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NESTLING down in the hollow of Her
ring Hill, a noted colored settlement in Georgetown, which Is situated Hlor.g the hanks of the tempestuous Kock creek. i's it little shanty occupied by an an cient d?rk> who answers to the name of I'ncle Mutii l*ncl? Mose is a "culliid" gentleman, much respe *? ?I and looked up to by the other denl*. T..1 of the hollow, and. moreover. bears the proud distinction of having more ijraiid . :.lldren t han be is able to count. \t t e present time I'ncle Mose is sharing the rather narrow wBllfl of 1 ? little back with his daughter find several of her children, and the way I'ncle Mose holds t !:<?- ni -kanninnies In check is tiie ad miration of t ie other settlers In the neigh I For I'ncle Mime is a "cullud" (MtlfBUUl of the old school and firmly 116 Ilex es in bringing up the young ones as old mar^e a i l missus brought him up. The other day a Star reporter was down ill the hollow Investigating a case in which ii denizen of the place had mixed it up with a policeman, when his attention was at- ; tract ed to I'ncle Mose. who was reading j one of hS small grandsons a lesson on good behavior "Keeps you busv looking out for the youngsters does It. uncle?" inquired The Star man "Yes. sah: vo' done said it all now: yo Mio'lv has." replied the venerable darky, as he made a regular Chesterfield bow. "Bi.t." he continued, "ile oilers don t gib nie i:'nr so much trubble as (Tat ar li awge Wash'tun dar do: he. sah, am de white #?heep ob de fambly. And with a shake of his head and a final admonition to the recal trant namesake of the cherry tree hero. I'ncle Mose hobbled into his shanty and slammed the door. ***** Xii F str.et optician had a funny expe rience the other dav, which he Is still tell ing his friends about He had barely got ten to his place on this particular morning when in marched a little old man. of ap parently sixty-odd years of age, and un doubtedly a resident in agricultural dis tricts , . He wanted a pair of glasses, and so he told the optician, who immediately got his paraphernalia out and st&rtad in to applj ovp T*kSt3. At first the doctor tried the old fellow with a printed card, which he held about thlrtv feet from the farmer, and he said to him: "Can you read that?" "No. 1 can't." snapped back the visitor. The card was then advanced up to twenty feet and he was asked If he could then read It? Again he said he could not. "Well," said the optician, "here It is at fifteen feet Can you read It now?" "No I can't read It. mister." replied the old fellow, who was getting Impatient and restive under the examination. "Can you read it now?" asked the opti cian as he brought the card up to the tens foot mark. . , "No. I can't read it." cried the farmer, with some show of temper; and how can ye exuect me to read when I ftln t nefer yet learned how?' ***** No. 10 police precinct was saved a case the otlier day on account of the mistake made by a would-be thief of the genus hobo specie* It all t nine about through the hobo, mis taking the brother of a Calvert street lady for her husband. and. while acting under this in.predion, attempting to become the possessor of a suit of clothes without ha\ ing to go through the trifling formality of purchasing the, ?ime. The iady In question, who lives with her brother out on Washington Heights, was seated at the basement window in the cool of the morning, when the door bell rang, and she herself responded to the call. What she found on the other side of the door was a ragged piece of humanity, who, with a smile meant to be ingratiating, said: "Good morning, madam; your husband stopped in our place on his way downtown, and told me to come up and get >>:? best suit of clothes, which he wants us to brush up and press." "Are >ou sure it was my husband?" aske.j the lady? "Oh. dear, yes." replied the tramp. "I knows him well; he has all his work done a' o n place." "Did fie appear to be in good health and spirits when you saw him?" asked the lady. "Never saw him looking better." an swered the hobo. "Appeared natural and all that?" inquired the lady. "Why. sure thing." replied the ragged one: "he was joking with me before I left tie shop; I never." concluded the tramp, "ever see him in better spirits." "That's strange.* said the lady, "because my husband lias been dead nineteen years, and the man whom you no doubt saw come nut of this house this morning was my brother." She was going to ad.i some few words more, but by this time the hobo was heat In* It down Calvert street as fast as he could go. in the direction of the open coun try a< i mi the Rock Creek bridge ***** A dt v goods clerk in a large 7th street establishment narrowly escaped with liis life o: day last wek. and every time he think- about the awful occurrence It makes him Jiz7.j It j :st after the noon hour, when a large Ma- k woman with perspiration ?leaning down her fat cheeks marched herself . , to the sto kings counter presided i>v?- !>} the cl.rk In question and asked to be Rl.-twr. some hosiery. "i "oi t.t.nh >ald the urbane employe, "t t what kind do \ou desire?" "1 ?? i: ts at p.i'r ob tlesh-colored ones?" AN UNFORTUNA Ft'ju* Pun ii Pa: son? ' Where is the other man who Park fcitekeeper?"He's dead, sir." Parson (with feeling)?"Dead' Poor fe Park gatekeeper "Oh, I wouldn't like ?tan is Tar as I I,out bwrs ff?ard Seen nnswered the black giantess as she sank heavily down on the stool, which groaned as her form found a rt sting place there. "Why. all right. ' cordially replied the clerk, as he rcached up into a box and brought dow n a i>air of black stockings, which he passed, or. in fact, which he at tempted to pass. iver to the lady of color, for the attempt was Just as far as the sim pering little clerk sot, because no sooner had the licorice-comnlexioned dame caught the sight of the stockings which were being held out to her than she gave a shriek and made such a swipe at the astonished man liehlnd the counter, that, had she landed on hirr with one of those washing tub hands of hers, it would have been the hurry-up wagon for the clerk, with a cot in the Kmergency as a wind-up. "To think." screanod the lady of color, "ilat I hab to cum all de way down hyar f'um Champlain abernoo to be resulted by ills huar white man. X betcher I gwine knock his debblish hald off, I sho !