Evening star. [volume], April 19, 1936, Page A-16, Image 16

About Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972

Image provided by: Library of Congress, Washington, DC

                
New Deal and G. 0. P. Done
to Turn by Lampoons of
Witty Punsters.
(Continued From First Page.)
I minded a lament for a Uberal leader.
With a majority of the members of
the Supreme Court present, the club
pictured that tribunal as the particu
lar peril of the New Deal. Indeed,
the court was presented as a nine
man soviet seeking to run the Gov
ernment. with six members at times
going in one direction and three in
another.
Roosevelt Speaks.
President Roosevelt delivered a
speech, which, under the rules of the
Gridiron Club, is never reported, but
in w'tjich he is understood to have
given the newspaper men a touch of
their own gridiron. The only other
speaker was Frank R. Kent, column
ist of the Baltimore Sun and an
ardent critic of the New Deal. The
United States Marine Band played
an important part in the musical
program of the dinner.
“Politics Mocked.”
In a brief welcome to the guests of
the club, President Edwin W. Gable
man said:
"We welcome you to a preview of a
political year which begins in con
fusion and will end in November.
The national colors wave over a Treas
ury In the red. candidates in virtuous
white and taxpayers very, very blue.
We march toward conventions and
campaigns. Republicans are trying
to decide how far to go along with
the New' Deal and the New Deal is
trying to decide the same thing.
"So far the Republicans have pro
duced a field full of candidates and
the country's leading fisherman has
produced a boat load of bone fish. Only
one issue has been settled. Our
famous Government scientists have
determined definitely what is an am
berjack and why.”
No sooner had the guests seated
themselves than the noise of terrific
gunfire was simulated by the or
chestra. An announcer explained that
it was the 160th anniversary of Paul
Revere’s ride, and that "the patriots
once more are in arms." Paul Revere
Hearst and his valiant editors dashed
on the stage to the tune of "Yankee
Doodle." vowing in song he would
chase the New Deal reds,, and as
serting:
'■The country’s going to the dogs with
all these professoriate,
The only way to save it is to read
my editorials.
*'The Constitution is attacked. I shall
be its salvation.
I'll save the freedom of the press
and Hearstize all the Nation."
Dr. Dal oe Arrives.
Next on the program was the ar
rival of the Dionne quintuplets, led by
Dr. DaFoe. It developed, however,
that present in the audience were
six brothers—Charles P. Gableman.
George L. Gableman, J. Wesley Ga
bleman. Walter H. Gableman. William
N. Gableman—all from Ohio, and
Edwin W. Gableman. Washington cor
respondent of the Cincinnati (Ohio)
Enquirer.
It was discovered that this •‘Ohio
gang” had elected Edwinn Gableman,
Washington correspondent of the Cin
cinnati Engineer, president of the
Gridiron Club of 1936. After Mr.
Gableman had been inaugurated
Dr. DaFoe gathered the little Dionnes
around him and announced that after
seeing the Gableman sextet he was
returning to Ontario.
A few minutes later the diners wit
nessed a telegraph office w'here the
manager was bitterly complaining
that the Black Lobby Investigating
Committee had ruined his business.
A messenger boy observed that peo
ple could not be blamed for not send
ing telegrams since “them Senators
get more kick out of reading mes- j
sages signed ‘love and kisses’ than ;
anything since Reed Smoot taught
them to read ’Lady Chatterley’s j
Lover.’ ”
Black Wires Increase.
Four messengers trooped in and re
ported business was picking up—peo
ple were sending telegrams to Senator
Black. One signed Joe T. Robinson |
applauded the Black inquiry as in
"best Senate tradition.” but added;
"I prefer reading other people’s mail.”
From Princeton the Future Lobbyists
of America demanded to be investi
gated now in order “to get it over
with.” Finally a telegram was read.
stating. "Keep your-subpoena
servers away from our dinner.” It
was signed “The Gridiron Club.”
President Gableman protested the
Gridiron Club had not sent such a i
telegram. He was informed the mes
senger boys were imposters. Actually j
they were new members of the Grid- j
iron Club being initiated. They were j
Paul Hodges of the Cleveland Plain j
Dealer; Harold M. Talburt, cartoonist j
of the Scripps-Howard newspapers; i
Franklyn Waltman, jr.. of the Wash- j
lngton Post; Phelps H. Adams of the i
New York Sun and George Myers, a
limited member.
The club paused for a few minutes
In its merriment to pay tribute to six
members who died since the last din
ner. They were David S. Barry, Scott
C. Bone, James P. Hornaday of the
Indianapolis News, Carl D. Ruth of
the Toledo Blade. John Snure and I
Theodore C. Wallen of the New York J
Herald-Tribune.
