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s n " 10- (EVENING PUBLIC LEDGER PHlL'Af)EL?HIA,i MONDAY. OCTOBER 6, 1919 . , rr' W K l ! iyNx f m i Isuenmg public Sfeiigcr i. PUBLIC LEDGER COMPANY f ' . ,CT?.uf' " K CURTIS rIDtNT Martin, SrMarv ani Trdium Philip B Cilllna. hn P. wllllama, John J Spurgeon, Directors EDIIORIAL HOAHD: Crjos H K. Cmtit, Chairman DAVID E. SMILET Editor JOHN C. iiARTIN.. General Eualncta Manager PubllahM dally at TcBttc I.cpoeh Ilulldlnir. Atuntio Cm 1'EW YOBK.i DtTXOIT ... Ft. Licit.. Cmcioo , , jnurprnuence bquaxe, i-nuaneinnia, Pr...jt.I7nfmi nulMtne 208 Metropolitan Towfr . ...rJl Tord nulldll-T ions I'nllfrion ilulMInc .1302 Tribune Building UHEAVS: NEWS . tvatniMiTnv uinrtu. N. 11. Cor. rennsjlvanla Av. and tlth St. New yokk lUnruu . Th Sun HulLlIng Lo.MtON Dutac London rimes suBcnii'TioN Tcnyt Tha Evcmvo Pi PLir Lrmm l pervert to pub crtr-ers In Philadelphia and purroumllrts towns t the it of twelve 112) cents per week. pavabla to the carrier I3v mall to point outMdt) of rhtladelphla. In the United States, Canadi, or United States po pehalnns. potace free, fifty ,Mi) cents per month Sir (10! dollars iw year parable in advance. To all foreign countries one. ($1) dollar per month. NoTifr SnWrlberw lhlnc mldress cnanred must give old as well ns new address. ' BELL. 3000 WALNUT KE1 STONE. MAIV 3000 C Address o!f ewmmunlcodoiu (o Etculiifl Pub ta Ledger, 'ndcpcHdcnco Square, J'ltt'rdrjp,! n Member of the Associated Press ' THE ASSOCIATED PRESS h cxr'u slvctu entitled to the use for republication of all news dispatches credited to it or not otherwise credited In this paper, and alio the local new? published therein All rights of republication of special dis patches herein are also icsertcd Philidrlphia. Mondi, Otlobtr 6, 1111 BANNING TRANSIT ARCHAISMS "PHERE are atavisms in public utilities - just as there are in biology. Une of them is Sansom street as a factor in trolley routes. Several years ago the P. R. T. manage ment was wise in abandoning that nar row thoroughfaie as an cast and west section of its "L" shaped surface lines. Today the indication that it may use Locust street for "looping" the Tenth and Eleventh, Twelfth and Thirteenth and Fifteenth and Sixteenth streets lines Is further encouraging cidencc of the company's utility to disentangle itself from- awkward tradition in handling its transit problems. The value of both Sansom and Filbert streets for trolley service passed away when central Philadelphia became over crowded. The key to progress in this city is to forget how things used to work and to illumine the changed modern sit uations with independent vision. PRODUCE, INCREASE, MULTIPLY rpHE United States Council of National - Defense has undertaken a campaign of education concerning the high cost of living; indicating the cause and sug gesting a remedy. .It is old stuff; and true as it is old. The-cause was war waste. The remedy is increased production. The fact that the council finds it nec essary to start a campaign of education indicates where the remedy should be initiated: With the workers. The council speaks vaguely of punish ing profiteers and hoarders; but it is ,. difficujt to take adequate precautions against or steps toward punishing a crime that has not been legally defined. And its wish for "better co-operation and method in distributing and market ing goods" is praiseworthy rather than helpful. There is need for these things. The need was there before the war be gan. But it is a trifling detail of a big subject. What we need is more goods; then more goods; and then still more goods. Because appreciation of the fact is all that will save the world from disaster, the work of education being undertaken by the council is worth while emphasiz ing. ENLIVENING THE TREATY VTO MATTER what the Senate does to -- the treaty, it is extremely likely to be soon in force for four nations. The large majority in favor of the pact in the French Chamber of Deputies is 'valid indication that the French Sen ate will soon complete the job. Britain has already approved the document. It is the immediate expectation that Italy will do so by royal decree. The Fiume tangle has nothing to do with this sub ject. All the territorial adjustments affecting Italy are involved in the Aus trian treaty. With Britain, France, Italy and Ger many in line, the treaty, by the terms of Article 440, will come into operation. But it will be in force only for those nations which have signed up. In other words, the agreement of four nations is necessary before the official establish ment of any peace at all. After that any other country can have peace or not, just as it chooses. THE SUGAR SHORTAGE AMERICA is throwing candy