Evening star. [volume], August 17, 1901, Page 14, Image 14

About Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972

Image provided by: Library of Congress, Washington, DC

                
[things
~ heard
""'SEEN
A good deal of valuable Information Is
being collected In the government depart
ments h^re In relation to the care of large
palms outside of hothouses, in which arti
ficial conditions for their growth can be
made practically perfect. Several years^ago
a large number of these palms were taken
from the Botanic Garden a*d placed In the
court of the pension office building- L<at
a big palm was housed In the hall at the
F street entrance of the patent office, and
still later a dozen fine samples of the palm
fairily were placed around the top of the
iron and glass roof which covers the first
floor of the city post office building. The
Idea v\ as conceived that if this tropical
growth could be made to flourish in public
buildings a fine ornamental feature would
bo added to them. It was regarded as
doubtful whether this experiment would be
attended with success, the good resu}ts
which have been attained having quite
equaled the expectation o "hose who have
devoted their attention to the work. The
effect of draft on palms has been shown in
the patent office, where a solitary Pj?"j
was lately yellowed after a few ^mths of
uncertain existence there. The imposfllDU
Ity of keeping the court of the pension!> -
flea building at an even tPmPeI^t^l^uJw1
the winter months has rnadelt difflcjalt to
g*t the best results, though the plants
about the big fountain flourish fa,rl> .^L
The (iillrrtlon In th. city
Inn is now suffering from dust from the
several galleries that falls upon the *pread
Ing leaves. and work is now under way for
making the glass roof waterpnx>f so that
the plants may be Eprlnkled with a gar
den hose and so kept clean What is be ing
decided bv this culture of palms In tne
nublic b?1 Hd 1 ngs will determine what care
necessary to make such varieties flour
ish when they have not the moisture and
equable temperature which is
In a hothouse. After a while some one
will be able to make a collection of the
Tuocesses and failures that have attended
these" experiments, so that householders
mav be benefited by them and perhaps all
the public buildings can be beautified wU
a luxuriant growth of tropical green.
***** , * .
l*p on Pennsylvania avenue. Just in front
of the northeastern gate that opens to the
north grounds of the White House, the
other day a crowd of men and boys were
collected and there was every evidence that
a fight or something unusually lively had
taken place. Very soon a policeman hastened
from across Lafayette Square and brusque
lv asked the trouble. "WtM. dls nigger
livar gits right in my way and wont gib
me de right ob way." said the driver of a
dump cart, which was standing there. Fur
ther inquiry revealed the fact that a negro
driving an ash cart had come east on the
south side of the avenue, while a street
sweeper was going west on the same side
of the street. Neither would get out of
the wav for the other and there they both
stopped, ibstlnately waiting for one or the
Other to give in. Their discussion of the
Question which had the right of way led
to hot W .rds. and finally they were both
using strong and threatening language to
each oth r. Somebody went for an officer
who was disgusted when he took In the
situation. "Get on bv here, he said to
the street sweeper, "and do It fast.
ai.-ng here or I'll pull you. he said to
the driver of the ash cart, and the crowd
of people passed aw \y as if they had reall>
found satisfaction in witnessing such a
petty quarrel. ^ ^ ^ ^
C O. U Cooper, private secretary to
Attorney General Knor, has had a long
and varied experience as a shorthand re
porter of legal hearings, speeches, etc.. and
is ranked as one cf the best men in that
business in the country. He has reported
legal arguments of hundreds of prominent
men. among them Mr. Choate. the present
ambassador of the I'nltcd States to Eng
land. Mr. Cooper was talking the other
day about the many changes made by men
in th^lr speeches after delivery. 1 report
ed the argument of former Attorney Gen
eral Griggs in the insular cases before the
Supreme Court." said Mr. Cooper, "and 1
do not believe that Mr. Griggs changed
over one hundred words when he revised
the argument for publication. I never saw
j?o few changes in a speech In my Hie. Mr.
Crietrs talked to the court two hours one
day and about two hours another, so you
?ee th>it he spoke many thousands of
words Often in speech a man uses words
that he changes when the remarks are put
In urint. Sometimes the argument or
speech is so changed that it would not be
recognized by the body before which it was
delivered. Mr. Griggs, however, is a man
who has a splendid vocabulary and a great
command of the Kngllsh language. It Is
rare for him to make a change in the
words of in argument. In straight dicta
tion in the way of letters it Is seldom that
he thinks of a change."
*****
Occasionally is heard nowadajs an ex
pression of wonder as to where all the
bicycles go when they fall out of their
first use in favor of newer makes. They
are not of such stuff as to lead to the belief
that they disintegrate, as did the deaeon s
famous "shay." which went to atoms in an
instant, after rolling safely for one hun
dred years to a day. Bicycles are inde
structible things, whatever fastidious ana
unfortunate riders may think to the con
trary. Tires may be punctured, but the
?frame remains fairly stiff, and Is not to oe
disintegrated. Perhaps some place may c?
found where the skeletons of old machines
are thrown, a spoil pile of years.
may be returned to factories when too tar
gone, to be there given over to the rui -
naces and recast and forged ?
tubes and bearings and chains. But an ob
servant person In a large city will And ex
planation of part of the mystery w 'thou
reference to this possibility. In this citj.
especially, a spectacle may be seen almost
dally which will throw light on the ques
tion. If an Inquisitive person will look
closely In the neighborhood of some public
work, such as the digging of a sewer, the
laying of a new sidewalk or pavement, the
digging of a foundation, wherever, In fact,
common labor Is employed, he will notice a
great stack of bicycles, in all stages of ois
repalr and with strong evidences of age.