“Whirling Dervishes.”
Then the Gridironers turned with
rest to the national political pano
rama. Dr. F. E. Townsend, head of
the society for revolving pensions, and
Dr. John N. Garner of Texas, head of j
the society for revolving Senators, j
were presented as “whirling der-1
vishes,” who immediately broke into
a duet.
James A. Farley. Postmaster Gen
eral and chairman of the Democratic
National Committee, and Henry P.
Fletcher, chairman of the Republican
National Committee, the two field
marshals in the impending political
battle, were asked to arise for a bow.
Immediately the stage was trans
formed into a fight ring and a hard
boiled referee announced that about
to begin was a bout for the “cham
peanship of de United States” be
tween "Gentleman Jim Farley, the
phantom Philatelist” and "Handsome
Hal Fletcher, the pride of the State
Department.”
The referee hastily put on a gas
mask and as the fighters disrobed
“Gentleman Jim” appeared with a
base ball bat, a hatchet, eun and
several clubs suspended from his
shoulders. "Handsome Hal,” how
ever, had a chest protector and a
catcher’s mask suspended from his
neck. Taking one look at "Gentle
man Jim,” "Handsome Hal” fled from
the ring with Farley in pursuit.
Cloak Room Protrayed.
The club diners next were per
mitted to view “that Holy of Hollea,
the Democratic cloakroom of the
K
United States Senate” where Senator
Zilch sat reading his newspaper beside
a huge brass cuspidor. Senator Cope
land and Guffey entered radiating
happiness. Each explained he had
been to- the White House and that the
President individually had told each
that his “ship subsidy bill was fine.”
' Why, Joe,” Zilch said In an aside
to Guffey, "your ship subsidy bill is
completely different from Copeland's,
ain’t it?”
“It sure it,” replied Guffey.
Turning to the future, the Grid
iron Club anticipated the coming
political conventions in a skit staged
in a railroad station where a large
crowd dressed in Summer costumes
milled about, stumbling over suit
cases and bags of golf sticks, as the
station announcer vainly tried to
persuade delegates to take “their
places in the smoke-filled smoker”
of trains leaving for Cleveland and
Philadelphia on track 1936.
Hoover ana Alien.
A figure in a double-breasted blue
jacket, white flannel trousers, a high
“choker” collar and a small round
straw hat with an upturned brim, ad
dressed the station master in a mono
tone. Beside him stood a figure in
a white grown, a typewriter strapped
around his waist. They were identi
fied as Herbert Hoover and Ben Allen,
his ghost writer.
“Allen, you’ve heard no idle rumors
that the American people are express
ing indifference to the august leader
ship which I have the honor to pro
vide?" asked Hoover, as the assem
bled company loudly groaned.
“Chief.” replied the ghost writer,
“the sad truth is that a prophet is
without honor, save in Palo Alto.”
Surprised, Hoover plaintively ad
dressed the crowd in song to the tune
ol “Say It Isn’t So.”
Enter, Mr. Vandenberg.
In frock coat, wing collar, striped
trousers and horned-rim spectacles.
Senator Arthur H. Vandenberg pre
sented his railroad ticket and was
told that he was in the same com
partment with Hoover.
“Senator Vandenberg.” said Hoover,
with a bow', “it will be a pleasure to
travel along with you.”
“Not on your life,” angrily replied
Vandenberg. “Thanks for nothing.
John J. Raskob next approached the
station master, explaining he wished
to go to the Democratic convention
because “I’ve got to go somewhere this
Summer.” Asked what he planned to
do at Philadelphia, he said he would
suggest to the President that “it’s high
time the chairman of the Democratic
National Committee resigned as Post
master General."
As Farley stepped up with his ticket,
the stationmastcr. perplexed, asked if
he had not just heard something
about a resignation.
"Aw. be yourself," replies the Post
master General, "not while I’m in
control of the mails!”
Train whistles announced the time
for departure had come. Farley laugh
ingly said. “Let the Republicans go
ahead and holcf their convention—
it’ll get the hotels out of the red.”
As for the Democrats, they were
“going to fix the crack in the Liberty
Bell and renominate Franklin D.
Roosevelt,” said Farley.
“Tobacco Koaa t ersion.
Next came a presentation by “The
Boondoggle Theater Guild" of an ex
purgated version of “Tobacco Road,”
with Jeeter Lester as “a New Deal
cracker." As Ma Lester complained
of the lack of food In the cabin.
