The Minneapolis journal. [volume], March 07, 1906, Page 18, Image 18

About The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939

Image provided by: Minnesota Historical Society; Saint Paul, MN

                
EXCITEMENT
"mesdames
r
tl
-i
With the Long Bow
Well, he can't do it any too quick to suit us.
18 i v--:'M wiJ^VS ^Wednesday* Kvenin^^^^Jb HE?"
"By nature's walks, shoot folly as it Hits.
How the Crib of Mrs. Stephenson Was Cracked by Our
Social Circles in "Gladstun"Exciting Event Taken
jgf from the Society Page of the Delta County Reporter.
has seized on Gladstone, Delta county,
Michigan, where the Soo road comes from, and this ex-
citement has warped our social circles into Avobbly parabolas.
The Reporter, as is
duty,l
tells
how"Gladstun.of
I& ^Reporter says:
ft", "Last Tuesday afternoon Mrs. Stephenson was the \ic-
gbtim. The foe stormed the citadel, front, back. Avindows, but
Iff in vain. They were certain the lady had intrenched herself
P*within. Finally a cellar window yielded. With a wild shout
i of triumph Mrs. Harris, wife of our popular Methodist min-
& lister, leaped thru the opening, quickly followed by Mrs.
If Woodruff. They landed in the potato bin. scrambled thru the
fl^coal and finally emerged sooiy, but smiling, into the kitchen
to usher in the remainder of the party.. Still the object of
their search eluded them. After tracking her to an upper
5 chamber, and an ineffectual attempt to force the stronghold,
the conspirators returned below stairs. To the accompani
ment of wild, stirring music, they plotted their next deed.
Chaos should reign in that housenot an article of furniture
should remain untouchedwhen suddenly into their midst
dropped a deadly missile (commonly called a shoe), narrowly
missing the head of Mrs. Goldstein, the chief plotter, and
above them stood the object of their search. After such a
gallant resistance, she had decided to capitulate rather than
have her house despoiled. A truce was declared and the
balance of the afternoon spent in peace and harmony.
"Just a word of warning to Mrs. Harris. Neither iron
bars across the windows, dynamite bombs under the doors,
nor a cordon of watch-dogs around the house will avail her
when her time arrives."
After studying this carefully it was discovered from the
headlines that it was a surprise party, and no fight. As in
the case of Sarah Gamp's friend, Mrs. Harris, we are al-
most in doubt as to whether "there is sich a person" in
Gladstone, but if there is, let her beware!
A poet in St. Peter (city, not asylum) has suddenly burst
into the first spring poem of the season. He declares that:
The sun is bright and warm,
The robin shows his sporty vest
And $11 the farmers start to farm,
And cats their voices test.
Fair hope again grows green
In all despairing human hearts,
That long have cold and frozen been
And Cupid shoots his darts.
Come, let us all enjoy
In full the spring's renewing bliss,
^T i And watch how Siin, the gay old boy,
S.,"Jt Gives Mother Earth a kiss.
An old paper from the far north, dated November last,
makes interesting reading. The Nome Nugget, speaking of
the~"Great White Silence," of which Jack London writes,
and which he never saw, his visit to Alaska and Yukon ter-
ritory having been confined to one brief summer, states that
it has again settled down over Alaska. The Arctic ice pack
came this year, as it usually does, silently, shutting out the
expanse of sea, which it will hold in its stern, unrelenting
grip until the sun and the winds from the south break its
fetters.
But the isolation of this year, says the Nugget, is not of
the kind that the pioneers of this country knew prior to the
coming of the telegraph. In the winter of 1900 the first news
that the people of Nome received from the outside was on
March 1. It was in the form of a newspaper, the Yukon Sun
of Pawson, and was of date Dec. 19,1899. It contained news
of Oct. 14, relating the outbreak of the Boer war. The paper
was brought to Nome by W. Y. Fisher, who is still a resident
of Nome. So anxious were the people for "outside news"
that a hall was rented and the people packed it to its utmost
capacity. Attorney R. B. Milroy read the contents of the
precious sheet. After the reading was over the paper was
sold for the benefit of the fire department and was "knocked
down" to the proprietor of the Nugget for the sum of $6.
A portion of its contents again did service as news in the
paper he was publishing.
In 1901 news of the election of President McKinley, in
November, 1900, was deceived on Feb. 6. Last year the
people of Nome knew the result of the presidential election
on Nov. 9.
