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The Washington herald. (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, November 10, 1906, Image 6

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6 g THE WASHINGTON HERALD SATURDAY NOVEMBER 10 1996 1906
THE WASHINGTON WASHINGTONHERALD
Pubtifeed Led iieaEvery Every Man Mentiet Memia in tLc icYeir Yew by byTHE byTHE iyi
THE i WASHINGTON wstflNcTONHERALDCOMPANY HERALD COMPANY COMPANYPuW
PuW PLuGROcc ri Oiice
734 is nFTEENTH STREET NORTHWEST NORTHWESTEntttvd NORTHWES1Ent
Entttvd Ent as I3cUddI wwxxJdaai JHtt alter October r i J M86 1HG at atthe aLtbe
the poatottet pat ptct at > t Wsshwetoa a D C c tNMkr act ef efC f fCoiisrets 1CcflgTes
Coiisrets C Ctarns of Mardi Mr1Ifl Mr1IflSCOTT X Wt WtSCOTT JIltSCOTT
SCOTT C BONE Etor Ei toc tocErt
Ernest irituiiizic H H Wctrtck T TrcraaJBaei Trcamrcr aad Bwiacii Mtnsfer MtnsferClarence Manitaa MnagerCLirtace
Clarence C AtchgnM Arc A Allivcrl Vu vething rising Maaafer MaaaferJ MIIBrJ
J Harry C c CiIIeififleeIR iininh ro Auditor AuditorQiarks A Audkr9arlse dker dkerCharI
Qiarks 9arlse C Thimpion MeekiM deeM Superintendent SuperintendentTe
Te T eeIaoac T1a faoacMaiaSM Maia Dill 3 CPriVllfe Privrte P eBralKE1IleM cIa EiAaat E MaTtw
The ThVZhthgtOU1kI WUhinct l8hinstOH a H Beald nM i is ISdeIIeeVd dehf deliftlld n4 lw enrtar evkr te tethe bttM t
the Diatriet Diltri of if CotaBba Cclub and at Ataaaadria Va V 0 0t
t 35 6 etnU nu per nuBta ua th daily and Sunday er r at atJ
S 3 ccnu per T month wttbout dthnatte the Soaday SaIIcIqS tame tameby
SbcsiRM11ayMSL S lcripaieR Rat11y < by MM MMX MeiIDsib
Daily and Sunday SundayI 9uada135 X cents nt per month In
I n Iniy ily 11 aud Sunday SundayI 4t CJI L per r rIaiv y ear earltaily ar
I ltaily aiy withoat Sunday SundayL mdal JS MM per p naatt naatt43JI BJDItaUy
L bay aily without Sunday SundayNo Suea ay JI 1IS 43JI per pery year yearDaily 1So
No Not attratton whatever tftIF will i be paid i to tontributlons toContribIU2Uus inanjawui inanjawuicontributions
contributions and D4 no eoaunnmcatioM 1UIicattoIM to the editor editorwill editor1Im
will be printed except elCn over o toe th BUM of the t wriUr wriUrManuscripts 1ITitllamuTipts
Manuscripts 1arwc rpts offered for publication a trOt ba re returned No NoturDtd ¬
turned if i unavailable bat tamp siti ibaald aaId be sent sentTrifU IiIIIfitll
TrifU itll the tla numuoript manh3tTt tat f that thatAit thattil imipuec imipuecAH
AH rommtrotcaUocs aimenunitI intended d for th thte paper paperwhether aIIIrwbttlm p
whether for fo the daily or tbe Sunday da 8atyadditssdto iavoa ibavM ibavMb
b b > addicssed additssdto to THE WASHINGTON W SBI TON HSKALU HSKALUSATURDAY BK1LLIJSA
SATURDAY SA TIRIA Y NOVEMBER N0vig3BiR 1 18 18President 19II 19IIP
President P onta and dtheTnrlt dtheTnrlthoutd the Tariff TariffShould
Should houtd President Roosevelt Roo take up the thetiriff thettriff
tiriff question t u4 ioaton tfon tn his hi annual meaage met age U Ucurrent
current gossip suggests and should houid urge UJ8eUpn
upon Congress ongnoss the desirability of revisln revislnhnoxioliS revising
obnoxious and antteuated schedules he beouid
would ouid knock from under the opposition oppositionparty oppo itfonparty
party about the last leg it has to stand on Oft Oftfar
so 4 far as be is concerned Mr r Bryan Bryanwould BryanwlluJd yfl
would in 1 that event t find more reason to toomDltnd
commend than to 00Ddeina oosds condemn sn as he has on onseveral ODHal
several Hal occasions occaaI heretofore and it would wouldhe weuldhe wouldbe
he troubleSome tre abkwoBle tar to him to find good goodK JOOdpound goodgound
K pound ound for asking the people to support
him 11 im as against agaIn Mr r Roosevelt unless unlMsthere unle
there t here should be enough vitality hi and aattt
third t hi h I rd t term rm sentiment to furnish it a respec respectable rpeettble rspeeah1e ¬
table lame lameHowcwwr i iHfWt ism ismIEwevev
Howcwwr HfWt as our Democratic tic contempo contemporaries eoateponries e0ntepora ¬
raries ra ries are busily engaged e in pointing poiDt out a agreat aJTeat
great man mny things nay ma happen before
11 Thi l o and one of tbe things thin least likely to toJlap
happen Jlap I a ppen n is that a Republican Coagreas will wDtTHise
revise the tariff enouglt tIIOUC I to hurt Bat there tbereis
is is much in the temperament tenl eflQIeat and mental mentalattitude taI taIa
attitude a t t itude of the President to justify JUstf the tlMgUfU
guc Kufss si that he may y take a header Into hatotariff Intotariff
tariff agitation and so disturb urb the as u u1umed a
sumed tmed self aeJfatlstaetlon eIfsntIsfaetl satisfaction of the standpat t ttr
frs tr It is one of his III oeUghta ta M t do Just JUiltthat
that sort of ofThere thing tMu
There are two reasons outside of what whotth
the th t he President may do do for f bettering be believth that thatihf thatth
th ihf tariff tart < question win continue to bother botblrongle8lloDa1 r rongreiona1
Congressional standpatters ataDd = ttf One e is that thatS
S Secretary crftary Tuft will press his Philippine Pttillpplnetariff
Tariff bra biD and the other is that something IIOmethmmust aoinethIn
must be done to meet tbe demands of the tbeGtrman Is
German G rman government for more liberal liberaltnttment I
trontment of German importattoas We Wemanaged WeT1 W a ama
managed T1 ma ana naged last year to postpone action on oathis Os I
this matter but it must be settled this tb tbwintet I
wintet and certain phases ah hawo of It can be bedalt bedaIt b a
dalt with only by 1 legislation 8latioa The re re req r
q quired lJ ired legislation tioB It is true does not con conTemplate con contnnplate eo
Template changes in tariff < schedules 8tbell but butrliscussioa t
discussion of it must inevitably reopen the thehole th
xv hole tariff and reciprocity question QuntioftWe
We Ve trust the President Pre ldent with his hist1ar canto cnstoriary cantoriary
riary shrewdness will lake heed heid of the thegrowing t
growing sentiment of the country in favor favorof favorIf r rIf
of If a readjustment af f tariff < schedules and ancSl an I Igi
T l rgo go gi upon Congress Co the desirability of a ai aIasonable i C
i Iasonable < usonabt and oonst OOIUIfIVad1le vatlv revision The Theday Tbeda Th e eday
day da of tfc the s III e1Laantter amipatter to rt is islJr Cast fa waaias waaiasMr
Mr Moran will now have ptaitjr eity of oflisure ofji e f
lisure ji < ure to devote to his candidacy for ftbe ftbePre1c1eaq fi the thePresidency tb tbPresidency S
Presidency PresidencyA
A Ptwpesed l8Md lo Itoe Xanteifal XanteifalThe In amrIl amrIlThe rlal
The city council of Rtehmoad R Va has hasAdopted liast he I
hee
Adopted t < resolutions ft8OII OI prevldIa ptorkHag that tbatfj the theJintnce tb tbfinance e
fj finance nmee oemmittee of the council be and andare IMIH iin I
H are to t hereby instructed to provide uovlde a sum sumIMI sun i Ii
110 IMI exceeding eJ fire ve thousand t dollars dollarsooo dollanISoOO dollar I
ISoOO 4 ooo to be appropriated fid fer and s sub subJ subJf b bj
j J < t to tbe order of the Pee Memorial MemorialAssociation MemorialojatloD I Issociation i
Association ojatloD to be used for the purpose purposeif pmpOIIer purpe C Cf
if r erecting < a suitable monwment to the thememory t1leIemory tb e
memory of Edgar Allan Poe provided providedili pro proii proridoI I
ii ili I said Poe Memorial Asaociatkm
shaR shaRi 8baHraise slial II l
i raise a is the sums unoS of five thousand dollars dollars
i S nO to be placed with the
amount ap appropriated ap aptrJrniated aplripriated ¬
propriated by the city to be used for the theabove tbelll Ui C
lll above yov natne4 namelj purpose purposeit
it j t is s gmttfytag to note this sentimental sentimentalT IINdmelltaJPognition eentImtavogntion I I
T Pognition agnition of the genius seai of Bdgar dar r Attaa AttaaThough ADa ADap I
p I > u Though tardy it is
not too late teteTic lateTIl
Tic i e wonderful and compelling brilHancy tnilllaaeyu brilUanc brilUancof
u of < > f tfiis lis great Tet t writer is now universally universallyi untv untvICede4 unIveruall unIveruallacede4
i needed No matter tter whet t may y be the theuttih theII Ui e
uttih II 111 i1h It concerning the man n ttmaeif lllmeelf1nUd UiS his hisndid hi S
1nUd > ndid and aweinspirieg aweiDspI ability
cannot cannoti canno cannot 4
i o t disputed II is ated As a abort story writer his hisla bIa11i11e hi a aI
la 11i11e awe me is everlasting e and andkla hfai poetical ef efixions dfl elart I
fl ixions iona are the admiration of scholars scholarsvrywhere Ianpryhere bslu S Srywbere
vrywhere vrywhereroe pryhereoe rywberePoe
roe oe was denied a a place la the Hall of c f
Fame but he cannot nnot be denied denic a place placein plac 0
in in the minds of intelligent
people The ThetJer Th C
lover ver of literature must cone under the tb tbharm thrharm
harm of Poes J1 magic From certainJ certain certal S
suindpoints J ndpotnta the fascinatins taelut1 qualities quall of ef i
iiis works are truly marvokms marvokmsAll marv marvII
All A II admirers of
conspicuous genius 8eII1 must mustrejoice m1l8t1Joice mm it
rJcaice rejoice that Richmond d has taken ken tWs tWsstep Ui Ii I IIlep
step aad aa it Is to be hoped that the theptrpetuation thet tI It Itperpetuation
perpetuation t of b his
memory will M se as s Is
lasting lasti in marble or bnmae as It Itht must mm St
IK I C > in imperishable ttterary ltterar thongfat t tttlon aad aadtffort aa ad adittOrt
tffort tffortSenator ttlonSnator ittOrtSenator
Senator Depews s nervoosaess lIeennUI is said M te
have ha C entirely disappeared ppeand His H JNIft arv rvej e
however has not DOtJMt notJust
j jJust
Just What Sloop Kenlly nenU Is IsOne IsOne IsOne
One of those scientific aclentl fellow has been beeainf bet a
inf investigating Inv > sticatlns sleep lately and
has reach reached reachd ac1I ¬
ed I d sonw oini > very interesting
conclusions The Thecid TI e etid
cid id notion that steep is an invention for fori forthe j r rth
i the th ht knitting up of the raveled sleeve een of ofcare ofcare ofcare
care or that it is natures
ure soft nurse are arelloth ai ie
i lloth H ith t h exploded e with several other
fan fantastic bntastk fai rr rrantic ¬
antic nod old fote ideas Sleep eP accord according accordi aeco El ElI ¬
ing i Ilg ig to the latest scientific sckntl proclamation proclamations n nnothing u
s nothing more or Jess than a condition CGDdltioninduced cundith n
induced by 11 the internal secretions of th thpituitary thpituitar tI Ito Itorituitary <
pituitary gland and somnolence is char characteristic charlcttr clan r racteristic ¬
