Newspaper Page Text
14 A |T lr THE 5 ii "I'll get you the change in a minute," cried the boy, and raced back to a man who sat in front of the booth. "Beastly nuisance, this. Simply disgust ing I'' muttered the old gentleman, now thoro ly out of temper. He fumed as he watched the boy get change from the man, who counted out the pennies in a peculiarly automatic manner. "Where's the old woman who sold papers here?" he demanded from the boy, in the voice of one who has been subjected to a great injury. "She's me aunt, sir, but she's dead. Got run over by a car. Me dad, he's going to sell the papers here," continued the boy, adding, "He's blind. Here's your change, sir." "Hang the pennies. I hate 'em!" growled the old man, and. without taking his change, climbed the stairs. Next morning the old gentleman again offered a nickel. Then, declaring hotly that he couldn't wait all morning for his change, he ascended to the station without it. Then the boy got wise. Next morning he greeted the old gent with a smile and, while handing him the paper, also offered four pennies in change. The old gentleman glared at the coins. "Hate penniescopperfull of microbesdon't want 'em!" he snapped out. Then they understood one another. To one of the boy's customers, at least, his morning paper WHALER was talking about Walter Wellman's balloon dash to the pole. "Wellman made," he said, "an aluminum dash for the pole ten years ago. He had aluminum boat-sleds, drawn by dogs, that were boats in the water and sledges on the land. They failed, tho, to work well in the White North. "Wellman brought back with him a suit of Eskimo clothes. They were queer garments. There was an ahtee, a neteheh, nanookies, and kamiks. "The ahtee is a shirt of birds' skins. Sometimes the feathers are left on the ahtee, and worn next the skin, but usually, Wellman says, they are removed. Sometimes the ahtee is made of fishskin. "Over the ahtee is drawn the neteheh, a loose shirt of sealskin, worn with the fur side out. The neteheh, like a football jacket, is cut short at the hips, and pointed back and front. A sealskin hood is fastenec* to it, the alchia. The trousers, of sealskin, are short. They come to, just below the knee. They are called nanookies. "Into boots of tanned sealskin, kamiks, the trousers are fucked. "Men and women alike wear this same simple, warm ftress of ahtee, neteheh, alchia, nanookies and kamiks." THE FALLEN IDOL. 6~VELL your master," he said, "that a friend wishes to 1 see him." But the English butler looked doubtful. A friend? My master?" he stammered. "You must have mistaken the house, sir. This is the residence of Sena tor Depot." A LITTLE RELIEF. proprietor looked sympathetically at the pale, drawn features of his bookkeeper. "Baby cry as much as ever, Mr. Penn?" he asked. The young man blinked his red-rimmed, haggard eyes, "Not quite, sir," he answered cheerily. "These Feb ruary nights are getting a little shorter now." STRIKING. GAD," said young Tete de Veau, a new idea, by gad!" "Wh at ls'ttj"clear boy?" asked L'Oignon. "New idea in mourning," said Tete de Veau./ "You /know, my uncle's dead. I'll spring the idea tomorrow. i$i Little band of crepe around my cigarets." iwMSilil Monday Uvening', N ONE of the fashionable hotels on the upper West Side lives on old gentle man, who, who, in spite of his advanced age, still "goes to business" every morning. His two sons are married, one of them living in the family resi dence. The father, a widower, prefers to live in the hotel instead of the big mansion. The two sons are the real managers of the old gentleman's gigan tic business, but, having made his downtown trip for so many years, it has become a habit with him and he keeps it up with scrupulous regularity. As most old gentle men of the old school are, he is a veritable model of punctual ity, and arrives every morning at the foot of the "L" road stans at the exact minute. Until a few months ago an old woman who had a news stand at the "L" road stairs could always tell when it was 9 o'clock by the arrival of the "old gent," who always got his paper from her. Every morningexcepting Sundays he would appear at the stroke of 9, get his paper, hand over his penny and ascend the stairs. These two people did busi ness for years, but never a word passed between them. One morning recently the old gentleman came along, punctual as everand missed the newspaper woman. "Awfully annoying," he growled, and, thrown out of his routine, looked about him with almost helpless expres sion. "Poipers, sir, poipers?" shouted a boy, coming from the little booth and shoving a paper under the old gentleman's nose. ''Oh, I suppose yes, wellyou might give me a paper," grumbled the old man petulantly. The break in his routine so upset him that the ever ready penny hid itself away in the corner of some pocket. Still grum bling, he drew forth a nickel. I'RAH* "WHERE'S THE OLD WOMAN WHO SOLD PAPERS HERE!" was worth 5 cents. When the holidays came the boy received the one great shock