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A local man the other day Inquired of
It wife as to the whereabouts of his winter veproat. which, though somewhat worn, vas. In his estimation. Rood for more wear ttid tear. The lady gazed at him for a moment and then answered: "Why. that oat was not fit to wear, and besides I was !red ->f seeing it on you. so I gave It to a nan the other day for putting In several '>?<!-< of coal The husband contemplated :1s wife for a moment and then si Id: "Well, he fa-ni'.v is Just out JT?, for 1 had five new rlsp bills In the lns.de pocket of that coat." "Don't worry about those bills." continued ils wife, "I have not been searching in your -ockets i,>r the last steen years for nothing. Vou can Just pledge u few mere of those ?ills that the man who put In the coal did iot get them." He made a face, but he plcA< (1 up his light coat and marched out ?f the house determined to put his money a the right place hereafter. * * ?: * Son..> :.o called the. attention of Herber* Hjt: im. librarian of the Congressional 1,1 >rary. t some new book recently published and a?ked how he liked It. "I haven't read It." replied Mr. Putnam. "Not read It!" was the astonished reply, why. It was written by a friend, if not i relative, of yours." That makes no difference," remarked the librarian, "I never get time to read books." - ? ? p _ 4t * Senator Blackburn tells a story of the lays when itlddleberger was a senator from Virginia which recalls the late Senator Harris of Tennessee. AM these senators were then members of the committee on District of Columbia, and there was a fran hUe bill of tome kind pending, over which :here was some contention. It was referred to a subcommittee of which Riddleberger, Harris and another senator were members. There were two reports. Klddleberger maK ng the minority report. The bill was re .erred to another subcommittee, ltiddle iierger being the man reappointed, with wo different senators, and again he made a minority report. When the question aanie up as to what should be done with ?h* bill Senator Harris said, in his precise ind emphatic- manner: "Mr. Chairman, X move that this bill l>o igaln referred to a subcommittee and that hat s.i:n ? >n:mlttee shall consist of tiie sen tor from Virginia. I make this suggestion n ord- i to ascertain If the senator from Vlrg:: a n agree with himself." ***** Two l;i ? i ? < and a gentleman, sitting at re of tl many tables In a lunch room the yther <la\ while waiting for their order vere . is-slng anatomy. The young man lid not . .line in for any of the attention of the onlookers, mostly women, who were in terested In the gray gown of one and in the and-.-mbi "<dered Jatvanese blue siik waist ? >f the other. Dick.'' said the one in the hand-em T aide red Japanese blue silk waist, "had the courage to tell me last week that wo man's heart Is smaller than that of man." \_nd she looked askance at the lady ltl gray, who In turn looked reproachfully at the young man. But he supported the glancc with Spartan bravery, and was not moved. "Oh, you are wrong," the lady in gray -uUd to him: "truly, you are." "No, 1 am not." was the decisive reply. "Yes. vou are." Insisted the one in the hand-embroidered Japanese blue siik waist. And you know It. Beside. Sara"?here siio turned toward the lady In gray?"it is proved hy the fact that woman can love more noblv tlian man." "Certainlv." assented Sara. "Still." mused the young man. "that does not prove that I am wrong. I have looked nto the matter fully, and I find that the irreatest medical authorities concede man's iieart to be larger than that of woman. On in average, according to Dr. Bauchard, wo man's heart measures .W, Inches In surface, vhiie man's measures Inches." An eloquent pause followed, and then the ady In the hand-embroldere.d Japanese blue -dlk waist, after winking at her companion, exclaimed: "Maybe, but what w? lack in quantity, then, we make up in quality." The young man smiled, showing that he knew women. They had forgotten that he as jret had not been proved wrong. ***** A diplomat was reminiscing the other day. and spoke unreservedly of his early days as a lawyer, amusing his listeners with some anecdote, mostly at his expense. "After my shingle had been hanging over my door for three days," lie said, "my first client sent for me. He was a man who con fessed to me that he had snatched a purse from a woman's hand. He wanted me to take the case up for him, and he was to be tried the next day. I went over the techni calities of the case at once, and, full of en thusiasm I was ready to move the Judge t^lth an eloouent address. "The next day my brief was prepared. After stating my side of the case, and be lei-lng I had made a lidt with the court, X wanted to conclude by saying something bright. And I did. "?Your honor." I exclaimed, 'this case -?hows -xtei uatlng circumstances. You must rnako allowances for the disinterestedness r tr.e used, because the purse was -mpty:' * * it * * "Let m._- call your attention." said a vet --an War Department clerk, who Innocent s' thought :?(, had made a discovery, to a Star r. ; ., ter one day this week, "to the symbols ? f life and death In tile decorative reatment ? or the Iron frames of all the ?'jore and windows in the granite building oustng the State. War and Navy Depart ments. Next to the famlliitr r.Jro?-k border ?attern there Is a itne of molding in which ? principal figures are an egg, symbolical f life, and a dart, or arrow-head, symboll ai of death. The things are actually there <s can plainly be seen by any one curious nough to look. Whether the dscoratlon as the mean ng attributed to It or is sim .y an artistic series of tlgures without st.e. il significance olher than beauty and armory. I <io not know. But. despite the act that this decorative molding surrounds dreZ oTMand there are hun , ?r them in this big buiidlne I ven s"7h?O Say U,at ?rar^y any one but my mention//" n0t'Ced the I hav A youthful Individual from a rural ofllf/f ,b'!?"C occupation and manner ancl nn'w ' f reflect,on ln appear ance and hearing, was a visitor the other sion r ? haU' In the mi<Jday ?ntermls 8Ion of one of the courts In which he was attend ,,g a trial ,n, riddy-visaged. horny handed, unsophisticated son of the soil started over the building on a tour of In vestigation. On his round he chanced to pass a room on the second floor in which some work men were renovating several life-size per mits of eminent Jurists who have