) thing, In this world, you know." 4 " Do you believe that, llobV" "Of course, l'mpretly wellucqualut ' cfl with her. I Mioulil in quick think of ' making love to l'o", ens' (Jreek Mnvoiis t toMlss Mlniilo Dudley. What a ills duluful smile -ho'tl give a Mluw !" VOL. I.-NO. 14. Now that wasn't Just what T wanted. I suppoio wo are nil foolish enouirh sotuetlmes In our Hvoj to want some onetolovo us; but I had never, until mo ttay i met .Miss Dudley, seen the woman that I thought I 'could love. And now well, Hob didn't know of course. Miss Dudley always stood upon ner dignity, j'.ob might have thought that ho was acquainted with her, but 1 felt that he wasn't. Determined to win this woman, not only her hand but. her heart of course, 1 became nsnttentlvetoheraseverlover was to Ida mistress. And she was verv gracious to mo in return. I tried to think that soniouets of hers, some ex pression of her face or some peculiar tone of her voice, Indicated a dawning of tho tender pas.Mon In lior bosom, and at lust I felt sure that sho yes, I was positive that the majestic Miss Dudley really loved me. Iteing now convinced of that, nothing remained for me to do but propose in the ordinary fashion. I met .Miss Dudley in tho garden that evening. I drew her arm through mine, and we walked on. it seemed to me that thousands of little Cupids were hovering over our heads; the moon coming up behind the trees 1 look to bo tho torch of Hymen, and the garden of Mr. heelerseemed like some enchant ed ground. We took seats upon a rustic bench at the farther end of the garden. 1 held her little hand In mine. Now was the time. "MUs i Dudley," I began, my voice choking with strange emotions, "you cannot but have seen you must have felt that I loved you." X looked up for encouragement, but sliewas looking away from me. Her hand laid passively in mine, not a tremor ran through her frame. Her face, to all appearance, was as calm as si Summer's morning. " Minnie, darling, J love you. Will you be my wife'.'" " Yes," she replied calmly, turning toward me. J drew her toward my bosom, and pres-ed numberlivs kis.-es upon brow, cheek, and lip. 1 wa- satisfied, still water runs deep, they y.xy, and I believed it then. I im agined that her feelings were too deep fur words. Defo.-e wo left the garden that night we had arranged everything in regard to our wedding, which was to lake place in September, nt the house of Miss Dudley's sister, in (irecnllold. I was to return to New York the next day to make preparations for the great event of my life. "(food night, Minnie, dear," I paid, kissing liar, as we parted at the hall door. Dob was In his own room. J went up and told hint of my success. " Wish me joy, Mob." " liah ! I could havo done that a month ago. 1 know how it would turn out, Ihit I say, Frank, did she tell you that she loved you V" and Hob took his cigar from his mouth and smiled rather saucily, 1 thought. 1 didn't reply. You perceive that I didn't consider that that was any of his biislne. Besides, too, when I thought of it, I remembered that she had never told me anything of the kind. She had said "yes," when I asked her to be my wife; but as to tho love why, I had settled that question in my mind before I had made tho proposal, and I wasn't going to let it trouble mo now. Tho next day I was in New York. I whispered to Wiggins that J was boon to leap into the horriblo abyss of matri mony. Wiggins told Drown, and Drown told Miss Urittlewell, anil she told all her female acquaintances, and they told till their friends, and 1 found in less than twenty-four hours after I had told Wiggins of tho proposed wedding to take place' in Oreentleld, everybody in Now York knew it. The next day, when T met tho Misses l'iz.lebob in thcirearrlageon Iiroadwny, they hardly noticed me. They bowed stiilly. You see I had been somewhat at tentive to the young Miss I'i.zlebob, though I had never entertained serious thoughts concerning the fair creature. Hut now 1 approach the serious part nf my story. I would much rather pass over this matter In silence, but as I sat down with the determination to tell the whole story of my courtship, keeping nothing back, I must push through. It was September. 1 was on my way to Ureeillleld, It was tho happiest day of my life, 1 think. I had written to Minnie that 1 should lie there on the third, but instead, I was there on the second. At the depot, of cour.