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mi/ffl/JVGs HEARD J wtTS&N 'I will never forgot an experience I had In San Francisco," said a commercial trav eler. while passing away an Idle hour at a down-town hotel a few days ago. ' I found myself In that city for a day or two with nothing to do. I went down Market street in an aimless way looking at the people and into the shop windows. Finally 1 came to the largest agency for tire and burglar-proof safes It has ever been my for tune to see. There was an Immense show room tilled with these protections against (ire and burglars. I looked into the window a while and then my curiosity led me to go ir.slde the door. I had Inspected half a dozen safes when a clerk approached and offered to show and explain the various kinds of safes to me. I told him that I was an idle sightseer with no intention of buying, who had Leen attracted by the sight of such a great variety of steel safes. He seemed quite willing to be of seivice and we went from one to the other of the massive affairs, he explaining and I ask ing questions. Finally 1 began to feel ac quainted with the subject sufficiently to ask many rather Intelligent questions, and I asked him about how to temper steel and how the burglars proceed to take the tem per out of them and to make their way to ward the valuables. I had asked him many questions on that line when he looked up at me with a sharp, suspicious look on his face. "Perhaps you can tell me more about tempering steel than I can tell you?" he remarked. "The situation dawned upon me. I was an object of suspicion. 1 was glad when the opportunity came when I could excuse myself and get out of that neighborhood. "I<ater in the day I told some of my friends of the experience and of the sus picion I had aroused. They enjoyed a hearty laugh at my expense and told me that It was not uncommon for noted cracksmen on the Pacific coast to go Into such places and Inform themselves as to the latest Improvements In safe building in order that they might operate th^ better. "The dealers, far from being unwilling to give Information to such men, were rather pleased to talk with them, though now and then a recognition led to an ar rest on the spot. "From that day to this I have never sought Information on the subject of bur glar-proof safes." ***** "There are many people who stay up nights to study how they can beat a rail road company, and there are probably Just ' as many persons with conscientious scru ples who will go out of their way to see that a company gets all that is Justly due It," observed a railroad passenger agent yesterday to a Star reporter. "We of the railroad realm receive all sorts of letters of other than a business na ture, the majority asking for free transpor tation, others for donations and an occa sional "conscience' communication. The latter are the most amusing of the lot. When I say 'conscience' communication I : mean a letter from some one to the effect j that he has at some time taken advantage i of the 'scalper's' rate and Incloses the amount to which he feels indebted to the J railroad. "I received Just such a communication the other day. It bore the post office mark of Sydney. Australia, and was unsigned. Ac cording to the letter the sender rode over our line from Lexington, Ky.. to Washington, in 1S95, on a "scalper's" ticket. The letter went on to say that the sender was con science stricken, and, to ease his mind, sent $?'! to make up the discrepancy be tween the price of a regular ticket and the amount he paid the 'scalper' for transpor tation." ***** "The question of which foot to fit first Is an Important one to us." said a Penn sylvania avenue shoe dealer, as he tugged to get a small pair of oxfords on a large toot. "It may seem strange to you, but It Is rarely we do not experience some trouble In fitting one foot while the other Is easily covered. A popular belief obtains that the left foot is the hardest to fit. and consequently many clerks always try a ehoe on that foot first. It Is not true, how ever, according to my observation, that there is any inflexible rule as to which foot to try first. It Is true, nevertheless, that In a majority of cases If you succeed In fitting the left foot you will have no trou ble with the right. My practice is to try both feet before I pronounce a pair of shoes a perfect fit. Then I am sure to avoid any mistake growing out of foot formation. No two people have feet form ed exactly alike, and the shoe salesman who thinks so and is governed accordingly will meft with many complaints. For some time X pondered over the problem of fit ting sloes to feet, and especially as to why the left foot should be considered th? standard by which to be governed. The only rational theory I have been able to evolve is a very simple one when you come to consider It. Nine out of ten peo ple you meet are right-handed, as we say. About one person in ten, or perhaps the per cent is even less than that, uses his left har,& if you will observe a person who use? the right hand when she or he Is standing and talking they invariably rest their weight on the left foot, and vice versa, a left-handed person will rest his or her weight on the right foot. The re sult Is that with right-handed people the left foot is probably a fraction larger than the right foot, and the shoe clerk must Inevitably And this to be a fact sooner or later. That. In my opinion. Is the explana-1 tion of the common belief that the left foot is the standard to go by in the fitting of shoes. But, as I have already said, there Is no rule that is absolutely safe to follow, and my plan is to always fit both feet before I let a customer leave the house." ? it#* An interesting illustration of the excel lent marksmanship of Uncle Sam's men be hind the guns, as developed during the re cent inspection trip of the naval committee men on the U. S. S. Dolphin, nas Just come to light. Representative Roberts of Massa chusetts was of the party. Approaching Gunner's Mate Spoer of the ship, Mr. Rob erts