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2 THE SALT LAKE TRIBUNE, SUNDAY MORNING, DECEMBER 17, 1005.
IBj' Guy T. Viskniskki. J "There's no doubt about it the hardest I worked of ail my servant! are the fellowsy who colli ct rind deliver the Christmas eX-' press package." I Iniv-ked up, startled, from the box thnt 1 was preparing for exnrSSSsjge to the good old State of Illinois. There, before me, stood old Banta himself, l saw 'hat at a glance. And yet there wa? some thing not quite right with the old gentle man's appearance; I realized that at once, too. Then, ail suddenly, I located the dis crepancy on his hoary head, instead of the round fur cup I .had expected to see. ' was it flat viz.. red one, and tin- brass plate In front bue the legend: "St. Nick's Con solidated Express Companies." I tried not to show my wonder t.. he so Impolitr but my unexpected visitor, who rends every year the minds of countless boys and girls and never makes a mistake rts to what they want, 'way deep down in their hearts, for Christmas, found it an easy task to fathom mine. "Yes " he smiled, an mple dimple com ing Into each bronzed check, "I'm St. Nick, the ExpreSS TrUSf now I had to discard my sleigh when Uncle Sam got to having 'so many k I boys and mi ls that, try as haul as they could. 11 became utterly Impossible for Dunder and Biixen and all the rest of mv fleet-footed little friends to carry ma and my pack around to all the chimney places on Christmas Eve. Dear. llnv twinkling fed I shall ever forget the flit and last time they frilled me Thousands of good bOJ'S and girls looked 111 vain for me that year failed to catch even tin- slightest sugRes tlon of the sound of pattering deer hoofs on the roofs overhead Ah. those iiui faithful creatures tell as badly about it as th- boys and gills themselves I spent days trying to comfon Vlx n, soft-hearted little crenture that she is. and mday tears Still eom- Into her eyes when she chances to bear any of her companions recalling trie distressing Christmas of '8 Right at this point l could have svrorn there came n break in Santa's voice, and I'm sure the:.- was a mtsi befott his ryes, but I affected not to notice his deep emotion, and plelly souli dou hi l ss as i Toward for my discretion his cheery voice I began : Santa Organizes Expi ess Trust "i was determined not to disappoint anybody the next year, so months hi fore Christmas was due I went to Mr United i J Stales j.a.l Mr. Adams and Mr WellS FargO and Mr. American and Mr. National and Mr. Southern and Mr. Pacific- : hey i the men who hav given their names to the Mg express companies of the country. , you know-mnd told them what had hap pened to my poni deer the vear before j and all the chljdlah sorrow tiiat had re sulted. As ihcy are fellow-carriers of mine, they were keenly Interested in my ; ti ansporlation trouble s, of curse, anil were solicitous to know how 1 proposed remedying matters. "It was right here that I sprung my consolidation plan on them. " "Gentlemen." I said, assuming as much as my proverbial good nature would let me, the domineering voice of a great cap tain of Industry 'gentlemen, r propose to merge your respective businesses Into St. I Nick's Consolidated Express companies I for the Christmas season exclusively, and from the time the drst Christmas pack age, too large for me. to send through the malls, is ready for delivery, until the last is sent out. l propose to assume full au thority ovei the combined businesses. My term ;in' " Merry Christmas in each and every one or you and yours. Do you ac cept ? "' Santa run lied a self-complacent little smile "Mine was the most quickly formed trust on record. There was no dickering, no opposition. With one re cord, all voted my solution of the Christ mas transportation problem the only cor rect one. and my price for trust control for the season more than munificent. 1 have Mattered myself ever since that 1 mist have imitated better than I knew the tone of volci of Mr Mot of a great captain of industry, But whatever the cause of the ready ae. eptance of my merger scheme, from that day to this the hardest worked of all my servants have b en those that i employ to carry on the I Ighly important work of Bt, Nick's Con boll dated Express companies "Just let me give you an Idea or two of I Is This Fair? :3 You've dociored asd doped till you are sock of it :4 You would pay for anything that wouCd give you back your ofid vim. -. You don't want to pay out aray more money tiH2 j$ you are sure. '' j I will cure you first and you can pay me after : J vard. Is that fair? Them get in Esne. I know what