Evening star. [volume], March 29, 1914, Image 48

About Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972

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1
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WASHINGTON, 1> 0., SUNDAY mORNING, MARCH 29, 1914.
1W SEAM
bosih in fc?urse there ,snt
cSTT^^^*1?much question ;
about the man
*V/ X (fA lA who invented April j
I/ j 111 \ Fools' day. Hell
I U ft | was the cousin of t
U J 1 the man-who-rocks- '
fl I I the-boat, and the {
I 4^V1 I / ha-lf brother of the 1
JA ^J\ //individ ual who 1
vwl // didn t"kriow-il_was- i
J/ loaded. He broke ,
ve*V^-*>e loose during the '
middle ages, one happy afternoon, and ;
clad in his buskins and bearing a mace
he went forth to have his way with the
Goddess Jollity.
He had a merry time. He walloped sev- ! *
ral innocent bystanders over the head j'
with the mace (which weighed twelve i
pounds*, and succeeded in putting the fear i \
of mayhem into the hearts of a number 1
of friends for whom he had been laying j
quite a while. And when he had bumped .
the bumpkins and smashed the standards t
of polite Jiving he retired home and wen. <
to h*?H
Came then a number of young men
with bladders and confetti. They had <
their sway and disappeared into the his- '
toriea! rnists without leaving much trace
of their going.
And finally there came the real April
fool bogie. He was a man wlo was onethird
Spanish inquisitor, one-third devil
and one-third dyspeptic*. And he was the '
one who devised all of the modern little
"tricks" by which the youth of our country
entertain themselves when the glorious
1st of April gives them a right to commit
assault w:ith intent to kill, or any other
crimes without fea.r of the police.
Why did this mythical individual inaugurate
such a custom? Whir did this unnamable
bogie attempt such heathenish 1
practices? That is what the Observer set
forth to ascertain.
Young men might think that trailing
this bogie to his primal haunts Is a simple
thing. The learning of his reasons, almost
anybody will tell you. is one of the
easiest feats in the world. But let us see,
let us see. Time alone will bring forth j
the fa"ts. And we must have time.
The Observer went into the office of a j
broker. He is the fattest, most comfort- <
able looking broker in Washington. Look- ^
ing at him. after you have bought stock
on a ten-point margin, you are convinced <
that you cannot lose. You say to yourself
that this man is one of tne few sta- j
b!e citizens of the country. Stable? Why s
a whole flock of stables only begins to indicate
his solidity. He measures sixty- s
eight inches around the w^ist* and possesses
four separate and distinct chins. *
When the Observer came into the brok- ^
er's office the broker rose. The Observer
was pleased. It is not often that men s
bound out of their chairs to meet him. j
'I." said che broker, hoarsely, "am go- j
. ing to fire that boy. ' j ?
"What bop?" asked the Observer. I j
"That cussed, whiffletrced. office boy of j
mine." responded the broker with emo- j
All tii? time he was reaching: in a gencral
southeasterly direction and tugging 1
at himself. 1
"What seems to be the trouble?'* in- o
quired the Observer. s
*? >
* * y
*'1 he trouble." raid the broker, with
r
tiiat direct simplicity which comes with ! j
great sorrow. * is that the office boy put a j
pin in ray chair."* J g
"What?" g
"The first time," continued the broker,
**l thought it was a coincidence. 1 said 1
nothing. Then I sat on it again. And I c
will sw e^ir it was the same identical pin. <
I am no stickler. 1 know that boys will '
be boys. But no flapdoodled buckwheat- | *.
ed. gaily ranged, imitation of a demented j
gorilla is going to stick pins into mc I
three times in succession without my
saying something about it."
He giowered in a grim, triumphant sort
of way. ]
"I will tire, him." said the broker with J
relish, "as soon as he gets back, furthermore.
I think I will kick him out of
the office. It will help my feelings
some.*"
This was clearly an unpropitious time
to come in for an April fool discussion.
But the Observer, knowing that worse 1
things might befall him. plunged in.
"Why." said he. "do you think anybody
invented April Fools' day?"
The broker smlbd sardonically.
Ydu haven't got the fool hunch that
April fools' day only occurs on the 1st
of April, have you?" he asked.
