The Salt Lake tribune. [volume], September 08, 1912, Magazine Section, Image 36

About The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current

Image provided by: University of Utah, Marriott Library

                
H , THE SALT LAKE TRIBUNE SUNDAY MORNING, SEPTEMBERS. 1912.
5 "Whenever the lobster tried to throw ''. ' ' ; 'v ; . .' JT ' "1,
ch&mpaQ bottle at Mr. Brady he . ?; ' : T
i'NAMJIMS"!
1 $25 WO STOMACH 1
i How New York's Champion Lobster
Palace First - Nighter and Every- ,
j Nighter Went Down Before Broad -
way Lobsteritis, and How Science
! Has Girded Him Afresh for the Fray
fY-V IAMOND JIM" BRADY, so efful
H J gent an aurora of Broadway
JL that whenever he enters a
New York lobBter palace, of which he 1b
dean and patron saint, he glitters' like an
Iceberg In the land of the midnight sun,
has a brand new stomach, and for this
choice bit of bric-a-brac he paid $250,000.
All this has recently been told In pub
lie prints. But now comes the ''whys?"
and "hows?" and "what fors?"
i Lobsters did it Plain lob b tors; that
Is, they were plain until served both
live broiled and Newburg to Mr.- Brady.
Everybody knows "Diamond Jim" suddenly
discovered that his noble stomach refused
to work for him in a safe and sane
manner, that is, sulked and kicked and
growled and bit and scratched and fought
until he went to Johns Hopkins Medical
College in Baltimore where the great sur
ceonB made him a brand new stomach.
BV But how many people know it took
seven thousand six hundred lobsters to
ruin his epicurean Btomach, which for so
many years was eternally adorned with
vunset vests and glittering diamonds?
"If Mr. Brady had been a drinking man
be never would have lived through it,"
i said the physicians. But "Diamond Jim"
doesn't even drink tea or coffee.
Of course the lobster must stand the
greater share of the blame, but careful
research into Mr. Brady's remarkable
S gastronomic history brings to light that
rJ other things also assisted the 7,600
lobsters in getting his stomach so peevish
It cost him a quarter of a million to re
store Its good humor.
According to statisticians, who have
: j( been figuring on the scores of years
V "Diamond Jim" Brady has been daily, and
f sometimes oftcner, dining in the great
Hr k i lobster palaces along and around and
I ; about the Great White Way. both in
I i lonely grandeur and with largo parties of
V. all sorts of people, from chattering show
J girB to Bolcmn-visagcd millionaires such
I statisticians declare that something like
the following is responsible for tho de
fl : structlon of one perfectly good stomach,
the proud possession of Mr. Brady:
Lobsters 7,600
. j Nude clams .'.....42,000
Shrimps .16,000
i Soft-shelled crabs, ...".. ..21,000
j Escargots 18,000
Welsh rarebits 1,938
Golden bucks 752
Blue points ...32,000
fl Worcestershire sauce 8 gals.
Hl Tabasco .... .......3 quarts
Paprika . lbs.
Mustard ,..-......4 lbs.
Ketchup , 12 gals.
-j Gastronomically speaking, tho life of
Mr. Brady for the past score of years
reads like an epic of Lobster Square,
an Odyasy of the Great White Way, a tale
of epicurean effort, a Gargantuan lyric am
a Brobdignaglan ballad, that only an O.
Henry could word-weave into proper
verbal succulence.
Away back before the palaeolithic time
the first living things were little tiny
BtomacbB that wriggled about in the mud
of the new-formed earth. Later they
grow legs and arms and fins and tails and
heads and finally man evolved. All this
Bhows tho importance of the stomach.
Rockefeller offered a million dollars for
a new stomach. Constant leaning over
to clip coupons is said to have ruined
Rockefeller's stomach. He didn't have
as much fun losing It as did Mr.
Brady. Ho didn't even win any
thing by ootag It But the late
John W. Gates, the widely beloved
"Bet a Million" Gates, made much
money by it. It was well known In
Wall Street that John D. and John W.
were close friends. Then came the wide
ly spread announcement that John D.
would give a million for a now stomach.
Shortly after that Gates would allow it to
bo mentioned that Mr. Rockefeller had
found a man who would give up his
stomach for the million and the opera
tion would bo performed.
Wall Street would believe that, but It
wouldn't believe that John D. could survive
the operation, and Btocks would go down
like an elevator with no means of support.
Then Wall Street would hear that the
man had backed out and there would be
no operation, whereupon stocks would in
stantly soar.
And wasn't it peculiar that at the time
stocks soared Mr. Gates always unloaded
a lot of stock at tho high-water mark