-e, there was no one to meet me. 1 called a car riage, and told the driver to sot me down at the hou-o of George .Summers, my Minnie's sister's husli.iud. It was a small cottage house, painted white, with green blind'. It wassitiia ted some distance back front tho street. A brick walk, upon either side of which was a llower-lied, led from the gate up to the front door. I hurried to thodoorand rang thobell. There was no answer, and so J rang again. Then I heard footsteps, and al last a key rattled In tho lock, ami then the door opened. It was my Minnie, bless her heart I I seized her hand, ami drew her toward me. She shrieked, and then tried to draw herself away. " Minnie, darling !" I cried, still hold higher fa-t. " Sir!" looking daggers at mo. " Why do ymi treat mo thus'.'"'! ask ed, o.sccfdingly surprised and bewilder cd, but .still hoUlini, her hand-. BLOOM fS BURG, SATURDAY, AUGUST i 18G0. " Unhand me, villain !" she shrieked. "Murder! Help! Ueorge!" Was the woman crazy ? 1 really fear ed she was; and then I thought per haps she never loved me. Then, by a strong ell'orl, In spite of her struggles, I tlnew my arms around her and pressed her to my bosom, raining kisses upon her lips. "Monster! help! help I" she cried again. Iteally this wni brooming quite un pleasant to mo. Such a reception for a lover by his mistress 1 had never heard or reaiUif. Andjuat at this Juncture I heard footsteps approaching, and a voice asking the cause of all the row, and that was Just what I wanted to know. "O, O'corgo! help nie!" and a small gentleman, wry thin and short, with light hair, blue eyes, anil red whiskers, sprang toward me. " What are you doing here, you rogue'."' ho asked, stepping up and laying his hand on my shoulder. I was Just tho least bit excited. I am sure 1 could not have been In my right mind, or I should not have done what I did. Besides, I'd lately been taking lessons in rlie noble art of H'lf-defence. 1 wanted to display myself, and further more, I didn't want to be bullied by a little man with red whiskers; and so I squared oil', and shaking the red-whisk ered chap's hand from my shoulder, I struck out boldly with my left, iloored my antagonist, and drew tltellrst blood. "There, lay quiet now, my lovely youth," said I, seeing that he had no thought of coming up to the "scratch," and then 1 turned and grasped Minnie in my arms once more. 1 don't know what would have hap pened next; but just then 1 heard a light footstep on the stairs. I looked up, ami " Well, you can't undor-tund my feel ings, and 1 cannot describe them. I was bewildered at first, but now why, deuce take i.ie, but there were tiro Minnies!" " Mr. Hills! Why, how do you do'."' said the Minnie on tin' stairs, extending her hand toward me. " Why, what does this mean '."' and she looked down at the prostrate form of the red-whiskered chap. J. couldn't speak. I looked first at tho Minnie in my arms and then at Minnie before me; and then 1 loosened my hold upon the former and took the hand of the latter. " Will you plea-"e explain '."' I asked. " I think you should," was theaiiswcr. "Well, I will," I replied, looking at Minnie number one ; "i arrived here live minutes ago ami undertook to kiss my betrothed" "No." " Who, then?" "Mrs. George Summers, my twin sinter!" " Bless me!" said T, as tho light broke in upon me, and I was just a little pro fane, that i-, in a low tone of voice. "And this is Mr. Frank Hills"."' cried Mrs. Summers, extending her hand and laughing heartily. "Give us your hand, old fellah," said Mr. Summers, the small, red-whiskered chap, rising from the floor. "I hope 1 didn't hurt you." "Not a bit. But what a mistake'.' Why didn't you tell me'."' " Why, I supposed you knew." And then we all went into dinner, nnd a more jolly party younover.-.iw. And, well, the next day there was a wedding in Greenlleld, and Minnie and I were made ono ile-h and bone. Little remains to be said, except that Minnie anil 1 live very happily together, and I have made myself enough ac quainted with her features to be able to distinguish between her and Mrs, Hum mers. DItESS IN ENGLAND. There has never been a time during the pro-en t reign in Kngland, when so much money has been spent as at the present period upon dresses. Our fair ones arerunninga race in extravagance, in many families the cost per person for dress averages ono thousand pound a year this, of course, exclusive of Jewelry. Foru sIukIo dre.ss, prices va rying from forty pounds to ono hun dred and fifty pounds are frequently paid. It Is in the rareness of material and its amount that tho excess usually consists, not In the skill or art of the design. During this week 1 havo been