Newspaper Page Text
im 6j- V - r , ,. k.-tcKW. .- HE REGISTER. KATES OJU'ADVEKTiSINU. -,"" THE IOLA REGISTER - ,)H3hi. "!- " V In. iPDBLISHED"EVERY SATURDAY. MOM 13 uu jaoo 23 ft) 330l 6000 ALLISON & PERKINS, I'CBLumuts. 109 00 IOLA, ALLEN COUNTY, KANSAS. EJ-Transient and Legal advertisements mnst be paid for in advance. Local and Special Notices, 10 cents a Use. All letters in relation to business in any way connected with tne otBce should be addressed to the Publishers and Proprietor. Alluoy & PxxKcn. TERMS TWO UOLLARS I'ER YKAIt. VOLUME IX. IOLA, ALLEN COUNTY, KANSAS,' JANUARY 30, 1875. NO. 5. OimCXAXi PAPER OF COUNTY. srACx..,. lT.iw.lt.1 m..S m.16 m. linen.... II 00 11 $1 15 00 i Solid Sincll.... 130 IS 330 300 6 M 10 51 3 inch.... tOO 301 301 709 SSOUOIl tinea.... B0 4 00 C St 10 OOJU 00 17 SO iiCol.... 3 30 351 S30 U00 13 0U .3 0. XCol.... 6S0 10 00ISOOini70VJSOt 1 Col.... 10 00.15 CO il 00 J7 W. W Ot Ol Br, . . ll J1' . V t t . & i f f ST- - ) - V -, ! r PusinessPtrectori). COUNTY OFFICERS. JIon.-JR Goodin,.... District Judge X F Acer Probate Juilire Win Thrasher , County Treasurer IILV Xccdhani County Clerk w.ji unmii, negisieroi utcus . J II Kichards County Attorney C M Simpson Clerk District Court J EBnin Mlnenntendent Iulilic Schools J L Woodin Sheriff j.vnun unoaues, i surveyor A W Howland, ..., Commissioners v uornue. j Isaac Iioneurale, ', J CITY OFFICERS. W C Jones Mayor 1L Lowe Police Judge John raxsr-n, i s I Maubcr. I, Walker. .Councilmen C M Kinrpson, E X Yates. won, I a. J L L Xorthnm. Treasurer Clerk Marlial .Assistant Marshal II W Taleott, J X Woollome, C I liriggs,.. . CHURCHES. I , . METHODIST EPISCOPAL. 'Corner of Jefferson avenue and Broadway St. Services every Sabbath at luj a. m. and 7 p. in. Pra;er meeting Thursday evenings at 7 p. in. II. K. Mltu, Pastor. PRESBYTERIAX. Corner Madison avenue and Western street. Services 10J a. in. and? p. m. Sunday School at 9f a. m. J. W. Piskekton, Pastor. BAPTIST. On Sycamore street. ServiceseverySabbathat 10; a. in. and 7 p.m. Prayer meeting on Thurs day evening. Church meeting at 2 p. m. on Saturday before the first Sabbath in each month. Sabbath School at 12 o'clock m. C. T. Flotd, Pastor. Secret Societies. PATRONS OF HUSBANDRY. OFFICERS OF THE ALLEX CO. GRANGES. COVXTV COVXCIL. John VanRiiier, Master,. KL Moore, secretary,. - -D U Allen, County Agent,. POSTOFF1CE .lola ..Humboldt tola DEER CREEK OR.1.VGE. B L Dreman, Master, . .Oarljle J U Jordan, secretary, ... . . Carl vie DIAMOXD GRAXGE, J Martin, Master, . ...KItealietlitnwn G L smith, Secretary ..fclizabcthtown err CRESCEXTVLLEi' GRAXGE J VanRiper,Master,f.. IoU J CKUso, Sicrubiry,. Humboldt , ELM CREEK GRAXGE. C A Dowd, Master, . . . . lola J Delaplain, Secretary, -t lola ELSIXORE GgAXGE. J W Douahoc, Aa-ter, M Stout, Secretary,. ...Elsinore Llsinon IMPERIAL GRAXGE. LCMunger, Master, S Young, Secretary, lola lola IXDVSTRIAL GRAXGE. Master, Tola .lola Ales atraubcmuiler, secretary,. IOLA GRASGE. U Cook, Master, Sallie Lackens, secretary. lola lola BETHEL GRAXGE. -, Mi-ter, .Id Ii. JedJo J T Sproul, Secretarj , XEOSIIO VALLEY GRAXGE. X Ilankins, Mister, .. . .... Jas Woodin, Secretarj, .Ifila lola MAPLE GROVE GRAXGE. JAGSaley, Master... Humboldt V. L Moore, Secretary. .. . ..Humboldt MAYFLOWER GRAXGE. W E Hylbrook, Master, I" Knowltou, Secretarj ,. Geneva Geneva ODEXSE GRAXGE. It V Blair, Master. S P isborg, Scrrttary O.len-f Oilenn ROCK HILL GRAXGE. A Cosine, Master, . . E Lone, sccrctar, lola loin OIVL CREEK GRAXGE. ICCnppy, Mister .1 Lansighot, Secretary, .numboldt Ilumbolill IOLA LODGE, NO. 38, A. F. &. A Masons meets on the first and thinl Saturdays in eery month Unethnn in good standing are iimted toattepd 31 DeMOv,, W 3r . J. X. White, Sec'y. IOLA LODGE, NO. 21, I O. of Odd Fel- lowsholdtheir regular meetings eiery lues 'ilav eening. in their hall, next door north ol the post office. Visiting nreinrcn in gooa stanuing, are inviieii (o anenu JOHN EVERUEAUT, X. G. J S CcjmrvGS, Sec'y. . Dotcls. LELAND HOUSE. XT n A VCHOFT. Pmiirietor. IOLA.Kansvs Xl. Thi house has been thoroughly repaired aim rc!ltte! and is now" the most desirable place in the r:tv for tnnelers to stop. Xopams will lie fparcd to nuke the guests ol the lo-iatui itei ai home. Baggage transferreil to and from Depot free of rliarge. attornet)5, IL W. TALCOTT, A TTOttXKY AT Llff. IoU. Allen conntv. X Kansas. Olhcc on Madisonavenue, one door -castor vt m. Davis, casesiieroreanyorinecouns of the State wili recerte careful attention. All collections prompt! remitted. NELSON F. ACERS, - A TTORXEY AT LAW, lola, Allen county, X Kansas; Has the only full and complete set uf Abstracts of Allen county. . J. C MnniAV J. 11. Kwh "iJ. County Attorney. MURRAY & RICHARDS, ATTORXE S .VXD COUNSELORS AT LAW. Money in Minis from Wjo 00 to 3.1,0 () oo l.MnciI on long tune umn lniirovel Forms -iu Allen, Anderson, Woodson, and Neosho coun ties. 21Ii5ccllniicouo. 