"That was my impression," replied the
Observer modestly.
"Well." said the broker, "you are
wrong, clean wrong.
"I don't get that."
"Then." said the broker, "I will have j
to speak brutally. April Fools' day occurs
wherever you happen to have an
office boy around. Tt isn't a custom. It 1
is a barbaric youthful habit. And if i
you'll wait until that boy of mine comes |
in T'll show you how to cure it."
>
There was a quiet spell while the
broker rubbed the place where the pin
had been. That broker was evidently
all cut up.
"Yes." "he resumed, after he had patted
himself, "this idea of April Fools' day is
jnerely an excuse for three hundred and
sixty-five days of foolishness. I suppose
that boy of mine thought he was smart.
But "
But this sounded too ominous. It was
like the happy thoughts which Bluebeard ]
might have had on preparing to behead
the lady of his choice. In short, It was
rough stuff.
Not wishing to witness the murder of
the office boy th^ Observer stole away.
But as he went out of the door he could
i-tlll hear the broker:
"Just wait until that boy of mine comes
back. I am going to day him alive I" 1
As an antidote for the broker?and
there is no better antidote than the one t
corner policeman. The policeman, who is
as Celtic as County Cork, was waving a
huge club and frowning ominously upon ;
the universe. ,
"I want to ask you a question?" said
the Observer. j
"Phawt," demanded the policeman, 'has \
happened to you?" J
"Nothing," replied the Observer. "I '
am merely trying to learn some facts
which I believe will be of general interest.
3 want to get your theory of the
reason why the original April Fools*
da'- bogie framed up such a series of
outrageous trick*? upon his fellow citizens."
"IIov yez been drinking?" asked the
policeman.
"I hov not." replied the Observer, dropping
into the vernacular.
"Thin," said - the policeman. "Oi will
explain to vez."
*
* *
" 'Twas a man who had the fear of
himself in his heart who brought e.bout
* the April Fools* day. Ye do not under- ]
stand? 'Tis natural ye should not. Oi 1
will explain. 1
"This man came to the land of England
with a fear, aye a knowledge, that j
he could do nothing by ordinary methods. ?
i
I OF THE OIF
He knew that he had to sthart something:.
He knew that if he wint his ordinary
way he didn't have enough talent or
ability to accomplish a thing.
"So he said to himself, sez he, 'Oi'll
idd a touch of life to this here dump.
Oi'll make 'em remember me if they don't
:io nawthin* else.'
"That, son, he did. Hp proceeded to ;
reed green peppers to childer. and give
the blank paper love letters to famous
ivimmen. In a little while they was
talkin' about him as they had never j
talked before about anybody. And he j
was the leadin' fad of the day. He' was J
a, great hit. Oh. vis!
" Phwat good did it do?' says you. 1
" A great deal of good,' says I.
" 'How* so?' says you.
"'By givin' the people something toi
think about.' says I. And I am right i
ibout it, as you will agree if you are j
fining- 10 imnK over ine maner.
"And phawt's more, thim kind of peo- j
ile are still alive today and they are i
makin' as much trouble as they Iver
iiade before. They are the kind of peo- i
:>le who can't do things themselves. They I
ire the hopeless stakes in the wharf of j
:he warrld's creation, and they are tryin*
ilways to-justify themselves by criticism* j
hings that they don't know a thing ;
ihout."
"But." protested the Observer, "that .
loesn't justify or-explain the cruelty. It
s the cruelty of the original April fools' |
nan that I am trying to analyze." j
* *
"Cruelty," said the Irish policeman,
gently, "is only a term. None of us I
really know what it means. We think
that we are kind when we are cruel and
cruel when we are kind. Philosophythere
is a tine warrd fer yez?don't knowno
more about it than wc do.
"Ignorance. I'd say. is the trouble at
the beginning. Whin we don't understand
the theory of another man we
want at once to take him to pieces. A
few of us see through the shams of life
and into the true meaning of things.
Most of us. though, are devoted to the
externals.
"And yurre April fools' man is simply
a type of what we face. He is one of
Lhim. Doubtless he hated people because
he didn't understand them."
There came a beautiful pause. It was
broken.
