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THE REGISTER.
RATES OF ADVERTISING.
THE IOLA REGISTER.
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PUBLISHED EVERY SATURDAY.
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auuo
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100 OS
JOLA, ALLEN COUNTY, KANSAS.
Q-Translent and Legal advertienents must
be paid for in advance.
I ocal and Special Notices, 10 cents a lis.
AU letters in relatioa to business in any war
connected with the offlce should be addressed la
the Publishers and Proprietors.
Auisox Pehiss.
1
TKKMS TWO DOLLARS PUB YKAB.
VOLUME IZ.
IOLA, ALLEN COUNTY, KANSAS, JUNE 19, 1875.
NO. 25.
OmciAI. PAPER Of COUHTT.
y
i
'1
business Wittdsxr).
COUNTY OFFICERS.
IT-WTJeott District Judge
JgFAcers, Probate Judge
Hia Thrasher, .. County Treasurer
H A Needham .County Clerk
G M Brown, Blaster of Deeds
J II Richards, .- County Attorney
vyiSimpaan Clerk District Court
JK3nu Superintendent 1-nl.lic A-hl.
J L Woodin, , Sheriff
ifiZZ.SSr0-; surveyor
A WJIowland, Commissioners
isaac Jwneoraac, J
CITY OFFICERS.
W C Jones,! Haror
J K Boyd Police Judge
C W Apple, 1
X F Aeers, I
III Richards, Councilmen
WIIBlehards, f
C M Simnson. j
John Francis Treasurer
w J aaP ucn
Jaases Simpson, Street Commissioner
John H Willis Marshal
CHURCHES.
METHODIST EPISCOPAL.
Corner of Jefferson avenue and Broadwar St.
Services every Sabbath at 10i a. m. and 7 p. m.
4 ntjn uuxuag luunusv ctcnings at i p. m.
II. K. Hum, Pastor.
PRESBYTERIAN.
Corner Madison avenue and Western street.
Services lOJf a. in. and7 p.m. Sunday School at
ld. o. u. cubs, rastor.
BAPTIST.
On Sycamore street. Services every Sabbath at
lOJia. ra. and7p. m. Prayer meeting on Thurs
day evening;. Church meeting at ip. m. on
Saturday before the first Sabbath in each month,
fiabbath School at 9 o'clock a. ra.
. C. T. Floyd, Pastor.
Secret Societies.
IOLA LODGE, NO. 38,
A. F. & A. Masons meets on toe first
and third Saturdays in every month.
Brethren in good standing are invited
to attend. II. w. TAX.COTT, W. M
J. N. White, Sec'y.
IOLA LODGE, NO. 21,
I. O. of Odd Fel
lows hold their regular
' dav eveninir. in their
I meetinss every iues-
hall, next door north of the post office. Visiting
lircthren in good standing, are imited to attend.
C. M. SIMPSON, N. G.
W. C, Jones, Sec'y. .
hotels.
LELAND HOUSE.
BD. ALLEN, Proprietor. IOLA, Kansas.
This house has been thoroughly repaired
and refitted and is now the most desirable place
jn the city for trat elers to stop. No pains will be
pareu xu nu me guedis oi ine iieianu leei at
home. Baggage transferred to and from Depot
tree of charge. .
CITY HOTEL,
RICHARD PROCTOR, Proprietor. Iola,
Kansas. Single meals 25 rents. Day board
ers one dollar per dajr. 5
SUtorncijs.
NELSON F. ACERS,
ATTORNEY AT LAW, Iola, Allen eonnty,
. Kansas ILis the only full and complete set
of Abstracts of Allen county. .
J. C. MinuAV. J. II. Riciuuds,
County Attorney.
MURRAY & RICHARDS,
A TTORNEYS AND COUNSELORS AT LAW.
J. Money in sums from S3U0 00 to 5,0d0 00
loaned on long time upon Improveu farms In
Allen, Anderson, Woodson, and Neosho coun
ties. .
IHtscellaneous.
L. L. LOW,
GENERAL AUCTIONEER. Iola, Kansas.
Cries sales in Allen and adjoining counties.