offered him a dollar to hit a sea gull. Spoer took a forty-pound six-millimeter Colt's automatic gun, and after a trial shot he popped a sea gull on the fly at 400 yards. One of the representatives was firm In his declaration that the shot was an acci dental one, whereupon Spoer shot another gull at .550 yards. The crowd of astonished | witnesses to the feat finally came to the conclusion that Spoer was the crack shot of the ship This Spoer modestly disclaimed, saying, 'W e've a shipload of 'em, sir." bpoer got his dollar. ***** Speaking of what the countrymen call ?yaller Jackets,' reminds me of one of the most torturing experiences of my career and one which had In it the virtue of a moral." said Col. L. S. Brown, the South ern railway general agent. "Since that time I have a bump of caution on my head as big as a water bucket. As the result of a bit of foolish boyish whim I had ex actly twelve bumps of caution on my head at one time, but that is quite enough for all'practical purposes. I was living near a lake at the time, and, like most boys, had a fondness for the water. I was not happy unless skimming along the surface of the lake In a skiff, and spent much of my time in rowing and paddling, always, of course, near the shore. There was a skiff moored at the landing where I had estab lished loafing headquarters, and It was a good-sized boat. There was the usual seat In the bow of the skiff, with a hole In the cross piece large enough to admit my . ,? not know why I wanted to look <nto that place, but I was seized with a sudden and uncontrollable impulse to run my head into the hole and see what was going on inside. In went my head. What happened to me was enough. I felt a dozen needles pop through my scalp in a second It was all done so quick that 1 ami wh w ,W?3t Was ^PPPnin* to me. and when I tried to Jerk my head out my chin caught on the little partition, and to -vf,my aouI 1 roukl not &et my chin out. In the meantime the needles kept popping Into my head, in a boyish w.iy of rea soning I concluded that my head was swelling and there would be no chance in the world for me to get It out. In the meanwhile my feet and hands were busy i ? ,,Was P"11,n8 to beat the blind. Well I finally got my head out. and. surveying the situation, found that I had literally stuck my head Into a hornets' nest An ammonia shower hath relieved me some what but since that time I have been hoart\V *1 ?f th? thinK of Peking my head Into .places where It does not belong." Mont Pelee'g Tower of Bock. From the London fJlobo. A notable result of the eruption of Mount Pelee. Martinique, Is a huge obelisk or tower of rock, extruded from the top and adding 800 or 900 feet to its height, which Is now some 5.000 feet. The pillar issues fro mthe new cone of the volcano, and vir tually plugs It. At Its base the column Is some 300 to 350 feet thick, and from cer tain points of view tapers to a needle or "aiguille." It also appears to bend, or arch over toward the southwest, or In the dl St. Pierre. On the southwestern face It is cavernous and slaggy. showing w^here explosions had carried away parts of the substance. On the opposite, or north f*cf- the surface appears solid and smooth, but having parallel grooves like ft?rlMnnmhv ?.gS shows the marks of attrition b> the surrounding rock. The tower is composeu of lava, which solidified before it could flow over the crater The grown by accretions from below, and It appears to have a vent, or tube up Its interior, as red-hot stones and steam have been observed to Issue from the apex the formation seems to account for the sugar loaf" and conical hills of volcanic rock found in Scotland and elsewhere-for example, Rio Janeiro. '?This offer of your heart and hand is very take?'" U,e Marg;lte BlrI- "b"t I wiU An." gasped the swell salesman, unthink i ^ ^ you take 11 w|th you or shall I send It home?"?Tid Bits. SCIENCE AND MATRIMONY. f*rom Punch. ,111 j i i /11S111! it i . He (the accepted one, enthusiastically d lscuaalng their projects for the future)?"I think It would be a splendid Men. when we marry, to have the kitchen fitted with a radium cooking ranee!" The Betrothed (who doesn't believe in lo ag engagements, very sweetly)?"Br?ye-ea. lutUf. but If radium does not we into ?ee say, la one month's time f**m today. W won't watt for it, dear, will wet" BOARDWALK CUSTOMS "Thar* must be a nry large number of young man from Chiang?, Cincinnati, Pitta burg and other Hanky-Pankvtllee down on the Jersey coast this season." remarked a District of Columbia knocker, wbo was driven back home from the beach by the equinoctial-looking rain of last Tuesday. "Anyhow, you'd be amased to Me what a lot of these cut-ups are wearing their dinner suit* and even evening clothes, on a boardwalk that I was rubbering at In Jersey recently. They obviously belong to the class of young persons wbo believe Implicitly In what the etlketty books tell them, and you'll recall that It's one of the keystone truths of those learned works that 'dress suits' may be worn with pro priety any time after ? o'clock. Now, the sun la still ay-way up high In the west at 4 o'clock durLag the season on the Jersey coast, but that fact doesn't bother the fetching young things who take stock In the 6 o'clock hour for the evening togs. They hop into their Tuxedos and swallow tails?oh, yes, they all call 'em 'dress suits' ?a while before the 8 o'clock hotel dinner, and, as they've nothing else to do to while away the somewhat anxious hour before dinner, they Just parade up and down the boardwalk with their shiny black togB on and give the sun a crack at them. And, at that, nine-tenths of them wear those rak ish. pulled-over-in-front golf cape with their sunshine evening togs, the effect of the same. I m bound to say, being weird in the extreme. However the Tuxedo or swallow tall, with the golf cap. is simply chaste to another combination of effects that I saw on tha boardwalk one evening last week. It may sound pretty strong, but it's absolutely on the level. A young fel low who looked