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The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, February 02, 1908, Second Part, Image 18

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Persistent link: https://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83045433/1908-02-02/ed-1/seq-18/

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2 TRE TE WASHINGTON HEEALD HEALDSUNDAY SUNDAY FEBRUARY FEBRUARY 2 21508 180 JJ A
r s
A BACHELOR R GIRL CHAT CHATMODERN CHATMODERN
MODERN IMPROVEMENTS IN WIVE WIVEBY WIVES WIVESBY
BY HELEN ROWLAND
After all remarked rrk 4 the Bachelor BachelorGirl BachelorGirl BcheIorGirl
Girl thoughtfully tho httull jingling Jht < lIft the th latch key keyIn keyIn keyIn
In her pocket matrimony I Is being be won wonderfully wondfrtullY wondrfu1ty ¬
derfully mitigated by modern inventions inventionsisnt InWeftUouIsnt lttvenUonaIsn
isnt Isn t It Hefts Heve an advertisement in thIs thtmorninls thIsmorntng tbtemornings
mornings paper of a selfrocking cradle cradleand cradleBnd cradIazid
and another of a settcooking range rangeand ranSIand rngeAnd
and andAnd And now no exclaimed tiie the Mr Mera Man Mancynically Mncynia1Iy Ian Ianonically
cynically It If t w we coukl only Ii discover a aself aul P PsIfamustng
self ul sIfamustng t amusing husband husbandThere huelNlndThere husbudThere
There are plenty at of those Mr Porter PorterAnd FortrA PorterAnd
And A nd a selfraising seIfratetn child childHow etdldHow childIlow
How perfectly lovely lovelyAnd hneyAn lovelyAn4
And An a 86lfnaytnff ieItJUUt expense account accountThe aocount aocountThe scountThe
The Bachelor Girl clapped her herwith hand handwith hndp hndpwith
with delight delightSit deUchtSit deIIhtstt
Sit down downr she cried making ktn room roombeside 1OOftbfoslde reo reobesIde
beside herself herHlfM on ps the studio st dtvan I Ilike IlIke Ilike
like your mood today to Mr Porter PorterThe PortwThp Pert i iThe
The Mere Mans Man cynicism dissolved be beneath be ben6ath beneatli ¬
neath her smile Re M the clouds beneath the thesun thesun thesn
sun sunor
Of course cour be said Id sympathetically sympatheticallyas
as he sank gratefully ratefidly into the theSltt proffered profferedsoat woitere4seat
seat its rather hard on you women womenHard womenHard weinenItard
Hard on us The m Bachelor c io Girl drop dropped dropped droppd ¬
ped her newsoaper ne per with a tinkle of silver silverbangles silverha Dverb8ngl
b8ngl b8nglThis ha bangles banglesThis ngle ngleThis
This taking your Job out of your yourhands yourhands yourhands
hands explained the Mere Mao liaR out ut of ofthe ofthe ofthe
the hands band8 h he added with Ith a i sfeh that thatoncf thatO thotonce
once O fP rocked the cradle and ruled uIed the theworld therld thewrld
world rld
rldThpy
They never did retorted the Bach Bachelor BacbJnr Bachclr ¬
elor Jnr Girl promptly At least not the thesame theamp theam
same amp am hands and she picked up her herbrushes h herbrushes r rbrushes
brushes and slipped on her studio apron apronwith apronlth apronwitit
with lth a shrug ah of her h r shoulders era Thats Thatsa
a misleading 111 ilil adlng old proverb she l e continued continuedleaning eontla eontlaleanIng continuedeanlng
leaning over to put the finishing touch on onthe onthe onthf
the halo of a pink and purple Madonna Madonnainvented adonnainwnted Ladonnainvented
invented in order to deceive u t into intokeeping Intokffpll1l hitokeeping
keeping our hands out of masculine af affairs affairs f ffairs ¬
fairs The hands han that rule the world and andalways andalwa andalways
always alwa s have ruled it it ar are the ones that thatwear tbatPat thatwear
wear Pat diamonds and number Jive gloves glovesand glovenand ovn ovnand
and polish their nails and are rc put in incold Inold inCold
cold old cream overnight and dipped in rose rosewater IORIlt rosewatr
water Ilt r everjf ef ryf morning montln You never heard heardof heanof heardot
of ot Queen Elisabeth 1labeth or ilrae vne Pompa Pompadour Pompadur Pompaduur ¬
dour or Cleopatra C tra or Joan of Arc or orNell orNtl orNell
Nell Gwynneor Gwynne G wynne or Boadfee Boa4ieM or Helen of ofTroy ofTroy ofTroy
Troy of Lucerexia Borgia a or any woman womanwho womanslio oman omanho
who ho ever influenced a country or a king kingrocking klqro kingroeking
rocking ro king a cradle did you 1 If they the had hadrocked hadroeked
rocked 1 kld cradles you wouldnt have heard heardof heardof heardof
of them at all and 114 she put a fine ft line lutearound linearUnd lineuruud
around the halo hal with a confident sweep sweepof sweepor sweepof
of her brush brushOh brWlhOh brush0h
Oh The Mere Man n clear his histhroat bthroat histhroat
throat desperately If you mean that thatnun tbatOwn thatrntfl
nun are occasionally begutMed by byltIlRtxfd an anunseed anIstXd
unseed IstXd unnatural dangerous creature1 creature1or ereatJUor
or that t lat kind kindI klnd klndI
I mean that they always a1wa are re rejint rejInl
1 jint jInl inea > d the Bachelor Girl decisively If Ifthey Uthf ILthe
they the werent and she he laughed softly softlythat aoftlythat softlythat
that kind wouldnt be dangerous dangerousAnd aDcerouA dangerousAHL
And A AHL HI she added pushing back her ban bancleg banglu banries
cleg and squinting thoughtfully at the theInlo theh1o theh3lo
Inlo if it should ahem come to a choice be betv be betw
tv 11 < n being called a dangerous creature creaturer
IIr r dubbed a domestic frump nine wo woUifn wo wonin wefliffl
Uifn out of ten would break aU the crad cradto cNds crod1s
1s s to pieces and nd fling ftl them Into the thelire tbelrf
lire
I 1 do believe they the would exclaimed exclaimedtif exc1alMeclt1f exclaimedt
tif t Mere Ierf Man with conviction convictionBut convictionB coinvktlonflut
But B 11t they t he dont have to retorted the theBa theRadlflJr theBahehr
Ba RadlflJr > iielor Girl cheerfully Thanks to the theiirubitor thelIfuhator thecihtor
iirubitor and the selfrocking cradle cradleand cradleand cradlefl1141
and the French nurse and the beauty beautysperj beautyJJfitll beautysijef
sperj sijef JJfitll iliht I t a woman nowadays can be b as asdangerous uditngrou8 asJngorous
dangerous as 5 Circe or Medusa and still stillmanage Btillnanagt stillmaTlHge
manage to be some m sort of wife and andmother andYes
mother motherYes 1 1ot htr htrYf
Yes Yf agreed a ne4the the Mere Man wryly wrylyhut wrylytnlt wrylyhut
hut what sort of wife wtf and mother motherThe motherTht motherTI
The TI > very fry latest patent returned the theBa theHtlhlor theTn
Ba Htlhlor lu hdor lor Girl with a triumphant wave of ofher Oflfr ofuier
her brush The readymade sort tortwar tortwarrant sortwarraoted war warranted ¬
ranted rant d to fit any kind of domestic or orprifti 01l oreui9l
prifti l situation The sort that you find finde aMtTyhere
e try tTyhere where in society and apartment apartmenthotels apartmentlltEjS apartmenthutel
hotels and around bargain counters and andall and1I
all 111 1I womens clubs And if she isnt exact eatsctU exactwhat exacti
U i what your our youthful fancy painted paintedu l lOil
> Oil < w > u must remember that its It your own ownfault ownfault ownfault
fault that she Is what she is I If she ritehadnt sheltaInt sheitatlilt
hadnt discovered that while the hand handtint handtll1t handtht
tint rocked the cradle was U getting Kettln cal calloused callou callouel ¬
loused lou ftl on the Inside l and knotty on the theKnuckles thej theUUkle
j Knuckles UUkle you ou were off kissing the hand handthat handtllat handthat
that wore > diamonds and had time to keep keepItself keflptilllf keepItlf
Itself manicured she would still be beiefully beNisllully beUsefully
Nisllully > Usefully imagining that the nursery nurseryrooking nune17rlking nurseryrking
rooking chair hair was w the throne seat It Ittook IttOfJk Ittoulc
took a long time and many shocks sheek hoc to towake toak towake
wake ak us out of that peaceful dream dreamShocks drea dreaShocks dreamShocka
Shocks The Mere eJe Man looked lookeelir as asif asIf
if h he had at that moment received one oneThe OReThe oneThe
The Bachelor Girl turned and regarded regardedhim reprdedhint regardedhint
hint loftily loftilyDont lOftilyDout loftilyDout
Dout yOu suppose e dhe he Inquired in a apatronizing apatronizing apatronizing
patronizing tone that it was U a shock to tothe tot tothe
the t hfl Roman ornan matrons to discover c1f8co that a aso a aof
so l if r honor like Marc 4are Antony could couldMt couldSH couldsek
Mt anything anythl in a snakelike creature creaturewith creaturewith creaturewith
with an Egyptian nose and rings on her hertofs hertos hertos
tos and no reputation to speak of ofand ofand ofand
and dont you suppose e that its It a a new newsh newsuik newaliok
suik sh < v k every ev ry tim time w we find out that some somemasculine somemasculine somenasculine
masculine paragon who whohas has ba been writing writingi
i of > f preaching prf > athlng about the sacredness sacrednHII of the theAmerican theA theJuiierlcan
American A home or painting Madonnas Madonnasiins Xadonnas1c1 Madonnas1ias
iins 1c1 gone oft and gotten himself tangled tangledup tan tangledJp ed edup
up Jp with a Circe and overturned all our ourtheories ourtheoorifI ourtheorios
theories The trouble is Js and she he turn turned turnfJ turncii ¬
ed back to her easel once more mor that a aman aan a1an
man an always has wanted nt a Madonna and anda
a Circe mixed Delilah and a Gretchen Gretchenworked G Gretchenworked tehen tehenork
worked ork d Into one And at last weve dis discovered dls dlslonred diainvered ¬
covered how to give ve it to him Weve Wevefound Wevefcunl Wevefcund
found out that we can keep k the domestic domesticmachinery domeliJtlcmach domesticrIaehnery
