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#."?<> REWARD FOR ANY I.N FORMATION CON rprnfnc party who polsaoed rov f?mr 'IWnd nc?.i*jr last. D. FRANK PARK Bit, 20 R I. are. J.i27-3t Need Window QSass? ?We'll cut it any *1 ze you require and quote yoa in in! mum price. See us at once. K [ Murnhv Co Tnr H08??t.n.w. J?2T-?J aow at 5:30 dall> All the old riHif iweils is a coat of ? Graff-tonic Roof Faint to make it last for many years lonjrer. Roof repairing and tinning by experts cf l ?mr eM erience. Grafton ?& Son, $ffit^/E2&.Teo J?27-10d ' Our MergenthaSer Machines ? ? frive us a decided advantage In netting body ? ? type. We are In a position to save you ? ? money on hII sorts of printing work. All ? * we n*k Ik an opportunity to submit a bid. Judd & BetweSEer, inc.. The Big Print Shop, 420-22 11 th st. Ja2T-H'd Iron = C2ad Benefits Roofs. I: is by far the moat durable and effective of ioof p.?lu:s. Fully guaranteed. ?? f'OTTFR Expert In 711 G St. n.w. J 1 ' Roof Work. Tlionc Main 3710. 3p27 iM A Reminder, T,our ,n ,nnel iivvuuuumju vii o 1 be longfT- it s out of tune tbe less satisfactorily it tunes tip again. Order <iur erprrta to tune your instrument at regular In tervals. Ja27 4?<l GRIMES' 1*1 A NO STORK. 1212 F st. Busy KK1'A"UN,;_lHeating!P Bants ?But not too busy to put your heating plant in perfect condition without a minute's delay. Biggs Heating Co., .1*26 Gd Roofs Kept Newlike. - \ little attention now ami then will keep the roof in perfect condition. Consult us. ( *Vir*riiir?nl Ru?f Co.. I J. I>ono?an. Mgr. ^ IllK ctJ J loS Ci st.n.w. Formerly 1333 F n.w. Ja2ti fid Consult in a bout liutcihiinison McCarthy.1 ?,|umb,n? rep"lr?- We'" v * i save you money. 520 10TH ST. ja26-?d WHKN Y?M NKKD M?l.N'KY ON SHORT NOTICE APPLY TO C. A. BAKF.R, 30-52, 1110 F ST J.24 if 'PHdNK M :?17. Flu REPAIR!NO MY SPECIALTY. Skillful Workmen "Square Deal" Price#. H. PERCY SCOVILLE, 508 II flth St. N. W. Telephone North 3(578. J.?24-tf Tell Colberts A,^" Roof. lieing a practical tinner lie guarantees tlie raost expert repair work. Let us estimate. 1i Practical Tinner, 812 14th st. n.w. u i in, stove Kxpert, Phone Maiu 2739. 1a24 *Id No extra charge for exams. 14 j-eara' practice. BFA M KYFSIOHT SPECIALIST, lL>lL-,/^U J, 7Q8 13th St N.W 1a20 00t-5 b Tl'HOFF A CO.. JEWELERS AND OPTICI ans, 1702 14th st. n.w. We have been doing repairing foi over 12 years, and to our knowledge has proven satisfactory. Just give us a trial. All work warranted, called for and delivered. nol2-90t.5 a"perfect pen FOR BOOKKEEPERS. * PFUFFCT RESERVOIR COMMERCIAL PENS'* write 1,30 words to each dip and give bo^kkeep trt *0 minutes' continuous service. All ntyies; t! 00 per loo. box of 25 by mail, 30c. Sample sent fro on request. CDEVOY PHILLIPS CO. Patentee, and Maker*. CoiHlirilJiTlV ACe1ir. nt Bsrnrh's Cigar and . ^IM11SJ!..S?IL9 XcwKstand. 931 9th ?t. Jnllm-10 ~ COAL. COAL. T? T GR ACT Highest grade coal on market ' ' c'? at low prices. Yard and offlce cor Ith and F n.e. 'Phoue Fast 233. dell-9Ot.0 SPIRITUALISM. MR K KK1.BR. IMS H ST.. CAN BE COXSIT.TKD .lall,T ami Sunday on any ;uatter?. Telephone malu ?.^21 K. Ja27-2t* CHURCH NOTICES. IMTAR1AS. ALL BOLLS' CHCRCH. 14111 ST. COR. OK 1, at. n.w.. Iter. t'ljeses (J. It. Pierce, minister.? t#:43 a.m.. Sunday seh.<ol ami class fur tbe com paiatlre study of religion. for adults: 10 a m.. I nlty study class; 11 a.m.. inoruing service, ser mon by the minister: 7 p.m.. Young People's RellKlous Cnion. meeting in the lecture rvoiii; 8 p.m.. evening service, f..nrth in etiurse of ser mons on "The Exodus: A Story of the Soul's Pilgrimage"?IV. "Compassing the Mountain." All seats free at evening service*. Ja27 2t PALMISTRY. HUE. BIT A. THE WORLD'S GREATEST PALM 1st and astrologer, now holding receptions at 723 i?tb st. n.w. Ja4 2St* Fee. 25c. and 50c. XIA DA MK CATHERINE^ WASHINGTON'S Fa" vorite palmist and card reader. 010 New York are.: readings. 25 aud RO cents. ?e22-tf COMMISSION MERCHANTS. GOLDEN & COMPANY, Commission Merchants. I! UTTER. EGGS, CHEESE. POULTRY LIVE STOCK. DRESSED MEATS, etc. 922 to 928 La. Ave. PACKING HOUSE AND LARD REFINERY ALEXANDRIA CO.. VA. SUBSTANTIAL PROFIT REALIZED. Eastern Dispensary and Casualty Hos pital Benefited by Luncheons. Th.* board of lady managers of the East ern Dispensary and Casualty Hospital. 