very much Manayunk or Ipswich passed by the hotel pavilion in which I was seated at a quarter to 6 o'clock In the evening. His makeup was strictly as follows, and no kidding: "A vpry long and flappy spike-tailed coat, a pair of tight worsted trousers with 'per manent turnups' and belt straps, a russet belt with a brass buckle passed through the belt straps, no waistcoat, a pink-barred madras shirt, a standing collar and a long, flappy. blue-polka-dot four-in-hand tle^ a pair of russet shoes, and?the crowning In famy?a bulgy green-plaid Tarn O'Shanter cap pulled rakishly over his left ear. Fact. Hope I may die. If that young person didn't look like an individual at war with himself, you can search me. "I observed, besides, that a very large number of the male board-walkers had an extra buttonhole pierced in the soft-bos omed Outing shirts, in which to screw their large, oriilamme yellow diamond studs. Tasty scheme, that, isn't It? I used to see those outing shirts with the extra button hole in front in show windows out In Om aha and St. Paul and other places of that sort, bpt I never quite understood what the extra buttonhole was for until I found out at the Jersey coast. "And. talking about lively clothes and things," continued the District of Columbia knocker, "some of the people that excur sionlze to the Jersey coast are Just as lively as the clothes they wear. There was a whole plenty of action, for instance, in an Incident that happened at the hotel next to the one that liad my name on file, on Saturday last. There was a tremendous crowd of excursionists, from Pittsburg, Buffalo, Cleveland, Cincinnati, Philadelphia and such places, storming all of the hotels, and about ItOO of them, all hot and tired and hungry, were lined up In the big lobby of that hotel next to the one at which I stopped. They were all waiting for a crack at the already full register and a chance to buy a raffle ticket for a room. Several people in the big crowd, it seemed, had written in advance, some of them a week ahead of time, for rooms, but no attention was paid to their advance orders. Not unnaturally, they were pretty sore over this treatment. One of them in particular, a man who had engaged two rooms for himself and family two weeks in advance, only to find that they had not been reserved for him. was particularly grouchy over this treatment, and he didn't make any pretense of hold ing it in. either. " 'Say. you." he bawled to the hotel pro prietor from the outskirts of the crowd In the hotel lobby, 'd'ye want to know what you are? You're a bum shine, that's what you are, and if you come out In front of your dinky old caravansary I'll knock your block off for you." "The hotel man was game himself, and he had a hot-night fume of his own on. " 'You for me. Jack!' he yelled In reply, and he raced around the counter and quickly Joined the angry chap who had in vited him to get his head punched off in front of his own hotel. The two men walked side by side out of the hotel and down the long flight of steps leading to the pavement. When they reached the pave ment they squared off at each other, regu lar ring style, and began to pound each other all over the sidewalk and road. They were pretty well matched, and honors were about easy between them, until a couple of the hotel porters ran out and separated them. Then the hotel proprietor quickly hopped up the steps, wiping his face with his handkerchief^ and Inside of about four minutes after hfe had left the counter he was back there and showing prospective guests the locations of rooms on his chart, while the man who had Invited him outside went off with his family to seek quarters elsewhere."' Santos-Dumont's New Airship. From the Loi.dcin Globe. The new balloon of Santos-Dumont (No. 10) Is forty-eight meters long, and has a capacity for gas of 2.010 cubic meters. The gas bag is In the form of a cylinder, with rounded ends, that of the front tapering to a point. It is divided Into three compart ments by partitions which keep the gas from sudden displacement. There are also two small gas hags inside the main one to preserve the shape of the latter. The bal loon carries two aerial propellers, one at the prow, the other at the stern. They are driven independently from a sixty horse power petrol motor weighing 160 kilograms, and situated between them. The frame work of wood and steel wire is not unlike a lattice girder, with a triangular section, and weighs 100 kilograms. This framework supports the motor, helices, rudder and basket of the pilot or aeronaut?that is to say. M. Dumont. Beneath it are suspended four basket cars for three passengers, and a second aeronaut, who looks after the stopping arrangements and the passengers. The basket of M. Dumont. the driver, and the second aeronaut are conical, with a square bottom, and those of the passengers are cubical, and about a meter In size. The new balloon having attracted tho no tice of the French military authorities, M. Dumont has offered it to the minister of ; war in the event of war with any power | save Brazil and the United States. Thackeray's Mustache. From Note# and Queries. In a note on Samuel Laurence's portrait of Thackeray?that representing the novel ist's face in full?the Illustrated London News of October 13, 1855, says: "It Is not. we must confess, altogether true to his present appearance, for it wants a recent and becoming addition to the upper lip. In the shape of a black mustache, that contrasts most admirably with a head of silver gray; but It Is like the man, and will be welcome to his many admirers." The reference here to the mustache Is In teresting for the reason that every portrait of Thackeray (with one exception) repre sents him with a clean-shaven upper lip, the exception being Macltse's pencil draw ing of the famous "Titmarsh," which, how ever, belongs to a much earlier date (vim., about 1940), and In which there 1s Just a suspicion of a mustache. Presumably the hirsute appendage of 1855 was merely a passing fancy, which the razor speedily dis posed of. I should be glad to know If there exists any portrait of Thackeray of that date showing the mustache. An English landowner out unusually early one morning for a walk on his estate. In turning a corner came suddenly upon an Irishman whom he knew as an inveterate poacher. This is the conversation that took place between them: "Good morning, Pat." "Good marnln', yer haner. An' phwat brings yer haner out so airly this marnln'T" "I'm Just walking around, Pat. to Me If I can get an appetite for my breakfast. And what brings you out so early, Pat?" "Och. be Jabers. Ol'in Jest welkin' around to sm If Ol can't git a breakfast fer me ap petite."