31. DeMOSS, 31. D., OFFICE over Jno. Francis & Co.'s Drag Store Residence on Washington aenue, aid daor s;u:h Ne isho street. IL A. NEEDHAJl, COUNTY CLl'.RK. Conveyancing carefully dane, and acknowledgements taken. Maps uid plans neatly drawn. D. F. GIVENS, WATCHMAKER, JEWELER, AND CLOCK Rcjairer, ai the postoflice, tola, Kansas, ijlocks, Watciies and Jewelr-, iromptly and neatly repaire-l and warranteil. A fine assort inent of Clocks, Jewelry, Gold pens and other fancy articles, winch will be sold cheip. . DR. S. TOZER, D iENTAL SURGEON, Is now prepared to 1 attend to Drntistrv in all Its iliflerent forms. in the lateat and most avnrovrxl Style: the best of liiaterial umsl, and general satisfaction guaran teed. Also a sure cure for Sore Mouths. Charges as reasonable as elsewhere. OOlce over John Francis' store. . J. II THORP, BARBER-SHOP on Washington avenue first dorwulhori,.L.XorlluTip'a. Wood, Gaol, X-oUtces. fum mj HK-kory Nuts taken in ex ilungefjrwck. . M A CHAPTER OF THE WESTERN WAND ERINGS OF A TYPO. DY SOLITAIRE. An adventure among the Officials. Our hero spent about two months in the Queen City, when the desire to move, again attacked him, and under the im pulse, he shaped his course for the Hoos ier State, alone and on foot. He was in that peculiar state of mind aud pocket which calls forth all the coolness and wisdom of the philosopher and to strengthen him on the journey he called up to mind all those illustrious examples of his craft who had entered towns bare foot, and afterwards rose to distinction several of whom now figured conspic uously on the stage of public action. Trudging along thus now stopping by the roadside to rest and muse, again plodding onward, now weary and despon ding, again cheered on by the carolling of the wood songster, he would flourish his stafl in sovereign contempt for care, whistle "While you are young you should " be cav" and fixing his hat tighter on his brow, step on again with a Republican stride. Earth had on her finest livery, and the rich foliage of the western forest fluttered in the eentle breeze, which also fanned the brow of the solitary wanderer as he toiled up a rising hill in his pathway. On reaching the brow of this eminence, he looked down upon a flourishing vilage which lay in the valley before him and his spirits rose as he gazed Upon the national flag invitingly fluttering from the top of a snug looking hotel. -"Huzza for the old striped bunting!" shouted John, "there is luck wherever it waves supreme, and if I don't come upon a streak of fat soon to recompense me for my long lean one I have had, then 'republicans are ungrateful' and I shall join the aristocracy, and declaim against them." The villajie npon which John was gazing, was at that particular period the scene of unusual commotion, anxious expectation, and great excitement eve ry individual was on tiptoe about some thing. The porch of the hotel va occupied by a group of leading citizen of the town, among whom was the Postmaster, the Squire, the Parfon, a distinguished physician, a member of t':e bar and sundry smaller dignitaries attached to the official stations at the oounty seat. The blacksmith every now and then quitting his forge, would step out of the door, wipe the sweat off his brow, take a long, searching look up the road, and then returning, pound away at the heated iron with terrible energy. The popular shoemaker was leaning out of his window, looking earnestly in the same direction as his neighbor the girls were peepiug through their windows in a s a'.c of expectancy, and the young bucks of the town dressed in their best, were flirting about in sight of the fair inhabitants or clustering in group directly opposite the abode of certain village beauties, while the morejuver.ile portion of the community were throwing up dust in the streets and huzzying in a most animated and enthusiastic manner in short, the town was on the eve of a great occasion. The member of Congress from that district was expected to par take of a public dinner on that day, at the principle hotel at the town of 31 in the State of Indiana, and his constitu ents had prepared to cive him a hearty reception on