708 Massachusetts avenue northeast, yester day afternoon completed the serving of a series of three benefit luncheons at Na tional Rifles' Armory. (; street between 9th and 10th streets The first floor of the building Thursday, Friday ami Satur day frum noon until nearly 3 o'clock was crowded with patrons who seemed glad of the opportunity to aid the institution and to partake of the excellent repast that was provided. At the close of the luncheon yesterday It was estimated that a profit of about lloo had been made. The lady managers expressed their thanks both to the patrons of the luncheons and those whose donations made the affair profitable. Tho officers of the board are as follows: President. Mrs. S J. Vaughnn; first vice president. Mrs. Alexander MiKenzle; sec ond vice president. Mrs. M. I. Weller; third vice president, Mrs J Oatcheii: fourth vice president. Mrs Beuuj . fifth vice presi dent, Mrs \\ ; Hams; recording secretary. Mrs M M Mitchell; corresponding secre tary. Mrs. It H Harn-s; treasurer, Mrs. C 11ibbs The members of the board w. h others Interested in the work, making * i'or;is of about seventy-five persons as sl*:ed in preparing and serving the lu'ncii ??'?ns A number of young ladies from the cistern section or the city acted as wait resses. There were twenty-three tables, Includ .ng one at which confectionery and an other at which cigars were sold." A hostess presided at each table Friends of the Casualty Hospital, it U 1 explained, are working very hard to In crease its facilities and furnish It In an adequate manner. Donations of articles of furniture and other materials are being so licited The public has been Invited to \isit the build rig and Inspect Its equipment. MAN OVERBOARD Rescued by Schooner Crew When He Was About Exhausted. As the schooner Cherubim, a well-known trader to this port, was on her way up the bay a day or two ago with every sa'l spread to the breere, William tilllett, one of the crew, was struck by the boom of the foresail and knocked into the water. The vessel was making rapid headway and a heavy sea was running at the time of the accidentv bi.t Capt. Marion Wooiford brought the vessel's head to tbe wind, low ered a boat and reached the man in time to save him. although he was nearly ex hausted. The accident happened ofT .Sharp s island, at a point where the winds have full sweep down the bay. The man lost his rubber boots and his breath when he went into the COM water; the schooner lost time but this was all the damage done, for the man was saved unhurt. mm M GRIDIRON CLUB'S ANNUAL DINNER ! (Continued From First Page ) manager was summoned, and after an an gry parley, in which he denied that there was anything the matter with the soup, the persistent member demanded that the sjup kettle l>e brought. i So tlie great soup boiler was brought up from the kitchen and exhibited. The now thoroughly aroused club member seized a fork and stirred the kettle, dragging there from a manikin. "Aha!" he cried. "A House insurgent." So the mystery of the bid soup was solved. The elaborate program of entertainment began early in the feast. A member of the club gallops frantically around the plaza, carrying suit case, hat box and a camera. "Here, what do you think you are do ing?" angrily demanded President Fearn. Don't stop me! Don't stop me! I've got to write twenty thousand words attacking the canal and I've only got ten minutes to stay. I'm Poultney Bigelow." At intervals during the evening other strange figures appear in the plaza. A tall person comes in carrying great bundles or stage money. Throws It around prodigal ly. Lights cigar with bill. Gives it to guests. Tears some; scatters bits around. "Here, what does this exhibition mean?" "Why, I am giving an imitation of the isthmian canal commission." Another follows, carrying typewriting ma chine "I hear they are digging a canal here. I'm here to do business, and I should do a lot of it. I'm agent for the finest type writer ever Invented." "You can't do any business here. What do we want with typewriters?" "What do you want with typewriters? Just listen to that. Why. from all I've seen and read, typewriters are the principal In struments used in digging isthmian canals." The Canal in Mars. Big man with long telescope appears and says he Is