The Minneapolis journal. [volume], December 19, 1905, Page 16, Image 16

About The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939

Image provided by: Minnesota Historical Society; Saint Paul, MN

                
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16
1
RABBIT,
"ME
Wcfn f/ie Lonjgr Bow
GOVERNORthELROD
"Bye aattm's walks, shoot tolly as tt fibs.'
Governor Elrod's Rise in the World Due to Hard Work and
Abstinence from OigaretsWhy a Devotee of the Little
Nail Could Not Take Oare of the College Furnace.
of South Dakota, in a talk on educa
'tion in Methodist church at Pierre, told how he
spent the days of his boyhood in the poverty incident to the
backwoods life of Indiana. How at 17, an awkward boy from
the sawmill, he received from a young college man who
strolled into his vicinity, without a nail in his face, the first
Impulse towards an education. The next year, clothed in
jeans and calico shirt, but without a cigaret in his counte
nance, tho in other ways as unpromising a specimen as ever
appeared in college halls, he was accepted into the second
preparatory class of Ashbury college, and, doing janitor
work during the school months, and binding in the harvest,
he worked his way thru six years of faithful application,
to his graduation. During the last two college years he car-
ried a law course on the side, so that upon graduation he
passed the examination and was admitted to the bar. No
cigaret dude could have done janitor work and cared properly
for the college furnace. Seated on a bench, he would have
bargained with some small town boy to carry out the ashes.
The result would have been that the boy would have dropped
them on the stairs, and the faculty, finding the ashes there
and smelling the cigaret, would have been ''down on" Elrod,
who would soon have left college, gone to some less rigorous
climate and been merely Governor of New Mexico instead of
South Dakota.
Keep free from the cigaret, boys, if yon want to rise in
the world.
The baggage smashers at the N. P. station at Fargo re-
ceived a reproof the other day.
"Here," shouted Special Officer Costello, "what do you
mean by throwing those tiunks around like that?"
The baggageman gasped in astonishment, and several trav
elers pinched themselves to make sure that it was real.
"Don't you see that you are making big dents in this
platform?"
Santa Clans' poultry farm in Alaska has hatched out a
fine crop of reindeer, and they are now making a hurried
flight south in order to be on hand for Christmas.
When the "halfbreeds" of North Dakota were getting
togethei Fargo recently Senator Crane waved away a few
curious reporters who wanted to know what was doing. Some
of the boys took offense at these Japanese tactics, and the
Linton Record now refers to the senator as a sour visaged
dyspeptic," a pet name that caused Mr. Crane to titter
loudlv.
Ex-Governov White of North Dakota is erecting a barn
in Barnes county of sueh vast size and along such excellent
architectural lines that cows come from a long distance mere
ly to stand and gaze at it. It is not the governor's intention
to have any historic paintings in the dome, nor will Tarara
marble be used in the stalls. Nevertheless, it rips the clap-
boards off of every barn in that section. This is as it
should be. A. J. R.
What the Market Affords
20 cents each.
Pancake flour, 10 cents a package.
Cracked wheat, two-pound package, 15 cents.
Cheese wafers, 15 cents a package.
Mangoe pickles, 50 cents a quart.
Figs, 15 cents a pound.
Rabbits are more plentiful in the market this week than
they have been, and if you want to try a panned rabbit you
will find it \ery tasty. Dress a fat young rabbit, lay it on
a board, and with a cleaver flatten it out. Place it in a
baking pan, breast side down, spread with butter, season
with salt and pepper, and bake for an hour in a quick oven,
basting frequently with hot water and butter. Serve with
tomato sauce and brown gravy.
If you want something different from the conventional
plum pudding for Christmas, tiy a fig pudding. Chop fine
half a pound of beef suet. Mix thoroly with one cup of flour,
then add a pound of figs, chopped fine, one cup of brown
sugar, rolled smooth, and a section of candied orange peel,
simmeied in syrup and chopped fine. Mix all together thoro
ly. Pass thru a sieve, together, two cups of sifted flour, two
level teaspoonfuls of baking powder, half a teaspoonful of
salt, one-fourth a teaspoonful of cloves, half a grated nut-
meg, and half a teaspoonful each of cinnamon and mace.
Then sift again into the other ingredients, and mix the whole
together thoroly. Beat two eggs, add half a cup of sweet
milk, and stir into the dry ingredients to form a stiff dough.
Turn into a buttered mold, and steam six hours. Serve with
hard or liquid pudding sauce.
Hard SauceBeat half a cup of butter to a cream, then
gradually beat in a cup of sugar. When very light, beat in
gradually the white of one egg, beaten dry, and a teaspoonful
of vanilla extract, or one or two tablespoonfuls of sherry
wine.
THE ARCHAIC CAT.
APHET looked out of the window and yawned. "Water,
water everywhere," he remarked. I say, Ham, do you
suppose cats can swim?"