> Is. it he da'r poke it out f'um 'hind dat ar counter." , . And there is no doubt but what the smokv-hued giantess would have been as good as her word, but the clerk explained afterward that his rbason for remaining under the counter was because he had Joined the Red Crjss Society when a mere youth, and he had conscientious scruples about betraying his trust. At any rate, he remained under the coun ter until the floor walker, who is a brave soldier?at least he is a member of the Dis trict militia?risked his life by ascertaining what the trouble was. anil then he poured oil on the troubled waters by going behind the counter and wrapping up for the queen of Champlain avenue a pair of the cream iest complexion stockings that ever came out of that store. And with thi9 parcel stowed safely away in a capacious shop ping bag the lady of color departed with a deep grin of satisfaction on her perspiilng countenance. ***** "Strange as it may seem." said a recent visitor to the German empire, "the Ger mans. who have made such great strides In commerce In recent years, have failed to adopt the modern system of settling ac counts by check. Here in America almost every one has a bank account and checks against it in the payment of practically all bills. The convenience of the check in sav ing time, in cheapness and in securing an Indisputable receipt is universally recog nized. But in Germany the bulk of the btlls of the people are paid in cash, in gold, silver or paper currency. When money is sent at a distance it is by means of money orders, which take time in securing them and add an expense that In our commercial houses is avoided. But progressive Ger mans are awakening to the disadvantage nnder which thev labor and are seeking legislation that will make it possible for them to pay their debts by the same sys tem that prevails here. The trouble at present is that they are unable to pay by i check in manv cases because of legal draw backs which they now seek to remove. ***** "The barroom bully is an arrant coward when put to the test of war." With this saying of the late Gen. Rosecrans a? his topic, a speaker at a recent civic better ment meeting discoursed on the ways of the average "bad man" of the modern cit- | ies. He read from a writing of Gen. Rose- I crans, familiarly known as "Old Rosy," in j which that officer described a regiment of | men from Cincinnati in the civil war, in which there were many of the barroom bullv class who had been pressed into the service or entered as substitutes to earn a few ttundreds of dollars. When these men came face to face with the grim fighters In gray of the Confederacy and they realized that in warfare the rifle m kes the puny weaklin* a match for the muscular giant, Ihe bullies Just turned pale and flunked. They couldn't stand rifle fire any more than they could the steely bayonet. Big brawny bruisers who had been wont to swagger about town with chips on their shoulders looking for some weaker vessel to tackle found in the fire and smoke of battle that while their frames and muscles were large their real courage was mighty small and of the craven coward sort. "Better take the pale-faced, modest-man nered Sunday school lads when you want real soldiers?men who can face the bullets or the bayonets of the enemy?rather than the brawny red-faced bullies of our cltics, who. when they are outdone in an argu ment. want to resort to brute force to set tle the question in dispute." wrote Gen. Rosecrans. and he should have known. ***** Merchants of the far west are suspicious of brand-new paper money, according to a compositor employed at the government printing office. When he received his money for leave and back pay it was delivered to him lust as it was received from the treas ury by the paymaster. "When I planned to spend my vacation | ?with the folks' in my home state west of old Big Muddy I thought to surprise them by having only brand-new money." he said in telling the story, "and consequently was careful not to fold it. After I had been about the little town for a few hours I felt of my chin and concluded to get a shave. The barber did not know me. and when I took a bright new dollars out of my bill book he took it gingerly and turned it over and over. 'This all you got?' he asked. X was amused at his greenness, and said there were more where that came irom, and took the whole flat 'bundle' out of my pocket and told him to take Ills choice. ?Where did vou come from, man?' he asked, and to save time I had to tell him I was from Washington and worked for Uncle Sam. ? For three davs it was the same story wherever I went. Merchants were so used to ragged and dirty bills that resembled dish rags that they looked with suspicion on brand-new money that had never been folded. In the end I went to a bank and explained the situation and asked to have the new bills exchanged for the kind the natives were used to. And even the cashier did not like the proposition one bit. It was some time before I could convince him, with the aid of several letters I happened to have in my pocket, that I was not a green goods artist with nerve enough to try the game on a country bank. Never again will 1 try to act as if the government turned out money for my especial benefit." te ambiguity. o? used to be here as keeper?" llow! Joined the great majority, eh?" to say that, sir. He was a good enough BY WAY OF A HOLIDAY APARTT of Washington men who went over to New York to see the running of the Futurity at Sheeps head Bay met up with Fred Miller, the Washington trainer of thoroughbreds. Miller has been mixed u_ considerably with selling race wars at 'the various tracks dur ing the past few years, and he told the Washington bunch a story about a man who got hold of a horse in a bid-up with out afterward remembering anything about ft. ... "I've become pretty well acquainted with this man since the thing happened," said Miller, "and he's a pretty solid sort of a chap. He was never a regular at the race tracks, but played them only occasionally by way of a holiday. "One day. during the Aqueduct last spring, he decided suddenly to visit the track. He came to this decision so sud denly that lie didn't have ttme to get any luncheon for himself, and. byway ^ com pensation, he took a lot of " ? stom run, and additionally, on an empt) atom ach. while getting out to the t of "His stomach was out of , town, as he afterward ^pressed lt-and an empty stomacli wasn t mean ^ llme hard liquor anyway, and *o ? ? It all right, he afterward told me that he hadn't the faintest ^collection o a solitary thing that had occurred to him after ne passed through the track gate that atier "Tn the second race he had a?>''ndred; dol lar bet down on one of the tw J . home this day to the tune of.the nee .? ?? 