OCR Interpretation

The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, March 24, 1912, Magazine Section, Image 39

Image and text provided by University of Utah, Marriott Library

Persistent link: https://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83045396/1912-03-24/ed-1/seq-39/

What is OCR?

Thumbnail for

I i
lOhc BST
jft ft" 'I .Tfegaa
'KBdoor closed softly. It vras some min
JRtttt before the man at the desk looked
'JH.iip from the pile of letters he held.
IjlR' "Clifl" he exclaimed. "You hoTe'J"
j-K other, a 3'outh of 18, stood silently he
jflkim, one hand still on the knob of the
'MfHis lips trembled and tears tdione in
3Bu. They were brothers.
Rb discharged, ' ' sobbed the youth, sink
Ijflrfo a chair, crossing1 his arms on thu
jraphcr-'s slide and sobbing-like a child.
' vjHupression in the deep gray eyes of
'o'jfca at the desk grew tender, and he
Hr. placod. his arm over the shaking
fliers of his younger brother,
j Jfctne,'' he said. "Tell me about it."
!fcera'8 not much to tell," sobbed the
-jVc "My first month would have been
jHiorrow, and T " Ilis sobs intcr-
IjiiHlhiiB. After a time he continued.
HjBiwsi like this. There was n man that
jjfcllinfj round, and the boss got tirod of
Bmlng, and told mc to tell him next
K came that he was out. I can't He,
8IKtoaldn;t bo a liar; so when tho man
ij jfln in next time, I just said the boss
iS't see him. "When ho asked me why
,,'iRnered out something, and then he
j DM right into the inner office unan-
idiWifi boss hlcvr Ine UP sky high when he
OjgjKt me after tho man had gone, and I
.dm1 straight out why T hadn't told the
' tBwdm I couldii 't. Kc got red in the
'MjflBuid told me that a fool knew moro
WHjKbnHiness than 1 did, and that a fool
BB3ke a better business man, and then
i fRmy grip ou myself and said a i'ool
Rfffre tho fool a liar,
th that he flew up and said he wasn't
'loftsB? being called a liar by a sniveling littlo
D&SK resn rom Sunday school, and sent
i6HyJfJ?ookkeeper and paid me off, and "
. 'Jfwn reached down into a lower drawer
MdEsk' 8eIccted a cigar, lighted it, and
BljflBtome moments in silence, watching the
tafiiWrt smoke drift up towards the ceil-
VM1''" lle Sll!1 fina,I3" '"you did strike
m'fjovr of stumps for a beginner." He
laid his cigar down and leaned back in the
groat leather chair. "Tour beginning and
mine wore pretty different. 1 wasn't, loaded
down with morale when T started in, bnt ac
quired them with old age. I'll never forget
my first .iob. J kuow just about as much
about work as you do about dishonesty. 1
was good nJid green from college, and college
ean give a man about, as thick a coat of
verdancy as any place I know of, anyway,
if he expects to rub up against the money
"My idea of getting a job was to have
plenty of letters of recommendation, so I
got enough to bury mo. Tho faculty gave
mo one, our family doctor and all of father's
friends. I found that thoy were about as
cosy to catch as the measles, and nearly as
useful. You can no more tell a man's char
acter by the letters he presents than you can
toll the character oi' a cheap restaurant by
the menu chalkod up on tho board in front.
" Well, when T found there was a vacancy
in the office of a concern that my father had
had some dealings with, I weut to 'apply.' I
trembled as I sat there in the private offico
and began to realize that it's not as easy
as it looks to dinkey a mau into giving you
the place. The man was 'self made,' with
tho brand yelling at you. I was supposed to
be a stenographer, as I had taken a cor
respondence course minus the study,
"There's no better way to learn stenog
raphy than to take one of those courses if
you'll buckle down and make good, bnt T
wasn't that kind. I had tho theory down to
a fine edge, but. had no more practice than
an eight months' lawyer.
"I was sitting acrons the desk from the
man about like you arc now, and the ques
tions ho put to me would make a civil serv
ice examination look simple. I answered as
best 1 could, and what I didn't know J
guessed at and T .don't believe ho know tho
difference. ! informed him what a great
thin" 1 was. and how 1 'd mastered the curves
and"t.inv circles quicker thy auv man on
