The Minneapolis journal. [volume], February 06, 1906, Page 16, Image 16

About The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939

Image provided by: Minnesota Historical Society; Saint Paul, MN

                
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With the Long Bow
Terrible Drought in the Southwest This Spring Foreseen in
Two Dreams by Benjamin Mason, the Colored Seer, Who
Has a Line Out on the Weather for Months Ahead-
Why Foster and the United States Are Unreliable on
Weather.
I
pNlD you hear about that terrible drought in the south
JL/ west next spring? Guthrie, Ok., has a negro seer
named Benjamin Mason, -who foresees the future *fh a re-
markable manner. If his foresight is all right, a crowd of
Oklahomans holler and marvel about it, but if he misses,
everybody seems to have forgotten it. As Mason has made
some lucky hits, his fame has become well established.
Mason bases his belief in the drought on a dream two
weeks ago, in which he saw a line of soldiers who vanished
when he looked at them a second time. A line of vanishing
soldiers is a sure sign of drought to Mason. In another
dream which he had last Friday night, Mason was traveling
and passed one large pool of water. Later he came to an-
other pool, where he stopped to drink. Here was a tree load
ed with blossoms on the right of a line of leafless and lifeless
trees. This was another sign of sure drought soon.
Mason claims to be "terrible good on weather." He
takes no more stock in the government weather bureau than
the president of Honduras does in a rotten banana. He
says the government simply sights the weather already
made, notes in what direction it is traveling and then tele
graphs ahead. Any chump could do this.
Mason claims he foresees weather long before it is made
fend depends neither on climate nor planets.
He thinks that Foster is pretty fair, but he says Foster
gets his line of weather from the planets and not from open
vision. The planets, being material, are likely to have cross
currents of weather set up by the fixed stars' perturbations,
and are to this degree unreliable. The only sure way of
getting the weather ahead is to dream it.
Of course, knowing the weather far ahead, Mason fixes
the markets ahead too. He has seen that the May option
in wheat in Kansas City, for instance, will go out "well
over a dollar." Later on, he says, the price will climb like
a young farmer going up a telegraph pole ahead of a loose
bull. From this vision he concludes that the drought will
extend to the northwest, tho he has not seen this in open
vision yet.
Cut this prediction out and paste it up somewhere.
The man who gets out at ,2 a.m. to launder his furnace
feels about as cheerful as an agnostic ai a Christian En-
deavor convention.
The tailless cat of Japan is exciting some interest in
Eoological circles. A cat with two tails and one less head
Would fill a long-felt want in our back yard at eventide.
Professor Wiley, chief of the poor food bureau of the
'department of agriculture, has discovered an adulterated
lamb chop. The bone seemed to be lamb, but the meat neat
ly attached to it was from some other critter not so rare as
Mary's little friend. The peop^ who committed this crime
should be slapped with their own meat-ax.
One of the meanest crimes on the calendar, ranking well
up with horse theft, has occurred at Norwich, N. D. Some
one raided the coalbin of the editor of the Norwich Item.
A man who steals your purse may get trash, but the coal
kleptomaniac steals that which not only enriches him, but
leaves the other man poor indeed.
The possibilities of the language in the way of condensed
brevity are shown by the always up-to-date editor of the
"Kernels," in the Fargo Forum, who chronicles the violence
used towards the person of Mr. Anderson by an immigrant
from China. The "Kernels" tersely states:
"Andy Anderson was carved at Bismarck by a chink."
While telling the whole story, it also recalls the delightful
toonologs of Mr. JT.'s aunt.
The hated rival of the Wayback Press refers to the
honest workers on that great weekly as the Waybacteria.
C. E. Boyden of the Lisbon (N. D.) Free Press gets out
an edition of "Fads and Fancies" every week. Tho it is a
fine thing, it does not bring in the government lithographs
as freely as Colonel Mann's single edition did.
The Bathgate (N. D.) Pink Paper tells of the joyous
Winter adventure of a sleighload of young people who went
to Gretna to attend the ice rink on Monday night of last
week. While happily holding hands on the way home they
ran head-on into one of the whizziest kinds of blizzards that
ever crossed the Canadian line. In {he midst of the storm
they came upon a building which Jhey recognized as the
Brown schoolkouse, and, thinking they had their bearings
sufficiently to make town, drove* about for a considerable
time when they ran up against a building which, much to
iheir consternation, pioved to be the same schoolhouse.
Further attempts to reach home that night were abandoned,
and the party was made as comfortable as possible with
robes and wraps until morning came, when they had no
trouble in finding their way to town. It is a glorious story
to tell the children when the paity are grandpas and grand
mas.
