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THE JOURNAL fcUCIAN SWIFT, MANAGJEK. 3XTBSORIP1ION BATES BT HAIX.. On* month $0.35 Three months l-0 Saturday Ere. edition, 20 to 26 pages 1.00 ^ DellTered by Carrier. One wck 8 cent* One mouth .. * 85 centa AU papers are continued until an explicit order is received for discontinuance, and until all ar rearages are paid. THH JOURNAL la published eTery evening, except Sunday, at 47-49 Fourth Street South, Journal Building, Minneapolis, Minn. f'New York Office. |SJ. 1 EE STARKE, J Tribune Building. ,} Mgr. General Adrg. 1 Chicago Office. +jgt VWashingto , Tribune Building. ^ w - w - JISKMAKB, J n Office , ! Representative. I 45 Post Builtling. AN INVITATION is extended to all to visit the lre8S Koom, which is the finest in the west. The battery of presses consists of three four-deck Goss Presses with a total capacity of 144,000 eight-page Journals an hour, piinted. folded and counted. The best time to call is from 2 15 to 4:30 p. m. Inquire at the business office and be directed to the visitors' gallery of the press rocm. Journal's Big February Daring the month just passed The Jouraal, in its 24 issues, carried more eoluinns of advertising than any other newspaper in the Twin Cities daily and Sunday com bined28 issues. The Journal's nearest competitor was passed by more than 150 columns. Here are the February totals for the Minne apolis paprs: Th e Journa l S s 125 9 The TribnneSsSsunday1107 Th e Time s ss*^. 78 8 The Will tfot Down. Some American statesmen seem to have adopted Kobert Walpole's cautionary mot to: "Quieta non movere,""Don't stir up quiet things " When they think they liave succeeded in getting the tariff or currency reform out of the realm of pub lic discussion and put those topics to sleep, so to speak, they make the plea, with much emotion, "don't stir them up." During the late session of congress they tried very hard to keep the tariff among the "quiet things " but, unwittingly, they themselves \ery^ dtecidedly increased the serious thinking of the public on the tariff question by their behavior as to-the Cuban reciprocity treaty, bitterly opposing a comparatively small reduction on certain Cuban products on the ground that the tariff wall would be weakened if the pro tective duty on sugar, for instance, was reduced from 94 per cent to 74 per cent! The American Photective Tariff League fulminated,against the proposed reduction and denounced its advocates in the most scurrilous terms, thereby proclaiming its hostility to any kind of tariff reforms and distinctly affirming its determination to fight bitteily every movement toward reciprocity or the mildest kind of tariff revision. They made up the issue un mistakably. The opponents of currency reform made a strong effort to keep that subject among the quiet things. They were content to let the gold standard legislation of 1900 stand without putting the finishing touches upon it in a provision, certainly essential, to make the standard silver dol lars exchangeable with gold. This would have been the capstone of such legislation. But notwithstanding the failure of the ef forts at currency reform during the first session of the fifty-seventh congress, the house committee on banking and currency reported favorably on the credit ^urrency measure, which was discussed by the house and favoted by the house repub-. licans, whenever a vote against demo cratic filibustering was taken The measure* was designed as a substitute for Senator Aldrich's bill, which failed in the senate, and provides that the government may deposit internal revenue and cus toms receipts in the national banks to the amount of 75 per cent of the paid up and unimpancd capital of any national bank. Without exacting government oi* other bonds, the government to havp a lien (first) on the assets of such bank, receiv ing interest fiom the bank at 2 per cent per annunm, payable semi-annaallvli? This would relea^p the government bonds de posited to seruie government deposits and the state and municipal bonds yet held by ?the treasury as such secuiily. and the Released government bonds, could be used f. *by the banks to increase their Dond-se V cured circulation. Tho Aldrich bill had sthe same object of putting back into cir culation, immediately, any money .the / 'government may collect through customs or internal revenue, by depositing it in "i he nationals taking as security state, mu nicipal and railway bonds of the first class, receiving therefor interest at \yz per cent per annum. Both measures failed, but they were brought up at the close of an unusually important session, and the.re is no doubt that the fifty-eighth congress, unless diverted by some great absorbing topic, will take up the measure reported by the house banking and cur rency committee at the late session, and the Aldrich bill, reported in the senate. These measures both have the laudable object of meeting monetary stringency W giving the treasury means to stop con traction in the crop-moving period of the year, when money is always greatly need ed The American Bankers' association lias appointed a strong committee to de Vise a measure which will effectively maet such situation. The failure of currency legislation at the late session of congress p leaves the country without remedy except "to fall back, on the government to prov Ide, by bond purchases at high prices, chiefly, resources for the money market, a func- 1 J. . McLAIN, EDITOK. COLUMNS ",,." *)** tion which is never satisfactorily per formed. The subject of a credit currency, secured by a gold reserve, has received very favorable attention during the past few months, the notion that the system would breed a "wild cat" currency disap pearing before any intelligent investiga tion of its real merits. This subject is so awake that it cannot put to sleep among the "quiet things" of Walpole's motto. In Chicago they are talking of abolishing graduating exercises for the grade schools. It is good talk. There is no doubt that those exercises help to give the graduated youngsters an Impression that they have completed a symmetrical course of educa tion, and may well stop where they are, unless they have a taste for ornamental but not useful higher education.