The Minneapolis journal. [volume], January 27, 1906, Page 14, Image 15

About The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939

Image provided by: Minnesota Historical Society; Saint Paul, MN

                
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With the Long Bow
A Mere Person Tries to Tell the London Telegraph all About
tne American Woman and Her Very Proper and Oredit-
"^""aMe Desire to Rebuke, Regenerate and Redeem Her Fel-
ls low Mortals.
"PERSON," we say it plainly, a person, has been mat
ing an article in the London Telegraph on "The Ameri
can Woman." This person says by way of introduction:
"American women are born reformers. Nine out
of ten feel themselves commissioned to rebuke, re
generate or redeem their fellow mortals. It is this
passion for conducting other persons' lives that is
responsible in a large degree for the character ex
tent and prosperity of women's clubs in the United
States. Zeal of a somewhat riotous kind finds here
an opportunity to express itself, in words at least."
**"*While there may be much activity in the woman's club
movement, in which we all feel a certain long-distance inter
est, we must express some doubt as to whether the American
woman uses her club as means of conducing other persons'
lives. The American woman has her husband to edit, reform
and lead in the paths of righteousness and until this person
is properly starched, dried and ironed out, the American lady
is not likely to try her prentice hand on the minor affairs of
the world at large.
The American husband from the moment of his capture
^eeds to be trained down and brought into line. He will
tell you this himself. And the cheerful, willing and self
sacrificing way the American woman sets about this task
shows that she will prove herself equal to any governing
emergency that may fall upon her.
Isn't that so, mama?
The state board of agriculture has decided to license no
fakirs this year. This is good. There ought also to be some
way discovered by which parties who make a fortune throw
ing- you out of a Ferris wheel eight hundred feet up in the
air should -be discouraged as well. A man wouldn't allow
his cow to ascend in one of these contraptions. Why should
his family be permitted thus to toy with the death rate?
The Russian revolutionists wired Count Lobsteroff yes-
terday that they had handed out to another count by mistake
%he assassination that was intended for him. However,
added these cheerful patiiots, the mistake will shortly be
rectified. At a diseance it looks as tho the joke was on the
count who was so improperly assisted hence, but perhaps he
needed killing anyway. And what is one count to a peoples'
freedom!
Do you remember those large, rich, red, ripe, luscious
strawberries that sometimes came on the top of the box?
O, thank you! I really think I have had enough, but since
you insist
The Seneca, S. D., Journal tells how the orchestra came
otft last week and nearly picked a hole in the prairie with its
output of sound. The blow-off consisted of about thirty
pieces and each member exhibited great skill in extracting
tiouble from his instrument. If noise were taken into con
sideration, no brass band in the state could equal it. The
inusic was rendered in honor of a young couple who were
expected home from Faulkton on the midnight .train.
When the cars drew up at the station the orchestra went
off like a tempest, pulling nails out of the building, and
sounding like a band of contractors pulling down an old
wooden building at nighttime. There was an illumination on
the main street and the groom "du up five",and looked
.pleasant. Seneca has heard nothing like it since the Fourth
pf July was touched off. A. J. R.
What the Market Affords
i^T YOU want a really delicious club sandwich," says a
,1 woman who is in charge of a large and fashionable tea
room, "use tongue instead of ham." Another authority on
the same subject uses ham, or rather crisp little strips of
breakfast bacon, but he also introduces a little hard boiled'
$ggt crumbled fine, and some minced 6lives.
^^For afternoon tea just try diange marmalade, pecan nuts
,and cream cheese mixed thoroly and spread between thin
Ys' slices of white bread slightly buttered. These should be
made into long, narrow sandwiches, according to Good House
keeping. Also, make baking powder biscuit the size of half a
Idollar, and when cold split them and spread them with a
mayonnaise mixed with minced celery and stuffed olives.
4 Black bread, onions and smoked fish form a most tooth
some appetizer. Cut \ery thin slices from the center of me-
"^jdium-sized white onions and throw them into ice water for
i$n hour. Dry, dip in French dressing and lay them on thin
ipjrcles of black bread, covering them each with a thin layer
'Wqf. shredded smoked sturgeon or whitefish, dusted lightly with
gdpftpnka. life Often when a large bottle of olives is opened and only
partly used, the remainder, tho left in Uhe brine, becomes
g^comparatively tasteless. If half an inch of olive oil is poured
|&*oH .the top and the bottle well corcked, the olives will retain
|5$ieir flavor indefinitely.