mach machinery tlfr running runnl and nd at the same time timetnaroel tinwTMlrfpl timeTarPl
tnaroel the th hair by rocking rockln < the cradle cradleproxy radlej tSdlexrox
j > proxy Irnx and living Uvln < in apartment hotels hotelsitul hotfqnd hotelst1d
itul nd buying hurIn < the tb childrens bildren clothes ready readymade readylIHI readyuauie
made lIHI and pinning ptnnl our faith to bachelors bachelorsbuttons bachelorshittflnll bachelorsitttns
buttons and holeproof holeproolllOCk MckS But it Isnt Isntmuch bJn bJn11I11I Isntu1e1I
much fun and the Bachelor Girl sighed sighedthere sl sighedthrc < hfd hfdthr
there thr is nothing nothln on earth < uth she h contin continued oonUnlItd coutinud
ued sadly < that the average avera woman en enIVK eniy enmore
iy IVK mor mo more than doing dot her own housework houseworkind boUMWtrktncl
ind n making baby clothes and n4 embroider embroidering embrolderinK embroidarng ¬
inK ng pillows and curling eurUn < a babys hair hairbit balrt hairht
bit t lt she has found out that it doesnt pay payuna Ja Jaunci payunit
una unit that while she is I cutting out patterns patternsud pallemllaud
aud a ud iI making 108kln < bibs bl some other woman is isfin Sl1t isutlng
fin utlng ting her out of a husband and making makingtrouble maklnftrouble makingtroube
trouble troubleAnd troubleAnd troubeAnd
And so sh lbe cuts eut out the whole bole thing thingadded thlnindd thingndthd
added ndd < d the Mere Man cynically and ueI1IIak anduakes i imakes
makes 1IIak < s up as and hourt Ive noticed that thatowadays thatowado9 thatowadaya
owadays every woman want 1I wants I to be a asubtle aillbtJe aoibtie
subtle sirVn and that you cant tell a arother aotht ftnother
rother otht > r of nine children under a chiffon chiffonv
Yf v il and a mushroom hat from a girl or ofnineteen orninetlen ornineteen
nineteen But its It hard on the children childrenOh thltdrenOh childrenOh
Oh I dont know the Bachelor Girl Girltiltd 0111tItd GirltUtkd
tiltd her chin thoughtfully Ready Readymade Readrliadt ReadywtIt
made children are usually much better betterbrought bitterIorntlght betterk
brought k iight up than homemade ones and not nothnlf nothnlf notha
hnlf ha If so likely to be spoiled The old oldtashloned oklI oldiuliioned
tashloned I a hlontd idea that every eve famous man manowed JDfInwed meniwed
owed wed Ms greatness to his bi mother has liaslong haalunJ haslung
long JoIlnre > > lnre been disproved IMprov by the fact factthat rettlmt facttiat
that half our rich and nd noble men were werei w re reI
i gged urchins urcb who never knew a moth mother mothr ¬
er r and slept in a soap p box and sold papers papersfur papenfur papersfor
fur an education Besides she sh added addedcomplacently addedcomph addedcomplaently
complacently comph enUy there never was a son sonyet lIOnYft sonyet
yet who wouldnt shake off the Influence Influenceof Iniluenceot
of the hand that rocked the cradle the theminute theminute theminute
minute he e grew up 11 and saw the hand handwith handwith handwith
with the t 1c rosalined nails nail and the dimpled dimpledknuckles dimpledknukls dimpledknuekles
knuckles beckoning to ulm Anyway Anywaynowadays AnYayowadays nyway nywayiowadays
nowadays a woman needs both hands handsfne h hfl hand handfI
fne fl to keep k p her hold on her husband husbandAnd husbandnI husbandAfll
And nI yet et Ive T noticed remarked the theMfrc theH theMir
Mfrc Mir H Man that th t very v ry few of the modern modernrrrns InodernNns modernrens
rrrns Nns have the hold on a man that the theM thelIldfafo the1asliIoned
lIldfafo M fashioned hlonEd cook ook and the cradle rocker rockerJa rO rockerLiL < ker kerLid
Ja Lid Yhtn Int a man had a farm and andtwelve ondtd andc I
twelve td c children to look out ut for he b didnt
have any time or inclination clltle to t gt > seeking seek 98kIn meklog
log In an affinity By 3y the time he hat hatstacked had hadatacked hatstacked
stacked the hay Ita and put up the bonds horse1and JtorHiend bondsand
and earned enough money mone to buy brea breafor bd bdfor breadfor
for twelve h Ie mouths and shoes for or tweh twehimirs twelve twelvepain twelvepairs
pain of feet he was only onlyt too o glad to ire irehome g get gethome t thome
home and sit al beside bNJd the fire and smoke smokbis amokeht smokehis
his pipe Its the modern artificiality IIrU ciallty o olife or orlit oflife
life lit the selfrocking seU rocklng cradles and self selfworking eelfworklft aelfworking
working < calculators and nt1 selfplaying pin pinnos piAno pinfloe
floe the limited families fa 10 US the automobile automobileand automobilosan 8 8aDd
and an electric cars cars that makes things to toeasy too tooeal7 tooeasy
easy for us and leave l ave so much time o oour on onour
our hand hands that Satan finds work foi foithem for fortl1em forthem
them to do This running nmuln n home or orbusiness orbul a abusiness
business bul office om by pushing a button I Iunnatural Is IslftDAtural Isunnatural
unnatural and aw unhealthy unhe lthy It gives Ivetl wo women wonaen women
men time thu for bargain hunting and mei meitime men mentime mentime
time for pleasure hunting tUtnttn and ant all of n ntime ns nsUn tieLime
time Un for trouble hunting hunUn A chap dldn dldnworry dldnt dldntworry lklUtworry
worry about not having h 1ng a soul mate li lithe In IntM inthe
the old days If he had a mate who could couhmake couldaake couldmake
make aake good pies pJ and start tart a fire without withouburning withoutbumlnc withoutburning
burning down the t house And a woman womaididnt womandldnt womandidnt
didnt sigh lwh for an affinity when wh n she wa wabusy wa wabuy wasbusy
busy all day long tying up sore finger fingerand ftqenaqd fingersand
and patching < small trousers U rs and watching watchlnjto watchlnKto
to Bee see that the biscuits ulta didnt burn Th Thmodern The ThemOdem Themodern
modern Improvements on matrimony are arei arelike atelike
i like most m t patents of no real value U Uanybody to toanbody toanybody
anybody but the inventor and ready readymade readymade readymade
made wives Ives are like all thing thln ready readymade readyrutd readymade
made rutd apt to be looseJointed and weal wealin wMkbt weakin
in the th moral seams and showy on thi thioutside the theOutaide theOutalde
outside but not at t aU comfortable eomforta or 01useful orCut oruseful
useful usefulWho usefulWho Cut CutWho
Who wants ta to be useful scoffed the thrBachelor theaebelor theBachelor
Bachelor Girl with a toss of her touted tou0lecurly toutedcurty tousledcurly <
curly head b The Th latest la teet model m In wlyes wiyeiis wlyesIs
is beautiful and fascinating She can canmto clime climeInto cameInto
Into fashion with w1thIectrIc electric broughams brougtuu am amtouring ud udtouriq andtouring
touring cars ears and and like Itk them her h r mtasto mtastois 111 111fa mimlonIs
is to amuse e and entertain you and mak makyour mike mlkeur mikeyour
your ur friends envious enviousAnd envlou8 envlou8Anet enviousAnd
And keep you busy interpolated th thMere the theer theMere
Mere er Man > managing < her and makin makinrepairs making maklacpaln makingrepairs
repairs paln and spending your money ant antgetting a anti antigetting DlI DlIpttlnl
getting out of scraps scrapsAnd ICra ICraAIU wrapsAn4
And to make life seem like ilk a pteni pteniof PICnIC plenieot PICnICof
of a century RtUry run down hill hm continue continuethe contiDuedtM continuedthe
the Bachelor Girl GirlWith Girl GirlWith GirlWith
With a a bump at the bottom flntohot flntohotUMere ftDl8bedthL nihedtheMere
UMere thL Mere Man with a aWhen a sigh sighWhen sighWhen
When will men know k what the thewant they theywant theyWant
want exclaimed the Bachelor Oil Oilhopelessly Girl Okihop Girlhopleas1y
hopelessly hop IT When they bait nice com commonpiace commonplace rotamonplaee
monpiace wives in curl papers and cook cooking cooktnI cookLag ¬
Lag aprons they sighed for an unejlecttta unejlectttacompanion Intellectualcompaniost al aleompulon
companion who could understand them themand t tnd theipand
and nd when women omen took to going 10 to eel college eoJlese eelloge ¬
lese and forming literary clubs club an anfighting and aIIdft8bUn andfighting
fighting < for a vote and wearing bloom bloomera bloomera 1Oolft 1Oolften
era en they t y raised their hands in horror horroand horrorand horrorand
and began to wail for the dear femtatn femtatncreatures rma rmacr feminhiecreatures
cr creatures tures In mOles and curls and now nowthat no nothat nowthat
that weve we learned how to combine rut ruffles ruttIe8 rutflea ¬
flea and curls with Intellectuality and andcooking andcooklnaDOW andcookingnow
cooklnaDOW cooking now that were a little of every everything 8VeC 8VeCthlne everything ¬
thing thingYou thlneYou thingYou
You arent much mueltot of anything UltJa brok brokin broke brokeIn brokein
in the Mere Man desperately Yswnmakeshift Yswn Yremalehlft Yearemakeshift
makeshift mothers otbell and makeshift beau beauties 1MnUa boonties
ties and makeshift politicians Give mi mia 11Ma mea
a good oldfashioned wife wifeIve wtte wtteIve wifeive
Ive offered you one several times timesdeclared tI tIdeclared timesdeclared
declared the t Bachelor Girl QirlWhat OfrlWha GirlWhat
What WhatI t tr
I i introduced you to Polly Reynolds ReynoldsThat Rey1lokThat fleynuhisThat
That frump in the mustardcolor mustardcolorhat mustardcoloredhat d dhat
hat 1 demanded the Mere Man an contempt contemptuously cont contemptuoualy apt aptuoualy ¬
uoualy uouslyShe uoualySbe uoualyShe
She can make lovely waJBep protect protectthe proteIted proteItedthe iiroteatedthe
the Bachelor Girl GirlShe GirlSIM GirlShe
She slicks kI back her hair grunt PUmWec1 PUmWec1the gnnubledthe 1 1the
the Mere eN Man ManShes ManShes ManShes