acteristic lcttr n ic of tumors therein Indeed
in inthe Inthe Inlije n
the disf dllss ase known as
sleeping sickness sicknessi s sa i ia
a i hyper IJypenrJphlc trophic pituitary body is found foundThe foundThe foundThe
The iKrtnition thus far being so ye
very veryclear 7 7clear y
clear the reader will ro doubt doubt earn
earn of ofthe ofthe ofthe > f
the further scientific conclusion along this thisline thisline Ui ala alaline is
line with great gusto and glee Experi Experinint Experl1I1nt rI rImnt I
nint has b s shown that certain Intoxications Intoxicationsand Jnto Intoxicaijo 1catiOO8 1catiOO8and ras rasand
and and autointoxications induce hypersetfftlons hyperse hypersecretlons 0 0tr
cretlons tr tIon of the pituitary gland Iand thereby therel by
inducing somnolency which is also found foundin foundin foui rid ridin < J
in all conditions c n ndtIoni Uonl causing congestion oon ion of ofthe oftJe orPC > f
the PC hyrophosls On the
contrary insom insomnia ln om omnia l lnia ¬
nia is Joted oted in degeneration of the pitui pituitary pltultar pitt ii iitry ¬
tar try in the last stages atag of acromegaUy In Inarterioscierosis n nrt narterIosiIerosis
arterioscierosis rt rterlo J rosls and
other conditions conditionswhich cOCl4ltiotutwhicb conditlo us uswhich M
which favor fa or atrophy of the pituitary pituitaryHow pituitaryHow pituitaryHow
How in the world we have managed to tottajfger tota tostagger > l °
stagger ta el along alon < for all these e years ears unap unapprtciallve unapprciallH tans p prrrciaiive
prtciallve of the truly grand gloomy gloom and andpeculiar a nd ndpeculiar id I I Ijculim
peculiar nature of skip is something somethln we weiannot Welmnot are areaniiOt p
iannot understand IInd rstand at this happy moment momentHow momentHow mornei at atHow
How little have we realised when sleep sleepno s so ale et ett V
no t o nxr would weigh our eyelids down downthat do fl flI
that 1 t bat t it i was rot contrary l ntrary Nature at all allbut allbut a II IIbut
but ji jtt t a balking of Jf the pituitary gland glandand glandand gIa nd ndtrMl
and trMl i lwml itrn rraI waywardness of
Its secre secretions 3ecrttJons aec v 1 1tions ¬ j
tions W Viua u e a nvw w we approach our couch cou cit
to Ifs down to pleasant droalns drces we shall shalldo
do doo 10 9 reverently reverentl and with a full sense aenscor
of o the scientific sclentl e phenomena we 1 are up upgldnst
against gldnstAmI nst nstn4
And A ApIe n4 when sleeping If there come to us uspleasant U8pI 118aant
pleasant pI pIe aant t dreams may they be of and andabout andabout andaut
about siK aut Uia scientific fellow who has ex exp IXto
p amed hed to us the tc technical nlcal and a ct artistic artisticdelights
delights de pde lights and beauties b tles of oldfashioned oldCashloned8leep
steep 8leepOk1JtollM ile ep
Oklahoma O kiakoms went Democratic which whicbkwks hicb hicblooks
I j looks loo looa ks mlghUb mllbtJ like handing tho th lemon to toa toa
a great and nd good g Od friend friendInferior J1ewc1Intcrior
Inferior Telephone Service ServiceThe ScrdccThe
The Chesapeake Cbe and Potomac Telephone TelephoneCompany TeJephoneCempall1
Company Co mpany is inviting trouble A year or orso orago
so anto ago its service was good so good d dto as
to b be the subject of favorable comment oommentgeaerally
g generally ge nerally Now it Ito service Is deficient deAelentde3elent m
3 deflclent de clent as to be the subject a bjoct of ttnfmvora ttnfmvorable unmvorable
ble criticism generally raUy raUyThe
The explanation of this change for the theworse thewone
T worse w orse ie I not apparent on the face of ofthings ofthaD58
t things th ings There Is a better plant a a finer finerequipment ftuerequlpmeat
equipment eq uipment the personnel of the execu executive exeeutlve ¬
tive tlv tlvch e and nd operating staff tff has undergone no DOchange
change ch ange so far as w we know and nd the meth methods methods
ods od a aDd policies are a the same as a s formerly formerlybut formerlybut
but bu t the fact remain that the service has hasdeteriorated hudeteriorated
deteriorated de teriorated In marked degree The Tb com company eotnpany
pany pa ny should houId see the wisdom of improving improvingit tmpnn1nIt
it without delay detayIn delayIn
In order onI < that anything here said 14 14not may maynot
not no t be mIsinterpreted nterpNtecl or mtounderstood mI8uIMIentoodThe
noTh
The Th Herald wU iIt forestall a possible sug nrUOA
sesthm ge geth etlon UOA that this paper favors rivaky in inthe
the th e telei tele telephone bone bone business busl It does not notWherever notWbereyer
Wherever W herever tried the experiment of com comJetlog
peting po ling telephone Hnes has beeen promo promolive promotive
ti live ve of annoyance and trouble overbal overbalandng oyerbralaDei
a andng aDei an dag any aDl saving 1 in telephone tolls tot But Butthe Butthe
tl the th e people hav have < a right to expect and nd de demand d dmand
m mand and satisfactory tlltCactory service and The Her Heraid Herald
aid ai d speaks ipeas for a large portion of the com comraunlty COIIImuntt
m raunlty muntt unity when It says n that the service rvIee In InWashington IeWashin
Washington Washin W ashington oe is I at present most unsatls tis tisfactory
f factory fa ctory Tae company eoIDPAJ interests will willbe wiDbe
be subserved beerv by b hnmedIaleImpruYtssseit immediate Improvement ImprovementNotwHhstandms lIIIPtVYteatNolw
NotwHhstandms Nolw the Presidents ab alt alta9Ce
seace Se m 000 we have ao doubt that any ttd ttdcaught IWcauabl
a ca caught ugla attemptIng to tilt wilt be properly JIIOII7Tafted properlyailed
Tafted T p ailed
Japans Fighting I 1hdn = Strength StronRthIt Stron th thIt
It Is I foottsh t sll olinh of coarse to talk about aboutwar a1NJutwar
aboutI
w war ar between the United Uak States aId aadJapan aIdJapan I
j Japan apan over any differences d now ow exist eQstbetween existg
j mg lo g between the two countries Much of ofthe 0iCthe 01 01war
t the Lb war talk Is based on the assumption assumptionthat uuptloethat
t that th at the Japanese are fully prepared for forwar forwar
war w ar and that their prowess proIft at la tbe strog str1Ilie stru
g lie g in with wit Russia wooM count heavily heavilyagainst laeav y yftIIII
hSaviIya
a against even so jaigJity tT a a power wtr as s the theUnited dieL a
theI
t United L iY Jdted States But this assumption ptIoa fans JIIIto fa I
t to take Into account the most important IMportantelement
4 element el ement of laterday warfare warfaretbe warfaretbetertaJ the theterial mo
t terial te rlal and financial resources ft8OUI of the war warriac warrbIc
r riac ri ng nations Uoaa The stopsaaoas stvDJ D cost of ofwarfare cwarfare 01 01arfare r
warfare w arfare is enoash to deter any a afrom aalioa aalioafrom antisiengaging
t from engaging eapcI in h II except ex pt for the at attainment attalJUBent atlnatesit
t tainment ta lnatesit of the moot vital ends e en or for forselfdefense tareIt4efeue to
a selfdefense m 4f4efei from threatened t destruction deatruetteLIt druct
j It is weB known that one of the strong strongest atlOlCest strongat
e est e at agencies making akI JehlC for peace between betweenthe het hetthe
t the he far Eastern MtVD combatants was the feat featapproaching taMtpproacw L
fa01I
approaching pproacw financial exhaustion of both bothRussia NUtR I
bollI
T Russia R amla ad Japan From that financial 8a8CIaJexbaation financialexhaustion ncIa I
e exhaustion neither tbel Rasala R nor asiJapsn Japan has hasyet hasyet ba I
yet y et recovered Only a short time dJDeJapn ago agoJapan
j Japan apnn was refused a loan by London Londonbankers LeeIIDDbaDkera Londotankers agtI I
bankers b ankers and si sae le would find it impossible impossibleto bIe bIeto t
t to t o raise money for carrying ca on war with without without
fl out o ut bankrupting her treasury Ad para paralyzing paraIymnc pam ¬
I lyzing yxang her industry try aad 1IdCoatrut nd cMamern cMamernContrast
Contrast this t condition with that of ofthe oftbe o ohe f
t the he United States States with Itb its almost limit ttatitlesa limitreso1nces t tH
lesa resources of public revenue with withfc withweaklt I
j fc enormous weahh weakltwith and booadleJs credit creditwith
with w ith its inexha blexharc Iaezhaajdbfe > tlbrc sto at ator4 > 4 of f all the thematerials the1Batertat tb C
materials needed neededin fa warfare and its Its great greatPUniUfion rs t toR Ct
PUniUfion oR Comaftiison com111oo of the be relative IadYof vuizdvI C
strength s of fleets 18 and or the e dIIdt etlidenoy ctenc > of ofside ofumJs 0 I
umJs a fa falls Hno a secondary pace 1 eatde be
side 1de comparison COI8 of financial and material materialresources tertal tertalftaOOrCeS beI I
resources r Without the test aut fleets and andarmies Iannlea ai airmion I
armies a rmion cannot he brougat into action actIo aDd aadmaintained aDdmaiII am I Iiatntalaed
maintained maiII u throughout t a war prolonged prolongedbeyond d I Id
beyond b d a few weeks Our superiority to tothe t a
the Japanese J in the most important Dt tie element de demeat tieeat ¬
meat m eat of warfare is therefore tbeftferee unqusatlaa unqusatlaaed
ed e e d aDd we have ao doubt sbt anqulouS Japanese Japanesestatesmen J JtlbltCDIEft S
statesmen s are perfectly aware Japsaouf that if JttJ1ty I Ithey f
they undertook the na d of force to back backup backup heel i idliiomatle
up diplomatic Ie dems ilraiands upon as they theywould tlleywouJcl the V
would encounter a foe of a ejvite te tedaaracter difere aUfertat
character c Croat the antagwaat ntagan t they ftIIquYhed van vanuljbed >
qJ quUbed q uljbed ia Manchuria l and the Sea of ofJapan ofJ of1D 0 f fspan
Japan J span
1D view of tbeIe facts we lllaYe lllaYethat no ids a athat
that the Japaaeae are rnedttating medtttha a de at att i
scent s cent t oa the P1IW PhtUpptee or Hawaii or orthat 0 C Chat
that t they tbe will pursue pur any other than a apoHey apoIIeJ aolicy
poHey p olicy of peace for some yean aa to eotae eotaeWe eGIMWe oue I IWe
We have e nothing to fear free that thatquarter tbatQuart the LI LIuarter
quarter QuartIf q uarter uarterIf
If the RevabOcaa campaign ntsIgu load was wasreally WUrea wa a aeally
really rea r as small as It was 1 ws said to be beof be beof e
of o f the defeated candidates te8 m New Yfrk Yfrkmust y yIIOfouncl1y Tpe
must profoundly reatee that a HttSe HttSemoney 1IUIea 1111
money m otiey te a dangerooa thing thingCliiekens tbI tbIChietens thingChiekens
Cliiekens and Other Thins TilingsShaO ThinsShaD
ShaD we or shaft we not keep chickens chickensThat etdehenshat bIdrensTbat
That T hat i ita the questL Q Mtj a 1 The District tri triumvirate trt1IIftYlrate tx I Imvlmate ¬