present at thcopenlngof what Is term ed an International Horticultural In hibition, in the fashionable part of Lon don an occasion on which tho fickets of admission were one guinea and there I saw the prevalent wastofulnesi dis played in the morning dross. Trains of satin, some yards long, were m'ou drag ging over gravel walks and colleei ing all foreign matter from tho grass. Ijiico was 'there in shawls and cloaks, which used to bo worn only in very small quantities by our grandmothers. As to our bonnets, very soon they will ill-appear, If they continue to diminish at the rate they havo followed for the l.isltwu or three .'ca-ous. They have dwindled Into -onicthlug of thoslze of a broad piece of ribbon, but the .shapes that tuo cho-.en are H-arcely to bo num bered. Watching the Hue llgures of many of our 11 igll.-h girls, surrounded by an Inunen.-o breadth of something exquisite, "precious stuff," and wear lug on their heads some old jumble of ribbon.-, and flowers,' wu are frequently forced to admire; but If in the midst of our ruminations tho form arises In our minds of the chit-to and natural stylo of a few years hawk, with Its .simple adorn-niC'iit- and harmony wllh the native gra.i or of a cl.V'unl dupery, 'tub a. lll'.il I tfc,ll S . lift fN A X I -s. -rv iiz-xu mii iicir irn fLC inn ' ai imi ra i-3 lurn ikvii iv v u , 1 1 a 11. ill 11 II I 1 M'llo llachol ued to wear In her tragedies these walking bales of goods, these drapers' and dress-makers' models cease tocharni. Can any tlres be suited to us which prevents the exercise of muscles and limbs! Tho Countesses and Duchesses whom I saw on Tuesday, nt Kensington, were exposed to n hun dred mishaps. To walk with such trap pings is a dllllculty, but to walk, and to stop, and to turn round, Is a danger. You may take your hat o:f to a lady, tluso days, but If you advance to shako her little hand you lluster her, for you tread upon her dross, jf i-he Is alarmed her admirer is still more so. Some men havo acquired the greatest dexterity in nvoidlug an unfortunate step, for there are lueji who can stand on anything, on tho spire of St. Paul's, but to the average, the modern garb of our ladles Is a snare and a vexation. ADVERTISING FOR A AVIFE. A MAIL AGENT'S STORY. It Is now Pome two or three weeks since a young gentleman entered the olllco of a Special Agent of the l'ost Olllee Department In one of our large cities, and announced that he hail a se rious ea.-eof mail depredation, to report, which he would like to have investiga ted immediately. Being requested to give the particulars of tho matter, he produced from Ids pocket a letter ad dressed to himself, and post-marked with the name of a small town in the State of Pennsylvania. The envelope bore unmistakable evidence of having been opened and r'.i-siltl, ami the ad dress was in a lady's handwriting. " There, sir," said he, carefully re moving the letter, and handing the en velope to the agent for inspection, "that 'ere letter's been robbed by some post olllce thief of twenty-six dollars. Now 1 want you to catch him and put the screws to him give him ten years at least. I don't care for the loss of the money" (it is singular, by the way, how sublimely intiiiferent to pecuniary considerations nio.t people are who pre fer these complaints), " but I'd like to see the rascal caught." Now the agent having had considera ble previous experience in the investi gation of cases of " rilling," was quite sensible that a very nece.-sary prelimi nary to such Investigations was a thor ough knowledge of all the circumstances connected with tho alfair, and after at tentively examiiiingtbcciivolope,whlch was liberally beilauoO'With mucilage, he observed : " Well, 'sir, I will take tho memoran dum of your statement, and if it proves to be a ' posl-olHco thief,' as you tsy " " if it does, sh-! Why, who else can it be'.' Isn't the envelope to speak for itself ha-n't it evidently been torn open and gummed up agiiu? Of course it is a po-t-oflieo thief any one can see that." " Probably, sir, but I don't see it just yet. Be good enough to let me know the name or the writer of this letter." The young man hesitated, and at once his manner became confti.-ed and nervous. " I'd rather not, if it's all tho same, sir; it's a young lady, and there are peculiar circumstances about the ca.