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QXJ i-V 4 THE REGISTER. RATES OF ADVERTISING. THE IOLA REGISTER. STACK.. linen.. Sinch.. 3 inch.. 4 inch.. Col.. XCol.. 1 Col.. 1 W.IS W. t w. t aa.i3 m.16 ra. II n. PUBLISHED EVERY SATURDAY. i oo 1st 50 i oust uojii oiiias asliw no 1 501 3 B 3 SO 5 00 6 50 IV 00 7M850UOU 151 I UUI 3 00 3 OV a sol oo 6 sum WW 2500 35 OS auuo ALLISON ft PEUKINS, Pi-nusuittg. UMU 00 17 50 a aw 4 50 8 501 6 SMI 00 18 oofe 0SUI S 18 00 ii4 amis, m m on lo oou oo a oo7 oolss 100 OS JOLA, ALLEN COUNTY, KANSAS. Q-Translent and Legal advertienents must be paid for in advance. I ocal and Special Notices, 10 cents a lis. AU letters in relatioa to business in any war connected with the offlce should be addressed la the Publishers and Proprietors. Auisox Pehiss. 1 TKKMS TWO DOLLARS PUB YKAB. VOLUME IZ. IOLA, ALLEN COUNTY, KANSAS, JUNE 19, 1875. NO. 25. OmciAI. PAPER Of COUHTT. y i '1 business Wittdsxr). COUNTY OFFICERS. IT-WTJeott District Judge JgFAcers, Probate Judge Hia Thrasher, .. County Treasurer H A Needham .County Clerk G M Brown, Blaster of Deeds J II Richards, .- County Attorney vyiSimpaan Clerk District Court JK3nu Superintendent 1-nl.lic A-hl. J L Woodin, , Sheriff ifiZZ.SSr0-; surveyor A WJIowland, Commissioners isaac Jwneoraac, J CITY OFFICERS. W C Jones,! Haror J K Boyd Police Judge C W Apple, 1 X F Aeers, I III Richards, Councilmen WIIBlehards, f C M Simnson. j John Francis Treasurer w J aaP ucn Jaases Simpson, Street Commissioner John H Willis Marshal CHURCHES. METHODIST EPISCOPAL. Corner of Jefferson avenue and Broadwar St. Services every Sabbath at 10i a. m. and 7 p. m. 4 ntjn uuxuag luunusv ctcnings at i p. m. II. K. Hum, Pastor. PRESBYTERIAN. Corner Madison avenue and Western street. Services lOJf a. in. and7 p.m. Sunday School at ld. o. u. cubs, rastor. BAPTIST. On Sycamore street. Services every Sabbath at lOJia. ra. and7p. m. Prayer meeting on Thurs day evening;. Church meeting at ip. m. on Saturday before the first Sabbath in each month, fiabbath School at 9 o'clock a. ra. . C. T. Floyd, Pastor. Secret Societies. IOLA LODGE, NO. 38, A. F. & A. Masons meets on toe first and third Saturdays in every month. Brethren in good standing are invited to attend. II. w. TAX.COTT, W. M J. N. White, Sec'y. IOLA LODGE, NO. 21, I. O. of Odd Fel lows hold their regular ' dav eveninir. in their I meetinss every iues- hall, next door north of the post office. Visiting lircthren in good standing, are imited to attend. C. M. SIMPSON, N. G. W. C, Jones, Sec'y. . hotels. LELAND HOUSE. BD. ALLEN, Proprietor. IOLA, Kansas. This house has been thoroughly repaired and refitted and is now the most desirable place jn the city for trat elers to stop. No pains will be pareu xu nu me guedis oi ine iieianu leei at home. Baggage transferred to and from Depot tree of charge. . CITY HOTEL, RICHARD PROCTOR, Proprietor. Iola, Kansas. Single meals 25 rents. Day board ers one dollar per dajr. 5 SUtorncijs. NELSON F. ACERS, ATTORNEY AT LAW, Iola, Allen eonnty, . Kansas ILis the only full and complete set of Abstracts of Allen county. . J. C. MinuAV. J. II. Riciuuds, County Attorney. MURRAY & RICHARDS, A TTORNEYS AND COUNSELORS AT LAW. J. Money in sums from S3U0 00 to 5,0d0 00 loaned on long time upon Improveu farms In Allen, Anderson, Woodson, and Neosho coun ties. . IHtscellaneous. L. L. LOW, GENERAL AUCTIONEER. Iola, Kansas. Cries sales in Allen and adjoining counties. MRS. JULIA A. B. WHITNEY, TEACHER OF MUSIC; Also, agent for Pianos and Organs. Terms reasonable and satisfac tion guaranteed. Patronage respectfully solicited. M. DeMOSS, M. D., OFFICE over Jno. Francis & Co.'s Drugstore Residence on Washington avenue, 2nd door outh Neosho street. M. A. NEEDHAM, COUNTY :CLERK. Conveyancing carefully done, and acknowledgements taken. Maps and plans neatly drawn. . J. N. WHITE, T TNDERTAKER, Madison avenue, Iola, Kan ,J sas. Woodcofiljis .constantly on hand and llearse always In readiness. Metallc i Burial Cases mrnlsbed on short notice. J. E. THORP, -TQARBKR SHOP on Washington avenue first JDdoorsouthofL.L. Northrun's. Wood, Coal, Potatoes, Corn and Hickory Nuts taken in ex change for work. ' . H. REIMERT, TAILOR. Iola. Kansas. Scott Brother's old stand. Clothing made to order in the latest and best Styles. Satisfaction guaranteed. Clean ing and repairing done on short notice. D. F. QLVENS, WATCHMAKER, JEWELER, AND