* The line between the eighth and the ninth grades should not be so sharply drawn. A Little Municipal Tonic. The public is doubtless well pleased that the current investigation of the city's accounts and accounting methods is to be thorough and include the revolving fund, objection to including which was made, for some not very intelligible reason. There is little doubt that the investiga tors will find many matters that need straightening up and reforming. There is little apprehension that any scandal will be unearthed, but it. is likely that it will be shown that the city has not been con ducted In a businesslike manner. Some fourteen years ago then Controller Calderwood said that Minneapolis' system of bookkeeping might do for a small town, but had long since been outgrown. W e have the same system still. It seems that the depletion of the .re- volving fund, a fund that is theoretically perpetual, and should be nearly so prac tically, is largely a matter of bookkeeping. This fund has been called upon to pay larger amounts for improvements than would be returned to it by special as sessments. Whether the fault lies with the controller or the city engineer, it is none the less bad accounting. It is true that this depletion of the revolving fund merely means that the city has paid for paving that ought to have been paid for by benefited property owners. Between the city and the benefited property own ers, the total bill would not have been changed In any event. But as the total amount of the fund has been reduced, there has been less and less money with which to anticipate the cost* of needed new improvements, hence disgraceful streets and a ragged looking city. No small inconvenience, surely, to flow from defective bookkeeping. The fund has been tapped m another way through incorrect rebates. A thorough investigation will throw light on these masters, and point the way for improvement. George Gould, having missed a train for New York, took a special train and pro ceeded to overhaul the regular at a speed of 172 miles in 152 minutes. This is con siderably better than the airogant Vander bilt method of having a through train, full of passengers, ordered back to take on some woman of the Vandeibilt household. A Proximate Industrial Combat. Count GoluchowsRi, Austria secretary of foreign affairs, who two years ago began a fierce attack upon our country "as interfering with Austrian industries and trade by reason of American activity in seek-ing to expand our foreign trade, has renewed the assault and is vigorously pushing his proposition to organize a Eu ropean zollverein to strike a blow at our commercial enterprise. The count has met with small encouragement and has found that Austria is not only at trade disad vantage through American enterprise, but has reason to fear the impairment of her* foreign trade by the operation of the new German tariff, wihch will ge into effect next year. Germany presents the most formidable opposition to our trade expan sion just now for the government is pre paring to make the new tariff as effective against the United States as possible. It is proposed to organize German iron and steel interests to maintain higher prices within Germany, and shut out for eign competitors in disposing of surplus products in outside markets, b yundersell ing as was done by the beet sugar kartel, which sold to outside markets at almost cost and overcharged home consumers. This arrangement is to be adopted by other industries. In electrical supplies, the Germans have adopted American methods and boast that they are able to drive American goods of that kind out of their market. German manufacturers are eager to throw off all dependence on the United States for all kinds of supplies, if their talk may be literally construed, for it is, in many cases, as rabid as that of the agrarian element. Germany, however, wants all the trade she can get in this country and will mod ify her tariff, if we will modify ours and negotiate recipiocity treaties. Germany's new taiiff adds from 15 to 25 per cent to the duties on our agricultural products 12% to 45 per cent on cotton goods 14 to 60 per cpnt on corn 10 to 40 per cent on meat products, and up to 70 per cent on our machinery. These figures present subject for serious reflection. The Amer ican Protective Tariff League is* working sedulously against reciprocity. It is work ing against the public interests in this country, against the facile disposal of our surplus manufactures. Americans cannot get and keep control of any foreign mar ket unless1 petitors. They cannot get and keep a reasonable share of the trade of foreign nations unless they make it possible for these nations to trade with them. With our enormous manufacturing resources, there come periods when the home mar ket is largely oversupplied and the sur plus must find a market. Germany pro poses to shut us out unless we pull down some tariff bars in a concessory way. This country has tremendous natural ad vantages over Germany and any other European power, and Is destined one day to dominate the world industrially, but our progress to that point will be slow, according to the measure of the tenacity with which many of our states men cling to the changeless tariff idea and fail to view the future