graced he District bench at one lime or another in the history of the local court. The grave and sedate faces of these pictures have i0a0 ldrt 1 viIy from thelr Places on the tlon fror! lir gaZe> ?f reverpnt adinlra the youthful ^vatn^Tcc^ng i'Sng lnaU??"' Inlster' H;e 1,1058 picture# of crim ,julet'l' "'piled the Judge, "thev are here1" ?f Jus lces who once presided Is that so?" murmured the gentlejnan hashed1 V'lh1', surpr,-se(1 but una ? tl.ought they were convicts." ***** I Anybody who wants can now have dahlias ' blooming practically all summer. The De P^ument of Agriculture recentlv turned the dahlia from a late fail flower to a summer I bioomer. It was more or less of an acci- I dent, but one of the explorers of the depart ment was down In Mexico recently and j found a little, insignificant flower growing half wild, as most flowers and cattle do m that country. It was a true dahlia, but its flower was Insignificant and of a pale jellow color. The only peculiarity about It waa that it started blooming in tlio early spring and kept It up ail Summer. The lit- | tie dahlia was gathered In along with a ! lot of other things and sent to Washington. ! rl here was a question whether anything could he made out of it, but Mr. Oliver, the plant Juggler of the greenhouses, was set to work with It. and by a Judicious amount of crossing and twisting of Its nat ural proclivities he finally produce! a plant that not only would bloom all summer, but bore a big, crimson flower as fine as any autumn-blooming dahlia In the greenhouse. To he sure, with the average horticultur ist raising dahlias In the spring may seem rather like eating strawbe.-riei ?t Christ mas, but it had added another possibility to the varieties that will dec* the Ameri can garden in the summer, an.l it shows too. what good things are laying around in the \ egetable world only waiting for some one to come along and make use of them. 1 bpeaking of pick-ups in the agricultural line orange raising may not he ajjrieuirure In the strictest sense of the term, but the seedless orange, which Is one of the most important factors in the orange market to- 1 day, was a pick-up of the same sort. The tree was a find down In Brazil, where there were a few seedless orange trees growing along one of the rivers. Some of them were sent to the Lnited States, and by grafting. bud ding and enarchlng on ordinary west or ange stock a seedless tree w.is produced thiit has multiplied and spread so as to make the fortunes of a large number of growers in Florida and California. It only shows that agricultural explorers are some- I times worth all the money that !s spent on them on several trips where they turn up ! nothing at all. They are more or less like i prospectors in the west. When the/ do strike, they strike It rich. ***** "We have a queer case on hand Just now." remarked an officer of the Corps of Engi neers at the War Department. "Some time ago we made a contract with a man to re move a wreck from Lake Erie. His bid tvas zero. That is,- he engaged to do the work for nothing in the hope of getting hla money out of the wreck. The work was harder than he bargained for, and ho for feited the contract. It waa then given to the next lowest bidder. His bid was about S-t.SOO. He, too, defaulted, and the contract was then given to the next lowest bidder whose bid was about $9,000. "As Is usual in suoh cases, the govern ment is protected. We hold the first con tractor for the amount we would have had to pay under the second contract, and the second contractor will have to make up the difference between his bid and that of the third contractor. And to add to the comoll oatlons. the third contractor has already spent about the amount of his bid on the work and haa thrown it up. The govern ment will now complete the work and will assess the last contractor for all expenses incurred. The result is tlat the governmeTu gets the wreck removed for nothing and actually gets money from the contractors ior me job. Best He Could Do. From the Chicago Newa. know." said the young man In the case, "that I am poor, but don't you think we .night be able to live on bread and cheese and kisses?" ? ..re?lied t!le falr maid, "but " ? 'hen- ?"? Interrupted, "sea if you cm HE GOT IT. 's Magaslne. 0?c? boy?' Pleas*, ?lr, kin I h*va a half holiday? Mo grandmother " Etarloj-er?"OhI como. Totmny, don't givo m? that old gag." One* bo>??"X wui about U ramarlt dat m? grandmother want# m? to taJ<? h?r to d? ball gMu?." * ? WHISTLED COMMENTS It was verging on midnight, and on on? of the green avenue can. The hatehet-faced lady was rigging taer portly, bald-headed husband and he was Ineffectually trying to square himself. The hatchat-lfccad lady obviously belonged to that type of her sex who believe they're | only talking in a low undertone when, as a matter of fact, their every word Is audible, deafly and distinctly, for a distance of ! twenty-four feet The car was only partly filled, but all of ! the passengers could easily hear what she was saying. It appeared that the couple bad been to a theater and had gone to an oyster house after the show. There, it seemed, the hatchet-faced lady fancied that she bad de tected her portly, bald-headed husband in the act of gazing too amiably at a soubrette who was likewise regaling herself after her arduous stage exertions. A moon-faced messenger boy, seated up in a front corner of the car, seemed to be gazing vacantly out of the car windows "during the progress of the h-sart-to-heart talk between the lady with the tomahawk countenance and her cowed husband. But the messenger boy wasn't so vacant as he looked. "You miserable, sneaking, contemptible thing, you!" said the reproachful wife of the fat man's bosom, "how dared you screw up your beady old eyes at that chemical haired " '?You're Up Against the Real Thing Now." whistled the moon-faced messenger boy up In the corner, looking dreamily out of the car window. "But, my dear, I didn't do anything of the sort," panted the bald-headed husband. "You are entirely mistaken. Do you really suppos* that. I'd " "Yo" Can't Square Yo'self With Me, Yo' Moke." plaintively whistled the messenger boy, shifting in his seat and gazing interest edly at his worn shoes. "Don't you try to tell me such nonsense!" broke In the hatchet-faced woman in a tone that she probably considered as low as the sobful moan of the murmursome sea. "Didn't I see you with my own eyes? Didn't I " "She Was Happy Till She Met You." whis