"Ye drunken bum. move on or I'll arresht
yez." said the policeman. He had
lixed a basilisk glare upon an elderly
party who was weaving around without j
netting anywhere. The elderly party cvi- j
iently had it figured out that he was to :
:race the lines in a Chinese puzzle.
"Move on," cried the policeman again.
> minously.
"Isn't that somewhat of an April fools'
ioke on the old man'.'" asked the Observer.
timidly.
"Not a bit." replied the policeman,
hortly. "the old fellow's drunk."
And so the Observer took leave of the
cind-hearted policeman, wondering just
vhat the grouch of the original April
fools' day man was and whether it had
urvived dow n to the present ago
The Observer went to a candy store,
t was a pleasant little shop, filled with
cnickknacks of different kinds and the
iweet perfumery that chocolate fudge
nakes in the cooking.
*
* *
And there was a girl there. There was
he sun of the summer in her hair and
he light of the violets and dusk in her
yes. She was a wisp of dreaminess, a
hadow of heavenly sweetness. Seeking
Cew York vernacular, the Observer would
lave called her a "bear." Seeking the
hivalry of Sir Walter Scott and Gen.
Robert E. Lee, the Observer would have
eferred to her as "one of the noblest
specimens of womanhood that has ever
jraeed this fair and wonderful land."
How be it. she was there. And in
nore senses than one.
The Observer approached her. He took
>ff his hat and made a bluff at straightming
his hair.
"Will you tell me," he asked, "what
,'our theory is of the man who invented
Vpril Fools' day?" ( }
The lovely vision tossed her head. \ I
"Huh?" she replied. j
"I seek to learn what the reason foi ,
INFLUENCE O
ON THE MOl
HOWEVER unsettled may be the
question of Parisian versus
American leadership in fashions,
one thing is certain, the tango's influence
is supreme. If any further proof
were require'1 it was to be found in
the Paquin models a an exhibition
last week, for in at least two-thirds
of the gowns style had been made
subservient to comfort in dancing.
All winter the dance has been play
ing havoc with pretty gowns ana preventing
their wearers from exploiting
the grace that comes with freedom of
movement, and certain teachers, between
creating new steps, have been
lesperately trying to solve the mighty
[jroblem of suitable dress for the dance.
"Suitable." said Mrs. Herz, who is
the moving spirit of the popular Herz
ilances, "suitable dress means dress
that conforms to the dictates of fashlon's
latest whims and at the same
time permits of free movement of the
body. It is a difficult proposition in
these days of tight skirts, although,
except for the skirts, fashion seems to
have played right into the dancers'
hands. Bodices, you know, couldn't
have been more practical for the purpose,
roomy and sleeveless, or else
arge of sleeve, waists likewise large
and hips unconfined.
*
* *
'In order to dance well and enjoy
it, one must have perfect control of
till the muscles, and to have this control
utmost freedom is essential. Now
the dresss of this winter, even slashed
is many of them have done, have not
been satisfactory. They were bound
to catch somewhere, if not at the
ankles, then at the knees, and the results
have been distressing. It is cx-j
pensive to be compelled to wear a dif'erent
dress every night, and so many,
so very many, women dance somewhere
every night.
"I have designed literally hundreds
of dansant frocks in my mind, but
most of them are slight improvements
upon what has already beer passed
upon. What is really needed is a skirt
pouched or In some other way expanded
at the knees."
"What a pity these are not the days
of the moyen age." was suggested.
"Precisely." echoed Mrs. Hers, quickly,
"that's the idea. I have evolved
one now on those lines. In fact, the
one 1 have on pretty nearly tills requirements.
Do you like it?"
It was indeed charming, and when
Mrs. Herz analyzed it. really it did
seem to leave nothing to be desired.
A black chiffon cloth, gathered eveny
all around the top, was finished
from a line two inches above the knees
with black satin, and then the fullness
drawn into a box plait in front without
spoiling the line. This rlait was
caught loosely from the under side an
inch or two below its starting point,
J
mm of af
'' 'x
fROOUClfiCr S5VERAU C>
V4WMEV Qf UTiRATORe, ?//
t?e observer, fued /x
ftTHP ^
enoter K%
Rose ?|l
?I ?
the original April Fools' day man's
grouch was against the universe," said
the Observer. "Perhaps I am not plain
in my words. T am trying to learn
just why any man should desire to inflict
cruelty upon Iris friends in a misguided
sense of happy humor."
