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Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, April 27, 1930, Image 3

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PARITY SATIRIZED
BY GRIDIRON CLUB
Few Administration Leaders
Escape Newspaper Men’s
Barbs at Dinner.
(Continued From First Page.)
that ‘‘reporters are never present.”
The only other speaker of the evening
was Dr. Glenn Frank, president of the
University of Wisconsin.
The prohibition Issue was presented In
the form of a skit entitled ‘‘Little Boy
Blue Nose.” The hero. ‘‘Little Boy
Blue Nose," himself, was an anemic
child, the godson of Herbert Hoover and
the child of Mr. and Mrs. John J. Ex
periment. His real name was disclosed
aa ‘‘A. Noble Experiment." Wheeled
Into a clinic of distinguished special-
Ists, he was subjected to a searching
examination. Dr- Wickersham ex
pressed the view that the patient might
be helped by moving his enforcement
glands from the Treasury to the Depart
ment of Justice, but Dr. Graham (chair
man of the House judiciary committee)
diagnosed the child’s case as general
breakdown, resulting from congentlal
hypocrisy."
Operetta on Tariff Given.
The Senate’s difficulties with the tariff
were accorded special treatment , m _ a
tuneful and satiral operetta entitled
“The Pirate's Progress” or ‘Down in tne
Sugar Barrel With Smoot.” The House
of Representatives was not neglected.
Its members, pictured as having grown
chesty through listening to oonstant
praise of their legislative efficiency, were
taken down off their perchma bit
of musical comedy entitled Boobs v}
Joyland," depicting them as small lads
playing statesmen. .
The newly discovered planet X fur
nished the theme of a presentation in
which the guests were permltted M
look down upon the earth and study
some of the political and economic
questions of the world
ranee telescopes. This enabled the club
to throw considerable new light en sev- i
eral of the more perplexing problems
of the American Government.
A ghostly parade of President
Hoover’s discarded lieutenants and ad
visers was climaxed by the participants
embracing Claudius H. Huston, chair
man of the Republican national com
mittee. and welcoming him to Never-
Never Land.” . . ....
In the interest of even-nanded jus
tice to both major political parties, the
club put on a thrilling circus act deal
ing with the recent rrymnastic feats oi
some of the Democratic Senators dur
ing the final stages of the tariff tattle.
Senators Tydings of Maryland. Hawes
of Missouri, Ashhurst ° f Arizona. Cope
land of New York and Walsh of Mas
sachusetts, the star oer formers, were
nresented by the ringmaste 3 Proi.
Grundy's troup of trained Democratic
tight rope walkers.”
Guest List at Dinner.
In addition to President Hoover, the
guest list included Vice President Cur
tis Speaker Longworth, the ambassador
of Brazil, the Ambassador of Great
Britain, the Ambassador of Poland >-ec
retary of the Treasury Mellon, Attorney
General Mitchell, Postmaster General
Brown, Acting Secretary of the Navy
Jancke, Secretary of Commerce Lament,
Secretary of Labor Davis, the Minister
of Panama, the Minister of Bulgaria,
Senator Ashhurst of Arizona, Senator
Copeland of New York Senator Deneen
of Illinois. Senator Glenn of Illinois,
Senator Goldsborough of Maryland,
Senator Harrison of Mississippi, Sena
tor Hebert of Rhode Island, Cnairman
Huston of the Republican national com
mittee, former Gov. Frank O Lowden of
Illinois, Harry S. New, former Post
master General: T. V. O’Connor, chair
man of the United States Shipping
Board: Gov. Ritchie of Maryland, Jouett
Shouse, executive director of the Demo
cratic national committee; E. H. H.
Simmons, president of the New York
Stock Exchange; Senator Smoot oi
Utah, Representative Tilson of Con
necticut, Republican leader in the
House; Senator Tydings of Maryland,
Senator Wagner of New York, 3enator
Walsh of Massachusetts. Senator Wat
son of Indiana. Republican leader in
the Senate; Senator Wheeler of Mon
tana, Daniel Willard, president of the
Baltimore & Ohio Railroad: Owen D.
Young, chairman of the board cl.the
General Electric Co.; former Gov. Red
field Proctor of Vermont, nead of the
New England council.
As the dinner began, a nerve-shat
tering crash of falling dishes and glass
ware was heard In the offing. A mem
ber rushed forward and as the startled
guests looked about anxiously tor an
explanation. President Charles S. Groves
of the Gridiron Club exclaimed;
‘‘For heaven's sake, what was that
terrible crash?”
‘‘That was the Senate," came the
answer, ‘‘welcoming President Hoover’s
nominations for the Supreme Court.”
Spirit of Dr. Work Appears.
The lights went out and the orches
tra began playing weird music as the
spirit of Dr. Work and four ghosts
marched on the stage. The spirit of
Dr. Work addresses the audience.
‘‘Many faces are missing which were
familiar when the Hoover administra
tion was inaugurated. The woods are
- full of political ghosts and there will
be more. Their story is the ‘Ballad of
Lost Leaders.’ Where are they now?
He proceeded then to recite as follows:
Tell me now where Horace Mann is—
* Col. Mann, that Southern dough man,
Tell me. too. where Donovan ia—
Bill, the wild and woolly Roman?
Where ia Mabel, lady showman?
Has she gone—or is she near?
Bhe brought grief to each Rum Row man—
But where are the snows of yesteryear?
Where’s Jimmy Burke, the dandy one—
Burke, whom Hoover leaned on;
And old Doc Work, that handy one.
When ’2B careened on?
Why. Hubert s doses he was weaned on,
And now no Hubert answers, ‘'Here.”