ScorS. "I told him of the smooth flowing
hand I wrote, and how I was this and
wasn't" that, and wouldn't be the other,
but 1
the proper kind of talk for him and that lie "A customer came to smile on mc and I j jfif ft J fill I I II j flffif
would expect great things from me. Then T had two hours moro to play with the ma- j i Ivllf ,affTr I J U j I fl If I 99l'
knew 1 had hooked my fish, but after Hie chine, finally tho buzzer rang mc up, and j J I lJ-JJ f 1 f ) f-7 III 'Ill yd liKi
hook is well iu the trouble comes in laud- he gave me a list of about five huudrod ' fl jllj ft , till mW
n2 envelopes to address. As you know,! write a , 1 1 fl H , , I Hlf 'SI wHll
"Ho asked mc what. machine I used, and fist, like a mackerel, and the pen I had to jjllH: I f A tJf fill1
1 think I said MtsCormick 's. 'JIo said ho'd use scut a splutter of blots before it as .1 J jlf fl It - WKu'
never heard of it, and wanted to know about pushed it across the page. The bookkeeper " I 111 J I U AHlj
the keyboard. J said it was rather peculiar, -was at dinner, and I didn't know where to " II I I ' jHflj
but T could soon get on to his. I'd never rind a new one. I wish T had one of those . f I I V ' wH
touched a typewriter in my life! Tho confab envelopes to show you now. :y. -' J j ', " .. -'V Ui
ended with an invito to call around Monday "The boss passed through the office after ' MM
prepared for work. I had about f i ttj- addressed and stopped to J ' ) MM;
'"I turned up bright and early first of the look over mv shouldor. I heard him whistle I --
"He began to bo impressed and told nie the
salary was small to begin with, but at this T
.-just shrugged my shoulders and told him the
salary was nothiug to me; .just wanted to
show him what I could do. He said that was
the proper kind of talk for him and that he
would expect great things from me. Then T
knew 1 had hooked my fish, but after the
hook is well iu the trouble comes in laud
ing. "Ho asked mn what. machino I used, and
1 think I said MtsCormick 's. JIo said ho'd
never heard of it, and wanted to know about
the keyboard. J said it was rather peculiar,
but T could soon get on to his. 1 'd never
touched a typewriter in my life! Tho confab
ended with an invito to call around Monday
prepared for work.
"I turned up bright and early first of the
weok and brought along a 5-cent note book
and pencil. T remember tho bookkooper
nudged the office boy and they laughed as I
took ray seat before the machine and care
fully lifted the carriage. ticked the typo
up and down once or twice, and then had to
ask. how to put the paper in.
"The bookceper was my salvation! Ho is
down in my list of saints. I've also got him
hired in the offico outside. I know a good
man when I sco him, and that bookkeeper is
one of tho best. He sat there for an hour
and taught me all about the running gear of
the machine, the cleaning, and gave me a
general idea as to fingering.
"Whan I took my seat again I was well
aware that thero were sonic thiugs that T
still had to learn. When the boss bolted
through to his littlo den J was iust able to
knock off 'Yours truly' correctly and was
proud that I could do it so noon. 1 must have
written twenty pages of Tours trulys,' aud
tho boss spoke of 'now well 1 was getting on
to the combination of the new machine. This
was my first compliment, and J. blush to say
I took' it.
"A customer came to smile on mc and I
had two hours moro to play with the ma
chine, finally tho buzzer rang mc up, and
he gave me a list of about five huudrod
. envelopes to address. As you know, 1 write a
fist like a mackerel, and the pen I had to
use scut a splutter of blots before it as .1
pushed it across the page. The bookkeeper
was at dinner, and I didn't know where to
find a new one. I wish T had one of those
envelopes to show you now.
"The boss passed through the office after
I had about fit'tj addressed and stopped to
look over my shouldor. I heard him whistle
softly, and then looked on, saying not a
word while I addressed about fifteen. Ho
said ho wished he had timo to stay longer
and, watch me do it, bnt would doubtless have
timo to do so later. Then ho reached over my
