Newspaper Page Text
Some time ago The Star printed a story of
the pictures in General Miles' room and
headquarters of the army. S!nce that time
quite a number have been added to the col
lection. being some that were in the depart
ment. which have been refrained and hung.
A large number known as Forbes' war pic
tures, made about 1867, illustrating scenes
of the civil war. now adorn the walls of
the rooms devoted to army headquarters.
These pictures are old prints and are almost
impossible to obtain now, although they
were quite plentiful at the time they were
published. They are of the sad, warlike
and amusing types. The list includes the
following, and the titles of many indicate
pretty clearly what they are:
"Newspapers in Camp." "The Reliable
Contaband" (contraband was the name of
the darkies during the war). "The Rear of
the Column" (showing many stragglers),
"Coffee Boilers" (a camp scene), "An Army
Forge," "The Leader of the Herd" (a cel
ebrate old mule). "After Dress Parade."
"The Picket Line," "Home. Sweet Home,"
"A Halt for Twenty Minutes,' "The Sup
ply Train." "Trading for Coffee and To
bacco" (Yanks and Johnnies on friendly
terms), "Drawing Rations at the Commis
sary Serg.ant's." "A Cavalry Charge." "A
Quiet Nibbl on the Calvary Skirmish Line,"
"Coming Into Action," "A Watched Pot
Never Boils." "Going Into Bivouac at
Night." "Awaiting the Attack. Infantry,"
"The Halt on the Line of Bat.le," "Through
the WiI,lrness," "The Sanctuary" (showing
an aged colored couple praising the Union
flag). "The Return F'rom Picket Duty."
"Coning Into the Lines," "On Picket,
Washing Day," "Tattoo." "The Distant
Battle." "A Newspaper Correspondent"
(said to be George Alfred Townsend
"Gath"). "Advance on the Cavalry Skir
mish Line." "The Lull in the Fight." "A
Night March." "Just in Time, Artillery."
"A Wagoner's Shanty." "Pontoon Bridges."
*A Thirsty Crowd, Newspapers for the
Army." "They're Johnnies as Sure as
You're Born. Boys," "Fail in for Soup."
"Gone Off With the Yankees." "A Scouting
Party. Cavalry." "A Flank March Across
Country." "A Slave Cabin. Got Any Pies for
Sale. Aunty?" "Waiting for Something to
Turn Up.' "Battle of Vermillion Bayou,
April 17. 143," and "Custer's Charge."
Occasionally a good story is told by some
army officer of the Spanish war. One who
was In the city the other day told about a
peculiar order that came to him while he
was in command of quite an important
point on the Florida coast. He had five
batteries of artillery under him, and some
of the best modern guns mounted and ready
for the defense of an important harbor !n
case it was attacked by the Spanish. One
day an order came directing him to aban
don the post and turn all property over to
the quartermaster, and an order to the
quartermaster directed him to remove the
property to some other point. It was quite
a task to pack up five batteries of artillery
and move at once, while the poor quarter
xnaster would have been busy yet getting
those big guns and paraphernalia belonging
to the fort away. Howt er, an order was an
order, and the officer at once gave direc
tions to make ready for moving. They
could not p.-a;sibly have got away before
midnight. and while the work was going
on it occurred to the officer that some
thing dreadful must have happened to
cause an al,andonment of a fort which has
always been regarded as a stronghold and
an abs,.lutely safe defense. He did not dare
qu,stion the order. but he concluded to
sen,t a private telogrym to the adjutant
g,n--ral. asking what was up that caused
th.- m-vement. He soon got a reply back:
"You are not ordered away. There is a
mistake. DO not say anything about it."
Signed "C' rbin." It appears that the order
sent to this officer was intended for an of
f,er In charge of an unimportant post
where there were about a dozen men sta
tivned with a few army stores, which
could be utilized to better advantage at
anhthr place. Of course the adjutant gen
eral did not want the story to get out, as
during the war with Spain the report of
Pu-h a mistake would have caused severe
In the office of Assistant Secretary
MeikljOhn of the War Department is a
map which is thoroughly English in its
make-up and bears on its face the copy
right of the publishers, who are engravers
and prirters to the queen, Edinborough
and London. This map is of the entire
world, but it has many separate and en
larged maps showing British possessions
in various parts of the world. It is not
dated. but has been published since Daw
son rity became kno.wn, as that and other
places in the Kiondike country are shown.
While that portion of Btritish Columbia
along the Alaskan boundary is not given
in a separate and enlarged form, It is plain
en.'ugh to show what the' map makers be
li.v' to be the boundary line. Curious
*"'''ugh, th'ose map makers to her majesty.
the 'jun. give the United States all of
Lyvnn canal amoi curve the boundary in
confo,rmityv to the lnle-ts of the Alaskan
c< ast. While this ma!' cannot be 'onsid
er, dI as 'one of the official maps, like that
ofthe Itritish admiralty, yet it shows that
th' men of Gireat lIritain who made It
munst hav" b,'lieved that there could be no
di;stute' absut th'e boundlary line between
the Btritish possessio~ns and Alaska. This
li anthe'r one of the many evidences that
keep aveumulating to show that the claims
of the United States are correct.
* * * * *
The 11th ('avalry is now a fact and no
longer a subject of fiction. Many a writer
of novels, knowing that there were but
ten re'giments of cavalry in the United
States, has used the term "11th Cavalry"
when describing some command, In order
to make his story appear more realistic,
and at the same time not get caught in
describing troops actually in existence.