i umvirate u is wrestling with wlt the problem problemHitherto problemHItherto problemHitherto
Hitherto the right ht to keep chickens has hasnot huD8 hi a f
i not i mi been infringed d upon The TIIeutIft TIIeutIftBrabma dtmmutive e eBrahms
Brahma the stately Matd Leghorn and the ro rotund ro rotUDd ii iiund
und t Plymouth Rock Have strutted tnlttecl hi un undisturbed aD aDdl8turbed ut a ¬
disturbed d < serenity eaU around the narrow narrowconfines JI8ITOWcoaaea aanr a aones v
confines c ones of oar back yards ya yard and no one onehas ODebaa or I Ihas e
has dared to Interfere They have havescratched baveIICIateited ha hascratehed
scratched i and cackled to their hearts heartscontent beAnseGIItent S Scostenl 1
content Upon Ute horizon n of o ttteir tJMtrf1aI peaee peaeeful p pexbetence
ful exlcrtence however howeverp a cloud now ap apy apoMAr4 aj It Itpears >
y pears ars There is I aa n orgaataed effort to tohantoh toRanleh I 10them o
Ranleh hantoh them It Is I complained that they theye theyao tht thtnoisy
e noisy and uncleanly uDCIe nly Even now the theCommissioners U UCoetmissloners
c
Commissioners nI hold aloft an edict which whichwould whichwould with hwould h
would literally cut off o their heads Above Abovetheir Abovethetr tbo re retheir
their Bnocent 1Il 1OONt necks the sword wreI of Duroo Duroodes Damodes a ab
des Itanas b When it dencends d enda a a bunch bunchof 1Mmche bun bunaf
of e af e crepe c will dangle mournfully upon upoGbowIe the thehenbouse t 0 0door
henbouse bowIe door doorIt doorIt doormatters
It matters not not in ibis sad period of the thechickens thecl1Ickens ti ie e ethlCkOflS
chickens life Itfp that from the theearfl8t earliest clv clvilncatkm clvlibation ci v vUXU0fl
I libation the hen and chanticleer have been beenUM beenfrtend bet fl flfilend
UM friend of man They have an ancient ancientand anclEntand axacie rat ratand t
and an honorable lineage The Goths Gothstbem Got its itsknew
knew them the AngloSaxons A Saons loved them tllemand thet U
i iand
and tat these modem times we bow down downbefore downbefore do rn rnbefore
before the tender omelette and the nutri nutritloug nutritious anti ii iitIOUS
tious egg When fried a rich and ruddy naddybrown ro4 ly lybrown r
brown with plenteous cream sauce the thechicken thechick ti be bechicken
chicken chick titillates our appreciative pal palates palate pe tl tlales I ¬
ate Why Wh then should the wrath cf dthe efthe
the authorities be visited upon the useful ueetuland usel ul uland Jl
and unobtrusive fowl We pause e for a areply areply
reply replySerlourly
replyuFly
Sertoufly uFly speaking this question que tlon of ofkeeping otk ofkeeping
keeping k ing chickens seems to resolve itself itselfinto itselfInto Itsi 4 4Into f
into a very simple matter If they ere ereate create ci 5 5ate
ate Insanitary conditions let the ever everI ev te tevigilant r
vigilant I lant health ofllcer o lcer do his duty If Itthey Ifthey
they constitute a nuisance nuisance let the courts courtsinterfere courttintrfer cout ts t tintsrfere
interfere They are a certainly not as an annoying annClTing a fl flnoylag n
noying as horses or cows in stables or orautoaM orautomobile
automobile autoaM > 1 i1o garages es or boiler shops and aHan a rid ridall 1
all these as well as other unpleasant unpleasantthings unpleasanttbtnp unpieses iat iatthings
things are allowed It looks indeed as asIf asthere s
if there was a great deal of fuss over a avery avery avery
very few feathers feathersThat feathersThat
That Louisiana Congressmanelect who whostarted whostarled q ho hostarted
started practicing with his pistol the day dayafter d ly ayafter
after his election ought to have been In Informed Inform I Informed n
formed form that our Congressmen are a not notalways notalways iot iotalways ot
always as bud as they are painted paintedv p
It is a cheering thought says the theNew t heNew he I
New York Mall that th t when it is a que qm Si
t
ti lion tio n of clHtnfcter chanCet the verdlet of the theAmerican theAmerlcall thoerlcaaa
Ai American Am erlcaaa people never varies What Whatsort Whatt Vbats
so sort sor rt t of character does that establish ttbIIsh for forPennsylvania forP fornnsylvanIt
P Pe Pennsylvania PennsylvaniaA nnsylvanIt nnsylvanItA t tA
A Uniform Automobile cLnw cLnwTIle Law EnwThe Lawhe
The < T he time ta not far distant when Con Congress ConJrei8 Coneen ¬
g gress gr een will be asked to enact en ct a uniform uniformautomobile unIformautomobn uniformtomobile
ai automobile au aulat tomobile Jaw nIB character of legis legislation legIslation legislon ¬
lat h lation lon is sadly tIb needed At present present so somuch somuch SOuch
much m uch difference nee exist eClllta between local localstatutes localfiatutes localtutes
statutes sta tutes that the autontehile tourist t fthda fthdaIt 1thdsIt ftndsImpossible
It impossible Im to master their varying re requirements re4Iulremeats relrerneitts ¬
quirements quirementsIn qu lrerneitts lrerneittsn
quI In I n the Journey jcJurnry between Wartilasttm and andNew aDilNew andw
New Ne w York the States of Marybaia Daliv Dalivware Delnware 1Dhrvre
ware ware wa re Pennsylvania PUI and New Jewey are aretraversed 81etlaVod arcv
traversed tza v csed No two of these States have havelaws naveJa8 haveu
ta laws u the tJ e least m tit harmony JlArmonrTltey They do donot donot dot
M not no t even agree as to the limit of spited spaedwhile 8t spitedIle oed oedwbiJ
w while wbiJ wh Ile in other detail thorp thar IB oqqa1 un uncertainty unrtalni7 tntrtainty ¬
ce certainty rtalni7 The regulation repJaUonresardlnr regarding dte dtejDlay dl dlpia disay
jDlay pia Pl l ay ef numbers differs In various SbUeft SbUeftSome S SSOIfte StU StUme
Some So me laws are more severe tin others othersand otho othoand otheiid
and an d in some States there to a rigid rigMenforcement rigidenfOleetJleDt rigidforceenent
enforcement en forceenent of certain retpriremant retpriremantwhich rrutremanta rrutremantawhlcl1 rueurasnentahich
w which hich elsewhere are not considered COIIIIIderec1senUaL es essential ¬
sential se ntlal The automobile url t most sn mUsterefore lt ltth
th th therefore erefore be a a traveling encyclopedia encyclopediaIt enqcJoPedIt encyclope la
It I t would be much simpler pier and better if ifa IeA t tuniform
a uniform Federal F dera1 automobile automobnIaw law couldenacted could couldbe uld I Ibft
be enacted It could be framed so ae to toinclude toinclude toclude
include In clude the th best and wisest provisions provSlil of ofthe ofthe
the th e State laws while the details as to tolamps tolam tomps
lamps lam la M mps e numbers Ac could be based balledupon
tt upon up < on experience With such a Jaw the tilerIgbta theghts
rt rights ghts of the dtiaene of the States would wouldbe weaJdbe wouldfully
be fully protected and the automcbiBst automcbiBstwould auto1Dc authmciUstould iut iutwould
w would ould in turn be relieved retieY of a situation situationwhich attuatlonwhich situationhich
which w hich is now provocative of o annoyance annoyanceand DO a1lCe a1lCean4
and an d embarrassment 8llleftt He would know kft wex wexacUy ex exactly
actly ae tly the demands lema < made IDa upon him ad adcould
could ° co uld not plead Ignorance if he failed failedto tailedto failedfully
to < fully comply WIth these tll thee demand d As Asto A8to s sthe
to < the enforcement of such a law Con Congress CcmIIdt Cciie ¬
gress gr e might provide fer r JM preeeeutlou n by byState bySlate byata
s State Si ata authorities authorItI thus thu obviattjajr oIMtatl tI the ne necessity he het noanity ¬
cessity ce anity t of taking ta the elMFedeIaI offender before a aFederal aederal
Federal F ederal official officialIf otldalIf odic4 odic4If
If this uniform Ul unlfor fonn Federal law 1 is isble ist hapneM hapneMble
b ble bi t then there ought to be b a a raoveaieat montltwlllc
whica w hici will result la l concerted t action aedeatween he hetween
beI
t tween tw eeti the States Stat The TbeaDoyI Tb present system te teannoying I
annoying aDoyI nL illogical and ad aawocthr wwtItr of otadvuced aa aaadvanced 1
advanced a civflhiaUon civflhiaUonj civflhiaUonMr dvIIbIatloa dvIIbIatloafr cIvUInat1oMm j
Mr Haghes has taken to the tilewbere we wes weshers ids idswbere
wbere w hers he is pretty U7 apt to hwm hite M a a
few l fe w Independence n4eM n4eMO Leagaen LeagaenOne
One O e thing may be said iet for Mr Hearst HearstHe
He H e walked right t up to tile table and ate atehis Mehis a
his h is crow like a man After all all that te tethe Isthe Ii Iie
y the th e best way to dispose < of crow crowWe CIOWWe crewWe
We trost that Xeptuae appreetaces the thenecessity tIteof tbEecessity
a necessity of making hiawlf It known knownpromptly k1IOWJIJIIOIDJtb knowsoinpdy
p promptly pr oinpdy when hailed if It f the ProaMent PnlHentbooN lreotdenlhould ProaMentshould
should s booN mistake the old mans trhtettt for forTUhaaas lor111II lotiUluans
TUhaaas 111II T pitchfork ha may order a fear fbwrteeaiach fMIi8da fearpea
teeaiach ° ° i8da pea tamed oa the nrfer ndwDC of Uw UIedeep
deep oe
deepTwo
Two other medcn 1 ci a about
ahoot a ah bout to seek rest fiats HMsr JINIIIIa 1JINIIIIa ja aUgxte aUgxtehusbaads
1 husbaads It The Tb thiaff tMIn threatras to Iefad be becornea beomeataeL
cornea e < omeataeL omeataeLN fad fadNo fadI fadNe I
No N Mae need dovbt the Ole1t7 pattileaL pdetao sagac sagacity ¬
ity of W William Randolph 1t hI L Heana Ii ret retoner JCo JCosooner 08OODeI
sooner es oner does he acknowledge a aeItnowle defeat tea teahe IIaabe I Ie
he b e announces tell Ida intention of tajdas takI a atoag aIntJ i iong
toag l ong trip abroad abroadWe abNadWe abroadWe
We regret to report that Mr r Adam LIt Ltttlepage LItI Litepe
I tlepage U Up epe for whom we mad ch aa ecta1I osptctel osptctelplea ecla I
I plea p lea was completely lost to the West WestVirginia W Weairginia I II
I Virginia V irginia shuffle In fact tart the cruelheart cruelhearted ¬
ed e d voters vote seem to have h ve determined cIe ln1I that thatLlttiepage thatLlttlepqe tha thattleitale
Llttiepage U ttleitale ought to be betumned turned turaedtlown turaedtlownIf down downi downIf
i If the Pufejaaes keep it Itlikely up asmethtog asmethtogis aametbth
is IB likely ly to happen to them tIMIB des despite te their theirladylike tbeIr1ad7l theldylike
ladylike la ladylikeJust dylike re annit IDe IDeJust
Just as a train stopntd far dteaer ner nerew to toi tDNew
i 2 Sew N ew Mexico the lb other day doibe1te baaHts ta tateNd en entered saoted ¬
teNd t It and robbed the tlaeY the paaaaagars paaaaagarsI I II
