Evening star. [volume], August 10, 1901, Page 14, Image 14

About Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972

Image provided by: Library of Congress, Washington, DC

                
THINGS
~ HEARD ,
OT,iSEEN~
"I wish some of my colleagues woulft just
look In this iloor now," said a member of
the House of Representatives to a Star re
porter as he stood gazing into th? hall of
the House from the east corridor a few days
ago. "It would perhaps be a good thing to
give them a better understanding of ex
actly how 'the floor of this House/ of
which they rant so much in debate, is con
structed. If they knew that underneath
their feet was a veritable 'whitened sepul
chre' it might have an influence on some of
their flights of imagination."
The member was referring to the beauti
ful white tile bottom of the cement founda
tion over which the floor structure of the
House is now being built. The white tile
is an innovation in this place, but its supe
riority over the old cement work is at once
manifest. Between the tiled foundation
and the floor proper is a space used as an
air chamber, and with the present con
struction this chamber can be kept spot
lessly clean.
The new floor is to furnish seating space
for the larger Congress to be elected next
time, and to do this the grade of the floor
is somewhat raised. In the rear corners it
is at least two feet higher than the old one,
and several additional seats can thus be
provided for. Several additional steps will
be required at the rear entrances to the
hall, and at least one at the side entrances.
The marble altar which does service as
Speaker's stand and clerks' desks has not
been disturbed.
*****
"We want to let as many of the people
as possible be present at the Schley in
quiry," said a naval officer in guarded tones
to a Star reporter, "but we are at a loss
for a place suitable to meet our desires in
this respect. We want to have it so that
the public at large need not be content
with what it sees in the newspapers, but
that private individuals may come and t>te
and hear what goes on for themselves."
"You're going to 'play to the gallery,'
then?" interrupted The Star reporter.
"You might call it that." replied the offi
cer, "for indeed the fact that tho Naval
Library has a gallery is what recommended
the consideration of that room to us as the
scene of the much iooked-for event. But
even that selection would only admit a
limited number of outsiders, after those
actually a part of the inquiry, and the
press have been accommodated. Indeed,
the only course which now seems open to
us. it we expect to have conditions as we
want them, is to hire one of the theaters,
and thus insure ample room for all."
"Why not Convention Hall?" asked the
report-r. with a meaning smile, and the in
terview closed abruptly.
*****
"A few weeks ago a resident of Brook
land decided to investigate a portion of the
tin gutter running around his house," said
a citizen of that suburb. "For nearly two
months the gutter had not carried off the
water into a barrel at one corner of the
house. Instead of the water coming down
through the Joint to the barrel it would
overflow near the elbow Joint. Obviously
the gutter was stopped. A long ladder was
procured and a man sent up to clean out
the gutter. He found the nest of an Eng
lish sparrow built right over the hole of the
elbow joint. The shingles had partially
covered tlie nest, affording some protection
to the sparrow, but the nest was not the
cause of the trouble. The sagacious little
pair of sparrows had built a dam of mud
and other articles about six Inches above
the nest so as to keep the water off, and
do you know that the dam was a most ef
fective and perfect one? It had prevented
any water from running on the nest and
enabled th? sparrows to raise a family in
that peculiar place. The dam was so >,are
fully constructed that the sparrows must
have spent many days at work on it. I
never knew before that a sparrow would
can-y mud in its mouth, but that these two
did so there is not the slightest doubt.
The discovery shows what wonderful little
things birds are."
*****
^e invited bids some time ago," said
on official of the Navy Department to a
Star reporter, "for a number of minor sup
plies. and among the articles required was
a small amount of scouring soap. We
awarded the contract for the latter to a
merchant In New York, and on informing
htm of the acceptance of his bid advised
him of the formalities which he must ob
serve in supplying the government, how he
was to have his contract drawn up in trip
lit ate, and a lot of other necessary red
tape, and also acknowledged the receiDt of
hb certMM ,-heck tor .10? to guaiSSi?,hl
faithful execution of the contract. Now
the value of the Soap we wanted just then
totaled and when the merchant received
the department's communication he evi
dently adjudged the game not worth the
candle, for we received a very nice little
communication from him, in which he
stated that on reconsideration he would
withdraw his bid. and would send on im
mediately as a gift to the government
enough soap to cover our needs. I don't
think .lis letter was meant to be sarcastic
He was just accommodating."
*****
"I was the recipient of an unusual privi
lege last summer." said a yo^ng newspa
per correspondent to a Star reporter,
which was unsought by me, and assuredly
Involuntarily bestowed, and this is how it
came about. I had been sent out to the
Turkish legation to interview All Ferrouh
Bey, the retiring minister, who has Just
left this country-, on a phase of the Ameri
can claims matter, then at an acute stage.
It was a hot. drowsy day, and the lega
tion quarters lodked as sleepy as I was I
was half-way up the front steps when I
was startled by an unintelligibleexrtamJ
<f^r
tion from the porch, a few quick, sharp
commands and then a flying female figure
darted into the noase and clattered back
into its recesses. In a moment I realized
that I had caught a glimpse of what no
male but her lord and master is supposed
to have seen?the face of the minister's
wife. 1 was completely nonplused, real
izing with what jealous care orientals
guard the faces of their wives from the
gaze of other men, and had forebodings as
to my reception. But All Ferrouh Bey was
all suavity and politeness, as usu^l, evi
dently realizing that my intrusion was en
tirely unavoidable, end, after a cooling
drink and a few of the minister's fine cigar
ettes, not to merution a nice interview, 1
started back to town, none the worse for
my little adventure."
% * * + *
"The recent outing of the troops of the
National Guard near Leesburg, Va., proved
Instructive to me, not only in a military
way. but otherwise," remarked an officer
of the general staff of the District of Co
lumbia militia to a Star reporter. "I en
Joyed the benefits of an object lesson show
ing the effect of excitement on a well
known class of domestic animals.
"In connection with the rather elaborate
field maneuvers of the troops In progress
early during the morning of the day prior
to breaking camp, I served as one of the
umpires, and was assigned to accompany
the platoon of the 4th Battery, U. S. Field
Artillery, which was part of the attacking
force. The evening preceding the maneu
vers this detachment of regulars moved
along the road leading to Edwards' terry
| and halted at a point about six miles from
Camp Ordway. The battery entered a field
and was soon hidden behind a large barn.