MRS. JULIA A. B. WHITNEY,
TEACHER OF MUSIC; Also, agent for Pianos
and Organs. Terms reasonable and satisfac
tion guaranteed. Patronage respectfully solicited.
M. DeMOSS, M. D.,
OFFICE over Jno. Francis & Co.'s Drugstore
Residence on Washington avenue, 2nd door
outh Neosho street.
M. A. NEEDHAM,
COUNTY :CLERK. Conveyancing carefully
done, and acknowledgements taken. Maps
and plans neatly drawn. .
J. N. WHITE,
T TNDERTAKER, Madison avenue, Iola, Kan
,J sas. Woodcofiljis .constantly on hand and
llearse always In readiness. Metallc
i Burial Cases
mrnlsbed on short notice.
J. E. THORP,
-TQARBKR SHOP on Washington avenue first
JDdoorsouthofL.L. Northrun's. Wood, Coal,
Potatoes, Corn and Hickory Nuts taken in ex
change for work. ' .
H. REIMERT,
TAILOR. Iola. Kansas. Scott Brother's old
stand. Clothing made to order in the latest
and best Styles. Satisfaction guaranteed. Clean
ing and repairing done on short notice.
D. F. QLVENS,
WATCHMAKER, JEWELER, AND CLOCK
Repairer, al'the postoffice, Iola, Kansas.
Clocks, Watches and Jewelrv, promptly and
neatly repaired and wanrolrd. A fine assort
ment of Clocks, Jewelry, Gjdd pens and other
fancy articles, which will.e spld cheap. .
New Meat Market.
Having just opened a
MEAT MARKET
Madison Av.finl door west Scott Bro's eld Hand.)
I propose to keep constantly on hand
ALL KINDS OF MEAT.
Amd Sell svaXowIsvatksCLawMt-
Give me a call when you want anything in, my
line ami iwui guarantee khubcuud.
E CO All Furnished on order.
RICHARD PROCTOR.
PUBLIC NOTICE.
Notice is herebv liven to all nersons whom It
may concern that the undersigned, administrator
A uic estate oi jviuen neeier, late or Allen coun
ty, Kansas, deceased, has filed his petition in the
Probate Court of Allen county, Kansas, asking
that an order issue from said Court, authorizing
-aad emnowerinc the undersumal to aii th mi
property of the said decedent for the purpose of
i uig iuc wuw vi um: bmu ucccucni, wuicnreai
.estate is described as follows, to-wit: '-.Commencing
at the northeast comer of section 17,
township St. sonth of range 18 east, and running
thence sofutti 70 chains, ibence west 5 chains,
thence north 10 chains, thence west 16.60 chains,
thence north 60 chains, thence east 21.60 chains to
place of beginning, containing in the aggregate
134.60 acres. Said petition wul be beardon the
26th day of June, A. D. 1875, at 10 o'clock a. m.
of said day.
FRANK W. BARTLETT,
Administrator.
Iola, Kansas, June 7, 1875. M-S
NOTICE OF FINAL SETTLEMENT.
All persons interested in the estate of George
Brooks, deceased, will take notice that on the
21th day of July, 1875, 1 will make final settle
ment of fte business of said estate with the Pro
bate Court of Allen county.
J. WEBSTER JOHNSON,
Administrator.
Vjp.e7th, ;875.. ;.-!
nr
SERVED OUT.
In the year 183 there lived at Bor
deaux the last, orone of the last, of a
long line of scoundrels who had made
that part of France infamous (to our
ideas) by a succession of cold-blooded
murders, committed under the sanction
of what people were pleased to term "the
code of honor." This was a certain
Counte de V , a man of great phys
ical strength, imperturable sangfroid and
relentless cruelty. Not a bad sort of a
companion, as some said, when the fit
the dueling fit was not on him; but
this came on once in every six months,
and then he must have blood, it matter
ed little whose. He had killed and
maimed boys of sixteen, fathers of fami
lies, military officers, journa ists, advo
cates, peaceful country gentlemen. The
cause of a quarrel was of no importance;
if one did not present itself readily, he
made one; always contriving that, ac
cording to the code aforesaid, be should
be the insulted party, thus having the
choice of weapons; and he was deadly
with the small sword. It is difficult tor
us to realize a state of society in whieh
such a wild beast could be permitted to
go at large; but we know it to be true
that such creatures were endured in
France, just as we are assured that at
one time there were wolves in Yorkshire
only the less noisome vermin had a
harder time of it as civilization progress
ed than was dealt out to the human
brute.