1 t-hat the ciialkers had laid against mm. Mv friend with the subconscious bun on was there all right when It came to coUect lng his winnings, and after getting the ninnev lie drifted down to the rail by the rages' ?"and and saw that theft was, go iv.?r a selling race sale. He ieu pretLj soft toward the little gelding t',alllf^,,W?tg 1,1m the $3,000, so he nudged around whore the sale was coming off. , iw? a.1* smtesk? ssru* i minute's dead silence. , htv this ?? 'Who is bidding on this mighty . xnis eal-lorlous specimen of Uw thoroughbred tribe"' the auctioneer derisively inqulied. "The man with the souse on was, in the meanwhile, talking to ll'm?e" h whagh" it "-Ish a durned shame, thash wnasn 11 rr it I i'l hawss wlnsh tne bankroll. JlvHU rr couldeseePhSn* SiVhtertXt "forefinger needed to bid ? ^ or $."> more than the entered price. ssuuss S'r r.s and fa good faith, and the gelding fell to him A trainer with whom he was ao^u^J"* ed led the horse away to his shed and off J~" ed to look after him. The gelding the new owner found out. was entered for another race on the following day. So he told the trainer to run him right hack on the next dav and handed him $300 with which to bet^on the gelding at any old price, no matter how big or how little. , ?? -Think 1 11 ahleep late tomorrow he said to the trainer, an I won t sliee h racesh. but you run him an' bet on him all n* that Ave hundred, ghee. "At 7 o'clock the next evening the man with scarcely any Idea of what he liad done the day before, and absolutely no recollec tion of any of the incidents at the Aque duct race track, was poking aro"n^ii1.n^ 3 bachelor Hat. feeling P"*ty punk, but get ting ready to go out. He hadn t been out all of that day. While he was moping around for his bath robe, his flat bell tin kled. and the trainer to whom he had handed over the horse Btrolled in, looking pretty easy. ?' 'Why. hello there, mate, said the man who had been in bed with his head all day. 'What fetches you along? Got something good for tomorrow? I went out to the track yesterday, and. like an ass, or?n? a lot of rot on an empty stomach, and I ve been feeling like an abandoned bird's nest ail day. Sit down.' "The trainer looked him over with a laugh. " 'Sny. did you have anything left of that bundle when you reached home last night?" he asked the man. *" 'What bundle?' was the quick inquiry of the other, who was still In his bath robe, and the trainer explained about the roll he had won on the gelding, without, how ever. saying anything about the purchase r.f the horse. "The man in the bath robe picked up the coat he had worn on the day before, frisked it, and found about $1,500 more than he could account for. " 'Weil, here's another little piece to add to that.' said the trainer, and he tossed a rubber-banded bundle containing 15.500 at the stunned man in the dressing gown. " 'Your wl/iksy on that little gelding you bought yesterday and handed over to me to run for you today, you know," explained the trainer. 'He cops right over again to day at 10 to 1. and I got the hull $500 down on him straight at that price.' " 'Say, stop that dameejlot drooling and tell me what you're talking about.' the man who'd been In the subconscious state on the day before gasped, and then the trainer put him next to the transaction?I happened to be the trainer, by the way. "That little gelding is going to the races yet. and getting his tittle piece of the change every once in a while, and X be lieve his owner would match him against the best thing Jim Keene's got at equal weights, and then stand a tap that he'd beat the Keene crack doing anything from a hop to four miles." High Wages in Africa. From Appleton's Magazine. ? I had never got an African elephant or a hippopotamus or a rhinoceros, and I wanted to try. There is the whole story. This brought me about the middle of last October by ship to Zanzibar, and thence by another vessel some six hours to the north ward on the east coast of Africa to a town called Mombasa, the southernmost seaport of British East Africa and the beginning of the Uganda railway. It seemed neces sary to gather together for the outfit about thirty men, native blacks of all grades, various colors and marvelous types?por ters who carried daily on their heads sixty pounds of my own luggage and whatever each needed for himself besides, and dressed in the most remarkable costumes it has been my fortune to see. They will walk from fifteen to twenty miles a day. up hill and down, through jungle and over open flats, with as little trouble as I would I walk down 5th avenue. And in recom pense for all this labor these dusky gentle ' men get 11 cents per day and one and a half pounds of rice for the comfort of their insldes. " There were porters, a personal servant, a cook, gun bearers and a headman. The latter held the whole motley crew in the hollow of his hand, and ran them and me, and cheated us both with a frankness and thoroughness that was too genial to be ir ritating He stole and sold my aluminum cooking outfit that was the apple of my eye, and never so much as gave me a com mission. Why Bill Was Umpire. From Tit-Bits. A cricket match was being played in a meadow adjacent to Farmer Cowstlck's orchard, and the worthy agriculturist was at the wicket. There had been great difficulty about an umpire for this match, and when a boy from the local school for young gentlemen vol un-tecred to act he was gladly accepted. Presently, to all appearances, ?*ie farmer 1 was run out. but the umpire said no; and in the next over he was obviously stumped, but still the decision was in his favor, much to the wicket keeper's disgust. Then, when the farmer had compiled over fifty runs, he was palpably "leg before." ?' 'Ow n that?" called the bowler. The youthful umpire hesitated over his decision, and looked uncomfortable, with a nervous glance over lite ahoulJer In the direction of the orchard. Then a juvenile voice hurtled across tne meadow from the direction of the lane: "You can give the old cock 'out' now, Billy?we've got all the plums we want.'' The farmer didn't wait for the official de cision. nor did the umpire stay to give it A DOLLAR DIALOGUE THOSE Dolly Dialogues make agree able reading because the people who figure In them own something, live easy, and can afford to gab Just to while away the time. But the folks who participate in the Dollar Dialogues are Just stalling along on little or nothing, bo that they are bound to be more or less acidulous. Here, for example, is a sea sonable Dollar Dialogue: She?"They're showing the new fall tailor suits In the windows, and they're per-fect-ly bee-you-tl-ful He?"Say, let's give the dog days a chance to glide by before you begin to fan along this continuous-performance boost of yours for new togs, hey?" She?"Well, I guess I can open my mouth, can't X? I'm not asking for any thing?grand chance I'd have