This mjstery about Mr. Rockefeller's aged father being
a visitor at the Pocantico palace seems to be capable of easy
Solution. Why not send a boy to the house to ring the front
doorbell and say to Mrs. Rockefeller:
"Mother wants to know if Mr. Rockefeller's father is
visiting you this winter."
Then, of course, it would all come out. A. J. R.
What the Market Affords
APIOCA, 5 cents a pound.
Irish moss, 30 cents a pound.
Dried Lima beans, 10 cents a pound.
Oatmeal, 10 cents a package.
Apples, 40 and~0 cents a peck.
Orange marmalade, 25 cents a jar.
Tapioca is to be had in three grains of varying size
called flake, pearl and farina, the latter being the finest, and,*
because it cooks most quickly, the favorite. It may be/boiled
in either milk, water or fruit juice, about one tablespoonful
Of tapioca being used for each half-pint of liquid. At this
season of the year it may be used to advantage by taking
equal quantities of water and the syrup from canned fruit,
cooking until the grains are clean* and soft, then adding the
fruit, turning into a serving dish, chilling and serving with
cream, plain or whipped.
f-'To make a delicious apple dessert, arrange in a deep
earthen baking dish, suitable for serving, as many apples,
cored and pared, as it will hold. Fill the core cavities with
a mixture of equal parts of boiled chestnuts, stoned dates,
eeded raisins and English walnuts, all chopped fine and
Tuesday Evening,
"Eye Baton** walks, Mhoot folly aa it fibs."
4 S
S
man/
lXlJCi lVJJ
f%&7l
FLOWERS OF THE FLOUR OITY.\
(Coldwavica Freezthickum.)
The Ice ManOh, I guess it's going to bloom all right yet!
moistened with lemon juice sweetened to taste. Melt sugar
and butter in hot water in the proportion of one tablespoon
ful of sugar and one-half teaspoonful of butter for each
apple, and one cup of hot water for five apples. Pour this
over the apples and baste frequently, adding more water if
needed. There should be just a little rich, thick syrup at
the last. Serve hot with thin cream or cold with whipped
cream.
Marshall P. Wilder
and England
MARSHALtrips.
WILDER tells the following tale of one
of his to England:
"One day at the races, the Prince of Wales was ob-
served to laugh very heartily at something. 'Your royal
highness has won?' asked a well-known baronet. 'No, in-
deed,' replied the prince, *I am not betting today. I was
laughing at an anecdote told by that funny little Wilder
last Sunday.* The humorist has been wondering ever since
if the prince meant any insinuation on the length of time
it requires for one to grasp the point of Wilder's stories.1"
In his book, "People I've Smiled With," Wilder tells
this one:
"One night I went to Mr. Irving's theater, atfd the
prince was in one of the boxes. Those acquainted with Mr.
Irving's theater know that there is a room off one end of
the boxes, where the prince generally goes to take refresh
ments. As passed, the prince happened to see me and
called out:
'Aha, little chap, back again!'
'Yes, your highness,' I said. As I walked upstairs he
noticed I was lame, so he leaned down and helped me up
the steps. Then he shook my hands and turned to Mr. Ash
ton of Mitchell's and said: 'You must always be kind to
this little chap.' It's no wonder the English people are very
fond of him, but I'll double discount any of them at that
business. I've good reason to."
While in England Wilder came upon a curious case of
husbandly devotion. He-'had- heard that the wife of a cer-
tain laborer was not all she should be, to say the least, and
that the daily wages her husband earned by the^, sweat of his
brow were spent by her for liquor rather than household
necessities. Moved with pity for the poor fellow, who never
complained of his wrongs, Wilder put a few odd jobs his
way which paid the man well, and he also livened up his dull
hours with many a funny yarn. One day they happened to
be talking of domestic quarrels, and then the poor fellow
spoke of his own trouble for the first time. "Mr. Wilder,"
he said, "some say as how my wife doesn't do exactly light,
but I knows of only one fault that she has. She swears
when she's drunk."
A London cabman, according to Mr. Wilder, is about
the most sarcastic individual in the world. During a recent
stay on the other side, Wilder hailed a cab'which happened
to be drawn by a very emaciated horse. While he was seat
ing himself in the vehicle another cab drove by, and the
driver yelled: I soy, Bill, I see yer goin' to 'ave a new
'orse." "Who told you so?" growled Wilder's cabman.
"Why, I see you got the framework there," came the un-
expected reply.