The latest exploit of the Counte de
V , previous to the story I am about
to relate, was to goad a poor student in
to a challenge, and when it was repre
sented to him that the boy had never
held a sword in his life, so that it would
be fairer to use pistols, he replied that
"fools Bometimes made mistakes with
pistols," and the next morning ran him
through the lungs. The evil fit was on
him ; but the blood thus shed quieted
him for another half year, and rather
more, for public opinion was unfavora
ble, and the air of Bordeaux became too
warm for him.
The scandal blew over after a time,
and he came back to his old haunts, one
of which was a cafe by the river side,
where many used to spend their Sunday.
Into the little garden of this establish
ment our wolf swaggered one fine sum
mer afternoon, with the heavy dark look
and nervous twitching of the hands
which those who were acquainted with
him well knew meant mischief. The
evil fit was on him; consequently he
found himself the center of a circle that
expanded as he went on. This did not
displease him. He liked to be feared
He knew he could make a quarrel when
he chose, so he looked around for a
victim.
At a table almost in the middle of the
garden sat a man of about thirty years
of age, of middle height and an expres
sion of countenance which at first struck
one as mild and good humored. He was
engaged in reading a journal which
seemed to interest him, and eating straw
berries, an occupation which does not
call forth any latent strength of charac
ter. Above all, he was profoundly un
conscious of the presence of M. le Comte
de V , and continued eating his
strawberries and reading his paper as
though no wolf was ia that pleasant
hold.
As the Count approached this table it
become sufficiently well known whom
he was about to honor with his insolence
and the circle narrowed again to see the
play. It is not bad sport, with some of
us, to see a fellow creature baited es
pecially when we are out of danger of
wolves.
The strawberry-eater's costume was
not such as was ordinarily worn in
France at that time, and he had a curi
ousffaat, which the weather being warm
he had placed on the table by his side.
"He is a foreigner," whispered some one
in the dress circle. "Perhaps he does
not know Monsieur le Comte."
Monsieur le Comte seated himself at
the table opposite the unconscious stran
ger, and called loudly, "Garcon."
"Garcon," he said, when that func
tionary appeared, "take away that nasty
thing I" pointing to the hat aforesaid.
Now the stranger's elbow, as he read
his journal, was on the brim of the
"nasty thing," which was a very good
hat but of British form and make. The
garcon was embarrassed.
"Do you hear me?" thundered the
Count. "Take that thing away I No
one has a right to place his hat on the
.table."
"I beg your pardon," said the straw-
berryteater, politely placing the offend
ing article.on his head and drawing his
chair a little .to one side ; "I will make
jroqm for Monsieur."
The garcon was about to retire well
satisfied, when the bully called after
him
"Have I not commanded you to take
that thing which annoys jme away V
"But, Monseiur le,CateJ it is irapoe.
sible."
"What is impossible r
"That I should take the gentleman's
hat"
"By no means," observed the stranger,
uncovering again. "Be so good as to
carry my hat to the lady at the counter,
and ask her, on my behalf, jto do me the
favor to accept charge of jt for the
present,"
"You speak French passably well for
a foreigner," said the bully, stretching
his arms over the table and looking his
neighbor full in the face a titter of con
tempt going round the circle.
"I am not a foreigner, Monsieur."
"I am sorry for that."
"SoamL"
"May one, without indiscretion, in
quire why T"
"Certainly. Because, if I were a for
eigner, I should be spared the pain of
seeing a compatriot behave himself very
rudely."
"Meaning me?"
"Meaning precisely you."
"Do you know who I am?" asked the
Count, half turning bis back upon him,
and facing the lookers-on, as much as to
say, "Now observe how will crush this
poor creature."
"Monsieur," replied the strawberry-
eater, with perfect politeness in his tone,
"I have the honor not to know you."
"Death of my lifel I am the Count de
V 1"
The strawberry-eater looked up and
the easy, good natured face was gone.