Shes a queen in the kitchen kttcbeq decia deciathe declared cJeelaredthe declaredthe
the Bachelor Girl GirlAnd GirlADd GirLAnd
And the color of a lemon lemonr59t JemonBft lemonBt
r59t Bft Bt I thought yea 01 wanted wantedYou vAJttedYdu utsdYcu
You know perfectly w wen U what whatwant ut I Iwant Iwant
want said the Mere eN Mao ra Ian rising wl wldignity with withdIplty withdignity <
dignity dignityThe dIpltyThe dignityThe
The Bachelor Girl twisted her herU1o 1 1thoughtfully brushes brushesthoughtfully
thoughtfully U1o ttuny with her head on one side sideIf sideIf de deIt
If you mean me Mr Porter she an announced announced anflounced ¬
nounced after fter a pause u Ive frankly told toldyou toWyou toldyou
you that I dont know a turnip from a aparsnip aparmlp aparsnip
parsnip nor a it lamb from beef before beforetheyre betoretheyN beforetheyre
theyre cooked cookedAnd e cookedAnd 1lecJ 1lecJAnd
And Ive rv frankly frankl told you that I dont dontcare cIoetcare dontAnd
care careAnd And I buy all 11 my f nocks ready r made madeThey 11II 11IIThey mendeThey
They dont look it itAnd ItAnd ILAnd
And Id use bachelors buttons and ad adleI a aselfrocking aselfrocking
selfrocking leI r rocklng chair cbalrand cbalrandId chairandId and andId
Id gladly glad I spend the money for em emAnd emAnd emAnd
And Ive got all the modern improve improvements IMproftPlents Improvemeats ¬
meats mentsBut PlentsBut meatsBut
But youve got curly hair rejoined rejoinedthe reJohMdthe rejoinedthe
the Mere Me Man defiantly and a dtmpte in inyour Inyour Inyour
your chin and curves in your elbows cIbo and aadyoure andyoure andyoure
youre a Circe and a Madonna 111 and IUNlsubtle a asubtle asubtle
subtle siren and a Delilah and a Gretehen Gretehenand Grete Greteaad Gretchenand
and andOb
Oh Ob be careful cried the Bachelor BachelorGirl JJacbelOrGirt BachelorGirl
Girl in consternation as she half closed closedthe eIMe4the closedthe
the door between them Im I a aa a danger dtactrous dangerone 11 11OWl
OWl creature creatureAnd crtureAnd creatureAnd
And she laughed laugb d softly CU aa she heard the theMere UNMena theMere
Mere Man clumping < disgustedly ti u tedly down the tMstudio thestudIo thestudio
studio stairs stairsllonmii
atalnUomnn
Roman Simplicity SimplicityNo SlmJlclt SlmJlcltNo SIinplIcitrNo
No opera singer ever wheedled his way wayso tir
so 0 deep into the heart of a people peoI18Warconl ae Has HasMarconi hasMateoni
Marconi the great t Italian tenor into the thehearts thehearts thehearts
hearts of the Romans He is simply sllpI my idol idolised MIOIlsed Idollard ¬
lard by them and it Is probably due to tothe tathe tothe
the great simplicity of his nature and to tohis tohla tohis
his democratic ways 8Js which the winning winningof
of a large e fortune has in no manner mannerchanged taltterCM niantierchanged
changed CM ged The gallery gods soo speak > of ofhim othim ofhim
him familiarly tamlltarl as their Checco CReeeodiminutive a adiminutive adiminutive
diminutive for his Christian name and andthink antithink nd ndthink
think that no one like him ever lived Mvedso Ity livedso
so he sings for them t now and then al although althol 1 1though ¬
though thol h he no longer needs to follow his hteprofession hisproCes hisprofession
profession proCes and although althou < h be knows that thathis thathis thathis
his voice is fast leaving IMvtn him Its wonder wonderful wonderfUl wonderrut ¬
ful sweetness hi still there but It Is I like likely likeI likely ¬
ly I to break on the high hl h notes The Ro Romans Roman Remans ¬
mans dont care and if their favorite at attimes atlima attimes
times falls they drown his failure In Inapplause Inapplawse Inapplause
applause and will not hear of his re retiring reUrlng retiring ¬
tiring says the New ew York Times TimesQuite TimesQuite TimesQuite
Quite recently one evening that Mar Marconi Marcool ar arconi ¬
coni was singing there occurred a little littlescene littlece littl littlscene
scene ce e that could only have happened in indear Indear Indear
dear antiquated old Rome At a moment momentwhen m ftenthen momentwhen
when hen the orchestra orche tra suddenly stops play playing playing plying ¬
ing and leaves the tenor to take a a high highnote highnote highnote
note alone Marconis voice OCe broke badly Ivadlyand ba badlyand ly lyand
and he stopped abruptly A deadly si silence silence atlence ¬
lence reigned for a a moment In the huge hugehouse huseMu hugehouse
house e and then softly and chidingly there therecame Urcame therecame
came from the gallery a reproof in dia dialect dialect die dielect ¬
lect lectIme
Mme Checco che famo Well Choc Checco Cheeeo Chocco ¬
co what are we about It asked mildly mildlyThe mlldl mlldlThe mildlyThe
The great tenor lifted his oye eyes to his hisinterlocutor hisInterlocutor hisinterlocutor
interlocutor and shrugging his shoulders shouldersIn
In expressive pantomime quite minces unconscious uneoncloW mincesc1ous ¬
scious of the Incongruity of the thing thingsaid thingaid thingId
said Id out loud as though grieved but with withdelightful withclellcbtCul withdelightful
delightful simplicity simplicityEh
Eh my friend fnieniL how can I holp It ItThen 1t7 1t7Then ItThen
Then a crash of musk drowned the thesound the80und timesound
sound of the applause applauseThe applau8eTIle applauseThe
The Vnrslty VnrRIt Iloputntlon IloputntlonFSM UeputntionF fleputatlonFme
FSM F UM rMMefeUs l Hew HewApropos It ItApropos IteeadApropos
Apropos of Swarthmore College and the theabolition theabolition theabolition
abolition of athletics Reginald lander VanflarWlt Vnt1rbitt landerhilt
hilt said at a a recent dinner dhm in Newport NewportWe NewpOrtW NewportWe
We W all know that college athletics can cancarried canbe canbe
be carried too far I remember an Inci Incident Incident laddent ¬
dent that befell an athletic friend of mine mineback mIneback mIneback
back In InThis InThis 98 98This
This chap aP training for the hockey hockeyteam beekeyteam hockeyteam
team went stale stal The coach CO < b sent nt for forhim torhIm forhim
him and said indignantly indignantlyYoure Indignantlytt
tt Youre in a a pretty state Why man manyou m myou mdn mdnyou
you are as pale pa and soft as putty putt Boon Beandrinking Boondrinking Boondrinking
drinkingNot drinkingNot drinking drinkingNot
Not R a drop said my friend friendThen friendThen
1 Then you are smoking too much muchNo muchNo muchNo
No sir I havent touched tobacco tobaccosince tobaccosince tobaccosince
since I went Into training trainingStudying trainingStudyIng trainingStudying
Studying the couch asked askedEr nskEdI askedEryea
Er Eryes yes a little my friend admitted admittedGood admittedGood admittedGood
Good gracious man exclaimed the thecoach thecOReh thecoach
coach stop it at once Have you no re regard re regard nogard ¬
gard whatever for your our varsity it
WHITMANS WHITM4NSBIBLE BIBLE FOR SALE SALEPoets SALEPoet SALEPoets
Poets Poet Love for the he Scripture n lilt Lltorntnrc 11tfrnturc lilttrnture
orntnrc Recalled RecalledWhen RecnlledWben RecalledWhen
When Walt Whitman died In 1802 hO Rob Robart Robert Robart
art G Ingersoll spoke of him as a man manknowing manknowIng immanaknowing
knowing all creeds Ntd but believing in innone Innone Innone
none Whitman knew the Bible almost almostby almostby lmoalby
by heart and held it In high estoum toe He Helias Hebaa Hohas
baa said J of it No true bard will over overcontravene overcontravene overcontravene
contravene the Bible If the th time ever ftvoreomee evercomes yer yercomes
comes whon iconoclasm does dOes Its extremist extremistagainst oXtremlatagainst extremistagainit
against the books of the Bible In Its pies present p piesout 1J 1Jont ¬
ont form orm the collection muet still un survive surviveIn lrvtvo lrvtvoIn
In another and dominate just aa much muchas muchIUS muchas
as hitherto through Its divine and primal primalstructure prlllIItructure prhailstructure
structure hero are the fountain fountainheads fountainhMldK fountainheeds
heads of song songWhitmans oqWhitman songWhitmans
Whitmans own copy of the Bible BibleSJmo Dible4mo Bible24mo
SJmo Cambridge lKf l will bd b sold eo1dAt eo1dAtauetton Id at atauction atauction
auction on Friday It bears the In Inscription IncrlpUon inaeription ¬
scription in his autograph auto aph across 8el the thetitle thetitle thetitle
title Thomas Donaldson with everlast everlasting everlasting erlnt erlntIng ¬
ing life wishes from riom Walt Whitman WhitmanApt WblUtnmApt WhitisitsApt
Apt lEO 1SWDonaldson 1 lEODOHaIdSOM
1Donaldao
Donaldson wu one of his hi most Intimate Intimatefriends mUmatefrienda IntimatSfriends
friends Whitmans Whltma last wowig were wereabout wereMbout wereabout
about him IdmIee lmIe Hes a dear goon1 fellow fellowOther fellowOther fellowOther
Other Whitman rarities In theaUe th Ie are aretwo areto aretwo
two copies of the rare first lue of thu thufirst hu huOrt hifirst
first edition of Leaves of Grass Ora thin thin4to thin4to
4to Brooklyn 1116 a presentation copy copyof OOPJoC copyof
of the 1171 Camden edition lUon of Leaves Leavesof Leaveof Leavesof
of Grass John Sumton Sum ton from Ills Prtontithe Prtonti lnendthe F21eIM1the
the Author a first edition e of Demo Democratic Demoe Demoerstic ¬
cratic e Uc Vistas with autograph Inscrip Inscription Inrtt InrttUon itsertipUon ¬
Uon M 1 B B Brady from his bl friend Walt WaltWhitman WaltWhltmaa WaltWhitman
Whitman and a first edition of Aftep AftepAU Afte AfteAn Aft AftAlt
AU Not to ereate Only with a totter totterby Jettel Jettelby letterby
by Whitman entitled Can you use this thispoemet thisDemet thispoemet
poemet in your cluster It would prob probably PIGbabty iwobebly ¬
ably do to go out just as well II during the theweek theweek theweek