More than that it has been the custom of
army otteters, when referring to the many
"colo,nels. ""majors," "captains," and oth
er' officers whose titles are generally self
made and self-adopted, to say that they
are officers of the "11th Cavalry." An ofli
cer and a troop of the "11th Cavalry" have
always been regarded as myths and the
titles to such have been placed in ques
tion. It is not believed that the 11th Cav
alry, of which Colonel Lauckett is com
mander, in the Philippines will be any
mnyth, and that it will render good service
to the government. Although it is a vol
unteer organization. its number begins im
mediately after the regulars, which is the
same rule adopted in numbering the volun
teer infantry regiments.
A good story comes up from Cuba about
a well-known naval officer. Wherever the
United States navy is known Commander
Lucien Young is known. Young was one
of the men who went to the rescue of the
shipwrecked sailors at Samoa after the
great cyclone of 1888. He also performed
a daring feat off Cape Hatteras when the
Huron was lost, and was presented with
a sword by the state of Maryland as a re
salt of it. He was one of the landing party
at Honolulu when the cruiser Boston sent
troops there to support Minister Stevens
in his recognition qf the provisional gov
ernment which overthrew Queen Lilluoka
lani in HawaiL. Lucien Is a Kentuckian,
and as a talker Is second only to Joe Black
burn pf that state. But to get to the story:
It appears that somne naval ooers were
together down in Havana, and a late arri
vsal wiped his brow, ordered a drink, and
tefmarked that he was competely talked
Oat, as he had been up against the great.et
talker in the navy.
Young," remarked one of the other officers.
"No," he replied. "I have just been up
against plain Smith."
"Well. then, you have got another guess
coming as to who is the greatest talker."
responded the man who had mentioned
"I don't know what your man Young can
do," said the newcomer, "but I have $5 to
back my man Smith against him."
"Taken," answered the champion of Lu
clen Young quickly, and the money was
put up in a third man's bands. It was
agreed that iothing should be Faid either to
Young or t - Smith. but it was arranged
that this group of naval officers should
bring them together and quietly allow them
to get started on some topic. The arrange
ments were all made. The men casually
met. A drink or two was passed around,
and some topic introduced with which both
Young and Smith were familiar. The oth
ers dropped out. leaned back in their chairs
and smoked their cigars, while Smith and
Young talked against each other over the
table. This went on for a matter of two
hours, and each apparently doing his level
best. Finally, Smith brought his fist down
on the table with a baffg and said: "Lucien
Young, you are the greatest talker in the
navy. I'll quit you right here." The
money was passed over to Young's backer,
and the joke explained. amid loud laughter
on the part of those who had perpetrated
it upon the two talkers.
The development of trouble in San Do
mingo, and also some uneasiness in I1aiti.
recalls some of the experiences of a year
ago by newspaper men who were on board
the dispatch boats carrying the news from
the vicinity of Santiago and filing it at the
first cable station they could find. One of
those correspondents was telling, the other
day, about his experience at Mole St.
Nicholas. It will be remembered that the
dispatches from the Mole were of various
kinds, and some of the greatest disasters
which never happened were iteported from
that station. This correspondent said that
when he arrived with his dispatch boat at
the Mole he was met by the entire army of
the place and politely informed that they
would take him to the governor. No, he
said, he wanted to go to the cable office as
scon as he could. The reply was that there
was plenty of time, and that he would first
be taken to the governor, and to the gov
ernor he had to go before he could go to
the cable office. The army consisted large
ly of brigadier generals, colonels, majors
and captains, in various costumes ranging
from epaulets to bare feet. The corre
spondent, burning with a desire to get his
dispatch off, marched along in the proces
sion to the governor's "palace." The
"palace" consisted of a story and a half
shanty, with two or three rooms. Into this
the correspondent and the "army" march
ed, and awaited the coming of the gov
ernor. The governor soon descended from
the half story above in all the grandeur
he possessed. Epaulets decorated his
shoulders, bright yellow sashes, tin medals
and various other decorations covered his
breast. Around him was gathered the
army, some of them in costumes of French
grenadiers, with tall pointed caps, or any
thing else that they could get with color.
The governor was duly presented to the
correspondent and the correspondent to the
governor. They shook hands. The corre
spondent expressed his gratification at
being in a small capacity the representa
tive of one of the great republics and was
pleased to meet the representative of
another great republic of the western hem
isphere. After this exchange of courtesies
between the governor and correspondent the
correspondent motioned towards the door,
and one of his servants from the dispatch
boat entered and presented the governor
with a bottle of whisky and a ham, and the
correspondent was then free to go to the
cable office and file his dispatch. At dif
ferent ports in Haiti and San Domingo
nearly every visitor of any especial promi
nence had similar experiences.
Rear Admiral Hichborn, chief constructor
of the navy, and Chief Clerk Peters of the
Navy Department are very warm friends.
They have recently been exchanging jokes
on each other. The rear admiral started
the fun. The chief clerk was away down In
Maine spending his vacation, and trying to
enjoy himself. The admiral was in Wash
ington hard at work. He took it Into his
head that Peters needed some reading mat
ter, and every day there were sent off re
ports of the Secretary of the Navy or some
such document, ten or twelve years old.
