lilll "r-^~r-Ttr f-
With the Long Bow
A Small Hot Bee Attacks the House of Mr. Sweetala of
That Busy, Little Burg, Moving I From Its Foundations.
HE Waupaca Wis., Post of Jan.' 4, gathered this surpris
ing bit of local news:
&> Nick Sweetala had a bee Mon-
*S?T day morning moving his house.
'We have all of us sedn a hornet move a small boy quite
'rapidly, but few have seen the busy bee tackle a house. How
ever, it might have been one of those small houses. Jg
S-^"' The incident is an encouraging one, the presence of the
jfffbee indicating the approach of spring with its vernal flowers
V: springing from the dark mould. P. S. &ee our poem of April
1 Poultney Bigelow may properly be described, to use an
^:epithet of,Doc Bixfcy's," ase a therma"l unit,,""thermal'? mean-
\r Both the national government and the New York County
Medical society have been on the trail of the Force of Life
company. Do you know what the Force, does for you? You
don't? *Your ignorance of this great medicine may cost you
your life. What wiH the Force do? Let it speak for itself:
"Cure everything! Return your money if you are not
satisfied! Dr. Blank's great life-giving fluid discpvered by
accident! Send some hair or blood for diagnosis! All let-
ters treated as confidential and secret! We combat any and
all maladies! Make hopeless invalids well! Unclasp the re-
morseless fingers of death!"
-r: The government analyzed the Fluid and found that mate
rial for which the victim paid $6 cost 35c. It was made up of
ordinary drugs well known to the pharmacist. The offer to re-
turn the money of dissatisfied customers was tested and
found untrue a regular system of decoy-letters for obtain
ing ,testimonials was uncovered the secrecy promised cus-
^tomers' letters was found to be a recording of them for fu-
ture reference,^after which they were sold to other "medical"
companies in search of a "subscription" list.
The list of officials of the company was found to contain
presidents of national banks and trust companies, an ex-lieu
tenant governor of Connecticut, the president of a suburban
street railway company, directors, in co-operative banks, and,
not so much to be wondered at, perhaps, a former New York
state superintendent of insurance.
The government is to bring the Force to trial shortly and
many prominent people will be in trouble. The days of the
ghouls who live on other people's sicknesses and ignorance
seem to be getting more troubled.
The Square Deal isn't so bad as an issue. One of its beau
ties is its comprehensiveness.
At one time in his life Ben Franklin was a vegetarian.
He tells how he was tempted and fell.
"Being becalmed off Block Island, our people set about
catching cod, and hauled up a great many. Hitherto I had
stuck to my resolution of not eating animal food. But I
had formerly been a great lover of fish, and, when this came
hot out of the frying pany it smelt admirably well. I bal-
anced some time between principle and inclination, till I
recollected tftat, when the fish were opened, I saw smaller
Ssh taken out of their stomachs then thought I, 'If/you eat*
one another, I don't see why we mayn't eat you.' So I dined
upon cod very heartily, and continued to eat with other peo
pie, returning only now and then occasionally t6 a vegetable
iiet. So convenient a thing it is to be a reasonable creature,
dnce it enables one^to find, or make, a reason for everything
me has a mind to do.
This shows that the first great American was not only a
philosopher but a humorist.
Professor White, a normal school teacher in Pennsylvania,
wallowed his false teeth. The X-ray man ca'ught pictures of
:hem on his machine for several days, but has now lost track
them. As the professor suffers no particular discomfort
nseept from the fear that he may bite himself without mean-N
Hg it, he refuses to be cut open on a chance. He is teaching
right along as usual, but the students knowing his predica
ment are difficult to keep in order. A. J. R.
What the Market Affords
ALL the dishes of which Baron De^witz speaks so highly
he insists that there is none that is more deservedly
)opular than the "mosaik" sandwich of Russia. To make it
'equires a variety of materials and a great deal of care, but
5[' Jhe result is guaranteed to rejmy one for the trouble taken
concocting it. Take first an almost paper-thin sjice of
jmmpernickle butter it lightly, and,'-on top of it place an
jl jqually thin slice of ham over that a slice of white bread,
mttered on both sides on that spread a layer of caviar
jpon that another slice ofjsumpernipkle then, in rotation,
_n on top of the other, a sli,ce of chicken, buttered white
'iread, a layer of cream .cheese, and, lastly, another slice of
,*pumpernickle. When* this pillar of edibles has been "com-
jkj dieted place it in a press anct leave it, under a considerable
--eight, for at least half an hour. In serving it the sandwich
cut with af very sharp knife, perpendicularly from end to
.nd. In Russian society no function is-deemed complete un-
*?jess the "mosaik" sandwich is served, v.^
To make. Boston sandwiches take a pint of cold baked
|f J^eans and mix with them a half cupful of fried and finely
^'^injnced bacon.: When yon have a smooth mixture spread it
'fgl^fctween buttered slices of Boston brown bread. Serve hot or
M^*,old as you prefer.