with the prophetic accuracy of the late William McKinley ^ As time goes on the .teachers seem to be getting bolder about voicing their griev ance with basket making. Evidence is at - cumulating that it they can undersell their com- 4 imposes an excessive burden upon the teachers, giving them too much work and adding to their worries. As we have said before, this matter can and should be settled entirely+aside from the general question of manual training in the schools. In these days people gen erally believe in some training that will enable the children to do something use ful with their hands. But basket weaving may not serve the purpose, and then again it may be just what Is needed and yet be applied in a manner that makes the net result to teachers and pupils a distinct injury instead of advantage. If basket weaving is breaking many teachers, as is alleged, and is too greatly taxing the strength of others, it can not be a good thing. Overworked, worried, nervous, ir ritable schpol teachers are worse than use less. They should not be in. schools, and if the curriculum necessarily makes teach ers such, it should be revised. A mysterious murder was committed in Buffalo a week ago. The search for the murderer has uncovered an unsavorv mess of immorality in a certain class in Buffalo. These facts led a Buffalo preacher to say yesterday: America is fast following the steps of the old Roman empire. The home is de spised, children are an encumbrance-^-a poodle dog is of more value than a baby. Wealth and pride consume the life blood of the nation, and aristocractic weaknesses sap our democratic vigor. There probably never was a revelation of a little piece of local social gangrene in any part of any nation that some Jere miah did not arise and infer therefrom the decadence and ruin of the nation. What has a little spot of rottenness in a little section of Buffalo society to do with, our national vigor or soundness?) Jn the healthiest body there are always dead and dying cells. In the best nation there are always immoral and worthless individ uals. From time to time they come to the surface of the body social, and many hastily conclude that the whole body must be about as bad as they are. Scandals of the Buffalo sort are, per haps, especially frequent among what are sometimes called "our best .people " r This phrase too often means the people with the most money or the most ostentatious ma,nner of living. Mere social conspicuity is no indication of worth'or real import ance in the community. Immorality in this class is no criterion of the condition of society as a whole. Our real best people are now as sound as they ever were, and among a certain class of friyolous pleas ure seekers, there is probably no more rottenness now than in the days of Aaron Burr. It is pleasing to observe that the ceded townships of the Red Lake reservation and the agricultural lands of the reservations affected by the Morris law ace to^pass into private ownership only on terms "^that in sure ownership by actual occupants of the land. In the Red Lake townships the land is to be sold at auction in "quarters" at not less than $4 an acre, but in addition actual residence for five years is required to perfect a title. The Leech Lake reser vation lands may be taken up by home steaders, who must pay the Indians $1.25 an acre and occupy them for five years. There is no wiser policy than one that looks to making the owner and tiller t the soil one, and the same. Landlordism is a curse in any country. Most of the woes of Ireland and probably half those of rural England flow from non-resident ownership of land. Coincident ownership and occu pancy usually means contentment. Sepa rate the two and you get an unhappy tenant and a dissatisfied owner. Also, too, you get a poor farmer, instead of a good farmer, and an imitation capitalist instead of a worker. Not So Bad. * The spring land rush Is beginning. The signs are that this will be the greatest retail' year the land movement^ has wit nessed, and by the same token the1 of the greatest actual movement of set tlers. The speculators are now dealing for the most part with persons who, if they purchase, will probably be actual occu pants of the land. It Is gratifying to learn that there is a very general inquiry for the wooded lands of northern Wiscon sin and Minnesota. There is quite a pro nounced movement of "colonies" of set tlers into these regions of cheap lands near big markets. All things considered, there are probably no more desirable lands in the United States at present prices than these unoccupied lands at the doors of splendid markets, with, consequently, small charge for transportation of prod ucts. Joel Heatwole is in St. Paul. Carry the news to the republican state central committee: Minnesota is being organized. It is not necessaiy for us to haunt the lobbies of the Merchants' hotel to know what will , not go on there. Mr. Heatwole will s-tand or sit in the lobbies with his hands in his pockets and wearing in expression of in scrutable mysterv From time to time gum-shoed persons will approach him. And while sundry important conferences are being held, Postmaster Pierce or J. B Kelly or Jim l^awrence will fill up the cash drawee of a long distance 'phone". WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK An Open Letter to School Board Director Hltks. Dear Sir: I greatly rejoice that at last some one in authority has had ther cour&ge to lift up his voice in protest against ati least one of the popular educational crazes of the day, and I hope that the parents as well as the newspapers and pulpits of this city will loyally support such a champion. I wish to state to you at the beginning of this letter that I am not apposed to all industrial education in