An olive placed i each cup before potiring in the*bouillon
m*gi\es the liquid an Added and pleasing flavor.
l$9^ifc^^*&!$V*t$
Saturday ^Evening,
-"Eye nature's walks, shoot folly as It flits.'
sp#*"i ~ijsfej**^Ss
MR. MAN, LOOKING DOWN THE PAGB
The question with me is not so much "What'the Market
Affords" as "What I Can Afford."
ARRIVED in New Orleans on the night be
fore the beginning of the Mardi.Gras," said
a Washington man, "an went to the St.
St. Charles. I knew the head clerk well.
But when I got in I found there wasn't a
room to be had in the house.
1' In my disappointment I went out to the
bar to look for assuagement. Toward mid
night I tacked baek to the head clerk.
'Well, I'll tell you,' said the head
clerk, 'There's a room Oil the second floor
that's occupied by a pietty good sort Of a fellow. The room's
got two beds in it. I'll just take a chance on his getting
sore.'
"That looked all right to me, and up I went with the
bell-bop.
"When I got into the big second-floor room with the two
beds in it the other fellow had already turned in. I had
about $190, and I didn't calculate on giving anybody a
chance to shred me of my little Mardi Gras expense money
roll.
"The best looking place to make a plant seemed to me
to be under the Turkish rug. So I planted the little wad
there. Then I turned in and slept the sleep of the assuaged.'
"When I woke up at broad daylight the next morning I
remembered where I'd made the plant all right. The other
fellow was still
sound asleep. Found
the money under the
corner of the rug,
stuck it into my
trousers pocket
without looking at
it and went down
stairs to insert some
breakfast into my
system. Found the
head clerk before
the bar just about to
order his own morn
ing cocktail, and I
invited him to join
me. We stood and
chatted and then I
pulled out my x\vad
to pay.
I came near fall-
"turn
ing down.
The wad con
sisted of eight $1,-
000 bills!
I rubbed my
forehead in a feeble,
worried sort of way
that caused the
clerk to ask me
what ailed me.
"Oh, nothing,' I told him, 'onlysay, about how much
money did I have when I got that last drink with you last
night?'
'Well, I didn't count it,' replied the head clerk, but I
should say that you had something like a couple of hundred,
by the looks of your loll
'Uh-huh,' said I. 'Well, what the dickens, then, d'ye
suppose I'm doing with this bunch?' and I showed him the
wad of $&000 in $1,000 bills.
"The head elerk didn't have any time to fiame up a reply.
i'We heard a big uproar outside the cafe swinging door,
and then the swinging door burst open, and a man in a
marvelously unfinished state of dress slammed in. He, was
my room mate of the night before.
'Say, I've been frisked for my bundle!' the excited man
panted, as isoon as he caught sight of the head clerk chatting
with me. 'Get busy! Start something! There was $8,000 in
the wad. I planted it underneath the rug last night and
when I go to get it a minute ago I find this chickenfeed!'
and he pioduced my little bundle of $190 and flashed it on the
head clerk.'
"SAY, I'VE BEEN FRISKED FOB MY
BUNDLE"'
"By this time the head clerk was hanging on the bar with
both hands and laughing fit to dislocate his ribs. But the
man with the missing $8,000 roll couldn't see the humor of it.
After thg head clerk had allowed him to get good and cussy,
we both pjLjched in and explained the thing to him, and I
handed him his roll, while" he slipped me mine. I explained
how it happened.
"We had a drink over it, and it was all right."Wash
ington Star.
Russian soldiers still believe themselves superior to the
Japanese and ascribe their ill luck Manchuria to the fact
that their army was so largely composed of reservists, whose
officers were incompetent and insufficient in number,
GALES
I
I
A
AFTER
I
THE
OtlS JOUKJNAII
Curios and Oddities
TIs ttrmngsl"
NO GALES IN ROME.
are very rare in Rome, and never blow with ex
treme violence. The most* striking peculiarity of the
Roman climate is the absence of high winds. The air is pure
and clear, owing to the almost complete absence of smoke,
even in the winter months. The average yearly movement of
the air is only five miles an hour. This is of enormous ad-
vantage in winter, since the "tramontana" (north wind),
which is the prevailing wind iri this season, is, if strong, de-
cidedly cold and bracing, but'when under eight miles an hour
is delightful for most people, including invalids. The south
winds are essentially sea breezes. They frequently alternate
with the tramontana. The sirocco (southeast wind), which
fortunately does not often blow, is moist and enervating.
It gives rise to languor in most individuals.
LORD SALISBURY IN A HURRY.
IS said of the late Lord Salisbury that he once had to
dress at breakneck speed for a levee, and in the absence
of his valet plunged at a heap of things and threw them on
as they came. He appeared at court in the coat of the elder
brethren of Trinity house, the tiousers of a deputy lieutenant
and a hat of the royal archeis. Putting on the finishing
touches before the mirror, he hung his swoid upon the wrong
side and gartered, himself about the wrong knee. He had
assumed a waistcoat made in days when he was of less ample
girth, so that between the hem of this garment and the waist
of the trousers was a gap which all but himself observed.