?Tld Bits. Doctor?"Tour trouble Is a bronchial one. fen wrtn hare to stop making speeches." Populist Statesman (in a husky, agitated whisper)?"1 haven't gat to atop talking *n tlnly, have I. dMtor?"?ThUadsfeMa rreaa CAUSE JOB JEALOUSY Thar* li a young and rising towyw In thla town vbow well-to-do wtte to at ha?t ton year* older than he Is, and, of court* J**I ous to ratio to btPfcuperlor as*. Th* rtolng young lawyer *? ?'Jack" to a tow Intimate friends and "J*?*le" to his wife, who* personal pulchrtttiOe is several geographical leagues from txlng phenomenal. Not long ago, fif order to keep a bettor line on him, his wWe had a telephone placed In their home.'1 She was thus enabled to ring him up evSrjf1 twenty minutes and as- i certain that h4^wi& really at work In hla office instead ftelng off somewhere en gaged in riot 4n<f Revelry In midday. In side of a week* his Had worn a faded track In the carpet between his desk and the tele phone, answering tier calls. She always had what seemed to her some pretty good excuse for calling lilm up at these close intervals?with an Inquiry as to what he wanted for dinner, or an errand for him to do on his way home, or a yarn about the bird being sick and drooping in his cage, or something of the like. But her frequent calls wore on him a heap, all the same, and caused his office boy to titter every time the 'phone rang, and his homely female stenographer?he had to get a homely one? to gase out of the window with a vindic tive "I'm-glad-she's-keeplng-cases-on-hlm" smile. After a few days the rising young lawyer tried to enter Into a conspiracy with the hello girl who usually answered his home 'phone to tell his wife, when she rang him up, that he was busy, but the hello girl was compelled to duck at that deep, dark suggestion, and told the rising young law yer over the wire?not without the Inter jection of sundry giggles?that she would be liable to lose her Job If she did that. Then the r. y. lawyer tried to get away with the scheme of sending his office boy to the 'phone every time the bell rang, and telling his wife, In case It were she at the other end of the line, that he was out. This worked all right for fully half a day, but the scheme fell through owing to the fact that, at the very moment when the office boy was telling his employer's wife, upon her twentieth ring-up, that the lawyer was not In. the young man of the law said sometiiing In a high, argumentative tone to a fellow lawyer who happened to be in the office. Then the office boy dropped the receiver In alarm. "Say, boss, she heard you," the office boy said to the r. y. lawyer, then he had to slink guiltily over to the 'phone and tell his acrid-voiced wife that he had Just hap pened to come In while the office boy was at the 'phone. It was a pretty wabbly story, and when he got home that evening the atmosphere was decidedly Trapped. He took to answering the telephone himself after that, as usual, and he's still doing It, although the telephone got him Into a hope less-looking mess a few afternoons ago. A handsome young widow in her second mourning, a client of the young lawyer's, was at his office to sign some papers In connection with the settling up of her de ceased husband's estate, and she had her pet King Charles spaniel named "Jackie'' along with her. She was exceedingly af fectionate toward the spaniel, and at every pause in her conversation with the young lawyer she bestowed a rataplan of baby talk and hugs and caresses upon the se renely unappreciatlve dog. The handsome young widow was caress ing and making much over the spaniel when the 'phone bell rang. The lawyer went to the 'phone. His wife was at the other end of the 'phone. And the conver sation that ensued in the lawyer's office, while It could never have been understood by anybody not on the Inside of the situa tion, was diverting nevertheless. The law yer had Just picked, up the receiver and said "Hello, my dear," in a weary sort of way. to his wife, when the dashing young widow pressed the saanlel to her bosom and delivered herself of a bunch of talk some thing like this: "Who Is momsey's babesey-wabeaey? Who Is momsey's 'ovey lttle Jackie-wackle"' I>et me hug 'lm?sweetest sing zat ever was In xis wide world, Isn't 'lm?" A look of acute pain crossed the young lawyer's face. There was reason for It. The dashing widow and her dog were seat ed only a few feet away from the tele phone. and her caressings of the dog were distinctly heard at the other end of the line by the young lawyer's acidulous wife. The expression _of pain on his face was caused by his Wife's startled and tingry in quiry as to who the woman was that was caressing and hugging him?the brazen thing! "Does lttle-bitsey Jackie-wackle 'ove his momsey-womsey?" the handsome young widow was saying to the spaniel, holding him up on her lap. and gazing at the mutt ecstatically. "And does lttle Jacksle wacksle 'ove to put his cute lttle arms around his momsey-womsey's neck and " "Madam." exclaimed the young lawyer, dropping the receiver. "I beg of you. if you have any consideration for my domestic happiness, to?er?cut that out for a minute ?hello, my dear, yes?Just in a minute?for my wife is at the other end of the line, and she calls me 'Jackie,' and she thinks that there Is some woman here who is?er? caressing me, you know?hello, my dear hello?you are coming down this Instant, are