The Minneapolis journal. [volume], April 29, 1906, Part II, Editorial Section, Image 13

About The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939

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By Georg* Ade.
{Copyright by George Ade.)
DUSINnooa1906.first
the three days, in
Cair brilliant and original
pla action had been outlin
ing itself in my mind. At last I could
not keep it to myself any longer, so
told Mr. Peasley.
"Bo you know what I am going to
doflasked.
Mr. Peasley did not.
I am going to write up the pyra-
--mids. I am going to tell who built
them and how long it took and how
many blocks'*of.stone they contain. 1
shall have myself photographed sitting
on a camel and holding an* American
flag. "Also. I shall describe in" detail
the emotions that surge within me as 1
stand in'the shadow of the Spmnx
and gaze up at that vast and imper
turbable expanse of face."
"It's a great scheme," said Mr.
Peasley, "but vou've been scooped.
They've been written up already.
"Are vou sure!''
"Yes, sir, the whole outfit of pyra
mids has been described in a special
article by a man" named Herodotus.
"How"long since?"
"About 470 B. C."
__ He produced a guidebook and proved
that he Was right. All the things that
I had been getting ready to say about
the pyramids had been said by Herod
otus. He had got there ahead of jne
just 2,376 years ahead of me. In
daily newspaper competition, when
some man gets his news twenty-four
hours ahead of another one he is proud
of his "beat" and is the hero of the
office for fifteen or twenty minutes.
But think of trailing along twenty-four
centuries behind JkjRreek-space writer!
It took all the starch out of me.
Mr. Peasley suggested that inasmuch
as considerable time had elapsed since
the appearance of the first writeup,
possibly the average leafier would have
only a dim recollection, of it and accept
my account as brand-new stuff. But. I
knew better. I knew that some old
subscriber, with a
completerisefilep
away in the bureau, would:
JTi
required
ft*
*i
1 V'I
r -it
r^
-J 'f.rj
rfr1'
put
and
draw the deadly parallel on me. All I
can safely do in regard to the pyramids
is touch up a few points overlooked by
my predecessor.
the WHY, had "quite a
At that time Shep-
Herodotus, by
time in Egypt.
''Ji
heard's bote! was not in operation, al
fcho it must have been under wav, and
no round-trip tieKets were issued' by
Cook, so HeroJotus had to do his own
booking and put up at a boarding house.
Tn Memphis, which is now a frag
mentary suburb of Cairo, Herodotus, en
gaged a guide. He does -not tell-us
what he paid, but he -doe? .give .us. a:
"line on the character-of the drftgoroan,i
who was full of superfluous and un-|
'lesirablV information but who ^felT
down when asked to divulge facts of
real importance. "This plovjes^that. t&isi
breed- has -not changed -since- 56 B. 6.
The guide took Her.odotus out to the'
pyramidsi and filled him up. It is now
believed that most of what Herodotus
jent back was merely, hearsay/but_ it
made good reading. The ..pyramid*
biad been-standing some 2,000 years,
md any information in regard to their
jrigin could hardly come under the
heiyl of' personal recollections. "What
ever Herodotus has to say about the
Oframids is now accepted as gospel, in
vpite of the fact that he never saw
hem until twenty centuries after the
ast block of stone, had been 'put. in
Dlace and Cheops. had Jtaken possessioh
the tomb chambers... Rather late
for a grand opening.-
When he arrived at the great pyra
nid he stepped it off and put down the
limensions. and then he remarked to
iome of the natives standirifr around
.iiat iB."roust, "have laeen xjuite a lob to
)uild a tomb of that size. They said
wa-s
thirty yearsHen
ear to build the road arid the huge
_ncline for bringing the blocks of stone
nto the place, and then twenty years,
quarry the stone and transport it
tcross the .Nile and the valley. The
tonecutters worked all the year,.and
luring the three months' inundation,
rhen 'farming was at a standstill, the
ntire rural, population turned-out, just
ts they would at a husking-bee or a
HIS ADDRESS IS
MY NAME IS
MY ADDRESS IS.
t*****!^**.-****^*^!".
barn-raising, and helped Cheops with
year ior thirty years, until tney had
piled up 2,300,000 blocks of stone, each
containing forty cuDic feet.