In its place was one with two gray eyes
which flashed like fire, and a mouth that
set itself very firmly.
"The Comte deV ," he repeated,
in a low voice.
"Yes, Monsieur. And what have you
to say against him f '
"I? O nothing."
"That may be well for you."
"But there are those who say he is a
coward."
"That is enough," said the bully,
starting to his feet. "Monsieur will find
me in two hours at this address," fling
ing him a card.
"I shall not trouble myself to seek
Monsieur le Comte," replied the straw
berry-eater, calmly tearing the card in
two.
"Then I shall say of Monsieur what
he, permitting himself to lie, said just
now of me."
"And that is?"
"That he is a coward."
"You may say what y.u please Mon
sieur Ic Comte. Those who know me
would not believe you, and those who
do not my faith! what care I what
they think?"
"And thou, thou art a Frenchman 1"
No one but a Frenchman could have
thrown so much disdain as he did into
the "thou."
The strawberry-eater made no reply,
but turned his head and called, "Gar
con!" The poor trembling creature
came up again, wondering what new
dilemma was prepared for him, and
stood quaking some ten yards off.
"Garcon," said the stranger, "is there
a vacant room in this hotel V
"Without doubt, Monsieur."
"A large one?"
"But, certainly. They are all large
own apartments."
"Then engage the largest for me to
day, and another, no matter what, for
Monsieur le Comte."
"Monsieur, I give my own orders when
necessary," said the Count loftily.
"I thought to spare you the trouble.
Go, if you please," (this to the waiter)
"and prepare my rooms."
Then the strawberry-eater returned to
his strawberries. The bully gnawed his
lip. He could not make head or tail of
this phlegmatic opponent The circle
grew a little wider, for a horrid idea got
abroad that the Count had not found
one who was likely to suit him, and that
he would have to seek elsewhere what he
wanted.
The murmur that went round aroused
the bully.
"Monsieur," he hissed, "has presumed
to make use of the word which among
men of honor "
"I beg your pardon T'
''Which among men of honor "
"But what can Monsieur le Comte
possibly know what is felt among men
of honor f asked the other with a shrug
of incredulity.
"Will you fight yourself with me, or
will you not," roared the Count, goaded
to fury.
"If Monsieur le Comte will give him
self the trouble to follow to the auart-
meut which, no doubt; is now prepared
for me," replied the stranger, rising, "I
will satisfy him."
"Good," said the other, kicking down
his chair; "I am with you. I waive the
usual preliminaries. I only beg to ob
serve that I am without arms; but if
you "
"O, don't trouble yourself on that
score," said the stranger with a grim
smile. "If you aro not afraid, follow
me."
This he said in a voice sufficiently
loud for the nearest to hear, and the cir
cle parted right and left, like startled
sheep, as the two walked towards the
house.'
Was there no one to call "police," no
one to try and prevent what to all seem
ed imminent? Not a soul! The dreaded
duelist had his evil fit on, and every one
breathed freely now that he knew the
victim was selected. Moreover, no one
supposed that it would end there.
The Count and his friend (?) were
ushered into the apartment prepared for
the latter, who, as soon as the garcon
had left took off his coat and waistcoat
and proceeded to move the furniture so
as to leave the room free from what was
to follow the Count standing wjth fold
ed arms, glaring at him the while. The
decks being cleared for action, the
stranger locked the door, placed the key
on the mantle-piece behind him and
said:
"I think you might have helped a lit
tie, but never mind. Will you give me
your attention for five minutes?"'
"Perfectly'
"Thank you. I am, as I have told
you, a Frenchman, but I was educated
in England, at one of her famous public
schools. Had I been sent to one of our
own
Lyceds, I should, perhaps, have
gained more book knowledge, but as it
is, I have learned some things we do not
teach, and one of them is not to take a
mean advantage of any man, but to keep
my own head with my own hands. Do
you understand me Monsieur le Comte?"
"I cannot flatter myself that I do."
"Hal Then I must be more explicit
I learned then that one who takes ad
vantage of mere brute strength against
the weak, or who. practiced in any art
compels one unpracticed in it to con
tend with him, is a coward and a knave.