HISTORY OP THE WORD "BUSHRANGER."
"OUSHRANGER" is a curious case of verbal degrada
tion. From an etymological point of view there is
no reason why bushranger should not be as respectable a
word as parkranger. In the early Australian newspapers
such advertisements as "Wanted, a good bushranger," were
quite common. The woid meant an expenenced bushman.
But when the bush became the refuge of robbers of banks,
mail coaches and lucky diggers, the word acquired the sinister
meaning that it now possessesbiigand, outlaw, desperado.
SPANIARDS LEAVING HOME.
ILLAGERS of Boada, in the province of Salamanca,
Spain, who number 1,146, have applied to the Argentine
republic to be allowed to emigrate to that country in a body.
They ask that their present social organization may be re-
tained, so that they may take with them in their present posi
tion their mayor, justice of the peace, priest, doctor, drug
gist, farmers, smiths, masons, carpenters, shoemakers and so
on. The present distressed condition of Spain is causing wide
spread emigration.
"WHITE RAINBOWS."
FINE rain and a strong sun are necessary for the for
mation of white rainbows. The phenomenon is due to
the optical principle known as interference. If the drops of
water be very small, the interference of the rays causes such
a complete overlapping of the colors that the bow appears
white. The various prismatic colors, instead of being thrown
out separately, as in the ordinary prism, ara thrown one on
top of the other, and the light is cast by the sun on a sheet
of rain. This result is still more noticeable where a fog
takes the place of the rain.
SAPjEST PLACE IN A TRAIN.
svgral years' experimenting, officers of the Penn
sylvahia railway have come to the conclusion that direct
ly behind a locomotive is a bad place for sleepers or any
other cais which are used by passengers. For this reason an
order has been issued that "in all instances a baggage car,
whether the car is needed for baggage purposes or not, must
be the first car of the t*ain." .This is the first official
acknowledgment from a railway company that the middle of
a train is the safest place to ride.
THE SMALL ONES GOT AWAY.
N HIS eye there was a gleam of triumph that was quite
as signal as unmistakable. His whole being seemed
surcharged with a divine ecstacy as he strode into the pres
ence of his wife.
"You talk about luck," he exclaimed "just look at
those late denizens of the finny deep. Just look at them,
Emma!''
After gazing,on them for a few moments she said:
I suppose they weigh about two pounds each, don't
they?"
I will be truthful with you, Emma*," he said, as he
patted the three fishes as he would have patted the necks
of so many hoises. I have had them weighed, and they
average only one pound and a quarter."
While his wife eyed him in eminently proper astonish
ment he continued, as he skipped a hornpipe around the
room:
"You just ought to have seen the three that got off my
hook you just ought to have seen them as their tails snapped
and flapped in the sea-sprayed air."
"Were they great big four-pounders?"
"Guess again, Emma."
"Were they six-pound whoppers, the kind that are so
often hooked and never landed?"
"You're wrong again, my dear you're wrong again.
Guess once more!"
"Didn't they weigh about eight or ten pounds apiece?"
"You are anything but a good fish guesser," replied her
exultant loid, as he swung the three specimens about in mad,
iridescent circles. "I'll tell you what it is, Emma, I may
not be much" of an adept when it comes to angling skill, but
when it comes to telling the straight piscene truth, I've got
old Isaac Walton skinned to death, like an eel. Those fish
that got off my hook were not whoppers at all. They were
not bigger than sardines. "^-Seattle Post-Intelligencer.
WHAT IS A MIRACLE?
lawyer asked the witness if the incident previously
alluded to wasn't a miracle, and the witness said he
didn't know what a miracle was.
"Oh, come!" said the attorney. "Supposing you were
looking out of a window in the top story of the Alaska build
ing, and should fall out and should not be injured. What
would you call that?"
"An accident," was the stolid reply.
"Yes, yes but what else would you call it? Well, sup
pose that you were doing the same thing the next day sup
pose you looked out of the highest window in the building
and fell out, and again should find yourself not injured
now what would you call that?"
A coincidence," said the witness.
"Oh, come, now," the lawyer began again. I want you
to understand what a miracle is, and I'm sure you do. Now
just suppose that on the third day you were looking out of
the highest window in that skyscraper and fell out, and struck
your head on the pavement fifteen stories below and were
not in the least injured. Come, now, what would you call
it
"Three times?" said the witness, rousing a little from his
apathy. '/Well, I'd call that a habit." A
And the lawyer gave it up.Seattle Post-Intelligencer.^1
fc^
A v*~.