week immediately IMedIa tel preceding pre Htn < < Chrtotwan ChrtotwanThe CII ChristieaThe bfta bftaTIM
The mice is tH m ten for the little piece piecaand plee3and pieceand
and one for printing the slip Ac AcThere kThere heThere
There are a also presentation pre entaUoa copies 4f 4fMemorandum aremor4Jdum atMemoraduin
Memorandum During Durl the War a 1 one of ofthe ofthe ofthe
the rarest of Whitmans writings pri privately prlat pcivately ¬
vately at h printed for distribution among amongfriends amoDefrlnd amongfriends
friends and first proof sheets of oCvembttr No Nhvember November ¬
vember Boughs BoughsA
A rare memento of Jay ay Goulds Gould nkill 1IIdItsurveyor ktIIaa ktIIaasurveyor as assurveyor
surveyor and draughtsman d htn in the be early earlypart earlypart earlypart
part of his career In In the collection of ofrare o orare oframs
rare Americana formed by Mis Nettie NettieMalcolm NettieJrllcolm iettleMalcolm
Malcolm of London to be sold at at auction age agetlen asicUen ¬
tion It is a Is lire large J8e colored wall map p of ofDelaware ofDtolawan ofDelaware
Delaware County Count N V troID1 troID1v from actual eec survey eecye ¬
vey v ye by Jay J y QouU with the location of ofstores ofMora ofstores
stores mills houses with tbe names mes of ofdie otthe 01the
the famines f owning or living Ih1 in them t
IP T T TT A HP T T TT T T T Ts O T A C Tk T
THE CATCH CATCHQFTHE OF THE SEASON
11 111 Y CBCIIY AliaCX AliaCXWint AII AIIWtat ALbIXWint
Wint Wtat 1f you dont sit down and be bequiet beQ1det bequiet
quiet youll be overboard in a minute minuteIve mlnueIve minuteIve
Ive waned you two or three time now nowand nowand nowand
and Im througo througoTalk throoPTalk thOUgbTalk
Talk about being Nt quiet qu Mid Whit WtoLYou W1DtttYoa WhitYou
ttYoa You have clacked < Incessantly UM UktttI a asitting asitting
sitting ttI hen ever since nee I threw my first flratline Iratline firstline
line No oclel wonder we dont get a aWhit hite hiteWhit hlt8WJat
Whit Miller turned around to look 1 at athte athis athis
his friend Jack Barnes Barn lighting l htbIc his pipe pipemeanwhile piperwanJfbUe pipemeanwhile
meanwhile meanwhileAll
All right 4 you clumsy old thing tblu I Iknow IkDO Iknow
know kDO what wha t Im talking talktD about grinned grinnedJack grilutedJk gr1nedJack
Jack You move moT about t jin 11n IA this little littlerowboat UilHrowlao8t hUlaowbost
rowboat as If it were an ah oceangoing oceangoingsteamer oen8OhaIateUMr oceangoingsteamer
steamer Look to your line there thereWlnt UaereWlnt themWint
Wlnt turned suddenly at the mention mentionof mentiono
of o the loafwaited bite blt Clumsy he hemight beJnlght hemight
might be but Jack loved his chum Just Justbecause justbecause l lbecauM
because he was clumsy clurn y and always Iwa need needed needad ¬
ed his help Th The turn was fatal Wlnt Wlntlost Whitlost
lost 1 his balance his foot slipped on the thewet theet thewet
wet et bottom of the boat and backward backwardhe
he went for a cold and unexpected UlMxpeCt d dtp dtpFortunately dtpFortunately
Fortunately the water wa was only five feet feetdeep feetdeep
deep and WInts 1nt head appeared above abovethe abovethe
the surface m In a a second pipe In mouth mouthand lMutband mouthand
and the fire still tllt going goingCurses goingCurses
Curses Cur on you Jack Barnes Ba You Youdid Youdid
did that purposely and youll pay for forthis Corth forthis
this th growled rowled Whit as he tried to climb climbaboard cUIBbboud climbaboard
aboard aboardJacks aboardJacks boudJacks
Jacks convulsions of laughter Ja ter did not nothelp nothelp
help matters much muck and a when he did stop stopfor stopfor
for a moment It was only to heap coals coalsof coalsof
of fire upon Wines Ints wet head headMy badXy headMy
My fault Well I like that you old oldlandlubber oldtalMllmber oldIiIdIUbbeI
landlubber I told you to keep quiet but butyou butyou butyou
you knew it all It Now our days clay fishing <
is i spoiled and I can stay tay home and nur nuryou nun nunyou nurseyou
you Climb aboard and lets let get home homebefore homeber homebefore
before ber re you develop the measles or whoop whooptag whoopCQUIIb Whoopleg
tag cough coughU CQUIIbIt coughIt
It wa W was a very Mtltea Uen pair pa that unlocked unlockedUtt uIoekfldU Wiloehedthe
the door of their thdr fishing hut aa hour hourlater h6uPlaCK b ur urlater
later W mt t was sblverimr yeti ad Jack J Jt Was Wasmuttering Wasmutng
muttering t under his breath tho They hunted femttedin huntedIn nnr d
in vain for dry clothes as they had come comedown eoIIWcIo comedown
down cIo only I for a day or two to rough it itJack itJack it itJck
Jack turned to Ma ta friend with a aexpremioti belpIt belpIte neinless neinlessexpression
e expremiotiWhit expression expressionWtat n ntat
Whit tat theres there only oftl one thing to toW11 do doWell do doWell
Well hard Jaa to pack up and go over to toUncle toUwle toUncle
Uncle WttTs Will and see If they will take70tI takeyou take takeyou
you in Youre You saeesinff aee DC your our head off offnow OUnow oilnow
now and by morning youll you probably have havea
a fine case of pneumonia I IlIate hate bat to do it It Ittor itfor i ifor
for Aunt Fanny doesnt doe nt approve of me meor me meor meor
or my friends either for that matter matteradded mat matteradded rh rha4decI
added Jack JackAgain JukApln JackAgain
Again the pair started oil god nd adthrough walked walkedthrough walkedthrough
through the woods oocJ to a PItttf protl PreUr little cot cotta cottag j jtage
tage ta tag set In among the pines J iaat nvt Iraoay ftDa1rDeal VauayBeal IraoaySeal
Seal nut them it the per notch ch fno was awoeaaa awoman a awoman
woman who held her bend high at t all alltimes allthDeI alltimes
times thDeI but just j now It seemed to be bestraighter euaiPter bestraighter
straighter than ever everSo rf everSo f fSo
So Its It you Is l It she said 4 as Jack Jackextended Jackex Jackextended
extended ex his hand Who Is this person ptnOIIwttb personwith i iwith
with your you 1 she he added as she IbeIJIaDce4 glanced at atthe attbe atthe
the figure of Wint Wlat covered < with red mnd mndand aDIIIaad mudand
and hatless hallessOh batleOb hatlessOh
Ob Oh I say Aunt Fanny Pan be easy Weve Wevehad We WeaD Wevehad
had an accident This to my best friend trIeItI trIeItIMr fr1erdMr i iMr
Mr Wtathrop Miller iIiev He H fen feftaad overboardand overboard overboardtad
tad weve come over to 8M e if yon oa wont wonttake wonttake i itake
take us in for the night until ttl his b bI clothes clothesget e ept clotheget
get dry Wheres Wbere Uncle Win Hen Henderwtand un understand enderstand ¬
derstand derwtandYour derstandYour j jYour
Your uncle unel Is In town and Belle and I
ONE OF THE NEW SHIRT WAISTS WAIS1
A A new sty6 qI shirt waist 15t which Is smart smartwithout smartwithout smartwithout
without being elaborate is here shown shownand shownand shownand
and will m please the amateur utt t Ur dressmaker dressmakerbecause dressmakerbocause dressmakerbecause
because of its simplicity of making The Theback Theback Theback
back yoke oke insures fitting at the shoul shoulders shoulders shoulders ¬
ders while boxpleats complete the back backarrangement bncJarrangemnt backarrangement >
arrangement The front of the waist Is latucked Istucked Istucked
tucked Its entire length in extremely bo bocoming b bcoming becoming
coming effect The sleeves are of the theregulation there111aUol1 theregulation
regulation shirt style having the plain
fdRSi REYBURN ERRED ERREDPlaced ERREDPlaced
Placed Herself Beyond Pale Paleof Paleof Paleof
of Philadelphia Society SocietyLIVES SocietyLIVES SocietyLIVES
LIVES NORTH OF FATAL LINE LINEAnil LINEAnd LINEP LINEtmmii
P
And in T TKIlnJ Unfir u Residence on the theIVrons therung IisWrong
Wrong rung Shin IO of Market Street She Shent Siannt Siteat
nt Once UfTviuluiI the tile Traditions Traditionsof
of the dunkcr Citys Vit Aristocracy AristocracyHer ArhltoQnu ArhltoQnuHer Aristocracyten
Her ten nt Hointt Wiiw VIIIS Urt W VnlltO Vzis1d Vzis1dWhen < e l lWhen lWben
When Mrs John B Reybwn ner Reyiiurfl Nnt wile of ofthe oftho ofthe
the mayor of Philadelphia Ph returned retn d from fromKttrope frOntEurope frOmwo
Europe wo last IUt fall she was w fail of ofT1aIOUIhOUt plans plansThroughout planThroughout
Throughout her trip she be had lasted ted th thjoy tM tMjoYal thejoyof
joy joYal joyof of soda prominence iwoinl eiiee and bad even evenbeen evenl evenbeen
been l e n presented at court Shortly after afterher afterbfto afterher
her return she qe e sent out cards reading readingftms reMdtng1fB5 readingMRz
ftms JOHN E E RBYBURK RBYBURKAt
At Ijome IjomeWednesdays HomeVdqad IjomeWedi1esdys
Wednesdays Vdqad from I until tU I oclock oclockKJ oeloekMd oclockNti
KJ JftB ie Spring Garden Gfrclell street streetThe meet11M streetThe
The first Wednesday W f4IMaday arrived aniv anivcbarm and in hicharming a acharming
charming cbarm IOwa she sat t expectant In Mr Mrflowerdecked 1MirftoWMdec1led herflowerdecked
flowerdecked urawjng 1lta room roomBut roo rooBut roomBut
But nobody nobod came cameThree cameTb cameThree
Three Tb ttmea tt Umeshe Ihe e ring of the bell stirred stirredher attne4her stirredher
her but wewUra time thu it turned out to be beI bemerely bemerely
I merely a reporter r in search of a story storyThen 1MryTbflt storyThen
Then Mrs l Rcyburn ybum arose and questioned questionedWhy quetIOfledWbYnot nedWb1not
Why Wb1not not privately but through the thenewspapers tbtRCW8JH thenewspapers
newspapers RCW8JH and PhUadefphift PhfladeIphladiswered society societyanswered oelet1In
answered in a body bodyWe bod bodW bodylfe
We W cant call on Mrs drL Kcybora abur for forshe torIIVN forsite
she lives north of Market street streetU 1IlNetJ streetIt
U J t was w true and aa4 to 1eiM Jhe eye eyes of Pntla Pntladelphians Pbllaclelphla ihU ihUdelphians >
