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16 1 RABBIT, "ME Wcfn f/ie Lonjgr Bow GOVERNORthELROD "Bye aattm's walks, shoot tolly as tt fibs.' Governor Elrod's Rise in the World Due to Hard Work and Abstinence from OigaretsWhy a Devotee of the Little Nail Could Not Take Oare of the College Furnace. of South Dakota, in a talk on educa 'tion in Methodist church at Pierre, told how he spent the days of his boyhood in the poverty incident to the backwoods life of Indiana. How at 17, an awkward boy from the sawmill, he received from a young college man who strolled into his vicinity, without a nail in his face, the first Impulse towards an education. The next year, clothed in jeans and calico shirt, but without a cigaret in his counte nance, tho in other ways as unpromising a specimen as ever appeared in college halls, he was accepted into the second preparatory class of Ashbury college, and, doing janitor work during the school months, and binding in the harvest, he worked his way thru six years of faithful application, to his graduation. During the last two college years he car- ried a law course on the side, so that upon graduation he passed the examination and was admitted to the bar. No cigaret dude could have done janitor work and cared properly for the college furnace. Seated on a bench, he would have bargained with some small town boy to carry out the ashes. The result would have been that the boy would have dropped them on the stairs, and the faculty, finding the ashes there and smelling the cigaret, would have been ''down on" Elrod, who would soon have left college, gone to some less rigorous climate and been merely Governor of New Mexico instead of South Dakota. Keep free from the cigaret, boys, if yon want to rise in the world. The baggage smashers at the N. P. station at Fargo re- ceived a reproof the other day. "Here," shouted Special Officer Costello, "what do you mean by throwing those tiunks around like that?" The baggageman gasped in astonishment, and several trav elers pinched themselves to make sure that it was real. "Don't you see that you are making big dents in this platform?" Santa Clans' poultry farm in Alaska has hatched out a fine crop of reindeer, and they are now making a hurried flight south in order to be on hand for Christmas. When the "halfbreeds" of North Dakota were getting togethei Fargo recently Senator Crane waved away a few curious reporters who wanted to know what was doing. Some of the boys took offense at these Japanese tactics, and the Linton Record now refers to the senator as a sour visaged dyspeptic," a pet name that caused Mr. Crane to titter loudlv. Ex-Governov White of North Dakota is erecting a barn in Barnes county of sueh vast size and along such excellent architectural lines that cows come from a long distance mere ly to stand and gaze at it. It is not the governor's intention to have any historic paintings in the dome, nor will Tarara marble be used in the stalls. Nevertheless, it rips the clap- boards off of every barn in that section. This is as it should be. A. J. R. What the Market Affords 20 cents each. Pancake flour, 10 cents a package. Cracked wheat, two-pound package, 15 cents. Cheese wafers, 15 cents a package. Mangoe pickles, 50 cents a quart. Figs, 15 cents a pound. Rabbits are more plentiful in the market this week than they have been, and if you want to try a panned rabbit you will find it \ery tasty. Dress a fat young rabbit, lay it on a board, and with a cleaver flatten it out. Place it in a baking pan, breast side down, spread with butter, season with salt and pepper, and bake for an hour in a quick oven, basting frequently with hot water and butter. Serve with tomato sauce and brown gravy. If you want something different from the conventional plum pudding for Christmas, tiy a fig pudding. Chop fine half a pound of beef suet. Mix thoroly with one cup of flour, then add a pound of figs, chopped fine, one cup of brown sugar, rolled smooth, and a section of candied orange peel, simmeied in syrup and chopped fine. Mix all together thoro ly. Pass thru a sieve, together, two cups of sifted flour, two level teaspoonfuls of baking powder, half a teaspoonful of salt, one-fourth a teaspoonful of cloves, half a grated nut- meg, and half a teaspoonful each of cinnamon and mace. Then sift again into the other ingredients, and mix the whole together thoroly. Beat two eggs, add half a cup of sweet milk, and stir into the dry ingredients to form a stiff dough. Turn into a buttered mold, and steam six hours. Serve with hard or liquid pudding sauce. Hard SauceBeat half a cup of butter to a cream, then gradually beat in a cup of sugar. When very light, beat in gradually the white of one egg, beaten dry, and a