Before many more years have elapsed Nome will see the
"iron horse" daily pulling a train of cars into the city from
some point on the North Pacific coast.
This horse has now reaehed Lincoln, Neb., and the people
in that icebound clime are rejoicing to learn that the senate
is-taking up the reconstruction bill. Dr. Bixby, with his team
of spotted Elks, Speck and Span, hitched up last week and
took the latest news across the frozen waste from Lincoln
to Home.
"Old Kennedy," who has been a familiar figare in
Baltimore, is said to be "all in." Old Kennedy himself
acknowledges it, and this week he asked his honor to let
him go to the poorhouse.
'_ "Squire," he said, "I'm down and out. A few more
months and I'll have to take the count and hand over the
iielt to rum" It's got me going, an' I've got to run away
from it. My legs will hardly hold me. My head burns. My
heart burns. I'm an old has-been. You understand?
Squire, you\e always been my friend. Now, I want to go
^o Bay view."
To the reporters Kennedy said:
Seventeen rears continually drunk. Thoroly saturated
asifch all kinds of alcohol. All kinds of exposure, alleys, cel-
lars, rain or snow. Nothing but whisky no food. Literally
burnt out, heart, lungs, stomach, brains, kidneys and the
^,whole business."
!Sr So passes Old Kennedy, a pretty good fellow, but all
bunged up, the victim of the greatest hypnotist on the face
of the earth today. You may fool with the Old Man Booze
for a while, but in the long run he will get you stretched be-
tween two chairs and will be making passes over you and
breaking rocks on your form. Cut him out. A. J. R.
a party fierce
crackedits a socia crib at Th
THE PRIVATE'S PRIDE.
JSJ^PHE late General Joseph Wheeler," said a southerner,
_* "was one of the bravest men who ever lived. He was
wounded three times during the civil war, and sixteen
horses were shot under him.
Bp"Yet it was not his military, but his literary achieve
ments that he took most pride in. He knew this was foolish,
v. 3u he could not help it. He said once to me, apologetically,
tftat he "was not the only man whose pride was misplaced.
"He said that, in a certain engagement in his youth, he
^onee hearfLa private swearing and cursing,most frightfully.
"Lieutenant Wheeler, as he was then, went up to the
private and said sternly: v^
jp" 'Where did you learn to swear like that?'
"The private, at this question, smiled modestly.
Ye can't learn it,' he answered. 'It's a gift.'
mm
JVLX^NIN
GROWING NICELY, THANK YOU.
The Tall GirVs Adventure
4CT*HERE'S a good deal of advantage in being tall," said
the 6-foot athletic girl, who is proportioned accord
ingly. "Especially when it comes to going out with a fresh
fellow. Wait till I tell you my experience with the little fel-
low from Hoboken.
"He was about 5 feet 3, with short legs and arms and a
little tiny face. Somebody introduced him to me, I have
forgotten who it was now, and he asked me right off the reel
to dine with him. It seems a sort of shame for a girl who
has to support herself to let any opportunity to dine at any-
body else's expense go by, so I willingly assented, and upon
the evening named he came humping around.
'Where shall we go?' he asked, throwing back his head
and looking up at me.
I think the Waldorf would be rather nice,' I answered,
looking down at him.
"So we took a cab and went sailing up to the Waldorf,
which is only about half a mile from where I live. Still,
when you have to walk all the time, why not ride when you
have a chance?
"When we got there the cabby robbed him, of course.
Anybody could see he was from the country but I didn't
let that worry me. I walked right in and the little fellow
followed as if nothing at all had happened to him. I will
say that for him. He's got a lot of pluck. The first thing
he did was to order cocktails. Then oysters. Then a little
white wine with the oysters. Then he asked me what else I
would have, and, after studying the menu a while, I ordered
the dinner.
I know a few things about ordering a dinner when I
can think of them. The consomme in cup was all right. So
was the fish. There wasn't
a thing the matter with
the reed birds or the
duck, and if you could
have tasted the ice I or
dered! I never saw any
thing like the attention of
that waiter.
I thought he would
turn himself inside out
with his serpentine twists.
We Jiad creme de menthes
and benedictines and fin
ger-bowls, and the little
fellow laid a yellow bil1
down for the waiter tc
take out and bring bacW^
the change.