our public schools, but I am diametrically opposed to so much emphasis being placed on this department of our educational system to the neglect of more important subjects. The bone of contention at present seems to be basket weaving, and, I most heartily endorse the position you have taken in regard to this matter. The impression seems to prevail 4n some quarters that this work can be taught to a class as arithmetic or-geography, is taught, but this is a false notion, as ijt is positively necessary to give individual in struction. One of the principals some time ago called a teacher to account for a seeming failure in this direction. Tho teacher asserted that the instruction ,could not be given,from the desk. This being doubted by the principal, who is an enthu siast on the subject of basket weaving, she took ha\f of the pupils in the room to an other room and endeavored to give them instruction as a class,-and in a little while was compelled to give it up .as impractica ble if not impossible. ^ , I find it exceedingly difficult to obtain information from the teaehers as to the - ^Hjhfyfe,?** THE MINNEAPOLIS JOUENAL. 4?13ft The Nonpareil Man! ^ V " f1'r J. Pierpont Morgan sent a check for $22,500,000 through the New York clear- ing house the other day. Why Is it not just as easy to play with millions as with hundreds? W e have always found it so. - The sore nose epidemic has been started in the east, caused, so they say, by a germ called morococcus pyogenes aureus. This critter occasions "a reddening and swelling of the end of the nose, which finally turns purple. When the -affected part is touched the pain is apt to be felt at the back of the neck." Boil your nose. Billy Worst, if chosen president of the United States, would, for the sake of sensational stuff for his newspapers, annex South America and declare war on Germany inside of fifteen minutes. Speaking of running delivery horses to death recalls to mind that a certain local laundryman drives his own delivery wagon. I asked him one day why he did it, and he said: "Well, you see, we tried hiring delivery boys and they drove in such a way that no horse I could get lasted more than eight months. On an average a delivery boy will kill a horse a year just from brutality, fast driving and worrying the critter to death jerking the reins. You ask any grocery man if this isn't true of his busi- ness, too." I Any one who has watched the pyrotechnical driving of the delivery youth when he is hungry aria wants to get home, can easily believe this story. The trolley lifted x a terrible burden from the shoulders of the faithful horse, and those of us who used to suffer with him are praying for the advent of the autodelivery cart. Perhaps Edfsorfs"' storage battery will' bring It, and perhaps it will not. But the change/is jbound "to come, and as it 4s unlawful at present to shoot at murderous driverfTalt we can do is to hope earnestly for the quick advent of a practical auto- cart. effect of this work- ^pon themselves and the children, as they claim any adverse criticism ? the system would: likely en danger .their situations. But I have man age to learn the following facts* In order to finish the work assigned to each grade in the tjme appointed, the teachers are practically compelled to re main at the schoolhouse from one to two hours after school has closed for the day, keeping many of the pupIJs as long as the rules ^Lll^fflow, and then correcting, tak ingaOT^tralia lias not been properly done. This Is sure ly a hardship to the* teachers. At least one of the teachers has been accustomed to have some of the more backward of her scholars come to her home on Sat urday morning for two or three hours that she might instruct them more thoroughly in the work. To be sure she was not or dered to do this by the principal, but it was necessary to do it or fall to get the required amount of weaving done. It is not surprising that so many of our teach ers are the victims of nervous prostra tion when we consider such things as these. Within the past two weeks in one school at least two teachers have for mally'protested against the "amount 'of work to be done, s^atjng that it could not be accomplished in the time allotted, and one of them stated that she would resign her position rather than take the work home with her and do it after school hours. It would be a *crying shame should this matter be brought to an Issue and these teachers forced out. year The nervous strain induced by too close application to this work can hardly be estimated. More than one teacher has told me that at the close of a weaving period she has been so nervous and ex cited that she would cry like a child. When this condition prevails on the part of the teacher we can certainly expect difficulty in maintaining discipline. In fact, some even claim that it is more dif ficult to keep the children in order after than before sucfl a lesson. This would in dicate that the children are also affected by nervousness when engaged for a pro tracted period in this work. To my mind, the great objection to the present plan is that toc^ much is re quired of the pupilsmore than can pos sibly be accomplished within the time ate lowed without the teachers and pupils re maining after school hours in order to finish the work, or taking the work home with them, or neglecting other work. As the latter is the easiest way to get the basket work done, we are prone to "be- lieve it is 1he way most frequently adopted. When we stop to consider that about three-fourths of our boys and girls go no higher than the first or second year in the high school, If that far, and that there are a dozen or so business colleges in our city filled with pupils from our public schools, who have not received in our