The Salt Lake tribune. [volume], January 31, 1904, Page 17, Image 17

About The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current

Image provided by: University of Utah, Marriott Library

                
The Salt JjAKZ, Tkibtote: Sunday Moknxng, Jastuatcy 31, 1904. IT
"SiR . '
U A MATTER OF AUTHORITY H I
Uby S. S. McCIuro Company )
'mT oh. yc?1 There's alius more
WSE'Quccr CUESC3 In a cow camp."
55Rlly the cook, 'an' I usually get
S??Kn chancel to look at Ihelr works
JEo'ct fellers. hPln' that I'm a Kind
!HSS i vou might wiy; an besides that
S Ws sot a tender foelln' for his
whlfh puts the idee Into his
yoojj Jo jquow himself with the Hap-
"IrU t-ihafs only a word you
'Wl give my boys good raised
?ftl!l, fl.MJaok9 l good for break -
trup Surup? Sure! I
I jt cook for an outfit that wouldn't
l A'S nas a -mipc- rent out
J? She Eit-lndlanny. I think he
4 Trom-by the Eastern people
, fcght the Circle ranch-'twas a
Eany you understand ;;n' he
fe f:l an' meddled with evory
5 ? hSlrcsJ till he had the ouillt.
JdiMohcrJrr to chami-eio bronc'
2 ft & hawmyle they d like to
:Jar ort him.
fti ." -thry don't need It no
vou c'o horse K-nse," says I, "bxit
USE1, I goln' lo have It Jf I spile the
iS? too' darn rassy nltosctner,'
Us?J "you're discharged."
?;h!U I reached out an grabbed
v Ms long nose he had a beak on
na , Ice a ret ciephant an I give her
L- , t one Maw good satlsfyln' twist,
wia to him
: Bi 'you don't, old son," says I, you
&s?i 'discharge me once in a million
to V ;j-i'-c been twice Sheriff of Tula
r an' Vc cooked under bosses
or5? Md more in thHr toe nails than
, igot In your hull body, an I'll
fa you right now. If I ketch
ipx j. pjnkeyln' around this mess wagon
B.-KI ft' sou till you'll have a hump on
v ck like a camel, too, quick. Now
T7 in aw v. like a sensible little man,
ALSd j ,j0 Eomcthln" that you'll be
for," sjy-s 1
Wicked off a pkce. just tremblln
Iqu fary. "Well. ou won't get a cent
UTt. iry-not a gol dinged cent." says
jtkln 1 la Ast at n.
SST-0 B't maJce anthln' but small bets
on that, pardnor," I says. "There's
durn few cinches on this earth, an' it I
should happen around some night with
a shotgun an' collect in splto of vou,
I ou'd feel mean for havln talked so
. loud."
An' then I gave him the grand laugh,
just as overbearln' an' dlriy as I knew
how. for I hated the Hght of him.
Holy smoke! Wasn't he mad! He
fair foamed at the mouth. He tried to
say so many things at oncct that they
got all Jammed In his throat. At last
he got clear way on, an' began to read
my pedigree.
Well, all hc know was a lot of old
fashioned cusses an' bad names, with
no particular ginger In 'cm, an' I'm al
ways wlllln' to give an excited man
room enough to "pitch" In, so I just
laughed an' quirted him up with a word
or two, until, b'gosh, he gave me the
surprise of my life.
From somewhere In that measly car
kass of his he raked up nerve enough to
yank his gun an' fire. Hc didn't miss
me by such an awful life cither, Judgin'
by the whistle that went by my car.
The minute he heard the crack of the
gun he was scairt to death. He looked
at me, then he chucked the gun away
an' flew for home an' mother.
"Well, I wasn't goln' to let him get
away with that, so 1 put after him an'
nailed him by the scruff of the neck.
As I lugged him back to the wagln I
put on a face like Bold Bill, the terror
of. Bloody Bones an' Thunder Gulch
gritted my teth, pulled down my eye
brows, an' crinkled my nose up like a
llghtin' dawg.
Vhcn 1 slid my eye around on him
he just wilted; his phiz got yaller an
shrunk four sizes.
"Are you goln' to kill me?" says hc.
"That'll be the least of your troubles,"
says I, roarin' like a bull; then I raked
my jaw tideways till my teeth creaked,
an' threw another crimp into him.