Where has that lofty • bean” gone?—
But where are the snows of yesteryear?
And where. I pray, is George Barr Baker?
He was Hoover’s good-will censor.
Bascnm Siemp, black-and-tan caretaker;
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A
CARTOONS RECALL 45 YEARS OF GRIDIRON HISTORY
Vare. who knew exactly when, sir.
As Mellon failed to make it clear?
Where are they now? I grow In tense r
But where are the snows of yesteryear?
Nay. never answer has been heard.
Where they are gone, or far or near.
Except with this for an ° v *cword—
But where are the snows of yesteryear?
Welcome to Never Never Land.
Chairman Huston entered and was
welcomed to political Never Never
Land. Huston replied in song to the
tune of "I Hear You Calling Me.
ThouVh^Hoover 1 one who wanted me,
Because I turned the trick in Tennessee,
But now you only think of Muscle Shoals.
And lust for that you will not let me be.
others went their
And W now you tell me that I cannot stay:
You've lost your goafto Walsh and Caraway.
You'll all be sorry what you did some day,
I bear you calllnt me.
The scene shifted quickly to a hos
pital and the sickly child “Little Boy
Blue Nose” alias “A. Noble Experiment”
was brought in for diagnosis. As
bearded doctors gathered for the ex
amination, "Noble" tooted his horn and
revealed his identity in rhyme:
■ • Little Boy Blue Nose,
Blow your horn, ..
There's a still in the meadow
And a kick in the corn.
“Noble’s" Nurse, Senator Wesley Jones
of the “Five and Ten” fame, address
ing Dr. Wickersham, head of the clinic,
said, "His Godpapa, Mr. Hoover, wants
you to examine him.” Dr. Graham
spoke up, “I only need one look at him
for my diagnosis. It’s a general break
down, resulting from congenial hypoc-
there a cure for it?” asked
Nurse Jones.
“Sure,” said Dr. Graham, reaching
for the ax. ,
“Stop," cried the alarmed nurse. Dr.
Graham, you’re nothing but a Pennsyl
vania quack. I demand an opinion
from Dr. Wickersham.”
“Don’t let’s get excited,” said Dr.
Wickersham soothingly, “but he does
look defective for a 10-year-old. X
wonder if his godpapa willbe mad if
I njally discover what is the matter
with him.”
His Court Room Congested.
The examination proceeded. “He
seems to be a little shy on backbone,
said Dr. Wickersham. I think that
can be remedied by moving his enforce
ment glands from the Treasury to the
Department of Justice. And—oh i
Here’s congestion—very serious conges
tion. His court room is too crowded.
Dr. Graham considered the case
hopeless and pronounced the child a
“complete nitwit.” Little Noble began
to grow restive and Dr. Graham sug
gested singing him to sleep with that
tuneful ditty, entitled, “I»3t Me Call
You Brookhart, I’m Pretty Sick of
You.”
Noble's examination came to a more
or less unsatisfactory ending with a
song to the tune of the “Maine Stein
Song.” .
The London Conference came next.
To an accompaniment of soft music, j
the silver curtains parted and Secre
tary of State Stimson, disguised as
“Alice," entered “Wonderland” through
the looking glass. The White Knight,
who turned out to be Premier Mac
donald, welcomed her to the London
Conference. '
Duchess Parity, a bedizened dowager,
entered. , _
“She seems a very expensive per
son,” remarked Alice. „
“You can have her to play with,
replied the White Knight. “Take ter;
she will cost you a cold billion. She
has an enormous apetite. You must
give her at least five cruisers a year
to sharpen her teeth on."
“Father Hoover told me to bring
her home,” said Alice, “but I don’t
think he knows much about her.”
The Walrus (Foreign Minister Briand)
and the Carpenter (Premier Tardleu)
came upon the stage and the Walrus
recited:
“Th* time has come. O Alice dear,
To talk of many things.
Os seas and ships and sealing wax,
Os protocols and kings.
And whether merchantmen are safe,,
And whether blimps have wings.
“What is it you want of me,” asked
Alice.
Walrus Tells a Riddle.
The Walrus replied:
“Security. I will tell you a riddle.
When is a nation not secure?”
“That’s easy: when it’s in the League
of Nations.” said Alice.
“The girl has sense,” said the Wal
rus. “No, Alice, there is no answer,
but it’s a beautiful topic of conversa
tion.”
! The Duchess and Alice burst into
song, which ran as follows:
Duchess —
“WUll you talk a little faster?” said
Macdonald to the French. ,
•'There’s a Tory close behind me, and he s
treading on my bench, .
Bee how eagerly the pacifists and churches
now are backed. _
They are watting on the Treaty—will you
come and sign the, pact?
. Will you, wflgi't you, will you. won’t you.
will you, won't you sign the Pact?”
Alice—
Will you, won’t you. will you. won’t you.
wiU you, won't you sign the Pact?"
Duchess—
/ou can really have no notion how de
lightful it will be. .. „
> .Vhen the cruisers and the dreadnaughta all
> are sunk beneath tne sea.”
* But the French replied: 'Too far! Too far!
■ „ r
THE SUNDAY STAR. WASHINGTON, D. C.. APRIL 27. 1930—PART ONE.
Your figure’s not exact, .
So we thank you very kindly, but we will
not sign the Fact.
Will you. won’t you, will you. won t you,
will you, won’t you sign the Pact?
Alice—
•’Will you. won’t you. will you. won’t you,
will you, won't you sign the Pact?
Duchess —
• What matters it how far we go?” cried
Btimson in despair.