~&l ,.H is a delicious touch to dip lamb chops for an instant in
emon juice before placing them on the broiler.
QUEER SIGNS I N TbEIO.
4 A JAPANESE is usually so happy and proud over an
i English sign that he never questions its correctness,"
'rites a Tokio correspondent. "Sometimes when he has it
-*%ht the painter improves upon it, as witness: 'Hah'd.
,'2sser.' Note the period after the word "Haird.' And again:
Boot Maeker.' Over an ice store: -Eei.' Sometimes the
igns are hopelessly misspelled. 'H Takeqda, Karare and
uifus.' This sign puzzled me not a little till I looked in the
baler's window and saw he was a maker of collars and
ffs. A haberdasher advertises the faet that he sells 'The
^idoming' Goods.' A shop I would Svoid has" ffijyffg?^^
larbsr,' while ^nnth'.j-'s sign readsK'Barber the Kindness
"Eye Baton's' walks, shoot folly as- fltoa."
Indications of the Approach of Spring at Waupaca, Wis.
and unit maning one yiz., a hot one
Poult may know something about the Emperor William, but
his, 24-hour investigation of the big*government jab at Pan
ama shows surprising signs of paresis of the information"V
An electrician felUhru the skylight info thg probate court
Thursday, tout came to just in time to prevent Judge Harvey
from probating his will and closing up the estate.
*wW N- JUS/ i
T. Taukawa announces that he is 'High Wash-
IS HE RUSHING YOUR BOY.
From the Hogwallow Kentuckian.
Hocks, who is getting
to be so efficiently ac
complished in the art of
dentistry, has added to
his already substantial
popularity by filing off
a tooth for Miss Fruzie
Allsop Friday evening.
A dance will be
given at the home of
Isaac Hellwanger next
Saturday night. Miss
Codelia Hellwanger is
getting it up, and she
has invited everybody
but Yam Sims. Yam
will 1 probably go any-
hj6\$ if, hi^ets his head.
-fiTobef Meseley has
created quite a lot of
favorable talk by some
of the financial nego
tiations he has made GAINING WIDE ra*uiJENCE.
this week. Monday morning he traded a mule valued at $3.25
for a cow and calf and two rabbit dawgs. He then traded
the cow for a drove of geese, and then traded them for a
double-barrel shotgun, after which he sold the calf to the
p. m. for some ammunition, and the last seen of him he was
going rabbit hunting.
A,WIERB NORWEGIAN STORY.
ORWEGIANS are much concerned over a strange inci
dent of the festivities which welcomed King Haakon to
Christiania. A Christiania newspaper thus describes it:
"At the very time when the royal procession had to pass the
ancient ^fortress of Akerhus there was assembled there a
great number of spectators, mostly military, in order to see
the new king drive past. While the spectators were waiting,
to see the king in great excitement a jingling sound was
heard and suddenly the crowned statue of King Oscar fell
to the ground. At the same moment the crown fell off and
Was crushed in the fall. For a moment everyone present felt
a little uncomfortable on witnessing thisincident but it was
immediately forgotten in watching thea'oyal procession. A
few dayslater some members of,the same company were as-
sembledihvanother-part of the town in the house of one of
the fearers, of the government. The conversation turned on
the strange incident of the statue. In the midst of the con
versation a scraping sound'was heard and the portrait of
King Oscar glided down from the wall and fell to- the
ground." It is suspected that the "Lesener Lyre" has been
visiting Christiania lately. ,I^'.'J(.^\
^J^*!(rtfe!SfejK^ajS'sit ^t&S&t'&3fci.Ji&<.i. &..4li
PAPER GAS PIPES.
)APER gas pipes are among the novelties reported from
Europe. Manila paper is cut up into strips whose width
is equal to the length of the pipe section to be used. The
paper bands are then passed in^o a vessel filled with melted
asphalt. After coming out of the bath the prepared strip is
rolled uniformly and very tightly around an iron rod or*pipe
which serves as the core and has the same diameter which
the gas pipe is to' havei The rolling of the paper is stopped
when the right thickness has" been secured^ After the pipe
section which is thus formed has been put thru a high pres
sure-it is covered on the outside by a layer of sand which is
pressed into the asphalt while still hot. The outer surface of
the pipe is treated with a -waterproof compound. It is said
that the pipe is very tight and Js cheaper than metal piping
IDNEY HOCKS ,is building a fence around
A mule he traded for the other day.
Raz Barlow and Sap Spradlen will have
,a fight next Thursday morning. Trouble
has been brewing for several days, and it
promises to be an interesting difficulty.