Upon another 'occasion the retort came from one of the
younger cab gentry, and the victim was an old master of
whip and rein, who boasted that he knew every foot of Lon
don, and declared that tfib he had been in many tight cor-
ners, he had never failed to drive his nag put smoothly.
One day, however, he lost control of his horse for a moment
and ran full tilt into a young cabby's outfit. The latter
promptly inquired with biting sarcasm: "Well, an' 'aow do
YOU like London?"
APPEARING GREEN.
ENATOR BEVERIDGE was talking one afternoon in
^Washington to a group of newly-elected congressmen.
"Yon boys," he said, "must on no account appear green.
Keep cool, go slow, think before you speak then you won't
give yourselves away." V,** U*
x-
The unripe congressmen laughed, and Senator Beveridge
continued: *-'b/L*--*
.r1
I should hate to hear that one of you, had acted as a
new southern congressman once did. ^T'^
"He, as soon as he reached Washington, went off "to a
photographer's to be photographed.
I want my likeness taken,' he said^Tfij^i%/-
Cabinet?' the photographer asked.
|t'The southerner Teddened and lookedspleased.
#6*3"'No he answered 'just a plain, everyday utongiess-
toothers $s well as
myself
1
kjv W
'^E
*r%i
W-H&-
*#8&5*&
Why Clark Stopped Drinking
r/
and I cursed
GLASS of lithia for me, please," said
Clark..V^y* 4*' /4t Hffi
"What!" exclaimed his two com
panions,
all mahogany ^nd all
mixers and all friends. And then I did the usual brilliant
thing. The idea occurred to me that what I needed was One
more drinkjust to steady me. I got out of the cab and
had two. They seemed to help a great deal.
'Now watch yourself, old man!' said I as I stepped into
the hallway of the young woman's home. It was a ticklish
job, I knew, to pilot that jag thru the devious social chan
nels of an event like that, but I was delighted to find that I
was getting on famously. I knew I was drunk, you see, but
when I had greeted the girl, her mother and father and some
more, and none of them seemed to notice anything unusual
in my demeanor, I patted myself on the back and brightened
up considerably. It wasn't long before I was surprised at
myself. Never knew till "then what a brilliant talker I was
quite a social success. I'd been hiding my light under a
bushel. Hereafter I'd go in for society a great deal more
than I had. It was much more delightful than I'd ever sup
posed.
"All the while I was a trifle amazed at the number of
people' there were in the drawing room. I'd had no idea the
girl was so popular. She seemed to be the center of a large
and charming circle. I met so many people that I began to
get confused and couldn't catch their names. It seemed
to me I had never made so many bows and spoken so many
formal greetings in all my life. Then some punch was
brought in, and I hit it gently several times, but it didn't
have just the right effect on me. I began to suspect that I
was jagged for fair, and when
*J fr
I said lithia, didn't I?"" Clark
retorted. I mean lithia."
"Why, it isn't New Year's yet, old
man," said one of his friends in a
reproachful tone.
]\x *'I know it. Ne Year, old year-
all the same to me from now on. Pretty good lithia, this.
Is it a blend, orOh, there, I was thinking of whisky again.
It's a bit hard at firsty but
There was a world of something in that "but," and the
two-others put up a clamor for the story. Clark ordered
more lithia and then explained.
A girl I knowa mighty nice girl living on the upper
West Sidesailed for Bermuda the other day with her
mother, whose health is not good. I'd been paying some
slight and friendly attentions to the girl, and was to go up
there last Thursday -night to say farewell. That afternoon
I left the office rather earlier than usual, intending to go
straight to my rooms and cultivate a calm and a quiet for
the delicate social occasion. But who should I meet on the
elevated but my old friend Jenkens, who had just returned
from the far west. I hadn't seen him for a year, and be-
fore I realized what was happening we were keeping a lively
bartender busy.
"Jenkens is a royal fellow, with a Rocky mountain thirst
that nothing in Manhattan ever seemed to satisfy. I'm go-
ing out there some day just to find out what the stuff is they
drink. Jenkens wanted to relax, and the way the relaxer
came across that bar ought to be incorporated in the next
publication of vital statistics. I never did like to be a
quitter, and, besides, Jenkens was telling some excellent new
stories, and so it was along toward 7 o'clock before I was
able to disconnect. I made Jenkens promise to meet me
the" next day, and then hurried off to my room to dress.