CLOCK Repairer, al'the postoffice, Iola, Kansas. Clocks, Watches and Jewelrv, promptly and neatly repaired and wanrolrd. A fine assort ment of Clocks, Jewelry, Gjdd pens and other fancy articles, which will.e spld cheap. . New Meat Market. Having just opened a MEAT MARKET Madison Av.finl door west Scott Bro's eld Hand.) I propose to keep constantly on hand ALL KINDS OF MEAT. Amd Sell svaXowIsvatksCLawMt- Give me a call when you want anything in, my line ami iwui guarantee khubcuud. E CO All Furnished on order. RICHARD PROCTOR. PUBLIC NOTICE. Notice is herebv liven to all nersons whom It may concern that the undersigned, administrator A uic estate oi jviuen neeier, late or Allen coun ty, Kansas, deceased, has filed his petition in the Probate Court of Allen county, Kansas, asking that an order issue from said Court, authorizing -aad emnowerinc the undersumal to aii th mi property of the said decedent for the purpose of i uig iuc wuw vi um: bmu ucccucni, wuicnreai .estate is described as follows, to-wit: '-.Commencing at the northeast comer of section 17, township St. sonth of range 18 east, and running thence sofutti 70 chains, ibence west 5 chains, thence north 10 chains, thence west 16.60 chains, thence north 60 chains, thence east 21.60 chains to place of beginning, containing in the aggregate 134.60 acres. Said petition wul be beardon the 26th day of June, A. D. 1875, at 10 o'clock a. m. of said day. FRANK W. BARTLETT, Administrator. Iola, Kansas, June 7, 1875. M-S NOTICE OF FINAL SETTLEMENT. All persons interested in the estate of George Brooks, deceased, will take notice that on the 21th day of July, 1875, 1 will make final settle ment of fte business of said estate with the Pro bate Court of Allen county. J. WEBSTER JOHNSON, Administrator. Vjp.e7th, ;875.. ;.-! nr SERVED OUT. In the year 183 there lived at Bor deaux the last, orone of the last, of a long line of scoundrels who had made that part of France infamous (to our ideas) by a succession of cold-blooded murders, committed under the sanction of what people were pleased to term "the code of honor." This was a certain Counte de V , a man of great phys ical strength, imperturable sangfroid and relentless cruelty. Not a bad sort of a companion, as some said, when the fit the dueling fit was not on him; but this came on once in every six months, and then he must have blood, it matter ed little whose. He had killed and maimed boys of sixteen, fathers of fami lies, military officers, journa ists, advo cates, peaceful country gentlemen. The cause of a quarrel was of no importance; if one did not present itself readily, he made one; always contriving that, ac cording to the code aforesaid, be should be the insulted party, thus having the choice of weapons; and he was deadly with the small sword. It is difficult tor us to realize a state of society in whieh such a wild beast could be permitted to go at large; but we know it to be true that such creatures were endured in France, just as we are assured that at one time there were wolves in Yorkshire only the less noisome vermin had a harder time of it as civilization progress ed than was dealt out to the human brute. The latest exploit of the Counte de V , previous to the story I am about to relate, was to goad a poor student in to a challenge, and when it was repre sented to him that the boy had never held a sword in his life, so that it would be fairer to use pistols, he replied that "fools Bometimes made mistakes with pistols," and the next morning ran him through the lungs. The evil fit was on him ; but the blood thus shed quieted him for another half year, and rather more, for public opinion was unfavora ble, and the air of Bordeaux became too warm for him. The scandal blew over after a time, and he came back to his old haunts, one of which was a cafe by the river side, where many used to spend their Sunday. Into the little garden of this establish ment our wolf swaggered one fine sum mer afternoon, with the heavy dark look and nervous twitching of the hands which those who were acquainted with him well knew meant mischief. The evil fit was on him; consequently he found himself the center of a circle that expanded as he went on. This did not displease him. He liked to be feared He knew he could make a quarrel when he chose, so he looked around for a victim. At a table almost in the middle of