He and Peasley Together Tell a Remarkable Story of a Visit|Jt the
Enormous Things.
his tomb. They did this) year, after gt^e
rf
had them translated by a 10-cent guide.
But can you believe that a great mon
arch would devote thirty years and
sacrifice thousands of lives and work
his kinC-
the -wh'ole male population. y
res it had been a big contract and as the most valuable space oh this glorious
be thing had been completed only 2,000
rears tpey were enabled ^o go into
letails.
They gave Herodotus a fine lavriut of
ound figures. They said that '100,000
nen had worked on the job and that the
imes
dom to skin and bones putting up a
colossal sepulchre, and then set aside
.monument for -telling how much onions
and garlic had been fed to the help?.
Marco Polo, Mark Twain and all the
other great travelers of history love to
tell tall ones once in a while, but the
garlic story by Herodotus will doubtless
be regarded as a record performance
for a long time to come.
Cheops was possibly the most suc
cessful contractor. in. history. It is
estimated that he must haye. worked
100,000me in the building of the
pyramid, as related1
These goods will be delivered to you by your own Grocer
on or before June 1, 1906. If you will cut out this/'Ad",
and write in your Grocer's name and address and sign it
with your name and addressand mail it to us
,T,:r
MY \GROCER'S IS. i
ur
'_".''/"'
Herodotus discovered some large
hierogiypnics on tne face of tne pyia
niiu ana asked the guide for a transla
tion. It is now supposed that the
guide could not read. Anyone with
education or social standing wouldn't
have been a guide, even in that remote
period. But this guide wanted to ap
pear to .be earning his salary and be
justified in demanuing a tip, so he said
that the inscription told how much
garlic and onions the laborers had con
sumed while at work on the job and
how much these had eost. Herodotus
put it all down in his notebook without
batting an eye.
How much did they spend tor
onions and garlic?" he asked, poising and ,the Sphinx are on a rocky plateau
his pencil. five miles ^to the west of the city.
Tne guide waited for a moment, so There is a beeline road across the low-
that his imagination could get a run-j lands. It is a wide and graded thoro-
ning start, and then he replied, "They fare, set with acacia trees^ and as you
cost 1,600 talents of silver." ride out by trolley or carrigc ydu look
Now, that sum in talents is equiva- i up at the pyramids, and when yoi* are
lent, under modern computation, to still three miles away they seem to be
350,000 English pounds, or $1,750,000- at least a half-mile distant. At
Think of a million dollars' worth of
garlic! Try to imagine the bouquet
that permeated thw desert when 100,000
men who^ had been eating garlic began
to call for more bricks and mortar!
Herodotus told his story and got
away with it. By the time the next
letter-writing traveler came along, a
good many centuries later, the outer
casing oi the pyramid had been
stripped off and the inscription had dis
appeared. His story has stood because
he was here ahead of tbe rest of us and
saw the marks with his own eyes and
ing all that time he never had
eV
pro
MR-rtftOUfcY GAINS NEW At*rU\T10N rOKTMC. 1^TU\MIDS
by Herodotus,great and
-that he- -must have devoted at least
thirtv years to the big^undertaking
A
F. Blanketea^nd Cftfee Co.
116 Second St. North, Minneapolis.
en & lash with the walking
delegate. The eight-hour day was un
known and no one dreamed of such a
thing as an arbitration committee.
All ne had to do was to give orders and
the entire population obeyed him.
Everybody worked but Cheops. He
didn't even pay salaries. It is true
that in a spirit of generosity he set out
a free lunch for the laborersabout
$2,000,000 worth of garlic and onions.