"It was perfectly plain to me that I'd drunk much more
than I should have, but the contact with the cold night air
toned me up, and I dressed in so great a hurry that I didn't
give my equilibrium any severe test. Presently I got into a
cab and started for
the home of the
young woman. It
was then, riding up
Broadway in the
hansom, that I be
came fully aware I
had been hypnotized
by Jenkens. The in
terior formation of
the cab, the lights on
Broadway and vari
ous landmarks went
thru ceitain illegal
transformations
which I recognized
without difficulty,
and which I guess I
need not describe to
you two capable vats.
I was troubled I
feared my condition
would be apparent
"X WAS A THIFLE AMAgTED AT
NUMBER OF PEOPLE."
THE
I saw some more familiar
signs I just duckedall very politely and gracefully, of
course.
'Well,' said I to myself, when I got out into the night
air again, 'you got out of that very nicelyindeed, I may
say, with distinction. For carrying a jag, old man, you're a
wonder.'
"'When I woke the next morning it was with an instant
and horrifying realization of the real situation. I'd unques
tionably made a great fool of myself, not only before a
houseful of people, but before the girl I thought a great deal
of. The whole "array of my asininities passed before me in
review, and I lay there and groaned. What was to be done?
I remembered then that there was yet time to see the girl
before she sailed, and try to square myself with her* But
the first view of my face in the mirror put that project out
of my head. I rang for a cocktail, and when my hand was
steady enough I wrote a letter to her, asking her to forgive
me, to apologize to her father and mother, and to send me
the names of all these guestsa hundred and fifty at least
that I might write my apologies to them. Then I spent a
horrible morning waiting for her reply, which I wasn't at
all sure I'd get."
Clark sipped his lithia, and a faraway look came into his
eyes.
"Well?" said one of the others.
I got the letter at noon. It went like this:
'Dear GeorgeIt's all right. Don't worry. There
was nobody present but mother and father, my brother apd
myself. Grace.'
"Now, isn't that girl a brick? I'm going to Bermuda
next week to ask her to marry me. What'11 I have? Why,
litHia^~e? course."New York Press.
"V.'-A
LINES.
RAZIL supplies half the world's coffee.
The frigate bird flies. 300 miles an hour.
In 1606 to be absent from church meant a shilling fine.
Japanese coral costs twenty times as much as the Italian
.The average Stature of mankind increases one inch each
l,000~years. ^*?T*^*
In^durt drear the Sultan of Joh^Mtri" diamonds
wor&i .112,000,000.
Cleaning-lip Sal
JOHN? O O CHURCH:
Gamossie
WARM GLOVES, MITTENS
25c to 60c Quality 1 C,J
Wool Gloves, pair.
Boys' Fur Back Gloves 9Q.
aad Mittens, pair.
Men's Moleskin work- Q
ina* mittens 35c kind
Fur Lined Gloves and Mit
tens at less than cost.
610 Nicollet.
INSOMNIA DEATH
TO THE CHICKENS
Glow from Converters Makes Day
of Night and McKeesport Poul
try Wffl Not Sleep.
Pittsburg, Pa..Feb. 6.An epidemic
of insomnia is killing off the chickens
of McKeesport.
This is rather an unusual, disease to
affict the feathered tribe, but it is the
truth. At least, McKeesporters vouch
for the story, and MeKeesporters are a
truthful lot. The footprints of George
Washington were left in the sands of
the Youghioghenyand George couldn 't
tell a falsehood. And McKeesport is
following his pious example.
No self-respecting chicken will stay
off the roost after the sun goes down,
and on the other hand will linger his
sleeping quarters after the sun rises.
Now, it happens that in the tube city
are numerous new converters, and the
light from these when in blast is al
most as brilliant as the glow of the sun
at noon.
When the light from these burns in
the heavens it rivals the glint of the
northern lights. In fact, the skips look
as if they were illumined by thf rosy
tints of dawn. This is the source of
all the trouble. The roosters have
opened their weather eves, and, catch
ing sight of this strange light, thought
it was the break of day. Instantly
they responded to the inspiration to
crow for the dawn. The hens were
awakened* and answering calls came
from every chicken house in. town. Then
the chickens would leap lown from
their perches and wander around all
night.
They were too
self-respectinge
mit after da3r
Journal Special Service,
is*
NOT YEr&^^m"^
to
adt light really cam tha
thev had been out all night. Conse
quently they suffered untold miserv.
The next night they were fooled again
bv the light from the mills and re
mained up again, and on the next morn
ing, of course, they had no recourse to
a soothing cocktail or stimulating high
ball. So the next night again the
lights gleamed from the furnaces and
again t^e hens and roosters remained
wide-awake, and the next nightthen
insomnia struck them and they died.
This is the story.
ROOSEYELT IGNORES
BOOKER T. WASHINGTON
Washington, Feb. 6.Booker T.