Do you follow me now Monsieur le
Comte r
"I came here Monsieur "
"Never mind for what you came, be
content with what you will get For ex
ample to follow what I. was observing
if a man is killed with a small sword
for the mere vicious love of quarrelling,
goads to madness a boy who has never
fenced in his life and kills him, that man
is a murderer; and more a cowardly
murderer, and knavish."
"I think I catch your meaning; but if
you nave pistols nere loamea the
bully.
"I do not come to eat strawberries with
pistols in my pocket," replied the other,
in the same calm tone he had used
throughout "Allow me to continue.
At that school of which I have spoken,
and in the society of men who have
grown out of it, and others where the
same habit of thought prevails, it would
be considered that a man who had been
guilty of such cowardice and knavery as
I have mentioned would be justly pun
ished, if, some day, he should be paid in
his own coin by meeting some one who
would take him at the same disadvan
tage as he placed that poor boy at."
"Our seconds shall fix your own weap
ons, Monsieur," said the Count; "let
this farce end."
"Presently. Those gentlemen whose
opinions I now venture to express, not
having that craze for blood which dis
tinguishes some who have not had a
similar enlightened education would
probably think that such a coward and
knave as we have been considering
would best meet his deserts by receiving
a humiliating castigation befitting bis
knavery and his cowardice."
"Ah! I see; I have a lawyer to deal
with," sneered the Count.
"Yes. I have studied a little law, but
I regret to say I am about to break one
of its provisions."
"You will fight me then?"
"Yes. At the school we have been
speaking of, I learned, among other
things, the use of my hands; and if I
mistake not I am about to give you as
sound a thrashing as any bully ever got"
"You would take advantage of your
skill in the box?" said the Count get
ting a little pale.
"Exactly. Just as you took advan
tage of your skill in the smallsword
with poor young B ."
"But it is degrading brutal 1"
"My dear Monsieur, just consider.
You are four inches taller and some
thirty or forty kilogrammes heavier than
I am. I have seldom seen so fine an
outside. If you were to hit me a good
swinging blow, it would go hard with
me. In the same way, if poor young
B had got over your guard, it would
have gone hard with you. But then I
shall only black both of your eyes, and
perhaps deprive you of a tooth or so, un
happily in front; whereas you killed
"I will not accept this barbarous en
counter."
"You must; I have done talking.
Would you like a little brandy before
we begin ? No! Place yourself on guard
then, if you please. When I am done
with you. and you are fit to appear, then
you shall have your revenge even with
the small sword, if you please. At pres
ent, bully coward knave, take that,
and that, and that 1"
And the wiry little Anglo-Frank was
as good as his word. In less time than
it takes to write it the great braggart
was rendered unpresentable for many a
long day. That number one caused him
to see fifty suns beaming in the firma
ment with his right eye; that number
two produced a similar phenomenon
with his left; that number three obliged
him to swallow a front tooth, and to ob
serve the ceiling more attentively than
he had hitherto done. And when one
or two other thats had completely cowed
him, and he threw open the window and
called for help, the strawberry-eater took
him by the neck and breeches and flung
him out of it on the flower-bed twlow.
The strawberry-eater remained a
month at Bordeaux to fulfill his prom
ise of giving the Count bis revenge. But
then again the bully met with more
than his match. The strawberry-eater
had Angelo for a master as well as Owen
Swift and after a few passes the Count,
who was too eager to kill his man, felt
an .unpleasant sensation in his right
shoulder. The seconds interfered, and
there was an end to the affair. It was
his last duel. Some one produced a
sketch of him as he appeared being
thrown out of the hotel window, and
ridicule so awful to a Frenchman rid
the country of him. The strawberry
eater was alive when the battle of the
Aimi was fought, and is the only man to
whom the above facts are known who
never talks about them. Temple Bar.
The Battle of Baaker tlill.
I will not try to tell over again the
story of the battle, for it is in every
school History, it is enough now to
know that at one o'clock the British
army landed in good order at Moulton's
Point, and immediately formed in three
lines, while the barges returned to Bos
ton for more troops, who arrived at
three; that the British, some three
thousand strong, advanced upon the
American works; that they were driven
back with fearful slaughter; that they
advanced again, with the flames of the
burning town to veil their movements.
and were again repulsed ; that they ral
lied again with reinforcements against
the Americans, who were not only worn
down with labor and fasting, but out of
ammunition ; and at about five o'clock,
after this bloody conflict of an hour and
a halt with raw volunteers, these picked
soldiers of the British army took posses
sion of the hill that had served them for
a retreat on the famous 19th of April,
with more than a thousand dead and
wounded as the price of their victory,
among these 22G being among the killed.