“The Democrats will run the show. If Hoover
gets the air. . . ,
It matters not to me. dear friends, how
Washington would get,
I care not for entanglements. If you will
sign the Pact."
Alice—
•’Will you. won’t you, will you. won't you,
will you, won't you sign the Pact?”
And Alice vanished through the look
ing glass, wishing she were “back in
the Philippines, where I could wear a
white suit and get bitten by spiders.”
Smoot Cast as Captain.
The cast of ‘‘The Pirate’s Progress,”
dealing with the tariff, consisted of
Long Sam Shortridge, Capt. Smoot,,
Pirate Hebert (Senator from Rhode
Island), Prof. Bingham (of Connec
ticut) and Lady Chatterly’s Lover.
Proper attention was paid to Senator
Smoot’s valiant fight to clothe customs
officers with unlimited power to bar
foreign literature which they might con
sider obscene. Lady Chatterly’s Lover
was discovered, in disguise, as a stow
away aboard the pirate ship. Capt.
Smoot was horrified, but Lady Chat
terly’s Lover explained:
• "It’s all right, Capt. Smoot, I’ve just
got a Job with the Watch and Ward
Society of Boston, selling the Saturday
Evening Post to Harvard University.”
Lady Chatterly’s Lover then sang
‘‘There Ought to Be a Law Against
That,” which ran, in part, as follows:
“ ‘lf you would be an author of today.
Said Senator Smoot, 'my rules you must obey.
Elizabethan language wIU not do.
The Customs experts have their eye on you.
For lit’rature henceforth must be polite.
At Harvard they are teaching Harold Bell
Wright.’ "
“Now as for Shakespeare, known as 'Will,'
He never heard of a tariff bill.”
Chorus—
“Oh, oh. Senator Blnoot. there ought to be
a law against that.”
The Gridiron Club's Ideas about the
House of Representatives were present
ed in the operatta "Boobs in Joyland."
Speaker Longworth presided, of course.
Members of Congress were represented
as toy soldiers, dressed in white pan**,
red coats and high caps.
Rhyme Dedicated to Garner.
Some of the members were described
in "Mother Goose” rhymes. One of
them, specially dedicated to Represent
ative Garner, Democratic leader in the
House, ran:
Little Jack Garner
Was found In a corner
A’tacting of tariff pie.
For the schedules on cattle
Jack put up a battle,
Then said what a poor sap was I.
The closing song of the act, sung to
the tune of “Toyland,” contained this
verse;
Boobs in joyland!
Just like babes In toyland,
Playing we are statesmen—
Tho’ we no one else deceive.
Din and rattle,
Hark to our childish prattlel
i Politics we’re playing
In a land of make believe.
Members of the astronomy class on
the newly discovered planet fixed their
teleacoplc goggles on the earth and
looked down upon strange things. The
“queer country with the funny people
who look like they believed what they
read in the newspapers” turned out to
be the United States getting ready for
a political campaign.
“Who are those people jumping to
and fro as though they didn’t know
where they were going?” asked one of
the pupils.
“Those are Republicans trying to
stand behind the President,” answered
the professor.
“What is that smaller crowd standing
atlll and getting nowhere?"
“Those are Democrats trying to stand
in front of the President.”
Another speck on the earth turned
out to be a meeting of the unemployed.
“What are they?” inquired one of the
pupils.
“The unemployed are large groups of
people who under Democratic rule
would be the victims of a panic, but
under Republican rule are misguided
, Communists who don’t know prosperity
’ when they see it,” replied the pro
fessor.
Forty-Five Years Ago.
Members of the organization, garbed
as were the charter members of the
Gridiron Club in 1885, put on an an
niversary skit. Four of them, standing
in front of old Newspaper Row on Four
teenth street, discussed the topics of
i the day. Cleveland had just become
, President.
“Not since the days of John Quincy
i Adams,” said the first member, “has
any President been so well equipped for
’ the duties of his office aa our new
President."
“Oh, buncombe,” was the reply of
• the second Jnember. “That’s been said
of every President since the year of the
big wind.”
Mr. Cleveland was represented as
being new, but too wise to call a special
1 session of Congress to deal with the
l tariff.
I
“They say he goes Ashing," was a
comment.
“Presidents are always A6hing,” an
other member answered.
“Do you suppose there will be a coali
tion in Congress between Burbon Demo
crats and Republican mugwumps?”
“Yes, until the next election, when
they’ll all be regular again.”
Reference was made to the fact that
“Butler” was going to run in Massa
chusetts again—“ Ben Butler,” it turned
out to be.
Dr. Mary Walker was spied crossing
the street in her male costume.
“She’ll be getting into Congress next.”
“Not until the Gridiron Club’s more
than a hundred years old and then
some will there be a woman in Con
gress,” was the prediction of one of
these newspaper men of 45 years ago.
A parade turned up Pennsylvania
avenue. It turned out to be the Sons
and Daughters of Temperance on the
way to ask the President not to serve
wines at White House state dinners.
The Gridironers took their guests to
Hollywood, disclosing a movie producer
' and a couple of camera men. They
were discussing the visit of former
President Coolidge.
“What a voice for our new talkie of
'Way Down Bast,’ ” said one of the
camera men.
"I see that since returning from
Hollywood Mr. Coolidge has said he does
not Intend to run for public office
again,” continued the camera man.
“That's what he says today,” replied
the other, “but listen”; and to the tune
of “Tit Willow” he sang the following:
By a tree In Northampton a gentleman cat.
Singing. "Morrow, fcmorrow. tomorrow."
And I said to him. "Where will the White
house be at.
Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow?