Sometimes as many as forty wheels are to
be thus found near the scene of a sidewalk
laying. They belong to the negro laborers,
who have picked them up here and there
for practically nothing?It is to be assumed,
of course, that they are honestly obtained?
and who find them of great service !n get
ting to and from their work. When the
whistle blows for knocking oft In the even
ing these men will be seen scurrying for
the wheel stack, and In a few moments the
streets will be alive in all directions with
men In dirt-stained clothes pedaling vigor
ously for home. They will ride often In the
worst of weathers, for they do not care
for the condition of the wheels or their
clothes, and by this means doubtless they
manage to save considerable In car fare,
while they add many minutes to each day
which can be devoted to rest or recreation.
The general use of the wheel by this class
has enabled many poor families to move
to a distance from the center of the city,
where rents are cheaper and conditions
more wholesome, so that the "wreck"
stands today as an economic agent of rare
sociological value. The bicycle may be
passing through the usual experience of
fads, which wax and wane, but it Is prob
ably permanently adopted as the poor
man's vehicle, as long as the supply of
cheap and abandoned machines lasts.
* * * * *
"Did It ever strike you," ask?d a naval
officer on duty at the department of a
Star reporter, "what a queer position Cap
tain Lemly will hold after the Schley court
of Inquiry convenes? You see, he is judge
advocate of that or?urt, and its findings
must come before him the second time In
his capacity as judge advocate general of
the navy. Thus he may often be called
upon to recommend something to himself.
"I can fancy right now," the officer con
tinued, walking jauntily along the cor
ridor, as Is his wont, and soliloquizing:
" 'Perhaps, Captain Lemly. judge advooate
of the Schley court of inquiry, it wouldn't
be a bad Idea for you to step into the of
fice of Captain Lemly, Judge advocate gen
eral of the navy, and make a few sugges
tions to that most worthy and estimable
officer." "
% * * * *
"Every time the troops of the District oi
Columbia National Guard go Into camp."
said an officer of the local brigade to a
Star reporter, "a certain class of persons
residing in the vicinity of the camp
grounds seem to think the presence of t he
sol dlers is sufficient excuse to warrant
them in submitting all manner of claims to
headquarters. For Instance, before the re
cent camp at Leesburg was three days old
a score of more or less indignant farmers
had called to see Gen. Harries and de
manded that they be paid for chickens,
pigs, tomatoes, corn and almost everything
connected with a farm susceptible of being
stolen or trampled upon. Although It was
well nigh impossible to prove that the al
leged damage had been wrought by District
National Guardsmen, every effort was
made to carefully investigate each com
plaint. Finally, the day prior to breaking
camp a board of officers, consisting of
Major Charles H. Ourand. the Inspector
general of the militia; Major R. D. Slmms
of the 5th Battalion, and Capt. Charles E.
Swigart. adjutant of the 2d Regiment, was
appointed to consider and pass upon all
claims.
"Those who appeared before the board
Included a woman, the wife of a farmer
who lived very close to the camp Inclosure.
Among other things she declared that men
In uniform had completely wrecked a tine
new gate?had actually torn it from^ its
hinges?directly in front of her house. The
board promised to visit the premises 'later
in the day.' view the wreck and make an
estimate of the amount of the damage.
"The complainant departed, but instead
of waiting, the officers followed close after
her From a convenient distance they
watched her proceed to a perfectly sound
gate, and with a hatchet, begin to demolish
it. When the destruction was well under
way the board appeared suddenly on the
scene. The discomfiture of the woman was
beyond adequate description.
"The board recommended that the claim
be disallowed," concluded the officer.
Give Everybody h Chance.
From the Womnu'a Home Companion.
Emerson's dictum that we should treat
every one as If he were all he ought to be
is an excellent rule to practice in dally life.
It is human nature to rise to the level that
Is expected of it. It Is not necessary to
waste time upon uncongenial people unless
you are bound to them by strong family
ties; but it Is Important that all with whom
you come In contact be studied with the
desire on your part to give credit for all
that is good in them, and that nothing In
their outward circumstances or appearance
be allowed to prejudice you against them.
"I've just left Mr. Brayne, and It's quite a relief to meet you. He Is so Intel
lectual, you knowl"?Punch.
ENDED UP A NEW WAY
They were lolling upon the sands. He
toyed with her parasol and looked up at
her Ianguishingly. She wrote Idle things
like "Fate" and "Kismet" and "Mizpah"
and stuff of that sort on the sand with
her forefinger, and gased out upon the
wine-dark sea with pensive, speculative
eyes.
He looked as If his name ought to be
Percy If It wasn't. He would have caused
you to think Involuntarily of the shrill pipe
of "Cash.'" from behind the 4-cent lac?
counter.
She was handsome, buxom, but over
dressed, and to your shrewd mind she
would have suggested the type of saucy
young woman often found acting In the ca
pacity of cashier In a steam laundry office.
"Such a boah. y'know, the seashoah,
don't you think?" said he, after a long
pause, as he retled the strings of his white
canvas shoes. "It's all vehy well for a
fellah to spend a week or so at the beach,
y'know, but afteh that?such an infernal
nuisance, don't you think, y'know?"
"That," she replied, as she dreamily
turned over the pages of the yellow-back
novel at her side, "is Just what ahntie was
saying this morning. Ahntie is really rip
ping! y addicted to the sea. you know, but
she so quickly wearies of things, and now
she Is talking of a couple of weeks at Tux
edo, and then a round of house parties.
Poor ahntiel Her enthusiasms are so brief!
Lahst year at this time we were at Trou
vllle. You have been at dear old Trou
vllle?"