Jeeter sought to console her by say
ing that “lustful appetite for food is
what makes dupes for capitalism.”
Jeeter tried to read from a book
by Prof. Tugwell, but Ma struck the
book from his hand, asking Jeeter if
he thought he were the President.
Scratching himself elaborately, Jeeter
undertook to tell what he would do
if he were President.
He said he would "start right off
by promising to drive the money
changers out of the temple.’* but if
four years later the money changers
were still in the temple. Jeeter ob
served. he would expect the people to
give him another term in order to
finish the job. "People are trustful,
thataway,” he mused.
Jeeter said he would stabilize the
currency on a commodity dollar, using
cotton as the commodity. He would
have the Government buy cotton until
the price reached $1.2t) a pound. And
Jeeter guessed if he were President
he would “crack down on everybody
that didn’t agree with me, including
the Supreme Court.”
“Well, suppose the people showed
they wuz strong for the Supreme
Court?" asked Ma.
“Why.” said Jeeter, shifting his
quid, “why—I’d shut up mighty quick
—till after the election.”
Bottles Not Victuals.
Bud, the Lester son, in ragged shirt
and knee pants, finally arrived with
a heavily laden basket. But Instead
of groceries it contained bottles of
“Dr. Tugwell's Resettlement Specific,”
the “New Deal Exterminator or Rough
on the Rich,” “Eccles’ Inflationary
fluid,” which “works as you sleep,"
and a bottle of old Doc Roosevelt's
“Elixir of the More Abundant Life”—
“good so long as there's any life left.”
"But where in all tarnation is the
victuals?” screamed Ma.
“Hell, Ma,” exclaimed Jeeter, "who
wants victuals when they kin get
medicine.”
xiie i’icw w'' v**w
undistributed earnings of corpora
tions was depicted in a playlet entitled
“Nobody Loves a Fat Man.” Bob
Doughton and Sam Hill, those two
brawny masseurs and the twins of
ways and means are at work in Frank
lin’s Turkish bath on Capitol Hill
when Secretary of the Treasury Mor
genthau’ arrives, dragging along a
loudly protesting fat man.
“The boss says this guy has too
much surplus,” Morgenthau an
nounces. "Massage it off—and sweat
all the dividends out of him."
Allow Breathing Spell.
Despite the fat man’s struggles. Hill
and Doughton threw him on a mas
sage table and began to pummel him
roughly.
The telephone rang and Doughton,
after answering it, reported that “The
boss says if we’re through with this
guy, he can have a breathing spell.”
“Not a breathing spell,” gasped the
victim, arising from the table, but
looking like a skeleton, “I’ll never live
through another breathing spell.”
Out of the darkness there next ap
peared on the stage a large wagon,
ornately decorated. Asleep, leaning
against a wheel, was a figure repre
senting Uncle Sam. Thomas Jeffer
son and Alexander Hamilton entered,
seeking to arouse the sleeping figure
by calling “Say, Uncle! Say, Uncle!”
“Whada ya mean, say uncle?” de
manded Sam awakening. “I’ve been
saying ‘uncle’ ever since Roosevelt was
inaugurated."
Recognizes Nephews.
Suddenly he recognized his two
nephews, but expressed surprise that
they looked so much alike. He sug
gested they had better go back where
they came from because “you won’t
like it here now.”
“Don’t tell me there 1s anything
wrong with the credit of the Govern
ment,” asserted Hamilton, in alarm.
“Not any more,” replied Uncle Sam.
“It Just passed peacefully away.”
“Don’t tell me,” Interrupted Jeffer
son anxiously, “there’* anything wrong
I
Gridiron Head
EDWIN W. GABLEMAN.
Correspondent for the Cin
cinnati Inquirer, who was in
stalled as president of the
Gridiron Club at last night’s
dinner, over which he pre
sided.
with the government of checks and
balances.”
“It's working perfectly—all checks
and no balances,” drily asserted
Uncle Sam.
Representatives of the various po
litical factions crowded to the stage.
Among them was Upton Sinclair.
A figure sobbing was discovered at
one side. It was Walter F. Brown of
Ohio who lamented that “it isn’t even
fun to buy southern delegates any
more.”
Borah and Smith as Girls.
Suddenly out of the wings appeared
two girls, appearing greatly dls
■ tressed. They were Wilhelmina
Borah and Alfreda Smith. Wilhel
mina explained that Alfreda and she
“were taken for a ride and we’re
walking back."
“I'm never going riding again with
that Franklin Roosevelt,” exclaimed
■ Alfreda.