"We have," said the young lady, "some
splendid caramels which are 30 cents a
pound. Or would you prefer some of
our special old home taffy, which is I
30 cents a pound?"
The Observer waved his arm wildly.
"You do not get me," he cried.
"You can't make all that fuss in here."
said the vision, haughtily. "I don't
even know you."
*
* *
"Holy Caesar!" shouted the Observer.
"T know that. T want to get your ideas
on April Fools' day."
Into the beautiful bovine countenance
there sprang a ray of thought. Not
much, to be sure, but still a sign of life.
"I know what you want." she gurgled.
"You want some of those lovely candiesi
we have just gotten in. Twenty-five
cents a pound. The insides, you know,
are filled with pepper. The person eats
the candy and he doesn't get the pepper
until the candy is well chewed up. Then
it is too late to get it out of his mouth.
He lias to spit, and spit, and spit "
"You don't happen to be related to
Tmcretia Borgia, do you?" gasped the
Observer.
The young lady pouted.
"If you are going to try and be mean,'' !
F TANGO
mm STYLES
then allowed to swing free, so that the
utmost freedom of movement was assured
the wearer, yet the effect was
that of an extremely narrow and binding
skirl. It really was a clever idea.
*
* *
Topping it was a pretty surplice
blouse of white chiffon edged with a
bebe velvet sewed with rhinestones
and a tunic that sloped up toward the
front, just following the line of the
satin band on tlie skirt. A smashing
girdle of rose-hued satin completed
the pretty costume. Rut that was not
all.
' T,ook." urged the devotee of the
dance. She had unfastened one hook,
slipped off the tunic, and presto' there
was a kimono blouse of black chiffon
continuing the chiffon of the skirt and
the costume had become a fetching
afternoon dress. It was then explained
that Mrs. Herz often remains at the
studio from the the-dansant right through
the evening dancing, and this combination
costume enabled her to make the
quick change of toilet she often found
necessary.
Most of Miss Joan Sawyer's dansant
frocks are of thin, crepey silks rather
than chiffon, the silks .that cling and
swirl about her as she bends and sways
and glides through the intricacies of
her dances. This both for afternoon
and evening, although some of her
gowns are of Persian stuffs in compliment
to her Persian Garden.
*
* *
One of the evening gowns, an Indescribable
pattern of many sofc colorings.
is made with three flounces.
ca'n nuns ?" mat it iorrns a pronounced
jabot effect in front, obviously
for the purpose of giving ample width.
The lower one is mounted some ten
inches above the knees, so that there
is freedom at the knees, and the other
two take their cue from this. Then
above these is a short, pouched tunic,
which also follows the line of the
flounce and forms a heading for the
top one. It is gathered at the waist
also with a two-inch heading that
stands up against the corsage, The
corsage is of shadow lace, surpliced
with a cluster of silk rosebuds at the
crossing.
Asked what she thought of the corsets
designers had brought out to suit
the dancing craze, Miss .Sawyer said:
"Tf a corset is insisted upon there
are some clever models that really
help one in the dance. Con??ling is
more important than ever if, as I say,
one insists upon being corseted.
"One fault to be found with otherwise
good modeis is that they hold
the figure in about the hips when the
stricture is more necessary just below,
but there are some models I know of
which are really thigh diminishing.
All of the dancing corsets are made to
hold the figure close and flrmly, yet
perfectly free because of the flexibll-|
ity of their materials."
*
ML FOOLS':
Eif'
"'ff,
j -\N
she said, "you might as well go."
The Observer went. After all. what is
{he use of trying to beat down the inexorable?
That vision had been put on
earth to sell candy, and she was prepared
to sell pepper candy, which would
make, some innocent bystander's mouth
smart like liquid fire, in order to make a
sale at 25 cents a pound.
Yet the thought persisted that a vision
who could willingly offer this candy on a
public market must be at least collaterally
related to the original April fool
demon. And the Observer is convinced
that if the vision would only have talked
she could tell an interesting story.
Soundness was the very watchword of
the nevt man whom the Observer happened
to run across. This man is a librarian.
and goes nosing around for all kinds
of foolish facts from morning until night.