The documents kept getting older and drier
and more useless, and the admiral capped
the climax by sending a directory of the
city of Brooklyn for 188. When Peters re
turned to the department and Admiral
Hichborn went to Atlantic City to spend his
vacation, Peters began sending relgions
tracts and literature to the admiral, With
passages marked in Denelf giving especial
reference to some of the admiral's weak
points. A bat -i of thi'llterature was gath
ered up and Arailed to.the admiral each day,
a (ressed in a different handwriting, and
it such a way as to indicate Its importance,
si that it must b opened, even if it was not
all read. Peters declared that Hichborn
was more in need of the documents which
he has been sending than he (Peters) was
of those which the admiral sent to him.
A disagreeable feature of the occuDationi
of the Philippines is just now being brought
home to army officers and their families.
Quite a larg" portion of the correspoindence
which -Adjutant General Corbin receives at
the present time is from the wives of army
officers, askintg about arrangements of
transportation of offieers' families to the is
lands. aond also inquiring when the embargo
against the f'amilies of otth'ers, instituted
by General Otis. will be withdrawn. Short
ly after the occupation of the islands by the
U'nited States, quite a number of wives of
the officers went to Manila, but finally Gen
eral Otis isstuedo an order and had it promul
gated by the War Department here, direct
ing~ that no more officers' wives should go
to the islands, saying that it was an unfit
place for women, being unsafe as well as
unhealthy. Meanwhile troops were con
tinually being sent to the islands, especially
the regulars, who were officered by men
most of whom had families, who had ac
companied them heretofore to the various
garrisons and military posts where they had
been stationed. It was very disappointing
to the wives of the officers that they should
be coumpelled to remain at home while their
husbands were more than 10,0J00 miles away,
and especially as they were likely to re
main away for a long period, Now efforts
are being made to get General Otis to re
scind the order, especially about the time
the rainy season will close, so that the wo
men can go across the Pacific. They not
only want the order rescinded, but they al
so desire transportation on government
transports. Nothing is being done in the
matter, because General Otis has not yet
rescinded hih order, and the information
which has been received from him is to the
effect that as soon as the rainy season is
over the officers will be away at the front,
where it will be impossible for their wives
to go, and he is not inclIned to revoke the
order. The occupation of t-he Philippines,
if It requires a large number of troops, is
sure to become unpopular with the wives
of army officers.
Ruined 'by the Goveraument.
Press the Atlants Constitution.
"Yes, sir," said the old mountaineer, "I
wux a man with considerable family con
nections, but I'm all alone in the worl'
"Well, death must come to all of us-It's
only a question of time."
"But it warn't death, sir, or Providenee,
that robbed me of my own; it wus the gov
ernment, sir-the governmenti I had seven
boys that wuz tryin' to earn a hones' Uivin'
makin' 'moonshine' 'liquor, an' the govern
ment swooped down on 'em one dark night
an' landed the last one o' 'em in the penm
tentiary; an' now, from the honorable lofty
station of makrin' liquor on the sly they've
come down to makin' shoes fer a govern
ment that can't whip a handful of yaller
nigger, eut in the PhIlippines"
"And what are you doing for a Uiving?'
he was asked.*
"Oh, I'm a =maka' of 'umoonn*.ima' liquori''
I. the Rear' Ntwee.
Pren the Obsesse Trmss.
"'That poficemman is wearlbg pgretty *no
medal. What is it foe'?'
"Conspicuous bravery in en.mban into
runaway automan. .a ut-iu ..e
FINALLY STRUCK HIS ~ GAAT'
It was plain to see that the Mt-faced
ran with the short day pe ad the bent
straw hat, on the rear geat ~ the open car,
was nnouas to talk. A fhifted about ner
vously 21 his 9eet. sat 10shttavely at
marks n the receding Javilaot several
times, and thou eyed ustwise the sour
loaring. sle-mbilere coM eeI primly
drdased oan alongside-bint.
"Purty warm, ain't it?" he finally sid.
"Um-I don't feel warm," replied the
sour-looking man. #
The man who wanted to talk dug a pen
knife into the bowl of his pipe, and began
"Cert'nly are puttin' it on that poor
Dreyfus man, ain't they?"
"Don't know that they are-probably he
deserves all he's got, and more."
It was a somewhat remarkable statement
for a citizen of this country to give vent
to, but the fat-faced man who hankered to
talk wasn't easily discouraged.
"Bum ball team we've got, ain't it?" he
"I am not Interested in ball, indifferent
The man with the sawed-off pipe didn't
say anything more for a while, but when
the car gave a jolt rounding a curve he
"Kind of a rocky road t' Dublin, ain't
"I don't know anything about Dublin.
Never been there," replied the sour-visaged
The stout-featured man wasn't downed
yet, however, and he went on:
"Be great times around here when
Dewey gits back to us, won't they?"
'Tm sure I don't see why there should
be," was the choppy reply. "Dewey just
did what he was ordered to do; what it was
his duty and business to do, and what he
was paid to do. Don't see why any par
ticular fu'ss should be made over his ar
The man with the pipe looked straight
ahead for awhile, and then he opened up
"Think they'll put Bryan at the head
of the ticket again?" he Inquired.
"Don't know anything about it."
"Even if they do. it looks like a cinch
for McKinley, don't it?"
"It doesn't bother me, one way or the
"Funny game, that little ten-cent Van
Wyck boom the Tammany ducks're tryin'
to put through In New York, ain't it?"
"New York politics do not Interest me."
"Seem t' be shapin' things up some down
in Cuba, I s'pose you've noticed?"
"I haven't noticed anything of the sort."
