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RAISED MOM SICK BCD.
HE GOES P IN THE CLOUDS The accident by the wrecking of the I freight train on which my chum and myself were touring the country, Viewing the scenery through an auger hole in the side of a box car, was a darn sight worse than I thought It was. What a come down it was for me, who hare always traveled with pa, in a parlor car, to have to ride In a box car, with live stock, and feast on dog biscuit, Instead of ordering from the menu In a dining car. No one likes the luxuries of foreign travel any better than 1 do, but that freight car experience showed me that we do not know when we are well off, but when a boy goes out into the world to make his fortune, and cuts loose from home tics, and pie, and bath tubs, and a warm bed, and . victuals such sb mother makes, and winds up In a wreck, under a horse that does not know the name of, he Is going some. When we got to the hospital a law yer, who had chased the ambulance on a motor-cycle, retained me as his client and offered to sue the railway company for a million dollars' dam age, and he would furnish all the evi dence, and take half of what he got for his fee. I thought it was a good proposition, and probably I can own a railroad If I take stock for my dam ages, but I shall take nothing but money, apd let my lawyer have the railroad stock. Gee, but a lawyer is the greatest man on earth. This one has been riding alongside the railroad track on a motorcycle for years, wait ing for an accident, and when he se lected me for a client he Just cried for joy, and he has drawn a complaint against the railroad company that is a work of art. When he read it to me, and 1 saw how I had been broken up and dam aged by the soulless corporation, and how my promising career had been ruined, I never was so overcome in my life. While I was not hurt any, ex cept, where the horse laid on me and squeezed my dog biscuits In my stomach bo my backbone was poul ticed by the chewed biscuit, the law yer had the doctors at the hospital put my legs and arms in plaster of parts casts, and had my body done up in splints and bandages, and my face covered with strips of court plas ter, until nothing but my mouth was in working order, and I wore out a nurse bringing me things to eat, and I never enjoyed myself more In my life than I did in that hospital, Just He Said It was Hard for a Deserving Lawyer to Be Knocwa um w Million Dollar Fee. eating and being petted by good look ing nurses. My lawyer told me to groan all the time when anybody was present, and when a railroad lawyer called at the hospital to take an invoice of my wounds, and my lawyer was present to see that I groaned plenty, it was all I could do to keep from laughing, but my lawyer would run a paper knife Into my slats every time I Quit groaning, so we were working the rail road.all right, andth hospital doctors, who were going to have a share in the money; made a list of my broken bones, aai the railroad laTrsr wanted to be shown every break In my anato- nr. Well, things went on this way for several days, and I was getting ner vous from the plaster casts on me. I didn't like it very much when the railway lawyer offered to settle for $5, claiming I was a tramp stealing a ride, -but he brought my chum to see me, and my chum, who had his neck twisted around by a bale of hay falling on him, settled for $20, and ao I did the same, and when the nurses were asleep In the afternoon, my chum and me left the hospital with 40 good dollars, and started across the bridge The People Were Yelling as We 8hot Sitting on for St Louis, to find the air ships. We were sitting down on a railroad track, at the east entrance to the bridge, and I had taken off my clothes, and was breaking the plaster of parts off my limbs, when my lawyer came along on his motorcycle, on the way to the hospital to make me groan some more, and when he saw us he had a fainting spell, and when I told him we had been discharged as cured, he said It was hard for a deserving lawyer to be knocked out of a half million dollar fee by a dumb fool client who dldnt know enough to look out for bis own Interests, and be was going to have us arrested for high way robbery, but I told him I would n't have known what to do with so much money If we had kanoodled the railroad out of a million dollars, in addition to a free ride on its palatial freight car, and besides it would be cheating, and the lawyer drew a long a. Blgh and told us to get out or me uoy, mey saia msi irom lueir recui country and he would continue the lection of my tricks on my father they suit on the ground that we had been could readily see how a fatality might fered to throw us In the river, but we jumped on a street car and went pmk "ucm " " - had offered us a Job riding in balloons, We found the mm and he said they , were goini io iwrv iui iuiuonutu next morning and we could go along, my chum in one balloon and I in an - Up Into the Air, and I Saw My Chum a Dray. other, and all we would have to do was to throw out ballast when told to do so, and open cans of