to get It if I did! I'm only mentioning that the new things are being shown." He?"Te-eh. But it's the opening gun ? all right enough. I'm Jerry to all that wistful stuff. Presently you'll begin to. look sad and sweet when you mention the new duds, and after that you'll be climbing up to the attic and staking yourself to a good cry about the rags you can't get, so that when I show up you can flash a red nose and swollen eyes on me, and then, when I ask you what all* you. you can burst into the glub-glub weeps again, and then " She?"I should think you'd be ashamed tq talk to me In that horrid, brutal way, when you know very well that I never have a rag to my back, and that. In com parison with most of my woman friends, I am all but naked, and " He?"Hello, I^idy Godiva:" She?"All right, you heartless thing, go right ahead and ridicule me, but there'll come a time when " He?"Tremolo music on the E string, with the mute on the fiddle?out-ln-the snow, woozy stuff?'After I'm Dead and Gone' gag " She?"Oh, vairy well, go right on and act like a perfect beast, even when you know that my whole life Is one sacrifice for you and when you " He?"Sacrifice! Oho!? Fine! And what's my life, when you swing Into that line of stuff? I s'pose I'm having a regular Coal Oil Johnny kind of a time all the time, eh? Sacrifice, hey? Well, I wonder what I'm lamming around for. smoking punk erino stogies until I'm afraid I'll get put off the open caTs for burning smudges In public, and what am I " She?"Oh, that's all that you brutes of men think about, smoking and drinking and gambling, and I'd be ashamed to " He?"Te-eh, I'm the sad dog of a gambling plunger all right. I sure am. Did a wild and fatuous piece of plunging the other day when I shucked off a whole dime and put It into a pool at the office on the outcome of the Futurity, and " She?"You men only think about things that you have no right at all to have, and that do you nothing but harm, while an unfortunate wife, that's been used to some, thing before her marriage, has to put up with " ] He?*"Well, now. far be it from me to make one of those phony Wellman starts from the place known as Hammerfest, but, as long as you've nudged In with that old crack about all that you were used to before you married and all like that, I'm bound to mooch up to the firing line and state that I never was able to see any particularly shlnv or resonant temple gongs on you at that Interesting stage of your life, and if you ever succeeded, at that time. In setting the Potomac on fire with the togs your people staked you to. why, I mifst have been rusticating out at Rockvllle \t_the time, for I didn't see the aqueous conhSlgration. and. say. If you '? She?"That's characteristic of you. Go right ahead and abuse my people and call them all of the mean names you can lay your tongue to. and If " He?"Say. wait a minute! Walt! Put a reef in that stuff, will yon? Who the dickens has said a word about your peo ple. and who " She?"Oh, you're too mean and cunning to mention them by name, but you Just attack them, by contemptible, underhand Innuendo, when you know very well that, considering poor papa's income, I was one of the best-dressed girls In Washington, so I was, before I married you, and it was the sad day for me, 'deed It was, when I turned a deaf ear to what mamma " He?" 'Turned a deaf ear,' hey? Say,, you don't want to let that Jawra Lean Jlbbey habit grow on you, you know. First thing you know you'll be 'turning on your heel' and 'drawing yourself up to your full height' and exclaiming. 'I have the blood of the Darrells In me!' and telling 'em to 'unhand inuh' and " She?"Oh, go right ahead: I am becoming used to it. You are becoming more vulgar and coarse every day of your life, only you can't see It. and you must mix with a nice crowd of associates downtown. I do think, to use such vile, slangy language In your own home in addressing your wife, and I " He?"Ye-eh. I'm downtown so much. I've got such a fat chance to mix with anybody downtown, haven't I. when my shoemaker's bank roll makes a noise like a creaky coal wagon every time I dip into It for a nickel to pay my car fare home from the office, and, say. If you " She?"Huh! You're lucky to have car fare. That's more than I have, or as much, anyway. Yesterday, when I was downtown with Mrs. Copltt, I was mortified almost to death when I couldn't Invite her to luncheon with me at the Fall River House, where she was doing her .shopping, and " He?"Mortified, were you? Well, say, you'd look fine and make a hit with your self. wouldn't you, buying two or three dol lars' worth of luncheon grub for that Cop ltt doll when her husband yanks down *8,000 or 110.000 a year Just as easy as grabbing fox grapes off the vine, and she nails the most of It. at that, for he's one of these mollusky mugs with bamboo In the place of a spine that cornea a-runnln' every time she snaps her fingers, and If I were a lob like that " ghe?"And only this forenoon Mrs. Stick emupsky came around to ask me to buy a ticket for a moonlight excursion to be given by her guild for the benefit of the Zam beslland Mission, and I didn't have a cent, and I had to tell her that I didn't have a thing in the house but a $20 bill, and then the horrid creature grinned at me and told me that she could change the twenty and would be glad to change It, and then I had to shuffle around and pretend that I couldn't find the bill, and It was the most sickening thing Imaginable to have the mis erable. gloaty old thing sit there grinning at me for she knew perfectly well, of course'that I didn't have the half dollar to buy the ticket with, and I never felt-?" He?"Yes, It's cru-el, I know, that you can't hand out four bits to every old blowse that trudges In and tries to stick you up for It, but If " . ghe?"That Just shows how common and vulgar you are becoming when you apply such terms to a perfectly sweet and lovely woman like Mrs. Stlckemupsky? He?"Hey, wait a minute again! Didn t vou Just get through calling her a borrld creature and a miserable, gloaty old thing, and " . She?"Why, how dare you say such a thing! How can you sit there and delib erately tell such awful ones ? You ought to be ashamed of yourself to say that I d ap ply such terms to such a perfectly dear old thing as Mrs. " . , . He "Oh, you didn't call her a horrid creature and a miserable, gloaty old thing, then? Well. I've sure got to knock off this habit of using hasheesh, I can see that, for If you didn't say those things about her-? She "That's It. go right ahead and abuse all of my friends, and call them vile, vul gar names, and after a while it 11 get so that I won't have a single, solitary