'Ti a-as, often," he replied, retying the
other shoe lace. "No end of sport there,
j know. Jove, y'know, such ripping wo
men! But even Trouvllle gets to be such a
boah, y'see. Spent three months ovah
theah in summer of '03?laid up with a
broken leg I got playing polo, y'see?and I
couldn t get away. Egad! but it became a
boah! Evehybody go-t to looking just alike
to me, y know, and, bah Jove, even the
things on the table tasted just alike. The
trouble with those French places is a fellah
gets to drinking so much Scotch. Nothing
else to do. Got to do something. Bah
Jove, I really believe I was screwed. Just
ripping screwed, three pahts of the Ume in
Trouvllle, pon me honoh!"
nau&hty creature!" said She.
f.T out upon the amethystine sea.
fahncy such horridness. now!"
ln? wh^KerK Wat another lone pause, dur
hl n u w-whose name ought to have
^ wasn't stroked the few
hempen strands upon his upper lip with
much tenderness, while she turned over the
fs W ?>a^es of the novel to ascertain the
ingtcTreadl^ ^ start!
"Well,"' said he, breaking the silence "I
for?rne 3 the I!*?* old Pr?-6nim this yeah
in a? W n.now for a bit to drop
in at the clubs, o:t of yachting on the
scund perhaps?the beastly bulldah of mv
new sloop has at last got her ready, y'know
V?* "Jk 'cross the
to my shooting box in Scotland. Bagtred
some wonduhful grouse theah lahst j*ah
" 1 didn't! Aftuh that, couple
round the shires, y'know. visit
? coi,ntry Piaces of the chaps- of our
conHnA.fi n l,?, Jo,n the ex?dus to the
a fr ^h?friS1mev,? Gets to be
think?" aituh awhile, don't you
Ripping. replied the young woman
olaceTn dthWn the? pa*e to mark heI"
eun novel, lhat she hadn,t >et be
? n- , But you have your liberty, you
Dor S, ^sipaied creatures, while we
tf ^.Ve to do as we are told
thi VM 3 the mania again to do
? th,s wlntuh?such a nuisance.
c?m v. ?Pe i '^lle twice already, and
~ t je. doesn't seem to have had
enough of it. And I so dearly wanted to
^?i-r^ .? ha5>elle this wintuh! Dear old
.*?don t you think?" ,
Ya-as," said he; "Aix is all right. But
slow for a fellah, of course, but alf rtght *
Xhe"-",sh? went on- "rm wortally
the Hoi vTtlA i6 WlU be lon^lng to do
L? J Land again next spring?and that's
^.?7^7 ?* UB yulet- >'ou know, don't
th" tiLi ^ iU See' she ,s connected with
the TlddledywlnKs, and young Lord Tid
dledywinks is so very devout, you see. and
between them they have worked up quite
a crusading spirit, and, poor me! I al
ways have to go along?and the inns are
estine? d?Q 1 y?U think' ln Pal
baw-ole," he put ln. "By the
way I didn't know, y'know. that you were
kin to the Tlddledywinks. Captain Tiddle
dywlnks?second sop. y'know. of the Guards
ft,81" pa. of- m,nQ- Spent a summer
kinnintr^KnCe .n,_^orwajr' doing the fjords.
Ripping chap, Algie, too. Nothing reliidous
about him?haw-haw-haw! Saw him
a pick a guide up lhat summer and throw
him down an abyss into a stream. Guide
wasn't much hurt, but got a deuced wet
ting?haw-haw-haw!"
There was another considerable pause
during which he looked around discontent!
y a*" the strollers on the strand and
a *reat deal, while she scribbled
a ,?m* etc- on the sand.
.. B>' the way. Jie said, again breaking
the silence, 'whe-ah do we meet again
y know? Are you and your ahnt forthe
i ftSSSSK in lhe ?>??
she ^PHed, "ahntie dodged that
she hits such rigid ideas, y'know about
>lrth, has poor ahntie, and she cahn't brln?
herself to believe that the V'astorgllts are
not parvenu?s-poor ahntie, with her old
wor d notions! No. from here we go dir^t
the 1 ippy-Tapps at Larchmont snrh
uloui fnU^Mar^T,lppy-TaPP- w'th he^dic
thut i t ?- ? newly-disoovcred tree
you think3?"61" t0 the ^on(luer?r. don't
he"In?.n^ wrtf \Z*U her-rtpping.? said
ne. mink her father made it in starrh
or something, didn't he?" starch
"Or something.'' she replied. "Yes But
ahntie has given her her approval, and has
. t." mi Up' and l^ere we go from here
Such a blistering bother, I say'"
cot -emHnn h gre*} deal more of s'mllar
coruersation he made her his devoirs and
said that his man had all his traus Hacked
and .that he was to leave that evening
The> had only met a ci>uple of weeks be
SSlZVu' ??"?' Qu'w
?h" ihaes r,r ?the next
tiJeStu-hUhLiPr'>Sen.t Stas? ot this narra
!f belongs to the eminent domain
or truthfuliress, the risible-provokine n^r
sons who Indite the howling funny yarns
for a frivolous weekly illustrated preM
would go on to tell how the young womlV
fn VhPA ^lrI ?mPlo>'ed at ft) the week
in the office of a flour and feed merchant
had rushed Into one of the teemhig
st.?,res to buy 8 cents' worth of
binding braid and a spool of darning cot
L 2' at tlie counter where she
i 112 \? huJ the bra,d she suddenly
?gtn e ,t sheepish-looking sales
dUrinL *?aTr iM8r youth who had told her
during the lolllngs on the sand of his
En*Iand*8nn* tYle.hom^a ot the nobs of
Kng and, and of how he looked as If he
would have sold out for one square Inch of
disused cantaloupe rind, and of how she
gazed at him haughtily without In the least
recognizing him, and of how, his fellow
clerks getting next to the situation, gave
the salesman the hoarse hoot and the rau
cous raj-a-ma-taj, and suggested to him
that he go bag his top-piece, and of how
she swept imperiously out of the depart
ment store without ever looking behind
However, It didn't happen that way at
SI i?
