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The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, April 07, 1906, Image 16

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San Francisco.
With the Long Bow
women of the California club of San Francisco have
persuaded the board of education to try and induce the
pupils of the public schools to celebrate the Fourth of July
with such proper patriotism as shall tend to eliminate the
element of noise and danger.
f-T 'We can see little Frank, George, Eddie and Harold cele-
brating their quiet Fourth, Frank reading the Declaration of
Independence out behind the barn, George, Eddie and Harold
-waving their hats and giving a decorous "hurrah" and then
all dispersing quietly to their homes to read the Federalist
trace out the various compromises which were made to
secure that grand old document under the terms of which we
are now robbed by the coal trust.
We trust that our youth may be led to see that liberty
may be secured and maintained without the disagreeable
concomitant of undue noise and confusion.
One of those backyard palmists gave a ''reading" of the
hand of a house on Humboldt avenue the other Monday
night after dark. He did not trace the life line, but he didj.
by his occult art, locate the clothes line and he made the--
very shrewd prediction that the family Irving in the house
would lose their "wash" bef01e morning. They did. Isn't it
Harry Mailler, editor of the Leona, Kan., Hustler, was
married the other day to Miss Edith Randolph. This is his
account of the affair as he printed it in his own paper:
The bride wore a beautiful dress of French lawn at least
that's what they said it was.
The groom (that means "we") wore the customary black
hand-me-down, and was about scared to death.
There was no bridesmaid or best man because the groom did
not think he could find a better man than himself.
Miss Eandolph is a peach, most of her beauty is natural and
she looks good to us she is one of our schoolmates and we know
can throw a brick with remarkable accuracy. A sample of he*
rare nerve is shown by her vowing to "love, honor, etc."
The other interested party is a joke he came to Leona in
the fall of '83 without clothes or money, and is now free from
all financial debt. There are others just as bad and they are not
in the penitentiary either.
It is safe to say that Mrs. Mailler did not thoroly enjoy
her new hubby's write-up of the affair.
The Whitesburg, Ky., News complains bitterly of the tel-
ephone service. The News says plainly:
All kinds of talk goes over the line, and when one wants to
talk business it is impossible, for the confusion on the line.
People want to use their phone they have paid their money for
it. The other day while a lady was talking to her brother over
the phorie some half raised scoundrel spoke and said, "Hello'
honey," and the lady that was talking was the writer's mother,
and we say in all candidness that the person who did so was no
gentleman, let him be who he may be, and we think the man-
ager of the line should take some step to stop such work, as no
enterprise can prosper with such work as this.
My, but we will wager that mother was good and mad
when some one broke right in on her conversation and called
her "honey." When her son called the next day she told
him about it and said, I just think you ought to put that in
the paper. It's simply outrageous." And he did. We
trust the unmannerly scoundrel who did it blushed when he
read this open rebuke!
"Seasickness," says a medical authority, "is the result
of nerve irritation. The motion of the steamer induces a
corresponding movement of the internal organs, especially
the liver, which irritates the solar plexus and the nerve cen-
ters of the brain. If there is no unnatural motion of the
liver, etc, there can be no seasickness."
A lay authority suggests before embarking on the tur-
bulent deep that the liver be carefully secured with ropes
and cleats and attached firmly to the backbone. In this way
seasickness may be obviated.
The Maccabees lodge at Mankato had a peck of trouble
at its recent initiation. The candidates were standing blind
folded wondering what was coming next, when the plastering
of the ceiling fell with a crash and a cloud of dust. The
candidate's were kept blinded during the cleanup and were
given to understand, as they clawed the plaster out of their
hair, that the goat had exploded and hit the ceiling.
-A. J. R.
What the Market Affords
N HOMES without number the supply of home-made cat
sups and pickles begins to run short this time of the
year, while the craving for acid is much greater than usual.
Not everyone knows that delicious chili sauce and catsup
can be made very easily from the canned tomatoes. Put into
the preserving kettle one quart canned tomatoes, three green
peppers chopped fine, or four small ripe ones, two minced
onions two tablespoonfuls each salt and sugar, one of cinna
mon and three scant cups of vinegar or less if you do not
like it very acid. Simmer gently two or three hours, then
bottle. This will keep for a long time. Stone jugs are better
than glass jars for chili sauce.