his return heme, for the able maimer in which he had defended their interests. He was expected every moment, and of course the place was big with anticipation. John wended his way down the street unnoticed, but observed everything his keen eye discovered in the general commotion, not only matter of interest, but high promise there was evidently -omething "out," for the throbbing town the fluttering banner and the anxious aroups betrayed it Entering the hotel w"ie.e t! p principle citizens were assem bled John mingled with the throng in the bar-room and listened to learn the cause of the gathering. How did his heart swell within him (for it had plenty of room) when he heard that a public dinner was on the tapis a real bonafide dinner of fishf flesh and fowl, with an abundance of good liquor. John deter mine to search out the location of that town on the mip, and mark it down as possessing a highly civilized community! The landlord's son, an urchin about six years of age, who was ever now and then running into the hall and back into the street, liuaahi;: at every termina tion of his race, running against every body, and cutting all sorts of antics he appeared to have "cut" hit comrades in the street, and was going the enthusiastic on his own hook, as if fully impressed with the honors desending upon his father's house him our hero fixed upon to learn particulars, and siezing him as he was going into the hall, asked him who was comin there to dinner that day. "He! why don't you know? I guess you are -a feller of the other party. It's the Governor that's comin" and off dashed the young republican. An alarm drew the crowd in the bar room out to the porch, bar-keeper and all, a citizen having left his glass on the counter untaxed, while he went to see the matter of interest outsideJohn took a taste of the contest by way of a priming, to nerve him for future contin gencies, and strolled quietly out to the rear of the house, where he discovered a shoe blacker, and he stuck up his dusty pedal extremeties, and authorilively ordered him to brush them Up. The darkey obeyed, and a wash at the puinf afterwards, brought out John's genius bright as a new dollar to use his own expression he was a. full cote and printed copy. While he was arranging his cra vat at a glass in the sitting room, a shout rent the air, which made the very win dows rattle again. "Huzza!" And dashing down to the hotel, came a bar ouche containing the guest, with the Judge of the district, a member of the Legislature, and a county clerk "Huz za!" shouted the villagers, and "huzza !" shouted our hero bang! went a little swivel at the upper end of town white waved the ladies' handkerchiefs and high swelled the heart of a nations' statesman. At that exciting moment, the Indiana representative loomed up upon the public eye most majestic Clay was no where; Polk was not thought of; Webster was not a patch ing, and Van Buren was small potatoes the only comparison to the reuowned representative was Washington or Old Hickory. The signal was now given and in poured the subscribers to the dinner, with their guest and in poured John 'on his own hook.' The dinner room shook with applause as the member took his seat. The Judge presided on the occa sion, and after a blessing by the parson, there was a general set-to at the viands. We need not enter into particulars as to how the eatables hioked or how they were eaten. Suflke it that they were choice aud plentiful, and were properly appreciated by fli company as they speedily cleared the table. The host on this occasion the happy host stood behind the chair uf the representative, as if for the great man to get through, so he might wipe his i:i ut!i and hands for inm. llie entnus: imii anu tne liquor had set the host's fa o in a glow, and he looked as if he felt the greatness of the occasion, and he s.iicl he didn't care if they devoured everything in the house; .ie was repaid by the honor; indeed he didn't know that he had anything to live for after that day ; it was the crowning period of his career. John happy John was actually devastating every thing within his reach he had not had such a chance for days, aye weeks and like Dugald Ddlgetty he not only enjoyed the present, but carefully laid up a little provision for the future. He laughed at all jests within hearing, and scattered his own with unusual bril liancy. The period had now arrived for the toasts and speeches, for the feast of rea son aud the flow of liquor. Aftcrthe regulars were drank the county clerk gained the