In the autumn, the next time they met.
she was down the sound on the Popton
Woptons gorgeous steam yacht to see the
yacht races with her ahntie. and he. see
ing her on deck, had his own steam yacht
run alongside the Popton-Woptons' craft
and climbed aboard to see her and to make
high-toned goo-goo eyes at her.
^?r be wasn t any dry-goods salesman at
a little bit. He may have looked
.I'm . . wasn t. He was worth (*)<>,
000, and he was the real thing from the
word go. Nor was his name Percy Not
much. His name wjis Charlemagne J.iv
ngstone-Schuyler Vanderhoot. and his fam
ily had had the dough in huge hunks as
far back as the memory of the oldest ln
habltant extended. Charlemagne had
blood-lines at that, and his drawl was as
natural to him as smoking a cutty Dine
is to a 'longshoreman.
Neither was the girl a blufferlno. as may
be surmised She was seven thousand
geographical leagues from the typewriting
or cashier-in-a-steam-laundry class. Her
nr. me was Etheldreda Boadlcea Pell-Mell
Stephens-Stephens, and she was the or
phaned daughter of a family that lived on
the banks of the James river In Virginia
ln the days of Pocafaontas. She was heir
ess to $1.1,500.000, and her talk about her
ahntie wasn't any airy persiflage, for her
ahntie was and is a thoroughbred all or?r.
It Is not without a certain mournful feel
ing that the writer hereof pens the actual
situation in this affah*. thus shattering one
of the pet August gags of the funnylsts;
but he feels his responsibility and he can't
get away from a long-standing belief that
tacts are facts and not elf dissertations*
ONLY LIMBERING UP A BIT
The two Itiort, stocky men In the flappy
bathing suits seemed to become Involved
in a sudden altercation. They both Jumped
up from the sand <|nd began to talk loudly
and menacingly 4<j each other. A large
crowd of bathers, immediately collected
around them and Cheered them on.
The pair of short, stocky men shook
their fists in each other's faces and ac
cused each^other <p all sorts of things, and
then their rage appeared to become so
great that they abandoned words and re
sorted to-action.
The smal&r matt of the two deposited a
terrific kick on the protuberant stomach
of the other, and'followed this up with an
open hand smack on the top of the larger
man's bald head that could be heard above
the roar of the surge.
"Wow! but the little feller's eating him
up!" yelled the crowd of bathers, delight
edly.
However, the large man quickly re
covered from his obvious astonishment,
and went at his antagonist. He took him
by the shoulders and spun him around like (
a top, and every time the smaller man
faced him he slapped h!m on the Jaw with
his open hand in a cruel way. He followed
this up by deliberately kicking the smaller
on the bare shins with the toes of his
bathing sandals, until it seemed as if the
shins would be dented up like an aban
doned wash boiler.
"Kill him, babe!" shrieked the mob of
bathers, crowding around the two short,
stocky men In the Happy bathing suits and
apparently enjoying the scrap hugely.
The smaller man of the two rubbed him
self quite a lot after the onslaught of his
antagonist, but then he appeared to get
his second wind and he went at the larger
man with fierce energy. He punched him
with what looked to be ail his might right
on the point of the jaw with both hands.
Then he reached out suddenly and got the I
larger man's head under his left arm. j
Then, with his right thumb, he proceeded
to press the larger man's nose so hard that
it looked like a mere squash. After that
he belted the larger man square in the
mouth with his closed fist, and then re
leased him and jumped back, still talking
fiercely, as was the other one. j
The larger man then took another Inning.
He got a grape-vine clutch on the smaller !
man and threw him upon the sand. Then
he kneeled upon his chest, stiffened the
fore and middle fingers of his right hand, j
and deliberately began to gouge the eyes of
his prostrate victim with those stiffened
fingers. It was a hard, cruel sight, and
the crowd began to murmur. However, the
man on top didn't pay any attention to
their murmurlngs. He Jumped up, and
then he placed both of his sandaled feet
square upon. th? smaller man's face and
began to gouge his victim's countenance
with his sandal heels. Then he gave two
high leaps in the air and came down with
(apparently) all his might on his prostrate
victim's stomach.
At this point the crowd surrounding the
two began to bawl:
"Hey, cut that out! Pass it up! You're
killing the geezer!"
However, the smaller man quickly Jumped
to his feet, and took hold of the larger
man's hand, (ind they faced the crowd
grinning.
"Gentlemen," said the larger man of the
two, "it's all right. Don't you bother.
We're just practicing. We re the two Mac
Cacks, the great team of knockabout ar
tists, and we're playing this week at the
Teeny Weei}y Casino, down tho plank pa
rade. It's a hot show, and it only costs
two bits. ^Doors ;open at 2 and 8 p.m.
Come ont, came all."
Then the oelebrated pair of knockabout
comedians placed their hands upon their
bosuns, made <i*ep bows and strolled
arm-in-arm Jrom the beach.
Tlnw Sfntms of the World.
From the Literary Dlfc.'st.
In Germany what is called central Eu
ropean time'has been adopted since April
1, 185*3, and-Jt is also in use in Austria
Hungary, Bosnia, Servia, Italy, Switzer
land, Denmark, Sweden and Norway.