-o and in short, l don't want her name mixed up with it." " But it will be absolutely necessary, in order to make ti proper investigation, that I should know her name. Without it, I cannot undertake to do anything in the matter." The gentleman still sought for some time to avoid giving tho name of his fair friend, but at last nunimucfd it as .Miss Kinily Melville. Oilier questions followed, as to the circumstances which led to the enclosure of tho money, etc., to which tho complainant answered In an evasive, shulliing way evidently trying to conceal something of which he was secretly a-hani'-d, lYivoiving that the investigation was likely to make but slow progress1 while conducted in tills fashion, the agent observed : " My friend, my tinn is to precious to waste in drawing information from you with a corkscrew, and you may as well make up your mind either to give mo a clear and unreserved account of this transaction optoyjo eNowhere with your grievance. Now, please tell me why Miss Melville sent you (or tried to .-end to you) this m iney '."' " To pay for some broadcloth for a cloak." ' Which you were to purcha-o for her'.'" " Yes that is, which I had purchased for her." "Oh, I see tho young lady was probably hero visiting, and being tem porarily out of funds, your gallantry forced her to accept a loan eh".'" " Well, no, not exactly. Tho fact Is, I sent tho goods to her by express, tit her own request." " A ml of course, IHng an old friend" " No, not an old friend, precisely." "A relative, then".'" " No." " Ah, I see, something nearer and dearer V" " Well, yes," slid the youth with a simper, and nervously swinging his hat by tho rim as he gazed modestly on tje Hour, "we're lov engaged, 1 mean." " Perhaps shy has forgot to enclo.so the money." " No, sir I've had a letter from h"i" since, and she swears I mean she's curtain .-ho put the money la." " Perhaps, theu,"sald the agent, striv ing to express his suggestion In tho le.vt ollen-lvo way, " perhaps .?ho omit ted to eiKlo-o it." ft! " Sir, exclaimed the fond lover, roused by this Insinuation, "what do you mean? There Is no doubt whatever, sir, that she sent the money. I would stake my life on her honor." " Oh, very well, plr, excuse me no offence intended, I'm sure. But, you know, I have not the pleasure of the lady's acquaintance. By the way, how long have you known her a long time, I presume. Tho young gentleman's cinbarra-s- iiient was visibly Increased as ho replied, " About six months." " Met her In Pennsylvania, I sup pose." " Yes, that is, no-I can't fay I did." " Where did you meet her?" "Why, 1 can't say exactly don't know as I Imvc met her at all, to tell the truth." " Telling tho truth seems to be a work of time with you," remarked tho agent dryly. "Now, If you Mill be good enough to give me light about what you know of this young lady whom you propose to marry, and upon whoso hon or you are willing to stake your life.. perhaps there may be sotuo prospect of getting at the facts of this mysterious robbery, otherwise you need waste no more time in this neighborhood." " Well, if you must have it, hero it Is: You see, about six mouths ago, I (just for fun, you know) advertised for a wife, and this young lady happened to advertise for a husband about the same time, ami weaiiswered each other's advertisements. But then she wasearn e.st all on the square. Oh, yes," con tinued he, observing perhaps an Incred ulous smile on the countenance of the agent, "sho was all right wanted a husband wanted one bad. She was situated In this way : she hadn't got no father or mother, and was under the charge of a guardian, an old fellow about fifty, and she's worth about twenty thousand dollars (here his eyes glistened covetously), in her own rigid ; this guardian lie takes and puts her into a boarding-school, and intends to force her into marrying him. She'd rather have some young fellow, of course; natural, isn't it? and so she takes and advertises for a husband. So, as I was saying, 1 answered her advertisement, and she leplied to my letter, and so we gotupacoiTospondence. Now,thereain't no humbug about her; lean tell when a girl is in earnest ; I know she's all right the way she writes. So about two weeks Ago she says in a postscript to one of her letters, '1 wish you would go to Stewart's and get me live yawls of broadcloth, mid send it to me by ex press. want it for a cloak, and I will send you the money just as soon as it conies, and don't fail to let me know jttst how much it is, for I do not wi-h you to be at any expense for me.' So I went to Stewart's and got the cloth, anil sent it by express, and wrote to her and told her it was twenty-six dollars, and then she put tho money into this letter, and some darned thief in a pot-olllcc