the garden sat a man of about thirty years of age, of middle height and an expres sion of countenance which at first struck one as mild and good humored. He was engaged in reading a journal which seemed to interest him, and eating straw berries, an occupation which does not call forth any latent strength of charac ter. Above all, he was profoundly un conscious of the presence of M. le Comte de V , and continued eating his strawberries and reading his paper as though no wolf was ia that pleasant hold. As the Count approached this table it become sufficiently well known whom he was about to honor with his insolence and the circle narrowed again to see the play. It is not bad sport, with some of us, to see a fellow creature baited es pecially when we are out of danger of wolves. The strawberry-eater's costume was not such as was ordinarily worn in France at that time, and he had a curi ousffaat, which the weather being warm he had placed on the table by his side. "He is a foreigner," whispered some one in the dress circle. "Perhaps he does not know Monsieur le Comte." Monsieur le Comte seated himself at the table opposite the unconscious stran ger, and called loudly, "Garcon." "Garcon," he said, when that func tionary appeared, "take away that nasty thing I" pointing to the hat aforesaid. Now the stranger's elbow, as he read his journal, was on the brim of the "nasty thing," which was a very good hat but of British form and make. The garcon was embarrassed. "Do you hear me?" thundered the Count. "Take that thing away I No one has a right to place his hat on the .table." "I beg your pardon," said the straw- berryteater, politely placing the offend ing article.on his head and drawing his chair a little .to one side ; "I will make jroqm for Monsieur." The garcon was about to retire well satisfied, when the bully called after him "Have I not commanded you to take that thing which annoys jme away V "But, Monseiur le,CateJ it is irapoe. sible." "What is impossible r "That I should take the gentleman's hat" "By no means," observed the stranger, uncovering again. "Be so good as to carry my hat to the lady at the counter, and ask her, on my behalf, jto do me the favor to accept charge of jt for the present," "You speak French passably well for a foreigner," said the bully, stretching his arms over the table and looking his neighbor full in the face a titter of con tempt going round the circle. "I am not a foreigner, Monsieur." "I am sorry for that." "SoamL" "May one, without indiscretion, in quire why T" "Certainly. Because, if I were a for eigner, I should be spared the pain of seeing a compatriot behave himself very rudely." "Meaning me?" "Meaning precisely you." "Do you know who I am?" asked the Count, half turning bis back upon him, and facing the lookers-on, as much as to say, "Now observe how will crush this poor creature." "Monsieur," replied the strawberry- eater, with perfect politeness in his tone, "I have the honor not to know you." "Death of my lifel I am the Count de V 1" The strawberry-eater looked up and the easy, good natured face was gone. In its place was one with two gray eyes which flashed like fire, and a mouth that set itself very firmly. "The Comte deV ," he repeated, in a low voice. "Yes, Monsieur. And what have you to say against him f ' "I? O nothing." "That may be well for you." "But there are those who say he is a coward." "That is enough," said the bully, starting to his feet. "Monsieur will find me in two hours at this address," fling ing him a card. "I shall not trouble myself to seek Monsieur le Comte," replied the straw berry-eater, calmly tearing the card in two. "Then I shall say of Monsieur what he, permitting himself to lie, said just now of me." "And that is?" "That he is a coward." "You may say what y.u please Mon sieur Ic Comte. Those who know me would not believe you, and those who do not my faith! what care I what they think?" "And thou, thou art a Frenchman 1" No one but a Frenchman could have thrown so much disdain as he did into the "thou." The strawberry-eater made no reply, but turned his head and called, "Gar con!" The poor trembling creature came up again, wondering what new dilemma was prepared for him, and stood quaking some ten yards off. "Garcon," said the stranger, "is there a vacant room in this hotel V "Without doubt, Monsieur." "A large one?" "But, certainly. They