teaspoonful of vanilla extract, or one or two tablespoonfuls of sherry wine. THE ARCHAIC CAT. APHET looked out of the window and yawned. "Water, water everywhere," he remarked. I say, Ham, do you suppose cats can swim?" "Don't know, I'm sure. Let'B wake Shem and then we'll find out." "We'd better tie a string round her neck," suggested Shern^ "then if she can't swim, we can pull her in. S they caught the cat, tied on a string, and dropped her from the window. "She can! She can! they shouted but just then the dinner-bell rang. "Plum duffl" they cried as with one voice, and tumbled down the stairs. At first the cat rather enjoyed her adventure and swam along merrily enough the sun had begun to shine by this time, the air was delightfully fresh after the stuffy ark, and the connecting string helped her more than she realized. But a sudden gust of wind made the ark lurch violently, the string snapped, and the poor cat found herself being left slowly astern. She called for help as loudly as she could, for it took all her strength to swim, and the giraffe, who was 'of a benevolent nature, finally noticed her cries. "Methinks," said he, I hear a fellow-being in distress." "Oh, don't you care," said the rat with a wicked grin. ^"It's only that old cat. She's always sitting on the roof to sing." $ But the kind-hearted giraffe looked out of the window. Spying poor Mrs. Cat, he stretched his long neck to its utmost ^nd finally succeeded in pulling her m. She lapped her wet fur disconsolately. "More than enough is too much," she said, and her descendants hate twater to this very day.Lippincott's. A PRECOCIOUS PATRIARCH. B'Y talked w'in he wor two wakes old." That's nothing. Job cursed the day he was born. MAJOR THEnRev. SENATOR *A.3? y" $, &>- i THE JOURNAL'S HOME EXERCISE SYSTEM. ILL Exercise No. VII. (The Acrobatic Walk.) This exercise can be taken every morning on the way to business on the nice icy sidewalks now prevalent. Position of figure in dotted lines customary finish. Breathe deeply. Ruses of the Japanese GENERAL VON FROBEL, a German military expert with the Russian army in the late war, writes of Japanese ruses: "In the middle of February last I was with Rennenkampf 's cavalry on the extreme right of the Russian army. A flag of truce arrived and handed in sev- eral letters written in unexceptionable Russian. One was to General Rennenkampf, and contained a polite request that, since hostilities did not appear to be imminent, he would allow his officers to meet the Japanese cavalry officers at a picnic. Feb. 20 was proposed for this entertainment, but the Japanese hosts were ready to put it off till a later date if more convenient. The proposed picnic actually took place, and the Russian and Japanese officers met Feb. 21. To un- derstand the point of this little Japanese joke it is necessary to remember that the great Japanese offensive movement began on the 20th, but against the Russian extreme left not the Russian right. Thus, while both sides were picnicking on the Liauho they were fighting at the Dalin pass. "At Mukden the staff interpreter had commandeered"my Chinese servant to assist him in translating the contents of a packet of letters which had just been taken from the bodies of dead Japanese. From these letters it appeared that we had Nogi's armyor at least portions of itin front of us. We were confirmed in this belief by the Japa nese themselves. We were fighting at very close quarters, and the Japanese constantly shouted to us in Russian that they had come from Port Arthur. I was afterward taken prisoner, and during the whole period of my captivity I re- mained under the impression that we had been fighting Nogi's army. Judge of my astonishment when at last, on my release, I procured a newspaper and found that Nogi's army had been fighting in an entirely different part of the theater of war, and that we had been engaged vsith a newly formed army, called the army of the Yalu!" HE UNDERSTOOD CHRISTMAS. Beverly Warner, of New Orleans, was making a address before a Sunday school. "Christmas is approaching," he said, "an I am sure you are all glad of that. May you all be able to appreciate the beautiful meaning of Christmas as well as a little fellow of New York that I know. "This boy attended a Christmas service last year in an old-fashioned church, in one of those churches where the pews are square, like a room, and the seats face four ways. "The boy sat down with his back to the pulpit, A\heie upon his mother said: 'Don't sit with your back to the pulpit, Jim. It isn't nice.' "Looking at her innocently, the boy made a reply that showed a great deal of Christmas knowledge. 'What is the difference, mother?' he said. 