If lie had tried to feed them on quail
bably would have gone broke.
Nowadays visitors go out to the
pyramids by tramcar. For some reason
we had the notion, doubtless shared by
many who have not been there, that to
get to the pyramids one simply rides
thru Cairo and out on the flat, desert.
As a matter of fact, the great pyramid
at Ghizeh, its two smaller companions
the
end of tfe avenue and at the foot of
the hill there is a hotel, and from this
point one may climb or else charter a
dumb animal.
Not knowing the ropes, we engaged
a carriage at 100 pia%res, to take us
from the city out to the plateau. ,This
is not as much as it sounds, but it is
about twice the usual j-ate. After we
struck the long road leading across the
valley and saw the trolley cars gliding
by and leaving us far behind we de
cided to send the carriage back to the
city and take to the trolley, where we
would feel at home. The driver in
formed us that he could not return to
the city, as the big bridge had been
opened to permit the passing of boats,
and that it would be three hours
liefore lie could drive "back to
town. It seems that he was right.
The big bridge .swings open but once
a day,' and then it stays open for a few
hours and the man w^ho finds himself
"bridged" must either swim or en
gage a boat.
fr'''
It is a five minutes' climb from the
,end of the drive up ,to the .rocky
plateau on which the pyramids, are
pe.rched, and the ordinary tourist goes
afoot. But we were pining for Ori
ental extravagance and new sensations,
so we engaged camels. The camel al
loted to me was destitute of hair, and
when first discovered was in a coma
tose condition. His or her name was
Zehobia, and the brunette in charge
Blanke's Sanitary China
Coffee Pots
With the purchase of a THREE pound can of
Blanke's Celebrated Faust Blend Coffee, regular
price $1.20, paid for on delivery, you will be
given FREE one of these fine
$1.25 COFFEE POTS,
?r," ^p|* MINNEAPOLIS,viiMINNESOTA^ SUNDAY MORNING, APRIL 29, 1906 -ftJ^ftf3^^ ff
said that its age wa*f either 6 or
60. It sounded more like "6,"
but the general appearance of the
animal seemed to back up the "60"
theory. As we approached Zenobia
opened one eye and took-a hard look at
the party, and then made a low wailing
sound which doubtles* meant "More
trouble for. me." fThe- venerable
animal creaked at every joint as it
slowly rose into the air on the instal
ment plan, a foot.or two, at ^a time.
Wo had come thousands of miles to
see the pyramids, andifbr the next ten
minutes we were so busy hanging on to
those undulating ships, of :the desert
that we overlooked even the big pyra
mid, which was spread out before us. 750
feet wide and 450 feet high. Biding a
camel is like sitting on a high trestle
that is giving way at the joints and is
about to collapse. The distance to the
ground is probably ten feet, but you
seem to be fifty feet in the.air. As
soon as we could, escape from the camels
wc walked around and gazed in solemn
silence at the Sphinx' and the three
pyramids and doubtless thought all of
the things that werejappropriate to the
time and place.
The great pyramid of Cheops has
been advertie^a so extensively that
doubtless many people will be surprised
to learn that there is a whole flock of
pyramids on this plateau along the edge
of the Libyan desert, it. There are pyra
mids to the: north and'pyramids to the
south, five groups" in all, sixty of them,
and they vary in size from .*'stingy lit
tle mound looking like an extinct lime
kiln uri to the behemoth specimen
which is- photographed by ayery Cook
tourist.