you? Very well, my dear?very well " And then he hung up the receiver and tramped up and down his office, running his hands nervously through his hair, while the gay young widow, the truth of the situation dawning upon her, and knowing something of his domestic circumstances, lay back In her chair and held her sides with laughter. The young lawyer looked at her In an alarmed, chagrined sort of way, but It was about five minutes before she could keep her face straight. And then he begged her to keep Jack.sie-w.'icksle" In his office for a while, until his wife arrived, so that he could show to his wife, and prove to her "Understand?" he wound up, significant ly. "Oh, of course I understand." the dash ing widow gurgled, and then she went off into another paroxysm of laughter. A few minutes before the lawyer's wife was due to arrive at his office to "find out about things," the spaniel, seeing a cat on the street, raced through the open office door, and the lawyer, seeing his "evidence" getting away from him. had to hustle out and chase the dog all over Judiciary square before he could corral him and carry the d?g back to the office. His wife was In the office, glaring at the serene and dimpling young widow, when he returned, carrying the panting spaniel In his arms. He took his wife aside and explained the situation to her in a low tone. But she continued to glare at the dashing young widow until the latter left th*i office with her dog. And even now there Is a wild suspicion in the mind of the lawyer's wife that, when she notified him that she was coming down to his office to "see about things." he had hustled out onto the street and grabbed hold of the first dog he could pick up to make his story good. Floating Gardens in Mexico. From Arboriculture. While the C'ity of Mexico is eight thou sand feet higher 'than sea level, there are In the vicinity several lakes and marshy tracts which require extensive drainage operations. The Vlga canal Is one of these great drainage systems and upon it are numerous barges'. wM$h transport farm and garden produce fjjom the market gar dens to the city. iFlat?hottomed boats, pro pelled by a pole, convey passengers to the floating gardens. 3x' , The gardens arejoca^d upon marsh land quite similar to the tule lands of California. The soil is composed of decayed reed and grass roots, bell* entirely of vegetable mould and Quite fertile. Ditches at fre quent Intervals jdraln, the gardens and furnish meaia of communication by canoes and small boats to the larger canal, and thus to the city. Here are the great market gardens, where vegetables are grown for Mexico's consumption. -Here, too. are grown the magnificent flowers which form one of the principal attractions of Mexico City, the flower market being a wonder in the quantity and exquisite beauty both of the individual tropic flowers and the magnifi cent floral forms. Which are made with great taste and skill. Street cars also con nect the city with the villages upon the Vlga canal, and they are well patronised. Same Old Plaint. Pi on the Chicago News. "Drat the luck!" growled Samson. "What's the matter, dear?" asked Delilah. "Been deanin* house again, ain't your' queried the champion heavyweight lifter. "Why. yea," she answered. "I ~ ?Oh. ?f coarse," Interrupted the victim of iiln iiiilsnree "and my hair ft* have keen MiiiiliMttr torn in the WHEN MoCHESNE? WON "Jt vu alone toward the fall of last year that t bag&n to main a nuisance of my self by my offensive manner of expatiating to my friends upon tbe matchless merit of the western race horse McCbeeney." dis mally remarked a well-known Washington sportsman and club man, a member of the hunting set. "I was around Chicago quite ?I To< last summer, and I saw all of Mc Chesney's great races on the Chicago tracks. By the end of the summer I was more than convinced that there wasn't a four-legged trick In the world that could beat him, with all conditions fair and square. "When I returned to Washington and started to tell the fellows what a wonder McChesney was they aroused a whole lot of latent ferocity lp me by guying my en thusiasm over the horse. They told me, with the calm, not to say the Imbecile, manner of superiority of all easterners In discussing the claims of western nice horses, that there were forty overnight handicap horses racing on the eastern tracks that were capable of running rings around McChesney at any distance from a Jump to four miles, and then they lay back and grinned and strung me when 1 bawled at them that they didn't know what they were talking about, and that. In my opin ion, McChesney. If he had lived In the days of Bucephalus and Pegasus, could have glveenbothof them fifty pounds weight and half a mile's running start, and then have lost them In a five furlong sprint. Oh, I was enthusiastic about McChesney, all right, and when the talk began last fall about a match race between McChesney and Hermis, the eastern champion among the three-year olds. I all but came to blows with oodles of the fellows who had the au dacity to express the opinion to me that Hermis had at least a fair chance to finish second in a match race with McChesney. I went down to New Orleans last winter especially to take a look at McChesney running down there?oh, yes. of course, the Mardl Gras happened to be on when I struck New Orleans?and when McChesney got slaughtered in the Montgomery handi cap at Memphis last spring I didn't craw fish a little bit in my opinion of him, as cribing his defeat to the fact that he had been overcampalgned. "When, after the eastern racing season was well under way, and McChesney was brought east, the talk started again of a match race between McChesney and Her mis, followed by talk of other match races between McChesney and Waterboy, Mc Chesney and Africander, McChesney and Irish Lad, and so on. I became so positively vicious in my plugging for McChesney that the fellows nick named me 'the Mad Mc Mullah,' and solemnly pretended that they were making arrangements to have me put under