friend left in the world. They'll be afraid to come to the house for when they do come and you're here 'you sit and openly Jeer at them, or, If you don't do that, you plump Into a chair and huddle yourself up in It and never open your mouth to say a word, until they are bound to feel that they are not welcome, and It's got so that I hate to ask anybody to come and call on me, for I don't like to have them see, as they're bound to see. how you treat me, and it wouldn't be so bad if you treated me that way only when we were alone, b-b-but w-w-when y-y-you b-b-begln t-t-to d-d-do It b-b-before f-f-folks wh-wh-what are th-th-they to th-th-thlnk. and I wish I w-w-was d-d-dead and out in Oak Hill, 'deed I d-d-do, and etc., etc., etc., etc. Exit "He." limping, and slow curtain. London's Perils. L?dy Violet Grerllle. In London Graphic. To elderly timid people London Is no longer a pleasant place of residence. The streets have become a labyrinth of horror and difficulty, a region of hideou? sounds and foul smells. With motor 'buses top pling over on the sidewalk, and private motors knocking down lampposts and im pinging on the shelters, the unfortunate citizen knows not whither to wend his trembling s^ps. BUCKET SHOP MICROBE THE different between * straight-out "bucket shop" and a "wire house" Is the difference between tweedle dum and tweedledee. The straight-out bucket-shop boss takes the chance with Ills bank-roll and buckets the play himself; that Is to say, he deals the cards Just about the same as a faro bank man does, and kites along with the market, but always with a holdout for himself. The fellow who runs the wire house lays off the play with some big central bucket shop, with representatives In many cities and towns; tliat la to say. he sends the sucker coin along by telegraph to be bu eke ted by the big shop. To the chap who plays the market In bucket shop or wire house there's no difference worth mentioning. He's in bad either way. and the people he hands his hard-wrung money to have an ace in the hole at each and every stage of the route. There used to be more so-called w!re houses In Washington than bucket shops. But a lot of the biggest of the central bucket shops have "failed" within recent years. So that the establishments In \\ ash Ington that advertised themselves to be wire houses really had no wires at all, many of them connecting them with cen tral bucketing plants, but did their own bucketing as the money came along. Ana it may be believed, that with no lay-on facilities, except legitimate stock-brokerage plants, these bucket shops were out to keep every nickel that drifted toward thetr tills, and that the people who went up against the game were, to put It in racing verbiage, trying to root home 10 to 1 shots ail the time. The Washington bucket shopr, always got a big play when there was a bull market, and most of the bucket-shop people here would have made big money had it not been for their habit of frlvoling with the market on their own account, and thus at tempting to whipsaw the game and beat it both ends from the middle?the old story of the race-track bookmaker, who. with a perfect, living cinch. Isn't content with the same, but gets to gambling on his own "picks." till his big percentage as a straight bookmaker is wiped out and he is thrust down among the busted ones . For a considerable period the bucket shops of Washington had a habit of S?lng broke and of beginning business again wltn more or less humorous regularity and a fine insouciance on the part of their pro prietors. One man who ran a bucket shop here went broke five times in as many years, carrying the coin of his sucker players along with him each time But every time when he got a-golng again they all came right back to him and handed him some more. It's hard to daunt the chap who gets the bucket-shop microbe. He may be a pretty smart fellow In everything else but when it comes to his pet weakness he's just credulity with an upper-case C. Some of them, however, it must ba said, did become sort of wise, so to speak, with regard to this bucket-shop man who got so well into the failing habit. They got him sort of doped out. so that they experienced a hunch as to when he was due to .ail again, and. when they got that hunch, they took their custom elsewhere, in order to give the faller a chance to fall and start up again before risking their piking bets on the market. Then he'd fall, as per schedule, and start up again, and begin to do his little thousand shares or so a day, and they'd come back to him and stick they got the hunch that lie was framing up another failure. ... Beginning about a dozen years ago a lit tie group of departmental clerks Oia mighty well, with a lucky break. In buck ing first tho bucket shops and later the straight exchange houses of Washlngrton. It is well known that one man did run so small a shoestring as a $10 note Into an absolute $1,000,000 In the progress of fl\e years of extraordinary successful stoc* ? M. M "I. tak^n away from this man during the Northern Pacific squeeze a few years ago. The fact that he was caught napp:ng and cleaned on that occasion dian t alter the fact, In the minds, of the scores of Wash ington market pikers who had been daz zled by his success, th%t he d got hold o^ the million after a long Initiation as a piker. It would, or course, be impossible to say Just how many W aBhlngton men got the market gambling bug front hearing stories about the $10-to-$1.000.000 man's luck, but there must have been many scores of them. Many of these went on fighting the old thing for years, so that the adver tisement gained by the blackboard people through this one big winner was an endur ing one. The very calamity which forced this man to the wall led to another advei tlsement of the stock-speculating game that brought a large number of Washington women Into the market. A ^ ashlngton boarding house mistress In a very moderate state of prosperity happened to have 300 shares of Northern Pacific stock hidden away at the bottom of an old trunk, "he stock had been given to her by an aged railroad lobbyist In return to her kindness to him during a severe spell of sickness. Looking upon the stock as bejng about on a par with a lot of fake gold mining stock that she had in the course of her boarding housekeeping career taken from insolvents In lieu of the price of their board, she had put the N. P. stock away without much thought. But she got $000 a share for her 200 shares when the squeeze came off. and when she began to ride around Washington In a devil wagon about the size of an ocean-going tug a good many other Wash ington boarding house proprietresses and