are all large own apartments." "Then engage the largest for me to day, and another, no matter what, for Monsieur le Comte." "Monsieur, I give my own orders when necessary," said the Count loftily. "I thought to spare you the trouble. Go, if you please," (this to the waiter) "and prepare my rooms." Then the strawberry-eater returned to his strawberries. The bully gnawed his lip. He could not make head or tail of this phlegmatic opponent The circle grew a little wider, for a horrid idea got abroad that the Count had not found one who was likely to suit him, and that he would have to seek elsewhere what he wanted. The murmur that went round aroused the bully. "Monsieur," he hissed, "has presumed to make use of the word which among men of honor " "I beg your pardon T' ''Which among men of honor " "But what can Monsieur le Comte possibly know what is felt among men of honor f asked the other with a shrug of incredulity. "Will you fight yourself with me, or will you not," roared the Count, goaded to fury. "If Monsieur le Comte will give him self the trouble to follow to the auart- meut which, no doubt; is now prepared for me," replied the stranger, rising, "I will satisfy him." "Good," said the other, kicking down his chair; "I am with you. I waive the usual preliminaries. I only beg to ob serve that I am without arms; but if you " "O, don't trouble yourself on that score," said the stranger with a grim smile. "If you aro not afraid, follow me." This he said in a voice sufficiently loud for the nearest to hear, and the cir cle parted right and left, like startled sheep, as the two walked towards the house.' Was there no one to call "police," no one to try and prevent what to all seem ed imminent? Not a soul! The dreaded duelist had his evil fit on, and every one breathed freely now that he knew the victim was selected. Moreover, no one supposed that it would end there. The Count and his friend (?) were ushered into the apartment prepared for the latter, who, as soon as the garcon had left took off his coat and waistcoat and proceeded to move the furniture so as to leave the room free from what was to follow the Count standing wjth fold ed arms, glaring at him the while. The decks being cleared for action, the stranger locked the door, placed the key on the mantle-piece behind him and said: "I think you might have helped a lit tie, but never mind. Will you give me your attention for five minutes?"' "Perfectly' "Thank you. I am, as I have told you, a Frenchman, but I was educated in England, at one of her famous public schools. Had I been sent to one of our own Lyceds, I should, perhaps, have gained more book knowledge, but as it is, I have learned some things we do not teach, and one of them is not to take a mean advantage of any man, but to keep my own head with my own hands. Do you understand me Monsieur le Comte?" "I cannot flatter myself that I do." "Hal Then I must be more explicit I learned then that one who takes ad vantage of mere brute strength against the weak, or who. practiced in any art compels one unpracticed in it to con tend with him, is a coward and a knave. Do you follow me now Monsieur le Comte r "I came here Monsieur " "Never mind for what you came, be content with what you will get For ex ample to follow what I. was observing if a man is killed with a small sword for the mere vicious love of quarrelling, goads to madness a boy who has never fenced in his life and kills him, that man is a murderer; and more a cowardly murderer, and knavish." "I think I catch your meaning; but if you nave pistols nere loamea the bully. "I do not come to eat strawberries with pistols in my pocket," replied the other, in the same calm tone he had used throughout "Allow me to continue. At that school of which I have spoken, and in the society of men who have grown out of it, and others where the same habit of thought prevails, it would be considered that a man who had been guilty of such cowardice and knavery as I have mentioned would be justly pun ished, if, some day, he should be paid in his own coin by meeting some one who would take him at the same disadvan tage as he placed that poor boy at." "Our seconds shall fix your own weap ons, Monsieur," said the Count; "let this farce end." "Presently. Those gentlemen whose opinions I now venture to express, not having that craze for blood which dis tinguishes some who have