Hoover needs your advice, Mr. Coolidge, I
fear.
Though you haven’t the mind of a great en
gineer.” - - -
But all he replied, with his hand to his ear,
Was "Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow."
He smiled to himself as he sat near that
bough,
• Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow.
And a nice new fedora encircled his brow,
O. tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow.
And he thought of the conference gone on
the rocks.
And he read in the news the prices of stocks.
And he sighed as he gased at the run in his
socks.
"Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow.”
A Capitol janitor and a policeman
were revealed in conversation over the
contents of a trash can.
The janitor extracted a copy of the
Republican platform from the trash ean.
“That’s what they ran on before the
election—and walked on after election,”
said the policeman.
An old Senate doormat was found
in the can.
"When Secretary Stlmson gets back
from London with the treaty, the Sen
ate will have a new doormat,” the
janitor said.
Vice President Curtis and Senator
Watson, Republican leader of the Sen
ate, represented by club members, sang
a duet to the tune of "It Ain’t No Fault
of Mine’’:
Watson:
“Oh. Mister Curtis, can you tell
Why such a thing should be?
They call me Senate leader, but—
Nobody follows me.”
The Vice President:
“Oh. it ain’t no fault of min*
If the boys won’t get in line;
If they will not follow precedence
It ain’t no fault of mine.”
Watson:
“If, when we've passed this tariff bill.
It's to the White House sent,
We cannot tell that It will be
Bigned by the Pres-i-dent.”
The Vice President:
“Oh, it ain’t no fault of mine
If you can’t learn his design;
I am not the White House spokesman, but—
THAT ain't no fault of mine.”
Gutzon Borglum, the sculptor, was
represented in trouble over many offers
he had received to shorten the history
of the United States which Calvin Cool
idge is to write for Inscription on a
mountainslide in South Dakota. He
read one suggestion from Alfred E.
Smith, which follows:
“The South should have won the
war of secession and the West should
have been given back to the Indians.”
The folowing dialogue between two
members of the club Introduced the
new civilian member of the District
Commission, Gen. Crosby, a guest at
the dinner:
First member: "What is that mili
tary noise like a troup of cavalry?”
Second member: “That’s Maj. Gen.
Crosby, the new civilian Commissioner
of the District of Columbia, arriving at
this dinner.”
First member: “Hitch your horse a
moment, general, and dismount. We
should like to present you to our guests.
Gentlemen, this is Maj. Gen. Crosby,
new Commissioner of the District of
Columbia.”
New Member Initiated.
The club Initiated a new member—
’ Raymond Clapper, chief of the Wash- j
ington bureau of the United Press.
After a severe grilling at the hands of
Judge Thad Caraway, chairman of the
'> Senate lobby committee, he was for
mally welcomed into the organization.
The newly elected president of the
club, Charles S. Groves, Washington
’ correspondent of the Boston Globe, was
i inaugurated with appropriate ceremo
i nles. The shades of John Wlnthrop
and his followers from the Massachu
i setts Bay Colony came upon the scene
I to learn how successful Puritanism had
! been In the United States. They found
that the Will Hays code of morals for
f
the movies “shows that the light of
Puritanism is still burning brightly.”
“I remember,” said one of the Puri
tans. “when Miles Standish tried to get
married by proxy. Is that custom still
followed?”
“It’s a little different now,” came the
reply. “If that affair happened today
Miles Standish would sue John Alden
for alienation of affections; Priscilla
would swat Standish with her spinning
wheel, a Jury would find her not guilty
and the tabloids would be plastered
with pictures of the love nest.”
“I remember,” said another, “when
one of our colony was accused of
bribing the Indians to get their land.”
“It wouldn’t be bribery nowadays,”
was the response, “It would be called a
loan to an old friend.”
Attention was called to the fact that
Mr. Groves came from Massachusetts
and fear was expressed that the White
House might “object to another New
England President.” but a reassuring
answer was given:
"The White House would not object
to a New England president—of the
Gridiron Club.”
Thereupon President Groves was for
mally Inducted into office without
further delay and presented with a
gavel made from the handle of a Puri
tan ducking stool.
The guest list was:
The President of the United States.
The Vice President of the United
The Speaker of the House of Repre
sentatives.
The Ambassador of Brazil.
The Ambassador of Great Britain.
The Ambassador of Poland.
The Ambassador to Poland.
The Secretary of the Treasury.
The Attorney General.
The Postmaster General.
The Secretary of Agriculture.
The Secretary of Commerce.
The Acting Secretary of the Navy.
The Minister of Panama.
The Minister of Bulgaria.
The Minister of El Salvador.
A.
Walter E. Adams, Boston, Mass.; Dr.
Philip G. Affleck, George Akerson, Sec
retary to the President; Sherman Allen,
Paul Y. Anderson, the St. Louis Post-
Dispatch; Herbert W. Archer, Matthew
C. Armstrong, Hampton, Va.; Robert B.
Armstrong, Los Angeles Times; Henry
F. Ashurst, Senator from Arizona; M.
H. Ay les worth, president National
Broadcasting Co.
B.
George Barr Baker, New York City;
William L. Barnard, Brookline, Mass.;
Robert Barry, New York Evening
World; Norman W. Baxter, president
National Press Club; Col. Sosthenes
Behn, president International Tele
phone and Telegraph Co.; Thad C,
Bell, Richmond, Va.; Ulric Bell, Louis
ville Courier-Journal: Paul Bellamy,
the Cleveland Plain Dealer; Robert J.
Bender, the United Press Associations;
William S. Bennet, Chicago, 111.; Ira E.