figures, which he had thoughtfully pur
chased when they wore down7
It worked several times.
Diamond Jim Brady determined some
twenty-one years ago to eat all the
lobsters there were, to Bimply annihilate
the tribe of lobBters. Has he succeeded?
Perhaps not, but lobsters cost about five
times as much now as they did twonty
ono years ago. For Information concern
ing what happened to the supply ask Mr.
Brady. Now he's back with a brand new
stomach and good for another twenty-one
years. By that time women will be wear
ing lobsters instead of diamond tiaras.
Any one who can start with a nlckle
and make millions, aB he did, is de
termined. He got his title through the
same sort of determination. It was the
result of a sartorial and precious-stone
duel with John J. Ryan, horseman and
plunger. It happened In tho dayB before
Judge Hughes but that Is a sad story.
It happened at Saratoga. Ryan ap
peared in tho ring wearing white shoes, a
wide panama, a pearl-gray suit, a diamond
stick pin about the Bl2e of a walnut and
four diamond rings so heavy that it was
like lifting a dumbbell to get his hands
up to his vest pocket
Brady didn't have more than forty or
fifty thousand dollars worth of diamonds
on him In this round and he went to
the ropes. But in the second round he
came up strong on the aggressive, wear
ing a suit the shade of milk chocolate.
Ryan looked at him. Brady nonchalantly
threw open his coat revealing a vest of
still lighter chocolate silk, emb, tldered
with threads of gold and buttoned with
diamonds as big as a knob on a closet
door.
Ryan was sparring feoby for air In this
round, but in tho third round Ryan ap
peared with a suit of Caribbean blue, a
soft blue hat adorned with a sash buckled
with diamonds and rubles and with dia
monds on his shoe buckles. Every one
pitied Brady, for they could see ho would
be knocked out But ho was not Just
as nonchalantly as ever he removed his
coat because of the excessive heat,
turned about and allowed Ryan to see his
waistband. Around the top of his trousers
was a belt of ten karet blue-white dia
monds, and to these Brady had hitched
his suspenders. Ryan gasped, fell uncon
scious and took tho count and since then
Brady has been "Diamond Jim."
Once again "Diamond Jim" strolls into
the lobster palaceB with chattering show
girls and others, or In lordly solitude
Once again he orders the largest live
broiled lobsters In the place, jabB a fork
Into it and stows It away In his new
Btomach. A happy ending Indeed for an
ordinary 3 lobster to be gently stowed
away in a $250,000 stomach.
4.?umr U lB some
thing like this:
Old stomach 7.6OO lobsters
New stomach (to date). 47 lobsters
Professor L. K. Hlrshberg, A.B. M d
M.A-, of Johns Hopkins, likens John Hon
kins to the magician in Aladdin, who went
about giving new lamps for old lnR
much as it gave Mr. Brady a now stomach
tor his old one. WB
"As soon as Mr. Brady was brou-ht
Johns Hopkins," says Professor HIrah W
"his physician. Dr. Plaggemyer aid the
other doctors of the Institution gave Mm
painstaking as well as nalns-remoiMn?
treatment First of course came the clrl
ful examination, then a supervised rHnT
"He had to cut out his lobster before th
experts could cut out his old stomach or
that part of It that had become useless
With this diet a careful washing out 5
the stomach with the stomach tube ona
or two hypordormlc injections of a certain
drug, routine massage, alcohol baths and
no 4ulBtors.
"Many surgeon- who had prorlouslv or.
Tta,ev?Ir Brady d?cIared at once there
should bo an operation. They were con
yinccd until the Johns Hopkins treatment
that cutting Into Mr. Brady's gullet or cz
zard would effect the desired relief Not
so, Dr. Plaggemyer and his consultants
They soon proved to Mr. Brady's and their
own satisfaction that cutting out mayon
nalso dressings, lobster Newburg and
tabasco sauce was as good as cutting out
a stomach. The course of events proved
this to be true.
"After several months In the Johns Hop-
i
"Diamond Jim Woke to the realiza- gT phant Jw?1'0
tion that his stomach was gone.' r ? yv. new tomL :
kins Hospital, Dr. Plaggemyer and the J jMw JmK ant T4 Ho
hospital physicians found that Mr. Brady Vsft Igs. tfl down and OUtWtf (.1
was well; that his digestive machinery was ws WJ-oPiSSP Jm 'WV
working as smoothly as In former times, &k' W'S j A 'm a
and aJlof his striking organs wore again v j4&0 Jw ' " h
Mr. Brady has returned and tho Rlalto f'J . ' ' vM hiiA-
is oi.rjoyed. He gave a dinner at which S 5$j2c 1 f' r.;; lX M&S5(t'
he ate a whole lobster to celebrate his ' " aA. flsm
complete recovery. "'y: ,