At 2 o'clock in the morning it took pos
session of a secure position on the edge of
a wood and when the firing began shortly
before daylight did a large part of the work
of reducing Fort Evans, held by the de
fending force.
"The fight having been declared at an
end I stopped at a farmhouse near where
the battery had been located In quest of
seme milk to drink with my breakfast of
hardtack and cold beans. There I learned
to my surprise that the cows belonging to
the farmer had that morning supplied only
about one-third their usual quantity of
milk. This state of affairs was ascribed to
the fright of the animals caused by the
firing of the field guns.
"And strange as It may seem," concluded
the officer, "that farmer did not fiie a claim
at militia headquarters for reimbursement
for milk he was shy as the result of our
field maneuvers."
* * ? ? *
An elderly man, with ragged and badly
fitting clothes, a shuffling gait, a rum-be
sotted face covered with about three days'
growth of beard and with a breath that
indicated the close proximity of a distil
lery, wandered into a down-town drug
store the other morning about 1 o'clock.
The saloons had closed. Staggering up to
the drug clerk, he leaned over the counter
and remarked, huskily:
"Say, Willie, Just fill that up with alco
hol. Ten cents' worth, see?"
The ragged man produced a whisky flask,
and, passing a dime over to the clerk, set
tled in a nearby chair with a grunt of
contentment.
"Alcohol, eh?" answered the clerk.
"What do you want it for? We're not
selling rum In this place."
The ragged Individual arose, and, going
over to the clerk, observed, In what was
Intended to be & highly Injured tone of
voice
"Now, youse, don't get gay wit me.
Rum? Who said anything aboutf rum?
That Juice Is goln' to me chafin' dish
around the block. I'm goln' to cook me a
grind, see? So chase along, me lad, and
produce the good."
The clerk smiled, but nevertheiees filled
the order.
"That's the practice of those fellows
pretty generally," he said, after the bum
had departed. "He has Just made a hot
touch, and being unable to get Into ft sa
loon is going to drink the real stuff. We
have ten or fifteen orders for alcohol from
his class every night. On Sunday, If we
chose to sell it, we could do a rushing
business in that line. The sable-colored
bootblacks in this vicinity drink It almost
entirely. Ten cents' worth In a half-pint
flask mixed with a little pump water, some
sugar and lemon Juice makes enough of a
certain kind of gin" to produce the much
craved-for sensation. They tell me all
sorts of stories when I ask them to what
use they want to put the poison. A hobo
staggered into the place the other night
for a dime's worth. ... . ?
" 'Nothing doing,' I remarked, laconically,
seeing that he was nine-tenths soused al
ready. . . . . ?
" 'Aw, now, come on, he pleaded. I
wants the dope for private use. That's on
the level.' ? _ , , .
" 'What do you want it forT I asfcea,
with some curiosity.
"He came over to within whispering dis
tance, and, leaning over the counter, re
marked In very confidential tones:
" 'Say, youse Just keep this on the quiet.
I wouldn't let it get out for the world.
I'm painting a picture of me old college
chum. Chauncfy M. Depew, up to de house,
and I wants the stuff to mix me oils.'
"He got the booze.
. Parliamentary Sitting!.
from the London Chronicle.
Parliamentary sittings in the early days
began generally at 8 o clock in the morn
ing, but often at 0 or 7, and continued un
til 11. the committee being appointed to sit
In the afternoon. In the time of Charles
II 9 o'clock was the usual hour for com
mencing publlo business, and 4 o'clock the
hour for rising. At a later period 10 o'clock
was the ordinary time of meeting, and the
practice of adjourning the house nominally
until that hour continued until 1806, al
though so early a meeting had long been
discontinued. According to the present
practice no hour is named by the house for
Its next meeting, but it is announced in
the "votes" at what hour Mr. Speaker will
take the chair. There Is nothing to prevent
the house sitting at a later hour than usual
for the sake of convenience. Thus on the
occasion of the naval review at Splthead in
1853 it did not meet until 10 o'clock &t
night.
Ma-"Gracious! What's the matter with
the baby?"
Pa?"Oh. he bumped his head against one
of the pedals of the piano."
Ma?"Poor little dearl Perhaps he's se
riously hurt."
Pa?"Nonsense! It was the soft pedal he
struck."?Tit-Bits.
THE JOYS OF TOURING.
From Ilincn.
Traveler?"I say. your raaor*s pulUn* m ost confoundedly!"
Ix>cal torturer?"Be It, sur? Wall, 'old on tight to the chair, an' we'll fat It off
wramow!" ? . ?
CONTRARY TO PRECEDENT
"I'm a loose maverick that's never been
branded!" roared Plsen Bill, dancing
around the platform of the station at Holy
Smoke Gulch Just as the eastern train came
in. "I eat cobras while they're still a
wr'gglin'l I can lick a alligator under wa
ter an* skin him "ithout ever comln' t' th'
top fr breath! Whee, wow-ee! but I sure
am bad!" and Pi sen Bill let out a series of
whoops that echoed from the surrounding
hills ^and made the station seem lik* a
leaping billow of sound.
Plsen Bill was still exuding mighty
blasts and Jumping around and telling how
bad he was, when an undersized, pale-hair
ed, pink-cheeked young man, with stooped
shoulders, spectacles, and the general air
of a Massachusetts student, walked up to
him and gave him a i>oke in the ribs wltn
his thunjb. _ ' ,
"Bad, eh?" said the tenderfoot-looking
young man with the specs to the amazed
Pisen Bill, who loomed about two feet over
him. and looked down upon him from that
great height as if he belonged to the sqiiir
rel species. 4U??yt you're not bad. You just
think you're bad?"
"Huh?" said Pisen Bill, gasping for
breath. "What's that you say, sonny?"
"I say," replied the tenderfoot, pulling
out a nice fresh pocket handkerchief and
wiping the dust out of his eyes with It,
"that vou're not even a little bit bad. iou
just imagine ail that. That's a bug you've
got?that you're bad. I know lots of bad
der people than you are who live in brown
stone fronts right on Beacon street in Bos
ton. I've often wanted to stack up against
a person of your sort, that thinks he s
about the baddest ever, so's I could tell
him that he's letting his fancy run away
with his perception of the facts. You?"