Why do these pyramids vary BO
greatly in size? Each was built by
some "royal personage as an enduring
monument to his administration and the
last resting place of' his remains. The
most eminent students of Egyptology
now agree -thatt the size of each of
these.pyramids is a fair measure of the
length of each king's reign. The rea
son that Cheops has the biggest pyra
mid is thatr he
hel"
theN
fuxtherthe
office longer than
others When a king mounted the
throne if, he was feeling rugged and
was what an insurance company would
call a "preferred risk" he Would block
out the foundation of a pyramid tomb
that would, require, say, ten years for
building, If, at,.the end of ten years
he was still feeling in good physical'
condition and coftfideirt of lasting a
while longer iie would "Widen the founda
tions and_ put on additional layers up
to the summit. Labor was free and
materials-were .cheap, and he kept
everybody working on.his tomb as long
as'hie lived. Finally, when the court
physicians began: to warn him that his
time was limited^ he would begin, put
ting on the outer coating of dressed
stone, aftd, arr^ng&^p^ttfee. jgiscriptions.
The ruler who laste^ 'prtly three or fpur
years was buried: in ^squatty little
pyramid, which^soon became hidden
under the drifting sands of the desert.
Cheops kept piling up the huge blocks
for thirty years,'and that is why his
pyramid holds the record. If.Me
thusaleh had been a pyramid builder he
would have been compelled to put up a
-tomb probably a mile and a half high
and about eleven miles around the base.
IiP?a revolutionary South American re-
ubKc ruler would probably get no
than layiAg the corner stone.,
-We did not climb the pyramids. Mr.
Peasley sayl he would postpone going
up until they inaugurated a lift service.
The view fPsm the top is said to be
very fine (see guidebook), but those
w.h(|i are boosted an
luggedofand
hauled
over the angulard blocks stone are
so' exhausted when they arrive at the
tpptha they cannot .see anything
We-Aecicied ft flfo to ih interior and
lpcvk... at the tomb chambers. An easy
incline ^ed up to a sort of grotto en
trance, and we thought that going in to
see these chambers would be something
like strolling into a rathskeller. Let
us quote. Mr. Peasley's own words, that
the reader may gain some idea of the
horrible experience awaiting anyone
'who undertakes the journey.
ttji
"Three men with bushy whiskers and
white Mother Hubbards got hold of me
and dragged me up to this hole in the
rock," is the way he told it to a group
at the dinner table. I told *em I
didn't need any help, but they kept
hold of me, and the next thing I knew
we were in a rathole as dark as pitch
WOULD GUT PAY AND
JODS OF CANAL MEN
Senators Favor Slashing Commis
sioners' Salaries and Oppose
Dual Positions.
"Washington, April 28.In consider
ing suggested legislation for the gov
ernment of the canal zone, the senate
committee on interoceanic canals to
day discussed the question of salaries
of canal commissioners .and incidentally
nominations pending, y. i
Several senators favored" reporting a
resolution fixing the compensation of
various canal officials at considerably
less than they are now receiving. If
Chairman Shdhts' salary, which is $30,-
000 annually, is reduced, it is expected
he will resign.' Chief Engineer Steven's
receives the same amount, but it is the
intention riot to disturb his compensa
tion.
The committee will consider the ques
tion of holding of dual positions by
canal officials. Governor Magoon- of
the canal zone is a member of the
canal commission, a member of the
executive committee and minister to
the. republic of Panama. The- com-
mittee is said to be a unit.against one
man holding so many positions.' Nom
inations of ranal commissioners will be
taken up after the question of salaries
has been determined.
Traffic Manager Walker of the
Panama railroad, has been subpoenaed
to testify befoTe the committee on
Tuesday and William Nelson Cromwell
on Thursday.