Frisby Hancock is gaining wide influ
ence thruout this section by carrying a
jug around with him wherever he goes. He
is liable to run for assistant coroner at
Little Fidity Flinders* got hold of Mrs.
Isaac Hellwanger's hat the other day at
church arid devoured several bunches of artificial berries.
Miss Gondola Henstep is a candidate for the admiration
of Yam Sims from all surrounding indications, and has
been soliciting his sup- A.
port by smiling fre
quently in his immediT
WAS told at Delmonico's in New York the speaker,*
a weMrlqiown mining engineer the occasion, a supper5
tbe^pastty^a few professionals.
".Spm yars ago," said the engineer, I received orders
from a Loiidon banking house to examine certain tin mines
in California and communicate results by cable. The house
was of the highest character, the fees were liberal, and I
started at once. My instructions were to proceed to a place
that I shall name Bolton, on the Southern Pacific railway,
where I would meet with a guide to the mines.
"At Bolton I was met by "Judge Sharpe wittifa* buggy
and double team, and was rapidly driven to Premiscal, where
the judge had a ranch, in which we put up over night. I
spent the following two days in examining the property and
mining resources and completing my field notes.v Judge
Sharpe was^anxiotfs to know what I thought of the property",
but he got nothing from me, so back we went to Bolton, where
I took the railway to San Francisco.
"Upon crossing from Oakland to that city I was sur
prised to find at the Market street ferry house my old friend.
General Touchinson, who greeted my return with an effusive
ness that at once put me on my guard. So gjad to see me
back hoped I had enjoyed my trip tb New York, and would
.1 lunch with him next day at the Poodle Dog? This capped
the climax, Touchinson wasn't a "mean man, but
Dog! Well, that evidently meant, something, but what it
turned out to be I never for a moment suspected. Of course,
"On the morrow I accompanied the general to the Poodle
I went and sat down at a cozy round table in a favoir
able light. He ordered terrapin soup, canvasback duck,
champagne and all the rest of ijfc. Tlien Pknew ihat the
business was serious. So I bucked sharply at the champagne
and swore'I was a blue ribbon.
"Since when?" asked the old pard, with an incredulous
'"Vvell, since this morning, if you like,/ was my reply.
'He saw that I meant it, and desisted, just making a
pretense of tasting the liquor himself.
"With coffee and cigars came the business. He said
that he had long desired to have made a thoro examination
of some quartz mines he owned near Reno, Nev., and had
fully made up his mind that I was the man to do it., Now,
for an old friend, what would my charges be?
",'How deep is the mine?" I asked.
1 'Has it workedhas* it any hoisting machineryV
"It hadn't been worked and it had no hoister. In truth
he didn't know mtfch about it. All he knew was its name it
was called the Maryland. I must take my chances and sug
gest a fee thatVould cover them. i^
"Concluding that the mines were a mere prospect easily
surveyed, I mentioned at haphazard a thousand dollars and
traveling, expenses, a sum to. which he at once agreed.
'Let me see,' said the general, reflectively, and holding
up l\is fingers to count, 'twelve times one are-twelve. That's
$12,000.', One traveling expense covers the lot., When can
*I ^replied that I could start on the morrow.
",/WeU, you see,'said the general, gazing absently at the
pattern-,oh wall paper, 'the money for yqur fees is to
comejfrom London and I may not get a cablegram until the
dpy after tomorrow How would that suit you?'
"Oh the^ you.-are offering these Nevada mines in
'j 'No/at leasts not at present. That will depend upon
Jl .^Tfi^what has Lond6n to do with my fees?"
'That's jus*i.|t! That's the point,' responded the honest
old .general. 'The fact is, that in addition to the Nevada gold
mines,, town an interest ip sonae California tin mines down
at Premiscal.' -J.
1^ started., ,r
^'And these mines are being offered in London, with
an .almost certain probability of their acceptance. Much
depends -upon the report of the engineer whom they have
sent .to examine them, and who has already executed his
commission. Of course, he will report favorably.'
"s-'And I presume you don't know the name of this en-
gineer," said rising.
'No!' replied the general, looking a bit confused.
'Well, you'll no doubt learn it in time,' I rejoined.
'Meanwhile, you will be good enough to consider that Nevada
journey quite possible,' and I walked out of the Poodle Dog.
"As I passed the door I heard an angry and baffled voice
exclaim: 'Landlord, bring me the bill!' and that is the last
I ever, saw of Touchinson.
"That night I cabled to London:
'Premiscal mines undesirable at any pride. Owners
unreliable. Do nothing until I report in person. Starting
Saturday for London.'
"A fortnight later I was in St. Swrthin's lane, and the
sale of, the Premiscal mines fell thru.
"Shortly after this time I was invited to dine with the
governor and directors of the Bank of England at the refec
tory in the bank. There were present at this function some
fifteen or twenty gentlemen. The conversation turned upon
the future production of gold. As it-was known to several
of those present that I had visited the principal auriferous
districts, my opinion on the subject was asked by one.