“It couldn't be any worse than
I happened to me with Charles D.
I Hilles and J. Henry Roraback,” as
j serted Wilhelmina.
To the tune of "Heaven Will Pro
! tect a Working Girl,” Alfreda sang:
i "Going riding is just grand
If you're sure of where you'll land.
And the driver isn't one to take a
whirl.
But if you have any doubt,
Then you'd better far get out—
For Heaven will protect a walking
girl!"
1 nomas jenerson, proclaiming mav
all this was nonsense, insisted that
the “same old bandwagon is going to
lead the procession in this campaign,
j just as it always has, with the same
' two old parties aboard.'1 Suddenly
every one started jumping for the
bandwagon, as the orchestra played
; the music of "Oregon Trail."
The next scene unfolded before the
diners a burlesque built around the
predicament of 12 Du Poms on the
forty-eighth floor of A1 Smith's Em
pire State Building during the recent
elevator strike.
Landon on the Fire.
Next to be tossed on the gridiron
was Gov. Alf M. Landon of Kansas,
in an interlude entitled “Twilight in
Topeka." The scene opened with Ma
Landon laying aside her sunbonnet to
strum Schumann's “Traumerei” on
her harp.
Pa Landon. carrying bucket and
! hoe, entered, expressing, in a nasal,
back-country accent, his affection for
“these dear old prairies, so different
from the corrupt East, where I was
born.”
Ma Landon urged her husband to
“cut out the hick stuff’ and be him
self. since “the reporters have gone
home.” Dropping the nasal twang,
Pa Landon asserted that since Ma
was dispensing “Kansas culture on
the harp” he thought the reporters
were still around, since that act usu
ally was “reserved for the Eastern
press and William Randolph Hearst.”
“The governor,” asserted Ma, simu
lating a hick voice to a Boston news
paper calling by telephone, “is de
voting his entire time to the affairs
of the State of Kansas. He cannot
discuss national politics.” The same
answer was given a Baltimore news
paper calling a few minutes later.
Dikes Editorial Flare.
Meanwhile. Ma with glee revealed
that the new mimeograph machine
had arrived and that “a wonderful 1
circular press room” had been set up
in the silo. Pa expressed pleasure
over the favorable editorial reaction
he was receiving in the Eastern news
papers.
“I knew these overalls would get
’em. and there’s the oil lamp,” as
serted pa. “The damned thing
stinks, but it sells oil. I understand
there are electric lights in the White
House.”
When the telephone rang a third
time, Ma Landon automatically started
off in her nasal twang to explain that
the governor could not discuss na
tional affairs, but she suddenly stop
ped and then abandoning her hick
voice, added: “Oh, it is so nice to
hear your voice,” explaining to her
husband it was that "nice Mr. Roy
Roberts of the Kansas City Star." Pa
gave Roberts an exclusive interview,
asserting that “the way to balance
the budget is to balance it,” but that
“Kansas, however, will not insist on
declining its share of Federal relief.”
Quickly the scene was shifted to
that of the deck of a ship, tossed by
a storm “on a sea of Federal relief,”
manned by a crew in costume of the
period of “Mutiny on the Bounty.”
As the lights came up and the winds
abated, a cry was heard for the
supercargo. Mr. Hopkins. When he
appeared he was asked whither the
ship was bound.
Fears Constitution Reefs.
“Whenever our New Deal craft gets
going good in a fair wind and a
following sea,” explained Hopkins,
“we run into an uncharted con
stitutional reef and it takes us three
■months to get started again.”
The peril of the Supreme Court to
the New Deal was described by a
soloist.
“Honest Harold” Ickes was called on
to explain how the ship was operated.
He said the New Deal Relief Ship
had no captain—or rather "it has
nine captains.” Indeed, he explained,
“the fate of this ship is in the hands
of a nine-man Soviet.”
Hopkins observed that "it’s no won
der we can’t tell where we’re going”
since "sometimes six of the cap
tains think we ought to go in one
direction, and three of them think
we ought to go in another.”
As a commastacr on the vagaries
of these nine captains, a soloist sang:
“Nine old men on a White House chest,
Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum!
Flicking bits of fluff from their coat
and their vests!
Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum!
Their stroke is swift as a serpent’s
strike.
For Reed was found on the Rockville
Pike.
And Cummings' throat was marked
belike
It had been gripped by lingers ten;
Yet there they sat, those nine old
men.
As cool as DanlM in the lion's den!
Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum!"
Further Cruising Urged.
Arthur Morgan of the T. V. A. spoke
up to assert that the Soviet of Cap
tains had been mo6t good to him.