Western European time is used la Eng
land, Holland. Belgium. Luxembourg and
Spain. Fraffcte alone remains obstinate and
has kept Paris ?i$ne, which is -standard
also in Algeria and Tunis. Italy has offi
cially adopted the division of the day Into
twenty-four hours, numbered one to
twenty-four, beginning at midnight. This
same method has been used In Belgium
since May L, 181>7. for post offices; tele
graphs, railways and shipping. Bulgaria,
Roumanla and European Turkey have east
ern European time, while Russia has kept
St. Petersburg time, which is two hours,
one minute and thirteen seconds ahead of
that of Greenwich. North America and
Canada have four time-zones for railway
time: Eastern (five hours behind Green
wich), central (six hours), mountain (seven
hours) and Pacific (eight hours). In Can
ada these standards are official and the
hours are numbered from one to twenty
four. It is the same for the English West
Indies. In Cape Colony the standard time
for railways and telegraphs Is one hour
and a half ahead of Greenwich time. In
Japan the official time is exactly nine
hours ahead of Greenwich time. In Aus
tralia the standard times are: Western
Australia (eight hours ahead of Green
wich), south Australia (nine hours), Vic
toria, Queensland and Tasmania (ten
hours). For New Zealand the time is
eleven and a half hours ahead of Green
wich.
Aspiration as a Success Winner.
From Success.
There is always hope for a youth who
aspires, who has a divine hunger for
growth, a real affection for goodness, a
longing to be better and to do better; who
does right because he loves to, whose very
soul yearns for the atmosphere of the good,
the pure, and the true.
Somehow, everybody loves an aspiring
soul that looks up, that longs for the light,
that shuns darkness, that loves harmony
and purity, and shrinks from discord and
ugliness. Aspiration?the longing for the
good, the beautiful and the true?purifies
the mind, clarifies the faculties, sharpens
the intellect, and gives unity, purpose and
direction to the life. An asplrer does not
dissipate his energy as does a groveller.
His singleness of aim gives purity of pur
pose, and his transparency of character
adds power to life-energy,?to the faculties;
it gives confidence, and makes his success
easier.
A man who does not feel any need of
shiftiness and sneaking, but stands out
boldly In the light, fearing nothing but to
do wrong. Is the man who carries convic
tion and weight in a community.
It is astonishing how hard a wrong-doer
works to succeed,?the shifting to which
he resorts, to cover up his crookedness.
The excuses and apologies which he Is
compelled to make, to cover up his tracks
and conceal his real thoughts, are pitiable.
How unfortunate It is, if a youth does
not know, when he stands upon the thres
hold of actlyj? life, that absolute honesty
and transparency, ot character are the
quickest means of promotion; that integrity
is the shortest road to sucess.
V
A'Real Calamity.
From Life. i*
The Fathf*"?;"J'ou have rescued my
daughter frfpp drowning, sir. What shall
be your rewafd?"
The Strangar^-"-Den't mention it. I'll send
you a bill. 5 I'm * specialist frorn New
York." J "r
"Good heavtoslvJ'm ruined."
? ?
More Appropriate.
From tba Brool^rn
Mr. Beecro^jt?"ijtjis said that a withered
rubber plant was greatly benefited by Chris
tian Science.'^
The Cheerfsl Idiot?"Well, if one of my
palms was aillhg I should consult a
palmist." < t
His Way.
From Puck.
Friend?"Sa,y! Clarence, how does yo"
manage to shave a gennerman what's got
de St. Vitus' dancer*
? Barber?"Hoh! Dat's easy! I Jess holds
de razzah on his face an' lets him fiddle
his whiskers off to snlt hisself."
?
Jim?"Howeaty Is ther best policy, arter
all."
BUI?"How?"
"Remember that dog I stole?"
"Yep."
"Well. I tried two hull days to sell 'lm,
an' no one offered more'n a dollar. So X
went, like an honest mart, an' guv him to
th' ole lady what owned 'lm, an' she guv
me live dollars."-^New York Weeklj,
HE HAD HIS WAY AGAIN
?Don't you think," said Mrs. Jobson,
she was packing th? trunks down at the
beach on Friday night last for the return
to Washington after the si* weeks' vaca
tion, "that we'd better take a morning
train tomorrow so that we can get home
In time to "
"Nope," interrupted Mr. Jobson, who was
stretched out on a couch enjoying the
spectacle of Mrs. Jobson working at the
trunk packing, "I don't. Don't think any
thing of the sort. "We're going to take the
train at 5 o'clock tomorrow evening, as I
arranged. It seems to me that you are
almighty anxious to drag me away from a
place where I've had a little temporary
release from the strain of the tolling and
moiling to keep up my membership In the
building and loan association, anyhow.
Just makes you sad to see me enjoy myself
a little, doesn't it? Causes you to get rest
less and unhappy when you see that I'm
not laboring under the nerve-racking ten
sion of business, doesn't it? Begrudge me
a little bit of summer recreation, don't
you?"
"Have you finished?" said Mrs. Jobson,
with just a little acerbity. "1 only sug
gested that we take an earlier train for
the reason that it would be wise for us to
get Into Washington in time to do some
marketing for the Sunday meals. There's
not a solitary thing in the house to eat,
as you, of course, know as well as I do,
and if your breakfast on Sunday morning
isn't ready and on the table right on the
minute, Just as If you hadn't budgfnl away
from the house this year, you know that
you'll "
"Don't know any such a thing," cut In
Mr. Jobson. "There's a whole lot too much
taken for granted in your forecasts of these
things, Mrs. Jobson. If I was in the habit
of crossing bo many bridges before coming
to 'em as some folks I know. I'd have been
chasing imaginary bats and beetles in a
foolish house about 21H years ago."