stuff to eat, and for us to buy thick sweaters, and show up at nine o'clock in the morn ing, and write the address where we wanted our remains sent to in case we were killed, and pin the address on our sweaters. It wasn't cheerful and my chum and I talked it over until late that night, and I am sorry to say my chum showed a streak of yellow, and he con fessed to me that he was a coward and came from a family of cowards, and that he didn't hare sand enough to go up in a balloon, and he would let me go up, but he would rather stay on the ground, where be could feel the earth with his feet, and watch the balloons. . . He said that people who go up in balloons were either crazy, or had met with some disappointment in life, and took the balloon method of committing suicide, and he would sidestep bal loons, and if the time ever came when he was tired of 'life, be would take a Job firing on an engine, or go into burglary, or get in love with some old man's wife, or marry a chorus girl, or something that would oc fatal, but on land. uu. I rioA hut T ma a rilnnnnolntAd In TTIT I m - .- i chum. He had been in a reform school, and I thought-he had gravel iu uio iiwi, w " w ' " - - x u pui luia IJ awl u iwvv w - chilblains, and so I went to the balloon cation with the outside world,' two op man in the morning alone, and told po-jog engineering parties are strenn him I had made my -will, and was ougy at worK p. c. Corbin, president ir o-n tin to ti'envpn or down to -i .1. r i.t.niitlniiil rillmill in his crop, but he proved to nave tne 1 muj w aw ' I Helena, Arkansas, any minute be was J 1 a M t.. VmA WnlVa-lAil SaMiV I ready, but my cbum had weakened and annA fllmmarinr at o I T ml in thai haaVat and looked I things over, and jumped out and in aevcriu uiu, avuu m.cu - 1 11. a . M.M wkj w. a tt a ni In It I uio m " -- 1 and they seemed pleased that I was til C IWU UlCU WUU WWB V K)W HJf f ? I A and IKav a B V O.A ma If T I thoncht mr father would kick II I wuiiju. - company noma uuou ajimuw ..v -- was killed or lost at sea, or anything, pr0Tinclal government of British Co in d I told them from my last eonrer- iumblA. satlon with pa I thought he would take It as a kindness if they should find it convenient to spill me out somewhere or lose me, and when they landed, if they could make affidavit ttat I bad been permanently disposed of, like a mess of kittens under water 1 a bag. with a stone in it, that pa would be willing to cough up quite a premium. That held them for a little while, and then they asked me who I was, anyway, and when I told them that I was the only original "Peck's Bad 1 an M M. 1 m 1 ue m Pleasing, aun lucjr crouicu re lieved of anr responsibility, and we went to work to get things in the basket, and they Instructed me wnat I was to ao. Thn haaket wn about nine feet - - square, and It bad more things in it " ueiicaiessen now. At about ten o'clock in the moraine. - - with thousands of people watching the 1 "u,i "Cbu '"v"1 " go Bliuunug iuiu luc mil, muu it nrua a race. The man told me that the balloon that went farthest from St Louis be fore being compelled to land would get the prize, and I began to feel anx ious to have our balloon win. I watched those that started first and they went up so far I could only see little specks In the sky, and I thought of balloons I had seen go up on fair grounds, where a girl sat on a trapeze bar, and jumped off, and a parachute opened and took her safely to the ground, and I looked around our balloon for a parachute, but there was none, and I wondered what would hap pen if the balloon came down, with Its gas all escaped like the fair ground balloon, and there Is where I came the nearest to weakening and climbing out, but I thought if I did I would be a coward like my chum, and then I thought If those two grown men, with families depending on them for sup port, were going up. they were not doing it for any suicidal purpose, and I could go if they could, and when the boss man Bald: "Now, Dub, if you want to stay ashore, this is your last chance," I said: "Your little Hennery Is ready to go where you go, and you can't tie her loose any too soon to suit me," and he patted me on the head and sold: "Hennery, you sure are game," and then all was ready and he said to them to let go. My heart went up and rubbed against my palate, and the balloon made a -Jump like a horse going over a five foot fence, ad vertising a brand of whisky, and we shot up into the air, the people yell ing, and I saw my chum sitting on a dray, driving a mule, and I thought of the difference between a brave boy and a mucker like my chum, the houses began to look smaller, until St Louis looked like play houses, with a ribbon of gray on the side of it, which was the river. The boss looked at a machine and said we were five miles high, and I thought how I had always enjoyed high life, and I was trying to get my heart swallowed down where it be longed. The balloon basket was as steady as a house, and I got up and looked over the side of the basket, and It seemed awful, 'cause I had never been hi cher than the top of a 20-story build ing before, and I began to weep tears, and the air seemed queer, and I was Just going to faint when the boss told me to open a can of lobsters, and I woke up. (Copyright. 