observing the canals on Mars. "What about the canals on Mars?" "Don't you know why they are such a success? Because there are no transconti nental railroads on Mars." A "press agent" looking for a Job de scribes his qualifications. "But can you write?" "Write? Naw! What's the use? The Secretary of War does ail the writing.'' The initiation of two newly elected mem bers of the club. Messrs. Arthur J. Dodge and W. W. Jermane. furnished the basis for a clever skit The chairman of the commit tee announced: "The Gridiron Club has elected two new members They are distinguished in many ways as molders of public opinion, and I understand that as such they are agreeable to the administration.. They are timid, obedient and docile." Before they can be presented three men rush in escorting a sable person attired in a tattered army overcoat and barefooted. "We have found the nigger In the wood pile. He claims asylum in the Gridiron Club." "Well, who Is he?" "Why. don't you recognize? It's Morales, who has jumped a hot job In Santo Do mingo. and Is here looking for a soft Job." "What can he do?" "He's a revolutionist, and can make a new government In a minute." At tills point another section of the com mittee comes rushing in with another can didate amid much confusion. "Hold on, there! Hold on! That fellow's a ouitter!" "But. who on earth Is this person?" "Haven't you read the message of the President to Congress which says: 'For tunately, a new ruler lias sprung up in Santo Domingo?'' "I'll have none of this gang. I want Ltoaa-dde presa agents, " says the chairman. -f. Two members dressed as naval officers appear. "We have here two suppress agents. They will suppress anything. They are genuine $10,000 beauties." "Suppress agents? They are even more In line with my policy than press agents would be." Member comes In with lot of red pao^r tape, such as they throw at carnivals. Stands in plaza and throws it around in discriminately. "What do you think you are doing?" "Why, I'm supplying the canal diggers with something that is used more than anything else in their work?red tape." The two Initiates are presented and are addressed by the official roaster. "For seven or eight years you, gentle men. have been wandering aimlessly about in the capital of your country. You have trapped sparrows when you should have gone gunning for bear. A careful lnves'l gatlon of your records by the most dill gent among us has failed to disclose any thing you have done which would recom mend you for election as Gridironers. Bui the time has come when we must add more names to our list. Before you can be re ceived into full fellowship you must an swer correctly the questions 1 shall pro pound In the name of tMe club, i.et your responses be prompt and loud." "I>o you. and each of you, believe in tne infallibility of the national administra tion?" Each of the candidates?"I do." (Cuckoo whistle sounds.) "Do you. and each of you. solemnly prom, ise to refer to the Speaker of the House as a tribunal of the people?" Each of the candidates?"! do." (Cuckoo whistle sounds.) "Do you, and each of you. solemnly prom ise to denounce the Senate as a traitorous cabal of corporation hirelings?" Each of the candidates?"! do." Cuckoo whistle sounds.) They are pronounced eligible, each is se curely gagged amid the laughter of the spectators and led away. The musical features of the. evening were numerous and highly enjoyable, hitting off public men and measures to the tunes of popular song*. President Roosevelt was the subject of one song, a bit of gentle irony, in which the fact was deplored that the Hebrews didn't have a Roosevelt to lead them a quicker passage through the Red sea; that the fathers didn't have him to help win independence in a Jiffy, and the like. The good-natured "roast" wound up, however. In a kindly chorus, which ran: "So good lurk to you no<l good bcaltb to you. We all give you a welcome beie. With a loud huzsa and a hip. hurrah, Now all J'lln In a rousing ebcer." President Roosevelt laughed heartily at all the "cracks" made at him and the ad ministration and took the good-natured toasting in the spirit it was Intended. One of the hits of the evening's enter tainment was a meeting of the Isthmian cana] commission on the plaza at i anama. Seated around a table, they planned