Bennett, Washington Post; C. K. Berry
man, Washington Evening Star; James
T. Berryman, The Washington Evening
Star; William I. Berryman, Pittsburg,
Pa.; Karl A. Bickel, the United Press
Associations; James P. Bicket, the Chi
cago American; Howard M. Biscoe, vice
president Boston & Albany Railroad;
T. Buchanan Blakiston, Baltimore, Md.;
Col. C. B. Blethen, the Seattle Times;
C. B. Blethen, Jr., the Seattle Times;
Sol Bloom, Representative from New
York; John S. Blue, New York City:
Stuart O. Blythe, the Ladies’ Home
Journal; George Calvert Bowie, J. F. M.
Bowie, Kevin DeLacey Bourke. New
York City; Judge Roland W. Boyden,
The Hague Tribunal; Thomas W.
Brahany, R. P. Brandt, the St. Louis
Post-Dispatch; Desha Breckenridge,
Lexington, Ky.; Dr. Paris E. Brengle,
J. F. Bresnahan, the New York Eve
ning World; Kingman Brewster, George
Waverley Briggs, Dallas, Tex.; Fred A
Britten, Representative from Illinois;
Sir John Joyce Broderick, counselor
British embassy; Ashmun Brown,
Providence Journal; George R. Brown,
Washington Herald; Harry J. Brown,
Salt Lake Tribune; John Stewart
Bryan, the News-Leader, Richmond,
Va • H E C. Bryant, Asheville Citizen;
Capt. Allan Buchanan, naval aide to
the President; E. A. Buel, Baltimore,
Md.; Walter S. Buel, Cleveland Plain
Dealer; Dr. Frank F. Bunker, the Car
negie institution; James Francis Burke,
Pittsburgh, Pa.; Charles L. Burrill,
Boston, Mass.; Maj. Gen. Smedley D.
Butler, U. S. M. C., Quantlco, Va.
C.
Robert F. Cahill, Comdr. George W.
Calver. U. S. N.; T. H. Caraway, Sen
ator from Arkansas; Thomas Carens,
the Boston Herald; G. Richmond Car
penter. the Providence Journal; Col.
John H. Carroll, Harry Chandler, the
Los Angeles Times; Chris L. Christen
sen, Robert H. Clancy, Representative
from Michigan; Raymond Clapper, the
United Press; William R. Cole, the
Public Ledger, Philadelphia; Charles H.
Colladay, Claremont, Calif.: Edward F.
Colladay, George M. Cook, Chicago, 111.;
Royal S. Copeland. Senator from New
York; Dr. Edward L. Corbett, New
York City; William S. Corby, Charles
O. Cornelius* Metropolitan Museum of
Art; Edward Costigan, Judge Edward
A. Counihan, Cambridge, Mass.; Dr.
James F. Coupal, William Coyne, Wil
mington, Del.; Arthur W. Crawford, the
Chicago Tribune; Marvin H. Creager,
the Milwaukee Journal; Harris M.
Crist, Brooklyn Dally Eagle; Col. Ed
ward Croft, U. S. A.; Gen. Herbert B.
Crosby, Commissioner, District of Co
lumbia; R. J. Cuddihy, the Literary
Digest; J. Harry Cunningham. J. Max
Cunningham. John T. Cushing, the
Boston Record.
D.
Charles S. Deneen, Senator from Illi
nois; Dr. Alfred P. Dennis, vice chair
man of the United States Tariff Com
mission; Charles H. Dennis, the Chicago
Daily News; Robert Denton. Franklin
D’Oller, vice president Prudential Life
Insurance Co.; Victor B. Deyber, W.
Laurence Dickey, the Kansas City Post;
Arthur J. Dodge, Henry L. Doherty, New
York City; Col. William J. Donovan,
T. Howard Duckett, James W. Dunegan,
Stevens Point, Wis.; George E. Dumo,
the International News Service.
E.
Fred East, Charles A. Eton, Repre
sentative from New Jersey; P. E. Ed
rington, New Orleans, La.; Frank
Ehlers, M. S. Eisenhower. Ahmed El-
Eissy, the Egyptian legation; Richard
P. Ernst, J. Fred Essary, Baltimore Sun.
F.
William J. Fahy, New York City; War
ren C. Fairbanks, the Indianapolis
News; Lloyd M. Felmly, the Newark
Evening News; Foster T. Fenton, Bal
timore, Md.; Garland S. Ferguson, jr„
chairman Federal Trade Commission;
Carter Field, the Bell Syndicate; Frank
M. Firor, New York City: J. F. Fitz
patrick, the Salt Lake Tribune; Robert
V. Fleming, Mark Foote, Grand Rapids
Press; Arthur F. Foran, collector of
Port of New York; Wilbur S. Forrest,
the Herald-Tribune, New York; Ru
dolph Forster, executive secretary White
House; Dr. Glenn Frank, president
University of Wisconsin; James A.
Frear, Representative from Wisconsin;
Brig. Gen. B. H. Fuller, acting com
mandant United States Marine Corps;
J. H. Furay, the United Press Associa
tions.
G.
Edwin W. Gableman, Cincinnati En
quirer; Michael Gallagher, Cleveland,
Ohio; A. S. Gardiner, Clinton W. Gll
bret, Philadelphia Public Ledger; R. M.
Ginter, Harrisburg. Pa.; Carter Glass,
Senator from Virginia; Otis F. Glenn.
Senator from Illinois; C. J. Gockeler;
M. Preston Goodfellow, the Brooklyn
Daily Eagle; Mark L. Goodwin, Dallas
News; George M. Gottfried, New York
City; George S. Graham, Representa
| tive from Pennsylvania; Dr. Thomas A.