'Isn't God everywhere?' LIKE A SOOT. FORAKER at a banquet touched upon Niagara. "There are thousands of odd stories about Niagara," he said. "Thousands of people, being disappointed when they first see the falls, vent the queerest remarks in their depressed mood. "There was a Scot who visited Niagara in the autumn. He had come thousands of miles to worship, and I suppose he expected to see too much. "At any rate, Niagara disappointed him. He stood and looked at it in silence. "But his companion was pleased. 'Ah,' he exclaimed, 'how grand, how majestic, how divinely beautiful it is.' 'The Scot only grunted. 'Hoot, mon,' said he, 'we mun try hoo it mixes wi* whuskey.' "EVERYBODY WORKS," ETC. OW nice my watchman has become, How nice my janitor, My elevator man as well, And she who scrubs my floor. Oh, why have all become so nice, So smiling, and so spry? The twenty-fifth is drawing near. And still I wonder why. PROBABLY. HE ferryboat crossed the river slowly in a furious snow storm. "The mermaids under the water hare no snow, have they?" said a little boy in the bow. "No," his mother answered. ""Then," said he, "instead of snowball fights do they have fishball fights?" i'SA.irr i -i -sFt I4**A st sails 4 i Tuesday ItonfafeM* THE ^MINNEAPOLIS JOURNAL. December !9, 1905 MRScilM.fW. THE VISCOUNT WALTER THOMAS A String of Good Stories cannot tell how the truth may bs i say the tals as 'twas said to as." OVER-RATED THEIR CAPACITY. SWIFT, the president of the National Coun American Women, was making a brief address on the subject of Christmas gifts. "Don't give presents," she said, "that demand on their recipient's part a certain special kind of knowledge. Don't, for instance, give a Japanese toy dog to a woman who scarcely understands fox terriers. Don't give a white Per- sian monkey to a woman who can't keep a cat. Don't give an aquarium of Ceylonese gold fish to Mrs. Swift bit her lip to hide a smile. A friend of mine in Santa Barbara got from her hus- band last Christmas a superb aquarium of gold fish," she said. "The fish did well till my friend changed her parlor maid. Then they began to thin and to weaken. "One morning, finding two of the fish afloat on their backs at the surface of the aquarium, my friend called the new maid to her. 'Harriet,' she said, 'have you given the fish any fresh water lately?' 'No, ma'am,' Harriet answered. 'They haven't finished the water I gave them last month yet.' MAN AND WIFE, snow, was falling. The day was still and gray and cold. Dr. Parkhurst, shaking the white flakes from hie shoulders, said: I have just witnessed an instructive happeninga hap- pening that might teach us why some marriages do not suc- ceed. A man and his wife were walking down a back street. The man had his hands in his pockets. The woman carried a basket filled with cabbage and beets. A group of boys danced like imps on a corner. They had snowballs in their hands. As soon as the married couple had passed them, they let drive. "But only the woman was struck. She got two heavy blows about the head and face. Every snowball, somehow, missed the man. "He looked at his wife as she brushed the snow out of her ears and hair, and then he shook his fist at the boys and shouted: "It's a good thing for you, you young rascals, that you didn't hit me.'" RATHER AWKWARD. DE BELMONT, of Brazil, was dining in a New York restaurant. Suddenly he put down his knife and fork, and uttered an exclamation of approval. "By Jove, a beautiful woman," he said, the demon strative southern way. "She is my wife," the viscount's companion murmured modestly. At this the young man laughed. "How fortunate I was," he said, "to praise the lady. Yes, I was far more fortunate than an Oxford friend of mine. "My friend, on the boat coming over, stood in conversa tion with an elderly man on the promenade deck. Nearby a woman sat in a deck chair. My friend, pointing to her, said with a sneer: I wonder if that ugly old woman is actually trying to flirt with me!' 'I don't know,' the elderly gentleman answered mildly, 'but I can easily find out for you. She's my wife.' NOT THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT. t|T ISN'T the presentsit's the spirit," said January 1 Jones, the millionaire miner of Goldfields, apropos of Christmas. I was in a bric-a-brac shop last January, and something that took place there showed me that to many of us the Christmas spirit is not the proper one. I was talking to the proprietor. One of the clerks stepped up excitedly, his eyes beaming with the hope of a big sale. 