The Americans had 140 killed, 271
wounded, and 30 captured, or 441 in all,
in a force probably not exceeding fifteen
hundred men actually engaged. The
British, by the most truthful accounts,
had less than four thousand men engag
ed on the field, according to Mr. Rich
ard Frothingham's excellent history of
the battle, but he apparently does not
include the sailors and gunners in the
British ships who were so active in the
fight, and who killed the first American
in the fort.
That was a sad evening for Boston and
all the people around it The sun that
went down in splendor behind the ruins
of that burned town, after that day of
summer loveliness, shone upon a Gol
gatha of death. British and Americans
who had been in arms against each other
were one now ic the pain of wounds, the
agony of bereavement, and the need of
the Divine Comforter. The chimes of
Christ Church did not probably ring out
after the din of battle had ceased and
night came on, but they must have
tolled when Major Pitcairn's body was
brought there for the burial service and
interred under the church. He was a
brave and kindly man, who has appar
rently been misunderstood, and identi
fied with acts of atrocity which he ab
horred. His name heads the large list
of British officers who were killed or
wounded in the battle thirteen killed
and seventy wounded, a proportion so
large as to put this battle on a footing
with the carnage of Quebec and of Min
den. The losses on the American side
were not so many nor so conspicuous ;
but one man fell whose death was life to
his companions and bis cause, and, with
all allowance for local and personal
friendship and patriotic exaggeration,
there is no doubt that when Dr. Joseph
Warren died, New England liberty had
its martyr, and America had a hero who
fought for her thenceforth with weapons
that arc not carnal, and with a valor
that knows no weariness, and wants no
food or clothing or arms. Warren was
a noble man, and did a great deal for
the patriot cause, but his life and his
death meant more than he or any body
else knew at the time. He was, as we
shall see, a text out of the book, of hu
manity and of God that history was then
unrolling. Ifarper't Magazine.
A correspondent of one of the metro
politan journals states that he recently
prepared a package for the mail, and on
weighing it found that it required just
seven postage stamps of the three cent
denomination, but after putting on the
stamps the scale was turned for another
half ounce, the weight of the seven
stamps making it necessary, according
to postoffice rule, to apply another stamp.
In other words, says the correspondent,
"I" was obliged to pay three cents postage
on the seven stamps used in paying post
age on the letter. Is it right to compel
payment for the privilege of paying?"
Jones gave a lawyer a bill to be collec
ted to the amount of $30. Calling for it
after awhile, he inquired if it had been
collected. "Oh, yes," said the lawyer,
"I have it all for you." "What charge
for collecting f" "Oh," said the lawyer,
laughing, "I'm not going to charge you
why I have known you ever since you
was a baby, and your father before you ;
$20 will be about right" handing over
$10. "Well," said Jones, as he medi
tated upon the transaction, "It's darned
lucky he didn't know my grandfather, or
I shouldn't have got anything."
Cowden Clark tells a story of a gentle
man who lately in making a return of
his income to 'the tax commissioner,
wrote on the paper: "For the first
three years my income has been some
what under 150 ; in the future it will
be more precarious, as the man is dead
of whom I borrowed the money."
SHERIDAN'S BRIDE.
BT AOXXS UOXAED HILL.
. "Glorious things of thee are spoken"
Words befit a hero's bride;
Youth and wealth and fame and beauty,
Gifts that none may dare deride t
Not for thee the smoke of contest,
Not for thee the cannon's roar.
Not the heart-break of the carnage
On the battle fields of gore:
All thy future lies before thee.
Fair as earth when Eden smiled ;
Thou art Eve, whom yet no Satan
Hath of Paradise beguiled.
What to thee a war of nations?
What the rar-ofi groan and strife?