delphians clelphla an unanswerable argument argumentNorth afS1IIIM8tJ afS1IIIM8tJNortb arummiLNorth
North of Market street lie It wide tree treeshaded tne8hade41 treeshaded
shaded thoroughf thoroughfares ares roomy bouses look looking lookout lookig ¬
ing out over quaint gardens aMens and many manypoints uSP91nts manyilnt
points of beauty and interest But the thesocial theeoeial thesocial
social meridian He lies at Market street streetand MreetnOt aueetend
and not nOt north of It ItThe It Itrhe itJiie
The IM I iCalal i tl Hi II 1lne 1lneSodet7 liucsocIety uc ucSociety
Society extend Its bound south among amongthe a amongthe aGftKUte
the 9 IIaft v and nd negroes and east into the thewy tileftJrIart theverybeart
wy ftJrIart beart of the Polish b Jew section Bat
straight cuff that is so well liked while whilethe whHetho whilethe
the pattern provides for f r two > styles s yles of ofcollar ofcollar < f fconnr
collar The waist may be developed in insilk Insilk Insilk
silk wool or linen the medium size stz re requiring requiring requining ¬
quiring 4K 4 yards of Siinch material materialSix materlalSix materialSix
Six sizes 32 to 42 inches bust measure measureA measureA measureA
A pattern of this may be obtained by byInclosing byinloslng byInclosing
Inclosing 10 cents In stamps and address addressing addressing addressin ¬
ing in Pattern Department The Washington WashingtonHerald WashingtonHerald WashingtonHerald
Herald 734 Fifteenth Fjf nth street northwest northwesti n1rthwestslvinJ northwestgiving
i giving the number 2763 and size wanted
west it stopt as abruptly at the Skuyl Skuylkill aulkill kuyt kuytkill
kill river as on the theuorth north it stops short shortat Ihortat OIt OItat
at Market Mark t street West Philadelphia like likeNorth Uk UkNortb hikeNorth
North Philadelphia Is tabooed The un unwritten unwritten Snwritten ¬
written law II stronger than money or orbrains orbrau orbrains
brains or beauty beaut In the Quaker City CityAnother CityAnothf CityAnother
Another t of the laws of the Modes and andPhitadelphians andPhtladelIbtaa andPhiladelphians
Philadelphians Is that pertaining K to the theassembly theamhly theassembly
assembly Only the obituary and birth birthcolumn birtheolumM birthcolumn
column can alter the list of the Invita Invitations Invltatlons invitations ¬
tions to this function unless oh blessed blessedrule blessedrule ed edrule
rule bne can prove prove rrsldence m In another anotherState anotberState anotherState
State In that case a dinner or even a asuccessful aauceOrlltltul asuccessful
successful stockbroking st tip ha bao b been beenknown beenknown beenknown
known to procure an invitation invitationIf
If H maiden whose ancestors newt did not notdance notdance notdance
dance the minuet at the early assemblies assembliescontract aMel aMeltraet assembliescontracts
contract traet marriage with a man who wholollP be belongs belongs ¬
longs then she 8 also tao belongs but butawn 1Nt8YIf buteven
awn It her r own oWn lineage llna be Impeaceabte Impeaceabteand ImpeaeeabIelid
and though she may ma have gone ne to as assembly u ubly asaembly ¬
sembly bly cotilloM year after year U she shele eh ehmarlled sheIs
le married to a man outside the pale e the theassemblys thembly theassemblys
assemblys mbly doors are forever barred bar to toher toh toher
her h r Usually the week before the first ftrstassembly ArlitaSH firstassembly
assembly aSH > ly te a time of exodus ex when whenmany meamtlDy whenmany
many women wom n are prone to sudden indispositions ladle bI4IapoaftloDa ladletions ¬
positions tions requiring a trip to Lakewood LakewoodAnd IlrewooclAac1 LgkewoodAnd
And when one on does attend an assembly assemblyball mbly mblyball
ball what te i the reward Private balls ballsjnay banJIUIY ballsmay
may abound bouud in Indian war dances geld geldflsh 1014lah goldfish
fish and butterflies but even the menu menuand m menuand nu nuaM
and the number of dances at t the thebly assem assembly ememhiy ¬
bly are arranged arra pd by the laws la of our ourgreatgreatgrandfathers ourreat ourgreatgreatrazsdfathers
greatgreatgrandfathers greatgreatgrandfathersThe reat grea ttrandta thwI thwIIlte
The Charity Ball BallEspecial nailpedal hailEspecial
Especial public Interest centers also as In Inthe IntIN inthe
the charity rtty ball 1 which hleb takes place on onthe 011tbe onthe
the third Wednesday in January Januaryput Those TIJOKInvited Thosehivtad
Invited put on n their smartest gowns and anddisplay anddisplay d ddlaply
display themselves In the boles be at at the theAcademy t tAeadewy theAc
Academy Ac deuy of Music on that night but bntthey butthey butthey
they do not dance except eX eJ t In the open opening open1ft openbig ¬
big < quadrite Here agara apia social prec precedent pneed precedent ¬
edent ed reigns and nd there i ia much anxious anxiousfluttering an analousfluttering io ioftutle
fluttering ftutle till the list Is announced announcedThen annouceclThea annoupcedThen
Then every one settles down WIt to toac satte sattefacttoa apsis apsisfa4Ioe
facttoa ac toft or disappointment as s the thema base basemay cM cMmay
may ma be Th The ball n te always held in the theAcademy theAcademy theAcademy
Academy of Music uak which brings up the theold tbroW theold
old tM law that the Academy te I the only onlyfun onlytull onlyfull
fun dress dno place m In town No matter matterwhat matlerbat tastierwhat
what bat the opera or who the stars itaN what whatever wuttne whatever ¬
ever ne the play or hew great the actors actorsany adoreanyone actorsany
any anyone one may y wear r street clothes or high highnecked bJhnecked highnecked
necked frocks Dressing for opera in inItalian in1allan InItalian
Italian or German it t the Academy Aadem be beat be begins begins ¬
gins at the shoulder blades according sccrdlngo nl1Da nl1Daeutom
fo o custom while all other events lYen are arefrom areNIB arefrom
from NIB the chin down downI cIewnqualb downgtiuaity
I Equally Inviolate te the order that no noone noone 0
one 0 walks on the north aide of the thestreet the1ItJWt thestreet
street In view of which Ide old bat stm stmvirile 5111 5111virile 01
virile ide t rents 18 of stores on tile north northMe MIthlMe northside
side Me of the street tNetl are halt If the on the tbeouth thesouth theseuth
south side
are alone Blood is blood and you cannot cannotdeny caaaoLdeny cannotdeny
deny your own Il take you In for your yourmothers 7811Imotbu sourmotheTa
mothers motbu sake ak whined whl Aunt Fanny 7be a ashe as asbe
she be opened the door m In anything but a awelcome aJeRIe a aaleeine
welcome JeRIe manner mannerNever lb lbNeftI mannerXelVel
Never mind about me Aunt Finny Finnycneerfl hall halle Fannycheerily
cneerfl e cheerily y answered Jack as a he saw a the thedoor thedoor thedoor
door open for them But WInS must pet petdry pt4IrT getdry
dry hes caught a dreadful cold I fear fearHe fearfie fearlie
He doesnt look exactly frail sug suggested UIJeeI suggested ¬
gested eeI Mrs Beal as she glanced at Wints Wintssomewhat Wtnt Wtnt8OtWJWbat Whitssomewhat
somewhat ample proportion However Howevercome Howewrcome flowevsrclime
come in and go up to your uncles UDeIe room roomI JOOIDI
I suppose you will leave ve this tIYOU evening eveningyou enlng enlngyou
you know we have ye no spare room she sheadded aheadded sheadded
added lest they should ou1d avail themselves themselvesof It lll lllot
of a nights aptsWlat lodging lodgtaWint lodgingWhit
Whit did not leave that evening not for formany tormaar formany
many many evenings en thereafter t r At 5 5oclock 5oclock 5oclock
oclock that afternoon OOa the doctor tor torBent was wassent wassent
sent for Me looked at the flushed cheeks cheeksand cheeksand
i and d the parched tongue He I listened I ed to tothe totile tothe
the wheezing w breath brea tit as it came so hard hardand bar barand hyd hydand
and shook his head headWo lieedWe headWe
We Wo noun have ba hav a untie n at one once MteDeaL Mrs MrsBeat MrsBest >
Beat The men a fe very TeJ7act1 ck sick He 1feat must musthave musthie
I have feare re or he will die die I will acm a anun aaswse
nun nune and will call again apl later Good Goodafternoon 000cItteraoon Goodafternoon
afternoon and Dd the doctor was gone goneFor goneFor
For weeks Whit hovered between life lifeand uteaRel lifeand
and the great beyond No one entered enteredthe enteredthe enteredthe
the room but the nurse the doctor and andIsabella andIbelle andIsabella
Isabella Beal Jacks Jack cousin She relieved relievedthe relievedthe relievedthe
the nurse and sometimes even the doctor doctorwould doctorwoulel doctorwould
would call II her In to give a few directions directionsJack cJlrectlonsJack directiOnsJack
Jack came down every day or two but butnever butallowe4 butnCYtr
never wa ls allowed to see his chum Slow Slowly SlowIy Slowhy ¬
ly the big man made mad his fight slowly his hteeyeg bJIeeI hiseyes
eyes lost the t glassy look and anally aaau the theay thecame
47 ay came when the name was no longer longerneeded 10DIJerM longerneeded
needed Isabelle IbeU could manage with withJacks withJacks
Jacks help at night nightI
I say Yo nurse said Id Wmt one day as asIsabeBe a abelle asJonbelie
IsabeBe belle sat reading to him rm rmt glad gladihat gladthat
that t other nurse beat bel t it It I De lik you bet better better betBut ¬
ter terBut
But you know Im not really a nurse nurseat lIuneU fllWlSat
at alt an Mr Miller said Isabelk label as a she shelashed aile1IiIu shebiuthed
lashed biuthed at the inferred compliment Tm TraJacks TmJek TmJcke
Jacks Jek cousin nAunt Aunt Fannys Faan daughter daughteryou daughteryou tIer
you understand mnd But I love Jack and andrn andrnany m mao Illso