'For the next five years,' said I, 'my estimate is about
$125,000,000 a year.'
'And what proportion of this will Californiat yield?"
'About a million dollars a month,' I replied.
"Then I told them my story of the Premiscal mines.
"That year I had more mining commissions than I could
execute. When I returned to California I had $25,000 in the
bank, every penny of it honestly earned. I tell you, boys,
it pays!" i-
NEW VIEWS OF THE UNIVERSE.
LAN.Gr writes of the theory of the universe held
hy the natives of Australia: "The sky is said to he in-
habited by three persons, a gigantic man with an immense
shaped like that of an emu, a woman and a child who
never develops beyond childhood. The man is called Ul
thaana, meaning spirit.' When a native dies his spirit is
said to ascend to the home of the great Ulthaana, where it
remains (for a short time the Ulthaana then throws it into
the salt water, from which it is rescued by two benevolent
but lesser Ulthaana, Who perpetually reside on tha seashore,
apparently merely, for the purpose of rescuing spirits who
have been subject to the/inhospitable treatment of the great
Ulthaana of the heavens (Alklrra)\ -Henceforth the rescued
spirit bf the dead man lives with the lesser Ulthaana.''
sj-v-.V j6*^^T $ ^Vj*.-
ON THE INSTALLMENT fcLAN." l"^' ]i
A ^'CURIOUS instance the spread of modern ^ideas into
the most .unlikely places is reported froni Sicily, where
a no.tedjjbrigand chief, having captured a^prominent citizen
^^0*taniay has consented to his ransom being, paid on the
"installment system.'.' But the brigand is not quite up to
date, and the advantages of immediate delivery are not in-
cluded in his scheme, so the victim remains a prisoner until
his relatives have paid the last cent,
anuafy JkoJST 1906,
Why We Want
Because we are the oldest,
best established, largest and
most reliable dyers and clean
ers in the northwest.
Absent-Minded ProfessorYou want to marry my daughter? Have I ever
seen you before?
SuitorCertainly. I am the string yon wound around your finger day be-
fore yesterday- when I asked you for her hand.Fligende Blaetter.
Edison and Victor
on Baiy Pfcynents
Minnesota Phooegraph Co.
Economy is not the main reason why you should use Bar
rington Hall, the steel-cut coffee. There is another reason
and, if you are one of those who feel that coffee drinking does
not agree with them, it will appeal to you very strongly. What
we want to say is that even on the score of economy there is
every reason why people who are at all choice in their taste
should prefer Barrington Hall. The steel-cut process, re
moving the tannin-bearing yellow skin, gives the coffee a su
perior flavor which is all coffee flavor, so as a matter of ex
perience it is found that people must be cautioned not to use
so much Barrington Hall, as it takes a fifth less than any
other coffee for the same strength. In fact, it takes just a
fifth less of the same Java and Mocha formula than if the
identical kernels were ground in the conventional coffee mill.
Here is the point: The removal of the bitter tannin-bearing
parchment enables those people to drink and enjoy ceffee
who felt that coffee ground in the old way and unpurified did
not agree with them. In further proofwe are investing over
$100,000.00 in telling the American people the reason about
^TT Roasted, steel-cut, pack-
sale by the better class of grocers, at 35c per pound,
(Teddy-G helping the Porter.)
The Roosevelt Bears
Are traveling East on a Limited Train.
Full account of their "doingB" on the
Sleeper and in the Dining Oar in the Min
neapolis Sunday Journal next Sunday.
Don't miss this part of the story. It is
brimful of fun and has.some jolly good pic
tures. Better place your order at once for
The Minneapolis Sunday Journal
Join.our tour going all. through scenic
in a special train of elegant Pullman ob
i servation, fining and compartment cars.
A month's tour of fascinating pleasure
through the World's most interesting and -r
^beautiful country accompanied by"an expe
^irienced escort with a^taff of assistants and
y. interpreters rejlevingyoubf every care and
^^responsibility. 0 Several vSimilar tours
Send for Edison and Victor Catalog.
Store Open Evening*.
Skavins Outfits. Tsllet
Artlclo. Catlery Oriadinc.
IL H. HEGENER,
207 Nicollet Arc Minneapofls.
Betto Reason Besides.
CCJTfee Baker ^o. tapcter,.
g- furnishing every comfort wi&i unlimited
stop-over privileges. Elegant, hotels.and &fe
The only way to-travel
'it, wmrcoMB co.i:,Wr]
tlH Jackson Bovhvanl. QltKAOO*
to Jfejrot. Holy Land, Florida and Qa&MS.
Tickets to Jamaica, Bermuda. Japan. Europe.
Su 4^ 4 *k.j._
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