not had a similar enlightened education would probably think that such a coward and knave as we have been considering would best meet his deserts by receiving a humiliating castigation befitting bis knavery and his cowardice." "Ah! I see; I have a lawyer to deal with," sneered the Count. "Yes. I have studied a little law, but I regret to say I am about to break one of its provisions." "You will fight me then?" "Yes. At the school we have been speaking of, I learned, among other things, the use of my hands; and if I mistake not I am about to give you as sound a thrashing as any bully ever got" "You would take advantage of your skill in the box?" said the Count get ting a little pale. "Exactly. Just as you took advan tage of your skill in the smallsword with poor young B ." "But it is degrading brutal 1" "My dear Monsieur, just consider. You are four inches taller and some thirty or forty kilogrammes heavier than I am. I have seldom seen so fine an outside. If you were to hit me a good swinging blow, it would go hard with me. In the same way, if poor young B had got over your guard, it would have gone hard with you. But then I shall only black both of your eyes, and perhaps deprive you of a tooth or so, un happily in front; whereas you killed "I will not accept this barbarous en counter." "You must; I have done talking. Would you like a little brandy before we begin ? No! Place yourself on guard then, if you please. When I am done with you. and you are fit to appear, then you shall have your revenge even with the small sword, if you please. At pres ent, bully coward knave, take that, and that, and that 1" And the wiry little Anglo-Frank was as good as his word. In less time than it takes to write it the great braggart was rendered unpresentable for many a long day. That number one caused him to see fifty suns beaming in the firma ment with his right eye; that number two produced a similar phenomenon with his left; that number three obliged him to swallow a front tooth, and to ob serve the ceiling more attentively than he had hitherto done. And when one or two other thats had completely cowed him, and he threw open the window and called for help, the strawberry-eater took him by the neck and breeches and flung him out of it on the flower-bed twlow. The strawberry-eater remained a month at Bordeaux to fulfill his prom ise of giving the Count bis revenge. But then again the bully met with more than his match. The strawberry-eater had Angelo for a master as well as Owen Swift and after a few passes the Count, who was too eager to kill his man, felt an .unpleasant sensation in his right shoulder. The seconds interfered, and there was an end to the affair. It was his last duel. Some one produced a sketch of him as he appeared being thrown out of the hotel window, and ridicule so awful to a Frenchman rid the country of him. The strawberry eater was alive when the battle of the Aimi was fought, and is the only man to whom the above facts are known who never talks about them. Temple Bar. The Battle of Baaker tlill. I will not try to tell over again the story of the battle, for it is in every school History, it is enough now to know that at one o'clock the British army landed in good order at Moulton's Point, and immediately formed in three lines, while the barges returned to Bos ton for more troops, who arrived at three; that the British, some three thousand strong, advanced upon the American works; that they were driven back with fearful slaughter; that they advanced again, with the flames of the burning town to veil their movements. and were again repulsed ; that they ral lied again with reinforcements against the Americans, who were not only worn down with labor and fasting, but out of ammunition ; and at about five o'clock, after this bloody conflict of an hour and a halt with raw volunteers, these picked soldiers of the British army took posses sion of the hill that had served them for a retreat on the famous 19th of April, with more than a thousand dead and wounded as the price of their victory, among these 22G being among the killed. The Americans had 140 killed, 271 wounded, and 30 captured, or 441 in all, in a force probably not exceeding fifteen hundred men actually engaged. The British, by the most truthful accounts, had less than four thousand men engag ed on the field, according to Mr. Rich ard Frothingham's