I can do. because I've done it and nm doing It every day. I'm sure that Electricity Is the life, and that I can restore it where It's lost. So if you need what I offer, and don't want to risk my I Don't Pay Me U Until You Are Cured "When you do pay me the cost is less than a short season of drugging, H and how much more pleasant! You put my Electric Belt on when you HH to bed; you feel the soothing, exhilar'it log vie-,,, il..wuig Into jour R weak body, and while you sleep peacefully it lills you full of the fire of I H life, you wake up in the morning feeling like a giant. H My electric belt cures Varicocele, Rheumatism, Kidney Troubles. Lame HB Back, Sciatica, Stomach Troubles, Nervous Debility, Lost Vitality and A every indication that you are breaking down physically. Now, 1 can t cure everything. I don't claim to. and I won't take a H: rate that 1 don't feel sure of, but all these troubles Which . '.rue fiom all IHj early waste of Vitality, from dissipation of any kind, from decay of H nerve power, or from any organic stomach, liver or kldnev weakness Hl I can cure, and those are tho rases I am willing to tackle and take the. H chances on. I'm curing them every day. HH rnPF n f r r vt sot bsautifui t."..k. run r.r good, iM.n- M f lp - Ti II IK. loJlc l,ow """ rs mod bl and nr,- 1 a I flw Uv vl '' ""' I'll send u to you free, sealed, if vou H thin H DR. M. T. McLAUGHLIN, 931 16th St., Denver, Colo, ' how hard these loval fellows really work for nie. 'There are my men In the PpstOfflCS de partment, just by Way of comparison you must surely have heard that Uncle Sum and ! regularly enter into a Chrlst 11 as season partnership, he 10 look after tho customary commercial business and ' 1 to give my attention to the Christmas ; end. Well, there's a regulation In the department that 1 haven't had the moral courage to rescind as yet It's awful to get those civil service fellows, buzzing like hornets around your head which j says that a postman Can't work longer than so many hours, no matter how many good boy and girls ma) h depend ing upon them for their heart-'' desires. The result is. t've slmpl) got to give h postman from ottC to six substitutes, In order to get the Merrv Christmas 1 send i through the malls delivered right side .111 I with care. "'Of course, the pOStOftlCS fellows w..ik much harder than usual while the) work j and ap do ail tin- men and women In my I big department Stores, and the army I keep busy right up to the last minute turning but millions of dolls anJ tin sol diers and drums and ail the other hue things for Christmas !. kings. Bui what I'm getting at is this not one of all these many, many willing and hard workers in my causa Jabor without rcsf, without ceasing, for the Ihre. and '.m days right before Christmas as do my Consolidated Kxpress boys. "it's an actual fad that In the hlg cen ters New York. Chicago and the like these men. during this period, do no, the proverbial forty winks even. I know it sounds cruel," the speaker hastened to say, while a fhade of anxiety came uv. r his rotund face "bUl I have It to you, ! wouldn't It he far. far more cruel to dis appoint again a lot of good hovs and girls as I did in 'OB?" I nodded Vigorously, the lolly twinkle sprang hack Instantly into Santa's eyes, and .... a... , m. Santa's Caie of the Expie;-s Man. I "Of course, do all I can to lighten the burden. In the .Ww York City division I for example, when my Express trust Is i no I operative Mr. United States employs about JLon nu n. all told. Whan I take i charge of the whole express situation, the payroll of this one subsidiary com pany for this particular division Is dou- I bled straightway, and the number of j wagons and trucks rise from to 175. ! Each of the thirty-five office forces Is in- i creased by the addition of four clerks, a driver Is not Infrequently given three and tour helpers Instead of , and tn plal form forces the men who load and un- I load the express curs attachM to pas senger trains, and the express car trains I exclusively, at the railroad terminals In Jersey City and Eiobokeri are doubled i:." platform nu n I, coming 300 al the smaller piatf oi ni "Then, while I've got strict orders to let no precious Time be Wasted III sleep, I dO feed the men up Until, fOI all the gr Si Strain put upon them. I'm sometimes ! fearful that the whole lot Of them are on the verge of possessing bellies that will rival mine for rotundity and Jelly-like I shaking w hen i ,, laugh Here thai famous portion of Santa an I atomy gave ah exhibition of it- pet I powers until I. In turn, was fearful leu! j the resultant waves of