their women friends began to sit up and take notice. And a large number of them broke into the market with a clatter. What happened to most of them Is a sad story. A lot of foolishness Is heard In other cities about how soft It Is for fellows who ar? able to get market tips at the Capitol in Washington. A stenographer employed In one of the committee rooms of the Sen ate was talking about this end of it the other day. "One time last session." he said, "I took a market flyer on the strength of a remark made by the old man," referring to the senator who heads the committee, "to one of his callers. It was my first whack at the market?and It'll probably be my last. "One of his constituents was calling upon the senator at the committee room. They fanned over the political situation back home, and when the caller, a well-to-do in dividual. was about to take his leave, he said to the old man: " 'What's good on the list, senator? What's a buy?' "The senator tetered back and forth on his toes, looking kpowlng. for a minute or so. winked solemnly at his caller, and said to him: " "Better buy a little Caviare and Cod fish.' naming a .railroad stock that had been pretty active for some time. 'That ought to go tip ten points within the next two weeks or bo.' "Now. this sounded pretty good to me. The old man's In the market bigger than a wolf all the time, and makes no secret of It. either, like some of the upper house legis lators. "I had $2,000 saved up. T>uring the lunch hour that day I dropped downtown to a Washington stoek exchange house and bought Caviare and Codfish with my sav ings. putting up what looked like a good margin. "Well, I'd Just slipped the money across the counter and was lighting a cigar, pre liminary to watching the blackboard for a while, when the man who had taken my money said to me. said he: " 'Gimme s'more money." "Fine, quick action, that, wasn't It? 'Td been wiped out while lighting a smoke, that's all. I didn't give the man any more margin money because I didn't have any. "That afternoon when the senator came Into the committee room I mentioned the little matter to him. I've been with him for a good many years, so that I can rise to a question of the highest personal privilege with him when I want to. " 'Fine tip, that one, on Caviare and Codfish, that you gave to So-and-So this morning, senator,' I said to him, mention ing the name of his constituent. 'Great, wasn't It?' said the old boy, rub bing his hands cheerfully. 'That son-of-a gun Is the worst enemy I have on earth, and that's why I gave It to him. I calcu late that 8tock'U go off about twenty points within the coming fortnight.' " 'Well.' I told htm. It went off four of those points In Just about four seconds after I d bought Into It to the tune of two thousand this noon hour. And this will help me a lot toward purchasing that house and lot that I've got In mind, won't It?' "The old boy leaned back In his seat and roared very enjoyably over It, and then he consolingly told me that he'd see that the amount was made up to me, and It was made up. But the next time I mooch into the market?if there's going to be any next time?I'm going to come pretty near know ing whether the old gentleman is sldetrack tng an enemy by giving him something to bits into or whether the thing he mentions Is really 'meant.' " It has been calculated that fifty million dollars' worth of standtng timber Is de stroyed annually in the United States. IN DEAH OLD NC WITH THE PRir Good Behavior of the Big String Bean a Contrast. AVOIBIHO CRIME SUSPICION Qccsip Confidential in Office of the Editor aa to Sellers?Da-da to Ticket Speculator. Speeltl Correspondence of TTlf Stnr. NEW YORK. September 6, 1007. THACKERAY Bald that London "dear ly lovwl a lord." Hud he lived he might have written a whimsical chapter on how dearly deah old Noo Yawk loves a princeling. This populace assuredly did rise to?"fall for," In fact the elon gated great-great-grandson of that conniving Bernadotte who, starting out as a rookie In Napoleon's army, wound up on a vi king's throne. We mobbed him with our adulation, in truth. We purred for him. groveling asked him If he liked us. if he approved of our women and their looks. If he thought our hotels were fit to be seen, if he considered That our form of govern ment would last a little while longer, if he regarded us as possessing any Innate sense of refinement; and many other timid queries of the same general character, the answers to which were awaited with fever ish and breathless expectancy by the Inde pendent and stiff-necked Noo Yawkers. Spe cial editions of the pink and green and mauve and cerise and Alice-blue evening newspapers were rattled off, each contain ing wholly different versions of what the loose-Jointed Swede thought of things here, and the Noo Yawkers who profess the profoundest contempt for effete monarchical Institutions schemed and contrived to gef themselves invited to one or other of the multitudinous expensive feeds which were provided for the young man while he lin gered In this neighborhood. Every time he climbed Into his motor car in front of the Hotel Astor, Times Square was clutter ed up with eight or ten thousand busy and kingdom-despising Manhattanltes, all eager to get the most momentary peek at the al tltudinous young Swede. You have already been told how the colossal Saturday bunch at Coney Island so mobbed the tall thin young chap that a mighty cordon of cops had to whack a" way out for him with their clubs to take his life out of Jeopardy. It must be said for the agreeable ? and pleasant-mannered young king-to-be from the "J"-less land of the Swedes that he comported himself with decency and dignity throughout the period of his visit here. Maybe that can be attributed to his plebeian ancestry. Had he dated the beginning of his pedigree back to the crusades?well, the big town hasn't forgot, nor will it soon forget, the way another "sprig of royalty" ?as the anarchlstifal papers put It?be haved when he was In New York a few years back. The Duke Boris of Russia was that gay and gladsome, but by no means green sprig. Boris was a royal clip and no mistake. He went at the Tenderloin like a Berserk chasing a mountain mutton on the hoof. and. when -the whirl was all over, what he hadn't seen of the simple pastoral life in and around the "where it la" portion of this town could have been rolled up in a gunnysack and deposited In the back-yard ash-barrel. Boris made the periodical swoops of the renowned "Scotty" upon New York look like a rtde on a hay wagon around the outskirts of Oskaloosa, Kan., or Eagle Falls, Iowa. When Boris went away from here, the Americans who had been