First TarnierDid you
J1
heatr
GENTLE CURRENT
'MAKES HENS LAY'
Electric "Eggometer" Devised to
Make the Biddies Work
Overtime.
Journal Special Service.
Chicago, Van. 27.Farmers awd
chicken raisers for years have cogitated
ovei some means by which they could
induce the hen to lay every day during
the year. What they have tailed to
accomplish, an electrician of Pittsburg,
Pa., who is a guest at the Auditorium
hotel, claims to have invented. His
name is Harry Howse and he has en
titled his invention the eggometer.
Howse asserts that by the use
of his electrical nest instrument,
a hen can be forced to lay
an egg every day during the
year. Mr. Howse says there are more
than-1,000,000 hens the country and
when he gets his invention patented, he
can secure a royalty of 2 cents for
every chicken, on which the profit
making device is used.
He conceived the idea that the chief
reason foi the hen's inability to lay
more oftete was due to the fact that she
was not supplied with sufficient elec
trical nourishment to induce a vigor of
the tissues and functions that cause her
to deposit eggs. He experimented
largely and found that his device pro
duced the anticipated results.
JAP EMBASSY FOR EOME.
Tokio, Jan 27 It has been^lecided to raise
the Japanese legation at Rome to tbe rank of
embassy anfl it Is understood that Uchida,
the Japanese minister at Peking, will be ap
pointed ambassador to Italj
that lellow pray for Senate
Secon FarmerH didn' pray for the Senate.the looked at them and
prayed for us.
A Sip of Coffee Comfort
If you feel that you cannot or perhaps, let us put it, that
you should not drink coffee, here is a fact that will please
you. It is called a fact because it can be proven to-your full
satisfaction, that Barrington Hall is a boon to all coffee*
lovers who feel just as you do.
is name of the coffee
has
BaningtoiCHall*Sthve
v^
J. 6. RICKEL,
City Ticket Agent.'
424 Nicollet Avenue,
MINNEAPOLIS, MINN.
OFFERS $15*13 FOR
$3,000 PREMIUMS
Life Insurance Company Is Sued
for More Money by Age
Policyholder.
Journal Special Service.
New York, Jan. 27.John J. Gordon,
a lawyer, has received a remarkable
complaint against the Mutual Reserve
Life Insurance company, from John
Williams, who has been paying prem
iums to the company for twenty-two
years. Mr. Williams is 78 years old.
He was a carpenter, but lost his arm six
years ago by an operation. Since then
ne has been living on- his savings, which
are now about exhausted.
In 1884 Mr. Williams took out a poli
cy the Mutual Keserve for $2,000. He
has now paid in premiums $3,000. To
keep up these premiums he and his wife
bad to make endless sacrifices. Re
cently he became unable to continue
them and went to the compatfy to sur
render the policy for a cash payment.
The sum the company offered for his
$3,000 was exactly $15.13. Williams
thought .he was entitled to more money
and instituted proceedings against the
company.
SOLDIER MYSTERIOUSLY KISSING.
Pittsburg. Jan 27 Private John Dowd of
Company A Ninth United States infantry, who
shot and killed William Crowley while the
latter was stealing copper from the arsenal
roof, has been mysteriously missing since last
Thursday. He had been released from custody
on bail The diers at the arsenal say they
believe Dowd was a victim of revenge, as Crow
ley's friends had threatened him with bodily
harm
Leave this city any Thursday Evening
Arrive in
HAVANA
the following Monday Morning
CUBAybalm,romanticni
Via MOBILE
36 hours on summer seas on the superb
express steamship, "PRINCE GEORGE."
Munson Steamship Line
1
the tannln-beart-dusl(nai sku
10 ^ViSi?* ZJTHTPIPL removed by a process
which for brevity is called
"steel-cut""Barrington Hall, the steel-cut coffee,** is the way
people have come to know it.
There is a reasonwhich will appeal to your judgment as
the coffee will appeal to your most particular taste. The re-
moval of the tannin is only one feature you can judge for
youiself when you note the minute granules of uniform size
as you examine it dry.
Quality? Well we will leave that to people who are par
ticularthe more finicky about their coffee the better.
Roasted, steel-cut, packed by machinery in sealed tins, and
guaranteed by Baker & Co., Importers, Minneapolis.
For sale by the better class of grocers at 35c per peund.^
A. L. ULANO, G. P. A.,
82 Beaver Street, New York.
Apply to nearest Railroad Ticket Agent.
CHEAP
RATES TO
CUBA,
HOT SPRINGS,
CALIFORNIA,
FLORIDA
m-,sm~?^
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