of his life. He greeted his old patron with a cheery "Merry Christmas, sir." The old gentleman growled an inaudible reply and offered a bill in payment for his paper. While the boy was getting change from his father the old gentleman, who was already half way up the stairs, leaned over the railing and, shaking his cane, almost screamed: "Confound you! Do you suppose I can stay there all day waiting for my change? You young idiot The same scene took place just before New Tear's day, and the farce of the nickel has been continued ever since. Neither of the two knows any more about the other than they did at first, but neither caresfor they are satisfied to play their parts.New York Press. BIRDSKIN AND FISHSKIN CLOTHES. Ramsey CountyAh, go on! of Paul's jokes. CODFISHd 15 cents a package. FREDnSTERRY A. A Yon know that's only one Pickle herring, 25 cents a pound. Celery, California, 10 cents a stalk small stalks, 18 cents a half-dozen. Strictly fresh eggs, 16 cents a dozen storage eggs, 12 cents a dozen. Hominy, 5 cents a pound. Carrots, new, 10 cents a bunch old, 15 cents a peck. Maple syrup, $1.75 a gallon. Codfish a la Creole is a palatable luncheon dish, and either fresh or salt fish may be used. If salt fish is to be used, wash and soak over night. When ready to serve, cook one onion in two tablespoonfuls of butter slowly on the back of the stove until it is soft, not brown. Add one pound of boneless cod fish and one-half cup of rice, which has been previously boiled for twenty minutes. Pour over this one-half can of strained tomatoes, cover the saucepan and cook slowly twenty minutes. Season with salt and pepper. Dish the codfish first, heaping the rice upon it and pouring over all the sauce. A bunch of celery has usually some pieces that are not quite tender enough for a relish, and they may be cooked in any number of ways. To escallop celery, use the outside pieces cut into one-inch lengths. Simmer gently for thirty minutes and drain off, saving the water. Make a drawn but- ter sauce, using the water in which the celery was boiled and seasoning it well with salt and pepper. Put the celery in a baking-dish, turn the sauce over it, and dredge plenti fully with crumbs and bits of butter creamed. Bake and when done lay on diamonds of buttered toast. A CHEERY SPIRIT. HE late C. A. Bradenburgh of Philadelphia was Well known among showmen. The dime museum that he concluded was one of the largest and oldest in the country. Mr. Bradenburgh spent his summers at Lake Sunapee, in New Hampshire. He had a large and costly cottage on an island, and his yacht, the Barbara B., was till 1904 the fast est on Ihe lake. In the 1904 races the Barbara B. was beaten by a motor boat, and the championship pennant that she had carried for years was taken from her. Mr. Bradenburgh's remark, as he surrendered the pen nant to the pulsating, thundering motor-boat with its en- gines taken from a powerful automobile, typified the man's hopeful and cheery nature. "It it a bad defeat," he said, "bu it might be worse. "It reminds me of a young lady. 'What a sad thing it must be,' she said, 'to be disap pointed in love.' 'Yes,' said a married woman, 'but it must be infinitely worse to be disappointed in marriage.' DISLIKED HAGGLERS. of the Palm Beach Power Boat associa tio was talking about the high prices that motor-boats and automobiles bring. "For my part," he said, I don't objeet to-these high prices. The workman is worthy of his hire. Fine things, rare things, would not be fine and rare if they were cheap. I think the laborer is worthy of his hire, and I incline to sympathize with a grocer's clerk whom I once knew in the west. "This young man had a very unbusinesslike scorn for hagglers and bargainers. One day a woman entered the grocery and said: 'What is the price of your cheapest butter?' 'Eighteen cents a pound, ma'am,' said the young man. 'Oh, that's certainly too dear,' said the woman. 'Haven't you anything cheaper?' 'Well,' said the young man, 'we have some soft soap at 6 cents a pound.' A QUICKER WAY. J. CASSATT, the president of the Pennsylvania rail road, said at his New Year's reception, anent an in- experienced workman: "That reminds me of a western lad. He got a place on a railroad, became a brakeman, then a fireman, and on day, in an emergency, he undertook to run a locomotive. "He ran the locomotive well enough, but he could not stop with the necessary precision, for this needs practice. "With one station in particular he had trouble. He ran some thirty yards beyond this station, and then, putting back, he ran as far the other way. He was preparing for a third attempt when the station agent put his head out of the win dow and shouted: *i 'Stay where you are, Jim. We'll shift the station.' BIBLE AGAINST TATTOOING.