Blessed art thou, oh happy woman,
For the splendor of thy lifel
Joy is thine, and peace and plenty,
Though tbou art a soldier's bride;
What dark grief, oh queenly beauty,
May'st thou not with smiles deride?
Heaven grant thy roses never
Hold a thorn to pierce thy heart!
Hay 'st tbou have no "Friend" to smite thee
With a worse than serpent's dart.
May no honeyed lips beguile thee,
With the smiles that women wear.
When tbey hide most trait'rous purpose
In a speech that seemeth (air.
Oh thou art so young and trusting
Stiangerl Bride! I give thee tears.
Praying that good angels keep thee
Through life's ever changeful years.
Touth and wealth and fame and beauty,
Gifts befit a hero's bride
I could wish for thee, fair stranger,
All that wisdom gives beside;
That thy lite, like some glad river,
Flowing onward to the sea,
Shall at last in Joys forever,
Still more blest and gracious be.
Chicago, June 7, 1875.
Nark Twain Advice te Little Girls.
Good little girls ought not to make
mouths at their teachers for every tri
fling offence. This retaliation should
only be resorted to under peculiarly ag
gravating circumstances. If you have
nothing but a rag doll stuffed with saw
dust, while one of your more fortunate
little playmates has a costly china one,
you should treat her with a show of
kindness nevertheless. And you ought
not to attempt lo make a forcible swap
with her unless your conscience would
justify you in it, and you know you are
able to do it.
You ought never to take your little
brother's chewing gum away from him
by force; it is better to "rope him in"
with promise of the first two dollars and
a naif you hud floating down the river
on a grindstone. In the artless simplic
ity natural to his time of life he will re
gard it as a perfectly fair transaction.
In all the ages of the world this emi
nently plausible fiction has lured the
obture iufant to financial ruin and dis
aster. If at any time you find it neces
sary to correct him with mud never on
any account throw mud at him, because
it will soil his clothes. It is better to
scald him a little for then you attain
desirable results; you secure his imme
diate attention to the lessons you are in
culcating, and at the same time your hot
-water will have a tendency to remove
impurities from his person, and possibly
the skin, also, in spots.
If your mother tells you to do a thing,
it is wrong to reply that you won't It
is better aud more becoming to intimate
that you will do as she bids you, and
then afterwards act quietly in the mat
ter, accor ling to the dictates of your
better judgment You should ever bear
in mind that it is to your kind parents
that you are indebted for your food and
your nice bed, and your beautiful
clothes, and for the privilege of staying
home from school when you let on you
are sick. Therefore you ought to respect
their little prejudices and humor their
little whims, and put up with foibles un
til they get to crowding you too much.
Good little girls always show marked
deference for the aged. You ought nev
er to "sass" old people unless they "sass"
you first.
The Drawia;-oit Dtdge.
The Fifth Avenue young ladies are
telling this story:
The other evening at a fashionable re
ception, a well known old maid from
Boston, whom we will call Miss Warren,
was promenading in the conservatory
with one of our well known New York
young gentlemen. As the music stopped
the two seated temselves under a palm
tree, and the following dialogue oc
curred:
Boston Old Maid Nobody loves me
my dear Mr. Withington, nobody.
Young Fellow Yes, Miss Warren,
God loves you, and your mother loves
you.
Boston Old Maid Mr. Withington,
lets go in.
And five minutes afterward Miss War
ren was trying the drawing-out dodge on
another fellow. Zt Perkins.
Green Peas. Have the hands and
the dishes clean in shelling, so that the
peas need not be washed before cooking.
If the pods are very nice and sweet, they
may be conked in the water before the
peas are put in ; but usually this does
not pay. Have the peas a little more
than even foil of water, and cook them
twenty minutes after they begin to boiL
As the season advances, cook them lon
ger. Be sure to nave them tender, but
do not cook them after they are tender.
If done too soon, let them stand hot
without cooking. Serve warm, full of
juioe, and if you wish for the full benefit
of the sweet pea flavor, serve without
seasoning.
AaitUraey's Effective Advice.