"When the change
came it wasn't enough for
the waiter's tip And the
little fellow was so plucky
he never cracked an ex
pression when he went
down in his pocket_ foi
more and told the kow
towing menial to send out
to the office and find what
tickets could be got for
what theater that evening.
"When Ave had decided on the theater we walked proudly
out, he about two feet below me and everybody looking, and
took another cab. Do you know, I really had some com-
punctions afterward about taking that second cab? The
theater was only right around the corner, and the cabby, see-
ing us get in at the Waldorf, charged him like anything, I
know, but you can't alwaj's think of such things at the time
when you are out for the e\emng. Can you?
"He certainly was a generous littfe fellow. After the
theater he took me somewhere, another cab for four blocks
this time, and we had a few oysters and a little white wine.
It was a lovely place, with floweis and music, so we lingered
a while, enjoying ourselves. Then we came away and took
another cab to my home. This is the story. We had no
sooner got in that cab than the little fellow put his arm
around meit was so little it only went half-way round, and
said: Won't* you giva me a kiss
"Now, what do you think of that? Wasn't it imperti
nence for you? And from Hoboken, too! I laughed it off
and said, I haven't any kisses to spare.'
"Then, what do you think happened? That fresh little
fellow raised up and tried to steal a kiss. I frowned sternly
and raised up my head till it nearly went thru the roof of the
cab. I was nearly as tall sitting 'down as he was standing,
you must remember.
'Sir!' I said, but I said it in such a way that the ""little
fellow shrunk to nothing in his side of the cab. He looked
pretty nearly scared to death. I believe he thought I was
going to stab him with a hatpin. Then I sat there with my
head touching the roof of the cab until we got home. Then I
said, I thank you for a pleasant evening,' and sailed into the
house.
"That's the last I nave seen of him from that night to
this. Oh, no. I don't believe that little fellow will try to
ber
fresh with another JalLgirlnot wjfrile he 5emen$erj3 jn.e.,
New York Press*JL-*i An %jLj^ lH** S
E-A^X
WALKEU SIGHT IN AND THE LIT-
TLE FELLOW FOLLOWED.
OIJIS
*iIcatAoi
POULTNEYn
M-
4/-PORTLAN
tftFOXj JL^Nj^LL4f^l
A String of Good Stories
felt how thr inithmiyju
1 t^y the tale as 'twas saht to me."
J^OT VERY LOGIC At./
BIGELOW was arguing with' a local New
York ma about the Panama canal.
"You are not very logical," Mr. Bigelow said at length
Indeed, you are as illogical as an old man I used to know in
Berlin.
"This old man, umbrella in hatfd, set out one morning on
a chopping trip, He visited the shoemaker's for shoes, the
hatter's for a hat, the grocer's for groceries, and so on and
when he got back home in the evening he found that he had
left his umbrella behind him somewhere,
"Accordingly, the next morning, the-old. man set out
again quest^of the lost umbrella'. He was unlucky at first.
The seventh shop he visited was the. one wherein his um-
biella turned up.
'Well,' h,e feaid, after thanking the shopman, as he
started out with the recovered umbrella under his arm, I
must say you are more honest here than they were at those
other shops.'
TO BREAK THE MONOTONY.
RVING G. WADSWOBTH of the Congregational Home
Missionary society of New York, was describing profes
sional beggars and their ways.
"There was a beggar with a wooden leg," he said, "who
for many years plied his trade near the Battery. The old
fellow is dead now. He left a good Ibank balance behind, him.
"They say of this very successful beggar that one after
noon a delivery man, seeing him unbuckling his wooden leg in
the cheap lodginghouse where they both lived, said, in a re-
proachful tone:
'Wot, Bill, knockin' off work already? It's only 2
'clock.'
"The beggar continued the unbuckling of his ligneous
limb.
'No, ye dolt I ain't knockin' off I'm only changin','
he said. 'Ye can't expect me to beg all day on the same leg,
can ye?'"
WHEN PUSHED.
J. IRONS, who has been growing plants with wonder
ful success under an acetylene light at the Cornell
department of agriculture, said recently:
"Plants are like men. They adapt themselves to the con-
ditions confronting them. If a plant can't have ten hours
of sunshine it contrives to get along somehow on five hours.
"It is like mankind. A man said to his friend one day:
'Do you think two can live as cheap as one?'
'Before my marriage I thought they could," the friend
replied.
'Andafterwards?'