excellent history of the battle, but he apparently does not include the sailors and gunners in the British ships who were so active in the fight, and who killed the first American in the fort. That was a sad evening for Boston and all the people around it The sun that went down in splendor behind the ruins of that burned town, after that day of summer loveliness, shone upon a Gol gatha of death. British and Americans who had been in arms against each other were one now ic the pain of wounds, the agony of bereavement, and the need of the Divine Comforter. The chimes of Christ Church did not probably ring out after the din of battle had ceased and night came on, but they must have tolled when Major Pitcairn's body was brought there for the burial service and interred under the church. He was a brave and kindly man, who has appar rently been misunderstood, and identi fied with acts of atrocity which he ab horred. His name heads the large list of British officers who were killed or wounded in the battle thirteen killed and seventy wounded, a proportion so large as to put this battle on a footing with the carnage of Quebec and of Min den. The losses on the American side were not so many nor so conspicuous ; but one man fell whose death was life to his companions and bis cause, and, with all allowance for local and personal friendship and patriotic exaggeration, there is no doubt that when Dr. Joseph Warren died, New England liberty had its martyr, and America had a hero who fought for her thenceforth with weapons that arc not carnal, and with a valor that knows no weariness, and wants no food or clothing or arms. Warren was a noble man, and did a great deal for the patriot cause, but his life and his death meant more than he or any body else knew at the time. He was, as we shall see, a text out of the book, of hu manity and of God that history was then unrolling. Ifarper't Magazine. A correspondent of one of the metro politan journals states that he recently prepared a package for the mail, and on weighing it found that it required just seven postage stamps of the three cent denomination, but after putting on the stamps the scale was turned for another half ounce, the weight of the seven stamps making it necessary, according to postoffice rule, to apply another stamp. In other words, says the correspondent, "I" was obliged to pay three cents postage on the seven stamps used in paying post age on the letter. Is it right to compel payment for the privilege of paying?" Jones gave a lawyer a bill to be collec ted to the amount of $30. Calling for it after awhile, he inquired if it had been collected. "Oh, yes," said the lawyer, "I have it all for you." "What charge for collecting f" "Oh," said the lawyer, laughing, "I'm not going to charge you why I have known you ever since you was a baby, and your father before you ; $20 will be about right" handing over $10. "Well," said Jones, as he medi tated upon the transaction, "It's darned lucky he didn't know my grandfather, or I shouldn't have got anything." Cowden Clark tells a story of a gentle man who lately in making a return of his income to 'the tax commissioner, wrote on the paper: "For the first three years my income has been some what under 150 ; in the future it will be more precarious, as the man is dead of whom I borrowed the money." SHERIDAN'S BRIDE. BT AOXXS UOXAED HILL. . "Glorious things of thee are spoken" Words befit a hero's bride; Youth and wealth and fame and beauty, Gifts that none may dare deride t Not for thee the smoke of contest, Not for thee the cannon's roar. Not the heart-break of the carnage On the battle fields of gore: All thy future lies before thee. Fair as earth when Eden smiled ; Thou art Eve, whom yet no Satan Hath of Paradise beguiled. What to thee a war of nations? What the rar-ofi groan and strife? Blessed art thou, oh happy woman, For the splendor of thy lifel Joy is thine, and peace and plenty, Though tbou art a soldier's bride; What dark grief, oh queenly beauty, May'st thou not with smiles deride? Heaven grant thy roses never Hold a thorn to pierce thy heart! Hay 'st tbou have no "Friend" to smite thee With a worse than serpent's dart. May no honeyed lips beguile thee, With the smiles that women wear. When tbey hide most trait'rous purpose In a speech that seemeth (air. Oh thou art so young and trusting Stiangerl Bride! I give thee