out the work with much dialogue. Enter a messenger shouting: "Cablegram for the Gridiron Club! Cablegram for the Gridiron Club!" Chairman reads: "Gridiron Club. Panama: "Just learned that canal commission was kidnaped by unknown parties, supposed to be in employ of government, placed on transport and forced to go to Panama. Should be there by this time. Great ex citement prevails." The official policeman goes out Jo round up the commissioners and meantime the board discusses the employment of labor. A typewriter is hired first, then a chef, a valet and a manicurist. The board com plains loudly at being compelled to come to Panama; one member had a dinner engage ment, another a poker game and a third wanted to run over to Broadway. A Bunch of "Chiefs." The big policeman comes back with a bunch of "chiefs"?there Is a chief com missary, chief sanitary officer, chief ainuse nient provider, chief engineer, etc.?each wearing numerous medals. Their qualifi cations are discussed, disclosing some rath er remarkable recommendations for serv ice. The chief engineer got his medals for cleaning the street* of Washington?"by praying for rain." The chltt commtwry got bis for outfitting n congressional funeral party he had provided seventy-two cases of cham pagne and six ham sandwiches. 1 ne chief sanitary officer won his by doing away with the dangers of Philadelphia's water supply?he had caused the breweries to double their capacity. The chief amuse ment provider had a plan for amusing the canal digger; ping-pong, authors and check ers In the plaza, and faro, roulette and cock fights on the side. The canal expert was then called and bragged that he had no use for facts, but leaned 'strongly to theories. He unfolded his plan for doing away with the Culebra cut. "I propose to build forty-seven airships, each one mile long. Then I propose to build a nice commodious canal and hitch it to the airships. That will obviate any of the cuts. It will be perfectly level and will accommodate the largest ships." "But how wtll you get your ships there?" "Sir, I am talking now as a canal ex pert. If you wish my views as a marine ex pert you must give me another retainer." At this moment a digger who very much resembled President Roosevelt enters and tells the others to clear out. "I?will?dig it?myself." he declares, and proceeds to sing: "Every morning at half-pant nine the I'rlsldint gets Mr. Sbonts in line. "For Congress." nez he, "1 don't give a flg; there's a canal to be dug and 1 want yez to dig." chori:s. "Then it's dig, ye tarrlers, dig, dig. And It's work all day In the good old way, \Vld a pick and a shovel and a horse and a dray. Then It s dig ye tarrlers, dig." (Spoken.) "Ah, there, Mr. Tawney, bring on yer appropriation. Forty millions a month Is money well spent. "Put out the ag, Casey! Blast! Fire! All over!" "There's Mister Aldrlch, a dommed fine man; fer to l>eat the Dutch tariff he's on Uegant plan. The PrlBldlnt sex to him, 'Don't talk so big, tfeere'a a canal to be dug uu* I want yet to dig.' t "Then it's dig, ye tarrlers, dig," etc. (Spoken.) Be gob, the canal's sprung a leak. Casey, bring on a Spooner amend ment fer to shtop up the hole." "Oh, Sinltor Nelson might have been king. If he'd stayed up In Norway until last spring; On the tariff he's as stubborn as Kelly's pig, but ?ben a canal's to be dug ye should aee lilm dig. "Then It's dig, ye tarrlers, dig," etc. (Spoken.) "WhatVaste paper's that ye're usin' fer rammln', Casey? Mr. Pou:tney Bigelow's report, sez you? All right. "Then it's dig, ye tarrlers, dig," etc. "The canal will be dug and dug quite soon: the first vessel will go through by the light of the moon, \Vith Tafi lu the clnter, fer to keep her trim, and the Prisldlnt shoutla' as he looks at him. It's done, ye tarrlers, done. It's done, ye tar rlers, done. And w :? worked all day In the good old way. with a pick and a shovel and a horse and a dray, li s done, ye tarrlers, doue." The lights in the hall go out and a stere optlcon throws a picture of the completed canal on the screen. The club decides to decorate the plaza with statues, establishing a "Statuary Hall like that which. In the Capitol, interests and ? inspires thousands of tourists every day. I.ike that one, we purpose to give each state the privilege of submitting the