"Look a-here, Bud," put In Plsen Bill,
still so astonished that he could barely
frame his words, "who are you, anyhow?"
"Who, me?" said the tenderfoot with the
specs, gaining confidence and again poking
Pisen Bill in the ribs with his thumb.
"Why, I'm justa tourist on this train that's
pulled in here for a minute or two, and I
heard your declarations about your bad
ness, and I just thought I'd drop off to call
you. You won't do for a minute with me
when it comes to that bad question. I don't
believe you ever saw a cobra in your life,
and as to your being an unbranded maver
ick, forget it. You wouldn't know a maver
ick from a mongoose if you saw one. You
pain me, and for two cents I'd hand you a
Jolt on the jaw that 'ud drive you to a
painless dentist on the lope. How's that?"
Pisen Bill drew back for a second or so.
and he looked so stunned that?
But hold on right here.
If the veracious writer of this strictly
veracious narrative were disposed to follow
in the footsteps of the young persons who
execute screechingly funny stories for the
colored weekly press, he'd go on and de
scribe how the tenderfoot from Boston
suddenly shot out his right and caught the
counterfeit Plsen Bill square in the stom
ach, and how, when Pisen Bill involuntari
ly bent forward, feeling of the place where
he had been hit, the tenderfoot followed the
rap up with a swift left-hand jab on the
point of the chin, which would cause the
great hulking bad man to go to the plat
form, whereupon the tenderfoot would pass
him a couple of swift kicks, remove his
guns from his cartridge belt, kiss his hand
daintily to the fallen giant and swing upon
the train as it moved out of the station;
whereupon all hands In the station and on
the train would comment upon the occa
sional way of the real smart tenderfoot in
handling the bad man.
However, the writer hereof Isn't follow
ing in the footsteps of the young persons
who perform screamingly humorous stunts
for the vari-hued comic weeklies. He
doesn't have to, for he clings with a con
scientiousness that Is almost despairing to
the domain of fact.
Such being the case?
Pisen Bill drew back for a second or so,
and he looked so stunned that the tender
foot was inspired to hand him another
cute poke in the ribs with his thumb.
Right at this point, and with a great
laugh that echoed hollowly and anon re
verberated sonorously among the eternal
hills, Pisen Bill reached down, took the be
spectacled tenderfoot from the Back Bay
district by the scruff of the neck, sat down
on a baggage truck, placed the tenderfoot
across his vast buckskin-clad knee, and
then for exactly eight minutes by the sta
tion clock he sounded the devil's tattoo on
the frame of that rash tenderfoot tn a
manner that beat all of the childhood recol
lections of the latter bearing upon hair
brushes and carpet slippers in a common
canter. All of the hangers-on around the
station and the passengers stretching their
legs from the train enjoyed the spectacle
beyond words, and Plsen Bill, from the
sound of his Gargantuan laughter, enjoy
ed It more than any of them. He finally
brought the shouting tenderfoot to a stand
ing position, gave him a couple of good-na
tured siaps on the wrist just for luck, and
then booted him on board the train, re- |
marking that the next time he passed that !
way and heard him (Pisen Bill) announc
ing himself as bad or the worst ever It
'ud be up to him to believe it or to go to
the knee for another paddling. This closed
the Incident, for the train Immediately
pulled out with the chagrined tenderfoot.
When we have so few Illusions left to
us, it is revolting, for a fact, to have to
shatter even a little one like this, but we
are a whole lot of a Gadgrind ourselves,
and when that Immortal remarked that
facts were facts he had his little book
about pat.
MARRY OR NOT.
A Really and Truly Modern Hovel of
the Sublimely Soulful Sort,
Bhe stood on the threshold.
Geoffrey D'Odenreld was sitting, or
rather crouching, before a fire whose Jets
illumined his tall, bent figure. A covert
coat was thrown across his shoulders; he
held It together about his throat with one
hand. There was something imposing In
his attitude and his solitariness. The room
was dark except for the fitful flicker of
the Are, and for a radiant moon which hung
In the window pane, flooding the apartment
from floor to celling. It drew strange
traceries of cold light and weird shadow
upon the floor and the yellow damask fur
niture.
At the sound of her footstep he turned;
he looked dazed a moment. She noticed
that he was deathly pale. He sprang to
his feet. Jerking the coat from his shoul
ders. It fell to the floor.
' She hesitated and wavered a moment on
the threshold.
"Ah," he murmured, "I thought you
would come to me, queen of my soul."
"Yes," she said, as if not heeding his
words, "I have came."
"You see," he continued, "It was useless
for me to continue to struggle. From the
fir St I knew that I was yours. You see, I
needs must feel that the worship I give to
you has for an hour, at least, made our
souls one. I sometimes think you must
have seen it all on that first night. I knew
that my soul had found Its master In a
tenderness Illimitable. Ah, from tho first I
saw you as you are?angel and goddess.
There Is no act of self-repression, no act of
self-lmmolatlon man may not commit for
you?no fond and foolish thing one has read
of but has scarce believed. You bring en
chanting, elevating thought; v/hy, you fill
with Joy the whole horizon of the world.
Until I met you I did not live?I slept.
But now I am awake. Yet I love
you, you see, and would like to whisper
It In your little ear. But I would not dare.
All I would dare Is to fall at your feet so
looking up?mayhap you would be kind. I
might catch the murmur of your low voice,
Msten to lte music, and see love sliape him
self on your sweet lip. You saw It, did you
not, darling, the very first time? You know
that never before had I caught stght even
of love's fluttering garment. Why, it must
have been so plain to your deep heart. If
you doubted *t, It would have been calumny
?not to me, but to yourself, your loveli
ness. You knew from that hour that all
else, all else, all others?do you hear??
were chaff borne on the winds, froth lashed
away to nothingness on the first breaker
of a fathomless sea."
Bertha Detracourt Le Moyamenslng stood
motionless, clasping and unclasping her
hands. In her whiteness she looked like a
vision from some other world. Only on her
face a strange glow was growing, growing
up from her mouth. Irradiating her low,
broad, moon-touched forehead.