Urging patience on the crew, he
suggested that perhaps “with fresh
air and a little further cruising in
New Deal waters” the Soviet might be
inclined to give all “a clean bill of
health and clearance papers.”
Ickes. however, expressed his skep
ticism by singing "I’ve got my fingers
crossed.” When he finished, John W.
Davis was found aboard the ship. He
confessed he was on “private relief”
and explained he stole aboard as
the representative of the Old Deal
Marine Insurance Brokers’ Association,
in order to see that Hopkins and
Ickes "don't reduce this noble craft
to a total loss."
Another stranger was found and
identified himself as a New York
banker on the A. A. A. relief rolls.
“A New York banker on agricultural
relief?” gasped Ickes in surprise.
“Yet sir.” asserted the banker. "You
see I own some shares in a Puerto Rican
sugar mill and I get paid one million
bucks per annum for not running it
at all. The joke is, I never did! I
haven't done a lick of work since 1934.”
Wallace Holds Tongue.
He sang of his good fortune to the
tune of “No More Sleep Today,” tell
ing his audience that “I get paid to
stop, whenever I start to grow a
crop.” Hank Wallace refused to name
this banker, asserting that “I do not >
wish to expose him to exploitation
through the publication of his name.” j
Wallace added that if “there’s gonna
be a legalized steal, I want to be in j
on it.” He expreseed himself as
“tired of a nine-man Soviet runnin' !
this ship” and suggested that at least
“six of ’em be put overboard.” The
crew agreed. ,
“Hereafter Hopkins and Ickes and
I will run this relief ship,” announced j
Wallace.
“Won’t that be a Soviet?” asked
one of the crew.
“There's a Republican on the relief
rolls." shouted Wallace. "Throw him
out!”
Wallace proposed “a cheer for the
New Deal C's the most wonderful C’s
in all the world" and in a grand
finale, the entire crew sang:
“We joined the New Deal to see the
world
And what did we see? The C. C C.
Right from the Pacific to the
Atlantic.
— w o iua»L uo liamu.)
We think the New' Deal isn't what
it’s cracked up to be.
They tell us that the President,
Is as nice as he can be,
But we never see the President.
Because the President goes out to flsh
at sea.
We owe the New Deal, an awful lot.
There's the R. F. C., the S. E. C. and
D C.
There's the N. E. C. to fix H. O. L. C. I
There’s more than that, that ends on
a C.
We never get seasick sailing the ocean.
We don’t object to feeling the motion,!
We're never seasick, but we are aw
fully sick of C's.'’"
Those attending the dinner were:
The President of the United States.
The Vice President of the United
States.
The Ambassador of Brazil.
The Ambassador of Cuba.
The Ambassador of China.
The Speaker of the House of Rep
resentatives.
The Chief Justice of the United
States.
The Secretary of State.
Mr. Justice Sutherland.
Mr. Justice McReynolds.
Mr. Justice Butler.
Mr. Justice Roberts.
The Minister of Austria.
The Minister of Switzerland.
The 6ecretary of the Treasury.
The Attorney General.
The Secretary of War.
The Postmaster General.
The Secretary of the Interior.
The Secretary of Agriculture.
A.
Eugene G. Adams, Phelps Adams,
the New York Sun; Phelps H. Adams, 1
the New York Sun; Julius Ochs Adler,
the New York Times, N. Y.; Herbert ;
Agar, the Courier-Journal, Louisville,
Ky.; Floyd D. Akers, Winthrop Aid
rich, New York City; Theodore Al- •
ford, the Kansas City Star; C. Ed- I
ward Altemus. Melvin T. Allpress. 1
Ellsworth Alvord. Paul Y. Anderson,
St. Louis Post-Dispatch; Representa
tive Walter G. Andrews. New York:
Alfred Archer, Brooklyn, N. Y.; Bolton
S. Armstrong, Cincinnati, Ohio; M. C.
Armstrong, Hampton, Va.: Robert B.
Armstrong, Waldo Arnold, the Mil
waukee Journal; Harmon S. Auguste,
New York City; Floyd Augustine.
B.
Lisle Baker. Louisville. Ky.: Edward
C. Baltz, Henry M. Barlow. New York
City; Robert Barry, New York City;
Norman W. Baxter, Edward S. Beck,
the Chicago Tribune; Will T. Beck,
Holton, Kans.; Ulric Bell, the Louis
ville Courier-Journal; Paul Bellamy,
Cleveland Plain Dealer; Ira E. Ben
nett, Lieut. Charles Benter, U. S. N.;
Richard E. Berlin, the International
Magazine; C. K. Berryman, The Wash
ington Evening Star; Hiram Bingham.