The fat-faced man looked to be some
what squelched for a while, but after the
car had gone a few squares he opened up
"Seem t' be havin' some trouble roundin'
up that cheap gez(bu of a blatherskite,
Aguinaldo, down there in the Philippines,
The sour-visaged man bridled.
"Blatherskite!" he exclaimed, turning
haughtily.upon the fat-faced man. "You
don't know what you are talking about.
He's the champion of an outraged people,
and you'll find that when the iron heel of
the popular vote is placed upon the neck
of the administration that is responsible
for this infamous persecution of men strug
gling for their liberty that-"
But the fat-facedl man had reached his
getting-off place. As he clutched the stan
chion. preparatory to hopping off, he look
(d the sour-faced man square in the eye,
grinned, and asked:
"Hey, mister, how are things up around
With which Parthian dart he got off.
USES FOR RATTLESNAKE SKINS.
Supply in Practically Inexhaustible
Procens of Tanning.
"Speaking of the uses to which queer
kinds of leather are nowadays put," said a
resident of West Pike, on Pine creek, Pa.,
to the writer recently, "reminds me of a
factory in my town where rattlesnakes'
skins are employed quite extensively for
making a variety of belts, slippers, gloves,
neckties and waistcoats for winter wear.
For several years prior to 1!7 the firm had
been making horse hide gloves arid mittens
for motormen and ratlriad men, but in the
fall of the year mentioned they began to
use rattlesnake skins, for which, there was
no' market. The material was fiund so
pretty and so well adapted for the purpose
for which it was utilized that orders for
the output of the factory were soon re
ceived fro,m every prominent city in the
Unite'd States. The factory, which I he
lieve is the only one, of ks kind in the coun
try, is now dioing a thriving business in
goods made of this novel kind of leather.
"T'lhe skins c.ome to the fac't'ry 5sitel
and with the heads off. Sometimes the
rattles are still attached to the- tail. The
skins are tanned and prepared for us" in
the factory, where the operation requires
thirty days. The curing process removes
all1 the dilsagre''.able odor peculIar to the
raw skin and brings out the natural bright
ness of the black and yellow mottle to per
"The supply of rattlesnake skins is said
to be practically inexhaustible. They come
from the northern tier of Pennsylvania
counties, from the Lake George region.
Colorado, Wyoming and Michigan. The
skins are worth from 25 cents to $2 each.
according to size, those of the black or
male rattler being the most valuable. The
rattles are converted into scarf pins and
sold at fancy prices to people who are fond
of such curiosities."
NEW JERSEY TOMATO CROP.
Dig Enough to Turn Out Fifteen Mil
lion Cans There.
"'The weather of the present summer has
been most favorable for the growth of to
matoes In southern New Jersey, where it is
estimated that this year's crop will amount
to about 85,000 bushels," said the proprie
tor of a leading packing house In Salem
county, N. J., to the writer yesterday.
"This season's tomatoes are exceptionally
fine in quality, but being very abundant not
only in Jersey, but on Long Island and in
New York state, the markets are just now
pretty well glutted with the vegetable. As
a consequence, the farmers are only receiv
ing from 15 to 20 cents per bushel for their
product, or about halt what they do get
when the vegetable Is not so plentiful.
Prices might even go lower for tomatoes
were it not for the heavy demand that now
exists for the vegetable for canning pur
poses. This demand is caused by the par
tial failure of such crops a. peas and string
beans In Jersey and elsewhere. With a
comparatively short supply of peas and
beans the Jersey packing house people are
anticipating an unusually large call for
canned tomatoes between now and next
spring, and in their efforts to satisfy this
expected demand they are pprchazilng large
quantities of tomatoes. This tends to keep*
up the price of the vegetable.
"There are thirty-two -canning factories
in.Salem county and fifteen in Cumberland
coumty, and these forty-seyen concerns
have a capacity for turning out 15,000,000
cans of tomatoes annpzally. This year It is
thought that the New Jersey packs will not
exceed 12,600,000 cans, which Is one-tenth
of 128,000,000, the Average yearly output of
cnned tomatoes in the United States."
A Het Finish,
pirem then New York World.
"Whom have we here?' said the king of
the Cannibal Islands as a prisoner la -set
dier's taniform was dragged befoie ims.
"ne appears to be a raw veernit.' anwer
ed the prime minister.
--V. wanl. ...0. b
"If-thi - anlm a a1a eseest
"had invested In a Vickif Wrth of amilk
and a small iinb W 06den tootfipiks
after getiga..,ls-A tU*as WaaSh1ig
ton mad had U 4 4 Spply the
same to these t*tt* mWk& of i., the
chane of Ws - appiAeo woud have
been eoIdabiy Z probably
had neVer' rt , however.
The knowledge of e best, method
of effacing tattoo marks, used to be con
fined to the ailormdf bu% the' crooks have
got hol4 ,f the schene.-I*nd they employ
It to excellent adva ge '* rendering their
Dertilloned deserlptl&Wa, pn file in the po
lice departments of varioas cities, more or
less doubtful. I never eeild understand,
anyway, why so marny crooks should per
mit themselves to be' tattooed in the first
place. You'd naturally suppose that a
man who embarked upon a career of crime
would give the tattooing geniuses the wid
est possible berth, for in the detection and
capture of criminals the Bertillon system
fades into insignificance in comparison with
the tattoo marks of the crooks wanted.