"Jeff," she said, slowly,- calling him by
the dear diminutive she always gave to
him when he fell into one of his talking
spells, "If you mean business, cheese that
lingo and give me plain English; out If you
are just doing a.language stunt, ku2p mov
ing?you're hitting It up to beat the band."
At a Dinner Party.
From Plek-Me-Up.
\ Fair chatterer?"Well, If you don't, cars
for traveling, or flowers, or children, or
books, what are you fond otT'
Rude old man (emphatically)"Dinner.**
ONE 01^ pFjE'S TRAGEDIES
"How would you like to do ninety-nine
years. In a military, prison?" asked a for
mer non-commissioned officer of the army,
who Is now fh'e *TVaf Department rolls,
of a group of friends the other evening.
They repllfd that the temperature was
pretty high ,Jor faljks to he talking about
such hot stuft as
"Yes, ninety-nine years," said the ex-non
com.. reflectively. "That's a pretty fairish
bit of a wh?e fop,.a young fellow to face
on a miserable se\jen-acre rock like Alca
traz Island, irfsn't tt7"
They asked! hlm-;i(C It was a sea-gull that
had been condemned to that term of ser
vitude, and iie wont on more seriously:
"No. But there Is the way of It. About
eight years ago a young recruit came to
my battery. TYe were then stationed on
that aforesaid miserable Alcatraz rock,
where the military prison Is- This recruit
was a fine young chap from Kentucky.
He was of a good family and he had had a
good education. He drifted into the outfit
back east through a bit of wlldness. and
they sent him, a recruit, out to the Alca
traz battery to be hammered into shape. It
fell to me to drill him, and I took an in
terest In him. After he'd had a chance to
look around him and size up the service
he began to take an Interest in the game,
and he decided that he'd try for a com
mission. He had the head and the educa
tion to nail one, too, if he'd only listened to
the advice of us old chaw-bacons. But he
went wrong with the drink every once and
a while, and his chances were considerably
damaged. Nevertheless, he studied hard
for the commission, and the officers of the
battery, liking the lad, overlooked his oc
casional lapses and, at the end of a couple
of years, sent him along to take his pre
liminary examination for promotion from
the ranks to the shoulder-strap wearers.
"He passed the examination, difficult as
it was, hands down. But before he left the
post at which he took the examination, he
went off on a bat with some of the non
com's of the garrison, and that queered
him. His name was stricken from the roll
of successful candidates for final examina
tion at Fort Leavenworth, and he was
sent back to his battery on Alcatraz to
meditate upon his boyish imbecility in
throwing away the chance of a lifetime
for a little liquor. The boy was a heap
broken up over the hash he had made of It,
naturally enough, but when he came to a
full realization of it he went bravely to
| work and straightened out and got ready
to stand for the examination the following
year. He kept straight the entire year,
and the officers overlooked his previous
break and he went up again for examina
tion. He could have passed the mental ex
amination again without any trouble, but
a very slight visual defect that had de
veloped during the year knocked his
chances, and he was turned down in the
physical examination given him by the sur
geon. He was discharged from the ser
vice. He came back to Alcatraz to pack
his things. I never saw a young man in a
more stunned state of mind. He had had a
commission right within his mitt twice,
and both times it had gat away from him.
He went to work In San Francisco, and I
saw him once in a while.
"The last time I saw him he was embark
ing on board a transport at San Francisco,
bound for the Philippines. He had enlisted
in a regular army outtit under an assumed
name, after having successfully passed the
| examination at the surgeon's hands, eyes
and all?but It was another surgeon of
course?and he was In -or some hard sol
diering. He was one of the sort that loved
soldiering, and ha'fcouldn't keep away from
it, even If he .had) to enlist fraudulently. I
had a chat j^ith tylm on the transport, and
he pointed to the bleak old Alcatraz rock,
lying In the' sunlight of the harbor.
" 'Well, tHank (Jod, anyhow,' he said to
me, 'that I'm not going to soldier there any
more. Say,'rt he vyent on, impulsively, 'I
used to feel 'so sqrry for the poor devils of
prisoners thtre trat I often felt like help
ing the batohes I was on guard over to get
away. It's bad enough soldiering on Alca
traz, but it tnust be fierce to be a prisoner
on the gloomy old boulder. None of it for
me, thanks.'o >
"That, I say, Is: the last I ever saw of
this athletic, fresh-skinned, clipper-built
young fella*b-whadoved soldiering Just for
the sake qf .soldiering, and who aspired to
a commission that would surely have been
his had he V>ossesded a bit of self-control
on one occasion Wnd a soupcon of luck' on
another -f- .ii
"The yom^g fellow's outfit was sent to
one of the remote Philippines. The men
went off dn a pay-day toot about a year
ago, my former young swaddle from Ken
tucky with them. While loaded up with
the horrible intoxicants of that neck of
the world the young fellow had an alterca
tion with one of his comrades, and in a mo
mentary flash of passion, helped on by his
condition, he pulled a knife and killed him.
Still dazed with drink, and desperate over
a fear of the consequences of this rum
caused crime, he could think of nothing
else to do but to desert to the enemy.
"He deserted to the enemy. - They got
him In a reund-up of Filipino prisoners a
few months later, and he was recognized.
He was tried for the murder of his pal and
for deserting to the enemy and condemned
to be shot. His sentence was commuted to
Imprisonment for ninety-nine yeans on Al
catraz Island, and he's out there on the
rock. In a coarse suit of woolly gray, today,
I often get to thinking of the boy In the
middle of the night, when I'm restless and
can't sleep. I can't help but believe that
the pity he felt in his heart, and expressed
to me, when he was clothed In his clear
I mind, for the prisoners he guarded as a
soldier on Alcatraz, will somehow or an
other make It easier for him, now that he'?
chained to the rock himself."
Mom Valuable Tlian Wheat.
From the St. Louis Star.