shoulder and tore up tho whole lot I'd ad
dressed, and kindly suggested the typewriter
as being an easier way of doing it.
"The bookkeeper returned and found me
nearly in despair, and agaiu he rescued mc.
I read off the names and he addressed, and
when the boss returned there was a neat pile
on his desk, and ho spoko of how quickly 1
had done tho work, and how neatly, and I
lied without saying a word.
"Well, that was my last lie, tho vory last!
At nights I was studying, really studying on
that course iu shorthand, wrong. The lies T
had told the boss on tho first day wero held
up before mo with every look he gave me. I
found he was making inquiry for another
mn ii , and all hope left me.
".lust before the beginning of the next
month, and J was suro to lose out then, the
boss was suddenly and seriously taken ill,
and I had to stay it out for another month.
There was nothing much doing in the office
for myself or the bookkeeper, so ho sot in
to help a drowning man, and I learned
"By the time tho boss got back I was able
to write a fairly decent letter but lie I'd
have died before I'd told one. When my
friends asked me was I secretary or ."hist
stenographer, I told them I was an incom
petent office boj', and didn't even lay claim
to filing clork.
"So this is the way I found the policy of
honesty aside from the question of right and
wrong was well worth tho while. I don't
think in fnet T know I haven't told a lio
since, and it pays most certainly. So just
stick to it, kid, and you'll como through all
"Thero may be some men who want a dis
honest man in their office, but thoso men
find that it's no cinch to koep one cyo on the
correspondence and the other eye on the
money drawer. There is not time" for both, aE
Be honest, and you command the respect of Hoi
every one, but " Ms!
Ho paused and puffed some moments in HI
"It was a hard lesson for yon, but I'm glad WHp
yon wore discharged. It's opened your eyes Hi
to some things, and it'll help yon in business. IK
And It shows what's in you, too. EBf
"Now, I've still got that vacancy I told WK
you about after you took your last job. Hf!
It's not much to bogin with, bnt if you're BBlj
half the man I think you and half the man His
you 'vo shown yourself to be, we may be able AB$
to raise the salary n triflo before tho century Bf
grows too old. HHhi
"Go on now, stick to it, and remember wKm
that T'm bossing this joint, and yon 're spo- Sfln
cial clerk in the honesty department." JHIIu
He turnod again to tho pile of letters he-
1 Pictures by Albert Levering fl
i JpNew Fable of
fm ultures
lflho Never
Sjere Fed.
ME there was a Handsome
BKB?g Who was strong with
uue cxcePt the Moth"
& Was commonly reputed
r Ba'8 lnv:i wors Enemy, l!or he
' C ith thc Eum anrl rollcd
jjjwnes and loved to greet jo-
B when it stood tip-toe on
Mountain-Top. He was
pur most consistent little
Iwved by a Nice Girl, of spot
.Jmtn0n ancl lni'Se trusting
?1 hei .FpmmhIs i!ormed a
roilKl her and did the Ilam
iKj11 H,c -Awil but when the
.IB'Bg Scamp hunted her
' P,n and .-ailed her Little
- s'd she looked awful
S 5 him and smoothed hack
,mm', she forgot the Solemn
n M!&gs and did thc Cuddle.
.'Hp0"08 and gnvo him any
rroni One Week to 90 Days
might Trilby back on
JR'c arc not all Hooters, no
flK V'"at Jbscn says, aaid the
euit settled right down as a Carpet-Slipper
and Feed-the-Furaace
Push-the-Lawn-Mower Husband.
Worst oi: all, he became a con
firmed Wife-Lover, the most con
temptible oi" all Human Beings,
next to thc One who cats Graham
Crackers in Bed.
The Prophets who had put up
all the 24-Sheets killing his Down
fall were so Peeved that thoy
barred him from the Duplicate
Whist Club.
Moral: The dutiful Husband
can be found ouly in ReaL Life.
Tkc New FaMe of the
Two Brothers, trie Even
Start and thc Cqntrait
ing Termini.
ON a Flag Station the Job of
Telegraph Operator is about
the Limit of Earthly Ambi
tion. .
Therefore two 'Boys living in a
weedy Hamlet began to hang
around the Depot and learn the
Morse Alphabet.
In due time each bocame a reg
ular .Railroad Man with Calico
Sleeves and a Tooth-Brush in his
upper Vest Pocket.
They were transferred to thc
Junction and began to nave deal
jm,s with the Old Man himself