motion should i shake i.i . good wife's treasured orna ments off the mantelpiece. Hut just as I k thought a line bit of Bohemlun glass was getting ready to totter to destruction, the Old gentleman managed m gain control of h.s middle by i lasplug It tightly In hi two stocky arms and. after a dslightl il little chuckle, resumed the thread of his conversation: "I don't care who lie is terminal agent, bill-maker. bill-maker's caller, driver's helper, platform man, route. marker, thr agent himself, who Is const-mtlv on hand , In the height of the rush anrl In direct charge every man is fed at the 1 onsoll i dated Kxprss company's expense In s : convenient restaur.) nt. 1 Insist on the best of food bring furnished Naturally thr hill Is large but plentv of good f.....i k.-. jis men on their f.r, r.rp from tlv-lr brains, I work in thir hands and desln for strong drink at a safe distance. I "Hut I'm convinced that the chief thing that enables the Express trust boys tti keep at It steadily for Lhrcc and four dayi at a u retch wltiio.it stealing o(T to the 1 seductive t'alui of King NI,-.ht-o' - Dreams Is the Christmas spirit. Mr. United Stute, Mr. Wells-Fargo. Mr. Kiclll.. and th- i rent believe su. too you see. i keep them I In direct charge of their respective s b- . sldlary companies, so thi y ought to know. I daresay you know how vou ran get yourself worked into the SPlrlt Of an or- , (Unary piece of work'' w.-ii. lu-rt- is work on the correct and swift performance of I which tin- happiness of 8 nation's good , boys and girls qspcnda AnJ U 'her.- in . -j thing more easy or delightful to be pos- i sesssd of ihun tin- ChVlstntas pplrlt?" 1 shook my head; old Santa looked OUt Ward)) pleased, as he eVidetith WS In wardly and. With his ludicrOUSI) fat and ' stumpy hands folded coiit.-iii -di v on llu peak "f his pa inch, rattled on; "Tlie old drivers and helpers and plat , form men. and who not. become ihor oiighly saturated with the spirit with the commencement of mv riirisimus business, around tin- first or December. Then, a new men are taken on. my misled aides see to It that they are set to work in tWOS and threes and fours bet Wee 11 old hands, who not only keen the newcomers up to the work In hand, but eDcOuragS them with words Oi chrlstma cheer as the giat press of freight or loss of Sleep, or breaking banks, make strong spirits droop; Thus, they are buoyed up until they, top, are imbunl with the Christmas spirit .it the height of tho rush, and work as if all the boys and girls In the count r were their very own dear bpys and girlfl and not entire si rangers to them Andi do y oi! know. ' pronounced Santa "no one Is ever O.UjtS Idled with the slmon-pire Christmas spirit till he works hard and long to give SOme besides himself happiness'.'" The Enormous Business D.:nc As he paused he gave emphasis to h!'' words and removed his -ap and critically scrutinised the number It bore "l!Kv" "My thO way." he said, "that reminds me I haven't given you an Idea of the enormous business that the Consolidated Express companies do. 1 can't give you the fig ires tor the entire cduntry Just now my mind is so full of figures con nected with that twentieth order for ten million drums and as many dolls that I gave this morning to my vnrlous fac tories, nm it will suffice to say that when .Mi. United States i running GOO offices to suit himself and I'm dividing toy time between resting and getting in shape for another Christmas, he handles at one of his two New' ork ''ltv terminals from 16,000 to 20,000 expr.'ss packages per day. K.it when I in It what aie you so shocked about" I've heard many a good boy anu girl say tlutty-ten times that number Is handled In as many hours. The syxtem by which the work is done si ems simple Is slmpl'-. The hard work comes In keeping the system from break ing down under the strain 1 pill It to In my efforts to have filled the stockings of all my hoys and girls before the Sand Man units pouring sand on their eyelids early on Christmas morning. 