public schools such instruction as would fit them for any kind of a business career, the neglect or omission of instruction in any of the fundamentals of a common, school education is a matter which ought to deeply concern every parent. u ' * ~ J \ Mrs. Marsylla Keith of Montgomery, W. Va., was 116 years old Saturday. Mrs. Keith still has a strong grip on life. The Death Angel runs his thumb meditatively along his scythe and then passes right by. - ' - v * 4 J. J. Ryan, the St. Louis get-rich-quick man, violated every by-law of the Turf Investment Men's union. H e left $246,000 where the courts could get their hands on it. The Ameer of Afghanistan has started out as a reformer. He has divorced" all but four of his wives and has decreed by beat of drum that none of his subjects shall hereafter have more than four wives. In a recent proclamation he ordered that any one convicted of taunting another on account^jf his religion should be blown from a cannon's mouth. This disagreeable punishment has already been inflicted. The Ameer has also aimed a proclamation at grain corners on- the Afghanistan board of trade. H e has decreed that every one possessing grain in excess of what is absolutely necessary for the support of his family for four months shall sell it. If he fails to do so his whole supply will be taken by force. This is what usually happens in this lountry. People who try to corner wheat usually have the stuff taken from them by force. And as to four wivesthat is something that brings its own punishment with it. Still, the Ameer is doing the best he knows, and ought to be upheld. $ S $ $ A tramp called on Mrs. Calvin May of some place in Missouri, and demanded food. Mrs. May supplied him generously, but the coffee was cold and he made in- solent complaint.' His benefactress ran into the house to escape him, but the1 abond followed. Mrs. May then slapped him on the brow with the iron end of, the mop and hurt him so seriously that he now lies In the jaili a precarious,condi- tion, there is a#rembling- hope among the best citizens of the community that his skull may^provfivilb be cracked-. _ Opposed, as we have befoje stated, to all violence, there are cases ox its occurrence where Dye try to look the other way and hold our peace. . Thomas K. Bryne, a young get-ricn-quick artist, who calls himself a "speculation scientist," has been arrested in N ew York for promising $20 a week on every hun- dred invested. Tommy was an elevator boy in a hotel, and he thought his scheme all out for himseff while trying "to beat the races." He finally widened his sphere of influence fromithe track to the "financial markets of the world"and the police did the rest. No doubt, there are Napoleons of finance pulling elevators, running grocery delivery horses .^to death and editing newspapers all around us..a nd we know it aiot. Casually Observed. ? S S $ S S &&$$$ r weaving over the work that It is a notorious fffct that so little time is now given to instruction in spelling in our pubic schools that it is difficult to find among the high school graduates one who can write even a* short letter without misspelled words. Any business man who employs such graduates will confirm this Statement. Two or three years ago, in a junior class in one of our high schools, forty-seven out of fifty-two members present at one recitation misspelled the word "business " Let us have more read ing ,and less raffia, more spelling and fewer hammocks, more mental arithmetic and not so many baskets, more and better penmanship and less blankets, and I be lieve our boys and girls will be better fitted to meet the burdens and duties of lift- and to acquit the'mselves nobly. It might be possible to appoint a teach er of industrial work for a district, giv ing one day a week to each school in the district, and having 4he scholars a few at a time for such instruction, and thus save the nervous energy of the grade teachers for other and, I think, more lm portant work, and at the same time give each pupil .better personal- instruction in the industrial work. But such teachers would need cast-iron backs to stand the strain of constantly bending over the"work in the hands of the pupils, the patience of Job as well as neraes of steel. Hoping "that thfe agitation of basket work in' our schools may result in such a reconstruction of the present system, as Will g\ve to our children a more sensible and. better balanced course' of Instruction in our public .schools, and again thanking S $$$ $ $ $ $- $ * $ $ ? S $ 3 S $ $ $ ^ - K , * a you for the part you have had in this important matter, I remain yours very sincerely, Willard S. Ward. Pastor Shiloh Presbyterian Church, Min neapolis. ' To Mr. W. K. Hicks, Minneapolis. AT THE THEATERS Bijou"Yon Yonson." "Ypn Yonson" has: fallen upon evil days. Time, was" when 'rmVplay* presented claims to serious consideration. In the hands of Gns Heege Yon was a manly, likable fellowan excellent type of the young Swedish Immigrant. Then Heege died and Ben Hendricks succeeded him. Hen dricks^was not of Scandinavian birth, but he succeeded in mastering the dialect and the characteristics of the race and he was successful. Next came Knute Erickson, like Heege, a Swede born, and in some respects the best actor of the trio. Erick son made a name for himself in the role, which probably accounts for the fact that we have another Erickson in the part this season. Unlike his predecessor, however, this new Erickson is not a Swede, nor has he' been able to understand the Swedish- character. His dialect is indet fensible his acting is without excuse. Whatever his name or nationality, the Swedish character is not 'for him nor he for it. A more complete failure than his worlc In the part It would be difficult to