restraint. "All of the propositions for a match race between McChesney and the eastern turf champions fell through, to my Intense gloom, owing, as I believed then, and as I believe now, to the easterners' fear of stack ing their pets against 'big Mac,' but even then I did not let go of my plugging habit for the western thoroughbred. I told 'em all, in what must have been the most exas perating and nerve-racking manner of gloating that they'd be camping out If ever they made the foolish break of playing any horse on earth, English Derby winners not barred, to beat McChesney. By the time it was announced, a couple of weeks ago, that McChesney was really going to run, Mc Chesney had become a sort of obsession with me. On the night that McChesney's name appeared among the entries for a race, for all ages, at a mile, on the following day, I telegraphed to Algy Daingerfield, the secretary of the Benning track and the as sistant secretary of the Jockey Club, ask ing him If McChesney was really going to run on the next day, or if he would be scratched. Mr. Daingerfield replied Immedi ately that McChesney was a sure starter, and I took passage on the owl train for New York that night. At last I was going to have a chance to see my beloved McChesney make the conceited New York racing people sit up straight. "Well, I won't go Into details about the race?the dope books will tell you all about It. McChesney got licked, and by a two year-old?The Minute Man. McChesney was carrying, virtually, a bale of hay on his back to the two-year-old's ninety-some pounds, but he got licked all the same. The two-year-old. however, had to traipse over the mile course at a speed never before at tained by a two-year-old? 1.:w and a small fraction to do the job, and McChesney was right at his withers at the finish. But a nose Is as good as a furlong In a horse race, and McChesney was trounced 'good and proper.' Incidentally I was separated from a little matter of $300, which I put on Mc Chesney at 1 to 2 merely out of sentiment? I figured that $230 was pretty good interest on an Investment of $300. which the bookie would only be able to hold for about fif teen minutes. But the bookmaker's still holding It. "I returned to Washington after McChes ney s defeat, stood for the stringing that the gang handed me over the horse s llckin* by a two-year-old. and still kept up my riot ous rooting for McChesnoy. When, on Sun day, I saw by the entries that McChesney was going In the Twin City Handicap on Monday. Labor day, and that the vaunted Hermis would also be a starter,I again wired to Mr. Daingerfield to find out about It, and he replied that McChesney and Hermis would surely start. "I was at the track on Monday, in a lather of anticipatory frenzy over the beat ing that I knew McChesney was going to Hermls and all the retf'of the blif field. "I was so fumey In fact, that when the betting opened on the race I leaped Into the betting ring and put my $300 down on Mc Chesney at 8 to 5. when. If I had only waited a few minutes. I could have eot as good as 2^ to 1. When the horses were on their way to the post I climbed up to the roof of the club house and Just euraled with rapture. Not only was I going to be vindicated for my long year of vociferous shouting for McChesney. but McChesnev was going to win me back the $800 I had lost on him when he was beaten by the two-year-old, and a tidy little bundle to boot. "Well. McChesney's win was all right He fairly smothered his field?made 'em look like a Langley buzzard trying to beat out a real buzzard. The ensuing ten min utes are a howling, delirious blank to me and. as you perceive, I'm not able to talk above a whisper yet. "It took me about twenty minutes to cool out of my frenzied gloat, and then I sped into the betting ring to collect my $1 300 "And the same will be about all. I didn't get the $1,300. I had clean and absolutely forgotten. In my enthusiasm over the horse and his race, the bookmaker with whom I had made the bet. I had no more idea of the location of the bookmaker than I have now of the location of Beirut. As a rule when I make a bet in a big betting ring I take great mental precautions to remember the place where I 'make the bet?I count the number of stanchions and fix my book maker's position In his relationship to the numbered stanchions, or count the electric lights, and place him that way. and. In ad dition. take a good look at the bookie's face, as well as at the face of the sheet writer. This time, however, I did nothing of the sort. I Just plunked my $500 down at the first book I came to and rushed away, and in the ensuing excitement I lost all recollection of where I had bet the money. I strolled up and down the cash iers' line, of course, asking them all if they had a $500 McChesney bet unaccounted for. but they only gave me the choppy 'Naw nottln' doin',' and I had to give it up. "But McChesney won. ail the same, blast his four old white stockings?he won, didn't he?woe! yow-ee! And look at the vindica tion I got!" "Uh-huh?a thousand dollars' worth of vindication." said the man to whom the story was narrated, and then the McChes ney enthusiast scratched his head a bit thoughtfully and remarked that a thousand was a pretty hefty figure to pay for such a "vindication." Terrible Tate. From the Chicago News. Parrot?"What 1s the matter with the monkey T" Owl?"He thinks he 1s going to die. Oruat believer in transmigration, you know." Parrot?"What of thatT" Owl?"Why, he Is afraid he'll return to earth in the shape of a dude." Captain (of visiting hall team)?"The grounds are too wet for a game today, 1 gUMkM Local Manager?"When It's as near the end of the season as this, cap'n, the grounds are never too wet for a game. SeeT"? Philadelphia Press. Crltlo?"Marvelous drama of yours, sir. There's a scene 1b that play that Shake speare himself could net hare written." Author?"Indeed, yon are too nattering." Critic?'"I was referring to that railway la the UM aotM?Tld BUs. 1 STUDY OF PANICS Crash in Stocks Different FronhCommercial Disaster. SOME