officially deputed to show him what was In process of coming off around here were obliged to bestow themselves In sundry and divers psychopathic wards, to recover from the delirium tremens as best they might, and then the royal cut-up went j up to Newport and tore so many holes' dtit of that place that for a long time Newport looked as If It had toe?n the bull's eye for a bombardment of meteors. To re duce the matter to its commonest denomi nator. the Grand Duke Boris wasn't nice when he was In these parts, and even the saffronest of the Ww York papers found It wholly Impossible to print even his daily and nightly Itinerary In New York, much less a recital of his little diversions. So that the behavior of the clean and wholesome young man from Sweden looked good to the New Yorkers who remembered the hoydenish (and then a littlek conduct of Boris, and it may have been that it was a general comparison of this sort that caused the town to make so much of this latest visitor in whose veins runs the blood of the anointed. I Democratic sort of" a youth, too. this Prince Wllhelm of Sweden?which oughtn't I to be considered remarkable, remembering | that he is a Bernadette, and recalling, in this connection, that there is such a thing I as reversion to ancestral types. Whatever else he may be. he certainly isn't haughty, and he possesses that rare thing among personages of kingly blood, a sense of humor. , , He was making his way from the Hotel Astor entrance to his automobile one fore noon, when a weazened, sipudge-faced newsboy, who had climbed up on a lamp post. the better to have a look, catted out I to the prince In a shrill, squeaky voice: ! "Hey, y' big string bean, ye're all right, see?" . . And the prince, who is sir feet four In height, and thin In proportion, looked up at the boy draped precariously around the lamppost and grinned a thoroughly under standing and pleasing grin. An Ounce of Precaution. Some curious manifestations of fear on the part of men have followed that so termed "crime wave" which was so much talked about over here during the dog days. It may have been a "crime wave," and then, again, it may have been Just the ordi ' nary daily bunch of occurrences of its sort magnified into a "crime wave" by the ochresque afternoon papers of New York. But, whatever It was, it has had the ef fect of making a whole lot of decent men in this town exceedingly nervous with re spect to their attitude toward and their contiguity with women and girls. There Isn't the slightest manner of doubt that, when the "crime wave" nonsense was at its height over here, scores of men were unjustly accused and arrested and mobbed while being arrested by ignorant folk who'd permitted themselves to be wrought up by the carefully built-up stories In the yellow papers about attacks on women and girls. It has now come to rass that men keep ing little shops are actually afraid to wait upon young wumen and girl customers when the latter enter the shops alone. A few days ago I was passing along 7th avenue near 4Sth street, when a girl of eleven or twelve started to enter a clean looking little bakeshop near the corner. The man who runs the shop was standing at the doorway. "What do you want, little girl?" 'he asked the child. " "A loaf of bread." she said. "Well, go in and get it," he told the girl, not moving from his position outside the door. The child entered the store, got her loaf of bread, wraped it up herself, and, coming out, gave the nickel to the shop man. , I knew the baker, and I commented to him upon the curious performance. "You're tired, then, eta?" said I. "So that you let folks wait on themselves nowadays is that it?" "That kind of folks," he promptly re plied. "And I'm not a bit tired, either. But I don't want to get kicked to pieces by a mob and then sent to Sing Sing for ten or fifteen years, and all for nothing, like so many fellows around this town are getting It right along lately." Three days before, he told me, a little girl of the neighborhood had entered a meat shop of a struggling butcher in a small way of business a few doors down the street. The ohtld was of Jewish parentage. It took the butcher some little time to prowl around In his refrigerator and find the piece of meat the child had been instructed to get. and while he was busy at this Job a partly intoxicated, elderly woman. In a quarrel some humor, entered the butcher shop. She wanted to be waited on instantly, did the woman in the nagging humor, and when she had to wait till the little girl had been fixed out she strode to the door, calling out: "Th' thavin' omadhoun Is too busy inakin' goo-goo eyes at th' young 'un t' pay anny attlnshun t' dacint folks." Her wholly unwarranted and unjust re mark was overheard by a number of mar keting women w*\o were passing the store. >0 YAWK sICE AND OTHERS ami they stopped to peek In The butcher tl,e Hct ?f handing tho Jewish ?hild her change when half a dnmen of these ""mm itonned In upon ?,im .,,,,1 i"?!ast ,lni wlt,> tlx?ir market basket* shrilly accusing him of having he,,, squeezing the child's hand" while he was nalm Th C1h?n*" ,n<* ?>*r outstretched ' The defenseless butcher couldn't say anything for hInwlf .n w thil'r fn-n' T'1^- rouW h" "???"? f'-r their frensied clamoring and pre?entl\ m.n *y by a hor(5'* "f Ignoiant men and women from the street, ami the r ot was on. The butcher was ki-ko,i and ?hf*?t??,.Ul.h l",, V" into w'' thrown down. stamped on lus kicked* in h*i to, fragments. aJI of hlH te-tli kicked In. his clothes pulled off of hltn and abused most shamefully before the w.U'n rn'rce i polU'*.Ko1 "lon* Then, hearing <>,? flerce accusations of the moh. the .ops took a hack at him with their clubs. and tlx butcher was a limp mass of blood a.id or m" m fo hospital All !L?, *11 t,ma the level-headed little Jewish gtrl was protesting and screaming that the man hadn't done anything In the world to ,l?Trt n-!Ur h,n,rrlhl,> mistreatment, but lie, pleadings for him were disregarded. Tardy Recommendation. After the frenzy was all over and the man taken away?his shop v. ;,s stripped and dismantled by the rioters all of the women and girls In the neighborhood canto forward and said that the butcher who had been the victim of this abhorrent treatment had l?een the cause of comment on account Of hts reserved and aloof but alwais res ?r!n .K "t ?"s female .Werners, and the men of the neighborhood. to? had to own up that the attack on him had been made on unimaginably aUm grounds. con s dering .os unbroken record as a decent ciiisen and the circumstances the ohv \ et that man is still In the hospital, hover ing between life and death, and. if he does recover, he will txj tnalnicd for life Mis "l!?1. . Wor?? than lhat. he Is still held In bond for trial at general sessions for "assaultIng a child." "None of that for mine." wound up tho baker. In telling me this atorv. which 1 have since verified as to all of its facts \\ hen any female under sixty years of age comes along to my place, alone, while this crime wave' Idiocy lasts, that female going to wait on herself, and me ou the outside, or she goes somewhere else to c-t w,BntM *nd i m "tuki..