I Bandits B andits ought t to work their own end eader eaderthe endhe of oftbe
the t he road and let lettlte the railroad railroadrestaurant railroadrestaurantkeepers l U11UIt U11UItk I Ieepema
keepers k eepema end alone aloneI 11
I II
I trust tr impiicity ia 1 ProvKteace Prwf F 1 say sayMr aJ aJlr I
Mr Rockefeller er If that fails Mr r Rook JIcMtbfeller Rockefeller Rookeller ¬
i feller f can always rates the price of oil oilDesBoeraey elLq
DesBoeraey q te on trial says 871twan esysard BerX BerXward S
ward w ard Everett Bale Baleta Chatngsaa i isospects Ut S Sets
sospects su ets ta that the Jwry jw te I packed too tooThe t oTJae
The JkepoMlcans ica showed Mfssoorl teat Juttime Ins Insime I
time t and that seems to have been an anMissouri aDJIfotn1 al I
jj
Missouri M lomurI wanted to see seeTell J Jell p pTell
Tell ell me what a man eats and I win winten wiDtell wil
t ten ell you hte t thoughts says flla a setaattet setaattetStffl Ull4t111t8dII
Stffl 8dII ijg if i he aUeoipted a to tell the tboudMs tboudMsof Ibougher S
c of o f a man who 110 has ba Just been eating crow crowtbe cnnrtbe r
t tbe chances are the tb scientist monK WOIIWarrested cmI get gethimself gs gsarrested I
himself arrested arrestedIt arrestedIt arrestedbe
It arast be cnnf cofm pasea toeftIt toe too that thai mam mamvett beau p plack
vett lack seems tus to be quite qak rugaJar eak in ft its itshabits I
I habits habitsGov heW t tGov
Gov Magoon agooa will hive the books ef tile tbeCuban tileCubaD tb a
Cuban C uban treasury audited The C caban han pa patriots patrtotIs pariMs ¬
riMs t will doubtless watch this new and andnovel aIMSIIOftI an 6
tn 6t
novel n ovel Innovation with great interest hi bat batscant b1atlleant ha hacant t
scant s respect respectMarie Je8peCtMarie
Marie Corel CorelU announce that she te not notcoming DOteomtac at atmnhig at
coming c to the United States The new newwin JMn JMnwill I
will nine add to the festivities of Thanks TIIaabvilla Thanksgiving I Iaivlnd ¬
giving villa Day DayThe
i
The Richmond ODd ThaesDtepatch Tbn Dl patcit thhiks thhiksthat tuthat thlab s
that t hat Havana soldier oldIei sentenced to jail forwrltiJIg Is Iswriting for forwrttinc N sN
writing bad poetry might enter a plea pleathat pleatbt p15 a
that be doeant write any worse poetry poetrythan poetf7than pueti 7 7I
than t Alfred Austin However Howeov If he it fatt fled I
I ed to sustain his plea be would probably probablye probabibe
be shot shotBut sbotBut
But But then theft suppose things shMM isoot move MOTeI mo moalong
I along fat Washington Ti ldlleton during the next nextthree aextthree ne
three weeks jinn as though tho thohaPP noUaa nothing netd had hadhappened hi hihPpened td
happened D Wouldnt ouI4Dt that hold you for tora ft r rawhile
a awhile awhileOver while whileOver wh1leOftr
Over in I Illinois the Repabttcan eaadMa cuaIc1ae te tefor t e etor
for State treasurer Mr 4r Smutekf has de cJe cJeCeated 6 a afeated
feated the Democratic candidate 1MII 1ate Sir SirPlotrowski illPiotrowald M I Iriouowsiu
Plotrowski thus tit clearing elte karIn ap the peHtica peHticaskies IteIttJeMIa Ii Iiooiaslderably 1
skies Ia considerably considerablyThe COIIIIIderabiyThe
The Rev Hugh Black of Scotland Scotlandsays Scotlanmaya I
I
says 8 To my mind hades Is a city very verymuch verymuch vet vetmuch
much like New York This Is I enough endeghre oash to to5C4tle
scare re his flock back into the straight and andnarrow ar nd ndnarrow ad adnarrow
narrow path pathWith pathWith
With the Oklahoma Indians voting the theDemocratic tbeDfmocratlc tl e eIts
Democratic ticket and the Ute Indians Indianswanting IndJaMtin Indlai Indlaiwanting Its
wanting tin to fight bt the present JIeR t admlnistra admlnistration a 1mIAIstTaUoR a athin
thin moat be longing for the sight of offew c cfew a
few good Indians IndbnsThen IndiansWhen
When the President Pre reaches Pai Paihe PnrNUqJ Panan Pananwill I I
he will doubtless do btl 8 present a card enrKV nraii nraiiTheodore fiII fiIITheod
Theodore Theod re Roosevelt Missouri JfIs8oUrft Missourithe j jWhen
JfIs8oUrfts
+ s y >
When the Japs and tbe Chinese Chinesea ethidi fcrtrtObW i14 i14a le
a man they y start with the man aad work workbackward woi rk rkIncluding k
backward including such ancestors ance tors tors5etm a aseem 6 6sem
seem worthy worth This Is quite < an improve improvement Improvmeat
ment over the English and French plans planaor pin pinof
of leaving le n1ng the thing to the man and his hisdescendants hisdcaceJtda I its itsdescendants s
descendants dcaceJtda descendantssince nts
Since the returns are all in the saddest saddcetthought saddi st stthought t I
thought to the gang Is that the th new newPenn at iw iwPennsylvania v
Pennsylvania Penn lvanfa capitol might Just as well w eli elihave 11
have cost a few millions more moreThe moreI moreThe I
I The smallest county in Alabama elected elect ed eda d t ta
a Republican to the legislature legl JatureThe The Re Republicans Re RepubllcaM II IIpublicans
publicans do not need much In Alabama AlabamaTbere Alabai Ia IaThere a
There is little crowding crowdingAs
As for the lemon distribution Gov GovBeckham G GBeckbam i iBeckham
Beckham seems not to have been over overlooked overlooked ov ovlOOked
looked lookedChicago
Chicago merchants are complaining complahtingb complahtingbcause be 1 e ecause i
certain rural gentlemen i iselhng
cause have been be en enselling > n
selling them potatoes measured in inbushel Inbushel I
bushel baskets that do
not contain a abushel 3bUll abuahel
bushel bUll bel The farmers should remember rememberthat rememt or erjat j
that jat the use of the nearbushel measure measu re
fa the merchants merehsnt5e3cluSlVe esclueivie prerogative vr ro5at1ve I 1
I
ALITTLE A LITTLE NONSENSE NONSENSETilE
TilE TREASURE TREASUREA
A wife to love loveThe loveI
I A The whole day long longA longwte
A Aw1tetobhuae wife to blame blameWhen me meWhen
When things go wrong wrongA wrongA >
A Awifeteelothe wife to clothe clotheA clothewife C
A Awlfe wife to feed feedA fee4A
A wife to touch touchWhen touchWhen touchWhen
When coin you need needA needA
A AwlfetokIi wife to kJIBAway kiss kissAway
Away earths earth stings stingsA sungawit
A wife wit to fetch fetchAnd fetellAnd
And carry things thingsA thll11J5wife
A wife to pet petA petA
A Awlfstotesae wife wlC to teace teaceA teuewile
A wife at timesTo timesTo times
To try to please pleasewife j
A wife from waat at atTo i A ATo
To shield leld and screen screenA cree creewlte
A wife on whom whomTo whomTo
To vent your spleen t
Oh 011 believe me men menThroUChout V VThroughout
Throughout this t life lifeTheres liteThere
Theres There 8 nothing JUte MkeA JUteA
A little wife wifeThey wireTJI
They TJI Often Are AreI AreTbat >
I That That Boston girt is sweet weet enough to toweeten
i 8A sweeten sw eeten tea with a auAD4 smite smiteAnd
uAD4 And cold enough to frappe it with a afJ
glance fJ gla nce
A AJ1 Answers isTTcrw 1Vcr8 to correspondents CorrcfCponI1entDId
Did Roofs speech do 1 It It ar 1 was Tam TamDUmy
many DUmy m any the real causer ANXIOUS ANXIOUSWe o Dus Duse
We e cannot answer uswet this question questionAnxioaa eradunAnxlou
A Anxioaa Ain nsions Do you wish as to commit lese lesemajoste lesemaje8teT
n majoste in ate
maje8teTQnite
Quite So SoHow SoHow
How about oat our X Y 4 Z Zo stock stockWeve ock Z ZuVey
uVey Weve been bended a lemon len1ODNnw
S
N Never vcr mind Mired with a II llttte Ge water waterIt
it win make a beverage that the e public pNlleau
has ha j s never known how to toTho resh resist
The aiorninsr JIornin After AfterI
I hit a poker game me teat ahjJK DIPtLOrewtee abtUkewIse
Ukewtee a little uWeI boooe boooeI
I lost my m every red and a white wIIIt wIIItJIut whiteBut
But I retaIn my blues bluesA hi
A 4 It how Ic Year Henc HencWh Hon c cWhy
Wh Why do you hesitate Archibald My fbave M
w Bp have been steriUaed stertJlMHow <
How about abcMIi the coloring matter 1 1G
OoMfntoed G O usnanteed fttJateed free from all allacea 0 ddeteriooa deIsted sub aahtaacesr
m taacesr taacesrBald acea
aceattJ
Pttlasr ttJ ago It UhU UhUJar8Ier lIIdIilald
Bald Fanner Bopp Mach wood FB FBehoa 111eItop
ehoa eItop ch op My y jsssb jasstboiu U says ys that 1R1IIre well Need Needare
are Ire Ir e
areQuoth
Quoth Fanner 7ea Hayea ysu My 7 jeoithoae jeoithoaeays ooubom IIUU
sa ays ys 8 year onI jocsehoaa te an awfal tOOt tOOtt jwirprophet
prophet prophetWeH pr ophet
t Tired IlrodVen
WeH Ven Senator the returns are all m III I
So am ir Jr JrTHE I J JTHE
THE INNOCENT BYSTANDER BYSTANDERTIt1I BISTANDER I
TIt1I SJIUDGJIIAQlD BOY BOY0Ia
I 0Ia O Oh h aiaadg OIaD4acd faced boy per cheeks are aregrimed areWlth a
grimed grimedWith 4
With din that tens of ofOf romping earner earnerOf gamesf
Of O f fences f sealed e OIl tree youve ft dfanbed dfanbedOf
Of 0 conflicts after can caUIar caUIarWh aameer aameerWhy auues
Why Wh W hy here is dost sut from f off o the street streetAnd meet meetADd reat
And there t are patches of Mack ItIaeIbat warnThat warn learnhat
T That hat tell you o crept oa stealthy feet feetThrough feetTIaNaJIII
Through Tb aaraeas s ere you OUIt waadered waaderedAad I
It ItAM
Aad A nd here are Utile 8traAUaaub 8traAUaaubTIuIt straggttag streaks atrsuhsC s sThat
That show w where JImt dripped the teBHale teBHaletears UIIHaIetMn C
tears tearsAad tMnI
Aad A ad left their Imprints oa your ebswhen cneuM
when soml aom one hailed yew wrath wfUt wfUtjeer wUtJeen wlU I
jeer Jeen JeenAn4 s snd
And A nd her heN upon your ur rooaded ro roAre ehto
Are blots of drying tIr1I8cYouye apple Juice Julesotfve
Youve Y otfve raided some ones sVs apple bID btoId bIDId
Id preach to you 011 but whats whet t the tileAh use useBut
Ah L it when JIC8mIle you imile the tlMIuwp Utp ts tsi tsthese
Iuwp these te4a11s c cA8
i
A8 A s tItGv a laughing Mr JILts JILtsAnd
And shake ea a baN cMek cbeekbaesdth or trn II LBut
But B ut when I look at you 00 I IT seem
T 10 < > sc myself lt In years ra gone byi a
Those T hose eM days th day pass me to a aAJ dream dream
Aad nd thinking th4p4 of them all all I IDtI ate ateAnd
And I would give I know net what whatIf WIIat1t
If f I toacernore oace more mb might it loHcr IGIWWith loliarhe loliarhesouvenirs m
With souvenirs of ofmy each atey slat slatfieplastertag ot otDeplastedng
fieplastertag my cheek c and efefa dII1I dII1IIf
I If f I mteiit know again the feel feelOf ltIII feelOf
Of honest dirt of RrateIIBut scratch sad tauten
But B ut age comes creeping oa to IIt8d steal
The day 7 that we are doomed to loan
110 1 Be 0 wash your ow face It does not eomtt eousntTon t tTou
Tou caaaot know yet what I Imudplace mean
A mnndgeface oo ° ° te of small amaIISo amount