, Mr. Jobson punched the couch pillows, lit
another cigar, and lay back the picture of
slothfulness, while Mrs. Jobson ransacked
the" bureau drawers to finish the packing.
"Well," she said, after a pause, "I'm
sure I don't know what In the world we're
going to do for something to eat on Sun
day. and for Ice, and for "
"Madam," said Mr. Jobson, rising up on
one elbow, "just you do things the way I
want them done once In a while, won't
you? I have fixed it in my mind that I de
sire to leave this place for Washington at
5 o'clock tomorrow evening. Will you do
me the favor to let it go at that? Will you
endeavor to let the fact percolate through
your intellect that I want to have one more
sea bath before I go back to the strenuous
life of toil in Washington? Did you ever
hear of anybody but an imbecile leaving a
summer resort at 4 or 5 o'clock on Satur
day morning, as you "
"I didn't say anything about such an un
earthly hour. I said "
" at 4 or 5 o'clock on Saturday morn
ing, as you distinctly said and repeated
three or four times over? Can't you man
age to forego some of this fussiness that
is becoming habitual with you lately?
Won't you "
"But," put In Mrs. jobson, expostulating
ly, "Isn't it plain to you that we shall have
to partake of food on Sunday, and that "
"Mrs. Jobson," he broke in. "nothing is
plain to me just now except that I desire
to forsake this pleasurable resort at 5 of
the dial tomorrow afternoon, as I have ar
ranged. Why do you find it absolutely
necessary to be perpetually harping upon
the carnal question of food?" and Mr.
Jobson, who had only dined about an hour
before, patted his stomach comfortably.
. "Or is the question of food, after all, the
only one that actuates you In your Journey
through life? How is it that, right here
within the moanful sound of the plaintive
sea." he went on, poetically, "your mind
yanks you back to the gross consideration
of questions of food? Why "
"But," Mrs. Jobson once more inter
rupted, "that Is my department, is it not?
And what in the wide, wide world are we to
do for sustenance on Sunday If you per
sist "
"Madam, the T.ord will provide," said
Mr. Jobson, solemnly. "Meanwhile, .1 de
cline to permit you to throw a shadow
over my enjoyment during the small re
mainder of my stay down here. There are
a whole lot of things in this planetary life,
Mrs. Jobson. besides breakfasts and din
ners and suppers. However, If you desire
me to enter into this totally unnecessary
apprehension of yours that you're going to
be starved on Sunday next, permit me to
suggest to you that there is a restaurant
or so in Washington, I believe."
"Yes," said Mrs. Jobson, "and I can see
you now getting up on Sunday morning
and putting on your clothes and going
down town to a restaurant to get your
break "
"It doesn't make any difference what
your powers as a clairvoyant enable you
to see now, Mrs. Jobson." said Mr. Jobson,
sternly, "the fact remains that we are to
prolong our stay at this place until 5
o'clock tomorrow afternoon, and that we
are not, as you so Inhumanly suggest,
going to get up at 2 or 3 o'clock tomorrow
morning to plough around for a milk train.
Just to satisfy your fears that you're go
ing to be wasted to a living skeleton on
Sunday for the want of food. I'm not
kicking about food for Sunday, am I? Not
much! You are speaking entirely for
yourself. If the commissariat problem
presents itself to me upon my arrival in
Washington, all right. I'll attend to it.
You don't look as If I've been starving
you to any great extent during the past
twenty years or so, so far as I can see."
It was after midnight when the Jobsons
got into Washington on Saturday night
last, or rather on Sunday morning. They
found the house close and stuffy and with
a strong fragrance of matting and varnish
permeating all of the rooms, and one of the
first things that Mr. Jobson did was to
walk unconsciously to the refrigerator in
the basement to look for a bit of a snack.
"B'Jing," he murmured, forgetfully, "but
I'm hungrier'n a grizzly after a hard win
ter up a tree, and "
However, he caught Mrs. Jobson's eye at
this point, and broke off suddenly. The re
frigerator, of course, was as bare as a
bone. Mr. Jobson was Just about to ask
Mrs. Jobson to make a pitcher of ice wa
ter, but he remembered in time why there
wasn't any Ice, and he passed up that re
quest. He was so hungry during the night
that he had a hard time to get any sleep.
He was dreaming about something to eat
when the sunlight began to stream into
the room on Sunday morning, and was
still half asleep when he muttered to Mrs.
Jobson:
"Breakfast ready?"
"Breakfast," said Mrs. Jobson, sitting up
in bed and beginning to plait her hair. "It
certainly is not ready. Surely you remem
ber that "
"Oh!" said Mr. Jobson, sleepily and
peevishly. He lay scowling for a while,
and then he got up, splashed around in the
tub for a while, and began to get his
clothes on.
"Uh-huh," he growled, as he adjusted
his necktie, "I knew that it 'ud be some
thing like this?that we'd be famished out,
and that I'd have to climb out of bed at a
barbarous hour in the morning to convoy
you about seventy-eight miles to a restau
rant to feed you?and the idea of people
with a home of their own scouring around
town on a midsummer Sunday morning to
hunt up a restaurant so's they can get
enough to eat to keep body and soul to
gether! Derned pretty note, that's what I
call It! Not so much as an eighth of an
ounce of bacon or bread in the shack,
b'jing, for a man to eat on a stuffy Sab
bath morning! If you aren't a gem of a
housewife, Mrs. Jobson, then I don't know
what you are, that's all!"