If you want pickled peaches or pears and the preserve
closet is empty, open a few cans of peaches or pears, season
with a stick of cinnamon and whole cloves and put fruit,
syrup and all, into boiling hot vinegar, preferably cider.
Leave the fruit in until thoroughly heated, then place in
j'ars, cook the syrup a little longer and pour over the fruit.
This gives an excellent relish when the canned fruit seems
flat, stale and unpalatable.
E DESIRED to take out a life policy for $50,000.
Smiling eagerly, the agent drew forth the blank form
and began the usual series of questions.
"Query six," he said at length, "a re you an automobil-
"No," was the ready rejoinder I am not."
fj "Motor-cyclist, perhaps?"
J* "No."
The agent, with a sigh, laid down his pen.
i^- I am sorry," he said, "but we no longer insure pedes
ER lips quivered. She rushed up stage..
"Serpent that you fire!" she cried.
Tho he shuddered at the cruel words, the lovehght in his
eyes neither faded nor grew old.
"Dear/' he murmured tenderly, "if I'm a serpent, you're
a snake charmer."
But the audience, regarding the joke as old, hissed.
llE cook was going.
"H ow shall I word this recommendation, Marie1?''
mistress asked. "You know I jcan't touch upon industry,
and on the question of neatness the less said the better,
while as for culinary skill
"Well, ma'am," the cook cut in, "suppose you just say
I stood this place four weeks.. That will be sufficient, I
^unf ay Bvening,'
"By aatun'M, walka, uhoot tolly m* ft fifes.'
Noble Work Being Done for a Quiet Fourth, by the Grand
and Self-Sacrificing Women of the California Club of
Oh, make us a boy again, just for a week.
Curios and Oddities
/s Pasting Strmagmt'
NUMBER of ailments, some of them extremely dan
gerous, are comprised under the general head of
postage stamp tongue," said a physician. "Postage stamp
tongue, in a word, is any disorder contracted from the lick-
ing of postage stamps.
"Three or four persons a week visit with postage
stamp tongues. They have a throat trouble, or a skin disease,
or a pulmonary complaint, brought on by the reckless habit
of stamp-licking.
A stamp should never be licked, as its gummed surface
is always squirming and pulsating with germs. If any lick-
ing is to be done, let it be applied to the right hand upper
corner of the envelop, where the stamp goes, for there the
germs are apt to be sparser.
"To be safe, tho, the tongueshould never be applied to
either envelop or stamp. A damp sponge should be used in
the tongue's stead."
OME-MADE wines will be turned out busily as^long as
the spring lasts. Dandelion wine, birch wine, coltsfoot
wine, ginger and clover and poppy and a dozen other wines
will be made this spring by many a housewife, after a
recipe handed down in her family for generations.
Theje is an incredible number of these wholesome and
pure home-made wines. Every state, in faot, is renowned
for some wine that is never sold on the market, that can
only be obtained in the cellars of old-fashioned houses.
Among these famous brews are ginger wine, green ginger
wine, sage wine, turnip wine, marigold wine, gooseberry wine,
cowslip, blackberry, damson, poppy, balm, parsnip and elder
flower wine.
All are heavily consumed in the spring, it being thought
that they purify the blood.
T*W new ideas strike one in the fashionable restaurants
1 this spring," said a club man.
"One relates to wines. It is the fashion now to drink
with the dinner two kinds of champagnea very dry brand
with the first part of the meal, and a sweeter branda
mousseux or demi-secwith the dessert.
"The other idea relates to hats. Women in grand toilet,
with bare necks and shoulders sparkling with jewels, wear
hats this spring, instead of going bareheaded as in the p^st.
This fashion is impressive and beautiful. A woman in black,
for instance, with her arms bare and a collar of pearls
gleaming on her throat, looks well in a black hat with a
large white plume.
"The wine fashion comes to us from Condon. The hat
one comes to us from Paris."
HERE are a number of birds that put or fresh, bright,
beautiful clothes for their spring weddings. These
birds, when they mate, change their sober dress of grey or
brown for plumes of gold and scarlet.
Thus the warrior bird of Germany puts on for the mat-
ing season a ruff of many bright hues, while the female dons
a cape of white.
The grebe's wedding dress is two tufts of brilliant blue
feathers. They stand like horns upon his Tiead. They en-
hance his beauty greatly.
The gnat-catcher is a dull brown bird, but in the spring
his plumes turn a beautiful green.