tled the messenger boy, pulling from his pocket a dog's eared copy of "Denver Dan, the De-adwood Dynamiter," and opening It up as if to read. "But, my dear," persisted the fat husband, '"how could I possibly do such an absurd thing when yr>u know that I? "Because I Love You." came shrilly from between the screwed-up Hps of the messen ger boy, who seemed to be absorbed in his literature. "You ate capable of doing anything!" hissed the hatchet-faced woman. "But this Is the last time that you'll ever " 'Tack Yo' Clo'es an' Go." whistled the messenger boy, turning over a page and looking deeply immersed. "Look here," cut in the adipose husband, "you are subject to hallucinations, my dear, and the first thing you know you'll get me so sore over your unjust accusations that "I Loved You Once. I Scorn You Now," was the messenger's boy's contribution to the situation in mellowly-whistled frag ments. "Do you think 1 care how sore you get, you miserable, underhand, fat?yes, fat!? old asinine thing?" The messenger boy had arrived at his get ting-off place. He folded his work of fic tion, got up and walked to the rear plat form. whistling, "Fat! Fat! I Ain't So Fat!" with great energy and effect. The hatchet-faced lady glared at the re treating messenger boy, and then she glanced around and caught the grins on the faces of the other passengers. Then, and then only, did she subside. "Won't do a solitary thing to him when she gets him home, will she?" said the grin ning conductor to a man who got off at the same stop where the messenger boy alighted. "Not a thing." was the reply. Maiden Speeches in the Commons. From M. A. P. I have been much struck by the fact that many new members have already made their maiden speeches. In the old days the young member was advised by his ei ders to remain at least one whole session without opening his lips, and even two sessions of self-inflicted silence were not considered to be excessive. This rule evi dently no longer obtains. Of the members who have spoken since the opening of the present session the great majority were quite new to the House. Before many weeks have elapsed, apparently, there will not remain a single member who has not already made his maiden speech. One of the reasons, I dare say, for this, as for several other things I have noticed, is that the last election was so remarkable In many respects that several members have not yet awoke to the fact that they are not still electioneering. There ts a singular absence in the speeches of the new members or that comparative tranquilizatlon of tone ! which the house of commons usually seems i to beget. There is still something of the shrillness, the exaggeration and the hard hitting which are the characteristics of the platform rather than of the forum. There are certain traditions of the house of com mons, accordingly, which have been vio lated. or, at least not quite faithfully ob served. The English Sparrow. From the Outing Magazine. "1 remember," said John Burroughs to ma recently, "that I first saw the English sparrows In Jersey City about I860. They were scratching around In the streets, and ! I said to myself, 'What In thunder are those birds?' Soon they were in Washington, where I was then living, and I noticed a boy one day with a 9llng shooting them. I wanted to call the police. 'They'll be ex terminated.' I thought, 'and that'll be too bad.' But I didn't know them. A few j years ago a friend of mine shot sixty spar rows one after the other from a single nest, and the survivor of the pair always found a mate. As the shooting continued the birds got cautious, and would skedaddle ; s soon as they saw him; but they finally raised a brood in the nest." The sparrows do not seem as threatening a nuisance as they did at tlrsrt. Nature has furnished checks, and there are probably less of the sparrows than there were a decade or two ago. They are essentially a town bird. The country docs not furnish sufficient food In winter and is too cold. Tliey are seed-eaters, and the droppincs oi <?raln-fed town horsos have been their chief dependence. With the Introduction of elec tric cars and automobiles this source of food lias been diminished and has tended to cut off the sparrows. Then, too, tho hawks have come to understand them, and now often hover around the cities In winter to pick them up. Responsibility of House Ownership. From American Homes and Gardens. That the personal responsibility Is a weighty one, however. Is apparent from the Indlfferenoe with which many persons re gard their place of abode. That there Is a personal responsibility is a new Idea to many owners. Otherwise why is there so much hidifferenoe toward the house as a house, especially in dwellings of low cost? The more expensive the house the greater the sense of responsibility, because in such cases the material elements are better un derstood. It is easier to reckon the damage caused by neglect of a costly house, while a cheap or inexpensive one is bound to de cay, and may be viewed with more or less indifference. But if the owner Is not keenly alive to any sense or personal responsibility he should not iguoro what ho owes his family. Every man who buys a house should see to It th?t It Is. In every way, worthy of his family. This Is the most Important aspect of a house, far transcending every other point of view. If his means are limited, the dwelling will necessarily be of a modest character. But It need not be bad. It need not be situated in the midst of squalid sur roundings, it need not adjoin obnoxious sites, It need not. In faot, be open to any fair criticism. A Practical View. From the Philadelphia Pros. "He's nothing but a hypocrite. Isn't it disgusting for a man to use his religion as a cloak?" "Yes, and what's more. It's foolish, for religion such as hla Is nscessarlly so flimsy that he's liable to catch cold In it." OABEFTJL AT THE 0. P. 0. "We're pretty middling d^tful around the old printery since Public Printer StUlings inaugurated hi* crusade against gan*?iln# a molts the employes." observed one of the compositors on the government pay roll the other $ay. "One of the men in my room glanced out of the window ehortly before 4 o'clock the other afternoon to have a peek at the state of the weather. - 'Wonder why it's not raining as usual?" he said. Two to on* It'll be raining oa.ts and dogs by half-past 4." " 'Sh-sh!' we all hissed at him. " "Why, what's the matter?" he asked us, surprised. ?' 