'Trains are unloaded ns last as they come in Express -a:s attached to regu lar passenger trains are unloaded In the stations. Express car trains, composed exclusively of from nine to sixteen ix press cars and sent through from big city to big city, are run alongside cov ered platforms, and as the precious Christmas cheer Is taken out by the plat form men it is scattered along the plat forms In piles ac Ordlng to tlie various wagon routes which it must take to be safely and quickly delivered Then driv ers and helpers check one another by loading wagons other than their own. and off tin wagons roll to be hack again for fresh loads as soon as circumstances will permit In New York city all pack apes for boys and girls who live below Fifty-ninth street are delivered direct hy wagon. Above Fifty-ninth street I facil itate matters greatly by having most of the pack&ges hauled to the various ex press stations above that street on the surface street car lines and the elevated D ' railroads, and from th e stations they are distributed hy wagon Collecting- Gifts From Sr.nta's Shops. ' in sending express packages out of a , big city, say Sew York, every onu ot my 1 drivers has his own route tor collection. , The size of a route vuiies. or course, ac cording to Where I have my stores and home workers. Around this time of year one or my big department suites !s a route so big a i utile that it's all one wagon can do to hSndle the business. Below Fifty-ninth street i let Mr. United Slat's haul the outgoing Height I loin over to him to a relay station hit the east side or the island near the Hudson river. I Here his express service on the elevated lines brings toe packages collected by wagon above Fifty-ninth street ami left by them t the various stations. And ail the good things that reach the relO) de pot are at once loaded Into wagons that p!v only between It nnd t he terminals on the New Jer.se;,- shore. There every pack age Is billed, si.rt.il as to towns anu ill- legj and, a fast as express iars are avail able, started post haste IptO the interior, "And you should see thr way the dolls and drums and candles arid a UtOTnobilfS and. oh. every thing that s nice to Have around Christmas time, sr loaded. At his two terminals Mr. I nlied States ha nine sidings available These hoi.i forty- , two express cars nine rows of thani' The doors of all the cars are opened, plat- j forms conned all the doorwayr, and over them 'he platform men stream In and out of the cars all at once. They carry big packages for the best boys and girls in their aims or on trucks. They wheel . smaller packages Into the cars In rrat wicker hampers apablr of holding hap piness, for BOO Or 6W children. ,;d the automobiles and horses that I send nrnv- adays to the young ladles that still be llcve In me go in under their own steam. Hut the sleight i've men ulr.trlbullr.g a ( lot since i haven't beaded them in my . work ai e heaved In, trucked In, got In, gornc way. ""inns there are two unbroken streams of freight, one Incoming the other out- I going. Small wonder, therefore, that at this time of year the great platforms. W j and 7ml feet long and thirty ,,,n forty feet 1 wide, are plied high with Christmas gifts, great and small frequently making solid masses or packages ten ami twelve r-et high, with the exception of course, of a few narrow working aisles running here and I hci . . The Greatest of Three Wonders. "But a gr.-nr, wonder Is tills that there Is never a let-up In the apparently ' hopeh m battle to keep ahead of the two tides of packages, though tl i ie laxSd to the utmost. Ami the greatest s der h la, that hy noon of Christmas day. tin last of the 'chicken feed' that's what the men Jocosely call the small gifts has ben put Into the wagons and a merrv Christmas thereby assured to the 1 tv .tiniest or all my good boys and girls. "Yes," pursued Santa, speaking as ir 1 to himself "I've done all possibly can do to make the task at light as possible 1 even prpay all the Consolidated Kx press company's business and thai s .i pretty leg drain on th old man's pscket DOOk. But there's one thing 1 wish I were able to do. and that's to make all my home worker, tie up the packages 1 Intrust to their care so they'll carry. I almost lose tpv temper when I see hi:;i- dreds of precious bundles of Christmas cheer put up with only pins or frail bab: blue ribbon.-. II s the grossest sort negligence, ami positively against in or ders hut It's physically Impossible for no to be everywhere at once So al ever) expre.-s terminal and b!g ofHce I have a package hospital and I lot of valuable 1 time is wasted In doing over the work of many Of my vvrl! meaning hut careless home assistants. Still. ' and the con tagious smile relighted the old gentle man's face, "my men get the work through In time, for all the poorly tied packages, so I mnsn't be too hard on any I one, especially at this time or year. Santa the Expressman. "Well, fasten down the lid or thai box. Ys, I've com.