ao any anything thin for his friends rIeIIda and aadaaa she sh be began befisa ¬
gan to read rea again againpont apiaiDcMat againpals
iDcMat pont pals lets mad any mote said Wlnt WlntMJ WlatNJd WintJdet
MJ NJd Jdet t t lets 1et talk I dont car care whether whetheryoure whetherJOtI whether700re
youre JOtI a really truly nurse n or not I II IIJIk IIhits I Ittkft
JIk hits you 011 cause youre you and maybe maybewhen maybewIMD maybewhen
when your mother motb sees me dressed like a awhite aWI1Ite awhite
white man she e wont think Im such ueb a aterror atAtnOf aterror
terror I certainly drtalnl did look like a day la laborer 18OUt Isborer
borer out of a a Job the afternoon I landed landedOn Jaadedthe landeddo
On the front porch porchMI JChNl
MI 1 know said Isabelle as she he laugh laughheartily lau laurUly laughed laughedhssrtily
heartily rUly and lld down the book It Itmust ItJllUllt Itmust
>
must have been 90 i funny Mothers others ter terribly terrIW7 terirniy ¬
ribly proper you know knowDays koo11Mnt knowDtys
Days went on like this th and Mrs I Deal Bealwnfi DealWU BeatWed
Wed gradually won won over to toth the enemys enemyscamp enemyseamp nemyscamp
camp Every one who knew Wlnt Miller Millerloved MIJI8lOftd Miii Miiiloved
loved him himloved loved him despite his careless carelesshapless eareleullapleg earelesahapless
hapless ways way for hi bill kindly spirit and andother anelotb andother
other things but mostly mo Uy because he was wasbe wasbe washe
be In the days that followed he had hadmany hadmaAY hadJenny
many mimes as L all 11 the family famll took turns turnswheeling tUl15h6eUnW turnswheeling
wheeling h6eUnW him across the room so that he hemight heht hemight
might ht bask in the sunlight 811nll < ht but his hi hap happiest happiNt happleat ¬
piNt hours were when Isabella Isabel was w in incharge Inetuusoe Incharge
charge chargeOne etuusoeOne chargeOne
One afternoon as she patted the pillows pillowsat
at th back of his hi chair and left a glass glassof glassOf a aOr
of milk at his hi elbow he caught the hand handthat handthat handthat
that had brought so many man comforts to tohim toRim tohim
him during his hi Illness IllnessWont UlMMWont lilneasWont
Wont you stay a little longer MISS MtesNightingale t1MNSghttn MISSNightingale
Nightingale NSghttn If he pleaded as a he s held heldtightly heldtlPtJy heldtightly
tightly to the hand Im Im so lonely in intae IntIae intile
tae twilight Wait until Jack JaekEe comes comesHes eome eomeBes
Hes Ee due In a few minute now If the thetrain thet11t thetisli
train Isnt late lateplease latepleaseOU hatepleaseYog please pleaseYou
You OU old silly sUi Mid Isabelle JsabI as she he sat saton saton t ton
on the window ledge with the shadows shadowsencircling shadowsencircling dows dowsenetreltng
encircling her herr
I wish iel you knew more about me said saidWlnt saidWhit saidWhit
Whit I wish you would ou1d ask some of ofthe ofUte ofthe
the fellows f lIo8 If Im not a decent sort t Yj Y You Yousee u usee uMe
see Ive something to say y to you ou but but I Ioant IMnt Ieant
oant until you know me better It would wouldbe wouldbe wouldbe
be like taking an n unfair advantage advantageOh advantaxeOk
Oh but I know all about you already alreadyh llireadySllkI alreadySb
Sb h saw gayly aYIJ Jack and I talk about aboutJNHI aboutOI1tJl aboutyen
yen OI1tJl nil the time timeHe timeHe timeHe
He reached lea bed out and pulled her a little littlecloser littleelMer littlecloser
closer closerIm elMerIm closerIm
Im a clumsy old thing as Jack always alwayssaysbut alwan5a alwayssaysbut
saysbut 5a slbut theres nothing very bad about aboutme aboutme aboutme
me me and I dont play this sick trick very veryoftn veTJotten veryottn
oftn You wouldnt care for a life Job Jobof jobot jobet
of nursing would you your He was holding holdingthe hoMingthe holdingthe
the hand very tightly now no as she looked lookedup lookedup lookedup
up at R t him and said coyly coylyAsk coylyAsk coylyAsk
Ask me why dont you youHis youIIs ou ouHis
His IIs arms were not very strong as yet yetbut yetbut yetbut
but both of them went around the girl as ashe aahe ashe
he drew dr w her to his lips lipsSweetheart lIpaSweotheart lipsSweetheart
Sweetheart he whispered whisperedWell whisperedWell whispered1Tehl
1Tehl Well Ill be hanged Wlnt Miller none noneof noneor noneof
of that that sang out Jack ack as he stood tOOd In Inthe Inthe Inthe
the doorway grip In hand as he had hur hurried hu huried huned ¬
ried from the train I brought you ou down downhere donhere doinhere
here to fish not to steal all the preserves preserveson pre erves erveson
on the family plantation plantationYes plantationYes plantationYes
Yes Jack said Whit as he reached reachedout roacbedout reachedout
out one free hand ttTou You brought me medown medown nedown
down to fish and Im the champion for forhere forhere forhere
here In my arms Is the atch of the sea season seasonthe seasontime ¬
son sonthe the best over everLCopri1ght er erJCopjrlht
JCopjrlht ms1
s
WOM WOMAN tN ABOUT TOWN TOWNTELLS
TELLS OF THE FRAILTIES AND FOIBLES FOIBLESOF FOIBLESOFHERSEX
OF OFHERSEX HER SEX
<
I
The tee heed ihiar ill huskiest M MAstf lied iIHI liedAnd
And A MM it Ml to lest lestIPerhiem1alekffoothebe SMtPer t tF
I Per F IPerhiem1alekffoothebe IPerhiem1alekffoothebeits km y tafc it fcew r tae fe c cI t tmdy
I It its mdy thin to ttt tttIM at atytamthintahss t tr
IM r ytamthintahss ytamthintahssYtadltntbuW4G On WIt torn M eoofc H HYou IlL IlLYOII
You YtadltntbuW4G YtadltntbuW4Gtbhaimtosetktuisdiill ea not b 1IIIn > to de deA
A tkfev tbhaimtosetktuisdiill tbhaimtosetktuisdiillTo tat toMt k c a IIIJTo nMr nMrTohMt
TohMt To beit it tsnoffc MM aM aMIt URDU URDUHMB thm thmThesitkw1tMaislotoi
HMB Thesitkw1tMaislotoi Thesitkw1tMaislotoipet wftMt It wkh ak hot WItWt MriH MriHISA
pet knHcv es taft MM MMed ItWtIIi16I eIi eIinem
nem led ed m sees e halt Juice jidieAM ea eaeraw
IIi16I AM add eraw Cftgtaen ma if z sad tMck tMckAtrf thl thlMid
Mid trim nba JWTO data M thee this Ihisie te 1 K KAnd Itw i iAnd >
And 1 dot dam tkrn as B wttt wtdtnat ON ONTtet ens ensmet
nat bmkfMt tad will wtIIy taste wMd wMdToaH as pied piedYmhI
ToaH y CIa 11 new km keen a a1tlIIIcn ks time thmItrlucnrnatloii timee timelttiiicnrnntiois
e
Itrlucnrnatloii 1tlIIIcn rnntlon nml n nt Insanity InsanityI Inlanlt hiiitailtI
I have Anally persuaded the family faJDU of ofone ofone ofone
one of my patients patleD that she te a U 5 sane Jft Be Bebe as asthe 5 5the
the average woman a physician 1b7 k told me methe 1Mthe methe
the other day cia If you knew the woman womanyoud anyoucf womanyoud
youd youcf recall that after fter the Wrth lkth of orAnt her herfirst herfirst
first child about six years ago 50 there was wasa wasa as asa
a rumor that tbat1 thather her family famtl had been obliged obligedto obIl tJ tJto
to send her to t a sanatorium where mental mentaldisorders mentad mentaldiserder
disorders d are treated She was sent sentthough ientthough t tthoUCh
though I protested INotMt against it it and JIbe JIbewa shewas he hei
i wa was kept there for a year I dont believe believeshe MIleY8M believeshe
she was ever Insane In but her family famll do doThey doThey dohIllel
hIllel They dont know that she stttl ha ham the thesocalled thelled the10called
socalled lled delusion that frightened trtpaeth trtpaethShe them themso thissnso
so She Is I wise 1 enough not u WUalk > t lk AbOUt AbOUtIt
It but she declares to me that tha t she he hel be believe behIvt ¬
lieve l Just what ne sh believed six years yearsago reana80 yearsago
ago When the baby was w three days old oldI oldI oldI
I found the patient very much excited excitedand exdte4and excitedand
and her husband and mother and nurse nursefrightened Runefrlcbtened nursefrightened
frightened half to death th The nurse u had hadheard hadbeard hadheard
heard the baby cry at 4 in 1 the 1DOtft 1DOtftDd morningand morning morningand
and Dd going Into the room found the youngmether young youngmcther fMIDblilt
mcther lilt ther holding boI4l It ItThe It ItThe itThe
The baby spoke to me IM she said saidShe eelsShe Id IdSbe
She went on to declare that she hadnt hadntdreamed hadntIt hadntdreai
dreamed dreai It ft She had badnotked noticed the time t by byth b7tH bythe
th tH clock and had heard a leaky faucet faucetdrip faueetdrip faucetdrip
drip so she be knew she wasnt an asleep asleepi aee aeett asleepThe
i tt The baby stirred and nd I took it in my myarms m maIM myarms
arms she said Id and I said to it It How HowI 1I Howdo
I do yon Uke Bk being 1ft the world 11 It an answered an anpM answered ¬
swered me pM and said UN Not ot at all all out t I Ihad IIWI Ihad
had to come I didnt learn the lesson lessoni IeMoIIII1NII lesseeswall
i won when I ws in the th world last time timeso timeso
so I had to come Into It again againThen ap1aTheil againTheS
Then I asked ttu It tell me all about aboutthe aboutthe aboutthe
the life that Isnt t in the world Thats Thatswhen TJaat TJaatIt Thatswhen
when It began to cry cryI rtr cryI
I am forgetting f tiB It It It said I 1tQIIP am amforgetting amforgetting
forgetting tQIIP It so fact fast and I shaft hall never neverremember Mftrremember neverremember
remember it again till WII I die dieWell dIeWen dieWell
Well you OG can imagine how a story storylute atOIJlib storylike
lute lib thai thata threcdaysoid tbr bay UlMng taIa re rej N Nkaear notuearnatlonhorrified
j incarnation kaear al1ODhorrlftM horrified the family ramO The Theyoung TheYtJU Theyoung
young mother persisted m her story and andnothing aadnoth andnothing
nothing l could shake her belief in H HWhen It ItWheD itWhen
When she agtostod cI that the babys soul soulI BOUtmtcbt soulmight
I might have lived hi m a wicked body in its itsi Itsformer itsformer