floor, and after a few perti nent remarks, wherein he dwell upon how the nation, and Indiana in particu lar, had been rescued by their represen tative, he proposed the following : "Our representative Charles Stumper Esq. the pure patriot of Indiana may the nation's gratitude yet make him the nation's head.'l Amid the plaudits which followed Chasles Stumper Esq. bowed his head as if that head were already a national crowning-piece and swallowed aspoonful of cold water he rose from his seat with a dignity befitting his august station. We have not room to give his speech in detail it was of course, great. It couldn't be anything else ! when he finr ished by saying that "hereafter body bones, blood and all were devoted to their service." A shout went up that shook the town of 31. like a small earthquake. Before he took bis scat he offered the following compliment: "The town of 31. while its citizens have an existence the country is safe !" By a loud shout the citizens of 31. proclaimed that they would save the country. During these enthusiastic proceedings, our hero by his urbanity, wit and good humor had won a host of friends around him. and considerable curiosity was,) manifested tu know who he was ; but no one seemed to be able to give a satisfac tory reply. Some said he was the con- gri siian's most particular friend; others went so far as to intimate that be was another congressman in disguise indeed it was whispered that he was a Senator incog. "Hold on tellers!" said one of the citizens "jest hold your hosses; hell come out directly; there's somethin more in that fellow than's on the out side!" s All seemed to agree with his sage opinioofand held their "hosses" accord ingly. At length a pause occurring as agreed upon with the editor of the coun ty paper, the principal lawyer of the town toasted "The Press; the guardian of republican libcrtj !" This toast was offered,, to afford the editor a chance to deliver a speech which he had prepared for the occasion ; but before he could clear his throat and get upon his legs, John had gained the floor, and in a clear tone, called the attention of the table. Here was a subject upon which John was at home he knew the press "like a book," and with easy manner and consu mate assurance he opened upon the great subject of it power. As be proceeded, all eyes dilated ! He pictured its prog ress from its earliest advent its days of weakness, until its present wide-spread power and influence. He grew eloquent and at lengh wound up with the follow ing flourish : "To the press, gentlemen, we owe all the astonishing achievments of modern times they are the fruits of its power. It was the press which in the iron age unshackeled the mind of man and gave free scope to his intellect taught him to soar over the elemental fields which gird him about, and search into the sources of his own being, the cause which produces the great harmony in nature, and taught him how to draw from those causes, effect calculated to promote his happiness sent him forth upon the great field of discover', and spreading forth his achievments to the world, drew forth the might of mind to bis aid, and having led him to subdue the very lightning to his will, has its aid in scattering intelligence broadcast through the earth. It is not merely the euardian of liberty it is its creator A- the sun is to the solar system, so is the press to human society eclipse either, and man is left in darkness more dreadful than annihilation." Applause long and load greeted his closing words; even the ladies looked through the windows of the hotel from the porch, and joinedin the tokens ol satisfaction. And now more eagerly than ever the question was propounded, "Who is he?" None knew. But all were loud in his praise, and honors were showered so thick upon him that he hardley knew what he was about every body wished to drink with him, and he drank with everybody. Order was called; and for the toast he gave "the ladies of 31 if Heaven should blot out the stars, we should not discover their loss while surrounded by their bright eyes." The glory was so unexpected, th huzzas so deafning and the liquor so pungent that John lost his compass and began to beat about wild. Some one said he would make a first rate stump speaker ; and to prove his capability, he commenced a political speech sail mishap! Sad because he forgot which side he should be on, commenced a most scathing tirade against the very party he was feasting with. He had so won on their good opinion that they, listened to him patiently for