* *
"All Fools' day," said he. "was essentially
a French custom. It is collateral
with the mardi gras of the south and
with a number of other feast days which
DAY, THE 01
WASTher
ROWMINO X ^-SEart?
1IN0USLY \ J \ A?"
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HE HA* NT ^ />-C
/"?V MUCH ?^ ^4X. s
&j=cA hair \
and HC v \ \
i*?f HASN'T \ \ A
W*J MUCH V_y| L4 1
^~S RtUENC.E. s } y 1
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w
have been held in different parts of the c
country. It. is very old."
"But," protested the Observer, "how
can you call it a feast day when it is 5
principally devoted to injuring those 1
whom you happen to know. This is preposterous."
.Said the librarian: <
"l3on't talk drivel. I am trying to tiell 1
you something. All Fools' day is equivalent
to Guy Fawkes and a number of
other silly hallucinations. I am prepared
to show you " '
But as he was producing several vol- t
umes of literature the Observer fled.
Now there hannens to live. near the .
place where* the Observer has his abode
one of the most charming little girls that *
ever lived. The Observer and she have '
already plighted their troth. She is four 1
years old. She wears her hair long and c
her dresses short and she looks for all <
the world like one of those little Dresden
dolls that you buy for the children at 1
Christmas time. Also, she lisps. t
"Did you ever hear of the April fools'
i $3.
Show h
\
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T
Relial
^ H.
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BSE1VE! LE
* Gurtry 6rihwm^ '
:e ?s no person ok/^~"~^
1 y/ho can exceed
I
mm-1
SHE wear^I |
Gar?- Wl H?*
/ / r>j nS LON& and
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lay man?"' asked the Observer.
"Yeth.* she replied, coyly.
"Is he a nice man?" inquired the Ob-,
server.
"No," she replied, sternly, "he ith not.
rle ith a mean, bad man."
"Why do you say that?"
"Why?' she repeated, indignantly. "Be;auth
he gave the cook thome pepper in
ler meat that she didn't want."
*
* *
"This is difficult to follow," protested
:he Observer.
" 'Tain't, neither," replied the young
ady of (our, " Tis like thlth. The cook
>ad a pieth of meat cut for herthcif
["home mean bogie man he went out and
le put a lot of red pepper on it and the
joojc didn't know it till she had started to
?at the meat. Then she cried."
"I suspect," said the Observer, in a low,loarse
voice, "that I could tell who put
hat red pepper on the cook's dinner."
"Thmarty," retorted the wondcqful
>hotographs of some of tf
Low Shoes stamped?
VENUS'
50 and $4.
iow successfully we've inl
Fashion's latest demands
Vomen's Easter Footwear.
f. HAHN & CC
hree Cor. 7th and K St?. N
bio Shoe 1914-16 Pa. Ave. N
>u?e* 233 Pa. Ave. S. E.
BSS5aaa^l^^>*ia^,"e
SAMMS MA^
young- lady. But It Is an accredited fact
that she dropped her eyes when she
said It.
What was the bogle man's grouch?
What was his reason for treating the
nation?the world, for that matter?to
the April fool's joke? Let us go on
seeking" the answer. We have not found
it yet.
There was a milkman.
Now. for pure, unadulterated cussedness
there is no person on earth who
ultra of demonish ferocity. He is the
man who picks up three bottles which
you considerately left for him and
drops two of them before he reaches
the wag-on.
"Here," thought the Observer, "is
one of the April fool's gentlemen who
will be able to deliver the goods."
So he tackled a rnilkmaji. One of
those who have an afternoon run.
"vWhat," said the Observer, "is your
theory of the grouch which the originaJ
April fools' man had on the people of
this more or less harassed earth when
he wished the joke idea on them?"
*
* *
"Search me." said the milkman.
"You get a lot of fun out of waking
people up," accused the' Observer.
The milkman grinned, guiltily-. For
guilty grinning there is no person on
earth who can exceed a 'milkman.
" 'Bo,' said he. 'I reckon you got me
there. I am the original April fools'
kid. We wake 'em up in the morning
and when they write a complaint into
the office we explain that they put their
milk bottles so they couldn't help but
tumble off the porch.