figures of its two most Illustrious eons," announces the chairman. Says a member: "I should like to nominate for this new Statuary Hall one of our most distinguish ed presidential possibllites, the Hon. Will lam H. Taft. He comes from the state of Shaw, of Root and of Fairbanks." "What state Is that, pray?" "The state of Suspense, a very populous community just now." Mr. Nicholas Ix>ngworth Is proposed but declared Ineligible on the ground that he Is "no longer In a state of suspense." The "State of Expectancy" was repre sented by Speaker Cannon. Senator Gor man was declared to be out of that state. The "State of Elation" was represented by William Loeb "'because his day's work at the White House was over;" the "State of Disgust" by Senator Newlands because Ne vada received only 03 per cent of the Irri gation fund, and so on. To the air of "Why Don't You Try" * topical song was sung, one verse of which ran: "All the members of the cabinet show energy and tfklll; See them try. Reaching high. If our 1'iesident won't take the place next term, somebody will; They'll all apply By and by. If you Peek to Interview them f hey are silent as the grave; You must wait At the gate. But their voices they will raise in a lot o 1 dif ferent ways In the year of nineteen-elght. "It is hard to cnoose between them? Wilson promises pure food; Moody says that he'll endeavor To keep the trusts from boibg rude. Bat If Root can flght our battles With a modus vi-ven-di, Our hero he will surely be Why don't you try? Why don't you try?'* Secretary Taft was the subject of a rol licking topical song of three verses, the chorus being "Oh, Billy Taft! He's full of subtle cralt; With politics and schemes and things?trusti? and foxy rings. For you we love, always true we'll prove As star* that now shine above us. Oh, Biily Taft." A Doleful Refrain. One of the songs of the evening repre sented the correspondents describing Wash ington In the summer season. A doleful, sieepy, yawning refrain ran: "Gee! but this ia a lonesome town; Nothing to do but to ban* arouud; Everything looks dreary. Everything Is weary; Member*, senators will not atay, (lablnet officers far away. With Roosevelt gone to Oyster Bav. Gee! but this is a lonesome town!" A couple of tourists wander into the plaza and converse with a waiter. Saye one: "My friend and I think we would like to j have a Panama drink. What are the prin cipal drinks served here?" "High balls, low balls, cocktails, bottled beer, draught beer, apple jack and, very seldom, lemonade." "These natives seem to have been touched by a civilizing influence. Bring two high balls." I "Queer old place, isn't it? They tell me it used to be headquarters "for the pirates." "Used to be? I guess they haven't all moved away yet." "Perhaps not, but they are getting It other ways now." "So this is where they are going to dig that canal. Have they decided whether It will be lock or sea level?" "It is going to be unlock." "Unlock what?" "L'nlock the treasury." "Those Insurgents have been making a great fuss up In Washington, haven't they?" "Yes, but what did it amount to? Those fellows shuffle cards all day long and never turn a Jack." "There was .a gentleman here yesterday who said Mr. Root was doing unexpectedly well as Secretary of State." "That Is quite true. Mr. Root's success has surprised everybody. He may be called the Shakespeare of diplomacy. He gets the reputation and Bacon does the work." "Begging your pardon, gentlemen, but did you know that Gates is here now?" "No. Is he? He's a great plunger. I saw him bet a gnillion on a horse race once." x "Bet a million?" "Yet, bet a million." "Begging your pardon, gentlemen, but d ? he win?" "No." "Then he lost?" "No." "Begging your pardon, gentlemen, but I'm all excited. What did happen?" "Nothing. You see. his press agent for got to tell the newspapers about It." "Did you notice the swarm of magazine writers and graft exposers in Washington before you left?" "Yes, I saw a lot of them. Heard Lin coln StefTens was in the lot." "Oh, yes, he's there. He's got a great scbeme for the good of the nation, too." "What Is It?" "He's going to abolish lb* Unite* *MtM ' "That will be quite a job. won't it?" "Well, he doesn't think he can get it done before next July." "Begging your pardon, did 'Co'.. Pete Hep burn