No two men, perhaps, in the world are
tattooed precisely alike, and a criminal's
tattooed pictures are just as useful to de
tectives as thumb marks are valuable to
Chinese banking officials in the detection
of forgeries on checks. The modern school
of crooks appreciate the disadvantages of
having themselves tattooed arid abstain
from the practice. Hundreds of middle
aged crooks, -however, had the marks nee
dled into their hides when young and vealy
in crime, and before such elaborate descrip
tions of the persons of criminals were re
corded by the police authorities, and I've
been told that most of these bitterly re
pent their tattoo marks.
"The milk-and-toothpick treatment of
tattoo mifks'Is'the simplest thing in life.
All you've got to do is to dip the tooth
pick in milk and jab away at the bit of
tattooing that you want erased. It is a
trifle painful, of course. The skin must be
broken over all the surface of the tattoo
mark, to let the milk into the flesh. The
milk absorbs the indelible ink, and when
the scab heals the tattoo mark is no longer
there. A scar is left, but by no means so
bad a scar as is left after a tattoo mark
has 'been treated- by the electric needle.
Crooks have been known to have other de
vices tattooed over the scars left by the
effacing of previous marks by the milk
and-toothpick processes. They've done this
for the purpose of nullifying the value of
their Bertilloned descriptions on file here
and there around the country, and there
have been cases on record where they've
made it stick, too. For instance, a man
supposed to be John Smith, the well-known
pickpocket, is arrested in New York on
suspicion. He's an old-timer, and perhaps
he -has remained away from New York so
long that the police officials there have for
gotten him and cannot positively identify
him. So they refer to their files for a de
scription of John Smith's marks. They
find that John Smith, according to the illed
description. has a blue anchor tattooed on
his right forearm. John Smith pulls up his
right sleeve and shows them that he has no
such a thing tattooed on hs right forearm,
The device there imprinted is a blue-and'.
red five-pointed star. - Detect'ves tell me
that any quantity of Jqhn Smiths have got
out of quod on showings of this sort.
"I don't think I stavW in any immediate
danger of being apprehanded as a pickpock
et or anything like thaA. and.yet I'd prefer
not to have the t*ttoe usurka-thaL I had
printed on me out in J_4)an when I- was a
young man in the iervice. One grows
weary of his- tattoo marks. The young o-fl
ctrs of my day nearly.aU had themselves
mark--d up with the tattooing neoille-bunch,
Just as thV bluejaeJkets did, but I think
we're all mote or less sorry for it. , TP#
sorriest twp aWople I ever knew over tattoo
marks were a couple of young women,bokh
of them datighters of onw of the most raan.
its~ admirals of the old navy. They Act.
comnpanied their father out to' the (hin4
station. and while to Japan, in a spirit.of
mischief. th*y both had their cheeks tat
tooed a lovely, blushing pink. The job was
done by the finest tattoner in the empire
of Jan, and it simply made the young
wotheh lok as if they were blessed., with
the pharming high dolor of perfect health.
Their father. the Q1. admiral, raged'and
stormod- 6VetV-fr( 'hut the job was done,
never to De in'one.. When the two-~young
wdtinn rew a bit elderly, still, of course,
preserv.ing thie peachy color in their cheeks,
thfr women riends, naturally enough,
accused them--supposably behind their
b-a,'ks--of using rouge, and I have heard
both of them bewail their foolishness in
having that extraordinary hit of tattooing
performed ou their countenances.
"There was a funny tattooing ink4ent
on board the ship to which I was attached
r,n the Mediterranean station aboiut ten
years ago. The executive officer of the
ship-of course. yotu know that the execu
tive ,fficer. or 'first luff.' as the bluejack
its call him, is, next to the captain, the
biggest man aboard a man-o'-war--was
i' rhaps the quietest and most reserved
man in the American navy. He had been
a goodl deal'of a blade as a young man In
the service, but he had sifted dowri early,
nnd byv the time he reached the grade of
lieutenant commander- the reserve with
which he treated all hands, fore and aft,
and his ev'ident disike for men of many
words was known throughout the navy.
"An ensign was sent out to our ship .to
replace a young man who had been re
leved. The new young officer had been' the
talkiest cadet, perhaps.. who ever went
through Annapolis, and his penchant for
v'olcbility clung to him. after he got his
uniform. His gdil'tufousness was a bit
wearisome. too, particularly as the youth
possessed a whole lot of obviously youthiful
ideas, which hp liked to spring at the ward'
room table, and which often involved little
hits at the older-offcers, One day. soon
after joining the ship, the.yoing ensign he
gan tgt. th-e.nss room table to dilate on
the subject of tattooing. He abhorred .tat
tooing, it seemed. He had- noticed that a
large percentage of our ship's -coninany
forward -were tatteeed, and.it pained.him.
"'It's a barbarous, silly, disgusting,.rac
tice,' said the young mari, 'and there ought
to he a regulation providing for the se
verest punishment ~to be meted ~out 'upon
any m.an, fo:-e or aft, who per'rnits himiself
to he tattooed. An offcer wiho pej'ntts
himself to bes tattoed o@ightmR Uie -dismissed
the seryibe.' ~ - - " -
"Now, that was pretty Vah'rh talk, nrins
much as most of us at4be egbie were^msore
or less marked up witH 'Ehe'"ieedlr inut the
older men in the servie mgke allowances
for the rawness of the young' ehaps ahid
so nothing was said. 'pife exeeutive oIn'er
regarded the talkative -boy0with a vague
smile in his eyes, and th'etr- tiansferred his
attention to his plate. ~
"We had a salt watefi-shdPer -bath fie.
aft on the main deck wherewith to cool
ourselves when we turned out in the morn
ing. We'd -stand under tteshing in short
trunks and then go qgr. urselves with
fresh water. On the roflwing mnorning
after the young eninhabse tattoo
ing so soundly the execnhtivefoffeer walked
out under the sh9wey~.batIj his-.tvunks.