Green, B. J. Greenhut, New York City;
; Capt. T. T. C. Gregory. San Francisco,
Calif.; B. J. Grigsby, Chicago, HI.;
Charles S. Groves, the Boston Globe;
C. B. Groves. The Washington Evening
Star; John W. Guider.
H.
I. Haldenstein, New York City; Fred
erick Hale, Senator from Maine, Henry
Hall, Rear Admiral Frederick R. Har
ris (retired), U. S. N.; Henry U. Harris,
New York City; Pat Harrison, Senator
from Mississippi; Irving W. Hart, the
Boise (Idaho) Statesman; JayG. Hayden,
Detroit News; Ferry K. Heath, Assistant
Secretary of Treasury; Felix Hebert,
Senator from Rhode Island; Dr. Joseph
M. Heller, J. Thllman Hendrick, 001.
L. H. R. Pope-Hennessy, the British
embassy: M. E. Hennessy. the Boston
Globe; George W. Hess, director. United
States Botanic Gardens; Frank 8.
Hight, Charles D. Hilles. New York
City; Bynum E. Hinton. Frank
H. Hitchcock, New York City;
Paul V. Hodges, the Cleveland Plain
Dealer; William V. Hodges, Denver,
Colo.; Dr. J. J. Hogan. Vallejo, Calif.;
George R. Holmes. International News
Service: Charles E. Hood, Dr. A. Barnes
Hooe, James P. Hornaday, the Indian*
apolis News; Hilleary G. Hosklnson,
Frank K. Houston, New York City; E.
O. Howard, Salt Lake City; Nathaniel
Howard, the Cleveland Plain Dealer;
James C. Hoyle, William E. Hull, Repre
sentative from Illinois; Edward N.
Hurley. Chicago, 111.; William L. Hurley,
New York City; Claudius H. Huston,
chairman, Republican national com
mittee.
J.
W. W. Jermane. Seattle Times;
Richard Jervis, Philander C. Johnson,
Washington Evening Star; Royal C.
Johnson, Representative from South
Dakota; Herbert L. Jones, New York
City; Wesley L. Jones, Senator from
Washington; William A. Jones, New
York City; Theodore G. Joslin, Boston
Evening Transcript,
K.
Dr. Emmett Kane, St. Louis, Mo.;
R. M. Kauffmann, The Washington
Evening Star; J. D. Kaufman, Edmund
J. Kearns, the Salt Lake Tribune; Edgar
S. Kennedy, Frank R. Kent, the Sun,
Baltimore, Md.; George W. Kern, jr„
New York City; Charles P. Keyser, St.
Louis Globe-Democrat; Dr. O. C. Kiep,
counselor German embassy; Joseph R.
Knowland, the Tribune, Oakland.
Calif.; Col. Frank Knox, general
manager of the Hearst newspapers;
Chester DeVries Kraft, West Virginia;
Jess Kruger, the Chicago American.
L.
H. A. Lafount, Federal Radio Com
mission; Bennett H. Lambe, Wilton J.
Lambert, Robert R. Lane, Newark Eve
ning News; Charles F. Lanman, David
Lawrence, Consolidated Press Associa
tion; William V. Lawson, the Chicago
Tribune; John LaGatta, New York
City; H. B. Leary, jr.; Maj. E. Brooke
Lee, speaker of Maryland House of
Delegates; Alex Legge, chairman Fed
eral Farm Board; Rudolph Leitner, the
German embassy; Fulton Lewis, Dr.
Dean Lewis, Baltimore, Md.; Willmott
H. Lewis, the London Times; Charles
P. Light, G. Gould Lincoln, Washington
Evening Star; Allen L. Lindley, New
York City; Charles R. Lingley, Hanover,
N. H.; E. S. Little, New York City;
Edward E. Loomis, New York City;
Frank O. Lowden, Oregon, HI.; Col.
Edward G. Lowry, Lieut. Col. Lewis C.
Lucas, U. S. M. C„ (retired); Robert
Luce, Representative from Massachu
setts; James B. Luttes, Richmond, Va.
M.
George MacDonald, New York City;
Earl M. Mackintosh, Ben M. McKelway.
The Washington Evening Star; Hanford
MacNlder, Mason City, Iowa; Charles
H. March, Federal Trade commissioner;
Edgar Markham, Lorenzo W. Martin,
the Lousville Times; Dr. Herbert E.
Martyn, Frank Mason, president the
International News Service; Julian S.
Mason, the New York Evening Post;
Paul Mazur, New York City; Brig. Gen.
Charles L. McCawley, U. S. M. C. (re
tired); J. P. McKinney, New York City;
John E. McKirdy, Pittsburgh, Pa.;
James B. McLaughlin, Jr.; Charles R.
Michael, the New York Times; Charles
Michelson, Jeremiah Milbank, New
York City; William C. Miller, Walter
MoiTatt, New York City; John E. Monk,
New York Times; Lee Montgomery,
Sedalia, Mo.; William Montgomery, pres
ident Acacia Mutual Life Association;
Dr. William H. Mook, St. Louis, Mo.;
Lieut. Alfred P. Moran, U. S. N.; Wil
liam H. Moran, Edward W. Morgan,
deputy commissioner of pensions; Wil
liam L. Morgan, Newark. N. J.; Edgar
Morris, Henry C. Morris, Herndon
Morsell, H. Tudor Morsell, J. Joseph
Mylott, New York City.
N.
Warren B. Nash, New York City; A.