* A MARINERS' bethel a missionary attacked tattoo ing. *r "You sailors disgust me," he said, "with your ships and ladies and anchors and flags tattooed all over your arms and hands and breasts. It is not only silly to tattoo. It is posi tively -wicked and impious "Avast there, sky pilot," said an aged shellback. "Y can't prove them words by the Log o' Grace." "But I can, tho," said the missionary, quick as a flashy and he read from Leviticus xix, 28: 'Ye shall not make any cuttings in youi'^fles^}f$r the dead, nor print any marks upon you.' *--&*- THE MINNEAPOLIS JOURNAL. S?4 THE 1 1 ,r r[ h' I Curios and Oddities 1 "'TiM PaMMlng Straawl WOMEN AND PAINA MAN'S THEORY. man, when his tooth was pulled, yelled hoarsely. The next patient, a woman, bore the ain of three extrac tions with silent fortitude. *"Yes," said the dentist, "women endure the pangs of tooth-pulling better than men, but they deserve no praise on this account. They feel the pain less, i /'Experiments have frequently been made," he went on, "to test the aouteness of the masculine and feminine senses. The last experiments were made in this town, and they were interesting and conclusive. "First, taste was tried. The male subjects could detect in water the presence of the sixtieth part of a grain of gall. The women couldn't distinguish the gall in a smaller quantity than the twentieth of a grain. The men's taste was three times keener than the women's. "Next, smell. The men smelt the presence of the hun dredth part of a grain of prussic acid. The women were unconscious of the acid till a quantity five times greater was set before them. In smell the men were five times the women's superiors. "Men heard a watch ticking at a distance of ten yards wdmen could only hear it at a distance of two yards. The males, again, you see, Were five times the better. "It was the same thirig with sight and with touch. The men saw five times better. They felt five times more keenly and delicately. These' experiments explain away the apparent anomaly of woman's wondrous fortitude to pain. Woman's senses being less acute, she is less affected by pain than man." STOLE RIVERS AND CEMETERIES. """PHE theft of the ashes of Columbus was attempted in 1 Chicago during the world's fair/' said Lecoq, the detective. "Thanks to a friend of mine, the attempt failed. Stranger attempts have succeeded, tho. cv^The theft of a lighted stove constituted my first case. A man, having deserted his wife, returned home half-drunk, and in the good woman's absence put the stove on a push cart and started off with it. He had set up, it seems, an establishment of his own further down the street. "Two villains once stole a Wisconsin cemetery. First they looted the graves, selling the skeletons to anatomists. Then they stole the tombstones, getting, naturally, a good price for the granite and marble. The place wasn't a ceme tery by the time the theft was discovered. It was only a torn-up field. "Men have stolen rivers often. To irrigate their land, they change a stream's course. They dig a channel thru their own property, and the river, leaving its natural bed, follows this channel. It is stolena stolen riverand bit- terly does such a theft enrage the man who suffers from it." LUNG BATHS-TRY THEM. /"\[J lungs, quite as well as our bodies, need baths," V-^ said a physician. "Especially do they need a bath after we have sat for three or four hours in the impure and stale air of a theater or a church. Then, jf we could see them, our lungs would look as unsightly as the face of a coal-heaver looks after a hard day's work. "They need a bath, but not a water one. Air, pure air, is the cleanser of the lungs, and to bathe them the head should be throwh back, and thru the nostrils pure, fresh a|r slWld be inhaled till the lungs are distended to their utrnds# limit,! About twenty-five of the deepest possible lungfuls of pure air should be slowly inhaled and exhaled. '"ftien the pure air rushes like a torrent thru all the dusty crannies and hidden, grimy corners of the lungs, and it carries out with it every impurity. "After a long sitting in a theater's stale air, try a lung bath.' You will be amazed to find feow it will cheer and strengthen you." CHEAPEST PliACE IN THE WOKIJ). *"PH cheapest place in the world is Antioch," said a I globe-trotter. I once passed a winter there, and all it cost me, tho I leased a fine house and kept three servants, was $4 a week. Antioch is in Asia. It is on the Mediterranean. The climate is all right for winteras good a winter climate as Monte Carlo, Palm Beach, or Los Angeles. "For my house I paid $5 a month rent. My servants I paid o0 cents a week. Mutton cost 3 cents a pound. Eggs were 2 cents a dozen. Chickens were 5 cents apiece. Fish cost a fifth of a cent a pound. The finest of fresh fruits and vegetablesfresh fruits and vegetables in February were so cheap that they were not sold in quantity. You got all you wanted for so much a week. All I wanted for my household cost me a quarter weekly. "An American resident of Antioch told me that he and his family lived comfortably on $175 a year." MOUNTAINEERING ON A BICYCLE. 