i former incarnation laeamaUoDweil well they simply sen senher sent senther t tbe
her off o to a retreat and nd took the baby babjawny babyway babyaway
away way from her 8be Shes B s not a a very im imaginative ImUTe haaginative
aginative UTe woman So far as anybody anybodI anybodycaa anybodycog
I can find out she never nr had another anotheridea queer queerIR queerideaia
ideaia idea In all her life but shes sU got tide thteand 0 eaDd asicand
and JIbe shes > going to keep it It On the whole wholeit wholeIt wholeIt
it will make her a better mother for forshell forshell forshell
shell take pains to help hel the poor soul soulteam wIteam soullearn
team Its me teeeon won this Ual time tJine The Thechild Thecb Thechild
child is a normal healthy commonplace commonplacesmall eom commonplacesmall lOltptace
small 11 boy No remembering and no no4uem DOMe nomeroee
4uem Me meroee > about him b and so far as Ive Iveever Ivebeea ryeelm
ever been able to see the only onl alga of O Oabeonlla1 an anabnormal anabnormal
abnormal mind the mother JDOtIIerbel showed was wnaher washer
1 her calling the baby It 1t Were We aQ more moreor moreor
or less craay eras but a young g mother who v1Ioca wimcalls whocans
cans ca her first baby If it certainly tonne a ftlittle aItttle alittle
little to the more moreIVorrlQtl side Ihhto sideS sideorrluti
S to toorrICt1
IVorrlQtl orrICt1 Aliout hout the Pickle Supply SupplyI
I met a dear little woman at atbodya some somebodys somebodys ¬
bodys house not long ago and she dW dWher IlMr didher
her bet to hold up her end when impor important important important ¬
tant events of the day began to pop up upin up1ft upin
in the general talk talkWell talkWell talkWell
Well I see Mr Hetose ha bu been Indict Indicted Ileted lMictad
ed If somebody remarked addressing her herOh MrOh herOh
I Oh dear me said she trying trt not te Utlook islook telook
look vague Has U be Who In the world worldwfll wert4wm worldwill
will we get pickles from now nowShe nowShe nowS
S S SSite
She Can Pronounce Hujjhcs HujjhcsWhenever lIubheWbenever
Whenever anybody dy asks me whom Im Imfor Imfor Imfor
for for President I Just say Hughes H and andlet aJM1let andlet
let it go 0 at that says say the wife 1te of a a Re Republican Republkan Republican ¬
publican Congressman Coa Mr HUghes isnt isntmy tantmy isntmy
my husbands preference J but I tell him himthat himUaat himthat
I
that a man whose name can be pro pronounced proa01JDCd proflounced ¬
flounced m In two ways hasnt ftt any right to tobe tobe tobe
be President Out home we always call callthe callthe callthe
the President Rew Rewwyyelt rvelf but th the first flrsttime firstUme firsttime
time I spoke his name so in Washington Washingtona
a a New York man looked at me as a if I Iwere Iwere Iwere
were the last of heathens sod apt pel said Roz fRfirit Rozfelt Roze Rozefelt
felt I can take my choice and say sa It Iteither Itetther Iteither
either way wa with 1th the certainty that O Opeople Ute Utepeople thepoeple
people Im talking ta1ktn to use the other pro prorvrcUttfnn prort prooth
rvrcUttfnn rt oth Im In not prepared paled to go gothrough gothrough o othlO
thlO through this sort of thing thta during another anotheradministration anotheradmtalstration anotheradministration
administration Its wearing I wanted wantedMr wantedMr wantedMr
Mr Cortelyou to be President Pre l ent till I found foundpeople foundpeoPle foundpeople
people pronounced his nm IM with the ae aecent cccent c coont
cent on any syllable they the liked and said saidIhe saidlhe saidthe
the 0 and the V e long or short as they theyhappened tMJbappelWtl theyhappened
happened to fancy the sound For a awhile aWblle awhile
while I f felt elt K sure Mr Ir Taft would be the theman theutan theman
man for the place and I mentioned it to toa toa toa
a Boston man rhyming the name with withraft v1thra withraft
raft ra tt
raftYem ttYes
Yem Yes Mr Tabft is an admirable per person pee8OIl perns ¬
son 8OIl ns he said and when ben I said Tahfr on onmy Oftm onmy
my m own hook a a Western man J1I Jt glared at atme atme atme
me and told me that no n man with th an anEnglish anEnglish n nEnIJIIsb
English broad a in his name could set setawy eta getaeay
awy a with any State west of the theIIppI Nicole Mtefitesippi Nicolesippi
sippi When Im choosing a candidate 1 Iwant 1want 1want
want one whose name we can all say sayunanimously sayunaalmoualy sayunanimously
unanimously Thafiwhy Thatwhy Im for Hughes HughesTheres HusbesThere HughesTheres
Theres There a name I cin Cn always speak with withconfluence withconfidence wlthconftdence
confluence confidenceS
conftdenceAuoclntlon S
Association of Idcna IdcnaSpeaking IlleR IlleRSIHIfk ItlcnSpekIng
Speaking SIHIfk of the governor of New York Yorkreminds Yorkreml Yorkreminds
reminds reml me that an Illinois girl who Is a apupil apupil apupil
pupil at a finishing AnlM school here in town townfeete townfeels townfeels
feels very grateful to him for no other otherreason other1ehOtt otherrosiest
reason than that his name is Hughes HughesIm Hu IrughenIm be beIm
Im a regular Ir dub in ancient history historyand blatorand historyand
and mythology she told me mepoUte polite con conversation converaatJon conversatloft ¬
versation is a specialty at her school schoolIm schoolIm schoolIm
Im all to the bad when it comes to tell telling tellla telllag ¬
lag la whether wbetb r Hercules lI rcules was a demigod or ora 01a ora
a brand of breakfast food and I cant re remember remember remomber ¬
member whether Midas or Mithridatn Mithridatnkept MUhridatuc Mithnldateskept
kept c t pebbles pebbl s in his mouth mouthmayoo maybe even evenit evenIt evenit
it wa was Demosthenes You can search searchme se searchme reh reh1M
me We e had an exam exa 1 the other day and andI andI andI
I could see myself going down hill with withmy withmy withicy
my skis greased from the very first ques question question question ¬
tion I knew Id got to land something somethingor
or papa would hear that I hadnt been beenkeeping beenkeeping beenkeeping
keeping my nose glued to my m book and andpapa andpapa andpapa
papa would start on an airship trip tripWhat trtpWhat tripWhat
What was w Achilles one vulnerable spot spotwas spotwaB spotwag
was a question that looked like a life lifepreserver utepre lifepreserver
preserver pre erver to me I knew I ought to know knowIt knowIt knowIt
It but my mind went blank I knew It Itcouldnt Itcouklnt itcouldnt
couldnt be a fin but whether It was a aliver aliver aliver
liver or a heel I simply couldnt remem remember remember romemher ¬
ber Just Ju t then I looked over at a girl girlfrom girlfrom girlfrom
from New York and she had a pin with withGov v1thGov withCoy
Gov Hughes picture on It pinned at the theback theback theback
back of her neck I knew then that the theanswer theanewer theanswer
answer was heel and not gllle gill nor liver liverIts lh liverIts r rUs
Its what you call association as ocla lon of Ideas IdeasOut IdeasOut ideasOut
Out in Illinois when the beefsteak isnt isntwhat
what It ought to be we say Tough as asHughes asHughes asHughes
Hughes heel lIce As soon liS is I saw Hughes HughesI
I remembered rmembt > ted that and then I knew knewi
i where they punctured Achilles < chi11cs who
hadnt a Hughes heel Its It pretty PNtt oem oempHcated eemetfd sentpilcatod
pHcated Isnt it It1 I dont know whether whetherGov whetherGv whethertSv
Gov tSv Hughes te the man Who heel they theytalk theTtalk theytalk
talk about out In Illinois IIII hot Ive 1 get lOtrt a avrt a asort
sort vrt rt of idea that he wouldnt he a very veryeasy veryeasy
easy 8 man to t puncture punctureOnly punctureOnly punctureS
S 5 5Only
Only Iwo More Questions QtlcttUonSomHod QuestionsSomebody liie llon llonSomebody
Somebody SomHod told me yesterday about t the thamail theIiesiI
IiesiI mail 11 sow of a man who iao is aiififM in invine Inrt InWale
vine sOrt of scientific work in one of the thegovernment theIjDftrnJneat thegovernment
government departments The Ti boy has a aflu athee 1 1mlJt41
flu thee mind ami ittl the father ha baa made mad It hi hicustom his hiscuatom hiscustom
custom to answer all the youngster youngsterquestions youngaersquestions rlI rlIqutJons
questions carefully and fully Even Xn aci scitnUfte acinttfte acientifie
tnUfte fathers fat father have bav limits to their pa patience palMnee patinnee ¬
tience however and one day da after the thethree thethree thethree
three thousandth question n the father Mid MidNow asidNow Id IdNow
Now run away son Im 1 toe buny to toanswer toaMWer toanswer
answer any an more questionsBut questionsBut questions qadoneBut
But I only want to a Uk two more moreprotested mereprotested e eJIOtntefJ
protested the boy 1 think you might mightanswer mightanswer ht htanltWft
answer Just two twoI
I will said let th the father What are arethey arethey arethey
they theyI
I want to know how they work ortr mir miracles mlra1H aniraeles ¬
acles and how they make condensed condensedmilk COIIdeaaedIlk condensedmilk
milk Ilk
YEAST IS A PLOT PLOTCan PLA1fTCnn PLi PLiCan
Can He Seen n ntf nsSueltOnly Such Only with the ikeYeast theIfnrolCJoll theMierosaoiie
IfnrolCJoll MierosaoiieYe IfnrolCJollT
Yeast T Ye euJ to R small 1 plant which can be beseen beaeen beseen
seen only Jul with the aid of the microscope microscopeays ndenIIIeo ndenIIIeoGood micropeopesays
says ays Good Health There are two varie varieties vane vaneties rie rieun ¬
ties wild and cultivated for those tiny tinyplants tinyplante tinyplants
plants can be improved e4 through tb cultiva cultivation C1d eultivalion Ya YatJon ¬
lion as a larger plants atll can be beFirms bePInna beFinns
Firms which make u yeast for Or the market marketmost markftmat marketmUst
most grow these thee plants ta quite as carefully carefullyas