a while; but pa tience soou melted away: 'Turn him out was shouted from all sides of the table the editor of the county paper was most vchement'for turning him out ; for John had cut him out of his speech on the press. "Turn him out!" shouted the editor, 'he's a base spy iu the camp." John in a moment saw his fatal error and felt happy that it did not occin until dinner was over he felt too that he had made au impression, and fd proud that it was not through any com his ability and will nuess, and thein!el nrouiisc of principle that he had tas e ' I igence spread through the town like a promise ihoir hnsnitalitv and t-howed them li was an opponent still. All that now rt mained was to beat a dignified retreat ; and rising with some difficulty erect, la said "Gentlemen when I cn-(hick)-tered this assembly I thought (hick) I was. among oreinren, nut iuck; j. iouhu i was deceived, and that I have been somewhat con(hick)-taminated through error, so (hick) with your permission 1 will withdraw and repent. I will no long-(hick hick) longer be one of you but go forth to breathe a free air." At this moment he raised his hat to place it on his head with a flourish, when out dropped half a chicken with two dough-nuts that he had stowed away for a lunch. Their falling just" at that particular moment bothered John and to leave them there bothered him still worse ; but to pick them up was too humiliating he scorned the action ; since they would fall, why there let them lie, he would none of them. "Old feller?" said a Hoosier citizen "You'd better pick up your chicken fix ins before you go." "Never '"'shouted John indignantly, "I should despise my-(hick)sclf if I car ried off the spoils of the enemy. You and your fragments may go to tne deuce." A yell followed the retreat whica would have shaken the nerves of Cario lanus; but they steadied our hero's, and calm and composed he strode through the door leading from the dining room. The county editor siezed the c hicken and the dongh-nuts and hurled them alter him; when John coolly closed the door, picked up the indignities, put them in his hat aud departed. Taking the main road leading through thetown he turned his back upon the late fes tivities. As he again plodded onward he might be heard ejaculating, "Well tron' that a streak of fat t What a dinner! Fit for the gods, as 1 m a gentleman ! rather funny at the last, but at the commencement, and through the continuation was conducted with states man like skill ; and after all, the wind ing up was but an agreeable little inter lude." As John crept into a barn that night some few miles from the town of 31 and strstcbedhims-'lf upon the straw to sleep off the glories of the day, he quiet ly murmered to himself "Well here goes for another streak of lean." John' Editorial Career.-' In our hero's pereginations he wandered into the suck- er State the country of vast projected railroads, good corn dodger, splendid banking houses and poor currency ; and during his progress he earned and howled one hundred and fifty bonafide dotiara. With this amount of wealth jingling in his pocket, he entered the town of B . He did not now come as a needy advedt urer, but the holder of one hundred and fifty considerations of respect. The World had taken a wider range to his eye, and assumed a new aspect, or rather he saw it with a clearer vision ; for the common orders of society appeared now as plain as daylight to have most vilan ous faces and the respectability of wealth was as apparent as moonshine. He could now easily assign reasons for the defer ence paid to high station. In short he bad arrived at a state of feeling highly becoming the possessor of increased wealth. Addressing the inkeeper who was a member of one of the 'first' fami lies, with an air of consequence, he de manded an entire room for his accommo dation, when heretofore the third chance in a bed with him had been considered a luxury oriential in its character, and a blessing befitting a 'three tailed bashaw.' This town was an important one, as all Sucker towns arc, yet this arrival was sufficient to throw it into an excitement from one end to the other. His acquain tance with the inkeeper, he got an intro duction to the member of the Legisla ture from that district, and this'opening soon made him intimate with the town Many efforts were made by the citizens to "draw him out" and learn his busi ness; but John kept dark. "He is a close feller," said a Sucker citizen, "but I rccon atcr all, his business ispollytics." These and sundry other ambiguous