So long as your our boyheart bo hart Is clean clean1TTTrK cleatlrrTJl1 don
1TTTrK irSXRYS 3IBDIOILVXDA IRiUOILLDAJakel
Vakel Bill 1 lieS a alma te a potttl tOIItIebUD
ehun s hun that te always 1wa bavin hte picture picturetook plet plett S
took t no
okIlea
When Ilea sum people are happy they are areBfce arealEe am amke S
li alEe ke a saint t Barnard Buraa dog waggle gta its taB taBm taDIII to I
m the ° house They forget and upset 1IPMtJOttbJ ev
JOttbJ JOttbJtnkeI r rything
Unkel BIll se sea when a man calls caIJwnman a awoman I
woman a afaagel he forgets to ta that a angel set set1ree ii 1
wares the maim dress for tboumns UIoaIM cf cfYfftII c f
yeers y esrs aDd never wares a hat at alL alLIt aiLIt
It t is tong to quarrel hocus yon cant cantthink can it t
think of the meanest thing t to say I until uot dI II 1
after aftc o tter you have maid up upI upI
I had to laff 1 < when pa ad ed tile the truobie truobiewith truititi 0 B
with boys te that they tbe7 kite more than thanthare thlutbare tInt it n
thare t here fatheiv an ma sed that tIaanautch waeat so somutch a 0 >
mutch tho thoUnkel tJaoUnktl UnUnkol
Unkel BID 1I Ma es when a man gets the themorgidge tMpade Ut C Culorgidge e
morgidge pade on his boos he it quits limes I
tog lt l ag to talk about the shakktee of 0 oappy capp py
taL t L WILbUR WIL > Un KJOIIMT 1IILT BIT BITW
nul hi W D NeIIdt NeIIdtIJoJe
10 IJoJe and Dogma Dognm1Ia11Nr
tnm Itoacrs listpn W War WarA WisktyA < aklr aklrA
A Baltimore man tens of attending attMdlagcllurch a achurch
church on 0IIIt one occasion when the min minister ndnlIIter I Ilater ¬
later dettvered a sermon of but ten min minutes 1Rine8tIo a r
aa
utes ues e8tIo duration a a most unusual thing U for forbhn It a r
Mm MmUpon
rpon the conclusion ef his remarks remarksthe reIIIIlrksthe s
so
the minister had added I regret to tolaforra tolaform I Iinform o
inform yon brethren that my dog tI which whichappears whichappears while h
appears to be peculiarly fond of patter patterthis erthis r r
poper
this morning mom I ate that portion of my ser sermon aermon so somon r >
mon that I have not delivered deliveredAfter dellvenClAfter
After the service the clergyman der dermet was wasmet wi wimet is 3
met at the door by a man who as asrulf a arule a atr
rule attended divine service rvlce in another anotherparish IUIOtherparish anothi tr > r
parish P Shaking the good man by the thQhand U Uhand id
hand h M said saidDoctor saidDoctor
Doctor I should like to know whether whetherthat wHethertb whetS ar ir
that tb t dog of yours has any pups If so soI s 0 i
si
I want w nt to get one to give Ve to my min minteter mlnJ mit mitStutitous i i
teter J tEr
Studious tmUottl Indian 11lIn IzidinniaPzur n nFIOII1
FWJJB FIOII1 the Leriataa JournaL JournaLAreostook irnrsalAn
An Areostook farmer recently ap approached ap approached aj p
proached two Indians Indians from the Passama Passamaquoddy Pas ama amaquoddy i pi l
quoddy reservation desiring to hire them themto the theto m n
to rck potatoes offering 250 a day and andboard antIboard at ad adboard id
board boardOne boardOne
One of the Indians asked the farmer farmerbe if IChe
he had an organ in the house and being beinganwered belt If Ifer y
answered in the negative told the farmer farmerthe farm farmthey er
they the would not work for him as they theywould therwould thi thiwould
would want to work for some one having havinga havh havhId
a musical instrument so that they could c cou couPractice < mld mldpraUce Id d
practice evenings evenin eveninA
A Desert Crop Report ReportProsa RelJOrtlmn ReportFrt4n
Prosa th t tiCS GoMfield Gft dfitld IS Xer Goisip GoisipYoung c GoOlitYoung p pYoung
Young dynamite is shooting through throughthe throughthe throw h hthe
the ground groundPeas groundPeas groundPeas
Peas and beans are coming on nicely nicelyby nicelyby nice 41 41by
by train tralrtAspa trabtAsP18
Asparagus Aspa gus is looking well in the can eftnTtle canThe
The brewery grass plot is being Ml spray sprayed spra
spraUi
ed with beer The grass is leaning at atanglet all allangl Ui 11
angles angl anglGoldfteld angletGnid1e1d
Goldfield peaches come very high highThe
The corn eornshould should be constantly looked to toFrqu I IFrequent o j
Frequent Frqu nt rubbing with soda will assist assIstt aaalstL
t
PEOPLE OF NOTE NOTEKentuckys NOTEI
I
Kentuckys I Ce entucJ nnclqys 1f > New eiv Stnr StnrAlthough StnrAlthough Starlthough
Although A lthough the Hon James B JIc JIcCreary Ic IcC
Creary C Cr eary ry has yet two years to serve the theState thestate thete
State Sx te of Kentucky in tho Senate Seaate and the theJtgfahtUrre
1 legislature lsg islatu which will elect his successor oectMOrwUl
will wil l not bo chosen until next year r the theD
Bomoeratlc D flo < moemttc voters of that State already
have h ve decided upon their choice of a new newSenator newSenator
Senator Se nator In the person of their governor gCYeln r rtit
the tit e Hon J C C W Beckham Under a nplan
plan pla n devised by the Beckbam crowd crowdtbe crowdUe
tbe th e election el tlon of Senators was wa made as asnearl
nearly nearl ne arly popular as possible under present presentconstitutional prNentconsttlut1onal
eo constitutional restraints by referring it
I to the people to bo voted v te 1 on O at the same sametime
time tim e that tha they elected State officers and andothers IDdot1he
others oth e e thi this year A mighty howl went ent up
ot1he whca wh be e the Beckham crowd forced this thisupon
upon u up oj the notttte of the State but these theseco theseplaJnta
co mplaints pteintji did no good Mr McCreary cCr8I7
of course submitted IUbJl tted to the inevitable and andentered
entered en tered the curious primary contest with WI withe Ut Utthe
the th thth e young governor with the result that
the th e iJatter latter has ta been declared to be the tb
choice clOl dP oiee of the Democratic voters Un Vnthe
1 less les lesle s the Republicans should carry the
legislature le gislature in next years 1er election GOT 001Beckbam
B Beckhem eckham will be sure to come to the Sen
a atM U e He H win be the youngest member ember embero
of o ofth that body bod and with the exception of ol
tl the th e Hon Marion C Butler Butl r of o North Nortlrolina I i
c Carolina Carolina Ca rolina the youngest you man who has hasII8ned a
served aci ved ia 1 the Senate In more than A t gen
eraUoa er aUoa GOY Beckhams Beeltluull career has been I
meteoric me teoric rite grandson of a governor of ci r rs
his hi J s State Stat he was as a page la the Kentucky
lew legislature le fsItur at nine At twentythree h hwas itt I Ias
was w as speaker of the th House Hous at Frankfort p
aad an d at t tweatyebiht t1Nltt eht was governor GO laor He Ni
wffi w wi ll l be only thlrtyftmr when he enters entersthe n I
tl the th thza e Senate He has beaten down and hu bumlUated haihlated
n mtUated za ihlated all the oMUae Democratic DeocraUetI DeocraUetIera lead leaders leadof
er ers of Kentucky even Including staten I
o oB of such h power lid prestige as Senators I
B Blackburn Bl ackburn and McCreary Not even evenMarse eftnMa I IMarie
Marie Ma Heary Watteraoa wtt has escaped escapedthe escapee I Ie
tl the th e young JOUft everaors Or N0t ll t of vtedms riedatsnboia
v
U DnliolV I nboia Great Popnlnrlty PopnlnrltyThe P I rU rUThe
The nit defeat of no other man in public Hte Hk1eI IlLs
IlLsI
could se aM 1eI have ha caused ed more ore genuine pnut gntne regret la J ta it I
itI
a large lJre circle of friends in inn Washington I
than th n that of Senator ntor Dubois of Idaho 1110Idaho
1 The ll ie Idaho statesman statman came to Washing Washingn < >
t ten to < n first as a Delegate lel3 te when Idaho was wet a i
a Territory Territol and it was wa largely due to hte ha hapularity I
popularity po pularity that Statehood was bestowed be I
pop
fPOD p on the Territory Tfrritor He H was then a Re Reo Reoand Reibllczi
ibllczi n and its a member mt > naber of that party part r
wa w an MIlt Mi to the Senate by his State He Hefollowed Hi S
followed fo llowed Senator Teller T J1er out of the St StLoW
Louis L ouis convention and has been a loyal StI I
Democrat D emocrat t ever itnc tnce After a tepee lap of SoyaC one ODeterm on C ft
term b rat Idaho then sent him hi to Washington Washingtonagain W Wapin Washlngtoiain onS S i
again ag agoc ain as a Senator this time tim as a Dent Democrat DtomenlL ¬
ocrat oc tat Senator Dubois Dub ill went to Idaho from tl08l1JUuoIa tieslinois
i minote Il linois during tbe Arthur admlnistratlcn admlnistratlcnas adIa1nlatratlcaUDtted t
as United States marshal He te general >
ly lyti accounted one of the mast astute poll pollclans
tfcians ti tiIn clans in the Senate and wields a a quiet qufetmnueace quietIn t
i
In mnueace fluence la that body that te not DOtpat sur surpassed
paas passed pa ssed by many Senators Seaat The Senate Senateas 5eftate1NI1 Senatewell
as well as the Waaatogton public w w re regret re reSftt
gret gl ut to say goodby by y to Senator Dubete reL L L
H He o will be succeeded by WltttoM WIIIIaaooe florale floral Borahone
one on e of the ablest lawyers fat Idaho IdahoStncljIncr I41aboSiUllylnJt
StncljIncr S Heredity HeredityAgreeing HerelUyAlmebt
Agreeing with Pope that the he greatest greateststudy yatMRudy I Iudy 4
study st udy of mankind te man the Hon Wil WHlet Willet k kt
let le t VL Hayes Assistant t Secretary of atAgrI Agri AsrIealtDft I
culture cu lture has deserted tbe neaceful eeful study studyof stud7of atu atuscientific
of ofS ofli scientific farming c and nd taken op the dtf dUeult dlicott
oeult S cott task of Imwo imprcvlns the human h i iswfoe race raceMe ram L Le L
Me li e has pondered the IIone bore tile os ox tile tilewIDe lb t
wine s wIDe th the beasts beat of the fleld and the theowte tilef lb e
fh f owls of the air and having observed ob that thatheredity thatbeftdtty lb lbtt tt t
heredity h controls predispositions pre or deter determmes etert i
< mmes mi milo nes temperamental t taJ qualities Hi these t tknHr then thenwer C
Ve lower lo V wer forms form of animal life Uf he realms by byanalogy bythat it Y r
e analogy that a like maueace labuenee must play pteyaa pin 7
i aa Uc Important sarI 1t la forming human humancharacter
c character He te going at his task te Isnlqui a aunique a1IDIque
unique u way wa Abandoning A the beaten path pat a ae
ba be b e ha boa appointed a coouatttee to take tatrewp takend up upand
and a bo nd devise means for f recording the lb value valueof valuef a aof J
of o f the blood aoot of the lb dMfereat races While WbIIenlla With e eeadof 9
bead b eadof of the t Hmn Z15iissta aata sMJnslitu njineihneiH I ht saattoa I Ir u
Dr D r Hayes worked With ptenu sad amv amvmsJa an I i