"Don't know, I'm sure. Let'B wake Shem and then we'll
find out."
"We'd better tie a string round her neck," suggested
Shern^ "then if she can't swim, we can pull her in.
S they caught the cat, tied on a string, and dropped her
from the window. "She can! She can! they shouted but
just then the dinner-bell rang. "Plum duffl" they cried as
with one voice, and tumbled down the stairs.
At first the cat rather enjoyed her adventure and swam
along merrily enough the sun had begun to shine by this
time, the air was delightfully fresh after the stuffy ark,
and the connecting string helped her more than she realized.
But a sudden gust of wind made the ark lurch violently, the
string snapped, and the poor cat found herself being left
slowly astern. She called for help as loudly as she could,
for it took all her strength to swim, and the giraffe, who was
'of a benevolent nature, finally noticed her cries.
"Methinks," said he, I hear a fellow-being in distress."
"Oh, don't you care," said the rat with a wicked grin.
^"It's only that old cat. She's always sitting on the roof to
sing." $ But the kind-hearted giraffe looked out of the window.
Spying poor Mrs. Cat, he stretched his long neck to its utmost
^nd finally succeeded in pulling her m.
She lapped her wet fur disconsolately. "More than
enough is too much," she said, and her descendants hate
twater to this very day.Lippincott's.
A PRECOCIOUS PATRIARCH.
B'Y talked w'in he wor two wakes old."
That's nothing. Job cursed the day he was born.
MAJOR
THEnRev.
SENATOR
*A.3? y" $, &>- i
THE JOURNAL'S HOME EXERCISE SYSTEM.
ILL
Exercise No. VII.
(The Acrobatic Walk.)
This exercise can be taken every morning on the way to
business on the nice icy sidewalks now prevalent. Position
of figure in dotted lines customary finish. Breathe deeply.
Ruses of the Japanese
GENERAL VON FROBEL, a German military
expert with the Russian army in the late war, writes
of Japanese ruses: "In the middle of February last I was
with Rennenkampf 's cavalry on the extreme right of the
Russian army. A flag of truce arrived and handed in sev-
eral letters written in unexceptionable Russian. One was
to General Rennenkampf, and contained a polite request that,
since hostilities did not appear to be imminent, he would
allow his officers to meet the Japanese cavalry officers at
a picnic. Feb. 20 was proposed for this entertainment, but
the Japanese hosts were ready to put it off till a later date
if more convenient. The proposed picnic actually took place,
and the Russian and Japanese officers met Feb. 21. To un-
derstand the point of this little Japanese joke it is necessary
to remember that the great Japanese offensive movement
began on the 20th, but against the Russian extreme left
not the Russian right. Thus, while both sides were picnicking
on the Liauho they were fighting at the Dalin pass.
"At Mukden the staff interpreter had commandeered"my
Chinese servant to assist him in translating the contents of
a packet of letters which had just been taken from the
bodies of dead Japanese. From these letters it appeared
that we had Nogi's armyor at least portions of itin
front of us. We were confirmed in this belief by the Japa
nese themselves. We were fighting at very close quarters,
and the Japanese constantly shouted to us in Russian that
they had come from Port Arthur. I was afterward taken
prisoner, and during the whole period of my captivity I re-
mained under the impression that we had been fighting
Nogi's army. Judge of my astonishment when at last, on
my release, I procured a newspaper and found that Nogi's
army had been fighting in an entirely different part of the
theater of war, and that we had been engaged vsith a newly
formed army, called the army of the Yalu!"
HE UNDERSTOOD CHRISTMAS.
Beverly Warner, of New Orleans, was making
a address before a Sunday school.
"Christmas is approaching," he said, "an I am sure
you are all glad of that. May you all be able to appreciate
the beautiful meaning of Christmas as well as a little fellow
of New York that I know.
"This boy attended a Christmas service last year in an
old-fashioned church, in one of those churches where the
pews are square, like a room, and the seats face four ways.
"The boy sat down with his back to the pulpit, A\heie
upon his mother said:
'Don't sit with your back to the pulpit, Jim. It isn't
nice.'
"Looking at her innocently, the boy made a reply that
showed a great deal of Christmas knowledge.
'What is the difference, mother?' he said. 'Isn't God
everywhere?'
LIKE A SOOT.
FORAKER at a banquet touched upon Niagara.
"There are thousands of odd stories about Niagara,"
he said. "Thousands of people, being disappointed when
they first see the falls, vent the queerest remarks in their
depressed mood.
"There was a Scot who visited Niagara in the autumn.
He had come thousands of miles to worship, and I suppose
he expected to see too much.
"At any rate, Niagara disappointed him. He stood and
looked at it in silence.
"But his companion was pleased.
'Ah,' he exclaimed, 'how grand, how majestic, how
divinely beautiful it is.'