giv- ings out, assured our hero that he was a subject of general interest. "What is polities" was an important question in political circles; and "was he married?" and "whod get him if he won't?'' was equally a matter of absorbing interest among the ladies. Indeed, a discussion at to claims to his preference, bad caused a coolness between seeral pairs of de voted female friends. It was said that Miss A the merchant's pretty daughter absolutely walked down the street before our hero swinging the skirt of her dress most attractively. Such a bold and forced move to take him by surprise, liefore any other maid should have a chance, was declared at a tea and gossip party most intolerable, and not to l endured. At leng.h his object was made known. He enquired of the legi Iative member if that was a good point to estabish a p iper, and us soon as his sruprise would permit, he declared it to be an immense place ; indeed an enormmts location ; and more than that, the material for such an establi-hn.ent was in town, had been in operation, and all it wanted was an edi tor to conduct the paper. John signifie 1 prairie fire, and smie pretty noses turned iti as their owners exclaimed 'Why I swuw, Iro's only a printer after all." The member for the district, a long lank, cadaverous lawyer, who was death on a speech, powerful on tobacco, and some at whiskey tlrinkinr, was part owner of the printing establishment, and had an opponent who had started a paper in a lower town on the river to oppose him, he was most anxious to get the press going; so assuring John, that he could have it at his own terms, and 150 subscribers tj con.njnce with, which of course must swell to a thousand, they proceeded to examine the establishment. It was at last agreed that our hero should give 12o of his 159 dollars in cash, and his note for 430 dollars more, payable at the end ot the year, besides fifty dollars rent fur the office, which also belonged to h ' lawyer. A meeting of the 'first citizens' of the town was held on the ensuing evening, to which John Eail Esq was introduced as the new editor of the B Eajle and a recommencement of lh?. p ipjr duly discussed. "Yout'ne hearn tell of the Bank and Tariff question V inquired a Ieadiug constituent and subscriber. John answered "yes he was somewhat acquainted with them." Well lioss we expect you to be right cochunk up to the hub on them er,ques tions, and pour into the inimy in slash ergaff style." John agreed to do his purtiest. "In the town below us," continued the constituent, "that's a feller of the inimy dead bitter agin us and our town ; so you must gin him scissors ! rile him up and set his liver workin ! cause the skunk is injurin our location. Advertis our do ins injineral, sich as we've got to sell and throw yourself wide on the literery poetry for the eals and 3Ir. Earl, if yon do this jinteclly and with spirit, the whole town will take the piper! Dan't forgit te gin the'town below, particular saltpetre." John gave them to understand that if his subscribers wished it, he would not only cut up the editor; but throw the lower town into a oeries of fits which would cause its utter dissolution. All being duly settled our hero retired to his room to dream of future greatness. Already did he behold sheets filled with editorial tact and talent already his name inscribed on the mil with illustri ous cotemporaries Ritchie. Blair, Chan dler, Prentice and Neale those great names of the tripod tribe already num bered him on their list, aud he imagined his name growing great in the mouths of the wisest censors, while his pockets were correspondingly corpulent as tl e reward for such ability. Poor fellow! could he have drawn aside the curtain and beheld the days of toil, the struggle to procure ink and paper, and the labor of writing editorials, Betting them up and working them off at press, pasting up the mail, and the scanty reward to repay this drudgery, he would have kicked ambi tion out of his company and clutched his little hoard like a vice. The town of B and the town below had been' rivals ever since they were first laid out upon a map the growth of one had always been the envy of the other, and an improvement in one was sure to be imitated by the other. The lowest town had been most successful in the publication of a newspaper, for the reason that they paid something to sup port it, while the other town ot B suffered for the neglect they manifested toward the press. The editor below not only abused the religion, politics, mer chandise and intelligence