msJa m I and gave P bin heredity 17 Ideas es tally to tall fnflptey H
ptey pl ay y Now he wants to apply his scientmc scientmceductions is iseductions e
eductions d ons to human animals Pro ProfJames ProJ Pro C Cames
J James ames Wilson oe his chief t te In hearty sym sympathy a aathy ¬
P lath athy with his hi project as Prof Wlteoa Wlteoas WnoaDO Wise a ano
to II s ao slouch in judging the character of ofmen ofYeD s it iten
men m en even YeD without knowing < anything of oftheir oftheir s if
U their th eir supposed hereditary traits traitsSterytcllern traItLStftrytelltr
s Sterytcllern Pnut nnd Present PresentWhen PrCllcniWhen
When Fiddling FkIdH Bob taylor aywr JN11M puts en enChe C et ete
C Che th thc e toga BOW worn by the Hen K B W WCarmack Wthe 1 r rarmack
Carmack c armack the Senate will have hay In Its Itsmembership ItaODe I 12 12mombership
f membership one of the beat storytellers storytellersIn storytelkithe en enIn
B In the United States It te doubtful doubtfulhowever ul ulhowever doubtfsowever
h however owever whether the incoming Senator Senatora SeaatorMtWl Stash ii iia
I a a better narrator of droU tales than thanthe tballt this La Lahe
t the he outgoing Senator Senator Carmaek Carmaekte CUmaekthe trmat ik ikthe
h te the author of nearly as many good goodrtories goodttOlle8 got ad adtories a
f tories which whlell started at Washington Washingtonhave Wuhbt oa oabave 0 0ave
hco have h ave found their way all 11 through the thecountry tbecUDUY U to tountry 16
country co untry as even so noted a raconteur raconteuraIrate as asPrivate AIPrtft
j Private Prtft P aIrate John Allen Mr Carmacks Carmack Carmack1a1llll0r rmock rmockumor
humor fa umor like that of Mr dr r Allens Al1ea has a aenulao apout aenuine
pout g enulao Southern flavor but unlike the theatesusipplaa theMlatnipplan U to toIssIssIppIan
1 atesusipplaa M the Tennessoean has taken takenpreat takenpal taki at atreat n
g preat reat pains pal not to exploit his humor be beore be Ii 5 5the t I
tore ore the public He very rarely illus illustrates 1Uuetrat hUm 5 5int > ¬
trat t trates int a point in a speech with a story stem y yrobably 7
j Probably P the best storyteller now In the theSouse tbeHou tI is isouse
j Souse H e Is the Hon Eaton J Bowers cf cfMississippi ctimiol f fI
Mississippi I M imiol vice chairman of the Demo DelAOcratic fern 0 0rotic >
cratic c rotic Congressional onal Campaign Commit Committee It Itee t
t te tee ee Mr Bowers narratives narra es are crisp and andfresh andfrdh aa id idresh id
frdh f fresh and be has h been known to sit for fOlbown 0t 0tours HT
boars h ours reeling t off story after story no DOtwo i as aswo 10
two t wo of which seemed to b be even remotely remotelyrelated NmoteI7relatH remote remoteelated ly
related r or savoring vOrlB In the least of the theche8tDut ti tihestnut
chestnut c variety IDa store seems to be belexhaustlble benexhausuble
inexhaustible l Senator nator McLaurtn of Mis Misstesippl Mi8ppI afl J JisMpM
stesippl i ppI also is an excellent storyteller storytellerthough storytellerUIouxb storytellsthough
though since the disappearance of Vest v vIr Vet VetMr
Mr Ir Carmaek rmack Is generally pn ra1 conceded to be bethe betbe b bhe
the t to he best m hi the Senate Senator Spooner Spooneroccasionally SpoonerccuIona1l Spoon or orccaonaUy r
occasionally ccuIona1l o tens tell one that sets the Re Repubttcah Re ReJNbllca II e evbllch y
JNbllca pubttcah p vbllch cloakroom In adroar atar r but he is isvery IIver isvery
very ver select in his company and has been beenknown beenkDoWD be en ennown
known k nown to deny den the authorship of a a good goodstory goowtory ge oil oiltory
story s tory that crept c pt out outVIII outRun
Will Run the Wireless WirelessAmong WIrelcsnAmong lrclCJli lrclCJliAJDOng
Among other and perhaps the most ar arduoa a am amduouti r
duou duouti of the duties thai t tha will fall te t the Utelet I he heot >
lot l ot of oCLleut Lieut Frank Taylor Byaas BftM aboard aboardthe abonlthe olson mis mishe ll
the t he battleship Louisiana upon upo upo which whi wbl h the thePre t he hePresident te
President Pre ldht and party will travel to Paaa Paqa PaqaJDtl Pa Pau k
ma a u will 111 be that of keeping the world worldInformed wet Iel Ielnformed 14
informed I of such things done by the thePr t ii iiPresident
President Pr t as may IRa suit the Executive Exeeu ve to tobe tobe tobe J
be reported He will send wireless wlrel dte dtepatenes dJa dJapatebes ii Is Ispatches Ig
patches from the battle ship to the Roar Roareat no ar arcat
est land 00 station going and coming and andwill a ad adwilt
will receive all messages mes es sent to the thePretddent t Ire IrePresident
President or members of his party per Ly
Lieut Ji eut < Evan ftII is I a son of Fighting FI tlng Bolt Boeand Boltan Do it itand
and < a nephew of the late Admiral Taylor Taylorwho Tayli O Owho
who commanded tbe Indiana in the battle battleOf bat batOf
Of Santiago He is accounted an expert expertIn expi expiIn
in wireless telegraphy being bei one of the he
first officers of the navy DIlV who took up
this i newest DeWfJt means means of communication fo foserious for forHrtous ronsetIons
serious studs Probably the leading leadl ex exrt t lx lxpert
pert rt among al officers of the navy in wire wli e
lees telegraphy te raphy te Commander William WlllIi arn
Hogs H a Marylander aryJaDder whose father for torI11ftny rormany
many years was chief clerk of the Navy Na VT
Department Commander Hogg Her is now nowstationed ii ow owstationed
stationed at Pensaeoia Pta and It itsaid it 1 1said Is
said lei that i 1e e may soon bare some impor Important Imp o otaut
tant news to report concerning devetop deveh ii
meats ach achcved < ved under his supervision at atthe
the Pensaeoia station stationWanted pfatlonnntCll stationWafltel
Wanted nntCll the lie Money JloneJImiii Moneythi
Fran th tile 1 IfrOaadphia Pie PieTailorThere P PTailorThere Pirni PirniTaHoeThere
TailorThere now That suit it certainly certainlyfits eertalnl eertalnlfits lil lilIlls
fits you yOaJMrteot1 yOaJMrteot1CustomerYes perfectly perfectlyCustomer perfectlyCustomerYes
CustomerYes Customer Yes indeed you may safely sal ely
feel proud of that Its a a credit to you youTaIlorVellery I
Tailor TaIlorVellery Weller yes and I hcpe hcpeaont you youwont youwont rou Irou
wont forget for t that its a debit to you youOver youOcr youOver
Over the Wire WireFrom WireFineti Vlrc VlrcFrc81
From Twn Topics TopicsEdith To ToEdithHave ToideaEdithHave
Edith EdithHave Have you demanded an apology apologirom gy igyfrom
from Harold for calling you ou a prevarica prevaricator prevaricator prevari ra rator ¬
tor torWillie torWillieNo
Willie WillieNo Xo but I shall shalljust just as soon soonus oc on onas
us the shif shiftless tless fellow puts In a tele telepone teleponel ti tie tiepoziel le
pone ponel I
VIEWS OF SOUTHERN PRESS PEESSVarying PRESSnrylng PRESSarying
Varying V nrylng Opinion on the Slsrnlfi Slsrnlficniice Slgnlftenllce Signinentice
entice of HcnmtH Jlel1rllt Defeat DefeatFwm DefentProm
Prom Pr om the Ute LwrtsriH CJoMrlerJeurnaL OotuierJoumaIWhatvEir
Whatever the Individual Hearst lI afst may maybo mljboo
bo boo Q he is S not o Democrat Whatever WhateverHearsttem WhateverH18t1Bm
H Hearsttem eamstism may be be it is not Democracy DemocracyThat DemocmcrTllat
That Th at Hoarat gave utterance to many manyugly ftfUtyuGly
tf ugly ug ly truths during the justended ju cam campaign camneed ¬
paign pnI gn need not be denied but no eandi candidate
3 date da ta for efllce eSllc can bo separated from his htecharacter hlcbanlcter hisrcter
ct character rcter iris associates tell and nd his meth methods methods ¬
ods od s Hearst bought and paid for the Uteofficial theofficial
Of official afl ichil Democratic label Through bar drcain
gain ga in intrigue and treachery be made a afoul atout
foul fo 0 tit deal with Tammany With his mon money monalld ¬
ey 03 alld nd his machinery he constructed a aholding aholdmg a
holding ho lding company called the Indopead Indopeadence IJMt peDd peDdence
M ence ca re League L gue By the excesses J and Ad ex extrelniam
trantem tr emlim of his newspapers he h consoIWat consolidated
ed J the labor union vote All UI thin was waspurely wasp
P1 purely p p rely personal politics selftsh politico polldcevenal poUdvenal
v venal ve < nal politics At the best It could only onlyhave OR1yhave
IK have ha ve substituted ub tJtutccI in New York for a cur corrupt eoInJpt
n rupt ru in Republican ring a corrupt Hearst Hearstriag HerStriIIg
riag riagBut riIIgBat r ing
But its triumph would ovid have lNaveholleSt m mhonest
honest bO m t Democrats all over the land Its Itstriumph Itatrlump Itsiumph
tt triumph iumph would ould have poured into the next nextnominating nextnomtJaatJng
m nominating no minating Democratic national eorPtlon etnweit COliVt3flS
ti Uon Oit a flood of base money a flock of ofunclean oruneMn S
t unclean u birds of prey pre and a noisome noisomeomnium noI OMC OMColftniam
o omnium gatherum of mercenaries mereen rfes adven adventurers udentor ¬
ti turers tor tu rer and cranks It would have both bolhdtverted bothand
diverted < n and deflowered all Democratic Democraticstandards D locratJcaDdaRia inoeratjt
standards aDdaRiaDeath
Death were preferable to this Hap Happily HappU ¬
p pily pU pl ly the party ty ta spared it IL For good goodor
01 or r evil nil for success or defeat it will wllIgo wllIgoa go goahead I
ahead a aB head d and nominate William Jennings JenningsBryan
B Bryan B ryan putting him upon a a high and andsound aac18MIDd
sound Democratic platform and with withprayers wttlapraJe1ll
p prayers aDd hope giving the ticket withI and andthe aDdUte I
tl the th e nag ftagTo dog
To ro th the God of o Storms StormsIl
The lightning Il tnloCand and the gale galefraai galern
fraai r m tat tMIt theIt IHchmiiJ Tfa aDHpafeh aDHpafehIt
It is to the credit of the voters yote of that thatState thatState
S State tate and to the spirit of Democracy Democracygenerally Democraqgenerall
g generally that the wisdom of the people peoplejustified peoplejuatifted a
j justified utlfled < itself Hit by declining to honor W WR WR
lw r R R l Hearst with the office of governor governorwhile governorwhile governorI
t while w hile in every other important instance ln taace taaceDemoeratle I
I Democratic D emocratic nominees were elected I t It Ithas Itbu Ii
IiC
h has a been remarked that Americans are areoften 8ftotten C S
o often ften apt a to question the endurance of oftlaelr o I
ot
t their heir institutions hut tuttou Such doubts could not notbe aotbe ate I Ie
t be b e better removed than by the example