has gone anil stole it ; that's all there is about it." '" Oh, that's all !" said the agent, with dllllculty restraining the laughter which this pitiful tale of love was calculated to provoke. " Well, sir, there's no doubt that you are a very much abused Individual, and if you will call again in about a fortnight, 1 think i will be able to give you some dellnite information in regard to the matter." "Thank you, sir; only put that po-d-olllce thief in State pi-J-on, and I'll be sati-lled, I don't care about the money that is, 1 don't care so much about it ; but if 1 could get it back" " I shall do everything possible, sir; good morning." " Gooil morning, sir." Punctual at the expiration of the fort night, the victim of the heartless " post olllce robbery" presented hlni-elf to hear the result of tho Investigation. The agent by writing one or two letters, and availing himself of certain other means at his command, had in the meantime entirely satisfied himself as to the author of the " outrage," and was quite prepared for the visit. 'Good morning. Have you found out who stole my money?" " Yes, sir, I think 1 have." " 1 am glad to hear it ; did you get any of it back?" "Not a cent." " Well, I suppose he's to Stato prison by thistimo?" "Not as 1 know of; but It Is not Im possible that ho may reach that iiistitu tlon one of these days. Hero's a letter which will perhaps explain tho matter better than I can. I received it a few days since from Pennsylvania. Tho young man recognized at once his Kintly's handwriting, ami hustened to read the following: , l'r.sNsvi.VANiA, Jaminry 1", ISO-. 51 1:, . I'osr-niTlci: .Vihxrs Unit Mr, 1 Unit you hivo liooii miililnic mhiio luqulri." nhout tlmt twvnty-Klx diill.ns I msit (III u horn) to (icorni" a Widl.yoii miy t.'ll Ijlin fir m tint that Iium.I rtnth t- lmiM.'il til II llrM-rl.lss "hlitiimll.il" ovi l' rnit, Voumiy nlso t.dl him tlmt I dou'l ko ti IxMnlliin-Mlio'il as mni'li I did i nlwillril I don't Ii 'lonu imy ni'iri. toth. "h dt ma," tliotiuli I thiol. In. il'i.M. You inllil iin'iitlon, v, hlli' yon ki nhout It, tli.it wlii'ii 1 i;.'t lh.it tw.'iity tlmiwind dollars,! will mmuI him hull nf It tit lli' Mini." wny as 1 wilt Uk otlirr. Also ti ll lilm " Kvcrol Tliti'.'1 Yoiim tuily, Umii.v Mia.viM.itioi'iiuv oth.'r iimul, There wast, deep silence during the reading of this epistle In the olllco untie agent, who had considerately turned his back while the unhappy victim was learning of his wasted affection and cash. Tlio silence continued so long that the agent ut length turned to oiler what litllocoiisolatlou was in his power, Hut lie was spared tho task. The hope less young man had nolselowly depart- cd possibly lo take tho fu t tialu tor it Mil I Nil 1 rjl rmoH FIVE CENTS. Pennsylvania, possibly to mcdltato In solitude over the comparative advan tages of "love nt first slirht" and love beforo sight Wherever ho went, lie lias not returned. MRS. JONES, THE AUTHORESS. O.v one of our earliest visits to . tho llhrsU'e charm nttnchetl to the Idea of n female author became, Indeed, changed lo a horror, from which we havo never wholly recovered. Wo were requested to escort a lady to what we understood was an ordinary nodal gathering. After entering n rather small and somewhat obscure drawing-room, ealutlngjtheliost ess, and taking the proll'ered seat, we were struck with the formal arrange ment of the company. They formed an unbroken row along the walls of the room, except at one end, at which stood a table surmounted by an astral lamp ; and lit an arm-chair beside it, in a studied attitude, like one posed for a lagtiorreotype, sat a woman of masculine proportions, coarse features, and hair between yellow and red, which fell In unkempt masses down each side of her broad face. She was clad In white mus lin of an antiquated fa-hlon. Welintlced that the guests cast looks, partly of curi osity, partly of uneasiness, upon tills hiirculean female, who rolled her eves occasionally, and smiled on us all with a kind of complacent pity. Wo ven tured, amidst tho silence, to ask our neighborthe name of the gigantic tin known. She appeared extremely sur prised at the very natural question. " Why, don't you know ? We're invit ed here to meet her, nud, I le-sure you, it is a rare privilege. That is Mrs. Jones, the celebrated author of the ' Aflliinced One.'" At this moment a brisk little woman in the corner, with accents slightly tremulous, ami a man ner intended to be very nonchalant, broke the uncomfortable hush of the room. " My dear