Reports from all apple-growing sections
indicate almost an abnormal crop of the
fruit this season. Possibly a small number
of the people of the United States know
what this means?they do not realize that
even in an average year the money value
of the apple crop exceeds that of the wheat
output. An Illinois statistician treats of
the matter in this manner. He says in 1900
the apple crop was 215,000,000 barrels, or
538,000,000 bushels, which, at a price of,
say, $2 per barrel, would net $430,000,000,
or nearly $125,000,000 more than the value
of wheat. For years our apples have been
steadily making their way into foreign
markets, until today over four million bar
rels are sent abroad each year, and it Is
certain that the showing made at the Paris
exposition last year will vastly Increase
the foreign demand this year. American
apples have a fixed value from Liverpool
to St. Petersburg, and last year our ship
pers to foreign ports experienced consid
erable difficultjr In supplying the demand.
It Is gratifying to know that reports, up to
this time, place Missouri's prospects of a
crop in the most favorable light, and if
the outlook shall only materialize favor
ably, the apple growers of the state can
I wear diamonds next winter.
It is only within the past few years that
Missourlans have taken up the apple indus
try in a practical manner, and the result is
already beginning to show, not only in the
Increased output, but in the Improved qual
ity of the fruit. It is unnecessary to say
that the oMAarAflemands the most careful
attention, ff. cannot be allowed to trust to
luck?on the spiyfrary, every particular tree
must have care^muat be cultivated, water
ed and sprk^ed/"J)o not drive away the
birds?on ttte contrary, encourage them to
help them^yea-irhowever much they may
take, they .will mpre than make good the
loss In the aqiount of fruit they save from
I destruction/by tftfk insects.
h iff
Political .forties la France.
I From tbe International Monthly.
In France ib^fJartiea have no programs
in a strict sense; no precise formula that
defines the!i> p#M^!cs and their demands.
They have *etttifc^rtfs, passions, if you pre
fer it so, aAfr'gea^ral tendencies which suf
fice to clftrifelfy the politicians and those
who elect" the<h.rf 'Politics in France is
purely an "affailrfrde sentiment;" the elec
I tor votes for the candidate whose political
I feelings approach most nearly to his own;
he Is guided by the sympathies and an
tipathies manifested by the candidates, and
by the personal relations which they en
I tertain toward the people of one or the
other party In each locality. This criterion
allows the French countrymen to know the
representative of their personal sentiments
In so sure a way that they can rarely be
deceived. The elector, when he sees a can
didate arrive whose opinions are not clearly
known to "him; does not stop1 at the party
appellation that the unknown parades, but
he Observes what people patronize him,
and what company he keeps; and the eleo
tor soon knows to which side he belongs.
French politics are directed not by par
ties, but by tendencies, and those who de
sire to understand them must give heed,
not to the prograaaa of the candidates, but
to the sentiments of the electoral masses.
THE CAUSE OF THE DELAY
Wednesday morning last the MonthofCs
lccked all the windows and doors of their
cute little home out near the end of one of
the trolley Jines. They were off for the
seaside, and figured on the 11 o'clock train.
The Newfoundland pup wagged his tall
Joyously as Monthoff tried all the doors.
Perhaps the Newfoundland pup thought
that he, too, was bound for the seaside.
But he wasn't. The Monthoffs were to
stop by the houso of a colored man who,
for the sum of $5 in advance, was to take
care of the Newfoundland pup during their
absence. Then, minus the pup, the Mont
hoffs were to board another car, and go
down to the station for the 11 o'clock
train.
It all looked so easy.
The Newfoundland pup trotted along af
ter them, chasing a butterfly here and
there as they walked toward the trolley
car. Both Mr. and Mrs. Monthoff regard
ed the Newfoundland pup somewhat wist
fully. Parting is such sweet, etc., etc.
They couldn't bear the Idea of leaving
Roly Poly behind, but they knew that
they couldn't break into a seaside hotel
with a youthful dog whose greatest de
light was to waddle around in muddy
pools and then to place his paws affec
tionately on the rich foulard dresses of la
dies to whom he was a perfect stranger.
And so they had to make the arrangement
with the colored man to take care of Roly
Poly while they were away.
They waited quite a while for the trol
ley car to reach them.- As the car bore
down upon them, without giving any sign
that it was going to hesitate, they ob
served that the motorman was pointing
sternly at the Newfoundland pup and
shaking his head. The car whizzed right
by
"I wonder don't they let dogs ride on
these cars?" Inquired Monthoff, glancing
at his watch.
"Why, yes; Mr3. Teentsey often takes her
Cutey back and forth on the line," replied
Mrs. Monthoff, not Vithout a trace of an
noyance in her tone.
"Um?ye-es," said Monthoff, doubtfully,
"but you forget that Mrs. Teentsey's mutt
is a shivering little bit of a toy terrier that
weighs about as much as the aigrette on
your hat, and that she hides him In the
folds of her handkerchief, or In ono of her
ears while she's on the cars."
"Well, I just don't care one alt," said
Mrs. Monthoff. growing more disturbed, "a
dog's a dog, ain't it?"
"But the next time," he growled. "1 am
idiot enough to make myself a bond slave
to a dog you'll know it, that's all!"
Mrs. Monthoff reproachfully asked him
if he wasn't ashamed of himself to speaK
in such a bitter tone of the pojr little thing
that was about to be deserte.l ? "Little
thing!" growled Monthoff, under h's breath,
"if he doesn't weigh four tons I'll eat my
hat!"?and said that if he was going to be
so cross about it she had a great mind
not to go to the seaside at all.
The next two cars pulled up for the
Monthoffs, but neither of the conductors
was to be persuaded to *et the dog ride.
"All right," groaned Monthoff, after the
parley with the second conductor, "we've
missed the 11 o'clock tra.n, anyhow, and'll
have to wait for the one that goes at 1,
but we've got to get this miserable brutd
Into town somehow or another or Abandon
our summer vacation. Little Roly Poly'll
Just have to toddle along after the car,
that's all."
He almost pushed the protesting Mrs.
Monthoff on board the car.
"The poor little thing's so fat that he
can't run more than a block!" Mrs. Mon
thoff was saying to him as he pushed
onto the car.
"I can't help that," muttered Monthoff,
ferociously. "The poor little thing's not
going to chisel me out of my month's leave
if I know myself. He's got to run."
He clambered on board the car, and away
It went. Roly Poly gazed reproachfully at
the retreating car for a moment, and then,
to the vast delight of the Monthoffs, he
took It into his head to chase the car. They
both stood on the rear platform and en
couraged him, and Roly Poly did well for
all of fifty or sixty feet. Then he lay down
panting in the middle of the car track, and
attended to a flea that was doing business
on the left side of his neck.