"But," she put in, "didn't I tell you that
we should have left the beach at an earlier
hour yesterday, so that I could go to mar
ket and get "
"No," growled Mr. Jobson, "you didn't
tell me anything of the sort, and there's a
heap too much of this 'I told you so' busi
ness about you. You didn't say a word
about the predicament that we've found
ourselves in on the eating question. I be
lieve you did mention something about
kiting me away from the beach at a bar
barous hour on Saturday morning, just so's
I couldn't enjoy another dip in the surf,
but if I had permitted you to bulldoze me
into leaving at the time you wanted to
leave you'd have hectored me into dropping
oft the train at Philadelphia so's you could
gad around the stores there, and we never
would have got home. And if we'd got into
Washington at 8 o'clock yesterday after
noon you'd just as like as not have flop
ped yourself into a rocking chair and for
gotten all about the matter of Sunday
meals, anyhow! The next time you frame
up a scheme to starve me out or drive me
to the down-town feederles on a Sunday,
Mrs. Jobson, you'll know it, that's all! Are
yeu ever going to get your duds on and
come along? It's just a put-up job so's you
won't have to set the table today, that's
all, but It'll never happen again, and dont
you forget thaU"
IS ANDREE DEAD?
flis Mother and Sister Still Believe
Him Alive and Well
BOT HIS WILL HAS BEEN PROBATED
His Own Limit When Hope Might
Cease Has Expired.
OLD HOME IS A SHRINE
(Copyright, 1901, by S. S. McClnre Co.)
Writ ton for The Evening Star by Eugene IJme
dorfer. ,
Four years have passed since S. A. An*
dree started for the north pole in a balloon.
The Swedish courts have declared officially
that the daring explorer is dead, Andree's
own extreme limit ot time has passed, all
geographers are agreed that the interpld
balloonist Is lost, his own brother has ac
cepted the bequests made to him in An
dree's will?only two women know that the
man who had the courage of his scientific
convictions and was willing to risk his life
In the demonstration of his deductions is
still alive and will return.
Two women living in the little town of
Grenna, far away from the noise and
strife of big cities; living In a place where
the mere appearance of a stranger evokes
a great deal of curiosity and wjmment; two
women, leading simple and uneventful
lives far back In the interior of Sweden;
two women?the mother and sister of An
dree?give no credence to any demonstra
tion of the improbability or impossibility of
his return. Two women?his mother and
his sister?are ready to receive him any
day or night, and these two faithful women
dust and clear every morning the very
rooms in which he perfected the plans for
his expeditions, and expect him to appear
some time or other and to tell them what
his experiences were. Say what you may.
produce the most convincing proof that
Andree must be dead, bring forth the
strongest arguments in favor of your con
tention, the mother and sister will listen
quietly, and when you have finished they
will simply say: "Han lefver och will oter
vanda" (He Is alive and will return).
It Is not mere hope, merely a strong de
sire, that makes these women so absolutely
certain of the return of their son .and
brother. It Is faith, the most infinite, un
shaking and unchanging faith in their be
lief that S. A. Andree went forth to seek
the north pole and to find It in fulfillment
of a mission given to him directly by Al
mighty God himself. "And the Lord has
never yet forsaken one of his servants," Is
the way they explain It.
What manner of women are these two.
Fru Minna Andree Is nearly seventy
years old. though her clear, ruddy face, her
erect carriage and the continuous smile
that plays around her face makes her ap
pear much younger. Her rather robust
daughter, Fru Emeline Spanberg, is a
lively, good-natured woman, and mother
and daughter impress the visitor as a pair
of the most intimate friends. The cottage
they live In Is a roomy, one-storied build
ing. furnished simply, yet In good taste.
Most of the furniture is substantial oak,
and an etching or two relieves the somber
ness of the walls.
Fru Minnie Andree lives where she has
lived through five and thirty years, ever
since she became a widow. Hers is not an
expensive household, the pension she re
ceives from the government In whose ser
vice her husband died is not sufficient to
allow her to make any ostentatious display,
even were she so Inclined, which she Is
not. Her income, however, is large enough
to dispel any fear of want, and the cottage
in the midst of a largo garden is cheery
and pleasant to look at. In the town of
Grenna the Andrees have always been held
In high esteem, and whenever a stranger
finds his way to the town the Andree cot
tage extends to him Its hospitality.
Attra?tfVfe Chartctcw.
Fru Andree, as well as her daughter, are
very pleasant hostesses. Although they
have suffered some from the wan-ton and
Idle curiosity of a few "globe trotters,"
they receive their visitor with such cor
diality as only the real Swede or Norwe
gian possesses. I shall never forget the
astonishment they expressed when I told
them that I had come from America and
that my sole object In visiting Grenna was
to learn something of the personality of
the two women, who received me heartily
at their gate. "You will find that we are
In no way remarkable." said Fru Emeline
Spanberg to me. "We are Swedish women,
like the rest of them, and what you will
see In our house you can find almost In
every house of our village. Of- course,
brother's rooms (and It did not take me
long to discern that when she spoke of
"brother" she referred to S. A. Andree) are
an exception. They have taken away a
good many instruments, maps and books,
still there Is enough left to show that
brother was not an Idler. But, then, see
for yourself. And, suiting the action to
her words, she asked me to go In.
An Intermting Household.
I do not know exactly why, but there Is
a sort of subtle, religious air around the
house. Not that anything would force It
self on the visitor, but, taking It all In
all. one Is at once Impressed by the fact
that theirs is a religious household. There
Is a large Swedish Bible on the table of
the sitting room, and through the open
door I could see a beautiful reproduction
of Leonardo La Vinci's "Last Supper,"
which graces the wall of the dining room.
Presently tea toas served, and under the
Influence of this brew?which, by the way,
both ladles strengthened with just a dash
of brandy?the conversation became less
formal and more Interesting. So Interest
ing, in fact, that the time which was left
to me proved to be too short to reach my
railway station and I accepted the Invita
tion to remain over night.