Mrs. Jones," saldshe, " as one of your earliest and most fer vent admirers, allow me to inquire if your health does not suffer from the in tense stale of feeling in which you evi dently write?" The Amazonian novel- t sighed it was funny to see that operation on so large a scale and then, in a voice so like the rougher sex that we began to think she was a man in dis guise, replied : " When I reach tho catastrophe of my stories, it is not un common for me tofaint dead away ; and, as I always write in a room by myself, it has happened more than once that I have been found stretched, miserable and cold, on the floor, wllh a lien grasp ed In my fingers, and the carpet littered Willi niaiiu-cript, blotted with tears!" The Siddonian pathos of this announce ment sent a thrill round tho circle; glances of admiration and pity were thrown upon theself-immolated victim at the shrine of letters, and other in quiries were adventured, which elicited equally impressive replies, until the psychological throes of authorship par ticularly in Ihefemalegendcr assiiined the aspect of an experience combined of epilepsy ami nightmare. Tho tragic egotism of these revelations at length overcame our patience; and, leaving our fair companion to another's escort, we stepped from the room. A thunder storm had ari-en ; the rain was pouring down in torrents; upon the footstep we encountered a very pale thin little man, with an umbrella under his arm and a pair of overshoes in his hands. As we passed, 'he addiessed us in a very meek anil frightened voice: " Please, sirs, is there a party here? " Yes." "Please, sirs, is the celebrated Mrs. Jones here?" Yes." " i'leuse, sirs, do you think 1 could step into the entry? I'm Mr. Jones." A CHARITABLE LADY. Kvr.itvnonv remembers tho famous "calico balls" so much in vogue in New York a few years ago. About the height of the fever a lady, whom we will des ignate as Mrs. N., lived in one of those streets appropriated by the aristocratic orders, and was greatly distinguished for an admirable philanthropic consid eration for her less favored fellow- creatures. Sho was tfco manageress of various excellent institutions, all having for their object the relief of legitimate distress. Her name was at the head and tail of all charities, and during the rage for calico balls, sho distinguished her self by combining canvas-back suppers with charity. Clergymen eulogized her Kven "young New York" respected her, and at her parllesdld not get drunk beforo supper, "Tho charitable Mrs X," was a passwordat the door of overy benevolent Institution In the city. Mrs. X., no doubt with tho intention of improving on tho rather worn-out Idea of the " calico ball," suggested a new form of that benevolent dlvertlssC' nient In tho shape of a " brocado ball," or, as young Now ork sacrilegiously called it, a " heavy swell hop." At this entertainment the programme of the calico ball was reversed. Instead of the ladles coming in cheap dresses, to be afterward removed for tho beuetlt of tho poor, nud tho evening terminating ,n yrtmde tenia; the female portion of 'he guests were expected to coineattired In their very best, and at twelve o'clock retire to the dressing-rooms, where they were to doll' all their silks, brocades, and Jewelry, and a-stime some very In expensive attire provided beforehand. Tho cast-off attlro was to bo sold for the benellt of a benevolent Institution which Mrs. X. was about starting, and so reali.o a much more considerable sum than the most liberal calico balls. The idea met with approbation. Mrs. X.'.s rooms were crowihd. Ladies n ho nnpflinrp.niinftrtliwlntctlloin ...,... 1 tA Kuril !ilifiiKiil InMirtloii lm limii thirteen, One fviunro cue moiitB 2 M 'Uwo " ' 3 Ml Ihrco " " 6C Pour " " 1 (iO llnlf i-Miimli " low One column " 15(0 i:.xttitor'8 nnd Admlnlf imtor'n Xoll ,1 w) Auditor' Moilcr i ,) niltorln! Notices twrnly rents ir line. Other ndVortlsi'inciits liutrtitl nccolilllig to 8rr claU'olltlnct. had credit nt largo establishments vied with each other In brocatles and oma mentsi Ono lady Wore it sot of sapphires valued at a thousand dollar?. Charity, winged with vanity, poared to the sev enth heaven of benevolence. But, nla.s for human nature! when a week or so had passed, nnd the excitement of being fashionably merciful had subsided, whis pers began to be heard. Ono lady heard from a maid-servant, whom Mrs. X. had discharged, that that lady was in consid erable pecuniary difficulties. Another traced a splendid moire antique dress, which sho had worn on that occasion, to costumier's; and a Jeweller was acci dentally discovered, who stated that Mrs. X. had offered lilm a set of sap phires In part payment of her bill. Charity's wings, like thof-o of Icarus, suddenly melted, and tho poor benevo lent angel tumbled into tho lowest gulf of fashionable contempt. Mrs. X. ro tired from active charity. STRONG CHARACTERS. STKKNOTir of character consists of two things power or will nnd of self restraint. It requires two things, there fore, for its existence, strong feelings and Strong command over them. Now, it is here that we make a great mistake; wo mistake strong feelings for strong char acter. A man who bears all before him. beforo who.