imagine. However, "Nelse Erickson" is not unique in this regard. The company In support is almost uniformly bad from star to utility man. Sidney Craven does fairly well as a colored servant and Miss Flor ence Gear Is commoplace as Grace Jen nings. The others are below mediocrity. J. S-. Lawrence. "Peggy from Paris." George Ade's bright new comic opera, "Peggy from Paris," is proving a decided success in Chicago at the Studebaker, where it has been running for several weeks, and will hold the boards there until the summer season. Mr. Ade seems to be as successful in comic opera writ ing as he has been in the newspaper field. The opera is beautifully staged and is drawing crowded houses nightly in Chi cago. "Peggy from Paris" will not be seen west of Chicago this year. * Foyer Chat. Field's minstrels began a brief engage ment at the Metropolitan last night and at the Lyceum the Ferris company started in on a week of "Monte CrisTo." The per formances will be reviewed in this column to-monow. No classic play presented 1n recent years has caught the popular fancy as has the spectacular production of "The Tempest," in which Louis James and Frederick Warde will appear at the Metropolitan on Thursday evening. The big musical event of the present season will be the engagement of the Castle Square Opera company in a festival df grand opera of four weeks' duration. Eight operas are to be given embracing the works Of Verdi, Gounod, Bizet, Wag ner, Balf e and Flotow, compositions widely dissimilar. The engagement is to open at the Metropolitan In Minneapolis a week from to-night and that week will be de voted to the presentation of "II Trovatore" and "Faust." "Lover's Lane," Clyde Fitch's pastoral play, will be seen at the Bijou the coming week. These subtle, rustic dramas, full of, heart interest, quaint humor, homely sentiment and picturesque realism, seem to have stronger virility than the more ephemeral problem plays and the frivol ous comedies of fashionable society. % QUAY PAYING OLD DEBTS, Madiaon (S. D.) Outlook. * It is very evident from Senator Quay's strenuous fight for statehood for demo cratic territories that the statesman is de livering goods in exchange for democratic favors-closer at home. Mr. Quay has been the victor In several jv^ry close fights in Pennsylvania. s "WHY TYPEWRITERS ARE HIGH Seattle Post-Intelligencer. One cause of the high price of type writers has just become public. The pres-% ident of one of the typewriter companies draws down $25,000 a year salary. 4 Cf^& x - Shylock Homes: His posthumous Memoirs. VI.Mr. Homes Solves a Question of * Authorship. There had been some acrimonious dis cussion at last session of the Cimmerian Branch of Sorosis over the authorship of the works of William Shakspere Cleo patra had read a paper of sOme cleverness, which proved to its fair author, at least, that the plays that have come down to us from the Golden Age of Letters, were from the pen of a syndicate, of which Shakspere was the managing director Xanthippe, in a satirical philippic, dem onstrated beyond peradventure that they were written by Guy Fawkes Queen Elizabeth was strong in the debate in the affirmation of Bacon's responsibility for the works Mrs. Noah proved an alibi for her husband, and Anne Hathaway, when called upon to speak,, observed that she had never heard of them at all. The dis cussion waxed so fast and furious that in order to prevent'Hhe disruption of the so ciety, a committee of three, consisting of Lucretia Borgia, Madame Du Barry and Portia, was appointed to wait upon myself with the request that I solve the mystery on behalf of the club, promising to abide by whatever decision I might render. And then I entered upon the enterprise which, I must confess, startled even my self in the manner of its ending. The first thing I did was to call upon Sir Francis Bacon. He received me in the library of his villa at Noxmere, and I found him a most interesting personage. "Aha," he cried, betraying no little nervousness. "You are not taking up lit erary detection, I hope?" "Yes, I am, Sir Francis," I answered. And my reputation is at stake. I wish to save it" Baco*n vag-' eyed me narrowly, and then" sat down1. The action had begun sooner than I had expected. It was clear that his lordship was* much perturbed at the intrusion of myself into his affairs, and so, to throw him off the scent, instead of asking him frankly the question, "Did you, or did you not write Shakespere's plays," as I had come to do, I answered, choosing my words by the merest chance. "That -of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde." If I had thrown a bomb into the middle of the library, the effect could not have been more dramatic. Bacon jumped up as if he had been shot, but I paid no atten tion, going on with my question calmly. "Was that story romance or realism?" "You have the subtelty of the serpent, Mr. Shylock Homes," he answered with difficulty regaining his composure. "Why do you ask me, of all men, that question?" "Because," said I, a great light dawn ing upon my mind. "I thought you, of all men, could tell me." "But why? Why? Why? Why?" he cried, the reiterated "whys" rising in in flection until they ended in a shriek. Unconsciously, I had struck a vein of rich ore, - and my future course revealed itself to me on the instant. "Because," I said,- "because you, of all men, should knowhaving tried the same 'scheme yourself." The pallor that spread over his counte nance was deadly, and he sank back limp in his chair, but, as with a sudden re solve, he straightened up again and be came strong. "Great Heavens. Homes, where have you heard this?" he implored. "Ohjust a little coterie to which I be longed in London used to take that the- ory," I lied, "and it found so general