of 0 1 New York York which JtJcb has again UHlUaitile assent seseried I
t the he capacity tpatt and the willingness wI of the thepeople tb t
I people p to judge J e for themselves lP and judge Ju6gecorrectly C
c correctly co rrectly even under the stress of vie TIe TIeIe vient
tent le nt excitement and great provocation provoeati provoeatiPr
2 PhM F r tat Atlanta tIuta Otoni Ge rIIiuCroker
Croker and Roosevelt and the Boodle Boodlebag BoocUeMe e
eS
t bag b ag were the trinity that overcame the tileMOJ tb tbeople S
j people p and their champion in New Yerk YerkHe
Torip
He H e has thousands tho ef trIeD m every evm t17 t17sate p
State S late of the republic and that he I te the thereal 1Mreal tb tbai t
real ai Idol aad leader of the ptem plaiapeople S
people p eople of America no man who whoaDd has ha I Iyes
eye e yes aDd brains can deny He has hasno hasoa ha i
no reason to be discouraged after afterthe aftertile alto
the ti le magnificent eat light t he baa made made2fe madeo cle cleco
2fe o man who 110 ever figured in our ourktetory OUIJd oat
ktetory b lolory has fought suck odd odck It waaat oatt t teC
much of a victory after at all an and Ms aar aarrawness
rawness should move the victors to nezI ku ka kamIIIt7 haUlti I
i mfltty m Ulti and reform
J Phm 1It the AUMU JsiL Ta ia L
It seems ems to indicate that the Democrat D Dant e
DemocratC
are anything ydda but harmonious ever the uof Lb Lbim C
propoaftioa P ° im of accepting Mr Hearst HeMIItleader ae a a
loader l ead sad rather baa the teadeaey 7 we wesbould n C aC
should s think thtnk to dIscourage ate IdstIoa aaalra aaalrations nI I I
tions d ons toward national leadership Jead nldpP leadershipian
Fma F ian the Mrailaihiiii NimanThe Ae H lMI LThe aU
The defeat of Hearst has cleared the tIIiIIwa7 Ut a s
way again for William J Bryan BryuPN
F PN > W the jiinsUaaiiT tzuer 11 11 Adwrtaw A ATIle
The result ought t to show air Hearst HMratthat Heart it t
that he cannot carry the State awl thai tIIIttIlia tin tinProddeutlel t
hte PreaMeadat Pr ldd asfaratkiaa uo ai are bteetod 1JiItwaWLiYely I ILively
Lively iIIMs ilia ea is are an ahead but the Demo Dterado feintrotic
crado e rotic party w we fear wilt not be the UMIIbIeI Ut a
gateer by b the strife strifeIt atUeUte
Pmo Ute NWt NWtIt Nn15 Lsit LsitIt
It was a a bad day for Hearst a1 aid Heezwt Heezwtinn Heantma Hesr L
inn It te a pity 7 that the majority JIIjedtyu against againstthe again it ithe
the u t he man was net three times ae great but butIt 1MatIt b at att t
It I t was enough to give a very JMfteuu set setback Ietk so t theck ¬
back k to his plea of making kill hlmeeV mmeea Pres President ha haIdeDt Ire a
dent I by d die e unlimited use of oCpMDea mud in mega megaphones I IOs ¬
phones Os and aa1ftIea money moneyFn mon montee
Fn 1ftIea i the 1UWB sisI ThMt ThMtHearst 1tIIaam 1 1lkrst
Hearst m te not the type of man to be behonored beboDOIfd I to
honored by the American people peopleBiff peopleDig peopleDig
Dig Fortune in Automobiles AutomobilesVnm AutomobileslIna Automobilesprim
prim the WatUa Vto VtoThe v vThe vanautomobiles
The 3Nt9B automobiles now in nee u m Ia Iacludlat Ii C Cu1oes
eluding aXOW 000 motor cycles worth not BOttbaa mere merethan tate me methan e
than 399 u on an average will scarcely seareeI7amount searee ly lyamount r
amount to more than tb nee 990eniG In vatee vateeWith nlueWith 0 0wt
With wt a production po uctio Increasing about ft per percent Per Percent er ercetit r
cent every year they the represent the out output output on t tof
put of three years manufacture Th ne neInvated TI to
invested capital in automobile buUd buUdmaytJaerJore bulidir bulidirmay building tog K
may maytJaerJore therefore be estimated e at about aboutOft 9Kt 9Kton iS r rL
L on the assumption which holds holdsIOO4Approdmately bob te isgood
good IOO4Approdmately approximately In similar indvetriee indvetrieethat laGtriestbat a athat G
that the Lb capital reproduces itself gross STOeftfy grot a aevery
every year The total vaIUtI valuation of the theIndustry thebMJu ti to toIndustry 10
Industry try to date in rough wgures gures is Isabout
about 52750000W 7S000 I Yet to buy and operate operatean opera to toall
all the automobiles m itt the world would woo kl klco Idcost 4
cost leas than onefourth of the amount tspent amen I Ispent at
spent for alcoholic liquor ia the Untied Uniti ad
States fop foone one year yearSenatorial yearSenatorial ea eaSenntorlnl
Senatorial Appetite Appetiteam AplletltePN
PN Fr am UM FMMefeMa I PhhkdtI 111 PwUfe L Le wIt Ledgermalel str strIt
It Is said that cornedbeef hash 11MbMa ae aemade I Iritade
made Ma by Senator Hannas Ilanna cook wag very Vt17popular ye F FPPr
popular PPr in Washington a gtoa several years yr ears ago a aWhen 10 10hen j
When hen the head waiter of tbe Senate ree IM IMtauraatt me metaurant ¬
Uiursuit wanted hash prepared very care carefully canttully car 0 0fully
fully be ordered it this tl way wayOne wayODe wayOne
One cornedbeef bash for Senator SenatorHaana SenatorHallftL Senst o oHanna
Hanna HaanaOne HallftLOne HannaOne
One day when the restaurant was do dolag deJag d 0
lag a heavy business almost everybody everybodeemed everyboi everyboito 13 jy
ocemed to want cornedbeef hash hashCornedbeef ha haCornedbeef
Cornedbeef hash for Senator Hanna Haamahad I Ihad 1 I
had been ordered fourteen times When Whentile WIII m enthe
the fifteenth order went down to the tJIekitchen he M
kitchen the theechef chef shouted shoutedTbot J Jrtaats 5
Thats Tbot s fifteen orders for Senator Han Hanna BanDI1 Ha a aan n
na Hed better watch out or hell be JI found fOmler fOun ii iieritleedf fl
cr eritleedf hleeeif
laIaeeIA
Ai A a n Last ExtremeJraa Extreme ExtremeOnce ISxtrcmethe
Jraa the rttiWeI Phdelpha l Mc I IOnce Leletr LeletrOnce
Once a a number of O legal lights ll ts in Wash Washington Was WashIngtOR hhngton h
ington were gathered in the smoking smokingroom smokingfOOD suroki ig Osrosin
room of a lawyers club when W 1t the tlk tlkturned t1kturned ta HJ 1kturned
turned to a discussion eion of the veracity of oflawyers oflawyens oflawyers f
lawyers The average man remarked remarkedone reDMrkedone remark aid aidone
one disciple of Blackstone seems only onlytoo onlytoo or lly ilytoo
too ready to assume assum we are ail liars liarsery liarsi a averv t tvery
very ery MB unjust PodtioR it seems to me Do Dowe Do1e Dowe °
we not sometimes tell the truth he heasked heasked heasked e
asked of his neighbor a wellknown crim crimimil crfmIMI crhi In InImil n
imil lawyer lawyerCertaialy lawyerCertalnly lawyerCeitalntY
Certaialy promptly responded re poncJed tho tholatter tholatter t he helatter 0
latter We Ve will do anything sometimes sometimeste som U 88 enwin
te win a case caseAn cam camAn
An Astnniidlnjr Reply ReJIITF11a ReplyFatal I IFnn
Fatal UspJaoott UspJaoottOne LigdsuttsOne
F11aOne
One day at Latin recitation JoIInR JoIInRJones Johnny JohnnyJones Jub 1 1Jones
Jones was 1 Wa so drowsy that when the pro professor proidSOr o Otensor ¬
tensor asked for the conjugation of a cerv cervtain ce ci tr trthin l
thin verb < b he failed to catch it It and turn turning turnIn tuc tuclug n ¬
lug In to Ms bosom friend inquired What Whatverb Whatr WhatDamOIlO WuI lot lotyrb
verb r
verbDamflno
Damflno whispered his companion companionDamflno companionDamJIno L
Damflno damftnare dumflnavl datnA datnAnatum damftnatum da danatum
natum said Johnny Tobnn Jones to the lior liorriiled 1101rt hi hirltiM
led rt professor profeesorPVoM sor
sorB1
B1 Bagged Je l him 111mPrcIIM himPr
PVoM Pr DM tile Qdeaaa News NewsTom NewsTomI NewsTomI
Tom TomI I hear Fred is married I always alwasthought alwi ys LYSthought
thought he was too timid for anything of ofthat orthat ofthat
that kind kindJack kindTackOh kindjackOh
Jack TackOh Oh he married a widow wIdowlolllA widowTomA
Tom lolllA A widowS Where here did he meat her herJtlckHe ha ir irJackHe ir
JackHe didnt meet her at all alii she sheovertook sheovertook abeovertook he
overtook him
HEAKCTAT HEARD AT HOTELS HOTELSThis
UTJI1 This I Is one that I did not tell on n my myself mysol lUYf ¬
self sol f until a lea long g while after it hap hapPfaed hapPfaedbcauee 1aaraedcauee jed jedbecause
b because bq cauee at the Urn i was a very v ry y ing ingarid anKand mgtI
arid ail tI struggling lawyvt and didnt n rdll rdlltJtfl r lisM lisMthe Lsae
the th e job said Mr C t H Alexander of ofJaekeon orTek ofckson
Jaekeon Tek Ja ckson oll one of th the nv mt m at t successful uc fJ1 prac practitioners pracUtionen placloners ¬
titioners th loners at the Minaisffpp bar in I conver conversation ConerMUon con er ertion ¬
sation ra tion with a group of friends at the Ar Arlington ArilnglOn Argtflr ¬
T
lington lingtonAn ilnglOnAn iln gtflr gtflrAn
An old colored man entered my office officeone oiIccday tlce tlceon
one on day and Jad after saluting me m with Ith great greatgttrvfty greatgraotty greata1ty
gttrvfty gm a1ty told me that he had got into a atittle alittle atle
J
little lit tle trouble with his hi wife and camf cant to tome tome toe
me m e to get a vidation which I comtly comtlysarmtetd cornflynrm rtrr4 tIy tIyriniet4
sarmtetd nrm sv riniet4 was wa a divorce He saH sa ho hadundertakea landdertaken had liadundertaken
undertaken un dertaken to correct her h r about some something SOlnething 1fl 1fling ¬
thing th ing whereupon the old oman an mrd up upon upon uphim
o on him making it necessary npetJ nry for him to tochastise tocba toastise
chastise cba ch astise ttf > her a bit but that subsequently subsequentlyhome SUbM14flltlyhome subsequntlyme
home ho me life had been f < n unpleasant and h hwanted he hent tieentesi
wanted w entesi nt 1 a separation aep I told him to 1 1me e ehome ghome <
home ho me and get on amicably and dismiss dismissth I11mbsthe dimhse
th the e idea Idt i > a of divore He seemed to arquiesce 8CIutHleI ar aciesca
quiesce qu < iesca in my counsel but said he didnt didntknow didntknow didntow
know kn ow whether his family famU troubles trou t o emld emldbe culdpatched > uld uldbe
be patched up upAbout upAbout upAbout
About a month later the old man managain managain nanain
again ag ain entered my offir otflce He said hf > r wi wibound was WilSbound wasund
bound bo und to quit his wifr wit that he had be ten tenrced 1Otn 1Otnro < n nforced
forced ro rced ed to defend dff > nd himself hims 1f from her and andthat aD1that an4at
that th at she had caused him to be arrested arrestedand arrestedand atretitedd
i and an d the judge found him himYou 25 25You 25 25You
You old rascal I IIkI said Youvf You yr i ihipping ien ienwhipping een eenWblpplnt
i whipping w hipping your wif < again 1 tJn < You cant get getany getny et etaJ11