The younig ensign happeno be the offi
cer of the deck, and it wBM1'studyI to ob
serve how his eyes stuck oft"whltt be had
one good. opk at- the. ersn' ofa the lh-st
luff,' his very niuch snupeipr offier.. The
executiva.,fioer ,wjs a gis,at 'of six- feet'
two. - On hi.; o S4 le had tpttooe$. au -eer
mnous fuU.rg.Iip- in blue ~an red. On:
his back he ha a really fine, iece.about
a foot and,a-,baif Long a - la.that. had'
been done by aJaau ae. re
four colors-blue, e, gden baepamit
!green. On his br.j yY a fm the
shoulders almant tpu 9 it were nicely'
punctured aneUfii, boa cotitr,weep
ing willows, stars, flags anudi . iPh eg
him in frues beind the 4mglne a
--th...Ii h...i.it, W.i.h eha,.ei.e
hat p snmnions s"t laSee duw
gthe seeaimr of the erebe uase ne
THEY KNEW THEIR BUSINESS
"On my last trip out I attended a Party
of 9" *es folks in a suburb 41 a las.
Weslem dt that was a prettfnee1i asb%
a& things donaldered," said a p"t 011'" 14
-am. "With your Ia- p.s s pu, rni
just lead v# to that' pay with jud a bit
of a yrqogue.
"A yomig, man and. a yauig was-we,
not overly young, now, but young enough
who had been employed, the mail as a
clerk anid the young woman as a stdafip
seller in the post office I'm speaking of
for the past fifteen ye#rs or so, appear to
have been something of a standing joke
among the other post office employee for
about a dozen years of that period. Stand
ing joke, for the reason that for the past
twelve years It has been well known all
around that the two were what's called
'going together,' and yet, according to the
best knowledge and belief of all hands,
they never appeared to have got to the
point of fixing a day and date for the cer
emony. The man has been devoted. it
seems. to the seller of stamps right along
during all that time, placing flowers on her
deFk in the morning, taking her to the
cars under his umbrella on rainy evenings,
and all that sort of thing. Then, too, the
post office folks, especially the young wo
men employer--the young women seem to
have a faculty for getting next, as It were,
to these little matters--have been noticing
the two at the theaters, at picnics, and at
all sorts of proper places of entertainment
during all these years. They never saw
the man with any other young woman, nor
the young woman with any other escort.
Yet the years rolled along, and the two
never seemed to have made it up between
them about the little stand-up before a
minister. Neither of these two thought-to
be indeterminate people was immune, of
course, from the ageing touch of time, and
they went right along getting a bit older
In appearance, like all the rest of their fel
"They were both guyed a good deal, of
course, about their apparently resultless
mutual devotion, and they both took the
" 'Say, for heaven's sake, when is it
going to happen, old man?' the man's fel
low-employes have been saying to him
right along at intervals for years, and he
has always grinned sheepishly, told 'em
good-naturedly to mind their own little
books, and gone ahead with his work. He
was promoted right along, being a high
grade man at a desk.
"The girls in the office have been gently
poking fun at the girl, too, It seems, for
3ears past about her apparent Inability to
'land' her admirer, but she always told
then that she wasn't losing any- sleep about
'JAndiqgK anything or anybody, and she,
'Just went ahead with her little job,
drew ker nay and kept her own counsel.
She took a good rest of a couple of months
every year or so, and always returned to
work with renewed interest and industry.
"WOll, when I got out to this town the
lt itree there was ronsiderable speculative
talk around the office about a party to
which this young couple had invited all
l'ands in the post office, the party, accord
ing to the invitations, to come off at the
'home of some mutual friends' out in one
of the suburbs. Just why the two should
unite in Inviting the whole outfit to a party
was something that couidn't be under
" 'The party's just a blind, and they're
going to be married at last and take this
method of inviting us to the ceremony,'
was the geo-ral verdict.
"I went out on the suburban train with
the big crowd of post office people.who had
Leen invited to the party. All had to take
the same train to rvach the suburb at the
h ruoappointed. The 'home of some mutual
friends' was only about four minutes' walk
from the station. When we all traipsed up
the steps of the front porch of as pretty a
Queen Anne house, surrounded by t weil
k!epty*'d, is I've seen this year, the two
who had never 'made up their minds' were
waiting for us.-hey appeared to be pretty
niA!h.At home, at that, nor were there any
'mutual friends' around that we could sea.
It -was on. bit puzzling. What was more
puzzling, however, was. the presence on
tbe *oreh of four pretty children-the o'd
est a. girl of about eleven, tlWn a boy of
ten, iiriothr girl of eight or so, and then
a little tad of a boy about four.
'The two indeterminate people were smil
ing all over, and the way they enjoyed the
puzzled expressions on the features of their
felOW-employes was sure enough a caution.
I think several of us 'dropped' at once, but
there were others who didn't.
" 'What lovely children!' exclaimed one
of the young women who had been foremost
in guying her indeterminate sister-employe.
'Whose are they?'