-e frown domestics tremble, and whose bursts of fury make tho chil dren of the household quake; because he has his will obeyed, and his own way in all thing-', wo call him a strong man. The truth is that lie Is the weak man; it Is his passions that are strong; ho, mustered by them, is Weak. "ou must measure the strength of a man by the power of tho feelings ho subduesj not by the power of those which subduo him. And iienco composure is very often tlio highest result of strength. Did we never see a man receive a llag- rant insult and only grow a littlo pale, and then reply quietly? That is a man spiritually strong. Or did wo never seo :i man in anguish .stand, as if carved of solid rock, mastering himself? Or bear ing a hopeless daily trial remain silent, and never tell the world what cankered his homo peaeo? That is strength, llo who, with strong passions, remains chaste; he who, keenly sensitive, with many powers of indignation in him can bo reproved, and yet restrain himself, and forgive; these are the strong men, the spiritual heroes. TO HOUSEKEEPERS AND OTHERS. Ax nrtlcle in a late nuinbcrofan Eng lish magazine, on tlio subject of Iho fracture of polished glass surfaces, says : "It is a fact known to the philosophical instrument makers, tlmt if a metal wire be drawn through a glass tube, a few hours afterward the tube will burst into fragments. Tho annealed glass tubes ti-ed fur tho water guages of steam boil ers arc sometimes destroyed in this way, after the act of forcing a piece of cotton waste through them with a wire, for tho purpose of cleaning tho bore. This will not happen if a piece of soft wood is em ployed. The Into Andrew ltois in formed mo that on one occasion, late in the evening, lie lightly pushed a pieco of cotton wool through a number of ba rometer tubes with a pieco of cane, for the purposo of clearing out any particles; of dust. Tito next morning ho found most of the tubes broken up into small fragments, the hard siliceous coating of the cane proving asdestructive tishe had previously known the wire to be." In these times, when glass lamp-chimneys. are in such wido use, it is of no littlo im portance that this fact should be mado known. Thou-andsof persons who havo been in the habit of using wires, table- forks, and a variety of metallic tirtlclii in the washing of tlieso chimneys will, in the above slated fact, find, tho reason of their chimneys snapping lo pieces un the lamp. NOVEL COAT-OF-ARMS. Tiiniu; Is in New York a gentleman of amplo fortune, which ho received by inheritance. His wife recently ordered a now carriage, and was anxious that tho "family" coat-of-arms should bo emblazoned upon its panels. This tho husband consented to, and taking a pen tlio millionaire drew something resem bling a small mound; by it was stuck a manure fork, and upon tho fork was perchedaehantlcleer, rampant. " Why, what Is this ?" a.-ked madam, In amaze ment. " This," said tlio man of money, " isour family coat-of-arms. Mygrand father made his money carting manuro In Brooklyn, and In vested it in renlestalo, in New urk. Now listen to tlio ex planation of tho arms. This mound ami fork represent my grandfather's occupa tion ; tlio cock perched upon tho top of tlio fork represents myself, who havo done nothing but Hap my wings and crow on that dunghill ever since." Tho carriage slill has plain panels. Ax exchange says that within a mouth after the opening of tho New York Inebriate .Asylum over fifteen hundred applications were made by wealthy parents for tho admission of thelrr daughters, who had contracted bad habits of Intemperance from thu use of wines and liquors at fashionable parties. 'I'm: Harpers havo Just published "Felix Holt, tho Radical," tho last, and In many respects the l't novel of tlio talented authoress of " ltomola." To cure a felon Suspend by the ucel; fur about half an hour, ayfl-lutu rU.