bouquets . on the grave of John Barleycorn. " Chase a man from the saloon and he'll Tun to tne candy store. Balk his willing ness to imbibe spirits and his weak flesh demands sugar. We have it from a member of the pugar rehners' committee that last month 60,000 tons more sugar were con sumed than in the same month last year. ' That's at the rate of 4,320.000 barrels a 'year. Add to this that the war has decreased European production and you have the cause of the sugar shortage. But though prices go up, there is no ground for despair. The coming Cuban crop will prevent famine, and sooner or later prices will be stabilized. Inr the meantime let us cultivate a tweet -disposition, for which no sugar iu needed. . 'v " PASSING OF HINDENBURG HOW deeply the militaristic idea was ingrained in the German conscious ness was shown during the war by the tSrection in Berlin of the giant wooden Kludenburg monument. U , Hindenburg was the god that was to lead them to victory and pails driven ' tnjo Ws statue stood for the "money which -maw matte wm man ui iron anc w- vmeaa. z -- -.. ;.me . m . - .. f B hirapiper rotted and n' nails. i.i rutted, and the victory his followers hoped for was turned to defeat. This week the monument is to be torn down. But with the exploits of Von der .Goltz in the Baltic states bcfoie us thero is small ground for hope that the people have changed their ideals. It must be simply that they need the nails. ALL THE COUNTRY IS WeArY OF ALL SORTS OF RADICALS Three Great Conferences to Seek a Sane Middle Course Between Opposed Ex tremists in Industrial Disputes TN T -1- rail THE steel regions, in the British railway strike, in Russia and even in the drawing rooms where bolshevism succeeded jazz in flie list of fads the tides of red fienzy are beginning to re cede. Pittsburgh, it now appears, was to have had a soviet with millionaires cleaning the streets an'd begging plain tively for biead while ecstatic Lithuanian puddlers rode m their limousines and heaved objets d'nrt at the police. That sort of thing will not be. It would do nobody any good. And,-, be sides, it wouldn't be fair to the Pitts burgh millionaires, who, no matter what you say about them, have worked harder in their day than any Lithuanian with led leanings ever did or ever will. Piactical bolshevism has given Russia some pleasant dreams. But the popula tion cannot supply itself with the neces sities of life. Lcuuie is feeling for peace. The silent opinion of intelligent people m and out of trades unionism is defeat ing ladicalism in England just as it is defeating Foster and his associates in the United States. The pendulum, everybody is saying, has begun to swing backward. How far will it go? That it may not swing too far in the opposite duection everybody with good sense and a decent regard for the common welfaie will devoutly hope. Jubilant hvmns of praise are already gathering volume under the white osts of the world. It is already clear that some of the loudest of th"m will carry a note of hatred. It is not bolshevism that we have to fear in this country. It is a violent and extreme leaction after the futile and troublesome demonstration of amateur levolutionists. if the present hubbub is to bring about a revival of the brutal and defiant ma terialism that in years bcfoie the war left communities depressed, bewildered, ignorant, overdriven, desperate and dis illusioned, then we shall have learned nothing m the costly experience of the last four years. We shall have pro gressed not at all. There is a vanishing type of would-be industrial baron who plainly anticipates with a sense of victory some such culmi nation as this. He is not lepresentative. He crowds to the front at intervals to speak for a world of industry that, though it shares none of his delusions, is too busy to speak for itself. They are the odd fish of the period. The oddest thing about them is that they are sincerely convinced of their own vir tue. You probably would find that each of them feels somehow assured that ulti mately, m heaven, lie will bo able to show them how to care for their desti tute and keep their poor in order. Industry in America has often been as unfortunate as labor in its choice of spokesmen. Schwab, Hoover, the younger Rockefeller with his new social conscious ness, Rea and Atteibury, of the Pennsyl vania Railroad, and Mitten, of the P. R. T., suggest in their various ways the actual trend of opinion now dominant in the industrial life of the country. Their views are far nearer the views of the active working army of American indus trial leaders than are those of an occa sional conspicuous reactionary with moie time for the spotlight. Men and women who actually do rep resent the