- for it myself. There's a doll In It a big. wax doll, with golden curls for a very, very good little girl down In Egypt, 111 Oh, no matter bow I found that out! You Just hurry up with that lid you Know I personally collect nnd forward and deliver those express packages that have anything in them ror the very best of all my good boys and girls. Thai's it drive that last nail home so that precious doll won't he In danger or getting out Of her box and having the bloom scraped off her dimpled cheeks: And now good duv sir -and. hy the way. when a tired looking chap with a heavy box In his arms, appears at your front door on the morning of the J4th or t the great day Itself. It might not be i bad thing I say It might not he a bad thing to wish him a merry Christmas. " By this time the stocky old gentleman, an edgr of the bo;; si.nk deep in his Paunch, had reached the doov. The 00X1 Install 1 he had tOSSed his burden into his already heavily laden great wagon he sprang lightly to the seat and as he took up the re,, is nnd was off. there ram A me through n jolly burst of ughtv and above the found of his swirtlv mnv. Ing i orsi f frn ; ' ",UJ "Merry chrlst-mas! Mer-ry ChrlfV mas!" Opy right. IMS hv Mrriur. Phillip, a qJ Ghost cf English Manor. A curious ghr.st stnrv Is told by the SB r :pirr or the Manor Hous", Kriareaboi ough. a -harming old mansion, parts which date hack to thr- rarlv davs of th thirteenth century. Thr occupier, A. llrw-rn. recently restored th" building, an 1 '. c ti.o li'eTatCins the skeleton of w-r.man was found under one of the stsl nses and it Is this discovery that hasll Mr HOWS! to tell his story. J He says tl.. r.- Is something about tl building that cannot he explained. Fori merly he and his wife occupied the. blul room, in which stands an old oak. beds stead, on which Oliver Cromwell bQjl slept. This room, like thr others, Is apWfl didly paneled and has a cupboard. sjkflH was formerly a priest's hole, or htfHf I:... r .incealed by a spring door. During th- night sounds of footstepsB I'.-anl on the tnrdlng, and Mr Howes ssfl !- Impossible to Keep the door of iH i iom closed "W have linked It arid, n chair against It. and In the morning I i- .- rn-u u I, T'nere are no draugjH to account for ti e opening of the doB Since we have moved out of this ro footsteps have still been heard, and occasion thev weie acrnmpanlcd aaH I. .'i bump on the door of our prescfl room." ii .v. J... mi th stibiect'fl th.H !th-r fie sH i. NH ..I. lined, or Indeed beUsssI lln- ? ipern.Hni.il. but after flfflj s' exjierlence of the house they aM i ,i at .i lo.is i . account for the aoundB Oliver's gbtsHJ he remarked, "but r, we say It Is IV woman whose skeleton we found." ci l ha . . v ir-ited tflj lin'i".. iiid her- leane d :iom. of the TsHJ shire dialect who ii an pears In his itorw "Th.- R, s Ti le." it is believed tofj lh ho ise In England In whlch staoH an original roof tree In this case All st with Its roots still PJ i ei . s through the Ultihen up tdj bedr. j.. m win-re It Is cut short belngpB long for the support of tit i nd Is used a a small table for flj hi. ii. i s .-'ii k ljndon DaU Chronicle. SJ HALF RATES For Christmas Holidays Via Oregon S ' -i on sgl Dociinbi IjO.i. ga Jut ii...'. 1. i'.e.. th.al icturn limirJsH y .1 See any (Irerii, Short Line aggfl i.i iirihej i.aiticulats. 'lty Ticket fjH flee "01 Main Bt 9 Py : f If .m.i r WHO ApE IN NKKi OF A SPECIA1 1ST W ' ' ' ; ME FIRST, VOU Wll.l. Not HAVE SQ MAVV U' c-'o't Bii.I. " -?M Thirty Years in Salt Lake, y and IS ST. EUIVSO HOTnL, , MICROSCOPIC AND ANALYTIC PHYSICIAN bf; Tho Old Reliable Spec I.i list. J fig Thlrtj Years' Experience in the Tritmeni of chn ; Sexual Discuses. ; WOMEN All diseases peculiar to Women sac-. .-: i tr- .it- -I hy' the use trgetable remedies and electricity No nauseous drugs. YOL'NG MEN Suffering from the erTects of youthful folii.s or Indi.scretlon who are troubled with Seminal Weakness, n.-.-.-ou ii. ni.uv. i. of Momor, Despondency, Aversion ,.. Society, Evldnej Troubles (fi.eoi-hoi . ;!- strict uts Syphiiiu or any disease of tht Genlto-I'rlnar: Org any " !;'r' 1 1 " , an speed cure Charges reasonable, e',-pocijiiiy to 'th poor. cure-. g.i;irantefci. jsssssjb MIDDLE-AGED MEN There arc m b -d with lo, - -f mi.i1 powaJJ; too freqne.it eacUatlons of the bladder often -icconipam ! bv -'!-'" -mnr.ing , burning sensation and weakening of the system in n ninnner the natl"iit cannj, . account for There arc main me,, who die of this difficult v . Ignoraul 0 the au"Pw, which l the second stage of seminal weakness. The t'oclor will c.nir-.intci a pemywt fret cure ln nil such ense. and K health . i of the genlto-tirir.ary SUgi gans. Consultation free Send ror Question Liar, free saV? An Classes of Pits cured. Tapeworm- I vvit'i h-. .1 er no psVt' Cotii' i .Main and Third South streets, si. Elmo Hotel. BK