and cuss when No. 6 balled up
the Schodnlc. t
Bein" quick on the Trigger and
good at sizing up Men, they got
Worst Of All, He Became a Oonfinncd
into the Operating Department
and each had a Card-Case full of
One accepted an Offer to go up
into Canada and crack the Whip
over n Line being projected by
British Capitalists who were loo
well-bred to get out in their Old
Clothes and prod the Help.
The other remained in the Land
of his Birth to push an Extension
into the Northwest.
Each delivered the Goods in his
own Bailiwick spanning the tur
bulent Streams, filling the deep
Hollows, boring through the Hills
and bringing a new Empire out of
the lonesome "Wilderness.
When the Gauk who had been
transformed into a Canuck
cleaned up on the big Assignment,
the Directors gave him a Dinner
and thc King sent for him to eome
up to the House and kneel. on one
Knee aud be dubbed the Earl of
Thc Brother wanted to attend
the Ceremony, but he had to send j
his Regrets as he was in Jail at
the time.
jMoral : Only a few receive Ti
tles, but many are Indicted.
Trie New Fable r tke
Brask Parent and tnc
Tell-Talc Tin-Type.
ONCE there was a worried
Parent whose ouly Son could
not quite make up his Mind!
whether to join a High School
Frafc or go on the Stage.
He was at the long-legged Age
and walked Loose and stepped on
his own Feet' and whenever he
walked briskly across the Floor
to ask some Tessie to dance with
him. every one crowded back
against the Wall to avoid getting
one on the Shin.
Ho combed his Hair straight
back, like a Sea Lion, and in Zero
Weather wore a peculiar type of
Low Shoe with a Hard-Boiled Egg
in thc Toe.
His overcoat; was of Horse
Blanket material with w Surcingle
and thc Hat needed a Hair Cut
and a Shave. When he topped off
this Mardi Gras Combination with
a pair of Yellow Gloves that
sounded like a Cry for Help and
went teetering down thc Street,
his Father would vent Delight
over thc Fact that the Legislature
had passed Game Laws.
One day at Luncheon Father
got so Steamy that he had to blow
off. So he opened up on Son and
practically wiped him off the Map.
He sure burned him Alive.
He kidded the whole Make-Up
and said he was the Male Parent
of a Champion Gillie, whatever
that is. Putting Son on the Oper
ating Table in front of him. he
proceeded to dissect him, Stem by
Stem, in the meantime displaying
his Aptitude for thc Rough School
of Humor.
He said the Hat was a Scream
and the Overcoat was a Riot and
the over-lapping Collar with the
dinky Kour-in-Ilaud was a Comic
Supplement and why had such a
Freak been wished ou to a hard
headed Business Man.
He laughed brutally at the low
comedy Shoes with the swollen
Promontories and the Trousers
with the double Reef and the fold
iug Cuffs and the Hair with thc
Pa tent-Leather Gloss.
Mother sat back tapping her iBl
Foot and trying to hold in, but Bfflfl
she was Sore as a Crab, for she nil
loved her Lambkin. infl
Finally she could not stand it 3w
any longer, so she rushed to Bou- Mm
doir jmd produced from Bureau Wmt
Drawer the Tin-Type which Papa Wm$-
had slipped to her just 8 weeks 'Mil'
before they faced the Justice of Warn
the Peace at Akron, Ohio. flMI
It was the True Likeness of a fflffl
Male Hyena whose Hair was HE
combed low on the Forehead iuto Ural
a gummy and passionate Cow- uRnl
He had one of those Gates Ajar BWI
Collars that was primarily intend- imnl
ed to display the Adam's Apple in ffiffsl
all of its naked Splendor. k9B
The Shirt was ruffled thc same- Swf,
as the Lingerie in a Book Adver- jHflt
tisement and the Watch Chain was IhB)
of Human Hair, which, is now re- :l9K
garded as a Penitentiary Offense. 'SR
The Boutoniere was a Carna- Bfflf
tion against a Leaf of Geranium fj gf
with Tin Foil below, whioh is no IS If
longer being done in the Besfa fj
The form-fitting Trousers led 5 1!
gradually up to Congress Gaiter iufil
pointed on the End like Nut f ffil
Father took one Peek at Ehib ; fljjl jl
it A and then gave Albert a Vj )Wn f
and iold him to hunt up some oJ HI i 111
his Boy Friends and take them to jj htjU
a Matinee at the Orpheuni. : Mm
Moral: Whatever you may be rP'H
vour Parents were more so at-ik l 'tl ,fl
same Age 1 M

xml | txt