'You said something about two to one," it was explained to him. " 'Oh!' he said, remembering the two-to on* crack, which clearly showed htm to t>e an Inveterate and hopeless gambler, and he Hushed and glanced furtively around the room. "One of the men who got back from his vacation?we take vacations when we can get 'em now?'was telling us about how he enjoyed himself on the day he re turned to work. , ?? 'You can gamble I bad a corking time, he said, enthusiastically. ?? 'jrfush that!' we all felt bound to warn him. 'Don't involve us in your ruin. The word gamble mustn't be used around this factory any more.' "One of the old-time watchmen was nar rating a war experience to one of his old mates a few afternoons ago. " 'Well, sir," he concluded. 'I'll bet them Johnny Rebs Is a-runnin' yet.' "The other old-tlrtie watchman ducked, and when the narrator of the war experi ence was reminded of the break he d made his face grew chalky as he rubbered up and down the hail to see whether any of the attaches of the public printer's regular staff had been passing anywhere near at the time he said 'I'll bet.' "One of the young women in the bindery received a letter announcing the serious ill ness of a friend recently. '* 'Dear me,' commented th-e girl, aloua, ?life is a lottery, isn't it?" "Tlie other people in the room stared at her so hard and significantly that she sud denly remembered having used that awful word, 'lottery,' and so sho quickly amend ed her observation by saying, 'Er?life Is so ?er?uncertain. Isn't it?' "Two young women In the bindery had put In for an afternoon off to go shopping. They couldn't both be spared at the same time, and they both wanted the afternoon off pretty badly. " 'I'll tell you what.' said one of the girls, fairly, after they'd found out that they both couldn't get off, we'll draw lots to see which of us Is to go." "But their chief scowled fiercely over t'his proposition, discerning, as !ie did. tech nical gambling in the scheme, and so they had to settle the matter of the afternoon off In another way. "I understand that ail pokers are to be removed from the printery. so that during the cold v.eather tho grate flres will have to be stirred with the coal tongs. "The favorite cuss word of one of the old-timers in my division used to be 'By Pharaoh!' But he hasn't used that ejaeu* latlon lately, on account of its too close resemblance to the abhorred word 'faro, which, as a matter of fact, Is only a cor ruption of the word 'Pharaoh.' "In a thoughtless moment the other after noon one of the young women in a room hear mine begap to count the buttons on her shirt waist. " 'Rich man, poor man, beggar man, thief?she began, and then she looked -ip suddenly with a flush of fear on her face. Yes, everybody in the room was gazing re proachfully at her. Had she not been gam bling with herself as to how those but tons were going to come out? "A man In the clerical division, who re c?ntly took his vacation at the time Vie was told to take it?we'll all have to do that, too?went to New York, his home, to put In the time, and when lie returned he was telling his pals about the good timo he had. Among the things he did was '.o tf.kr dinner at the Park Casino. He start ed to tell that, but he changed It, for he 5 remembered that casino Is a game of cards. ' 'There goes a red-headed girl," said one of the young fellows In my division, look ing out of the window the other afternoon. 'Now, where'a the white'?but he stopped abruptly, remembering the peril of men tioning such an expurgated word as 'horse.' " 'I've got malaria, sure-^an feel It In my bones,' observed one of the old-timers the other forenoon, but right away he sud I denly recollected that "bones' Is capable of being construed Into 'dice,' and he looked i worried for the remainder of the afternoon for fear somebody had noticed the awful break. "Oh, I guess we're not learning to be 1 the careful ones 8round the printery! Got to be careful. Need the work." Give Your Horse Begular Exercise. From the Outing Magazine. As to exercise, this must depend upon what a horse la kept for, and expected to do, but it must be regular, and any lack of It must be lni?tantly met by a corre sponding reduction In both the amount and tha nourishing quality of -he food. If a horse In regular work Is suddenly laid by, as from lameness or other accident, he must forthwith be served with a mild cathartic like a pint of raw linseed oil, or a mild aloes ball of two or three drachms. Sundays are usually rest days, ajid accord ingly Saturday's midday and night rations should be light In character, ad those ot the holiday Itself. Thousands of cases of azdturla are noticeable in all cities every year, and this is what troubles nearly all the horses we see flat In tho street so fre quently. Ninety per cent of these cases occur on Monday, for the reason that the careless owners have not lessened the feed upon the previous day, when the hard working animal was suddenly allowed com plete rest. At lea'st Ave miles dally Is re 1 quired to keep most horses fit, and they are generally all the better for a ten-mile pilgrimage between breakfast and supper, but every individual case varies. What Tuskegee is Doing. Booker T. Washington to World's Work. Tuskegee Institute will complete this year the first twenty-five years of its existence. It was opened July 4, 1881, with one teacher and thirty pupils. At that time It had neither land or buildings, nothing but tne $2,000 a year granted by the Alabama leg islature. Even the dilapidated shanty and the old church In which Its first sessions were conducted ware lent by the colored people of the vi&age. It was not long, however, before tne school acquired a small tract of land. The first piece of jive stock which it becamo possessed of wsjs an old blind mule, the gift of a white mart hi the neighborhood. Th"s represented the .capital of the school. At the close of the school year last May It owned 2,00l> acrea of land, 88 buildings large and small," used as dwellings, dormi tories, class roonifj, shops and barns, which, together with the equipment, live stock, stock in trade and other personal property, were valued at about *831,8!