The Emperor of China has a household con
sisting of 500 persons. Including thirty bearers
of state umbrellas, an eaual number of fan
bearers, thirty physicians and surgeons, seTenty-
flTe astrologera, -eTeaty*!*^ coote- and siity
(ctiv* Page
and as hot as an oven, sliding right
down to the center of the earth. The
man in front had hold of my leg, pull
ing me along another one held me by
the collar, and the third one kind of
slid along with the rest of us and kept
up a running conversation in some
foreign language. After we had
coasted about an eighth of a mile, as
near as I could guess it off in the dark,
we struck a large boulder, and I found
myself locked In a miscellaneous em
brace or the Arabs.. Somebody lit a
candle, and I found myself sitting on
the edge of a dark hole that looked
like, the original bottomless pit. I
never saw a hole that yawned more
successfully. They hoisted me over
this and then we began to climb up
thru a long passage about the size of an
ordinary smokestack. The rock had
been "worn as smooth as glass. I had
to double up like a .iackknife to keep
from bumping my braiijs out. The, man
ahead dragged, me the one behind
kept, pushing, and the third, one some
where in the rear carried my hat and
did the talking. I don't know how far
we'went, but it seemed about a qHftrter
of a mile.
"Finally we came to a landing.!/ I
fell on my face and said I had ettotfgh.
The man with the candle turned me
over, a,D_3 a.11 three, squatted. "beei^Le me,
there In the deathlike gloom oi, that
infernal hole, far from the police, and
they wanted to know if I would..give,
them a liberal tip when we got outside.
I didn't know what they'd do if I said
'No,' so I said 'Yes,' Then they said
they were going to show me the queen's
chamber. They grabbed me again, and
this time we began to work our way thru
a' passage that seemed to be just about
as big as the inside of a stovepipe, fully
as hot and a good deal darker. I don't
know how' far they hauled me, but
when they straightened me out and
propped^ me up I was in the famous
Queen ?s chamber. They said if I
wanted to look at it they^ would burn a
piece of magnesium "and "it would cost
only 1 shilling. They touched off
the red light and I found myself in a
Spring
N
Se
Tfje RBTVRN PP TnEPYPtNf-JID.Pll.OmMd
beautiful apartment, which resembled
the interior of a freight car. There
was nothing more to be seen, so I
folded myself up and they pushed me
thru one subterranean passage after
another, only -in getting out I tobog
ganed .most of the way instead of climb
ing. When it came to the last scram
ble and I saw that little round hole of
daylight ahead of me I was so thankful
-so used up-I handed over to those
burglars all the money they asked and
then bought two imitation scarabs."
4
Mr. Peasley's account is not much of
an exaggeration. We came out all
mussed up, winded, wringing with 'per
spiration and with a new and profound
admiration for Cheops. It seems that
he constructed the interior passages
leading tjo the royal tomb chambers so^
that the vandals of coming generations,
could not possibly find their way in and
steal the royal remains. Some of
these passages are less than three feet',
in diameter and simply bored thru the
slippery rock at sharp" grades, first up.
and then down.'
In Soft or Stiff Styles.
effectsquality
Panamas Reblocked NowMost careful process, full job,
S including new band, binding and oil silk sweatband
Of course, wdien
Cheops planned these passages he did
not count on the enterprise and the per
severance of the modern tourist. To
get to these tomb chambers, which are
b\txil in. :%h.e -rxy aulaciit)ex t.la
huge mass of- rock, oalls for desperate
and wearisome exertion, and after one
arrives there is nothing to see except
blank stone walls. But, as. Mr. Peas
ley expressed it, "We don't want bo go
back home and not be able to say,'that,
we saw the whole works.'*'
Overheated and groggy, we tottered
down hill to the hotel, which stands
near the end of the car line. It is a
high-class establishment, patronized by
a sedate class of English travelers, and
here we had no difficulty whatever in
cooling off. It was one of those hotels
at which no one speaks to anyone else,
and gooseberry tarts are served for
luncheon. Here on the edge of the.
burning desert it was so frigid andj
The Headwear of Guaranteed Merit
"TH E GORDO N HAT
of jauatiness arid
fhat speak of ever in the ascendant
A New Hat for Any that is Unsatisfactory.
Featherweight\,
'\.:lJStiff Hats,
The best kind of a Journal Ifant ad- is one which is so clear an* eom-
lete that the reader will stop and think of some person It. will'Just fit If
is not personally interested he will call it to the attention of a friend. This
elves an Immense circulation to your adnot only anions the persons who
read it, but among those known to them. But the ad-must be attractive and
descriptive to Becure this attention.
character.