FAMOUS SLUMPS WHAT THE THEORY OF REGULAR RECURRENCE MEANS. How Wall Street Flans Defense?Dan ger Decreasing and Recovery la Speedier. Written for The Erealac Star bjr Sarano 8. Pratt, aeaoclata rdltor of Wall Street Journal. "A slow panic"?that la the phrase that has been Invented to describe the stock phrase, felicitous as It seems, is, strictly speaking, a self-contradiction. There can be no such thins as a slow panic. Panics are sudden paroxysms of fear; their action is rapid. Their work of disaster may be done in a day. like the Charleston earth quake, a Kansas cyclone or the Mount Pelee eruption. The approach to a panic may be general and slow, and what takes of overspeculatlon In and by bank*, with Jackson's flght against the second United States Bank as tb? Immediate cause of the convulsion. The panic of 1857, starting with the suspension of the Ohio Life ana Trust Company on August 24. was the In evitable consequence of the overexpanslon which followed the discovery of gold In California and Australia. The banks over extended themselves In promoting many companies organized to build railroads, of which there had been an extraordinary de velopment Hince liCU. when the first rall oad train was moved on this continent. In 1S30 the drat railroad stock was listed with the stock exchange, and thereafter railroad stocks, rapidly su|>ersedlng the bank stocks, took the first place in the speculative mar ket. The panic of 1S73 was the result of green back Inflation, caused by the war and tha promotion of the first transcontinental railroad lines. It was the failure of Jay Cooke, the great promoter of the Northern Pacific, that set the ball of panic rolling. The panic of 1884. which Included the sad dening spectacle of the great captain ana ex-President, Oen. Grant, carried down In one of the wrecks by the rascality of his partner, was a reaction from the boom that followed the resumption of specie payments in 1S7#. There was a semi-panto In llfiu. re sulting from the suspension of the great house of the Barings in Ix>ndon. The 1898 panlo. which belongs to the same class as those of 18S7. 18S7 and 18T3. was a commer cial crisis of continental extent, the result mainly of the free silver agitation which caused the fear, entertained both abroad and In this country, that the Cnited States would become a silver standard country like Mexico and China, which, l>y the way. ar? now at work to put their silver cur rency upon a gold basis. Now. while the causes of these panics were not In every respect alike, yet It Is noticeable that In every case they follow a period of expansion In which the evils of overs peculation and overproduction de velop. Moreover, they move along similar lines of experience. There are the same danger signals displayed long In advance. Certain signs of weakness are visible to BROADWAY IN NEW YORK'S FINANCIAL DISTRICT. Trinity Church, which faces Wall street, and the Empire building. place thereafter, the work of recovery, takes time; but the panic Itself strikes with the swiftness of an electric bolt. The ex periences of this year may be said te have prevented a panic. But for the slow liqui dation, the steady decline in prices, the re adjustment of values to the higher rates of interest, the reaction from the evils of overpromotion and overspeculatlon?but for this there would have been probably such a panic this fall as would have shaken the financial world. . But a panic foreseen is usually a panic averted. Stock and Commercial Panics. The fact is we misuse the word "panic" to describe a number of very dissimilar phenomena. A panic In Wall street is a different thing altogether from a commer cial panic. One is a convulsion in the stock market. The other involves disaster to the industries and trade of the whole country. Strictly speaking, a panic is a sudden crash in the leading markets, such as might result from unexpected news of an unfavorable character. The Venezuelan panic is. perhaps, the best example of this. It produced a terrifying slump in the stock markets of New York and I,ondon. because of the fear of a war between England and the United States, this fear being caused by a clause in President Cleveland's mes sage to Congress. But the panic quickly passed as soon as it was realized that no war was possible. On the other hand, a panic may be caused by some Immense speculation or financial operation like the gold conspiracy of 18GB, culminating In Black Friday, and the panic of May tt, 1901. caused by the corner in Northern Pacific resulting from a clash between two grea* interests seeking its control. The word "panic" Is also used to cover a great com mercial depression like those of 1873 and 185)3. Using the word in its widest sig nificance, it will be instructive to review briefly the panics of Wall street, especially as regards the action of such financial mechanism as may be employed to check them. Twenty-Year Theory. There is a favorite theory which holds sway over the minds of many. It is the theory of the regular recurrence of panics. It is said that a big panic comes every twenty years, with a small panic midway In that period. For instance, there were panics in 1S18, 1837. 1857, 1873 and 18U3. These were panics on a national scale, de vastating the entire country. But there were smaller panics in 1826, 1848. 