as a the florist grow his flowers Care Caremuet CanmDBt Carsmust
must be taken lak n that they do not beetome beetomemixed hefbma hefbmambed heObmmixed
mixed with other OU1 varieties therefore de destroying deJtroin deetroylng ¬
stroying the culture cultureIn cultureIn cultureIn
In the laboratorte I where yeast te grown growntwo pontwo growntwo
two separate para building are kept for this thispurpose thisPUrpoR thispurpose
purpose These are both carefully cuerun dtoin dtoinfoeted dlainfeeted diem diemfected
foeted and If it te found that the yeast yeastbecomes 7Ustcontamblatecl yeastbecome
becomes contaminated hi on one butUUmj baIId the theculture th8eulture theculture
culture te started anew and ad the other otherbuilding th otherbuilding r rbulldll1
building previously dfetafeeted before beforemoving beforeJDOmg beforemoving
moving into it itTh ItThe itThe
Th The purest culture of yeast te probably probablyobtained prebab1yoIHalDed prebeblyObtaIned
obtained in the compressed yeast cakes caktFThese cakeITheM cakesThese
These can be kept only ODI for a very short shorttime ahmttbDe shurtthus
time and then in a a cool place which ron renders r rondens > n ndelll ¬
ders it inconvenient taJOvea nt for the warmer parts partsof partiof partsof
of the country In this case Me of tours coursthe eGUrlithe toursthe
the dry yeast cakes must be used which whiciwhen whichwhen whichwhen
when fresh are perhaps quite as good goodas a04 a04the goo4U
as the compressed except e that they re require r rquire ri riqulie ¬
quire a longer 1000 er time and should be start startid startidin ttd ttdIn d din
in the iii sponge ponlf Instead ln of the stiff do11 do11This doughThis dough doughThte
This plant like bacteria reouirV reouirVwarmth requlrJ requlrJwarmth requirawarmth <
warmth warmth moisture and food The ma materials rn rnterial initenials ¬
terials out of which the bread te made madeshould madeshould madeshould
should always alwa be warmed warmed and the dougu dougushould doUgilehn1d 4ougishould
should always be kept in a warm place placeThe tIceThe placeThe
The temperature te e most favorable te about aboutthat abouttUt aboutthat
that of the body a lUtJ IIttJMe t toss than 100 de degrees deI deThere dogrees ¬
grees greesThere I greesThere
There is I always considerable moisture moisturein
in bread and plenty plentyot of food for th tile plant plantThe plantThe plantThe
The food which it requires reqa te sugar Thin Thinit Th ThIt Thisit
it obtains from the wheat t there bein beinsome being beingsome in insome
some sugar in the flour and more sugar sugarte sugarIs sugarI
te I also formed from the starch starchAs 8tarcbAa starchAs
As the yeast plants feed upon sugar sugarthey sugarthey ugarthey
they break it down Into two substances substancesalcohol l1IbMaJ1ceaaleehol subetancesalcohol
alcohol and a gs known as carbon calboadloJ calboadloJIde dies dtoiide dieside
ide or carbonic acid gas As the gas > < is isformed isformed Isformed
formed it te i held by Up tl gluten which is isa isa isa
a a very elastic substance uataD e When th tile bread breadte breit1I f d dput
te I put into the oven the heat expands ex th thtiny thtIDy ths thstiny
tiny bubbles of gas causing th the bread f frise tfJ18e t trise >
rise or to become much lighter The al alcohol alcoM a acobol ¬
coM formed being < a volatile product productpasses Jftduc JftducoIt psuductpasses
passes off in the tb baking bakingTHE 1 aldn1THB bakingTHE
THE HJI 3IADIIBX DnRN HAT HATIt JlATIt hATIt
It remains remainsMadame reJIIaaL reJIIaaLacIa remainsMadame
Madame acIa te like II likes kea it itGrte ItGIrls ItGnIa
Grte GIrls simply pi adore It ItA ItA ItA
A breath of wind windIt it t lives ft p a 8 a 0 Its Itsname ItsnalIIf itsname
name nameAny nalIIfAny nameAny
Any one who has encountered aa en enraged enrastHI enraged ¬
raged hem will recof reeo nme niue It ItHas ItHag it itHas
Has it occurred to you that the aver average average average ¬
age chapeau is 1 so exaggerated exq tad that the themoct themo tImemat
mat extreme actress would oukI hardly have haveventured baeventured haveventured
ventured to wear it on th the stare nve nveyears flviyears heears
years ears ago a o
A 1 Prank Apology ApologyThar ApologyThere polog pologTheN
TheN te a family In South Carolina dis distinguished dtstbasulah distinguished ¬
tbasulah tinguished historically In the polities of ofthe orthe ofthe
the State and famed In the present gen generation generation geaeration ¬
eration for Its rigorous adherence tee to the thetraditional tMtradltkma1 thetraditiOnal
traditional hospitality of the family More Moreintimately 1IorelntlmateJ Moreintimately
intimately lntlmateJ the particular parUcu T branch under underdiscussion underdticU8810n underd1cuodon
discussion Is held in high h1 < h repute for the theclose theclose theclose
close relations existing between the pater paterfamliias paterfamll paterfamillas
famliias famll and his numerous sons 10011 The Thefact Thefaet Thefact
fact Is also recognised recO Rbre4 < that the sons in inearly inearl litearly
early earl youth are accustomed to address addresstheir a44re addresstheir s stbetr
their father In terms te of cheerful profan profanity prolanIty profanIty ¬
ity says the New York Times TimesNot TimesNot TimesNot
Not long ago a there was a wedding wedell in inthe Inthe Inthe
the connection followed by a reception receptionat
at which the whole clan wa was present presentThere prMentThere prsntThere
There went the pater famtlias and there therehte therehla therehis
his youngest son Jackie a boy of some someseven eomeHV8ft pornoseven
seven summers umme There was much punch punchat punchat punchat
at the receptionrand T8C ptl nd Jackie stayed late latefor latetor latefor
for the honor of the family rmll When he hereached h hreached hereached >
reached home his father and nd hill older olderbrothers oIMrbrothers olderbrothers
brothers and sisters were seated In 1 the thasittingroom theslUingroom thesittingmom
sittingroom talking talk things over overLurching overLurching overLurching
Lurching over to the a fireplace p1a18 and andstanding andItaftdta andstanding
standing Itaftdta as a steadily tclU as his little reeling reelingteffg reelingep reelinglegs
legs would let him him he addressed add his hisfather hisCather hisfather
father fatherOld CatherOk fatherOld
Old goatee gent I have had toe much muchpunch mockpunch uch uchpUMb
punch a d sight too muck and I am amman amman amman
man enough to tell yoU so soWith BOWith soWith
With roars of laughter pter shies many manytimes manytimes manytimes
times repeated with paternal pride the thefrank theCrank thefrank
frank apology wa was accepted acceptedThrcntena acceptedTJarentfnll acceptedThreatens
Threatens White hlte House HousePOK HouseProM lfoueIma
ProM the Ffaihtfeiiibfe I Keen KeenWhen Petard JCeeor4When i iWhen
When Senator Fravfer l was elected gov governor 8t 8temor governor ¬
ernor of Tennessee a a few f w years ago his hisRepublican hisRepublican hisRepublican
Republican opponent was Jesse M i Lit Littleton Littleton Littletun ¬
tleton brother of Martin > artm W Littleton LittletonHarry UttJetonHarry UttletonHarry
Harry Thaws chief counsel One of the theLittleton thtUtUeton theLittloton
Littleton brothers the youngest M of eight eighteen elshteen eighteon ¬
een children is a fourthclass postmas postmaster potItmaltet postiflastot ¬
tot at Estill Springs Tenn and a warm warmsupporter warmsupporter warmsupporter
supporter qf Representative Brownlow Brownlowone
one of the Republican leaders In the theState theSt theState
State St tI The antiBrownlow members of ofthe orthe ofthe
the parts In his county have been trying tryinghard t11ngh tryinghard
hard h rd to have ba VP him removed The other otherday otherda otherday
day da says saysa Ylt a Washington correspondent < of ofthe ofthe ofthe
the New York World Senator Frazier re received received received ¬
ceived this letter from Jesse Uttletod UttletodDear UttletodDear UttletodDear
Dear Sir Inasmuch as your election electionto
to tire Senate waa the result of your hay having hayIng haylag ¬
ing been governor and nasmuch as you youwere YOUwere youwere
were elected governor overnor because I showed showedup showedup showedup
up your record on every stump in the theState theStAte timeState
State and Inasmuch as my opposition to toyou toOU toyou
you OU resulted r ulted In your setting fhe fhe largest largestmajority lar largestmajority ftt fttmajority
majority ay Democrat had received recet > d for foryears foryears or oryoali
years I want you to show your apprecia appreciation appreciation appreelation ¬
tion by going goln to the White House and andtelling an antolltng andtolling
telling T R that If he fires flr my kid brother brotherI
I will elect another Democrat governor governorof governorot governorof
of Tennessee by running on the Republi Republican Republ1can Repubhican ¬
can ticket ticketA UckotA
A Strnnge Institution InstitutionA
A singular Danish institution to the theMaiden tbeIaldon theMaiden
Maiden Insurance Company strictly strictlyconfined atricttyconfinod stniottyconfined
confined to those of noble birth The Thenobleman Thenobleman Thenobleman
nobleman as a soon as a daughter is born bornto bor borto bormto
to him has hft her name placed on the thecompanys thecompanys thecompanys
companys books and pays a in a certain certainsum c crta1nsum rtaln rtalnsum
sum to be followed by annual pay payments psymonts paymnents ¬
ments and when the girl gis comes com of age ageshe agoshe ge geEhe
she is entitled to a fixed income and a afine afine afine
fine apartment until she marries or ordies ordies ordies
dies

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