tears. Praying that good angels keep thee Through life's ever changeful years. Touth and wealth and fame and beauty, Gifts befit a hero's bride I could wish for thee, fair stranger, All that wisdom gives beside; That thy lite, like some glad river, Flowing onward to the sea, Shall at last in Joys forever, Still more blest and gracious be. Chicago, June 7, 1875. Nark Twain Advice te Little Girls. Good little girls ought not to make mouths at their teachers for every tri fling offence. This retaliation should only be resorted to under peculiarly ag gravating circumstances. If you have nothing but a rag doll stuffed with saw dust, while one of your more fortunate little playmates has a costly china one, you should treat her with a show of kindness nevertheless. And you ought not to attempt lo make a forcible swap with her unless your conscience would justify you in it, and you know you are able to do it. You ought never to take your little brother's chewing gum away from him by force; it is better to "rope him in" with promise of the first two dollars and a naif you hud floating down the river on a grindstone. In the artless simplic ity natural to his time of life he will re gard it as a perfectly fair transaction. In all the ages of the world this emi nently plausible fiction has lured the obture iufant to financial ruin and dis aster. If at any time you find it neces sary to correct him with mud never on any account throw mud at him, because it will soil his clothes. It is better to scald him a little for then you attain desirable results; you secure his imme diate attention to the lessons you are in culcating, and at the same time your hot -water will have a tendency to remove impurities from his person, and possibly the skin, also, in spots. If your mother tells you to do a thing, it is wrong to reply that you won't It is better aud more becoming to intimate that you will do as she bids you, and then afterwards act quietly in the mat ter, accor ling to the dictates of your better judgment You should ever bear in mind that it is to your kind parents that you are indebted for your food and your nice bed, and your beautiful clothes, and for the privilege of staying home from school when you let on you are sick. Therefore you ought to respect their little prejudices and humor their little whims, and put up with foibles un til they get to crowding you too much. Good little girls always show marked deference for the aged. You ought nev er to "sass" old people unless they "sass" you first. The Drawia;-oit Dtdge. The Fifth Avenue young ladies are telling this story: The other evening at a fashionable re ception, a well known old maid from Boston, whom we will call Miss Warren, was promenading in the conservatory with one of our well known New York young gentlemen. As the music stopped the two seated temselves under a palm tree, and the following dialogue oc curred: Boston Old Maid Nobody loves me my dear Mr. Withington, nobody. Young Fellow Yes, Miss Warren, God loves you, and your mother loves you. Boston Old Maid Mr. Withington, lets go in. And five minutes afterward Miss War ren was trying the drawing-out dodge on another fellow. Zt Perkins. Green Peas. Have the hands and the dishes clean in shelling, so that the peas need not be washed before cooking. If the pods are very nice and sweet, they may be conked in the water before the peas are put in ; but usually this does not pay. Have the peas a little more than even foil of water, and cook them twenty minutes after they begin to boiL As the season advances, cook them lon ger. Be sure to nave them tender, but do not cook them after they are tender. If done too soon, let them stand hot without cooking. Serve warm, full of juioe, and if you wish for the full benefit of the sweet pea flavor, serve without seasoning. AaitUraey's Effective Advice. If to serve a client faithfully by the adoption of every means to 'advance his cause is a moral obligation, then Attor ney Stubbs, of Solano, California has got a credit mark upon the book of the Re cording Angel. A very bad case of pris oner, a reprobate known as "Little Mil ler," was convicted of forgery, notwith standing the strenuous efforts of Stubbs in his behalf, and was brought before the judge for sentence. When asked if he had any thing to say, ''Little Miller" did not remain silent He had a good deal to say, and he