>5.:S2. Tills does n<?t include 22,000 acres of publlo land re maining unsold from the 25,000 granted by Congress, valued at $135,000, nor the endow ment fund, which amounted, January 1, 1B06, to $1,275,(564 How to Train Your Dog. From the Outing Magazine. In managing your dogs there will not perhaps be much fun unless you can follow your individual notions on what constitutes enjoyment. There Is not perhaps a single thrill In twisting your soul to carry out processes which rasp against the grain. However, I am not your parish priest, but a dog man. Whatever your Imagination may Invent, a dog Is still a dog, and has none of the attributes which we assign to ourselves when we feel mushy. A dog un derstands "yes" and Is equally competent to grasp the "no." Outside of that he Is all do* and follows his dog ways. He Indulges In no mental refinement and will not com prehend many of your changes of mood or mind. Whatever you undertake to teach, make it plain, simple and unchangeable. It is a pity that he must be taught not to jump up on people and compliment them with his caresses. He means well, but must be disciplined sternly Into knowing that it Is not good form under any circum stances. The discipline need not be ac companied by any severity. A light touch with a whip. If applied Invariably, will soon settle tho matter. Home kennel men adopt the plan of stepping lightly on tho hind foot, and It is perhaps tha clearest way of conveying the Idea. SOME RACING STORIES This young man, who works tor his llvtng In an F street office, couldn't vet his desk anything like cleaned up till nearly half* past t last Saturday afternoon. Then he broke out of his office at a canter, mak ing for the New Tork avenue surface line of cars. Bennlng-bound. He wasn't so eager to make the track In time for the first race?3 o'clock?on his own account. But he had a $10 note, be longing to a friend, in his clothes, to be wagered on Winchester In the first race. The young man hasn't be<n playing 'em long enough to have been bitten in betting other people's money. The real deep and experienced person with the horse bag knows enough to Instantly bite the arm off his dearest friend If the latter asks him to get down money at a rare track. But this young man had accepted the commission cheerfully. He was considerably worried, however, when, on boarding the New York avenue car at 14th street, he figured that, with the clearest right of way and the best going, the car would only Just about make Benning in time for the first race. The car hustled along at a pretty good clip till the bridge over the Eastern branch was reached. Then the car's fuse or hew gag, or something or other, burned out, and It cam* to a standstill, it was then eight minutes to 3. The young man with the $10 note to go on Winchester for a friend broke out in a cold perspiration. There was no chance for the car to reach the Benning gate In time for any of its passengers to play the first race. Supposing Winchester were to win at 20 or 30 to 1 or some such foolish figure? The young man gnawed his nails and thought and thought and thought. He knew that. In case the horse won, he wouldn't be able to tell his friend that he hadn't been able to make the track In time to get the $10 down?that would sound too wobbly. He was In a sad fume over the situation, when, to the rear of the car, 'he heard the notes of a three-strap automobile siren. Looking behind ho rec ognized the swiftly approaching car. It belonged to a man he knew well, and the man owning the machine was acting as his own chauffeur. The young man leaped out of the stalled car. ran over to the middle of the road and waved his arms wildly dl rectly_ In the path of the approaching buzz wagon. The machine slowed up. "Hey, there, Jim: what the dickens ails you?" the driver of the car called out to the.- young man. "I can't give you a lift wagon's packed full now." "I>on't want any lift," replied the young man, hurriedly. "Here, take this." hand ing the owner of the automobile a $10 note, "and get it on Winchester In the first race for me. Money belongs to a friend of mine, and the blamed Winchester 'horse is liable to cop and cut me out of a summer vaca tion If I don't get the bet down some way, anil'" The man In the buzz wagon understood. He took the $10 and was on his way before the young man In the road had finished his explanation. The young man reboarded the stalled car, which presently got under way, but the car didn't get to the grounds in time to enable Its passengers to play their pick for the first race. But when the young man with the quick-thlnlcing habit got to the entrance the owner of the automobile was waiting for him at the turnstile. He had $110 in his hand. "I got the bet down." he said. "just as the mutts were lined up to break. Win chester wins, and I got 10 to 1." The F street youth's sudden Impulse to jump from the stalled car and stop the automobile had been worth just $100 to him. As to that same Winchester race, George Sheridan, a well-known follower of the game from Chicago, and a heavy bettor when he thinks he Is in good, had a dry remark to make when the numbers went up. Sheridan had "gone to" some other horse in the race to the tune of $300. When Winchester finished in the van. "breezing," Sheridan, who was standing just behind the press box, jammed his hat over his eyes, thrust his hands Into his pockets and observed grouchily: "Winchester, hey? And Sheridan twenty miles away!" The sad story attaching to almost every case wherein one man bets another man's money at a race track had its ten-millionth exemplification in the race which Flat won, with as good as 10 to 1 against him, on Tuesday last. A Pennsylvania avenue restaurateur w>ho went to the track by the steam cars on that day was held up by a friend at the station. The friend couldn't "get away from his business to go to the track that day, it seemed, but he had a tip on Fiat and wanted to get $20 down. Would his friend the restaurateur take the $20 and play Fiat strafght for him? The restaurateur, remembering some doleful Incidents in con nection with proxy betting and having a keen sense of his own notorious absent mindedness besides, tried to duck, but ho couldn't get out of it. His friend was in sistent, and so the restaurant man took the $20 and promised to get it down on Fiat in the last race. By the time he reached the track the ab sent-minded restauranteur had clean for gotten all about that $20 Fiat money to be put down for his friend. He didn't, in fact, stay at the track for the last race at all He cleaned up about $70 up to and includ ing the fifth race, and then he concluded that he d got all that ought to be coming to him for one day. and started for town in an electric car. On the way in he began to figure up his bank roll, checking oft his lets and winnings. He found that he was !'