rational aspirations of labor and industry and the people and the country will try to make themselves heard above the turmoil at three confer ences to be held in Washington during the present month. The work of the industrial conference that is to open today and of the Woman's Trade Union Congress and the great In ternational Labor Congress which will assemble later will be quite as impor tant in a general way as anything at tempted recently m the House or the Senate. It w ill be the aim of these conferences to formulate a new philosophy of indus trial relations, to dismiss the conflicting doctrines of the divine right of money and the diwne right of strength with which capital on the one hand and labor on the other have been deluding them selves for years. Industrial relation ships are to be minutelv surveyed in a culminating effort to find a basis for fixed peace between forces that are quite as potential for good or ill as any two mutually suspicious nations m Europe. Representatives of labor, of industry and of governments are assigned to the task of protecting the country at large and civilization in general from hard boiled employers and inflammable neu rotics who would like to rule the world with the assistance of organized labor. One of the inexplicable phenomena of American politics is the attitude of aloofness which official Washington haB majntained toward the plan to relieve the economic processes of the country' from the influence of extremists of op posed types. Mr. Wilson, Mr. Taft and Mr. Hoover are the only men with political influence of high potentiality to manifest an ac tive interest in the aims and plans of the three great labor conferences. Campaigners for the presidency seem concerned mostly with Shantung, Fiume and the league of nations. Yet in any real emergency we could cut away from the issues of Fiume and Shantdng. Far more important is peace and the adjust ment of differences between the two forces that direct the destiny of the United States from within. Anything fthat limited initiative in America, wouwDe ' unwunai aumiiiy, If in this country men are not to have a right to the rewards and fruits of their industry and talent, we shall have to depart from the one principle that has been an animating force behind civilization from the first. It is possible to recognize' and admit the truth of this and at the same time to Insist that the accident of poverty should never be per mitted to operate to leave great masses of men, women and children defenseless against systems of exploitation and op pression. That sort of thing is bad for everybody. It is bad for the country. The test of a politician's fitness for high office in the United States might ac tually be found in his attitude toward the October labor and industrial conferences. The man who first turns his face to the future rather than to the past in efforts to find an answer to what is now tho most important question in tho woild may be expected to be seriously consid ered for the presidency. MOORE AS TRUE REFORMER f HAMPTON MOORE has an admir ." able lecord of fidelity to his princi ples. If, as there is every reason to believe, it is unbroken, his coming term of office as Mayor will be free from the unsavory blight of political assessments. A significant sentence in his Washing ton letter to this newspaper last Satur day clearly defines his position. "If the new Mayor of Philadelphia," declares Mr. Moore, "succeeds in cnfoicing the law against political assessments he will help the officeholders and set a good ex ample to the Republican paity m the nation." It was logical to expect that this would be his attitude. But it is invig orating to read his stern and explicit disapproval of an indefensible tyranny which has so lpng been a prime factor in the continuance of political corruption in this city. Naturally the officeholders, especially the "little fellows," resented their bondage, but they were helpless. Theie is really some hope that the police and firemen will be taken out of politics if they are no more to be compelled to pay tribute to the machine. ( Mr. Moore is a practical statesman. He knows how the political game in Philadelphia has been pla.ed. He knows also how to eliminate its crooked fea tures. After his inevitable election the public will watch with heartened interest the steps, already foiecast, taken to end a degrading outrage. The Ilnriard endow In the Good Old Dajs merit fund committee, which is trjitis to raNo the salaries of professors to tho level of that of a f.iirly good butler, draws atten tion to the fact that teachers got good pay in the days of Vespas'ian and Marcus Au rolius Antoninus. Some private instructors sot as miii'h as $300,000 a ear Queer how they managed tilings in the old days! Whv. tlmtS almost us much as a prize-fighter gets nowadavs. Air navigation is still MiHioieutly n c vv to p r o v i d e spectators witli thrills, and the over the citj recently of publieitv matter de When Thej Cease to Thrill O 1, which passed dropping "bombs" tailing the advantages of life in the navv. received interested attention; but, sooner or later, when the newness wears off, we maj look for ordinances prohibiting the dropping of literature from the air, for the reason that it may litter up the streets or frighten horses The (lerman (Joveru- Where the ment has issued a dc- Mark Stajs rrec ordering the re- moral of monarchical insignia from all buildings, stationery, ' stamps and other places. But in Bern liardi's recent pronouncement that Germany will yet wield the sword successfully there is evidence that the governmental decree is not sufficient to remove the insignia from the German mihd. A horse attadied to (jood for a the Tirst Division, Horse Laugh A 13 r , jumped from a Brooklyn pier three weeks ago and has just beeu found He was standing in three feet of water. It is be- lieved he lived on garbage and rested be neath piers between swims "Ain t he a bird!" exclaimed the forage master Yep a mud lark. Mrs Pridinorc, foun Foundry and Kitchen Irj woman of Chicago, attending the conven tion in this, city of the American Foundry men's Association, says there is a held for women in the foundries of the country. Doubtless, doubtless! But let us hope they will not wholly disdain the molding of pics with the old familiar tore. The assuniUon that Still Fighting the American Legion will go into politics is premature. But it may be taken for granted that the organization will bo a unit against any attempt of agitators to upset the demo cratic institutions for which ther risked their lives. There is cause for mingled regret and hopefulness in the confession of M. F Tighe before the Senate committee that the steel strike was precipitated by tho unions be cause of the fear of what the I W. 'w. vvould do regret that the I W V should have such power and hopefulness in that there are mn in the unions opposed to their methods. Scientists know that metals get tired, but as yet have found no meai's of discover ing how much they can stand before show ing fatigue. But they are experimenting and have hopes. Similar Conditions confront political orators in tho matter of their con stituents. A Frenchman has invented an adjust able gauge truck which enables a car to pass iiova wide to narrow tracks and back again without stopping It might be found useful in the Senate for the railroading of the peace treaty. If the populace chanced to ba as famil iar with the peace, treaty as it is with the batting averages of the world series con tenders Congress would have le6s ercuse for protracted conversation. The premier of Jugo-Slavia is stand ing rat on three aces Wilson, Lloyd George and Clemenccau. Respectfully submitted to strike com mittees eTery wheys: If you starve a cow you can't expect to milk her. The) nett President will nrnlmhW k. I fine weo-djusss uib una maoai, . DR. KRIEBEL DOES HIS BIT Educator Who Is Also Good Executive. Convention of the Great Unterrl. fled at Which Pat Foley Hit vthe Big Drum By GEORGE NOX McCAIN pLUMMER C. JEFFKRIS, of Chester - county, is a frequent visitor to Phila delphia. Ho has retired from public life. 4I do not know any one who is more de serving of release fr6m public care than Plummcr .Tffcnr. He has grown gray in th service of the people. And lie has left be hind him nn excellent record. A Republican, but an independent, he firct came Into prominence at the legislative ses fion of 16(17. Hit constituents thought so well of him that they returned him to the session of 1S00. It was at the latter session that Dr. John B. Rendall, the eminent educator and pres ident of Lincoln University at Oxford, was his colleague. Both were interested in the anti-Quay movement of that period. In the j ears that have elapsed since, Mr. Jefferis has tilled a number of offices hi Chester county, the last being that of major of West Chester. He has been particularly interested In education and was for years one of the trustees of the State Normal School at West Chester. Ho has been active as a contractor, and though still on the sunny side of seventy, has decided that his remain ing years shall be jears of rest. O. S KUIEBEL belongs to that L' cla as-s of educators who are business c- ecutives as well as directing heads of edu cational institution! Ho is principal of the Perkiomen School for Boys at Peunsburg. It began years ago as a modest preparatory school under the auspices of that