'The Scot only grunted.
'Hoot, mon,' said he, 'we mun try hoo it mixes wi*
whuskey.'
"EVERYBODY WORKS," ETC.
OW nice my watchman has become,
How nice my janitor,
My elevator man as well,
And she who scrubs my floor.
Oh, why have all become so nice,
So smiling, and so spry?
The twenty-fifth is drawing near.
And still I wonder why.
PROBABLY.
HE ferryboat crossed the river slowly in a furious snow
storm.
"The mermaids under the water hare no snow, have
they?" said a little boy in the bow.
"No," his mother answered.
""Then," said he, "instead of snowball fights do they
have fishball fights?"
i'SA.irr i -i -sFt I4**A st sails
4
i
Tuesday ItonfafeM* THE ^MINNEAPOLIS JOURNAL. December !9, 1905
MRScilM.fW.
THE
VISCOUNT
WALTER THOMAS
A String of Good Stories
cannot tell how the truth may bs
i say the tals as 'twas said to as."
OVER-RATED THEIR CAPACITY.
SWIFT, the president of the National Coun
American Women, was making a brief address
on the subject of Christmas gifts.
"Don't give presents," she said, "that demand on their
recipient's part a certain special kind of knowledge. Don't,
for instance, give a Japanese toy dog to a woman who
scarcely understands fox terriers. Don't give a white Per-
sian monkey to a woman who can't keep a cat. Don't give
an aquarium of Ceylonese gold fish to
Mrs. Swift bit her lip to hide a smile.
A friend of mine in Santa Barbara got from her hus-
band last Christmas a superb aquarium of gold fish," she
said. "The fish did well till my friend changed her parlor
maid. Then they began to thin and to weaken.
"One morning, finding two of the fish afloat on their
backs at the surface of the aquarium, my friend called the
new maid to her.
'Harriet,' she said, 'have you given the fish any fresh
water lately?'
'No, ma'am,' Harriet answered. 'They haven't finished
the water I gave them last month yet.'
MAN AND WIFE,
snow, was falling. The day was still and gray and
cold. Dr. Parkhurst, shaking the white flakes from hie
shoulders, said:
I have just witnessed an instructive happeninga hap-
pening that might teach us why some marriages do not suc-
ceed.
A man and his wife were walking down a back street.
The man had his hands in his pockets. The woman carried
a basket filled with cabbage and beets.
A group of boys danced like imps on a corner. They
had snowballs in their hands. As soon as the married couple
had passed them, they let drive.
"But only the woman was struck. She got two heavy
blows about the head and face. Every snowball, somehow,
missed the man.
"He looked at his wife as she brushed the snow out of
her ears and hair, and then he shook his fist at the boys and
shouted:
"It's a good thing for you, you young rascals, that you
didn't hit me.'"
RATHER AWKWARD.
DE BELMONT, of Brazil, was dining in a
New York restaurant. Suddenly he put down his knife
and fork, and uttered an exclamation of approval.
"By Jove, a beautiful woman," he said, the demon
strative southern way.
"She is my wife," the viscount's companion murmured
modestly.
At this the young man laughed.
"How fortunate I was," he said, "to praise the lady.
Yes, I was far more fortunate than an Oxford friend of mine.
"My friend, on the boat coming over, stood in conversa
tion with an elderly man on the promenade deck. Nearby
a woman sat in a deck chair. My friend, pointing to her,
said with a sneer:
I wonder if that ugly old woman is actually trying
to flirt with me!'
'I don't know,' the elderly gentleman answered mildly,
'but I can easily find out for you. She's my wife.'
NOT THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT.
t|T ISN'T the presentsit's the spirit," said January
1 Jones, the millionaire miner of Goldfields, apropos of
Christmas.
I was in a bric-a-brac shop last January, and something
that took place there showed me that to many of us the
Christmas spirit is not the proper one.
I was talking to the proprietor. One of the clerks
stepped up excitedly, his eyes beaming with the hope of a
big sale.
'Say, boss,' he whispered, 'give me the key to the
safe. Theie's a lady wants a solitaire just like the one she
has on. She thinks it will be fun to have two rings alike.'
"The proprietor did not bring forth the key. He only
shook his head and said sadly:
'Don't waste any time on her. The ring she has on
is a Christmas present, and she only wants to find out what
it cost'
SPEED.
CHRISTIE was talking about his "Blue
Fiver," the huge and handsome racing-car with which
he amazed Cape May' last summer.
"One day in August," lie6
said, I took a run out into
the country, and somehow got lost. On towards dusk I found
myself at the meeting-point of four crossroads, and unable
to tell which road would lead me back to Cape May.
So I pulled up and waited, and soon a boy ing a cow
appeared.
'My lad,' I said, I want to get to Cape May.'