He wallered hard, an' shrunk up
more yet; his head Hopped over like a
sick hen's.
"Tell my wife write her," says he In
a voice not louder than a mice's squeak.
. T near bust out when I looked at him;
but enough o a thing Is a plentj-, an' I
sip that I'd carried that part of the
joke about far enough, If I didn't want
him to drop dead on my hands, so I
jams hif head down on the bread-boai-d
of the wagln an' reached out for a, surup
can.
"Now, you darned stingy little cuss,"
I says, "I'll give you surup enough any
how," an' poured about a pint on his
head an gaumed It all over with a ba
con rind. "Yes, an' morc'n enough,
too," say I, pullln' out his collar an'
pourln the rest of the can down his
back.
Then I gave him a brace of kicks an'
cut him loope.
"Da-day, son," says I, "an' don't you
never shoot at me ag'in, or you'll have
bad luck!"
Off he lopes for home to wash the
surup off, not Iovln' mo like a brother
any part of the time.
The boss didn't stand very high after
that. Whenever the boys looked at him,
they'd see mo pourln' surup down his
back, and that ain't dignified for a su
perintendent. He an' I got along1 by his lcavln' me
strictly alone. You see, he'd tumbled
to the fact that there wasn't anybody
to help him out, an' he dropped some oL
his little ways. He quit bullyraggln'
the boys an' acted quite decent.
Now I've got to come to the part of
the yarn I don't like pretty much. The
play came up like this:
Wc hnd a bufferlcr calf in camp that
was a great pot. Well, Buffy turned up
lost one morning an' all the boys wc re
busy. I said I'd take a scout for him
after the breakfus' things wns cleaned
up.
I had an S-dec Mr. Buff had taken to
the timber, so in I went, too, followln'
the- line of the river for easy travelin'
until I came to a little slough that
headed me off.
I knew It might he miles around It,
.in' as It wasn't over twenty foot wide I
thought I'd try to cross. In the middle
was a. sand bar. t
I picked up a pole, took a short run
an' Jumped for the bar. I landed on it
right up to my middle!
Th2 sand shook like jelly an long
waves rolled out away from me; where
St looked dry before turned wet and
greasy, an' I knew I was elected.
The quicksands on our river were the
worst in the country. T remembered
that, now that I was In the middle of
one of them.
I want to tell you that I never liked
beln' smothered- Even when I was a
kid I couldn't stand the covers over my
face, an' one of the worst fighta I ever
had was w;lth a feller that ducked me in
swlmmln". Well, sir, now that I a?
face o face with thlnkln' how it would
feel to have the cold sand creep up
creep up mo with my head r'ared back
to keep goln' as long as possible; then
the line grltln' up to my nose spite of
all I would do; then bieathln' in sand
an water an' chokin'; then no air at all
well, I'll tell the. truth. I went crar.y
an' thrashed an floundered aroun' like
a cat In a fit.
Of course, T only got sucked down
deeper for that; that's one of the real
bueatles of a quicksand the harder you
light the quicker you go down.
Then I came to, all a-sweat an'
a-shake: an' 1 says to myself: "Come,
Billy. You're a grown man this ain't
no way for you to act." An' I took
stock of my chances to get out.
It didn't take long to figure 'cm. 1
thought of everything a mnn could
think of, an' all it come to was this:
Unless somebuddy showed up I had
about an hour's dyln' ahead of me. with
as low down an' miserable a finish as a
mair that stands six foot in his s6,cks
could expect.
Then I hollered for help, you bet; an
anybuddy that heard me would know
by the sound that I'd got myself Into
pretty serious trouble. There's somc
thln' in the voice of man or animlle
that's been slammed up ag'ln the worst
of It that you can't mistake.
Pardnor, I laid back my ears an
yelled for fair, though I didn't believe
there was the least use in it, as no one
had any business within five mlle3 ot
where I was.
I could fancy I heard my call go wan
dcrln' through the woods, echoln' an
lonesome, not hndln' a llvin thing, an'
it fair chucked a freeze Into me.
I looked up at the sun. which was
shinin', warm an' pleasant, an' I says
out loud: "You're the only thing that
ses me me, Bill Hendricks dyin' here
by inches, an' you don't care a darn, do
you?" If I had a gun I'd have pulled
an' shot at It, it riled me so;
Well, sir, I'd got so cast with the 1-dce
that It had come my time to pass In,
that when I heard an answerln" whoop
I thought my ear sight was workin' a
game on me.