come down with your party?" "No. Col. Hepburn was booked for pas sage, but at the last minute he had to draw the Hepburn bill for railway rate regulation." "Yes, Pete Hepburn is to be the father of the railway rate bill." "Begging your pardon, gentlemen, the same way he was father of the Panama canal ?" "I was talking to a beet sugar man the other da " "Begging your pardon, gentlemen, but is that beet sugar infant industry still tak ing up time in Washington?" "Indeed it is." "Gee. It must need a shave by this time." "They tell me that Eiihu Root is -he heir j apparent to the presidential nomination In 1908." "Perhaps the will isn't made yet." The Guide to Washing-toil. The souvenirs of the dinner were small Gridiron shovels, and an illustrated "Grid iron Guide to Washington." These were some of the descriptions in the guide: "Those who are Interested in Engineer ing Problems should not Fall to Visit the Mills Building. In the Rear Part of this Structure on the Sixth Floor Shonts is Digging a Canal and Bishop is Writing One. The Problerti is to see How Long They can Keep at It. On Leaving the Mills Building visitors may Profitably Call at the Smithsonian Institution where Prof. Lang ley is Financing a Flying Machine." "The Navy Department is a Massive Granite Building with a French Roof and a French Secretary. It is the Headquar ters of the National Civil Service Reform Association, pro tem. Friends of Good Government are Respectfully Invited to Step in and see an Office run by a Man who for Many Years has been Telling Peo ple how one Ought to Run." "Post Office Department. Passing Rap idly through Postmaster General Coftel you's Ante Room we come to the Headquar ters of the Republican National Committee. It has direct private Telephone Communi cation with the White House." "The Pension Office is Supposed to be the Ugliest Building in Washington. The Out side Frieze Represents the Unending Pro cession of Decapitated Commissioners Pass ing into Private Life. The Inside Freeze is for Old Soldiers and Inaugural Balis." "The White House?This is a School for the Education of Senators and Representa tives as to their Duty to their Country. The Head-Master is Mr. T. Roosevelt, A.B., A.M., LL.D., Litt. D. (Harvard. 1SS0). There is a Gymnasium Connected with the Institution. The Motto Is? "Hit First and Frequent." "Cosmos Club.?Formerly the Residence of Mrs. Madison. It Has an Insomnia Cure Annex. Many Notable Scientific Men Sleep in this House. Opposite the Cosmos Club Is the office of Henry Gassaway Davis, who is Unique in Washington for Never Having been in Politics. "Not far Away is the Metropolitan Ciub. The Commissioner of Internal Revenue Re ports the withdrawal of 105,000,iWO Gallons of Whisky for Rectification during the Last Fiscal Year, and 1,500,000 Gallons for Bottling in Bond." Among the "Rules of Etiquette" in the Guide were these: The President ranks as King. The Vice President, however, is not Heir Apparent. Invitations from' the President are Com mends . His Criticisms of all Matters. Pub lice and Private, must be Respected. News paper Correspondents Study his Wishes and are Guided by them. The Lower Classes make the first Call upon Those Above them. This Rule is Rig idly Enforced. The Secretary of the Treas ury, for example, is Expected to Call upon Mr. J. Plerpont Morgan. Congressman with families will Refrain from Taking Cake and Fruit Home to the Children. Loaded Revolvers Strapped to the Hip are Permitted only to Private Secretaries. Members of the Cabinet are on View every Tuesday and Friday. They must not be Spoken to Without Written Permission. WANTED.?To OnwpMl with House Insurgent*?ObJert Matrimony. Apply to Carlos Morales, Santo Domingo. The menu was as follows: MKNTT. Rouird Bay*. Con*>raiao princes*. radishes snlr?vl n:i?s. celery. Fried smelts, Mure tartare. Potatoes Parisienne. ( QeitiatKTP. Supreme of capon truffled. sau<.> Peiigtieux.* Ne w grot' a jK*as Terrapin a In Maryland. (IrWhrw pttnch Philadelphia ?qna1m, roasted and stuffed. Sa!a ! In season. Id* In 'iocj- fsrtns. Petit* fottrs. cur*-. Saul ernes. M.ppl A Chun.k.n While S.- i| l?w> lmi?