18G6 and 1884, these coming midway between the great convulsions of the twenty-year period. Thus on a large scale Is worked out one of the laws of the stock market. Whenever there has been a sharp fall In prices there follows a partial recovery that ends in another downward movement not quite so severe as the first. Likewise when there Is a boom it is followed by a reaction that gives place to another upward move ment, which, however, does not advance quite so far as the first. So with these al ternating periods of expansion and contrac tion, of boom and panic, "cycles" in busi ness, as they have been called, there Is thts same law at work. We have, first, several years of prosperity, and advancing prices, then a year or so of reaction, followed by another decade of activity, ending In a general collapse. Involving the business of the entire country. The commercial panics are usually of In ternational extent. It is found that every severe business crisis in the United States has either been preceded or followed, or Is accompanied, by panics in the leading countries of Burope. There are really no territorial lines In finance. We raise tariffs against foreign merchandise, but there is free trade In credit, and so closely affiliated are the principal markets of the world that a disturbance In one country Is sure to un settle the business of the others. But there are Wall street panics that scarcely cause a ripple on the surface of trade. Reference has already been made to Black Friday's panic, the result of Jay Gould's scheme to corner gold In 1800. This was probably the most sensational incident In Wall street's history. Even now, a full generation after the panic occurred. Black Friday, In Wall street terminology, 1s syn onymous with extreme excitement and dis aster. All other days of panic are com monly compared with that supreme experi ence of the street when men were fairly erased by the strain and excitement. But the story ot Black Friday has been so fre quently told that I need not repeat it here. Great Panics Compared. There are large family ressmhlssnes be tw?n panic*. That ?C US7 was the r?B those who look beneath the surface. Then I comes some sudden and unexpected calam ity that produces an explosion like a lighted match in a barrel of powder. Fear devel ops; confidence In men and in Institutions is shattered, runs on banks begin, hoarding of money sets in. prices of securities and commodities fall, firms fail, corporations go into the hands of receivers, factories close, workmen are discharged, and distress, pov erty and long depression ensue. It takes long to repair the Injury of such a disaster, and every panic is succeeded by years of stagnation. In which men are gradually gaining strength for further enterprise. Banks' Defense Plans. It will be asked whether Wall street has developed any mechanism to prevent or check panics. There Is such a mechanism, | but that It has not^been sufficient to pre ! vent panics Is seen from the fact that there I has been a big one every twenty years and a small one every Intervening ten years. There are those, however, who believe that with the concentration of the railroads, the industries and the banking power of the United States into a few hands the busi ness of the country has been established on so firm a foundation that It cannot now ! be shaken by a panic like that of 1H?3. It i Is held that the country lias outgrown the excesses and the weaknesses of its period of youth, and has now come into the strength and maturity of manhood. This opinion does not. however, coincide with that of one of our greatest bankers, who not long ago predicted that our next panlo would l>e a great commercial one. He did not. however, undertake to predict when such a panic would strike the country. But while Wall street has not been able to prevent panics it has a mechanism that lessens their evil effect. This mechanism Is supplied by the bank clearing house in its issue of loan certificates. As explained In a preceding article, the Issue of theiie certificates In time of panics has served l* a breakwater against disaster, saving bankj and merchants from failure. But if there Is another panic it is probable that they will not again be issued. In 1H93 Chicago Is sued no loan certificates, and It Is certain that New York. In issuing them, while It protected countless Institutions and firms from failure in a measure, at least, suffer ed thereby. In the place of the loan certifi cates the banks, now greatly strengthened in capital and resources, will, if occasion requires. Import gold to replenish depleted reserves, and will thus be able to stanH the strain of any severe demand which may come upon them In time of panic. The creation of the great banks and chains of banks, while these have not as yet been tested by the experience of adversity, has, it is believed, established a strong line of defense against the approach of disaster. The banks, banded together by ties ot com mon Interest, have on several occasions shown they were able, by the formation of a money pool, so to control the market as to check any ordinary Wall street panic. Undoubtedly It has been largely due to their conservatism that the liquidation of this year has been so gradual. That we shall always have our periods of expansion and contraction there can be little doubt, but as we develop In our national resources, growing stronger all the time, the periods of depression should become less frequent and shorter In duration. Danger Lessening. When a new town Is opened new soil has tj be turned, and malaria develops. This malaria frequently takes the form of alter nating days of chills and fever. Now. In the United States we have been for a cen tury or more creating a n^w country. We have settled on new lands. We have dug canals and built railroads. We have cut forests, spanned rivers with bridges.and planted on a new continent a new govern- - ment under new conditions of life. Is It any wonder that a financial malaria has de veloped that has taken the form of alternat ing periods of the fever of speculation and promotion and of the chills of doubt, of fear and of depression? But as the new town grows older, with a more settled state of affairs, with scientific sanitation and boards of health, the malaria gradually di? appears. In like manner so the nation ma tures, financial sanitation, In a manner, la established, more wholesome conditions of the markets are developed, and tha dancer of panlo diminishes or when It arrives Its power for mischief la less. Panic will un doubtedly Ions be a regular feature of our financial history, but the markets ought, with tha Increasing strength of tha country, to recover more quickly from the effects. ?I8KNO ft PRATT.