' Ours,' replied the 'indeterminate' young
woman, looking rather affectionately and
smlingly at the man who had been a
standing gag for his apparent lack of de
"Well, I fear that some of the women in
the party froze just a trifle then, but the
mnothe'r of the pretty Children waved us all
intc the parlor, and there, garlanded about
with a lot of flowers, was the marriage
certilinte framed upon the wall. It showed
that. the two had been married in the
st ring of 188'7.
"Well, you ought to have heard the fun,
"'Why, you deceitful thing!' exclaimed
the women, going up and hugging the smil
ing woman who had. quite 'unbeknownst'
to them, b.sen a wife for twelve years.
'Well, dern your hide for a sly 'one!'
said the men to the husbanal andl father,
pounding him on the back until he must
have been sore. 'And you've been having
the merry laugh on the whole bunch of us
a;lk these years!'
"Well, It seems that they had both been a
bit afraid of losing their positions In the
p)ost pffice, when they had first decided to
'd.tuble up,' if the information of th' ir mar
riage leaked out. There's nothing but an
unwritten law against a man and wife be
ing employed In the same government out
-fit, but they had decided, anyway, to keep
their business to themselves, The wife
had intended to resign her position after a
cou~pJe of years, but when she found that
this wouldn't be absolutely necessary, she
et ntinued on in the employ of Uncle Sam,
so that on the night of that party the two
.rot only owned their own.pretty home, but,
as they informed us with quite natural
pride, a row of well-rented houses In the
'just wanta to transfer the laugh
onto you folks before resigning my post
tior, tomorrow,' said the wife and mother,
amiably, when the supper vwas about fin
ished, and then she had to kiss all the wo
men all over again.
"She did resign her position the next
day, and the men in the office have been
miauling her husband around ever since
for his protracted foxiness,"
She Changed Her Mind.
A young couple In a Lancashire village
had been courting for several years, The
young man one day said to the woman:'
"Sall, I canna marry thee."
"How's that?" asked she.
"I've changed my mind," said he.
"Well, I'll tell you what we'll do," said
she, "If folk know that it's thee as has
given mne up, I shanna be able to get an
other- chap; but if they think that I've
gives you up, then I can get another chap.
Bo.we'll have the banns published, and- when
the wedding day comes the parson wil say
t,o thee, 'Wilt thou hate this woman to be
thy.-wedded wife?" and tha must say 'I
wilL.' And- when he says to me, Wllt thou
have this man- to be thy wedded husband?'
Lasball- say '1 winna' "
The day came, and when -the minister
asid:e "Wtt thou have this wpman to be
thy-wedded wife?" the man answered:
Then the parson- said -to the woman:
3"WUt thau'tave this sma to. be thy Wed
ged..husbgadV- Awd Ukhe said
"ake m.ahanema wor a~j1 slame*
An owl in a belfry sat one night,
As owls are supposed to do,
And he waLbled his lay with serene delight.
"To-who." said the owl; "to-whoo!"
But a wise man happened near by to stray,
. And his visage was- dark with gloom.
And he murmured, "Oh, why do you hoot
You ought to have said 'to whom!'"
No Need of Welkias.
The old man was sitting in front of his
house on a stump which had been cut with
a step, so as to make It do duty as a car
"Through work for the day?" asked the
young man with a golf cap.
The old man nodded.
"It has been a great year for agricul
He inclined his head once more.
"And, of course, you are duly jubilant.
You will be in a position to pay off any
mortgages which may have been worrying
you, and to equip yourself with improved
farm machinery. You can buy a piano for
the girls and a new carriage for yourself.
There's no doubt about It. You people are
right in the swim. It's your turn to make
the welkin ring."
The old man !ooked at him questioningly,
and then responded:
"I guess not. The peddlers that come
along this road has offered a terrible lot o'
new-tangled notions, but they never men
tioned welkins. When we want any ringin'
done we ain't botherin' about no welkins,
anyhow. We're makin' the dinner bell ring
reg'lar every day. an' it's a heap o' satis
faction to sit here silent an' reflect that
every note of it means business."
A Hot Day Episode.
"Have you anything horrible in stock?"
asked the young man with the limp collar
and the suffused brow as he walked Into
the lair of the bookseller.
"By any particular author?"
"I couldn't specify. To tell you the truth,
I ain't literary, But a friend of mine was
describing something he read and I have
been thinking that maybe books have more
sense in 'em than I gave 'em credit for. I
forgot the name of it, but anything In that
"There are some ghost stories over on
"May I read a little in 'em, just to sam
pie the goods?"
In less than a quarter of an hour he came
back to the bookseller.
"It'll take too long to find out that way,"
he said. "I haven't seen anything yet that
fills the bill."
"I'm afraid we haven't what you want in
"I'll get my friend to give me the title
and then come back. He said it would he
something that would freeze the blood in
your veins and make your hair stand on
end. If I could find something to do that
I'd be the most liberal customer you ever
sold to. I'm dead tired of having the blood
go through my veins like hot water through
the pipes of a Turkish bath, and if I could
get something that would make my hair
stand on end awhile so the breeze could get
through It I'd gfve you the biggest bill in
my salary envelope and never say a word
except 'keep the change.'"
An Invincible Debater.
There's no one else In all the world
Kin talk like Uncle Jim.
He's like a cyclone freshly curled
An' full o' patriot vim.
The folks floek in from every side,
From village an' from farm,
To hear the way he "p'Ints with pride"
Or "views things with alarm."
He'll make you throw your bosom out
An' walk like any king:
Or else he'll fill your soul with doubt
An' bid your hopes take wing.