an acceptance among us that our friends and our friends' friends, that I had supposed that by this time it was all over." "You are retained by?" he queried. "Sorosis," said I "And your fee-** will double, it. Mr. Shylock Homes, if jou will call off" "I am incorruptible, Sir Francis," said I, rising, with a mock show of anger, "and I bid you good evening." "Don't leave me in anger, Mr. Homes," he pleaded, holding out his hand, "I have long admired you and your work, and was frankly delighted when I received your card. My unfortunate suggestion, as to your fee, I deeply regret. I, of course, know that you could not be corrupted, but I so deprecate the prolongation of the con troversy as to my connection wither Shakespeare's works,, that I forgot my- self." "Don't mention it, Sir rancis," I replied, accepting his proffered hand. "I under stand. And to show you that I have no ill feelings, I wish you would take luncheon with me next Wednesday." He fell into the trap at once. "I shall be delighted," he said. "And to set forever at rest this absurd theory as to you and Shakspere being another case of Jekyll and Hyde, I"l ask him, too. If you are both there, you can not, of course, be the same man, you see." Bacon tottered and almost fell as I spoke, but he soon recovered his equi librium. "II will see that he accepts,*' he said huskily. "Thank you," said I, and took my de parture. Upon my return to my office, I dis patched a note to Shakspere bidding him to the feast of Wednesday, and was somewhat taken aback, in view of my theory, to receive an immediate accept ance. When I left Lord Bacon, I was morally convinced that I had fallen upon the right solution of the mystery, but if this were so, how could both Shakspere and Bacon be present at my luncheon sim ultaneously? It perplexed me much. and. seeing no way out of the mystery, I dis missed the whole matter ftom my mind, and sat down to await developments. Wednesday came, and, at the appointed hour, both guests arrived, walking in. arm in arm. and chatting awav as amiably as if there had ne%er been a fere bat tle laging between their followers for the gieatest literary honors the world has to bestow. I was more than ever puzzled, when I shook them by the hand and'made them welcome at my table, but it was none the less clear that there was some my story to which they were both partj, for Bacon was excessively nervous all through the luncheon, and Shakespere perspired as freely as though he were Damocles sitting beneath a suspended sword. Moreover, Bacon was loath to let Shakespere open his mouth, save to take in food and drink. He talked incessant ly, and, at times, so vagariously that I wondered if he were in his right mind. Nor was there' about Shakespere anv of the bonhomie that I had heard was so characteristic of the man* and, when the luncheon was over, instead of feeling that I had known him all my life, I really felt as if I knew, him less well than when we had first sat down at table. Still, there they were, both of them, and my theory must fall in the face of the fact,,unless' Ah! That unless! It saved the day for Shylock Homes, for it Jad me pursue the same line of Inquiry even In the face oef certain defeat. Turning the conversation upon certain political schemers and their plans, I ven tured the Shaksperean quotation, , "Excellent! I smell a device!" Bacon was about - to respond, when Shakespere growled forth, "You don't* smell advice, do you, Mr. Homes? Your English language is so" Bacon upset his coffee in Shakespere's lap, to divert the bard, and set his tongue wagging on other lines-, with which sub terfuge I fell in most readily, but it was too late. Evidently there was something wrong with this Shakspere, who protest ed against his own periods, and ventured the beginnings of an assault upon his own language. I did, indeed, smell a device, but for the moment pursued it no further. ''I must lull them htto a sense of se curity I"? I thought, "and maybe then all will become clear." f How. well I did so is .evidenced by (he ft By John Kendrick Bangs. Copyright, 1903, by John Kendrick Bangs. ' / l fact that when we parted it wa-wlth the distinct promise that Shakspere and I were to spend the following Sunday at Noxmere, with Bacon. I was glad, in deed, of the invitation, for my sus picions were become so great that all the powers of hades could not now have di verted me from the mystery I had un dertaken to solve. Entirely apart from the interest I was beginning to take in it, it would never do, even from a professional" point of view, to give up now or to let Bacon deceive me, as he appeared trying to do, and, as I looked back upon the luncheon and recalled several seem ingly insignificant little details, I felt pretty certain that there was something very strange about Shakspere. He pre ferred absmthe to ale, for one thing, he questioned the use of terms in one of his own phrases, had no good stories to tell, and was very far from being the royster ing companion his friends had cracked him up to be. A day in the country might reveal the true inwardness of cer tain things that just now baffled me, and I accepted with alacrity. Not so Shaks pere, who betrayed considerable reluc tance to be one of the party, but, partly by persuasion, and partly, I could see, by intimidation, he was won over. The next day I called upon my friend, Henry Jekyll, with whom I had been on intimate terms in London the year he and I sprang almost simpltaneously into our enviable notoriety. I told him frankly the position in which I was placed, and what I suspected, and adjured him if he were my friend, to give me the prescrip tion by which he transformed himself into Hyde, and then from Hyde, back to Jekyll again. At first he refused me point