"Stop the car!" almost shrieked Mrs.
Monthoff at the conductor, and when the
car came to a standstill she very deter
minedly climbed down, saying to Monthoff
that if he was a selfish enough brute to go
off and leave a poor little abused dear die
like a dog in the road, then she wasn't
that kind, and he could go away and leave
them both If he chose. Monthoff followed
her off the car, and it went on its way.
Then they walked a mile and a half to
the nearest drug store and Monthoff tele
phoned for a cab. The cab reached the
drug store along toward 3 o'clock. The
cabby charged Monthoff $0 for taking the
outfit of three to the home of the colored
man who was to assume charge of Roly
Poly, and then to hike the Monthoffs to
the station. The heavy charge was for
time expended, for the colored man wasn't
at home, and the Monthoffs had to sit down
In his shack with Roly Poly and wait an
hour and a half for his return. They
caught the 7:30 train for their seaside re
sort. They hadn't had a mouthful to eat
since breakfast, and were wilted and be
draggled.
| If the colored care-taker of Roly Poly re
ceives secret Instructions -to poison the
Newfoundland during the Monthoffs' ab
sence the friends of Monthoff who are
acquainted with this story will not be sur
prised.
Lake Superior Ore Dock*.
From the Engineering Magazine.
When the only method of transporting ore
from the mines to the docks was by means
of wagons, four or five miles was about as
far as It was practicable to bring the ore.
Now It Is transported over a hundred miles
from the Minnesota mines to the lake ports.
When these great ore trains arrive at the
port they are run out on the dock and the
ore dropped out through the bottom of the
car Into the pockets of the ore docks,
whence It Is afterward let out through
chutes Into the vessels. These docks have
been constructed at an immense expense,
and with these, as well as with the other
labor-saving devices, every improvement
possible has been made to save running ex
pense. It Is said that these docks have an |
aggregate length of over five miles and a
storage capacity of 0G0.000 tons, one single
dock being 2,300 feet long, with a capacity
of 57,600 tons.
With the present dock equipment a vessel
of 5,000 to 8,0U0 tons can be loaded in three
or four hours. It 1b no uncommon occur
rence to load a boat of 2.000 tons of ore In
one and a half hours. The dock at Duluth
cost $425,000. Fifty years ago the ore was
dumped from the wagon upon plies along
the wharf. When a vessel came in to load
an army of men were put to work shovel
ing the ore Into wheelbarrows, wheeling It
along plank runs out onto the vessel, and
dumping It Into the hold. It then required
twenty men working ten hours per day ten
days to load a vessel of 1,000 tons, at a cost
of 40 cents per ton. Now a vessel five
times as large can be loaded In two or
three hours, at so small a cost that It is
hardly worth considering.
England'' Scottish Gardeners.
From the London Chronicle.
To a Scotsman a Scotsman succeeds as
head gardener to the king at Sandrlngham.
Mr. Archibald McKellar, who has held the
position for many years, has been promoted
to Windsor Castle, and his place at his
majesty's Norfolk establishment has been
Mied by a fellow countryman, Mr. T. H.
Cooke. Mr. McKellar belongs to Llchgllp
head. In Argyllshire and before coming to
Sandrlngham he had charge of the beauti
ful gardens of Floors Castle, the seat of
the Duke of Roxburgh. The gardens at
Sandrlngham are not very extensive, but
they are charmingly laid out The garden
at Windsor Is historically more Interesting,
for It was there In a "gardyn falre" that
James I of Scotland, although a prisoner,
wooed and won his bride, Lady Jane Beau
fort.
In the Museum.
From the Baltimore American.
"The legless man Is always putting his
foot in It," observed the living skeleton to
the snake charmer.
"What has he done nowT"
"Last night we were having & friendly
little game, and he asked the armless won
der to take a hand."
?
Unchristian Conduct.
From the Chicago Becord-Herald.
"My wife said she'd give me half a dollar
if I would go to church with her."
"Weill"
"When we got Into church she borrowed
the half dollar from mo and put it in the
contribution box."
IN GIDDY GOTHAM
Some Reoent Jokes at the Expense of
the Polioe,
A f AM HAN WHO IAS CONVICTED
Detectives Missed a Chance to
Make a Tidy Sum.
ADMIRAL SCHLEY'S DOUBLE
Special Correspondence of The Evening Star.
NEW YORK, August 0. 190L
A most pathetic Incident occurred In a
criminal court here the other day. A jury
convicted a policeman of having squeezed
a woman for quite a tidy little "protection"
bribe?a matter of $550. The policeman
was a "ward man." The "ward man" of a
New York police precinct?there's one of
them in each precinct?is the plain clothes
boy who circulates about and ascertains
what's doing. That is to say. he collects.
He is the non-othcial sandbagger of his
precinct, as it were. He is elected to his
job by his precinct captain on account of
his proven acuteness in learning all that
is going on in the precinct in the way of
violations of the law, as well as on account
of his persuasive, purring manner of in
ducing the law violators to execute that
little financial performance known to New
York cops as "coming to the front."
The "ward man" is only persuasive and
purring as long as the "protected" folks
look pleasant while they are searching their
apparel for the price of "protection." When
the screened ones dem>ir over the costliness
of their screening the "ward man" is trans
formed into a stern reformer whose one
and only aim is to assist in conserving the
moral pulchritude of the community. His
method of conserving is to "tip off" his
captain that So-.md-So is "beefin' about
givin' up," and to swoop upon the demurrer
with a hurry wagon filled with cops, thus
putting out of business the kicker over the
price of "protection."
A Lucrative Position.
One of the New York "ward men" has
held down his quiet little billet for a mat
ter of twenty years. In all that time he
has worn no blue clothing of any nature
whatsoever. In the ordinary course of pro
motion by seniority this chap would have
been high on the list of police captains by
this time, for he has been attached to the
department for a quarter of a century.
However, he does not want to be a captain.
In fact, he would probably reject a police
commissionership tomorrow, if it were of
fered to him. Men who know what they
are talking about say that the precinct of
which he is "ward man" is "worth" at
least $.>>0,000 per annum.