M. Nevius, Harry S. New, Fleming New
bold, The Washington Evening Star;
Arthur G. Newmyer, the Item-Tribune, ]
New Orleans, La.; Walter H. Newton, |
secretary to the President; Robert L.
Norton, the Boston Post; Charles F.
Noyes, New York City; Frank B. Noyes,
president the Associated Press; Theo
dore W. Noyes, The Washington Eve
ning Star; Dr. Horace D. Norton, Jo
seph R. Nutt, Cleveland, Ohio; Bert L.
Nye.
O.
T. V. O’Connor, chairman United
States Shipping Board; Joyce O’Hara,
Richard V. Oulahan, New York Times;
Junior Owens, L. E. Owens, the St.
Paul Dispatch.
P.
Frank C. Page, New York City;
Herbert Parker, chairman Massachusetts
Tercentenary Commission; Robert H.
Patchln, New York City; Frank L.
Perrin, the Christian Science Monitor;
A. B. Pierce, J. N. Fistell, Buffalo, N. Y.;
W. A. Pittenger, Representative from
Minnesota; Frederic Gardner Pitts, the
Buffalo Evening News; F. R. Plalsted,
Southern Pacific lines, Chicago, HI.;
Herbert Ponting, the Detroit News;
Charles Presbrey, New York City; Frank
Presbrey, New York City; E. Wentworth
Prescott, Boston, Mass.; John S. Pres
cott, New York City; Edward H. Pres
ton, James D. Preston, superintendent
Senate press gallery; Byron Price, the
Associated Press: Redfleld Proctor,
former Governor of Vermont.
Q.
Edward W. Quinn, Cambridge, Mass.
R.
A. A. D. Rahn, Minneapolis. Minn.;
E. Lansing Ray, the St. Louis Globe
Democrat; E. Lansing Ray, Jr„ St.
Gentleman’s Estate
of Fifty Acres
Modern dwelling, with all conven
ience*, SS mile* from Washington;
stable*, garage*; rood roads; fruit
tree*; boat ins, Ashing, ba thine, sandy
beach.
GEO. WATSON
1 N. Paca St.
Baltimore, Md.
AUTO INSURANCE
SIO,OOO Public Liability ) Cov
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—costs only $23.40 per year and
up, according to make of car.
Nation-wide coverage complying
with every State financial responsi
j bllity automobile law.
Harrell Brothers &
Roesch, Inc.
"Insurance Counselors ’*
716 lltb St. N.W.
Phone National OSOS.
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Louis, Mo.; William P. Raymond, Roland <
L. Redmond, New York City; A. P.
Reeves, Dr. Luther L. Relchelderfer,
Commissioner District of Columbia; Ed- i
mund D. Rheem, Brig. Oen. George
Richards, U. 8. M. C.; Guy A. Richard
son, Chicago, 111.; Prank Rldgway, Al
bert C. Ritchie, Governor of Maryland;
B. H. Roberts, Roy A. Roberts. Kansas
City Star; William A. Rodenberg, J.
Dwight Rogers, Detroit, Mich.; John
P. Ryan, New York City; W. C. Ryan.
New York City.
8.
Wheeler Sammons, Chicago. HI.;
David Samoff, president Radio Cor
poration of America; Reeve Schley, New
York City; Robert T. Scott, M. D. Se
dam, vice president Chesapeake Sc Po
tomac Telephone Co.; James H. Shay,
Minneapolis, Minn.; Samuel M. Short
ridge. Senator from California; Jouett
Shouse, chairman Democratic national
executive committee; Frank H. Slmonds,
E. H. H. Simmons, president New York
Stock Exchange; Arthur J. Slnnott,
Newark Evening News; Charles P. Sis
son, Assistant Attorney General; D. A.
Skinner. Secretary United States Cham
ber of Commerce; Ray Lt Skofleld, New
York City; Paul Sleman, Charles Gas
ton Smith, Jr., Boston, Mass.; Ernest N.
Smith, executive vice president Ameri
can Automobile Association; Hal H.
Smith, the New York Times; J. Bond
Smith, John Lewis Smith, Robert B.
Smith, Philadelphia Public Ledger;
Reed Smoot, Senator from Utah; Ber
trand H. Snell, Representative from New
York; John Snure, Des Moines Register;
Edgar C. Snyder, United States mar
shal; John P. Sousa, Long Island, N.
Y.; James G. Stahlman, the Nashville
Banner; Dr Camp Stanley, William D.
L. Sarbuck, Federal Radio Commission;
Edward J. Stellwagen, William* M.
Steuart, director of census; James C.
Stewart, New York City; George R.
Stobbs. Representative from Massa
chusetts; Alfred Stofer, Birmingham
News; John G. Stoll, the Leader, Lex
ington, Ky.; French Strother, adminis
trative assistant to the President;
James A. Sullivan, Mark Sullivan, New
York Herald-Tribune; W. D. Sullivan,
the Boston Globe; Dr. Robert Y. Sul
livan, Arthur Hays Sulzberger, the New
York Times; Henry Suydam, Brooklyn
Daily Eagle; Herbert Bayard Swope,
New York City,
T.
Galen Tait, collector of Internal
revenue, Baltimore, Md.; Edward Tal
bert, Hillsman Taylor, St. Louis, Mo.;
J. Will Taylor, Representative from
Tennessee; Mark Thistlethwaite, Fort
Wayne Journal-Gazette; Thomas D.
Thacher, solictor general of United
States; Maurice Thatcher, New York
City; Edwin P. Thayer, secretary of the
United States Senate; James H.
Thomson, the Item-Tribune, New Or
leans, La.; Merle Thorpe, the Nation’s
Business; Elliott L. Thurston, the New
York World; John Q. Tilson, Rep
resentative from Connecticut; George H.