1908. by W. O. Chapman.) (Copyright In Great Britain.). WILL TAP VAST COAL FIELDS. New Railroads to Northwest Will Make 45,000,000,000 Tons Accessible. Fortr-flve billion tons of coal, to- eluded in the greatest coal fields in western North America, will be avail ahia as soon as railroad extensions now in progress tapping the Crows Nest Pass region are completed, going far towards averting the predicted fuel famine, says the Techlncal wona. mki. AtiAuaA la lnnatpri In a I1UI YBDl Oil 1 vui- ------- 'i cn v nn mlloa In extent. reviuiB" "v - - comprising 80,000 square miles or !,- 200 000 acres. To put this tract in direct communl- 1 Hit? OjfUUUv iuwiimw . naa secured a charter from the provin- . . . a. - at nll.V fl.t.. M lt am cial government of British Columbia ior a raiirvau wuuwwwu -- ji r. Mlnhal Tl C. for a railroad connecting with tne tnd extending In a southerly direction 1 4 tnilOS. uonsirucuou gauga . . . . 1 ipvia Hma m me neio ruiuiug mvtm. nnAn M. i.nda in 17 sections, a . . . a li. V . Tlifa tin A . . asaa wtiti.1i tYtm total of 10.800 acres, for which the ... J . . m m a,a 9fm tVtt Although but a few miles from the mouth of the river Thames, noted for its togs, the atmosphere of Herns bay, England, is rarely obscre-L After All Hope Had Vanlshad. Mrs. J. II. Bennett, 69 Fountain St, Gardiner, Me., says: "My back used to trouble me so se verely that at last 1 had to give up. I took to my bed and stayed there fonr months, suffering in tense pain, dizziness, headache and In flammation of the bladder. Though without hope, I be gan nslng Doan'a Kidney Pills, and In three months was completely cured. The trouble has never returned." Sold by all dealers. 60 cents a box. Ftater-Mllburn Co., Buffalo, N. T. NAME WAS A COMPROMISE. Explanation of Remarkable Cogno men of Nevada Town. A Nevada man having extensive mining claims in the goldfleld region tells of a lucky strike that was made last year near Carson City, a strike that prored to be of such promise that a goodly sized camp immediately sprang up around it The two principal mine owners were, respectively, an Irishman and a' Jew, and as a compliment to these leading citizens the camp decided to leave to them the bestowal of a suit able name upon the new community. There wllowed many conferences between the two, none of which result ed In an agreement The Irishman stood out for a name that would sug gest his native Isle, while the Jew waa Just as insistent, on his part for a name that should be suggestive of the chosen people. This deadlock con tinued so long that the rest of the camp grew restless, and finally insist ed that there should be a compromise. So the new camp was called "TIpiwo salem." Llpplncott's. NOT DOLLARS, BUT EGGS. First Thespian When I was play ing in Kansas City and getting my 200 a night Second Ditto Hold on, there, Monty; make that five! First Thespian No, Jack; upon my honor 200 a night regular. Eggs are cheap there. Youthful Criminals. Two bad little boys were standing on the street corner, when another well-dressed little boy passed on nil way to the drug store to buy candy. "Let's take his penny away from him," one bad boy suggested to the other. "No," replied his wicked companion, "it's best to wait until he goes In and buys chocolate with it, and then we'll steal the chocolate. Wot's the use of doln' extra work 7" Was Used to It On a very hot Sunday morning 7&mes was required to accompany hut father to church. That was contrary to his inclina tion. "Father," said he, "why need peo ple go to church when it is so hot?" "My son," his father replied, "Sata la around as much in hot weather as at any time." "Oh," said the boy, "but Satan does not mind hot weather!" NO GU8HER But Tells Facta About Postum. "We have used Postum for the past etrtit vcars.M writes a Wis. lady, "and drink It three times a day. We never tire of it "For several years I could scarcely eat anything on account of dyspepsia, bloating after meals, palpitation, alck headache In fact was in such misery and distress I tried living on hot water and toast for nearly a year. "I had quit coffee, the cause of my trouble, and was using hot water, but this was not nourishing. . "Hearing of Postum I began drink ing it and my ailments disappeared, and now I can eat anything I want without trouble. "My parents and husband had about the' same experience. Mother would often suffer after eating, whDe yet drinking coffee. My husband was a great coffee drinker nd suffered from indigestion and headache. "After he' stopped coffee and began Postum both ailments left him. Hs will not drink anything else bow and we have it three times a day. I coul I write more but am no gusher on! state plain facts." Name given by Postum Co, Battla Creek. Mich. RcaJ "The Road to WeUville," in pkgs. "There's a Reason, Ever read the above letter? A new ene appears from time to Urns. They are genuine,. true, and full of hums Interest,