rare but militant sect, the Schwcnkfeldcrr. Iu tho course of half a century it has grown to have hundreds of students, commodious buildings, acres of campus and all the requirements of an ad vanced preparatory school. Doctor Kriebel has been responsible for this. There is not a week in nine months of the year, I think, that his big high-power car cannot be seen on the streets of Philadel phia, Re-idiug, Hnrrisburg or Allcutown. And he is nlwajs intent on business per taining to the institution. There arc students this year iu attendance from seven foieign countries. Every returned soldier who applies is given a scholarship. It is expensive for the school, perhaps, but Doctor Kriebel believes that "doing jour bit" does not end with hostilities. The war lias drtne wonders for the ad vancement of education is the opinion of the doctor. It is due to a stimulated desire for higher education. "Deferred desires" play a big part, he says. Tho opportunity to realire the aspirations of young men for a higher education is now made possible. HOUSTON DUNN, after a summer spent with his family iu the heart of the Adi rondaeks, is back home. He is one of tho few insurance engineers iu this country. It is a profession that combines architec ture, construction and topographical engi neering. It has to do particularly with manufacturing plants, where fire prevention is the first essential. In this class arc uil refineries, chemical works, paint and djc plants and similar in dustries usually turned down in cold blood bv old-line insurance companies. The en gineering part has to do with the proper location of buildings, their contiguity to units of danger and everj thing that pertains to the elimination of danger from fire or explosion. Mil. DUNN was one of the two members of the Pennsylvania food administration who owed their appointment to Herbert Hoover. He wrote to the national food ad ministrator, whom he had never met, in September, 1017, offering suggestions for a campaign of instruction among farmers iu the production and ecouomic distribution of food. The idea came to him on one of his numerous automobile trips over the state. A month later he received a request to call at the headquarters of the food admin istration. Hoover had forwarded his letter of suggestions with the following laconic vommeut : "This man hns an idea. It looks good. Better sec him." The Pennsylvania administration adopted the Dunn idea and Dunn himself. It set him to working it out. It was Houston Dunn who, in the critical period iu the summer of 1018, arranged for the establishment ot emergency depots in Philadelphia where food could be sold with out profit should such a necessity arise. Fortunately the crisis passed without having to resort to this extreme measure. CHA of rtLES P. DONNELLY, titular head the unterrified Democracy in Phila delphia, real estate dealer and political philosopher, gets from his Chestnut Hill home to Broad and Chestnut every day. The time i for his appearance is between 10 and l'J o'clock. He mixes up business with his politics during his dally rounds of banks and brokers' offices. Charlie Donnelly Has lost a perceptible amount of bis partisau belligerency of twenty-five j-ears ago. He and the late Patrick Foley, of Pittsburgh, divided militant honors then at Democratic state conventions. In those dajs, when A. Mitchell Palmer was yet" an undergraduate at Swartbmore aijd dreamn of Democratic empire had not begun to flit through his sophomore brain; when Vance McCormick was nn inchoate politician, to whom Ben Myers, of Dauphin, was a sage to be revered, James SI. Guffey was the undisputed czar of the Jacksonian host. William H. Snowdeu, William Uhler Hensel, John Ancona, Victor Piolette and Congressman Tom Mutchler were state lead ers of prowess and renown. Pattison's two terras as Governor was a recurrent inspiration of hope that some day some other Democrat might grace the gubernatorial chair. They had real Democratic conventions then. Charlie Donnelly was not always as dig nified and suave as ho is today. He is mel lowing with the years. No Democratic state convention was complete in that era without a shindy. No make-believe, either. It was a red-letter day in Reading when the embattled hosts of Democracy let their combative instincts get away with their cold judgment. In his earnestness to protest against some unpopular ruling of the chair, Donnelly (purely by accident, of course) "pushed" Pat Foley off the stage and he fell through the bass drum in the or chestra. Those were g-r-r-and and t-1-o-rieus days, believe me. The music of the spheres is said to linger in Hawaiian okolebea. It is to the ukulele what the nightingale is to the crow. It is an angel's voice in a concourse of gweeb sounds. Ob, no, it is not a musical instrument a -tall, It is distilled moonshine ; a drink with a kick like a mule. France will soon seek Allied aid in the aettiement of financial problems, says a dis patch from Paris, And no real settlement Js jttlf until everybody' jets totvorktlie wtd world over. ' " . V f AND LISTENERS . 