Gregg C. Birdsall, Representative Sol
Bloom, New York; Sumner Blossom,
the American Magazine; Elmer H.
Bobst, Montclair, N. J.; Harold Boe
schenstein, Toledo, Ohio; John Boet
tiger, New York City; Representative
Chester C. Bolton, Ohio; Scott Bone,
George G. Booth, Booth Newspapers,
Detroit; Warren S. Booth, the De
troit News, Detroit; Ray Borst, the
Buffalo Evening News, Albany; Dr.
W. Sinclair Bowen, George Calvert
Bowie, Robert P. Boylan, Chicago;
C. B. Bradley, Newark; Thomas W.
Brahany, Raymond P. Brandt, the
St. Louis Post-Dispatch: Capt. Taylor
Branson, leader Marine Band; William
Bray, Harold Brayman, Philadelphia
Evening Ledger; George M. Brennan,
Intermediate Credit Comr.; Hey wood
Broun, the World-Telegram; Ashmun
Brown, the Providence Journal;
George Rothwell Brown, King Fea
tures; Harry Fletcher Brown, Wil
mington; Harry J. Brown, the Salt
Lake Tribune; Robert S. Brown,
the Scripps - Howard Newspapers;
Sevellon Brown, the Providence Jour
nal; Thad H. Brown, Powell Brown
ing, Walter J. Brunmark, Buffalo;
Charles D. Bruyn, New York City;
H. E. C. Bryant, Gene Buck, Great
Neck. Long Island; Walter Buckner,
New York City; E. A. Buel, Walker S.
Buel, the Cleveland Plain Dealer; Sen
ator Robert J. Bulkley, Ohio; Ells
worth Bunker, New York City: Nathan
Burkan. New York City; Edward H.
Butler, the Buffalo Evening News;
Carl Byolr, Miami, Fla.; Senator Harry
Flood Byrd, Virginia.
C.
Louis G. Caldwell, J. B. Camerer,
Oto, Iowa; Ugo Carusl, K. P. Chen,
China; James S. Childers, the Birm
ingham News; Robert B. Choate, the
Boston Herald: Raymond Clapper, the
Washington Dally News; Edward H.
Clark, New York City; Edward B.
Clark, Representative D. Worth Clark,
Idaho; Edward H. Clendenin, Plain
field, N. J.; Chester W. Cleveland,
Magazine of Sigma Chi, Chicago; N.
D. Cochran, the Scripps-Howard news
papers; Edward P. Colladay. Republi
can national committeeman ot Dis
trict o 1 Columbia; James E. Colli
flower, C. H. Collins, Colorado Springs;
William J. Collins, superintendent Sen
ate press gallery; Joseph V. Connolly,
International News Service; R. D. W,
Connor, archivist of the United States;
George M. Cook, Chicago; Senator
Marcus A. Coolidge, Massachusetts;
Edward Costigan, Gardner Cowles, jr.,
the Des Moines Register-Tribune;
Marvin H. Creager, the Milwaukee
Journal; H. M. Crist, Vineyard Haven,
Mass.: Senator James Couzens, Michi
gan; Wayne Coy, Indianapolis; George
D. Crofts, Buffalo; John F. Crosby,
William S. Culbertson, Harry F. Cun
ningham, J. Harry Cunningham, sec
retary the Gridiron Club; J. Maxson
Cunningham, Arthur M. Curtis, Re
publican national committeeman of
Missouri.
D.
Donald A. Bailey, Rochester, N. Y.;
Jonathan Daniels, the Raleigh News
and Observer; Joseph E. Davies. John
W. Davidge, Frederic A. Delano, Leo
C. de Orsey, Frederick L. Devereux, sr„
New York City; Senator L. J. Dickin
son, Iowa; Thomas J. Dillon, Minne
apolis Tribune; Harrison H. Dodge,
Mount Vernon, Va.; William J. Don
aldson, jr.. superintendent House of
Representatives press gallery.
E.
Fred East, Stephen T. Early, assist
ant secretary to the President: How
ard Ehrlich, the Electrical World;
Aymar Embury. 2d, New York City;
Morris D. Ervin, Cincinnati Times
Star; J. Fred Essary. the Baltimore
Sun; John Esty, New York City: Mark
Ethridge. Times-Dispatch. Richmond;
Elwyn Evans, Wilmington, Del.; Lee
Evans, Cincinnati Enquirer.
F.