blank. "You will use it on yourself, Homes," and if you do, it will ruin you," he said. "I swear to you that I will not, Jekjll," I replied. "You know the value of my word." "But" he persisted. "Do you want me to be made the laugh ing stock of all hades?" I cried. "As I surely shall be if I fail in this enterprise." "I know, Homes," said he. "But" "It is the only favor I have ever asked of you. Henry Jekyll," said 1. "And I beg to recall to your mind that I knew the truth of your double existence in Lon don when Hyde murdered Sir Danvers Carew. Did I betray you, when your be trayal would have made my fortune?" "It is yours," he cried, as, seizing a prescription blank from the table, he wrote down the required formula. I had the powder in my pocket Ihe fol lowing Sunday, upon my arrival at Nox mere. The day passed pleasantly, and Shakspere proved a charming companion rather too much given to reciting lines from his own works, perhaps, but full of geniality anct/ quite like the man I had expected to find him. Indeed, had his manner at the luncheon been the same as that which he displayed at Noxmere, I should have pursued the Jekyll and Hyde theory no further. But now I refused to cast suspicion aside without the supre'm est test of trying Jekyll's powders on Ba con. All day long I avoided allusion to my professional work, and by nightfall both Bacon and Shakspere were so thor oughly convinced that they had thrown me off the scent that they became frankly and facetiously jocular. I bided my time, until the nightcap hour came, and then, in order to put my plan into operation, suggested that I be allowed to mix a cock tail for the company. "I learned the art from an American friend," I said, "and Iassui-e you, my loid, and you, too, William Shakspere. when you have swallowed your firs Martini you will say that j ou'vewiever had a di ink before." "Wassail to the Martini," cried Bacon joyously. * "All hail the queue de coque," roared Shakspere joviallya remark which caused me to start, Bacon to frown and Shakspere to turn pale. What had the "Bard of Avon" to do. indeed, with the French language? I said nothing, how ever, proceeding at once to the making of the mixture, and into Bacon's glass I slipped the powder Henry Jekyll had given me. And we ail drank, and then Do you remember Dr. Lanyon's narra tive, in Stevenson's stirring account of Jekyll's fairj in which lie describes what happened to Mr. Hyde when he had swal lowed the potion? His words, as I remem ber them, ran as follows: He put the glass to bis lips and drank it one gulp. A cry followed. He reeled, stag gered, clutched at the table and held on, staring with injected eyes, gasping with open month, and as I looked there came, I thought, a change, he Beemed to swellbis face became suddenly black, and the featuys seemed to melt and alter, and the ne\t moment I had sprung to niy feet and leaped against the wall, my arm raised to shield me from that prodigy, my mind submerged in terror. "Oh, God," I screamed, and "Oh, God," again and again, for there, before my eyes pale and shaken and half fainting, and grop ing before him with his bands, like a man re stored from deaththere stood Henry Jekyll. The same scene was enacted in the study of Francis Bacon. He, too, like Hyde, drained the contents of the glass at a gulp. He, tco, reeled, staggered, and clutched and held on to the table, staring with injected eyes, and gasping with open mouth. And over him, also, came a change in which his face turned suddenly black, and the features melted and altered. Francis Bacon, Lord Verulam, faded in a mist of horror, and out of it emerged, pale, palsied and shattered, for the mo ment no less a person than William Shakspere himself, while, seated opposite, gaping in horrified wonderment sat aft other Shakspere, who gasped, and choked and gripped and groaned, staring the real in the eye and powerless, lor the instant, to move. I stood back in the shadow of the mantel, watching both, when suddenly the spurious Shakspere with a shriek, sprang madly to his feet and p^lun^ed toward the door. By a quick move I in tercepted him. "We have solved the old mysterynow for the new!" I cried. "Who are you*'" "I beg of you" he began, whereupon I seized him by the goatee, which, being false, came off in my hand, and with it the rest of the disguise, wig, mustache and all. It was M. Le Coq. "II paid him for this, Mr. Homes!" gasped Bacon, or, rather, Shakspere, as he now was. "Do not blame M. Le Coq for this" "He may go," said I, "I have only to deal with you." And Le Coq shrank from the room and disappeared into the night. "Well, Lord Bacon," said I, addressing the poor creature before me. "I have dis covered the secret of the centuries. It is you who are the author of Shakspere's plays." "In a senseas Shakspere I wrote them, yes." "So that I may report" "I do not know!" he moaned. "I am broken, Mr. Homes, absolutely broken, in spirit. To have this known" "It never will be, lor Bacon," said I. "At least not here. I shall publish my re port only in the upper world, and the books of that sphere have no circulation in this." "And you will conclude?" "There is but one conclusion, Lord Ba con. William Shakspere wrote his own works. You backed him. I shall so re port to Sorosis, and the ladies may take it as final or leave it." And so I left Mm. TrueJto my promise, this story hag not been circulated in Hade, and I rejoice to say, that, -based, upon my report to the committee the So ciety of Soiosis of Cimmeria has voted by 369 to 1 that Shakspere wrote Shakspere. The negative vote was cast by Anne Hathaway, who observed that she did not wish to incriminate her husband until she had seen the stuff , tV^'^'i M^k-sA. **"*" -^M*"^** *-,*#& r .5*r *A 3f f to be m 1 *- ^