of B but the beauty of the women and the smart ness of the babies; he had even gone so far as to say that B women and babies could be known by their heads. This was an outrage most unpardonable, and -John rose in estimation as their de fender against such vandal accusations. Behold John seated scratching out his first editorial ! Ah, ye weavers of cheap literature, who hat e watched with aching curiosity the appearance of your first production ye writers of small poetry for daily journals, who have listened so eagerly for praise ye penny editors who have successfully tickled the popular ear- -ye rulingdeitiesof mammoth week lies, what are all your feelings, concen trated iu one great throb, in comparison to the mighty throes of talent awaking from her sleep in the mind of John Earl. It would have shocked the lower town like a volcano, had they but known the expletives our hero was tracing on the sheet before him. Goths and Vandals, corruption and spoilsmen, traitors and apostates, polluting vipers, poisonous demagogues, and a host more, bitter as sin, were showered like hail from ids pen when giving "particular goss" to the lower town editor and his abettor. With the appearance of the first num ber our hero's consequence began to rise, the respectable citizens took him cordially by the hand and their daughters smiled upon him, while the poorer inhabitants wondered at his "larnin'." "A most excellent first number," said the lanky member, "a good quanity of hot shot just the thing sew the loner town up you've got prodigious talents immense!" John bowed to the pleasing flattery. "Well, hoss," said the storekeeper constituent and subscriber, "you've slashed the hide offen that fellar in the lower town, touched his raw and rumpled his leathers that's the way to give him jessy. I rainy Deueve youu gei your self into the legislator afore long, ef you keep on." Our hero listened to these first breath ings of fame with a swelling bosom there was a chance of his becoming some body at last, and labor became a pleas ure when it produced such a yield. it a public meeting called in town he was elected secretary, and ventured on the occasion to make a speech, which was loudly applauded and in the next number of the Eagle appeared a glowing detail of the proceedings, with a synop sis of his own speech. This awoke some jealousy in the mind of the lanky mem ber, who thought John wished to sup plant him. As time progressed the Etgle increased its subscription to two hundred, its editor grew popular and in debt, and received nothing from his subscribers indeed he soon discovered that pay made up no part of their pat ronage, and he" began to grow tired of laboring for glory alone. All this time the war was waging hotter and thicker between the two towns and theireditors. At length he of lower town inserted in his Patriotic Herald and Telegraph the following: "jsyWe are informed from good authority that the Buzzard of the Eagle cannot pay his board bill, and fears are entertained that he will slope without paying the debt." This was personal everybody said it was personal the lanky member said it must be wiped out with the blood the storekeeper swore that John must eat the other fellar's gizzard and the ladies of j resolved at a tea party that the death of the lower town editor could alone atone for the many indignities he had heaped upon them,. and John was the very man to offer himself up as sacrifice. All the subscribers to the Eagle were interested in the matter for they would gain in any event, as bow : if the lower town editor was removed, an enemy had perished ; if John fell a cred- tors accounts were closed : so they were unanimous for a duel. The lanky mem ber informed John of the general opin ion of the public as to what he should do and urged the tending of a challenge forthwith, which he offered to bear. John intimated that he must have a day or two practice before he sent the missive, and this was acceded to as prudent, bt bnwie knives were recommended by his friend as much the safest and sure means ot killing. Our hero seated himself in the Eagle office that night where the ghost of his departed greatness visited his waking thoughts, to laugh at his present misery. Of his one hundred and fifty dollars, but twenty-five remained his clothes were nearly worn out his board bill unpaid; his subscriptions and advertisements ditto, and the supply of paper and ink were insufficient for another issue besides a duel on his hands with another poor devil of an editor, and the whole town