Warren C. Fairbanks, the Indian
apolis News; F. S. Fales, New York
City; Maurice L. Farrell, New York
City; Charles A. Fell, the Birmingham
News; Arthur G. Fessenden, Carter
Field, the Boston Herald; Represent
ative Hamilton Fish, jr., New York:
John H. Fisher, Philadelphia: John
C. Fitzpatrick, Salt Lake Tribune;
William D. Flanders, James R. Flem
ing, Fort Wayne, Ind.; Robert V.
Fleming, president American Bankers'
Association; Henry P. Fletcher, chair
man Republican National Committee;
Mark Foote, the Grand Rapids Press;
Rudolf Forster, executive secretary,
White House; Warren B. Francis, the
Los Angeles Times; L. C. Fritch, Chi
cago.
G
cnaries p. Gabieman, Waverly, Ohio,
E. W. Gabieman, the Cincinnati En
quirer; George L. Gabieman. Ports
mouth, Ohio; J. Wesley Gabieman.
Portsmouth. Ohio; Walter H. Gable
man. Portsmouth. Ohio; William N.
Gabieman, Columbus. Ohio: Harry M.
Gansman, Philadelphia; W. Gwynn
Gardiner, David E. Gardner, Jr.,
Portsmouth, Ohio; Charles R. Gay,
New York City; Gus Gennerich, W. S.
Gilmore, the Detroit News; C. J.
Gockeler. Mark L. Goodwin, the Dallas
News; Michael A. Gorman, the Flint
Journal; Rear Admiral Cary T. Gray
son, chairman American Red Cross;
Charles O. Gridley. the Denver Post;
A. McK. Griggs, the Portsmouth (Va.)
Star; John Groves, Charles S. Groves,
the Boston Globe.
H.
Alvin W, Hall, director, Bureau of
Engraving and Printing: Edwin H.
Halsey, secretary of the United States
Senate; Jefferson M. Hamilton. John
Hamilton. Republican national com
mitteeman of Kansas; James M. Ham
mond, R. M. Hanes, Winston-Salem,
N. C.; Walter M. Harrison, Oklahoma
City Oklahoma «fc Times; Represent
ative Dow W. Harter. Ohio; William
D. Hassett, Senator Daniel O. Hastings,
Delaware; P. W. Hankins, Philadel
phia ; William W. Hawkins, Scripps
Howard Newspapers; William H. Hay
cock, assistant city postmaster; Jay G.
Hayden, the Detroit News; William
Randolph Hearst, jr., Hearst News
papers; A. E. Heiss, the Traffic World;
Dr. Joseph M. Heller, secretary of the
Carabao Club; Guy V. Helvering, In
ternal Revenue commissioner; M. E.
Hennessy, the Boston Globe; Arthur
S. Henning, the Chicago Tribune; Dr.
William P. Herbst, Representative
William E. Hess, Ohio; G. Burton Hib
bert, Providence; Dr. D. Percy Hick
iing. Max Hill, the Associated Press;
Charles D. HiUes, Republican national
committeeman of New York; Byron
Hilliard, Harrod’s Creek. Ky.: Joseph
H. Himes. Dr. Ralph Blake Hindman,
Buffalo; Brig. Gen. Prank T. Hines,
director, Veterans’ Affairs; Harold B.
Hinton, the New York Times; H. L.
Hodges, Wayne. Ohio; Paul Hodges,
the Cleveland Plain Dealer; Frank J.
Hogan, Roy C. Hollis, the New York
Daily News; George R. Holmes, the
International News; Harry L. Hopkins,
works progress administrator; Fred E.
Hornaday, Hilton Hornaday, the Buf
falo Evening News; James H. Horna
day. Swarthmore. Pa.: N. R. Howard,
Cleveland Plain Dealer: Theodore A.
Huntley, director of publicity, Republi
can National Committee; Hilleary G.
Hoskinson, Charles W. B. Hurd, the
New York Times; Emil Hurja.
J.
Philip L. Jackson, the Oregon Jour
nal; C. F. Jacobsen, Edwin L. James,
the New York Times; George P. James,
Prank R. JellefT, Pyke Johnson. Chi
cago, HI.; Earl j. Johnson, the United
Press Association; Harvey M. Johnson,
St. Louis; Harold T. Jolley, St. Louis;
Charles A. Jones, Jesse Jones, chair
man, Reconstruction Finance Corp.;
Sam M. Jones, Theodore G. Joslin.
K.
Walter Karig, the Newark Evening
News; R. M. Kauffmann, The Wash
ington Evening Star; Victor Kauff
mann. The Washington Evening Star;
Joseph B. Keenan, the assistant to the
Attorney General: Joseph P. Kennedy.