'Say, boss,' he whispered, 'give me the key to the safe. Theie's a lady wants a solitaire just like the one she has on. She thinks it will be fun to have two rings alike.' "The proprietor did not bring forth the key. He only shook his head and said sadly: 'Don't waste any time on her. The ring she has on is a Christmas present, and she only wants to find out what it cost' SPEED. CHRISTIE was talking about his "Blue Fiver," the huge and handsome racing-car with which he amazed Cape May' last summer. "One day in August," lie6 said, I took a run out into the country, and somehow got lost. On towards dusk I found myself at the meeting-point of four crossroads, and unable to tell which road would lead me back to Cape May. So I pulled up and waited, and soon a boy ing a cow appeared. 'My lad,' I said, I want to get to Cape May.' "The little fellow stared at my 110-horsepower car, and then said calmly: 'Well, jest foiler this cow an' ye'11 get thar.' A WASHINGTON FEATURE. NELSON PAGE was pointing out the salient characteristics,of Washington. "One characteristic is, he said, "the formal dress that all men wear. "You don't see the men, in Washington, clad in rough sack suits, tan-colored shoes, and lounge hats. Like Lon doners, they wear the black and ceremonious frock coat, with its various rich concomitants. "This fact drew from a little boy I know a quaint re- mark. 'Mama,' he said, during his first drive thru Wash ington's streets, 'there must have been a sale.' A sale?' said she. What of?' 'High hats,' said the little boy." CHEEK OP A STOWAWAY. OUNG Captain Sealby, of the Mediterranean liner Cretic, was talking about stowaways. "Most of those fellows," he said, in his deep, resonant voice, "have an excessive quantity of cheek, of brass. "Once we discovered a stowaway a few days out from New York, and put him to work in the galley. A lady, on a tour of inspection, paused by the stow away as he sat peeling potatoes. 'How soon do you think we'll reach NaplesJ' she said to him. 'Well, madam,' he replied, 'I am doing all I can to get her in by Tuesday.' HIS MASSAGE CREAM WAS BAD. UMBLY he besought alms. The woman, however, eyed him with suspicion. "Your nose is red," she bluntly declared. And he admitted the truth of that charge. "But wot kin yer expect," he said bitterly, "consideron' the cheap massage creams us poor fellows has ter use?" iL v- *V)t -t Keep the Little Darling's Hands Warm Rings and Watches A SCENE THE SENATE DOES NOT WANT TO MISS. Washington Post. And Give An Acceptable Present At the Smtne Time QAMOSSI makes a specialty of handwoar for the youngsters. Little Wool Mittens, from 10* to 25c. White Mocha Mit tens, fur top, SOG. Genuine Angora hand knitted Mittens89e. 610 NICOLLET, GamossiNo.20 Distinctive Holiday Gifts OPERA GLASSES All the best makes, Flammarlon, Colmont and Lemalre, upward from $3.50. LORGNETTES Artistic designs in gold, silver, silver gilt and shell. Prices begin at $4.50. THERMOMETERS BAROMETERS, ETC. A great variety of designs and combinations, some as low as 75c. KODAK AND PHOTO OUTFITS From the $1.00 Brownie Cameras to complete outfits with celebrated Zeiss lenses, for advanced amateurs. OPTICIAN. 604 Nicollet Avenue. I offer the prettiest ring in the sold gold, set with a beautiful white diamond, only A gentleman's 20-year guaranteed gold case with fine American movement, regular price $11j special only 14 $8.50 American $7.75 S. SCHAFFER, Jeweler 243 Nicollet Avenue. Watches Cleaned.. 75c Mam Springs 75c 5 "Warranted One Year. S Vtl^SnnisViHf/ Burliitri 111 VMBRELLAS FOR LITTLE TOTS Miniature Umbrellas in all sizes from 14-mch. to 24-inch small enough for children of 3 to the grown-ups of 12. A novel and practical present. From $2.50 down to 50c apiece. 610 Nicollet Avenue. No 20. When You Think of Changing Your Laundry Remember the Hennepin. New Methods in Laundry Work The new flat pressure method of ironing men's shirts is far superior to the usual way of roller ironing machines. I insures a bet ter finished, perfect fitting and non-bulging shirt. The Hennepin is entirely equipped with the machines. Low Holiday Rates Dec. 22, 23, 24, 25, 30 and 31, and Jan. i. To allPointson the Burlington Route Good Returning Until Jan. 4, 1906. Come in and let us tell yon about them. i j^fe-ai^l tWS&- E~ ii Gamossi 1 For a trial next Monday Call T. C. 120 N. W Main 621-J Hennepin Laundry Go. 120-122 First Av. N. MIS MASTER'S VOICC** VICTOR AN EDISON MACHINES On Easy Payments. Minnesota Phonograph Co. (Open evenings.) 618 NICOLLET AYE. i Write for Edison or Victor Catalog, Even Carpets Can Be Dyed. We are the only house In the Northwest capable of dveing carpets and we do it fine A soiled carpet can be made to look very pretty by our process If you are not located in town you can send them to us If located here we will send our wagon. Burlington Route Ticket Offices, Cor nell of Third S and Nicollet Av. and Union Depot. Phones T. C. 311 and N. W. Main 860. MCELROY, City Passenger Agent.