'Afterwards I found they had to.'
RESOURCEFUL.
F. BISHOP of Lenox, Mass., is a
\~J noted automobilist," said a dealer in motor-boats,
"and he merits his fame, for there is not to be found a more
resourceful man than he.
"Once, in a desolate part of Vermont, quite ten miles
from a house or a human being, Mr. Bishop and I, in a tour
ing-car, came to four crossroads.
"We had expected to find a signboard at the crossroads.
Well, the signboard was there, but it had blown down. It
lay in the dust.
"To you or me this overturned signboard would have
seemed useless. But not so to Mr. Bishop. He stood it up
so that it pointed the way we had come, and behold, it was
an accurate guide again."
What the Market Affords
EAL steak, 20 cents a pound.
Strictly fresh eggs, 18 cents a dozen.
Creamery butter, 30 cents a pound.
Flour, twenty-five pound sack, 60 cents.
Celery, 15 cents a stalk.
Okra, 20 cents a quart can.
The season is about over for celery. What is in the mar
ket comes from California and is rather high. A vegetable
soup is a very nourishing luncheon dish. The Louisiana Creoles
use okra as a basis for their vegetable soup, and to make it
as they do wash and cut into thin slices half a dozen good-sized
okras place them in a saucepan with a pint of stewed toma
toes and one thinly-sliced onion, advises Madame. Cover the
whole with two quarts of cold water and simmer for two
hours add two teaspoonfuls of salt, a saltspoonful of pep-
per and two tablespoonfuls of butter when the butter is
dissolved, stir in a tablespoonful of mushroom catsup and
one tablespoonful of chopped green sweet pickle. Serve with
triangle of toasted bread.
To scramble eggs with tomatoes, fry one small slice of
onion in two tablespoons of butter for five minutes. Add
one cup of tomatoes, one teaspoon sugar, one-half teaspoon
salt, a little pepper, and cook for five minutes. Add four
eggs slightly beaten, and cook the same as scrambled eggs.
4 BillHey Jfi got the price of a drink Jn yer close?
TimAn' think$d be after rt&aaato#'outj
Marchif
~ML *3
?7, i9o6^^$Tf .FS?I??$ IP
Daily Puzzle Picture
True Tone" Quick Change Cor
net. Best on Earth. $1.00 a Week*
When you want a musical instrument, zo to
one who knowsthat's
41.43 S. Sixth Street
Met. Music Co.'s Bldg.
CATALOG FOB THE ASKING.
ROSE
FINE CUTLERY
JUkmTMss)
A full
Una of
CarvmeSets,
Manicure Cases.
Shavinr Outfits. Toilet
Articles. Cutlery Qrisdins.
R. H. HEGENER,
207 Nicollet Are.. Minneapolis.
A Grocer recently said
if possible make Wilbur 's Cocoa not quite so good,
and charge me a Kttle less (or it, so I can sell it a little
cheaper, I'll not need any other kind on my shelves it
sells on it's "name."
The Grocer who said that
is still selling more of Wilbur's Cocoa than any other.
So does almost every grocer, because it's best for five
reasons.
To that Grocer we said
and we say it to you, Wilbur's Cocoa will never be
made less perfect than now. We've a name, a
reputation and a policy to live up to. That's the grocer's
gain and the public's protection.
Grocers sell most of
WILBUR'S COCOA
It's pure, delicate, nutritious, easily digested, maintains its
delicious flavor.
Try Wilbur's American Milk Chocolate.
RSOTBwnvBCBEanBaBBHBBHHKHMBBBBHHH^
Quick Trips to
Chicago and St Louis
That discouraging search for a
"competent laundress" will end
the day you telephone
The
are assured patrons of the Burlington's electric
lighted "Limited." It leaves Minneapolis at 7:50
p. m., arriving Chicago next morning at 9:00
St. Louis 5:35 m. Every possible comfort for
every minute of the journey! A thro' train that
is unexcelled.
S4
Burlington
it
L*ss elegant, but very satisfactory. Is
the Scenic Line Express leaving Minneap
olis 7.30 a. m., arriving Chicago 9.35 p. m.,
St Louis 7.15 a. m.
TicketsThird and Nicollet. Both Phones.
-rl
IT. D. JONES, City Ticket Agent
1
i
White Laundr
925 Washington Av. S.
A postal card or either phone
will bring our auto to your door.