said it,. He wept like a child, and spoke as one who had erred in a moment of impulse, for which he was to atoue by years of contrition and well doing. Every one in court was affected, and the emotional sensation ex tended even to the Judge on the bench. Mr. Stubbs spoke of the physical weak ness of his client and the prospect that his life would be ruined by a long term of imprisonment. Then the Judge sentenced Miller for only one year. Af ter it was all over, Miller was questioned by a fellow-prisoner as to the cause of his extraordinary grief, and the reply was: "Stubbs told me to cry like a son of a gun, and the Judge would be light on me, and I did it" Mr. Stubbs is ev idently a great man. Felt Aggrieved. Several days ago a detective arrested a man about fifty years old who was hanging around one of the depots, believing him to be the man wanted by Cleveland parties for burg lary. After keeping the man locked up for four days he was set at liberty. When told that he could depart, he said to the detective: "I don't think this is right" "Mistakes will happen." was the reply. "Yes, I know, but you kept me locked up four days, and I feel aggrieved about it I think you can afford to treat to the beer!" A glass of beer settled the case to his satisfaction. Detroit Free Press. About seven years ago a party of hunt ers from Alleghaney City, Pa., went to Erie to hunt ducks on Presque Isle pen insula. One of the party, Mr. Chas. L. Hutchinson, lost a valuable gold watch and chain among the numerous little ponds that intersect the peninsula. Long and diligent search was made, and no trace of the watch being found, the search was given up as a hopeless one. Mr. Hutchinson went back to Alleghany City but could not forget his loss, the watch being a gift from a deceased friend. Seven years have passed since then. Last week while in Erie on a visit, he felt a strong inclination to renew the search, and alone he again went over the ground formerly traveresed by him. While sitting down among the bushes to empty his boots of the sand that had just got into them, he chanced to cast his eyes upward, when to his intense sur prise and joy he saw the watch and chain hanging to the limbs of a small sapling, just as they had hung there seven years before, when the young twigs now grown quite large had jerked them from his pocket ! The wood of the sap ling had grown over and about the chain, holding it firm. Mr. Hutchinson cut off the branch within which the chain was embedded. The watch has been cleaned and repaired, and is now keeping as good time as in former years. The experiment made in London, in which either oil or glycerine is made to perform the functions of steam by the same means the application of heat have excited no small interest The heat expands the oil placed in small cylinders, and from it it is claimed, a pressure of ten thousand pounds per squave inch may be obtained without the danger of steam explosions, which latter prevent the use of a pressure of more than two hundred pounds to the square inch generally. In this instance, it is asserted, an explosion would only crack the cylender containing the oil. The application of this process appears, from the account published, to have been successfully made to the printing press and to machines for riveting and punching, and it is alleged that the va riety of uses of which it is susceptible will be found very great An Irish lecturer thus endeavored to prove that the late John Staurt Mill waa not a "human" man: "An unnatural and laborious child, he took so delight in the proper amusements of youth, spending the hours that ought to have been devoted to fairy tales in the study of the Greek grammar and Euclid ; grow-, ing np without the hope of relaxation ia this world or of enjoyment hereafter; working out the knowledge of many sciences and yet ignorant of men, and spending what love his shrivelly heart might have bad for women ob the love of abstract ideas." Some smarty writes and many papers have -quoted the following sentence: "Forty girls will ma after a snob with a gold-headed cane where one will shy up to a fellow with good sound horse sense." When we say that forty men will ran after a flirt who can sing a little and thump on a piano, to where one will shy up to a plain, hard sense girl who k ana ashamed to help her mother get dinner, the owe stands about even.