* to this J if it ruins my business, and it stands a good chance of ruining my business at that But better be put out of business than tho -Mhr.V *?" ?ntJ 1 ,ou!d?'t help but agio with the mans view. A well-known magazine writer of my ac quaintance who was assigned a fortnight or so ago to investigate and write an ac count of this so-called "crime wave" In New \ork told me yesterday that, of the forty-eight cases that he has already run down and analyzed to the final bottom 'act in which men were accused of these crimes against women and girls. Just three and no more, of the cases were supported' by bed-rock evidence against the accused men. This magazine man. a trained and expert sifter of facts of this sort, was firmly of the opinion fliat all of the other forty-five cases out of the Xprty-elght ha had worked on were accusations built up out ou-t of the sudden ferocity of mobs and when he gets through with his sifting job. he s going to say so in print in a "crime wave ' magazine article, to be filled with facts an>. figures that ought to be illumina To Boom a Seller. A few afternoons ago I met up with a highly commercialized and cynical publisher of fiction. I found him leaning back In his desk chair, hands clasped behind his head. In a deep state of reflection. "I'm in a quandary," he said with ue most refreshing candor. "It's this way I am Just about to publish six new novels by well-known American fictionlsts. All of these novels are equally bad, hopeless, hog washish?all of them the moat perfect truck and rubbish you ever heard of in your born days. Now, I've got to boom one of "em to a 'six best seller.' of course; that stands to reason, and I'm going to so boom one of em. But i don't know which to boom into a six best s lier, As I aa.y, they're all equallj mediocre, if not imbecile, but they're the best to be had. Now, I can't boom 'em all into six best sellers?It wou.ln't be th? square thing to the publishing trade for ma to have all of the six best sellers, now would It? And so I've got to make a pick. And If I boom one particularly to that six best seller goal, the other five author per sons will get sore and sulk on me. Eheu? It s the problem, sure enough. But I've got to make a six best seller pick right soon, for It's the booming season. Dunno but what I might as well shake dice to And out which of 'em It is to be." And this Is an almost verbatim report of not? pubIl8her s words- Deliciously frank. It's Good-bye to the Speculator. There's basis for a faint glimmering of hope that maybe, at some time In the problematical future, the ticket speculator nuisance, which has been such an abomi nation in New York for many years, will be abolished. At least two theaters, opened for the season last week, made a good-looking be ginning toward that desirable consumma tion. These theaters not onlv exhibited large signs in front of their doors, to the general essence that tickets bought from speculators would not be accepted by the ticket-taker, but they stationed large, husky, uniformed men with megaphones at their entrances, and up and down the Broadway walk for some distance on either irtde of tb? theaters, and these persons with-megaphones bawled something like ?? passers-by: "You buy tickets from speculators at your own risk. You're giving away your money ff you do it. Such tickets absolutely Kill not be taken at the door. People buy Ing tickets from speculators are followed to the theater door and the ticket-taker la in formed and such tickets are refused. There are still some seats to be had at the box office at the regular rates." and sev eral other clear-cut phrases of this sort. In which the megaplionists had been carefully rehearsed. The megaphone system had a decided ef fect. Polks who were on the point of buy ing tickets from the pavement-obstructing and badgering sharks caught themselves when they understood the gist of the m. go phpned announcements and went inside and got their seats. The ticket speculators were "stuck wit' deir papes" for the week's business, and their profane lamentations around the corner-loafing spots of Broad way were distressing to listen unto. | Now the uncrushable Oscar Hatnmerstcin announces that he's going to have "these ticket crooks." as he calls the ticket specu ; lators. "pinched for obstructing the sl'ie walk and for being vags without any visi ble means of support." to quote him again, if they line up in front of his theaters, an.l nobody who knows Hammersteln has the least doubt In the world that if he gets into a throat-to-throat scrap with the specula tors they'll be the deceased ones in the pit when it's all over, for the Irrepressible Oscar has never yet lost a fight with any body or anything. But the New Yorkers, who stand for more imposition than any other folks on the civilized globe and who for years have been digging up three and four and five dollars apiece to speculators for two-dollar seats entitling them to see ten-cent shows? the New Yorkers will believe that the ticket speculator nuisance Is at an end when they are no longer grabbed and pawed over by the 6harp-beaked pullers-ln who flock in front of most of the Broadway theaters, and not before. CLARENCE L. CtTLLEN. Racquets. Frnm the Onting Magszlne. There is a good deal of simplicity about the game of racquets, but it is so fast that one has to move into position rapidly, hit rapidly and recover rapidly. The m i-. e ments of a player must be almost instinc tive. This Is the reason why tl.ose who learn the game very young have better prospects. The greatest mistake of men who take up racquets In this country Is that they often learn bad form at the start, which only the most careful practice will enable them to ever overcome. As a matter of fact, a good many of our players do not care to take the time for such prac tice. Bad foot work and a poor wrist are the cause of the downfall of nearly alt of our second and third-class players. Plenty of men. physically well-equipped for the most strenuous racquets, will peg along fo? years, and never learn the game properly, simply because they began badly, and either have never taken the trouble, or d > not know how to correct their faults.