If to serve a client faithfully by the
adoption of every means to 'advance his
cause is a moral obligation, then Attor
ney Stubbs, of Solano, California has got
a credit mark upon the book of the Re
cording Angel. A very bad case of pris
oner, a reprobate known as "Little Mil
ler," was convicted of forgery, notwith
standing the strenuous efforts of Stubbs
in his behalf, and was brought before the
judge for sentence. When asked if he
had any thing to say, ''Little Miller"
did not remain silent He had a good
deal to say, and he said it,. He wept
like a child, and spoke as one who had
erred in a moment of impulse, for which
he was to atoue by years of contrition
and well doing. Every one in court was
affected, and the emotional sensation ex
tended even to the Judge on the bench.
Mr. Stubbs spoke of the physical weak
ness of his client and the prospect that
his life would be ruined by a long
term of imprisonment. Then the Judge
sentenced Miller for only one year. Af
ter it was all over, Miller was questioned
by a fellow-prisoner as to the cause of
his extraordinary grief, and the reply
was: "Stubbs told me to cry like a son
of a gun, and the Judge would be light
on me, and I did it" Mr. Stubbs is ev
idently a great man.
Felt Aggrieved. Several days ago
a detective arrested a man about fifty
years old who was hanging around one of
the depots, believing him to be the man
wanted by Cleveland parties for burg
lary. After keeping the man locked up
for four days he was set at liberty. When
told that he could depart, he said to the
detective:
"I don't think this is right"
"Mistakes will happen." was the reply.
"Yes, I know, but you kept me locked
up four days, and I feel aggrieved about
it I think you can afford to treat to
the beer!"
A glass of beer settled the case to his
satisfaction. Detroit Free Press.
About seven years ago a party of hunt
ers from Alleghaney City, Pa., went to
Erie to hunt ducks on Presque Isle pen
insula. One of the party, Mr. Chas. L.
Hutchinson, lost a valuable gold watch
and chain among the numerous little
ponds that intersect the peninsula. Long
and diligent search was made, and no
trace of the watch being found, the
search was given up as a hopeless one.
Mr. Hutchinson went back to Alleghany
City but could not forget his loss, the
watch being a gift from a deceased friend.
Seven years have passed since then.
Last week while in Erie on a visit, he
felt a strong inclination to renew the
search, and alone he again went over
the ground formerly traveresed by him.
While sitting down among the bushes to
empty his boots of the sand that had
just got into them, he chanced to cast
his eyes upward, when to his intense sur
prise and joy he saw the watch and chain
hanging to the limbs of a small sapling,
just as they had hung there seven years
before, when the young twigs now
grown quite large had jerked them
from his pocket ! The wood of the sap
ling had grown over and about the
chain, holding it firm. Mr. Hutchinson
cut off the branch within which the
chain was embedded. The watch has
been cleaned and repaired, and is now
keeping as good time as in former years.
The experiment made in London, in
which either oil or glycerine is made to
perform the functions of steam by the
same means the application of heat
have excited no small interest The
heat expands the oil placed in small
cylinders, and from it it is claimed, a
pressure of ten thousand pounds per
squave inch may be obtained without
the danger of steam explosions, which
latter prevent the use of a pressure of
more than two hundred pounds to the
square inch generally. In this instance,
it is asserted, an explosion would only
crack the cylender containing the oil.
The application of this process appears,
from the account published, to have
been successfully made to the printing
press and to machines for riveting and
punching, and it is alleged that the va
riety of uses of which it is susceptible
will be found very great
An Irish lecturer thus endeavored to
prove that the late John Staurt Mill waa
not a "human" man: "An unnatural
and laborious child, he took so delight
in the proper amusements of youth,
spending the hours that ought to have
been devoted to fairy tales in the study
of the Greek grammar and Euclid ; grow-,
ing np without the hope of relaxation ia
this world or of enjoyment hereafter;
working out the knowledge of many
sciences and yet ignorant of men, and
spending what love his shrivelly heart
might have bad for women ob the love
of abstract ideas."
Some smarty writes and many papers
have -quoted the following sentence:
"Forty girls will ma after a snob with a
gold-headed cane where one will shy up
to a fellow with good sound horse sense."
When we say that forty men will ran
after a flirt who can sing a little and
thump on a piano, to where one will shy
up to a plain, hard sense girl who k ana
ashamed to help her mother get dinner,
the owe stands about even.