-rl?l Unit. Ap.dllnaris Water Cigars and t^igareites. Speeches we;? made during the evening | by President Roospv^'t. the French ambaf | sartor, Mark Twain/* So retarv Hoot and J Secretary I aft. The rule of the club, whi<?h ? forbids the presence of reporters at club , dinners, precluded a report of the spee^hea j ?more the^ pity, for they were very intor : esting. Wit. sarcasm and a wholesome touch of good politics marked the several 1 efforts. The Guest List. The guest list follows: The President ?>f the t utted Sta'es. Pugene K. Allen. N.me. Alaska Mllion i: A lies. Washington. I* ('. Xelaon W Aldricb. senator from Rhode ls; r ) \\ illiam B. Allimni. senator from Iowa Jewell II. Anbere St. Ix?uis <;i )... l?en,?>crst. 1-rank N. Rarkesduie. Pennsylvania railioad. John C. Bates. lieutenant general I". S arm} Perry Belmont. New York. Charles G. Bennett, secretary of the I', s senate William T Bingham, \?- Vt>rk Sun. II. S. HIr.< k. New York. Arthur PlanHiard. Washington, !> C George W. Boyd. Pennsylvania railroad 1 rank P. Brandegee. Mint;from Conmctlcut j Royal B Bradford, r.al admiral. I S. naty David .?'osIh1i Brewer. associate justice. I H Su preme Court. Charkl V. Brooke r. N. Y . N. H & I! R. R. Franklin K flrotfk*. representative froui Colorado S. ritomas Brown. Washington. I>. c Walter A. Brown. Washington I> (' T E. Byrnes. N Y . V II & H It. It Joseph G. Cannon, speaker ?>f the House of Rrp. | resentativrs. W. S. Carroll Washington. I?. ('. Thomas H. Carter, senator from Montana J<?<iulti P rasaku?. ?be Mexican amba<ador, Frederick Chapin. Washington. I? c Paul Charlton. Washington. 1>. C. H. W. Obllds. Yellowstone Park Moscm E. clapp, senator from Minnesota. I Samuel I Clemen* 'Mark Twalm, New York. [ William F Clemmet. Boston. Robert C. dowry. Western (Tnlon Telegraph 0% Warren J. Coffin. Washington, I>. C. Robert J. Collier. Collier^ Weekly. George II Cortelyou. Po tmaster General J. o. If. Cosgrave. Everybody's Magazine. Charles'A. Culberson, senator from Texas. J. It. Culp. S.mtliern railway. Charles C. Cnrths. Chicago. George II Daniels, New York Central railroad. Walter S. Dickey. Kansas City. Mo. J. P. Pol liver, senator from Iowa John F Pry den. senator from New Jersey. J. S. IJunnigan. San Franchco F\aminer. Addison G. I>uBols. Washington. I>. C. Frwl T. Dubois, senator from Idaho. John W. Pwight. r? precoma five from New York. W. J. Dwyer, Waahlngton. I>. C. John II Kdwards, Washington. I>. C George F. Klllott, br gad'.fr general, t S M. 0. J. H. Kt111, Savannah News, V. G. Fischer, Washington. l> C. tJeurge K. I'hmlng. Washlugton, D. C. II. W. FulVr, c * o. railway. W. E. Gable. Pittsburg Tin e . George It. Caither. Baltimore. Md Jacob II. (la I linger, seuator from N>w llnmpaitlre. Gllson Gardner. Enterprise New?pai>er Arsin istlon. John W. <iates. New ^ork. Harvey Clven, Washington, I>. C. Adolph Gosling. Phihidelphla. Jolin L. Grltflths, I". S. consul general at I-irer* pool. Isauor Haldensteln, New York. Gecrge II. Ilam. C-anadlan Pae rtc railway. Ge<arge F'. Mamllton. Washington. I> C. Waller I\. llamly. Washington. P. I)r. Walters. Ilarban, Wasblngtm, P. 0. Samuel II. I lard wick. S*?u?hem railway, Robert N. Harper, Washington. P. c George II Hariies, Washington, I>. C. (George Harvey, Harper's Weekly. E. B. Haskell. Newton. Mass. F. M. Hatch. Honolulu. John Calvin Hemphill, Charleston News and Courier. "William P. Hepburn. Representative fro.n Iowa. William It. llih&s, \Vatshlngton. P. C. Frank H# Hitchcock, first assistant postmaster general. I)r. P. Percy Hickilng. Wash'ngton, IV C Joseph H. Hoadley. New York. James C. II.mc. Washington. P. Edward M. Hoopes, Morning News, Wilmington, Del. Beale It. Howard. Washington, P. C. George K. Howard. Washington. P C. John J. Howlev. Washington. l>. i*. William II. Hunter, Washington Post. M. JE. Ingalls, Cincinnati. Charles M. Irelan. Washington, P. C. A. It. Israel, Washington. P. C. Dr. H. L B. Johnson, Washington, D. < J. J. Jnsscrand, the French ambassador. Victor Kauffinacn. Washington, P. C. I). J. Kaufman, Washing! ?n. I). C. A. B. Kilti?*dge. senator from South Dakota Philander C. Knox, senator from Pennsylvania. William P. Kellogg. Washington, P. <J. Wilton J. J ambert. Washington, P. C. Charles; E. IJttlefield, representative from M;i ne. ? <Tbarles T Lincoln. F1 lt? no, <>kla. Charles I.Inklns, Washington, D. C. William Ix>eb, Jr.. se<retary to the Presblent. Robert Mack ay. 8uccess. Brockhclst Matbewson, Collier's Weekly. James Martin, New ^ ?irk Tribune. Dr. Thomas L. Macdonald. Washington. 