"The little fellow stared at my 110-horsepower car, and
then said calmly:
'Well, jest foiler this cow an' ye'11 get thar.'
A WASHINGTON FEATURE.
NELSON PAGE was pointing out the salient
characteristics,of Washington.
"One characteristic is, he said, "the formal dress that
all men wear.
"You don't see the men, in Washington, clad in rough
sack suits, tan-colored shoes, and lounge hats. Like Lon
doners, they wear the black and ceremonious frock coat,
with its various rich concomitants.
"This fact drew from a little boy I know a quaint re-
mark.
'Mama,' he said, during his first drive thru Wash
ington's streets, 'there must have been a sale.'
A sale?' said she. What of?'
'High hats,' said the little boy."
CHEEK OP A STOWAWAY.
OUNG Captain Sealby, of the Mediterranean liner Cretic,
was talking about stowaways.
"Most of those fellows," he said, in his deep, resonant
voice, "have an excessive quantity of cheek, of brass.
"Once we discovered a stowaway a few days out from
New York, and put him to work in the galley.
A lady, on a tour of inspection, paused by the stow
away as he sat peeling potatoes.
'How soon do you think we'll reach NaplesJ' she said
to him.
'Well, madam,' he replied, 'I am doing all I can to
get her in by Tuesday.'
HIS MASSAGE CREAM WAS BAD.
UMBLY he besought alms.
The woman, however, eyed him with suspicion.
"Your nose is red," she bluntly declared.
And he admitted the truth of that charge.
"But wot kin yer expect," he said bitterly, "consideron'
the cheap massage creams us poor fellows has ter use?"
iL
v- *V)t -t
Keep the
Little Darling's
Hands Warm
Rings
and
Watches
A SCENE THE SENATE DOES NOT WANT TO MISS.
Washington Post.
And Give An
Acceptable Present
At the Smtne Time
QAMOSSI
makes a specialty of
handwoar for the
youngsters.
Little Wool Mittens,
from 10* to 25c.
White Mocha Mit
tens, fur top, SOG.
Genuine Angora hand
knitted Mittens89e.
610 NICOLLET,
GamossiNo.20
Distinctive
Holiday Gifts
OPERA GLASSES
All the best makes,
Flammarlon, Colmont and
Lemalre, upward from $3.50.
LORGNETTES
Artistic designs in gold,
silver, silver gilt and shell.
Prices begin at $4.50.
THERMOMETERS
BAROMETERS, ETC.
A great variety of designs
and combinations, some as low
as 75c.
KODAK AND PHOTO
OUTFITS
From the $1.00 Brownie
Cameras to complete outfits
with celebrated Zeiss lenses,
for advanced amateurs.
OPTICIAN.
604 Nicollet Avenue.
I offer the
prettiest ring in the
sold gold, set with
a beautiful white
diamond, only
A gentleman's 20-year guaranteed
gold case with fine American
movement, regular
price $11j special
only
14
$8.50
American
$7.75
S. SCHAFFER, Jeweler
243 Nicollet Avenue.
Watches Cleaned.. 75c
Mam Springs 75c
5 "Warranted One Year. S
Vtl^SnnisViHf/
Burliitri
111
VMBRELLAS
FOR LITTLE TOTS
Miniature Umbrellas in all
sizes from 14-mch. to 24-inch
small enough for children
of 3 to the grown-ups of 12.
A novel and practical present.
From $2.50 down to 50c
apiece.
610 Nicollet Avenue.
No 20.
When You Think
of Changing Your Laundry
Remember the Hennepin.
New Methods in
Laundry Work
The new flat pressure
method of ironing men's
shirts is far superior to the
usual way of roller ironing
machines. I insures a bet
ter finished, perfect fitting
and non-bulging shirt.
The Hennepin is entirely
equipped with the machines.
Low Holiday Rates
Dec. 22, 23, 24, 25, 30 and 31, and Jan. i.
To allPointson the
Burlington Route
Good Returning Until Jan. 4, 1906.
Come in and let us tell yon about them.
i j^fe-ai^l tWS&- E~
ii
Gamossi
1
For a trial next Monday
Call T. C. 120
N. W Main 621-J
Hennepin Laundry Go.
120-122 First Av. N.
MIS MASTER'S VOICC**
VICTOR AN EDISON MACHINES
On Easy Payments.
Minnesota Phonograph Co.
(Open evenings.) 618 NICOLLET AYE. i
Write for Edison or Victor Catalog,
Even Carpets Can Be
Dyed.
We are the only house In the
Northwest capable of dveing
carpets and we do it fine A
soiled carpet can be made to
look very pretty by our process
If you are not located in town
you can send them to us If
located here we will send our
wagon.
Burlington Route Ticket Offices, Cor
nell of Third S and Nicollet Av. and
Union Depot. Phones T. C. 311 and
N. W. Main 860.
MCELROY,
City Passenger Agent.