' 'I ain't hard hearted at that. I am
willing to accept things as they come
along. But it does get my goat to
see .all of these four-flushing people
trying to travel along when 1 knows
that they owes their milk bills and
when they tries to snub me. Do you
think I'm right in trying to get square?
You bet you do!'
"I didn't say it," protested the Observer.
"You don't have to say it." replied
the milkman. "1 know.''
So they let it drop at that.
They let it drop?in a sense. But
the Observer continued his wild wanderings.
He went to a man who above
all others should be able to discuss
the origin of April fool's day. This
man is a dyspeptic. Every time he oats
a meal he has to drink some hot water.
And his complexion reminds you mostly
of the Mississippi at flood tide. He
hasn't much hair and he hasn't much
patience. But he has. as you will see, a
marvelous iuna 01 tneory.
"What do you think was the original
grouch which led to the establishment
of April fool's day?" asked the Observer.
*
* *
"There was no grouch concerned with
it," replied the dyspeptic person.
"No grouch?"
"No," snorted the dyspeptic person.
"The man who invented April fools'
day was the one wise man of the
earth."
"You have got to back that up,"
warned the Observer.
The dyspeptic one grasped himself by
the midriff and heaved a colossal sigh.
Then he spoke:
"Even a, person of your limited intelligence
imrst admit that if something
is done to reduce the egotism of
the world a kindly act has been committed."
"Granted." said the Observer, not because
he believed in the theory, but to
nJ
ie new I
I ^
r/
00 ^
).'S
%
m y.yMwnw.*'
IY THIMGSI
| keep the dyspeptic person from heavi
Iiir any more
j "Well, then." said the dyspeptic, trlI
timphantly. "if I can rescue your
I egotism by making you eat red pepper
isn't it as cood as if I did it with the
aid of moral suasion or any other
method which I might contrive?"
"But." protested the Observer, "you
said the April fool bogie didn't have a
grouch. '
He didn t." roared the dyspeptic, as
he kept a tight hold on his vest. Mwasn't
any grouch. He was the origi
| nai- rooi Killer. lie is the man who
I woes out each year and finds out how
individuals are so far lost to history
and common sense as to fall for the
tricks that a sensible child would smile
at."
And that shows you what a diversity
01* views one can obtain on a perfectly
simple question.
BOBBIE HILL.
!! BODIES.
I
BY DR. FRANK t'RAXB.
(Copyright. 1914, by Crank Crane.)
Why do we have bodies? Why are wa
not unsubstantial spirits?
We are clothed in bodies in order that
we come into harmony with nature.
Our bodies are the link between u?
and the universe.
Through them we are brought into
subjection to the laws that govern
planets and trees. We become brothers
I to the animals, cousins to the flowers.
We are bound in the same bundle of relationship
with stones, mountains and
seas.
The fire that consumes woou destroy?
lis. The wind that raises the waves and
uproots the oak smites us. The sun that
undoes; the morning glory opens also our
petals of cheer.
If we are but spirits we should wander
as waifs in a world we could never realize.
^We should have no kinship of suffering
and of beauty with our fellow
creatures.
Through our bodies comes also human
communion. When we eat and drink together
that is the holy sacrament of
unity. When we kiss, the soul awakens.
We say that we see. hear, smell, taste
and touch. It is our bodies that perform
these functions. We cannot know, nor
even imagine, how a naked soul could
perform them. A soul without a body
would be isolated.
What the spirits of men do elsewhere
we can only surmise, but let us be thankful
that upon this sphere they inhabit
living- organisms; for thus is revealed to
them the overpowering glory of light, the
majesty of the stars, the appeal of green
herbage, of calling birds and of all else
in this goodly frame of things.
- Spirit may possibly speak to spirit
without using material media, but it is
at our present state of knowledge hardly
to be understood. What we do know* is
that my soul can reach yours through
your eye by my frown, nod or laughter,
through your ear by the sound of my
lips.
So the soul is put into a body that it
may become a part of the oneness of
things, may find its place in the all, may
lea i n form and order, may grow into
consciousness of itself, of other souls
and of nature.
It must have a body, oven as the infinite
must have its expression in the
finite.
WmWr I
I
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