>20 ahead of the balance figures, and he was very gloatful, Indeed. "Well, this," said he to himself, "is the first time 1 ever got a head of a book ?naker or a bookmaker's crew. One of those cashiers must have given tnc $20 too much In settling one of my bets. Fine! I sup pose I'll spend the whole day tomorrow loklng up that cashier and giving him back the $20 he gave me by mistake?yes, yes." and he continued to gloat most cheerfully all the way back to town in the electric car. He met the man who had given him the $20 Fiat money when he got off the car to change for his restaurant at the transfer station. The Fiat man began to execute difficult and involved jig steps as soon as he saw the restaurateur. "Yow! 1 guess I'm the poor horse, picker, ain't I?" he gurgled to the restaurateur. "I'm a perfect shine at this thing of light ing on the long ones, ain't I? Just tele phoned to the track and found out that little old Flat copsltles at 10 to 1. Wow! Gimme my $220. oid man?and much obliged to you for getting it down." The restaurateur had remembered, of .course, long before his gurgly friend had concluded his happy little speech. And, without a word, he went into his dungarees and dug up the $22t> Hut the next time he lets any friend hold him up and force money on him to bet at a race track the capital of the United States will be Aurora in-the-Ozarks. and that shift, it is gen erally understood, is some little distance in the future. Equally sad, as the result of his off handedness, was a young gentleman from Baltimore, who, one day last week, brought a couple of young women friends over from the Monumental city to view the Ben ning game for an afternoon. The party viewed the races from the club house. Came a race In which one of the young women, looking over her program, clapped eye on the name of a horse dubbed Nutwood. ."Oh, there was a girl at the convent named Nutwood?Jane Nutwood." exclaimed this young woman. "And what an athletic girl she was?she could beat all of the giris in the hundred yards, e-e-easy! Oh, I'm going to have a dollar on Nutwood. What'n Nutwood's price?" addressing the young wn. "Oh, SO to 1. or something like that," carelessly replied the young man from Bal timore. "Crab. Only In the way. Hasn't got-a chance In the world. Orawflsh. Runs backward. Lob. Wasting her money. Forget it." But the glri who'd had a schoolmate named Nutwood insisted, and then the other girl caught the hunch fever, and they both Insisted upon the young man getting a dol lar apiece down for them on Nutwood. "Oh. It's post time now," said the young man. "Tell you what I'll do. I'll lay you against Nutwood myself. Soft two bucks for me. Stealing It. I'll give you each GO to 1 against Nutwood. That sat isfy you?" Well, they'd rather get it down with a regular bookmaker, they said?it would seem more reckless?but? "You're on, both of you?50 to 1 each on Nutwood," and they Insisted upon taking their $1 bills out of their pocketbooks ana giving them to him, while he smiled en joyably and talked airily about how soft the money looked to him. When Nutwood won from Monte Carlo by a nose he paid out his $100 like a little man, but he looked extremely thoughtful and preoccupied for the remainder of the afternoon. How He Protects Guests From "Sure-Thing" Artists. TOUT AND OTHER GRAFTERS Solicitors of Contributions to Bogus Charitable Institutions. LOOKOUT FOR SNEAK THIEVES The Detective In a Modern Large Hotel la Kept Busy Showing the Exits to Undesirable Persons. A few forenoons ago a substantial appear ing. middle-aged man of business, a guest at one of the leading; downtown hotels, plumped himself Into a deep leather chair In the luxurious main lobby and began to go over the stack of letters which had Just beeu handed to him from his box. He had not been long immersed in his morning heap of mall before a shrewd-eyed, over-dressed chap in a loud, long-tailed cutaway suit of tweed, edged over In his direction, pulled another of the deep leather chairs along side that of the middle-aged man of busi ness and began to address him in a low tone, but accompanied by many positive gestures. The middle-nged man looked up from his letters at the over-dressed chap with mani fest surprise, and then shook his head and ' made several gestures of deprecation. But the shrewd-eyed one was not to be put off. He went right ahead with his prepare-1 dis course. The middle-aged man looked an noyed. He had his hands upon the arms of his chair, preparatory to getting up and changing his seat, when a slender, nervous looking man of fifty or so, with an ex tromely keen pair of gray eyes and a Chopped-off reddish mustache, walked over and gave the over-dressed chap a slight touch on the shoulder. This man was "Pat" Galligan, one of the best-known hotel de tectives In the United States. The over dressed chap looked up when he felt that slight touch on the shoulder, and, at a nod from Ualllgan, left his seat and strolled over to a corner of the lobby with the detective, who, with his quiet dress and lounging manner, might easily have been taken for a guest of the hotel. But the over-dressed chop, a race track tout of the sort that array themselves In exceedingly glad rags and ornament their cravats with huge diamond horseshoe pins and hang around hotels In order to hook suckers knew very well that Galligan wasn't a guest of the hotel. they had reached the corner of the hotel lobby, Galligan came to a stop, as did the over-dressed chap. 1 bought you knew that gentleman, I tone? BaW GaIIisan- ln hls ordinary The tout glanced over his shoulder out of of th? big windows, but said nothing. Suppose you don't play any more around here, hey?" said Galligan then. "Poor fish ing plant, this. Drill. Blow. Don't come back. There's going to be a pinch if I see \ou in this lobby again. You've got that hey? All right. Beat it." Beat Hasty Retreat. The over-dressed tout, without a word, slunk toward the circular storm door and was out on the avenue about eight seconds later. I have to give the elbow nudge to about forty a day of that kind while the races are here, explained Galligan. "The fly touts try to work their New York habits la \\ ashlngton. They dig up most of their niarks and fall guys around the New YoVk betels Instead of at the tracks. But that don t go here. Keeps me busy spotting em. The tout that Just went out saw me go up in the elevator a minute or so ago and he figured