thirsting for the bloody struggle. A thought flashed through his brain he would so nd see his antagonist No sooner was the idea conceived than he put it into execution. Gathering up his remaining twenty-five dollars be set off in the night for the lower town, where he arrived about daylight. After a hasty breakfast at the inn, he entered the Herald office, and seating himself upon the only chair in the establishment, be inquired for the editor. A little pale man engaged at the ease lav down his composing stick and advanced, expecting a new subscriber, but started. to run as soon as he was informed that the editor of the Eagle was before him. John stop ped his egress and made him sit down while be talced to bim. A conversation brought on mutual apologies, ami he found his antagonist as great a sufferer as himself the mere hack of selfish poli ticians, who had been lured by some phantom greatness, until he had worn himself to a corresponding shadow, chbsing the vision. The two typo edi tors shook bands aud our hero departed homeward. On John's arrival he encountered the member, who urged the immediate dis patch of the challenge, which John re fused, aud to his refusal added some words of contempt for the citizens of B. anJ their representative in particular. This aroused the member, who declared that cowardice had driven him over to the enemy. To prove the falsehood of this assertion, John knocked the mem ber down and kicked his honor most indignantly. The editor of the Eagle was well aware that after this outbreak he must "break for tall timber," so cook ing a small dish of pie in his .office, he bequeathed this feast to 'his successor, and leaving" his- subscription list and interest in the concern to pay his debts, he beat a hasty retreat. As he hurried through the woods skirting the river the welcome puff f a steamer saluted his ear, and waving Lis handkerchief as a signal, she slopped, landed a boat and took him on board. Farewell to B , its dreams of great ness bad faded to a mist, and instead of growing honor, .ewuJument and renown it had yielded sought but the fruit of bitterness, accompanied with toil and care, the end of which was a toll back to the bottom of the hill lie had fancied Already climbed. The greatof the earth will smile at his troubles, happy for him his disposition would only permit them to cause a momentary sadness. As the steamer receded from the scene of his lata vexation and care, he began to rejoice iu his freedom, and in a light- hearted mood paced the deck an untram meled candidate for the new future. Bright dreams of the future came again, and what a blessing it is that a .lonely adventurer in this world is permitted to dream, for, with a vivid imagination fae may revel in dreams which waking real ity can never equal. Let us return a moment to B . All there, as may be supposed, was a scene of confusion, indignation and horror at the outrage inflicted upon the member he had absolutely been kicked! A war rant was issued for John, and then it was discovered he had sloped more indignation! The editor of the lower town still lived, and the member had been kicked horror ! The office of the Eajle was in pi and the editor was turn at here was capital for the lower towu editor. He charged them with starvintr the editor, and wound up by asserting that the town of B - produced noth ing but pusillanimous men, ugly women and pug-nosed babies. The glory of departed, while the lower town swelled into vast importance, and its editor received a present of two new shirts, besides three spirited subscribers paid him a dollar each, of their four years subscription, a stretch of liberality so astounding that to this day the event forms one of the most interesting legends of the sucker State. The following remarks fling a calcium light upon the subject of dyspepsia: "Nitrogeneous substances excite the se cretios of the gastric juices. The non iiitrogtneous, especially those of a fatty nature, determine the production of a iaigd quantity of saline serosities, deriv ed by exosmosis from the capillaries of the mucous lining of the stomach." Yea, just so. Economy is getting fashionable again. The estimated reduction of expense during the past year waa aver $400,000. Another year- of simitar eeonosay wilt put the country on a sound basis. Mils Kellogg says that American girls have the sweetest voices in the world. When one of them puts her month to a hole in the fence and "holler" to the girl next door to "fetch baek theu crimping irer," it fills th.?, air with, melody. .