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Ambulance Service
Phone 35
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IC. W. GATH CO. I
Funeral Directors
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jjl WE WISH OUR MANY FRIENDS
)$ ANI) PATRONS
1Flew IJear
Chicago Meat Market Co.
118 HIGH STREET
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FINEST JOB PRINTING AT THE NONPAREU,
1 Happy New Year!
We hope the twelve muscles it takes
to make a smile on your face work
overtime during 1927—
And the 26 it takes to bring a frown
—lose their job.
136 High Street Hamilton, Ohio
Opposite Court House
.:"V .. •. :.4• y
A Leader For
i Y o u
jj
Chairs and Tables Rented
17 So. Sfeet
MILL/
I
JUICY MELON
Sliced For Steel Trust
Stockholders
NeV York.—Wall street enjoyed one
of its famous melon cuttings when
steel trust officials announced a $200,
000,000 Christmas gift to stockholders
in the form of a 40 per cent stock
dividend. The trust's strong box still
holds $500,000,000 undivided profits.
The stock dividend means that
$200,000,000 in profits are placed in
capital account and the,trust's capital
is increased to that amount by in
creasing stock. Steel trust stock has
a market value of $160 a share. If
a person owns 100 shares he will re
ceive 40 additional shares, and his
$70 annual interest income per share
will be $90.80.
Insiders hold large blocks of this
stock that three years ago sold for
as low as $85 a share. One hundred
shares at that price ($85), together
with the present stock division, now
have a market value of $22,400.
The steel trust's policy is to pile
up profits, plough them back into the
business and issue stock in an equal
amount to stockholders. During this
pyramiding of profits wages and hours
of emp'oyes' are not changed until
the trust is forced to act through
fear of trade unionism or an aroused
public opinion that the organized
workers develop.
INJUNCTION JUDGE
CHECKED BY COURT
Charleston, W. Va.—The state su
preme court set aside a six-months'
jail sentence that Injunction Judge
Lazzelle, of Monongalia county court,
pronounced on Van A. Bittner, inter
national representative of the United
Mine Workers' Union. The unionist
was charged with violating an in
junction. The judge is accused by
the West Virginia Federation of Labor
with receiving coal royalties from coal
operators to whom he has granted in
junctions. The workers demand that
he be impeached.
Elite Bakery
i^
Fruit Cake
Fancy Cake
Pecan Rolls
Springerle
Pfeffernusse
Assorted Mints
Chocolates
Salted Nuts
Ice Cream
Sherbets
Mousse
Whipped Cream
In any quantity
212 High St.
CVfctSS W.tS\OT-»*CX
Wittman Tent Awning
jst 339 s seccwp sreeer
HAM/LTO* OH/O
IS YOUR TRUSS
COMFORTABLE?
If not, come to us. Expert
truss fitting assured by our
many years' experience. Our
priced are most reasonable.
Bring us your truss problems.
Confidential advice free.
ALSO
Arch Supporters
Abdominal Supporters
Ankle Braces
Elastic Stockings
Shoulder Braces
Wrist Supporters
Athletic Supports
Radcliffe Drug Co.
Forty-Five 'Years
Grocer
M'
Tactful Thomas
CfiWsfopfor G.'HJk
'JjfT
WAS with smiling resolution,
but also with invincible vanity,
that Mr. Thomas Sprlggs greeted
the sunshine of a New Year's morning,
lie had determined to be socially ac
tive and pleasant, but he had failed
to reckon with himself. In assuming
that everybody would be glad to see
him he had forgotten that his previous
faithfulness to calling lists had not
always seemed to hit the mark. If
some kind friend could have advised
and convinced him about his faculty
of getting into situations wrong and
his ability for saying the things he
did not mean to say, he might have
profited by counsel, but, as the case
was, his powers In these directions
were unimpaired. He was still un
aware of the fact that he was Iron
ically known as Tactful Thomas.
Thus It was that the day opened
characteristically as he shook hands
with old man Young and, after tlu
usual New Year wish, stepped on his
favorite corn by an unfortunate com
parison. Mr. Young was on the oth^r
side of soventy, but fond of Imagining
himself as young as ever, and a mutual
acquaintance of the two was this side
of that meridian, but with the looks
of Methusaleh. "How old do you
think our friend Smithers is?" asked
Young. "Well, I should say about
sixty," replied Mr. Sprlggs, "but ho
looks as old as you do I" The conver
sation was then abruptly ended.
Nothing daunted by Mr. Young'.
failure to appreciate Ms wit, Mr
Sprlggs proceeded to find his next vic
tim, gayly wishing himself a happy
New Year. On his way to
Miss
Bump's reception he fell In with Mr
Ignatius Friendly, his pastor for
many years, and still holding the of
flee. But he presently fell out with
Mr. Friendly as follows: "I see," says
Sprlggs, "I see that the. other church
Is about to lose Its pastor. He's been
In our town only about three years
and now has a call to BIgville. They
don't keep a good man long In BUp
town!"
Arriving at the Bump homestead
Just In time to be rather late, Mr.
Sprlggs again distinguished himself In
his anxiety ^o promote social fellow
ship by introducing a young lady
friend of some forty winters to one of
the literary Hons present. Unfortu-
"It Wont Be Long Now."
uately he forgot the name of the lady,
so
he escaped from his dilemma and
fell Into a new difficulty by saying,
"Professor Fox, let me make you ac
quainted with—with—with Miss—with
one of our old standbys!"