that his time for a busy minute was at hand. But. you see, I was playing the same line of past performance dope as he was. I knew that as soon as I got out of sight he'd begin to cast the fly for a live one, and so I came right down on the same trip of the elevator and nailed him with the goods. He won't be back. They don't come back, once they've been warned. They know that there's a pretty neat vag law here, and that the possession of a suit of noisy clothes and a horseshoe stick-pin and a pf Ir of field-glasses doesn't prevent a won derful mug from being vagged in little old Washington if the merchandise la traced to him. "Any hotel that allows these race-track touts to lounge around and operate Is bound to be damaged in its reputation. Guests, whether they take occasional shies at the ponies or not. don't like to be edged up to by the good-thing distributers with the oily exteriors and the plausible line of exhaust steam, and they complain at the desk if they're bothered in this way. It's my business around here to keep Just as many complaints away from that desk aj I can. A hotel detective is bound to feel as if he's been soldiering on his Job when a guest complains at the de=k about I any sort of annoyance in the lobby. "I know the faces of about all of the professional touts, old and new?no credit i-oming to me for that, for I've been watch ing the coming and going of the turf bunch here and in Saratoga and In New York for more than a quarter of a century. No. 1 never mistake a regular, responsible fol lower of the pony game for a tout. The answer's easy. The regular turfman of re pute doesn't try to cuddle himself into the graces of strangeia in a hotel lobby. The on-the-level horsy chap is pretty nigh al wayH a reserved individual, who hasn't a grea' deal to say even to the people he has krown for years. Grafter's Busy Season. * "I suppose that during the sessions of Congress more grafters try to do business around tho hotel lobbies of Washington than in any other city ln the country. Of late years the 'phonies' with large deals under their bonnets have ben coming to Washington In shoals for the purpose of trying to swing the awake ones with heavy bank Wads who gravitate toward Wash ington. 'where it is,' during the winter months. And a good many of the grafters register ln state, taking sumptuous suites at the very hotels that they have it ln mind to work. It Isn't so easy to deal with these grafters who are guests of the house, but there are ways and methods of giving them the conge conversation, all the same. We've got a sort of exchange system working. A few weeks ago, for example, the hotel detective of one of the big hyphenated dumps In New York wrote me a little note informing me that a cer tain purveyor of 'phony' Mexican gold mine stock had Just been bilged out of the New York hotel, and that this 'phony' had headed for Washington and would probably put up at this house. "He came along all right a day or so later and put up here in style. He was one of those lightning-change artists with the clothes thing, and had raiment for all occasions. He swirled around tho lobby In long-tailed frocks and swal'ow-tal'ed tu nics for three or four days and nights be fore he figured that his samples were ready to show, and then he'd got his marks se lected and began on theoi with the plausi ble buzz-buzz. I have to have the au thority of the house, of course, before I can give the opening nudge to a gue-*t. anJ I had the house's authority in this cafe. He was showing a very reluctant rich man from Keokuk or some such placi a piece of quartz mined ln the Tonopah coun try as a sample of his JTexlcan gilt sttiff when I told him that the manager of I he house desired his company for ft few min utes. The manager 'told him all' in a few sharp words, and It was up to me to do the rest. The fake gold-mining purveyor of cute worthless certificates was out of the house within the half hour. Ho fume ! at me on his way out that he was going to sue the house for $100,000 000, or some such piking matter, and carry the case to the Supreme Court of the United States. But we haven't beon Berved with the pa pers yet. Business of Hotel Sleuth. "It's the hotel sleuth's business to keep out all teggars of whatsoever class or kind, from those who inesJ* In and try to mace guests In the lobby for the pr ce of the pannikin of <Iream-Juteo to the swag gering, burly kind, who try to sn:ig rloh guests to put tli?r n?mw down for any thing from *100 t<|?.0W for plK^y orphan asviums. fake '\\*o'? It.' publications, anl that sort of thlnl The number of bdfUft charitable ga** tlfat cii?rlul workers most of them from other clttea. try to put ovai at the Washington hotel* 1? astonishing. Most of the men ard women who kit* along this way w'.th these neat gimme a hundred' lake charity things are the nn> plest kln<l of dressers, and all there with the conversational oil. and If there wacn t somebody around a camvanwtry to spot them they'd clean up like the harp th.it nn?i through the city hall. They all put up the unhana-me, i?>w-dnxe-y?u ttiing when they're segregated and pointed In ths direction of the ex t floor, and all of 'em are going to sue the house for the price of the Improvement* atid the ground lea*e and attach the gate receipts within fifteen minutes, hut. somehow or another, they never seem to come baclc once thoy've beeu shown the right way out "The projectors and hackers of and run ners for the various maybe-you'll-get-out wlth-your-lire poker gam>s that are car ried on in some or the shady cmbs and third-rate hotel*-of Washington have to be watched for. too They've got a war of slld ng around the lobby and warming up to likely Looking guests on fictitious pre texts. When a hotel guest who ki.ws enough to keep his head within a car win dow wants to find a poker game or a far > bank he knows how to go alxvit ge;tlr? the information ns to the location "f <>i-e But when a hotel guest of the mar* species yields to the Inviting prrsua* o- s of one of thea" runners and gees out and gets himself shredded for large and copi ous moneys lie generally returns to the hotel and emits a sad narrative to the clerk at the desk about !v>w he's been allowed' by the hotel folks to be dragged Into a brace game. Tilt) average h?tel guest of the mark sort will hold the hotel he Is stopping at responsible for everything con nected to or with him. from I he aching of h's unplucked back teeth to tho tense spots on the right-band