any a ny divorce for that tha t but she he can get one onefrom onefrom oneorn
f from m orn you If she is L willing mlng as s you Hay Hayto i8Yto sayseparate
to separate let l t her bring the suit sui and anda anda anddivorce
a divorce will be granted her on acount acountyour < count countof Cjuntof
of your cruel treatment This will relieve relieveyou rf reilrof > L LY
you Y of aay necessity of employing a law lawyer lawyer lawer ¬
j yer y er for your wifes lawyer Irtwy r will bring the thedesired thedesired theesired
c desired d result t He H thanked me m profusely profuselybowed pIOftIeIrbowed piofuelyowed
bowed b owed low and d dpatted > parted leaving I a < i ithink tu tuUlak toink
bth
think th ink I had seen n th ttlt last of hits hfanHere bImHere hitsHere
Here te where I jrufssed U5U5d wrong fcr it itwas Itwas itas
was w as not more than tha n a iI fortahjist oath he heonce heeaee hence
once o nce more stood in my rA71 preatac 11 Wha What Whatis wiratit t tI
is j it this thl time Have you and the old oldwoman oldwoman oldoman
woman w < oman made up upNo upNo upNo
No sab la we isnt and Iee r her to toget t1get I Iet
9 get et you to stet me te t get fled ouied from fro dat datote datote date
ote ol ° e critter and here the ancient lien 8engamtytn leno lenopmbt lienaml4an
gamtytn g pmbt ll piled out a snog tell of bills billsand billsaDd billsnd
and a nd told me he was ready to pay pa my fee feethen teethtn feehen
t then hen and andtbere andtbereBut there thereBut thereBut
But didnt I tell you that you youcouldnt youcouldnl yououldna
e couldnt ouldna get a divorce wee that your bad badtreatment IrddtreatmfntJutIAal badeatment
t treatment treatmfntJutIAal tr justiaed your wife m securing securingone KCIrlngone securingne
one o ne and didnt t I tell you to have her hire nirea hirea Aiim Aiimlawyer
s a lawyer lawyerYes la lawyerYes wy rT rTYfs
Yes unit oafs jes what whatand yaw d din dinnd m mand < >
a ali and ala nd she done Went sOd hired a food foodlawyer loodlawer goodwyer
li lawyer la wyer who say be swine to f t act er eriervorce erdeno erervores
d deno d iervorce iervorceThen ervores ervoresThen e
1beB e1beB Then what oa earth do 7 yea need needwith Deedwith needith
f with w ith a JIM er erI
I Jesr waata wMainbavyouohosiy have yea sen Ia on jr jrsfctese
s sfctese side M as ie ieTbe Idt Idtrile
rile Tbe defeat of Oi > gMiamnaii McCIeary McCIearyof
of o f our State caa he directly charged up upto upto upthe
t to the operation of the primary election eIeetionstem electionystem
system s stem said Sea W H H Eastte 1 usths one oneof ontor a af
of o f tIM leading lawyers of Mmaeapolis Mmaeapolisaad Mapolisformer olis olisIUICI
aad former mayor of that city at the theKew theew
3 Kew l ew Willard WillardThere WIllardThese
WWanLwere
There were several mmUdatrtt t far 01 the theDomination thetiaa themInotMt
j Domination mInotMt tiaa which McCIeary won m the thePrimaries thtwltIa theimrles
j Primaries with the result that the men menM men1Ie nicee
j 1Ie b M e defeated and their followers sjot even evenhy evena eveny
hy a y throwing their ballots to the Demo Democratic Democratic Demoratic ¬
cratic c ratic candidate at the regular election electionIt electionIt ctlou ctloua
It waa a surprise and a sore disappoint disappointmeat dimppolntentire int intIMItt
meat to the entire State that eo good and and1I andseful
useful u seful a Representative aa MeCfeary has hasproved haIIOYei basroved
l proved p roved to be should go down to de defeat dett deeat ¬
1 feat f eat at the hands of men of hte hi own ownparty 0 ownparty n npart
j party part A minor factor In his case was his hhr hisather
i rather r r tIIer extreme position tioa on the tariff He Heh HeIII Hewidely
I h widely 1 known as the most stalwart stalwartataaopatter stalwarttaaiatter a rt rttJlltter
ataaopatter 2 taaiatter tJlltter ia the country and It te un unC unuesdomably
qvaedoaabiy C q doBab17 true ins that t there exists in inMinnesota inXllaDaOta iratiiineota
Minnesota a strong sentiment in favor fa of ofmodification ofuieau ofsiedacatlen
modification uieau of existing Kh dWQ schedules schedulesH icbi dule dule1e
1e H was beaten by oae of the best bestmaa best1st
maa ift the Democratic Uc ranks however howeverW howeverW eT eTV
W S V S S Haaaaoad 1iJ1an 1gI = r1 4 ot ol o St James J a lawyer lawyeref JaWeef
ef 1 ability ad high character Oar town townof torof townf
of o f Miaaeapoite poII ateo sends a brand new newOoMgreasmaa newCeasnu newto
OoMgreasmaa Ceasnu to Washington aa the su sucessor auCft8OI sueor <
cessor c eor of Uncle Lbrin Fletcher Hs Hsname H Heta HIs
name eta is Frank M Xye brother of the th theetebrated thicelebrated
celebrated humorist Bill Nye He does doesnot dot dotDOt docanet >
not shine Iae as a fanny maa as dU the thearnosu
famous fa f arnosu William being of a more serious serioustnra aerioust1lnl seriousturn
turn of mind but be will wllllIOt not fail to im impress Im1WJ Improm ¬
press his future tIOlJ colleagues with the no noUea no notiea nohou
Uea t hou that he te a man of excellent t parts partsaad partwen partsad
aad ad well equipped ae a a national fegis le legisater is
lator latorMr JatGrMr l aterilr
Mr ilr D A A A Tompatea TOlD of Charlotte one oaeof
of the bestkaowa Jmowa cotton eot manufacturers manufacturersof
of the Sooth te at the Raleigh Mr MrTaatpfclns MrTetlll Mrr
Taatpfclns Tetlll r anplrim kluaad aad eome eta of hte brother milllJte18 mill mittof
lJte18 awaers of North Carolina are ta a bit bitet bittrouble
W et trouble with the lb Federal government governmentIt governmentsamns
It seems that employment was recently recentlyIYen recentlygiven
given to a number of European unean brnni Immlia hurnigtats
grants ia in the Charlotte factories and the thefiMCt thefAct thefact
fAct being brought to the attention of ofUte oftite
the Washington authorities aa agent agentwas agent1M agentSouth
was seat South to Investigate aa w whet WhHI WhHIer whether li ¬
er the law against contract labor had ha hailbeen d dbeen
been violated Whatever view was w taken takenby taktnhI takenby
by the official it resulted m III the auspen A sumpenlon n nslOB
slOB lon of the aliens from icia work hat they th theyare y yare
are still being detained In Charlotte m mthe n nthe nevent
the event Vfnt the government may require requirethem requirethem
them as witnesses 8esBorn witnessesOld
i
Born m Old Ireland aDd coste co ta this thiscountry thiscouatry thiscountry
country a mere ted without wi a dollar dollarPatrick tlelJarPatrick dollarPOtrick
Patrick Clarke e of Spokane by dint of ofuaceastng orURCeUlnlr ofunosasing
uaceastng iaduetry and a eoacage that thatnever thatnefti thatnever
never failed climbed up the ladder of ofsttocwBev ofvatt1 ofwith
sttocwBev with today he te accaonted bid one onfAor onethe
of the wealthiest men In the State tate of ofWashington ofWashhto j
Washhto Washington lI8hhI tANL Mr Clarke who te at the thaNew theN theNew
New N Whorl 1ari with bin wife has dug d his hiafortune hi hisfortune L Lfortune
fortune out of the gravne P1I9DII being owner ownorof ownerof > r
t
of heavy f1 paying copper properties iperdes dee to his hisoM hisokl ha haoki
oM home e at t Butte beshtes valuable gold goldmines goldmines Id Idmines
mines ia 1 Nevada and Southeastern Cali Californta CalifernlA Califorum
forum Ms oldest daughter dau bter < Is a gradir grad gradate
ate x of f the Convent of the Visitation in inGeorgotowa inGcorgoto InGeorgetown
Georgetown Gcorgoto and nd two younger daughters daucbtersare
are MOW attending tOielIng tue e same schooL echooLTIle orhoolThough
Though TIle 1f ColI Hl 1 past st the half century mark markMr marktr
Mr tr Clarks thick suit of hair te yet yetaatoHcaetl yetRtOllcllMl yetnotoaeknd
aatoHcaetl toy the frost of time and h hI hIIs ho hoas < >
is as agat of walk as a youth Ilk good goodplystmie
pkysl plysq < n being the result of temperate temperatehabits tellllJel8teJllaWS tempamatehbtts
habits aDd much mountaindimbiag < in inhte in1dI inhis
his youth youthTbe yetithThe mIL mILTlle
The Republicans R publleans carried thiaga tht ll8thflr ll8thflreWR their theirown theIrown
own way In Montana he said and andtltoQp andthOtiph
though I am not an extreme partisan 1 1rejoice Irejolte
rejoice at their success for ODe thing tbIngit
it leeks as though h it meant the return t h hthe to tothe < >
the United States Sonate of ray very veryclose veryclose Ty Tyclose
close friend Hon L Lf Let c Mantle Ive just justlaul jUtlthat1 justa
laul a wire that tells me his prospects pr08pec ar arieoo amThirty
geod ieoo Thirty years ago Lee Mantle and I Iwant Iwont J JUnt
want Unt to Batte B1Itt and lye known him inti intimutely lath lathirately t
mutely all this time I am not inip imPtDed lmpdhedfi1enklp illed
11 ay frlen fi1enklp rl Bhip ia saying that he is i one oneof oneof
of UM best sad truest men in the whole wUoleland wholeland bOle bOleland
land and that it would be an honor to tolrntaa toisroataua
Montana to send nd him back to the t ht > Sea SeDate Seaate
ate It will be a personal Mll nal sacrifice > f for forbhn forbIIR forhint
hint to come for since quitting office offlc he hehas heau hehas
has been meet fortunate In his mining miningventures miningwntur miningventures
ventures wntur and he te now easily worth worthlOIG worthOne
lOIG OO
OOOne
One Way ny of Fairing Iairll1 Off OffF OffFma
Fwa F the Boaton Hcnld llftaklA MoaldA
A number of years ago ag at a small town townla toWYlal townt
la t Maine > al an Important local election t was wasto wasto
to take place pIa and there tle was strong stroiujriv st strival strongrivalry
riv rival rivalry lr I > Between HIP > Republicans and andDemocrats andDemocrats andDemocrats
Democrats Old Hiram Mprsc the black blrtckmith b1ackmIth blackznIth
mIth mith was a strong Democrat 1 omocrat but many manyof manycf manyof
of the farmer wore Wf Republicans HepublicansOn
On the morning 01 o Uie he eh election ction a farmer farmercame farTDelcame farmercame
came in to have his horse horseblacksmith shod The Theblacksmith Theblachl
blacksmith blachl 1ith said to him Were hotbbusy both bothbusy > th
busy Youre a Republican and Im In a aDemocrat apnocrat
Democrat pnocrat Lets pair pez fr Wfii W V I 1 p vi > ither itherof i therOf r rof
of us vote vpte pte and it will tty lHnt unt tq a i the thesnme theSlIme thesame
SlIme as if we both went toth t U the pui v < d dThis L 3 3This
This was agreed grMd upon After election eiect1Qntt
it was found out that Morse had paired pairedoff pairedot
off with five Republican Rep 3 ean farmers

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