Washington, the negro educator, has
received a severe setback at the hands
of President Roosevelt by the appoint
ment of William T. Vernon of Kansas,
to be registrar of the treasury, as suc
cessor to Judson W. Lyous of Georgia.
Mr. Washington vigorously opposed
the selection of Vernon because he rep
resents the .faction of negroes who an
tagonized the educator'^ views. It is
the precept of^JMr. Washington that the
negroes should work and attend to
business affairs, eschewing polities and
not seeking to receive recognition of
social equality from the white man.
Mr* Vernon is the exponent of the doc
trine that the negro should participate
in polities aad perform all the duties
of a citizen.
Columbus, Ohio.
^iTake the Erie Railroad. Popular
Route. Short Line from Chicago. Two
through trains daily. Apply to any
ticket agent or E. R. Porch^ Trav. PaBS.
Agent, St. Paul, Minn.
aa^gMaaMft^atf^j^
4 HOW'M* iCiOlfA
h" OUT O-THIS?/
-H! AN \vih\y
Underwear Sale
FOR MEN
Entire stock of High Grade Gar
ments, two-piece or union suits
$1.00 quality 75c
1.50 quality $1.15
2.00 quality 1.40
2.50 quality 1.75
3.00 quality .25
3.50 quality 2.75
4.00 quality 3.Q0
4.50 quality 3.5O
5.00 quality 3.75
Any Cap in the house, $1.50 and
.50 quality, now $1.00
A good line of $1.00 caps, now 5Q
W.Y.WHIPPLE
426 Nicollet Av.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^s^MWV*
A....
I Pretty REGINA
Wit
L:.D:.$15.65tcen,tunes21h
Minnesota Regiu Co.
329 Hennepin Av.
May Flower
MandolinsandGuitars
ABE THE BEST ON EABTH.
Catalogue for the asking.
Expert repairing.
41-43 8.1th St.
%w
1
RHEUMATIC PAINS
THEY INVARIABLY YIELD TO DR.
WILLIAMS' PINK PILLS
Because the Poisoned Blood is Mad*
Pure and Inflamed Tissues
Are Healed.
When, in cold or wet weather, tha
rheumatic patient feels twinges of pain
in the joints and muscles it is natural
to think that the trouble is local and
that it is caused by the chill or the damp.
The trntli is that rheumatism is a disease
of the blood, caused by the failure of the
body to cast off certain poisons. It is
hereditary and often runs in several
generations of one family. Cold, damp
ness and certain localities do promote
the development of the disease, but the
root of the trouble is always in the blood.
With this in mind, it will be readily
seen how useless it is to try to cure
iheumatism by nibbing liniments on
the skin. External applications are of
use in securing temporary relief from
painthe cure for rheumatism lies in
purifying and enriching the blood.
Mrs. Frederick Brown, of 40 Sumpter
3treet, Sandy Hill, N. Y., was a sufferer
from inflammatory rheumatism from
the time she was sixteen. She says:
It first appeared in my knee joints,
then my hips and waist. It became
a regular thiug that I would be laid up
all winter. The rheumatism affected
mostly my hands, hips, feet and
shoulders. My hands were all puffed
np and my feet became deformed I
lost my appetite, couldn't sleep and
sometimes I was compelled to cry out,
the pain was so intense.
For several winters I was under the
doctor's caie and while his medicine re
lieved the pain for a little while there
seemed no prospect for a permanent
cure. I was confined to my bed, off and
on, for weeks at a time. My limbs
swelled dreadfully at times and I was
reduced almost to nothing.
Iu the spring of 1904, upon the ad
vice of a friend, I began to use Dr,
Wilhams' Pink Pills. At that time I
wasn't able to do anything and could
barely eaUeuough to keep alive. I felt
a change for the better about a month.
I began to eat heartily and I suffered
less pain. Of course I kept on the
treatment, using care in my diet, and
about three months I was cured. I
am entirely well today and do all my
own woik
Dr. Williams' Pink Pills cured Mrs.
Brown by driving the rheumatic poisons
out of her blood. But you must get the
genuine Dr. Williams' Pink Pills, sold
bv all druggists or by the Dr Williams
Medicine Co Schenectady, N. Y-
If You Don't
I believe in a thing hard
enough to do itin the mat
ter of want advertising, for
exampleyou ^stand, practi
cally, with those who don't
believe in it at all^jy^af*:
rfiiMSiM it'cnir imrfia.1 rjirtmrm nl'uhir.rin'u -****-r*itri M^fflEF''
i