lapel of his dinner coat. Delicate Work Required. "The shy. young, skirted persons who ait demurely about the Indies' reception and writing rooms, with no apparent object In life, have to be carefully observed, too. This Is alwiut the most difficult work a hotel sleuth has to tackle, for If he. get* in wrung Just once ho could easily fei*h a large damage suit down upon the house employing him But the work has to he done, and 1 don't remember that there ve been any damage suits of that kind In Washington. "Professional hotel sneaks have to be looked out for every ltour of the .lay and night?that, of course. Is reaJly the main business of the hotel detective. But 1 don't have much of the main business here. You see, the professional hotel sneaka know just it3 much about how tho various big hotels' around the country are policed us the hotel sleuths are supposed to know about the hotel sneaks. The Class A hotel sneak, the one who lias been In tHe >ts! ness for years, will never show his :uug within the door of a hotel that employs a lious? detective who has been snooping around watching things for a long stretcu of moons. They know where there aio hotels that employ new hous? sleuths, e, lows unfamiliar with the mugs of the pro fessional hotel workers, and they cotvtm^ their operations to these nowadays. It isn't any brag to say that I kn<?w the fa' ., of every first-rate and second-rate hold sneak, man and woman that's jv-r been mugged In the United States for that* my business, and If X dldn t know t. el countenances I'd be of no use here or In anv other hotel. About five months ago I was amazed to see coming In here with a large delegation of business men fro-n a western city to uttend an Important b>tsl ness men's convention a mlddle-age.1 man whom I'd known for years as ..tie of lh? smartest major league hotel sneaks In tne whole country. I hadn t heard of him TO. llvo or six years before I saw him that day five months ag >. walking In here with the western bunch as big as life and groom ed to the nines from shiner hat to tary heeds. I took him over into a corner VoiT hadn't ought to make me laugh this way when you can see that m> hps are chapped.' I told him. 'OUrou*^ to find me In my dotage, or waj >?.ur idea that there'd be a new hound'here.? " 'Flag that,' he said to me In an < irno..t tone. "I've been square up for five l'6"' Thought you might have heardI t Be long to the business men s aaaoclat1^ t ^ I came along here with. Got * fn? jjj; making monev and have forgot all "bout the old push Make any Inquiries i n th . quiet about me that you like of the mwi I rnme along with. None of them Is hef> to Xt I used to be. But you're not going to squeak on me, are you? His Reformation Confirmed. "Of course I was going to do no such a thing If, upon Inquiry, I found out that he was really doing the right thing. I found that ho was, all right. He was one of the most esteemed men with his party. But It seemed an odd thing to see him around. "A man holding this sort of a billet even has a certain amount of "fetching as I call it. to do. For example, jwe had Caruso the Italian tenor, here during th* recent visit of the grand opera company Now. oddly enough, that Italian cl>ap wlth the voice of gold is mightily lnteresUMl ln : well what d'ye suppose? Frlz.t-lighting He took In all of the fights around New York that he could make, and when we got acqualntedi ft the lobby here and he found out that the fighting K?me Is a sort of a bu^r nf mine too?used to toe In tho ring vnya^ii, and fought over forty middle-weight battlea before I took to this business-lie seemed to be delighted, and we'd spend Fome h?urii together in the lobby every afternoon talk ng over the old biffing ganre. A lot of the eiiest? of the house, seeing me tn conversa flr.n with Caruso, came to nie and asked me to introduce them to the Italian .enor^ Some of them were chaperoned yojng ladles who deploring the fact that they had to meei the teno? in so unconventional a way. nevertheless Insisted upon noting him I d tell him about these people who n ant,<1 lo meet him. and. as he's one of the most amiable and obliging foreigners I ever had anv dealings with, I was able to give u whole lot of wholesome people t!ie chant to shake the mitt of and have a little talk with the 6lnging boy who s got em all i. or less buffaloed when it comes to the con Ridpration of human pipes. "nother ^ of sss s'vC &?? Paine" and Gaines trying to edge into the Hear %and? Wait'11 I go and show that agar muuu out, and the play-it-now ^ edged over to the tout, deteetiw#* working for half an hour without ??s 2&2* 8--ara^' The Smoke Nuisance in New York. From the Medical Recortl. Electric light Is a great convenience, and even a necessity, but we need not barter our glorious sunlight to obtain It. There are some nuisances entailed by modern prog ress which must l>e endured, but for the smoke nuisance tiiere is no excuse Bitu minous coal can be burned without this will ful waste of carbon, and It Is strange that those in charge of power hour s and other large consumers of soft coal sh uid rot sc. that the prevention of smoke by suitable de vices, or even by more careful ;;tok would effect a very apprec'.ald. *c ? : ..my !n fuel. They should be made to ei e it. O: by one the great cities of the east are being devoured by the black smoke beast--ivi-u tidy Philadelphia Is becoming grimy and soot-soiled?and if New York is to be saved speedy and energetic action must be taken by the health commissioner. We have gc*:v.? back to dirty streets, "out let us at 1. keep the air clean. Getting Rid of Visitors. i-'ronr the PlUltile^'iila Itccord. "Mamma wants two pounds of butter ex actly nke what you sent her last; If It alnt' exactly like-what she got before rho v/oa"? take it," said a young boy to the proprietor la an East (Jermantown store yesterday. The grooer. his face wreathed in wnlle.;, turned to a number of customers who stood by and remarked blandly: "Now. soma peo ple In my business don't like to coma In contact with particular customers, but I sincerely say X do. I take great delight In serving them and try my best to secure for them what tl.ey destro. Just wait another minute, my little man. and I will fill your arder with pleasure."" The little boy. being thvt? encouraged to speak, admonished tho busy grooer to "be sine and get the sai.ie kind of butter, became a lot of pop's rela tions are visiting our house and mamma doesn't want 'am to come again."