Minervas and
Fedoras in. 31 varieties.
MINNESOTA
H,|TOR/CAL
Part-IK:
formal' in the dining room that peopla
had tO'put icevin their claret in order o'
reduce it to the tjemper-ature of the.
room! Even Mr. Peasley, who feels
that to be cheery and .conversational:
is a duty he owes to his eUowmajijrf
crawled "back into his shell and lajf]
very quiet af^sr two large dowager*j
looking ladies began looking holes in
him with their lorgnettes.
After luncheon we went out on th
desert and warmed up again. AlsoJ
we looked at the golf links, staked ouffi
across th^ barren sandsnot to b:
played on, but merely to be featured iaj
the hotel advertisement. Think of aL'
5rivecourse
olf w^hiofa is one huge hazardIf
thie ball in any direction and youV
can't play out of the sand! Forty!
centuries gazing down on a bow-legged*
tourist in^ifuzzy'Scotch stockings 1
Most of the pleasure seekers that w*
encountered in the neighborhood of the
pyramids seemed \o be quite elderly
some of the more sprightly as young as
60, and from thai going up to where 1*
would be better to stop guessing. Mr,
Peasley gave ap explanation of thersj
presence. He said that the dry elim
inate of Egyptf would preserve antique
ties for an indefinite period, but, ofj
course, he wa just in fun when he saiqk
that. The oid folks are really entitle*
to a lot of credit for keeping on th
move when they might be expectejl to1
rest on the shelf.
Here they we're these male an*
female octogenarians, not propped up
in armchairs dividing the family silver
ware and arranging bequests to hoS'(
pitals and libraries, but.on the blinding
desert, thousands of miles from home,1
falling off donkeys, climbing up on
camels, !dervourin$c guidebooks^ rummag
ing around for timetables, kicking on
the', ehatgesj and leading on the whole a
life of purple, strenuosity. We had
if heard ..of two. .iliBgliBb. women, sisters,
botb-^iwer ru who had just returned
tirom Khartoium. from which p^mvtfcey5=f^
had gone on a Iterating expedition still
further into the inte'rior." The,y had-tp
wear 'mosquito 'bags and semi-male.- at-
tire, and were out in the wild country
for days at a time, chasing gazelles,
hyenas and other indigenous fauna.
When.the microbe of travel gets into
the human-system nothing can extermi
nate it. Once a traveler, always a
traveler-that is, if the exchequer and
the physical strength hold out. This
aching desire to pick up and go some
where is called by the Germans
"wanderlust,'* and with singular ap
propriateness, for it is a lust, an un-,
.holy pa8sion,for gadding about.- .4
Just as I am abtfut to conclude this
treatise it occurs to me that, altho I
have given a wealth of useful informa
tion regarding the pyramids, I have
rather overlooked- our old friend _th
SpnTnx. 1 cau only say in passinB
that it looks exactly like, the printea
advertisements. There is no decep
tion about it.# It is in a bad
state of repair, but this is not
surprising when we consider its age,
Herodotus does not mention the Sphinx.
It was right there at the time. In fact,
it had been there 1,400 years when he
first arrived. It seems strange that aft
observing traveler should have .over
looked a monument sixty-six feet high,
with a face nearly fourteen feet wide,
a nose five feet and seven inches lonjj
and wearing.a smile that measures ovtff
seven fee! Herodotus either walked
by without seeing it or else he did not
think it worthy of mention. The only
plausible explanation is that he wasl
too busy' figuring up the garlic statis*
tics. ,._..
St. Paul
Seventh and
Robert.
i
If you were renting: a house you
would show a prospective tenant
every desirable point, and thus In
terest him. In writing: a Journal
want ad you should do the same
thing. The results will be the same
the prospective tenant will come
to see about It Toll the whole
that wfll brine the answi