After tills, Spriggs, all unabated,
presented himself at the Gladbys in
time to say to Judge Upright, who was
approaching the age limit set upon his
office, "It won't be long now, Jud&e,
before you will have to go 'way back
and sit down."
Perhaps the most interesting adven
ture of this colorful day occurred at
the Robinson party. There he grew
increasingly careless, until he finally
took his leave with a crowning bon
mot. Ao Mrs. Robinson kept her up
stairs room during the festivities, ob
account of a rather severe indisposi
tion, her daughter, Miss Allura, had
done the honors, and to her he made
his adieus: "Give my best regards to
your mother, Miss Robinson," he said,
"and tell her that I hope that she will
soon be down and out!"
Talking with his landlady that eve
ning, Mr. Spriggs heard from her that
there are many queer people in the
world. When he replied that this
would undoubtedly continue to be the
case after they both had left It, the
good lady overlooked the implication
and wished him good night.
Nothing Interfered with the slum
bers of Mr. Spriggs. No ghostly con
sciousness of an imperfect New Year's
day seemed to stand accusingly about
his bed. He awoke the next morning
to ptft on the magnifying glasses of
conceit with fresh assurance. He will
fare forth on January 1, 1927, to com
mit new depredations upon the con
ventionalities of society. But people
will wish him a happy New Year Just
the same. They know that he means
well with it all and they take his mis
takes as contributions to the merri
ment with which we all desire to en
ter upon new and promising eras.
Some day he will laugh at himself,
and, although that would deprive us
of amusement, it will do him good. If
we could see ourselves as others see
us, who would dare to be funny? And
If we are queer it avoids monotony
and gives us of that variety which has
been called the spice of life.
(©, 1^26, Western Newspaper Un!-T:.)
FEW &HAMMOND
Move Horse Shoeing Shop
The new firm of'Few & Hammond,
horseshoers and blacksmiths, have
moved the horseshoeing shop from
Court street to 522 Maple avenue. The
court street shop was conducted by
John Few himself for many years and
lately has been the only horseshoeing
shop in the central part of the city.
Owing to the increase in the business
and with a desire to branch out, Few
has taken a partner into the business
with him, Mr. Len. E. Hammond, of
Riley, Ohio. Mr. Hammond has been
blacksmith for twenty-seven years
and comes to Hamilton well recom
mended in his line of work.
Besides horseshoeing, the new firm
of Few & HammoncT will also do gen
eral repair work and blacksmithing.
The new location at 522 Maple avenue
is ideil for this class of work. The
building has been remodeled and with
up-to-date tools and equipment they
are in a position to turn out work
promptly.
The Press wishes the new firm of
Few & Hammond all kinds of suc
cess. Hop to it, Irish.
GLOSS OFF
Will remove the wearshine from
Ladies' and Gents' garments. Get
the better kind of Cleaning, Repair
ing and Remodeling done at Kappel's,
162 N. street. Phone 2617-L
iWCWTI
For Sale
Barron strain larjre type purebred White
Leghorn baby chicks, $10.50 hundred. Chicks
are very strong and stand cool weather better
than hot weather.
Everlay strain Brown Leghorns, $11.50
hundred.
Sheppard strain single comb Anconas, $14
hundred.
Owens and Donaldson strain Rhode Island
Reds, S14.85 hundred.
Thompson strain Barred Rocks, $14.85 hun
dred.
White Rocks, $16 hundred.
All good, healthy, strong purebred guaran
teed.
We pay postage charges and guarantee live
arrival on all baby chicks.
I'ullets of any breed listed, $1.50 each.
Cockerels, good size, $3 each.
Poultry book on feeding and raising chicks
and pullets, $3 postpaid.
THE FULGHUM HATCHERY
G1RARD, OHIO
MIDNIGHT
FROLIC
TICKETS
$1.00 and Tai
&
5%
ON SAVINGS
TM8 COLUMBIA SAVINGS
LOAN
ca
MHOcmM MM
ON ALL SAVINGS
Compounded Semi Annually
The West Siie Building
and Loan Association
Main and Streets
Baby Chicks
&
&
&
&
&
5%
WE
PAY
FO
K E N
The Labor Temple Auditorium. For dances, bazaars, parties, etc.
Inquire of the Trustees, or phone 1296 for dates.
NOTICE
UNION MEN AND FRIENDS
Winchester shotguns, rifles and shells are unfair to
organized labor. Have been declared so by Metal Polishers'
International Union and American Federation of Labor.
METAL POLISHERS' LOCAL UNION No. 43. I:
EVERY GOOD WISH
FOR A
HAPPY AND
PROSPEROUS
NEW YEAR
fllusie Store.
NEW
PALACE
Happy New Year!
Have You Bought Tickets
FOR THE
New Year's Eve
Midnight Frolic!
FRIDAY, DECEMBER 31, AT 11:30 P. M.
THERE ARE STILL SOME CHOICE SEATS TO BE HAD
Join the frollickers at the Palace and usher in the. New Year amid scenes of
Joy and Happiness
THE BEST SHOW OF ITS KIND EVER GIVEN IN HAMILTON
Big Musical Review—Vaudeville
A SNAPPY ENSEMBLE OF PRETTY GIRLS
Return of Glenn Wortendyke to Palace Orchestra and Songs by Plrfl Colelntim
WAGNER PIANO
jifflnV*
&
&
&
&
&
&
ALL SEATS
for FR0UC
ARE
RESERVED