Tinkham, Representative from Massa
chusetts; Frederick Tisdale, New York
City: Charles T. Tittmann, John R.
Todd, New York City; Roy E. Tom
linson, New York City; Charles H.
Tompkins, Dr. George B. Trible, Ray T.
Tucker, the Scrlpps-Howard News
papers; Joseph P. Tumulty, Millard E.
Tydings, Senator from Maryland.
C.
Clayton G. Underhill, the Buffalo
Evening News; Fred D. Underwood,
New York City.
V.
Arthur H. Vandenberg, Senator from
Michigan; George O. Vass; Leroy T.
Vernon, the Chicago Daily News; R. B.
Van Horn, Montreal, Canada.
W.
Robert F. Wagner, Senator from New
York; Frederic C. Walcott, Senator
from Connecticut; Col. Richard Rush
Wallace, U. S. M. C.; Ernest G. Walker,
Bangor Commercial; David I. Walsh,
Senator from Massachusetts; O. S. War
den, the Great Falls Tribune (Mont.);
Carl N. Warren, the Chicago Tribune;
James E. Watson, Senator from
Indiana; Arthur T. Well; Dr. Walter
C. Wells; Henry L. West, Washington
Post; James C. White, Chicago, HI.;
Roy B. White, president Central Rail
road of New Jersey; Richard Whitney,
vice president New York Stock Ex
If You Can Afford Coal I
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1
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Terms if Desired. INVESTIGATE!
Automatic Heating Corporation
1719 Connecticut Avenue N.W.
North 0627
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tj Sample Homes Open Today j
E | The following house* have been traded to us for ]
[ ■ larger homes, so we can offer them at special low | j
[ 3 terms and prices. j
Si | 3021 24th ST. N.E. j I
* v (Just South R. 1. Ave. N.E.) . .... 1 I
A beautiful location; new bungalow home; all improvement*. Including | Z
hot-water heat. Only one of thooo. Inspect today or Sunday. CQ QCA , 1
Lot 40-foot front. Only | ■
SrC 322 T ST. N.E. I j
31 New. « room* and bath. Hat-water heat. Big porehe* and SO OCA I I
|fc built-in garage spO,3fOU - |
[1 1022 3rd ST. N.E. J j
f 1 Twenty feet wide. Sis room* and bath. Bit lot. Boom for CO QCA I ■
I - garage «P0,70U _ T
[j 1108 E ST. N.E. }l
J 3 Six room* and bath—B porehe*—metal garage—«tone-wall 1 ,
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f 3 our* only 1 «PO,“OU 1 .
** 1926 4th ST. N.E. | j
Beautiful new bant, light brick. « room* and bath. S CO QCA V I
porehe*. Only *pO,>3U K ■
S** 1222 HEMLOCK ST. N.W. - If
Eight room*. S porch**; Frigidairei built-in Sl4 SOO I "
S*" 1 29 BRYANT ST. NiiL I
<Ju*t East North Capitol St.) f
a, o.i, “.rr.*®. $8,950 J1
[HsEsHoWfßlfEifr® I
j 1 1311 H STREET NORTHWEST ,
A-3
change; Grafton 8. Wilcox, Hew York
Herald-Tribune; Donald A. Wiley,
the Washington Post; John E. WTOtle.
Chicago, HI.; Cecil J. Wilkinson; Lupton
A. Wilkinson, New York City; Daniel
Willard, president Baltimore St Ohio
Railroad; Lieut Comdr. E. M. Williams,
U. S. N.: William H. Williams, chair
man of the board. Wabash Railroad;
James C. Willson, Louisville, Ky.;
George H. Wilson: Lloyd B. Wilson,
president Chesapeake St Potomac Tele
phone Co.; L. L. Winship, the Boston
Globe; Charles M. Wright; Lieut.
George C. Wright, U. 8. N.; James L.
Wright, the Buffalo Evening News;
Lewis Wood, president White House
correspondents; James F. Woodward,
secretary of Internal affairs, Pennsyl
vania; Lester E. Wurfel, Newark, N. J.;
Harry M. Wurzbach, Representative
from Texas.
Y.
Owen D. Young, chairman of board,
General Electric Co.
YOHE LEAVES $115,000
Daughter, Piling Petition for Pro
bate of Will, Is Sole Beneficiary.
Benjamin P. Yohe, who died April
13, left an estate valued at $115,000,
according to the petition of his daugh
ter, Ethel Yohe Larson, for the probate
of 'his will. The estate comprises
stocks, bonds, cash and other personal
property, but no real estate. The
daughter Is the sole beneficiary. Bhe
is represented by Attorney John E
Larson.
NEW INSTITUTE PLANNED
Chicago University Plans Study of
Origin of Civilization.
CHICAGO, April 26 W s ).—Dedicated
to the study of the origin and develop
ment of civilization, a new Oriental
Institute is to be built on the University
of Chicago campus. Dr. James H.
Breasted, director, announced today.
Work will begin Monday upon the
buildings, which will cost $1,500,000, and
provision has been made for endowing
it with funds for its maintenance.
EDISON
and
STEWART WARNER
RADIO SETS
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Few as Good.
GIBSON’S
917 G St. N.W.
MEYERS PUMPS
Electric Domestic
Water Systems
For Your Summer Home
Regarding Installations and
OUR EASY PAYMENT PLAN
See Your u Naborhood Plumber ”
E.G. SCHAFER CO.
Wholesale Plumbing and Heating
Supplies
WASHINGTON, D. C.

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