1?. C. Dr. P. J Macdonald, Sprlngfleid, Mass. J II. Maddy. New York. Henry May, Washington. D. C. K. S. Marlow. Washington, I>. C. Win. D. Muridel 1, Boston. S.in>?iel P. Mandell, Boston Transcript. I "sal 11. MeClsrter, Newark. N. J. Robert S. McCormlck, Fnlted States ambassador to France. James B. McCreary. senator from Kentucky, William B. McKinlev, rci?resentntlv? from Il linois. R A. McNab, Montreal Star. Lynn R. Meeklns. Baltimore Herald. Benj. S Minor, Washington. D. C. W. Henderson Moses. Washington, D. C William D. Murphy. New York. Allison Nallor, Jr., Washington, D. C. Francis G. Newiands, senator from Nevada. Knute Nelson, senator fr*>m Minnesota. Meredith Nicholson, Indianai>olls. S. N. D. North, director of the census. Frank B. Noyes, Chicago Record-IleraId. Tlxeodore W. Noyes. Washington Star. I Oscar T. Noyes, Washington, D. C. Daniel O'Hare. Washington. D C. William J. Oliver, Kuoxville. Tenn. Jesse Ovorstreet, representative froio Indiana. Arthur J. Parsons. Washington, D. C. Charles M. Pepper. Washington. I). C. Robert S. Person. Washington. 1?. O. W. I^eon Pepperman, Panama. L. A. Pradt, assistant attorney central. | Erskine Itamsay. Birmingham. Ala. ! W. Harry man Rapley, Washington, D. C. Leonard Kelbold. New Y'ork. William II. Iteis. New York. James B. Reynolds, assistant secretary of the treasury. Clarence B. Rheein. Washington. D. C. William A. Rld^rds, commissioner of land of fice. Herman Ridder. New Y'ork Staats Zeltung John II. Roche. Baltimore. Md. William F. Roberts, Washington, D. C. Ellhu R<n,t. Secretary of State Nathan B. Scott, senator from West Virginia Ellery Sedgwick. American Illustrated Niag??*ine. John A. Slenker of Jodee. William II. Self, the Times. Pittsburg. Edgar I). Shaw. Washington Times. William WlHougiibv Sharp. New Y'ork. T. P. Shoots, chairman Panama canal commis sion. Seth Shepard. chief Justice Court of Appeals James 8. Sherman, representative from New Y'ork. Clarence Slirlver. Baltimore. Dr. John C. Simpson. Washington. D. C. John A. SlMeber. Judge PubUnhin* Company. Charles Emory Smith. Philadelphia Press. W. A. Smith, Washington. D. C. C. G. Smith. New York. John C. Sj>ooner. senator from Wisconsin. Frederick C. Stevens, Washington. D. c Fred C. Stevens, representative from Minnesota. E. J. Stellwagen. Washington. I). C. Frank B. Swiggard. Washington. I). C William II. Taft. Secretary of War. Rush Taggart. New Y'ork. John G. Ttiomt>?on, assistant attorney general. J. Selwin Tait, Washington. I). C. James A. Tawnev. representative from Minnesota. Jackson Tinker. New York Press. E. B. Town send. Waslilngton. 1?. C. Charles A. Tosvne, representative from New York. Arthur M. Travers, Washingloti, I>. C. Richard W. TVlvr, Washington. I>. C. C. M. Van Ha mm. the World. New York J. A. Van Orsdel, Cheyenne, Wyom. George L. VanBlbber. BeJair. Md. Leo Vogel, the minister from Switzerland. Hugh C. Wallace. WasMng^on, I). C. B. II. Warner. Washington. D. C. William Warner, senator from Missouri Arthur Warren, Boston Herald. Merrill Watson. New York. H. O. Weaver, Washlngt n. I). C. John J. Welsh, New York Jotin R. Williams. Scrauton. Pa. John Skeltou Williams, Richmond. Va. Stevenson A. WiHiamstMi, B'lalr. Md. James Wilson, Secretary of Agriculture. Patient in Serious Condition. TVflltam H. Humphrey, sixty-two yenr* old. was tak??n to the Casualty Hospital last night from h'.s home, at <StO Morton place northeast, to be treated for lllners caused by his having swallowed a quantity of wood alcohol. It was stated at the hos pital at an early hour this morning that the patient was In a serious condition. Knights of Columbus Elects Officers. Announcement has been made that at tii? . regular monthly meeting of the chapter, held Friday evening last, the following of ficers were elected for the ensuing year: T. M- Ring, chairman; E. J. Maloy, vice chairman; Dr. W. B. Daly, secretary; Ar thur Small, treasurtr, and T. B. Nolan, warden. The annual meeting of the Knights or Columbus Building Company was held in Alexandria, Va., on January 12, and the following officers were elected for the en suing year; Edw. P. Harrington, president; B. L. Grove, vice president; J. Vlnc?nt Coughlan, secretary, and Ada in A. Wesch ler, treasurer.