But the chap who was, to the astonish
ment of every one, convicted the other day
of having screwed this sum of *550 was
actually the first tried "ward man" who
was ever convicted in a New York court of
"sandbagging."
However, his conviction alone does not
afford the moving pathos of this story. It
was the preparations which his friends, on
and off the police force, had made to "give
him a good time" upon his release that
made it so very sad. For his friends re
garded it as a foregone conclusion that he
was going to be acquitted. It was with
difllculty that they restrained their merri
ment throughout the progress of the trial,
even when the most convincing evidence
was being given against the "ward man."
Their efforts to restrain their glee when
the judge was charging the Jury told upon
them so severely that they just had to find
an outlet for their exuberance by winking
sagely and shrewdly at each other. And
when the Jury came right back and de
clared the "ward man" to be guilty, thus
putting him in the way of getting as many
a? years ,n c<>arse, unbecoming striped
clothing, the way the friends of that "ward
man did gape was assuredly sad to seel
When He Wm "Vindicated." .
They had made preparations to give him
a banquet on the boulevard that evening
at a cost of |25 per plate. The viands were
already sizzling on the ranges and the
wines were cooling in the refrigerators at
the very moment that that brutal, inhuman
jury walked back into the court room and
declared the bribe taker to be guilty. And
the "ward man's" friends had all chipped
in to make up $1,500 wherewith to pur
chase him a diamond badge, with his name
in brilliants at the top thereof, and the
beautiful word "Vindicated" in large car
bons beneath the shield.
Orators had already composed the
speeches of confidence and affection which
they had been selected to bestow upon him
at the banquet, and one of the biggest
flower shops on Broadway had been vir
tually looted to provide white roses and
lilies (this is no jest?white roses and lilies)
wherewith to decorate the banquet tables.
Surprise and Sorrow.
Small wonder, then, that?even if all eyes
in the court room were quite free from
molsture-^the friends of the convicted
"ward man" were stunned speechless.
Guilty! Why, the Idea!
Yes, It was very, very sad Indeed when
the hateful, astounding news was received
at the boulevard banquet hall, and the mu
sicians were dismissed. No man in that
throng at the tables?so joyous but a few
short minutes before?had the heart to par
take of the $25-per-plate array of food.
However, they made a brave effort to over
come their crushed feelings and disposed of
the wine down to the last bead thereof.
When the huge, red-mustached cop who
had been assigned to take the tickets at
the banquet hall door heard the news he
voiced the general feeling of all present at
the tables by gloomily remarking:
"De old town won't do no more. She's
gettin't* be on de Fritz?on de Fritz."
A Detective's Sense of Humor.
Every once In awhile some New York
detective or other gets under the limelight
by the exhibition of a real, sure-enough
sense of humor, and when these things
happen they are worth recording. A sar
donio sleuth perpetrated a hilarious joke
upon a criminal lady only last week.
This lady has long been known in police
annals as "Squarehead Jennie," the
"Squarehead" being a somewhat unkind
allusion to her -Scandinavian nativity,
Scandinavians being known at this end of
the line as "Squareheads," just as Italians
are collectively called "Dagoes" or "Gin
neys."
"Squarehead Jennie's" particular fad, for
quite a long number of years back?and
she is now only twenty-eight, and pretty
has been to fold the peripatetic drunken
man. wabbling with difficulty along the
street. In an affectionate embrace, and
while the befuddled male person was in
the very act of congratulating himself up
on his surprising and overwhelming con
quest to rapidly go through his clothing
for his valuables.
One evening about ten days ago "Square
head Jennie," over on 8th avenue, and in
the full glare of several arc lights, grab
bed and embraced a visiting Memphis buy
er to such excellent purpose that when
she playfully patted him on the shoulder
and told him that she had made a mistake
she was some |2,400 better off, in Jewelry
and lucre, than she had been but a few
brief moments before.
Wanted to Be Playful.
A new detective at headquarters was as
signed to the Job of going after "Square
head Jennie" and gathering her in.
He did not take the warrant for Jane
straight to her abode and thus corral her.
No. He desired to be a bit playful at Jane's
expense.
So he walked along 8th avenue, "Square
head Jennie's" well-known stamping
ground, and waited for her to appear.
When he saw her coming down the street,
he proceeded to simulate exceeding great
drunkenness. He permitted himself to
wabble all over the thoroughfare.
This looked altogether too good to Jane,
and she proceeded to wrap her strong arms
around the kittenish sleuth and to deftly
plough through his garments.
"Oh, you rude thing!" exclaimed the fun-!
py detective, as Jane snatched his nice big
black wallet out of his Inside cost pocket
and started around the corner at a mild'
lope.
'"The warrant for her arrest's In that
wallet, and wait*11 She sees It, hv ha,"
laughed the detective as he galloped after
hrr.
"Squarehead Jennie," r.ot knowing thnt
s?he was pursued l>y the new detective
whom she had "fanned for hi* roll," pulled
up after covering about two block* and
stepped into '* doorway to have a Iook <it
the contents of the wallet.
First she pulled out $45 In tens and fives,
and this she quickly stowed in her bosom.
Then she pulled out the warrant for her
arrest, and held It up so that she could
read it. As soon as she caught sight of
her name she was aware of the mijt.ike
she had made, and she turned like a tigress
to see the humorous detective right behind
her, and holding his sides with laughter.
"Ha! ha! ho! ho!" shrieked the detective.
With Dlsfrt'Nnliiff Hennltft.
Jane, apprehending that the bills In the
wallet had been previously marked for
Identification, calmly removed them from
tho bosom of her dress, stuffed them Into
her mouth and ate them. Then she tore the
warrant into fragments. Then she made a
jump for the detective and proceeded to
make him wish that he had not beon born
with such a comic nature. She clawed his
countenance until It looked like an abused
cranberry pie. pulled out his nice greased
locks by the fist-full, ripped his new suit of
mufti into ribbons, placed a knee In th<?
small of his back and almost broke him In
two, and then took to her high French
heels. Four cops of the reserves went
after her about an hour later, and sho
went along with them quietly. She told
them that she'd have gone along with
the new detective if he hadn't endeavor >d
to mortify her by becoming giddy at h? r
expense.