It was In the evening that I saw the ]
3
really beautiful tralti of these women.
They are well read, know the literature j
i of the- day, enjoy a bit of fun. but show |
no trace of frivolity. Their simplicity and I
naturalness are marvelous, and there Is '
u.e stamp of truthfulness on every sen
tence they express. In every word they ut^
i ter. They are devout women, and Frit
Andree Invokes grace before the simple
and wholesome meal. "And. oh. Lord, keen
! thy servant, my son. and return him safe*
ly. ' she ends her prayer today as she has
ended it every Jay for these four years,
"Amen! Amen!" responds Fru Spanberg,
and I found myself saying ??Amen" also.
Her lloy's First Shoes.
It Is Impossible to describe the glow
pride and satisfaction which spreads ove#
the kindly face of the mother wh?n hh?
exhibits the first shoe her son wore, when
she points out the first prayer book hrf
used, when she holds up to your Inspect
tion the white tie he wore at his con*
flrmatlon; and when she opens the drawe*
and takes out the various parchments
which testify to the valor of her son ill
high school and university, when she han*
dies the various medals he received, when
she asks you to read the flattering letters
in which countless scientific societies noti
fied him of his election as one of the|#
members, then. Indeed, you see in htf
motherhood glorified and transfigured, sa
to speak.
"Has there ever been a mother mora
blessed than IT" she asks, and tt must b??
said that her face gives the answer.
"From boyhood on my boy has felt thatj
like the ai>ostles of old, he must go to
parts unknown and preach the gospel.
Not in the same way as the regular inis*
sionarles; oh. no. He was never much of a
talker. But God gave him the capacity,
and opportunity to study, and that is alsd
one way to make God's goodness _ known.
Yes, he was to find the north pole.'and b/
his discovery of this much-sought-after re*
gion to testify before the world to the
greatness of our Lord."
Ilnoy-ant Faith and Hope.
I Perhaps the mother is mistaken; per
haps?and a number of competent people
so declare?Andree was not a religious
man. But who could have the heart to
contradict the mother's belief or attempt
to shake her faith. No, a thousand times
no! Even though Andree had been the
exact opposite of all his mother believes
him to be, and ^ven If I had had the most
convincing proof of It. I would not dare
to breathe the least vestige of such a pos
sibility In the presence of his mother, w !io
Is happy in the conviction that her son is
one of God's chosen instruments, and who
in this her happiness Is buoyant, hopeful
and contented.
They do not keep late hours In the >n*
dree house. Nine o'clock finds them In
their beds, and with the first song of the
early birds Fru Andree and Fru Spanberg
are out in the open. A large number of
pigeons swarm around the women. sn?l
the two Great Danes in the background
come to say "Good morning" with a Joy
ous bark. But the pigeons are not fright
ened. They know their mistresses and know
the dogs, and in sweet harmony they live
without friction.
After an excellent breakfast, consisting
of coffee, toast, egg* and fruit, I bade tho
two ladles "Good-bye." and as the carriage
took me to my station I wished that An
dree might return. I wished for his re
turisfor no other reason but that the faith
of his mother and sister should prove Jus
tified. I wished, and wish, for his speedy
return?if from no other cause?Just that
their positive expectations should come
true. And I, for one. should be extremely
pleased If the day would come when these
two women could say, "Han lefver och has
oterwand"?"He Is alive and has returned."
Rnitlisli Coronation*.
Prom the London Chronicle.
The deliberate proceedings in connection
with the coronation of Edward VII afTord
a striking contrast to the hurried ones of
James II. He at once appointed a com
mittee of the lords of the privy council,
which met on February lft, 1085. Just ten
days after the death of Charles II, to con
sider the manner of the coronation. At this
meeting the king presided, and the pro
ceedings of the coronations of James I and
Charles II were read. On February 19 a
commission was granted to consider the
claims. At a meeting on February 21 a list
of regalia was presented, and Sir Christo
pher Wren was directed to present an esti
I mate of cost of scaffolding in the Abbey and
in Westminster Hall. On the listh resolutions
1 were passed concerning the dress to be
worn by peeri and peeresses. Charles 11
must have possessed the gift of second
sight when he apologized for taking so long
a-dying.
One PMuagtr Too Many.
From the New York Time*.
A good story Is going the rounds of the
offices of the Metropolitan Street Railway
Company up in the big building at Broad
way and Houston street concerning the
wonderful presence of mind displayed re
cently by a new conductor on one of the
company's trolley cars. The particular car
was bowling along up Broadway recently
when it was hailed and boarded by a com
pany inspector.
The official hurriedly counted the passen
gers In the car and found that there were
nine. Then he cast his eye up to the regis
ter and found that there had been only
eight fares rung up. He disclosed his Iden
tity to the new conductor and called at
tention to the discrepancy.
Slowly and painfully the now hand
counted over his passengers and then
scanned his register.
"Begorra, an' you're roight, sir." he said,
and promtly stopped the car.
"Say," he demanded, addressing the pas
sengers in an authoritative manner, "wan
o' youse fellows'11 hav" to git ofT the
car-r."
???
Tlie Duration of Dreams.
From the Medical Record.
G. B. Flux reports the case of a sailor to
whom he administered nitrous oxide gas
for the purpose of tooth extraction. While
anesthetized the patient dreamed of a ship
wreck. through which he had passed. In fall
its details. The dream could not have last
ed more than ten seconds, while his ex
periences during the wreck covered a period
of three and three-quarter hours.
THE XEW REGULATION FOR SPEED OF AITOMOB1LM.
From I>e Hire.
"How h* looks at mo! I wooder if I am fotaf too Cool/