6( ONCE ^nade a tour of Switzerland on my bicycle," 1 said an artist. "It was a most interesting tour. "In one canton, if you frightened a horse, the driver could compel you not- only to dismount, but to hide your ma chine as well. You would have to gather it up in your arms and run for the nearest bush or rock. "On some of the long ascents horses towed French and German wheelmen up. A rope 30 or 40 feet long would be attached to the horse's traces, and to this rope a half-dozen tourists would fasten their machines. The horse would set off, the men would mount, and up the hill the procession would mo\e slowly. Sometimes the horse stopped suddenly then everybody had to dismount. An odd sight." WHISKY MADE FROM RAGS. 4npHI whisky," said the chemist, "was made from rags. 1 It was made from a bundle of old shirts and collars. Will you sample it?" "No, thank you." I made the whisky as an experiment," the chemist ex- plained. "Everybody knows that it is possible to convert linen rags into sugar and alcohol, but I doubt if anyone has ever actually done the trick before. "First I immersed the linen in strong sulphuric acid. This dissolved the cellulin, which, assimilating one molecule of water, resolved itself into glucose. I recovered the glucose by neutralizing the excess of acid with salt. Then, by means of the ordinary process of fermentation, alcohol appeared. The final result Was ,this^ small flask of whisky. I assure you I have tasted worse." A N INCREDIBLE FACT. N A FRENZY the astronomer ran his long, white fingers thru his gray hair. "How can I explain to you," he cried, "th immensity of the universe, and, by contrast, the littleness of the earth, the petty futility of man? "Light travels at the rate of 186,000 miles a second. The inhabitants of Sinus, if they are looking at us now thru their telescopes, are beholding the destruction, of Jerusalem, which took place over 1,800 years ago. \j,^ -tf ^'j$o far away is Sirius that the light of the world, with what this light illuminates, traveling 186,000 miles an hour takes nearly 2,000 years to reach Sirius." ^t^r. N Maybe your laundry is slowly burning up your linen with chemi- cals. "The White" is a soap and water laundry. No chemicals are used. A postal card or either phone will bring our auto for your package. v* ""'aSS INSIST UPON CRESCENT CREAMEKT RUTTED First to Try It. It is a mark of distinction to be a pioneer in any good cause. What more natural than that a Connecticut invest ment banker should write us: "I think I was the first one here to use Barrington Hall coffee, and I found it to be what I had most de sired, a. coffee -which I could, use freely without in jury, for I love coffee as I love my iife, and I had been obliged to forego the ordinary kind on account of its dyspeptic qualities. Very truly, ARTHUR G. TODD." The enthusiasm Of a man who finds what he is looking for in Barrington Hall, the steel-cut coffee, is seldom found in any merely good food product. is goodthat is, delicious, satisfying and economicalo mr+ vi BarringtoiCHall!but TT|0 ^g* COT ~something X^XMf ^/^Vy not find in any other cof- fee and there is a reason for this claim. The significant part of the steel-cut process, by which Bar rington Hall is prepared, is that itoremoVes the bitter tannin bearing, yellow skin. If you will make an infusion of the cof fee parchment (found within the kernel), you will find it a strong astringent without any coffee flavor. If you will ex- amine Barrington Hall as it comes to you in the sealed tins you will notice that it contains none of the bitter parchment, no dust or any impurity. Also note that it is finely granulated so as to yield its coffee flavor fully, the moment the infusion -comes to the boiling point. Try it don't take our word* for anything. Roasted, steel cut, packed by machinery in sealed tins and guaranteed by Baker & Co., Importers, Minneapolis. For sale by the better class of grocers at 35c per pound* Go to John D. Rockefeller, Thou Shopper CONSIDER HIS WAYS! This advice is given because Mr. Rockefeller is an improvement upon the fabled antformerly chief e*. ample of hustle and thrift. Jt is related of the richest American that in reply to a friend who asked him about the reasons of his success, he said, in effect:. I THINK MY BUSINESS SUCCESS IS DUE LARGELY TO HAVING ALWAYS TRIED TO P1ACE A PROPER VALUE UPON UNITS. This idea is so big, so all-embracing, that it is a safe creed for anyone, business man or who-not. It goes beyond the ant and the "busy bee," who have preachedchiefly long hours of labor! The shopperwhich means the universal woman and the nine-tenths universal manhas a daily oppor tunity to test the unit ruleto buy one thing at the right store and right price before making a J*cond pur chase, and to repeat the process indefinitely-thus trtaAH-rvgr right "btiyixLg yield a real income, as over wrong buying, at- the end of the year. Of course,' ,s only shoppers who study Journal advertisements are able to place a "proper value on units," so that the point of this preachment is plain. it is something mored that yu 1* 1 4