The funny detective, $45 in bills to the
bad. a destroyed suit of clothing, and his
facial beauty obliterated for several weeks
to come, was greeted with ribald laughter
when he reported at headquarters. If he
gets humorous again during his Incum
bency as a headquarters detective It will
be when he is in a somnambulistic state.
A Lout Opportunity.
Two other headquarters detectives?not
tyros, these, but experienced men?under
went a most sorrowful experience en
Thursday afternoon lust
They were sent out on Thursday morning
to gather Into the fold a cheerful young
man. a follower of the races, who had
hypothecated some $2,000 worth of a
friend's silverware. The youth had been
left in charge of his friend's New York
house during the latter's absence at one of
the beaches. As he needed some ready
money quite badly, what more natural than
that he should temporarily avail himself
of the three-ball value of the hojsehold
silverware? The friend, upon his return,
however, was so deficient in gratitude as
to decline to see the matter from this point
of view, and he complained to the police.
The two headquarters detectives found
their young man. as they anticipated, at
the ferry that plows the waters of the East
river in the direction of the train for the
race?.
"How annoying!" exclaimed the young
man of the silverware transaction, when
the sleuths explained their business. "I've
got a good thing at the track today, and I
Intend to bet $.">??<> on It."
"Yours," remarked the pair of detectives
In chorus, "is a grievous story. However,
come along."
"Say," put In the young man. confiden
tially, "can't you two?you look like the.
right kind of people?delay the serving of
this warrant until I take a hack at this
good thing. It's Locket, one of Bill Daly's
two-year-olds, and he's going to win walk
ing at 30 or 40 to 1. Got it straight from
the old man himself. Come along with me
to a couple of pool rooms until I get the
money down?I've got $500 to play on the
thin??and It's the both of you to make
the divvy with me when I cash. How
about it?"
The Good Thing Won.
Now, it wouldn't have been a hard thing
to do. Queerer things than the same have
often occurred In the detective annals of
New York. But these two detectives
weren't exactly in the proper humor, and
so, despite the pleadings of their prisoner,
they declined to take in with him the
couple of pool rooms that he so badly de
sired to visit to play his good thing. They
hustled him to headquarters and locked
him up.
And Locket, the good thing, won gallop
ing at GO to 1?and sixty times $500?which
the locked-up youth really possessed?is a
fair little sum of money to be divided
among three persons who understand some
thing of the art of spending money.
Ever since the r.ews. was flashed over
the ticker?and the two flptoctlyes were at
the ticker when the news was flashed?
that their little man's Ofr t?r-l shot had
walked in, the pair of sleuths have been
walking around -vith a dazed expression
which evokes great and protracted out
bursts of Joy from their fellow gum-shoe
performers at headquarters who are fa
miliar with the story*
Admiral Schley's Doahle.
Admiral Schley's double was down at
Coney iBland the other afternoon. He Is a
gentleman In the Insurance business, and
lives In the old West Side district of New
York. His resemblance to the admiral Is
extraordinary, both in figure and feature,
as well as in hirsute peculiarities. He
went down to Coney Island alons on the
boat a few afternoons ago to dodge the
heat of the city, and he had a difficult
time of It. as. Indeed, he has had ever
since the battle of Santiago, owing to his
startling resemblance to Admiral Schley.
He was pointed out on the boat by all
hands fore and aft. and dozens of men
walked up to him and solicited the honor
of shaking him t?y the hand. He laugh
ingly but courteously disclaimed any rela
tionship to the admiral, but they attrib
uted his disclaimer to his desire to escape
attention.
No sooner had hs stepped ashore at
Coney Island than he was surrounded by
a big crowd of men, women and children,
who piled after him and began to cheer.
He dodged Into all sorts of places, such as
tintype and shooting galleries and fortune
telling booths, to give the crowd that was
following him a chance to dissolve, but It
was no go. and whenever he stepped forth
he was surrounded by a mob of folks eager
to do him honor. . In vain he protested that
tho crowd was mistaken. They wouldn't
believe him.
The unfortunate Insurance man was
finally compelled to back up against the
front of a hotel and to make a little speech
of mild protest to the crowd. He told them
that, much as he'd like to be Schley, he
wasn't, and that's all there was about it.
and that he hoped they'd be good enough
to let him go his way in comfort.
He finally got the crowd to believe him,
but a lot of them yelled at him:
"Well, you look enough like Schley to be
him all right, all right." C. L. C.
Vegetarian Diet for the Masses.
From the British Medical Journal.
Baelz gives the lesults of observations he
has made on the Japanese, among whom
the lower classes are almost entirely vege
tarians. They are so, not from choice or
from principle, however, but from neces
sity, since whenever they are able they
buy a little meat or fish, and regard It as
a great lu*ry. Their main article of diet
is not rice, as usually supposed, because
this is too expensive, and is used mainly
by the well-to-do, but barley and buck
wheat and the soya bean, which contains
twice as much albumin as the best beef,
and costs one.-quarter as much, while In
addition it contains 20 per cent of fat.
The fallacy of Volt's dictum that 120 grams
of albumen daily are necessary for an adult
Is shown, for, as evidenced by the habits
of the Japanese for generations, it Is 20 to
30 per cent too high, while It Is demon
strated that a race may live on an almost
exclusively vegetable diet and yet be ca
pable of vigorous and protracted labor.
The prevailing type of metabolism Investi
gation, In which purely arithmetical re
sults of analysis of the Income and outgo
are made, is unreliable and does not give
a true idea of the values of diets, etc.. for
different conditions may produce almost
identical results In figures. The disposi
tion of the Individual and, therefore, his
oapacity for work may vary widely, and
therefore the author proposes a new meth
od of conducting such experiments, which
shall Include a study of thia factor, and
suggests the designation of "capacity bal
ance" for Its results. /
"Tour services are no longer required!"
the great metropolitan editor to the
reporter who had written up a sensational
elopement.
"WhyT" was the startled question.
"Because you wrote up the elopement of
the waitress and the janitor without call
ing one a society favorite and the other a
man of leisure and a well-known club man.
Duuli *i ?i inssiifss for opportunities must
be punished.' '?Boston Transcript.