The fire-weaver's wedding dress is the most splendid of
all. This bird, a sober fellow in the winter, wears, when
he takes a wife, a dress of bright red.
DOCTOR was pointing out medical fallaciesthe
wrong ideas abou$ things medical that many people
"One fallacy," he said, "is that beef tea is nourishing.
It is nothing but water in which certain pleasant and ex-
hilarating meat salts are dissolved. You would starve to
death on beef tea, the same as oii whisky or on cftffee.
"Another fallacy is that alcoholwhiskywarms the
body. Alcohol lowers the temperature. It chilterinstead
warming. Hence it is of no use, whatever as a guard against
A third fallacy is that one egg contains as-sauch nour
ishment* as a pound of meat. Sick people without appetite
tbin-k complacently that, if they take an egg or two a day,
they are doing well. As a matter of fact, they are doing
anything but well. They must remember, if they are sub-
stituting: eggs for meat, that eight eggs, not one, are re-
quired tc equal one meat pound*
"Ilwn there's the liver fallacy. Matty aOooT'af their
stoivachs get out of order, begin to treat their liver. But
tie Mver is a dangerous thing to treat unless one under
stands it. for there are ninety distinct liver troubles, and
what is ccod for one of them may be bad for all the rest."
m* sJk
The Sympathetic Stranger
A HE doorbell rang again,fiercely.Mrs.
Owen laid aside her apron with a sigh.
This was her busy clayyet it might
be a telegram. She tiptoed across the
hall and surreptitiously peeked under
the closely drawn shade. Just here
the bell rang a violent peal, which so
startled Mrs. Owen that she jumped,
and so did the shadeto the top of the window.
"Oh," groaned she, "he has seen me and now it would
be impolite not to answer the bell. I hope he isn't a book
agent. They are so hard to get rid of, and the poor things
have to earn their living." Here she opened the door partly
an inhospitable crack.
"Good morning," said a pleasant voice. I don't wonder
you hesitate to open the door, for it is so apt to be that enemy
of time, that common nuisance, the book agent or that legal
pirate, the patent medicine faker. Surely, madam, a woman
of your intellect will not hesitate to recognize a promoter
and greet him in a friendly spirit. Pardon me."
Here, with a polite bow, he pushed the door open.
"You see," continued the stranger, a man of my work,
whose brain is active a possible twenty-three out of
every twenty-four hours and upon whose efforts millions of
people are dependent, feels the fatigue of standing so long
on the doorstep. Don't let me keep you standing, either, as
you have probably many duties to perform today, which will
tax your strength to the limit
Mrs. Owen opened her mouth as if to say something,
gasped twice and then relapsed into settled silence and sunk
into the nearest chair. Her lack of knowledge in regard to
promoters made her hesitate to expose her ignorance to this
silky gentleman. He might be a missionary of some kind,
buthe wasn't a book agent.
"Madam, if a thief got into your home what would
you do?"
"Scream," gasped Mrs. Owen, who was quite taken back
by this opening.
"Certainly, madam. Yet there are many kinds of thieves.
Thieves of time
"Yes," sighed the gentle housekeeper.
"But the worst kind is the thief of health. He gnaws
our vitals and tho ages roll on and nations crumble still he
UTT-MA'AK rTfctWlLl/BE. .A
holds the same changeless pose, tearing and wearing out our
lives. You have some beautiful children, madam."
"How did
1 am not a Sherlock Holmesbut I know what I know.
Are those their pictures I see on the mantel?"
"Yos. One is 5 and the other 3
am glad to see you have a mother's fond heart and
fine sentiment. They have beautiful hair."
^'Flossie's is almost golden
"And it is your duty, ma'am, to keep it so. Duty ought,
really to be spelled with a capital 'D,' so many persons over-
look,it. It is everyone's duty to look as well as possible.
Yon would like always to look young?"
"But we can't do that. The gray will creep into our
Pardon meit is that I would avoid. You joul never
seem old with that abundance of beautiful brown hair which
your husband so much admir*es."
Here Mrs. Owen blushed like a girl.
"But, ma'am, it will be a twang to his heartstrings when
your hair begins to lose its luster. And that is where duty
calls, nay, screams, ma'am. Surely you would save him these
unnecessary pangs?"
"Oh, yes!" cried the excited woman. She had discovered
a gray hair that morning. "But
"There is no but. I know it. Your husband's hair is not
asluxuriant as it used to be?"