7 VSaXr- T-VSSMwirtH. .itiSJI-IJ . F-t. ! BM! - -i: Ifi fcaPKMHM fti ft Yr.iiT7'Sr . THE CHAFFING DISH Confessions In a Hash House T'M THROUGH! J- Seven years I've worked at this hash counter. Stooping down five hundred times a day To shout down the dumb-waiter to Pete (That Polack never pays any attention, I can't get a thing I ask for) And spilling a line of cheerful chatter To my customers. I should think men would get tired of kid ding. THOSE guys that are so particular, Send back their scrambled eggs for an other three minutes, - Must have tholrtomatocs on a side dish And not-on-tbo ineat, - - Gee, I'll bet when they're home They take -what comes to them And shut up about it. i And I'll bet that the fresh guys Who pull the jazz talk day after day Have mighty little to say at home. Men are a bunch of fakers : If I ever get one where I want him I'll make him behave. I'll bean him With a sad-iron. I SI TIRED of kidding the bunch. I'm tired of listening to their yap about what they like And what they don't like. Just for a change I'd like to see some one Como'fn here and order his lunch and eat it Without trying to be funny about it. If all this stooping wasn't so good for the figure , ,. (But, oh my back by six p. m. '.) I'da quit long ago. WELL, girls, I'm through. Next week I'm going to marry a fellow, And I don't mind. telling you, I'm in luc. He works in a restrunt on Girard avenue, So he won't ever be home to meals. 60 ne GERTRUDE. We always believe in going to headquar ters fdr our, Information, and to settle the question whether J. M. Barrie wrote Daisy Ashford's book we would long ago have written to Sir James to ask b m about it but his handwriting is so indecipherable that we would not know what he said. Seven vears ago we had a letter from Mr. Barrie, and we still take it out sometimes in the long winter evenings and try to read it. Our own expert's condensation 'of "I'm Forever Blowing Bubbles" has brought us some communications from our always helnful and nice-natured clients. Two of these have hastened to Inform that the au thor is John William Kellette, formerly a llnotyper on eeteral newspapers ; and we earn that Mr. Kellette is about to knock the public ear for another loop with a sequel entiled "Bubbling Over." We may be wrong, but we doubt whether the public can be bubbled again bo soon. Another letter is from our 'good highbrow friend Edwin Edgett, literary editor of the .. ua fi m T miicr - . Uostou Transcript. - - " -fess my ignorance, but m Forever Blowing Bubble, is new to me." Now Lb it that typical of Boston? "Mr. KeUette had called his ditty "I Am Perpetually JBJaeu. latins Unsubstantial Spheres of Vapor," bow quidkly Boston would have fallen for it Obviously TennyfcorTM not thinking of Elaine, Ark., when be pulled that line about Elaine the fair, Elaine the lovable. Additional Argument for Prohibition Another highly Important plce ' of ' evl- aJZ .t,ini. wan-1, wonderful effective ness was the fact that not a. Hed-nosed "player reached third base. Our favorite morning piper. When we. hear anyj-one speak conde- KSL.fflLlS Janj. epoch j we. vivumv " --' v-i-w ;wm noma 1 dsitte dtaouwMtf'ttf HEAR NO GOOD OF THEMSELVES, EITHR M4ffi mmmsmtmim , m musruiL Upp- ' ' "V nftiM TOFIWT I III I $N ' tfi Pf! I ... TmBma'Wlm llpi C -v. , vn. H'""-,- "'wv-... "' -v. --, ". " THE WORLD'S MOST FAMOUS 1 ' ORATION Address to An Employer Upon Demand lug a Raise As Planned As Delivered If you aro not too busy, sir, there is one other matter iu fact, tho truth of the matter in fact is ex actly well, sir, I was precisely won dering whether of course I know this is a bad time indeed I have been very pleased to seo busi ness picking up a bit lately, an'd I am sure my own department has been but to tell you the truth, sir, I have been wondering of course it is just as you think best and I wouldn't think of insisting, but after all perhaps I have made a mistake in mentioning it, but I was thinking that possibly you might bear in mind the idea of a possible future raise in salary at some future time. I think you will admit, sir. that tho quality of my work during tho last two years has been such that my services could not easily be fo placed. I speak more in pain than In anger when I say that it has been a matter of profound surprise to me to uoto that you have not seen fit to acknowledge