Then It popped into my head that
some Injuns useter hunt In the brush, so
I looked to where the sound came from,
expectln'ito see a buck heave Into sight.
The bushes crackled an' parted an
there stood that dod-gasted, shrlvelcd
up, hide-bound little supa! "Sure!" 1
thinks to myself. "Sure! Of course!
Anybuddy might have known you'd be
whore you didn't have no business to
be!" But all I said was "Hello!"
"Hello!" says hc, an' he took a step
forrud.
"Keep back! Blast, ycr skin, keep
back!" I yells.
"Why, what's the matter," says he.
Now, when I first see him I felt so
God-forsaken that I was almost glad,
but in a minute it come over me how
j foul I was fixed, an' for a man as proud
an' sassy as I'd alius been, to take help
from a galoot I'd made a long-eared
jackass of was a hard pill, an my dan
der riz. So help me. Bob! I felt like
sayln': "Nothin' is the matter: run on
about your business!" an' soln' down
like a gentleman. But before I could
say that I got madder yet at the hull
shootln' match, I lost what little sense 1
ever had an' cussed that feller red,
black and blue.
"Matter!" I winds up. "Why, I'm
stuck in this four-ply, forty-tlmcs-bc-darncd-to-hell-an'-back-ag'in
quick
sand. What of it?" says I. which waa
pretty poor play for a man in my cir
cumstances. At the word "quicksand" he stepped
back It ain't a pleasant sound but he
looked at me steady.
"I ain't much of a man from your
standpoint, Bill," says he, "but I'm al
together too much of a man not to try
my little darnedest to get you out of
this, even if you have done me dirt," he
says. "What's the first act?" or words
to that effect.
I looked at him an' he at me. Then I
thinks. "I wonder If you have got the
right sturf in you?" So I says, "Per
haps you- could feel a way out to me
it's risky, but you might make it."
"I'll try It, anyhow," says he, though
he got blue around the gills.
"Hold!" says I. "Have you got a rope
with youG" For the first question was
only to try his sand there wasn't any
sense in it.
"No," says he.
Then I see he had an ax.
"Can you drop that tree so It'll fall
near me?" I asks.
He lit Into the tree without answerln
an' say, he could swing an ax' He
knocked out chips three inches thick an'
felled the tree so true that it come dowr.
right over my head, but, of course, too
high up for me to reach.
Then hc crawled out on it an'
stretched his arms down to me.
"Shake, pardner," says I, as I grabbed
his hands, for the thing sure did have a
funny aide lo It.
Well, the tussle began, for I wasn't
out of the hole yet by adurn slghL Each
Inch I'd gain that sand would go
"su-oop!" like It was growlin' at my get
tin away; but slow an steady done It,
an' at last I was on top of the tree so
plumb tuckered-out that I shook like a
quakln' asp.
The supe started blndln up one of hlo
wrists that got pretty badly scratched
ag'in the tree.
When he'd finished, "Come with me,"
says I,
"Why," says he, "I wanted to "
"All right;" he says. "I'll come be
cause I've got to, but I'll say this, BUI
Hendricks, you might at least said
'thankee an' not started corwdln me
right away ag'in."
"It ain't your turn to talk," says I.
"Come with mc "
So back we went to the mess wagln.
neither of us sayln' a word the hull dis- i H
Whc-n we got in sight, we sec the boys ! H
stand in around wonderin' what In Sam
Hill had become of the cook and dinner,
then, when they spotted me all covered H
with mud comln' nlong with the fnipr. H
their eyes bunged out so you could liaiiv
your hat on 'em they thought the devil H
was- out on the bum. sure. H
Well. 1 hauled up an' addressed' the i
mectiu'. '
"My friend," says I, "I'll ask you all H
if I ain't alius tried to do the square ; IH
"Why, yes," says they. "You're nil
right. Billy. What's eatln you now?"
"You know what's happened betweon
this little man an' mc," I says, laying .
my hand down on the supe's shoulder
"Well, he's Just quit savin' my life this
minute; now we're goln' to fix things
H
With that I marches him over to tho j IH
mess wagln. H
"There's your can of syrup, pardner," ;
I says; "pour it in my hair." ,
He began to argue an make a fuss.
"I suppose you know who you're fool- i
(Continued on pago 2C.) jH
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