"You know that, tool"
I suppose he has tested the curative properties of
inumerable onions and tons of vaseline?"
"Yes, and lots of-"
"He has probably flooded his sparsely covered head with
every decoction the loquacious barber recommended. Madam,
failures like these are almost tragic. You can't know what
it is to seek quiet on a summer's day and have a regiment
of insects with tickly legs and spikes in their little shoes
prancing over your roof gardenpardon me, head. But
sadder still to have your babes, almost from the cradle, point
their tiny flngeis in scorn at papa's bald pate. Excuse me,
it brings tears to my eyes." Here he mopped his brown
with his handkerchief.
"If I knew what
"There's where I can help you. Careful people now con-
sider it a duty to use Baldpate's Bijou Balsam. It delights
the mother, for it keeps her darling's hair fluffy and golden.
It prevents brown hairs turning gray. It fully restores the
barren phrenological knoll. It's a sublimely effective salve,
soothing to the head and to broken-down nerves. It's a
magic hair instigatorhair inspirer, I might say.''
Mrs. Owen had heard of hair restorers before, but noth
ing that promised what this did.
"If you could tell me where to get thethe salve, I
joright try one box," she said.
"Three, ma'am, to start with is none too many. I have
them 111 my pocket. No home can be truly happy without
them. It is positively pathetic to run short of this glorious
preparation. It aids the digestion. You never know when
that sly"thief, the microbe, will creep into this happy home.
He may-be here even now lurking in a corner." f
#4? -Mrs. Owen gave a frightened glance around. J*L?* y?
/'I'll-I'll take the three boxes,^she said, ne^ouslyS
Chicago News.
The highest inhabited place is Halne, in Thibet, 15,500
feet above the sea-level. The people there are physically
^St?* CCffe
Daijy Puzzle Picture
April 7, 1863Forty-three years ago today Admiral Dupont made an attempt
to capture Charleston.
Find a gunner.
Upside down, in front of officer. I?
Edison and Victor
n Easy-Payments
Minnesota Phonograph Co.
StationeryLoose Leaf DevicesType Writer SuppliesDesksChairs.
Blank BooksSectional BookcasesFiling CabinetsCard Index System
Everything for the Office
Miller-Davis Printing Co.,
The Down-to-Date Bank and Office Outfitters.
Phones 171. 213-15 Nicollet Ave.
Nl c
6eadtorEdison and Victor Catalog.
Store Open EreningB.
Examined Pre
Artificial Eyes.
Optician.409 Nicollet.
A Village Grocer's Surprise.
John Miltonnot the author of "Paradise Lost"but an
up-to-date village grocer at Medusa, in Central New York,
writes in haste:
"Ship me at once, and hurry the order, another 50-
lb. case Barrington Hall Coffee, Is (1-lb. tins).
Am surprised at the sales in this small village,
where my principal coffee sale is on (a cheap
package grade). Your coffee is all right.
Very truly yours,
The supreme test of any article of merchandise is the ex-
perience of the men who sell it to the consumer. There are
thousands of letters just like this. Mr. Milton's familiar name
and the shortness of his lettertedto its selection. But
is selected by Mr. Milton's
customers for no mere
sentimental reason. Theys Barragto Hall is
much pettermore whole-
some, more deliciousthat price is not the main considera
There are In Medusa, as elsewhere, people who have felt
that coffee drinking did not agree with them. These find the
steel-cut prqeess, which removes the tannin-bearing chaff by
a new and improved method, produces a delicious beverage
that can be drunk by anyone without distress, or any injuri
ous after effects.
Roasted, steel-cut, packed by machinery in sealed tins and
guaranteed by Baker & Co., Importers, Minneapolis.
For sale by the better class of grocers at 35c per pound.
OMPARE The Journal
with its nearest com
petitor yesterday, to
day and tomorrow, then
every day for any num
ber of weeks, and thereJM
will be no doubt in your
mind as to which pafSe in
Minneapolis is the recog
nized advertising medium.
Figure Ii Out YoursM -Mj
The best kind' of a Journal want ad "Is one' which so clear ant" com-
lete that the reader will stop and think of some person It will just ixu If
Is not personally Interested he will call It to the a^ttkaHM of a friend. This
gives an Immense circulation to-&our adiot onlydfemong the persons who
read it, but among those known to them. But the ad must be attractive and
descriptive to secure this attention.

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