my value to the firm in, some substantial way. I think I may say that I have been patient. I have continued my efforts with unremit ting zeal, and I think I may flatter myself uiat my endeavors nave not been with out result. I have here, carefully tabu lated, a memoran dum of the increased profits in my' depart ment during the last twelve months, due in great part to my careful management. I am sorry to have to force you into a de cision, but I think I owe it to myself to say candidly that un less you see the mat ter in the same way that I do I' shall feel obliged to deprive the firm of my services. Wo have often noticed that the college students who complain most bitterly of the difficulty of memorizing dates and mathe matical formulae can absorb the most com plicated football signals with apparent ease. Personals E M. MARBLE Drop in some time. RICHARD DESMOND If the same will call at office of the Chaffing Dish, will learn something to his advantage. a PETE No, Socrates does not write the Quiz. Georgians Is Herself Again We have received a number of inquiries about the welfare of Georgtana, our pet bookworm, and beg to reply on her behalf that she is-doing nicely. George Glbbs has asked us to propound to her the antique conundrum that runs thus: A bookworm, starts to eat her way through a two-volume, work which stands on a bookshelf. The thickness pf each vol ume Is two inches of paper ; the covers are one-elghth-lnch boards. Beginning r.t the first page of the first volume and chewing In a straight line to the. last pagro of the second olume, how far does she travel? Georgians saya that Mr. Rigby tried to fool her with that riddle when she first turned up ia bis shop. Her answer is "One. quarter of an Inch, unless the books In ques tion are' novels by Mr, Gibbs himself. In that case, so much am I enamored of his enchanting style I w6uld take the trouble to retrace my mouthfuls, and the answer would be six and one-half inches," Georgians adds that her finder, -Mr. Rigby, makes a hobby of mathematics and taught her that two and two do not always total four, Bsld.she Is expert atrlddlbig things, '! 1 1' ! 'v i, . . Z " . s --"Kv is.c-i'.. i5?:5---- -0-c,, THE FAN NO WORDS have yet my fancy caught Anent the league of nations, I don't Include intensive thought Among my dissipations. No Shantung bugaboo can raise " Sly dander or my terror ; But, say! the game still wins my praise A game without an error! D'Annunzlo may drain his cup And all the beans be spilling, No Fjuine fuss can stir me up While Ruethcr makes a killing. Though British votes the council grab, Thus driving patriots batty, I think but of the Korr-fuU job That swatted Cincinnati. State problems never were for me. They're, not what I was. made Jor. . Let politicians find the key, For that is what they're paid for. But cheerfully I make report, And tenderly I pat it: If politics was just a sport I'd bo a wonder at if! GRIF ALEXANDER? Matthias Erzberger says Germany needs financial aid from the United States. 'Tis true. The whole world needs it. But the whole world will have to go to work first. Wellcsley College has posted notices prohibiting smoking. And for every girl who quits the chances are two4 will start just out of pure cussedness. From Boston comes the news that the number of Christian Endeavor societies in creased In Germany during the war. When the devil wis sick, etc. What Do You Know? QUIZ 1. Which one of the central powers tjulfc first in the war? 2. What President of the United States later became a citizen of another country? 3. What is plankton? 4. What American river runs through the Royal Gorge? 6. Iu what direction does the Gulf Stream flow? 0. What was Dorr's Rebellion? 7. Whep did it occur? 8. When did Venice cease to be an inde pendent rijiubllc? 0. What Is the'fly of a flag? 10. What vital Strategic mistake was made by the Germans at the beginning of the war? Answers to Saturday's Quiz 1. The French Chamber of Deputies has re cently ratified the peace treaty. 2. Cicotte should be pronounced as though it were spelled "Seecutt," and with sn equal stress on each syllable. 3. President Wilson is not quite sixty - three years old. ' 4. Benjamin Franklin married Deborah Read, of Philadelphia.' D. The game of lacrosse Is of-Canadian origin. 6. The Lion of St. Mark is symbolical of Venice. J '7. Little John in English tradition was a tall, stalwart fellow, who became a member of Robin Hood's band of out laws. His original name is variously tUta as John Little or Jphn Nallor. 8. William G. McAdoo was President Wil son's first secretary of th treasury. 0. The minnesingers were the earliest lyric poets of Germany. 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