He lets the facts an' figgers slide;
It's oratory's charm
That thrills you when he "p'ints with pride"
Or "views things with alarm."
He's recognized through all the town
A terror in debate.
The man who tries to pin him down
Is flying ag'in fate.
His throat he simply opens wide.
An' swings his good right arm
In sweepin' curves an "p'ints with prIde"
Or "vIews things with alarm."
"Mandy," said Farmer Corntossel, "they's
su'thin' I wanter prepare yer mind fur."
"They ain't nothin' desprit goin' to hap
pen, is they?" she asked, as she stopped
her churning in the middle of a stroke.
"Nothin' to shed tears or have hysterics
over. But sometimes the small disapp'int
ments of lfe sort o' eats into the heart an'
makes people low spirited an' saps their
THE FOUR AGES
Fiom JTounal Amusant.
constitutions. The best thing to do In to
look the future square in the face an' be
prepared fur what's comn'. You know
Admiral Dewey has said straight up an'
down, square out from the shoulder. that
he ain't goln' to run fur President. An'
when the admiral says anythin' he means
it, whe.her it goes in English or has to be
translated'into German. Do you foller me.
"I'm a-limpin' along. Joslar. But I must
say I got over bein' disapp'inted about his
not runnin' fur President some time ago."
"Of course. But in case you ever have
occasion to meet the admiral I don't want
you to be disappinted in him. Women
folks has kind o' got in the way of ex
pectin' men folks to be allus bowin' an'
scrapin', an' behavin' like life was all one
grand, sweet surprise party. When the ad
miral has shook off the weight of official
care there's no tellin' where he may go in
search of summer board. He's jes' as li
able to light in our neighborhood as not,
Mandy, an' you mustn't lay it up agin him
if he seems kind o' cold an' forbiddin'."
"I s'pose," she answered pensively. "that
he kind o' gits in the way o' speakin' short
an' quick, tellin' men to man the yard arm,
an' run up the spanker boom, an' sech
things. 'cause when he wants anythit*
done he wants it in a hurry."
"Tain't that. But gossip gits started ter
rible easy. An''ef Dewey was to go around
shakin' hands permisc'ous, an' kissin' ba
bies. an' complimentin' ladies on their love
ly crochet work. they'd be sure to say he
had gone back on his resolution not to run
fur office an' was out tryin' to git votes. I
thought I'd warn you in time. Mandy, an'
make it all clear. Us men folks has to do
a heap o' explainin' in this world to keep
from gettin' misunderstood."
How They Are Made and What They
Cont-All the Way Froam Canton.
A truck load of boxes containing thou
sands of pairs of thick-soled, white-edged
shoes, such as are worn by Chinamen. were
recently stacked in the store room of a
wholesale dealer in oriental goods in New
"Are those shoes made in this country?"
inquired the writer as he looked at a part
of the stock displayed to view in an open
"No," replied the merchant, "they all
come from Canton. where they are made by
hand. Between 150,000 and 200,000 pairs of
such shoes are annually imported by some
half dozen wholesale houses, mostly in New
York. From this city the shoes are dis
tributed to hundreds of retailers of oriental
goods throughout the south, east and west,
where they are so'd to all classes of China
men at from $1 to $3 per pair, according to
the quality and finish.
"The methods employed in the manufac
ture of Chinese shoes are ingenious and
interesting. The bottom soles are made
of from ten to fifteen layers of very thin
leather placed one upon another, making
a built-up sole. . This sole is stitched
through and through in many places on
regular lines, giving the bottom of the sole
a sort of quilted effect. This work is neatly
and trimly done even on the cheapest shoes,
and when the sewing is completed a white
material resembling plaster Is applied to
the edges of the sole. When the white edge
of the shoe, which Is extremely hard, be
comes soiled it can be cleaned and whiten
ed again by rubbing it with a damp cloth.
"The top or upper of the Chinese shoe is
usually of cloth, silk or satin, and the lin
ing is always of the same material. Vel
vet is, however, often used on the top, cut
in patterns that are laid over the body of
the shoe, which may be of silk or satin in
some bright color, while the velvet may be
of b:ack. producing a picturesque and strik
ing appearance. Such shoes, when embroid
ered, are only worn by persons of rank
and cost from $5 to 25.
In Heroic Attitude.
When Sir John Steell, the noted English
sculptor, had the Duke of Wellington sit
ting for a statue he wanted to get him to
look warlike. All his efforts were in vain,
however, for Wellington seened, judging
by his face, never to have heard of Water
loo or Talavera. At last Sir John lost pa
tience somewhat, and this scene followed:
"As I am going to make this statue of
your grace, can you not tell me what you
were doing before, say, the battle of Sala
manca? Were you not galloping about the
fields cheering on your men to deeds of
valor by word and action?"
"Bah!" said the duke in evident scorn,
"if you really want to model me as I was
on the morning of Salamanca, then do me
crawling along a ditch on my stomach, with
a telescope in my hand."
Good Reason for a Change.
From the Chicago Post.
"Why did you change milkmen?"
"Well, I discovered that the one I ama
taking milk from now has a nice. clear
sp.ring on his farm, while the other had
nothing but a cistern."
From the St. Louis Star.
The city girl, who spent her vacation on
a farm, Imagined she had solved the mean
ing of "Pasteurized milk." She saw the
cows feeding from the pasture. What
could b2 simpler?
OF A BATHER,