New York City; Frank R. gent, the
Sun, Baltimore; Russell Kent, the
Birmingham News; Dr. Sothoron Key,
Charles P. Keyser, the St. Louis Globe
Democrat; Bayard L. Kilgour, jr.,
Cincinnati: John S. Knight, Beacon
Journal. Akrgn; Senator William H.
King, Utah: A. H. Kirchhofer. the
Buffalo Evening News; William H. Y.
Knighton, jr., the Sun, Baltimore:
Frank Knox, the Chicago Daily News;
Frank W. Kridel. New York City;
Arthur Krock, the New York Times;
Schuyler D. Kudner, New York City.
L.
Cliff M. Lacy, Hillsboro. Ohio; John
T. Lambert, Universal Service; Robert
R. Lane, the Newark Evening News;
Mack L. Langford, John A. LaRue, the
Cincinnati Enquirer, Cincinnati; Albert
D. Lasker, Chicago; Archie Lee, St.
Louis; Ralph W. Lee, jr.; E. T. Leech,
the Pittsburgh Press, Pittsburgh;
Edgar K. Legg, Dr. Rudolph Leitner,
counsellor, German Embassy; G.
Gould Lincoln, The Washington Eve
ning Star; Albert L. Lindley, New
York City; Senator Jamea Hamilton
I
Lewis, Illinois; Representati# Law*
renee Lewis, Colorado; Sir wllmott
Lewis, the London Times; Thomas D.
Lewis, Charles P. Light, secretary of
the Alfalfa Club; Harold Lloyd, Holly
wood; Emil Loehl, Lenox R. Lohr, New
York City; George B. Longan, the
Kansas City Star. Kansas City: Ed
ward G. Lowry, Edmund C. Lynch,
New York City.
M.
Hanford MacNider, Iowa; John G.
Madden, Kansas City; William DeF.
Manice. New York City; Daulton
Mann. New York City; Edward Mark
ham, Representative Joseph W. Mar- >
tin, jr„ Massachusetts; Frank E. ;
Mason, New York City: L. Randolph!
Mason, New York City: Judson V.
Matthews; Clair Maxwell, Life, New
York City; Alan C. Maxwell, Leo C.
May, Harrison McCann, New York
City; C. Walter McCarty, the In
dianapolis News; Stewart McDonald,
Federal Housing Administration: Paul
J, McGahan, the Philadelphia In
quirer; Marvin H. McIntyre, assistant
secretary to the President; John J.
McLaughlin, Philadelphia Evening
Public Ledger; John R. McLean, Wil
liam S. McLean, Detroit, Mich; Sena
tor Charles L. McNary, Oregon: Maj.
Hains M, Melasky, Fort Meade: Wil
liam R. Meldrum. the Buffalo Evening
News, Buffalo; Lowell Mellett, the
Washington Daily News; Herbert R. I
Mengert, the Cincinnati Enquirer. Co- j
lumbus, Ohio; Senator Jesse H. Met
:all, Rhode Island; Dr. Ernst Wilhelm
Meyer, the German Embassy; Eugene
Meyer, the Washington Post; Charles
Michelson. Alten 6. Miller, Princeton,
N. J.; F. A. Miller, the Tribune. South
Bend. Ind.; Lee G. Miller, Scripps
Howard newspapers; Webb Miller.
European manager United Press Asso
ciations; James S. Milloy. the Min
neapolis Tribune; James E. Mills, jr.,
the Birmingham Post; Dr. John Minor,
Senator Sherman Minton, Indiana;
Lieut. Clinton A. Misson, James E.
Moffett, New York City; William
Montgomery. Dr. William Cabell
Moore, William E. Moore, the Sun,
Baltimore; William H. Moran. Thomas
A. Morgan, New York City; Henry C.
Morris, Charles M. Morrison, Phila
delphia Evening Public Ledger, H.
Tudor Morsell, Malcolm Muir, McGraw
Hill Publications; Representative Abe
Murdock, Utah; Fred V. Murphy. Hugh
E. Murray, New York City; George A.
Myers, John F. Myers.
N.
John L. Neudoerfer, Wheeling: Harry
J. Neumiller. Peoria; Stephen C. No
land, the Indianapolis News: Burt
New, E. E. Norris, Frank B. Noyes,
president, the Associated Press; L. Bert
Nye.
o.
Robert L. O'Brien, chairman United
States Tariff Commission; Daniel
O’Connell, Fitchburg, Mass.; George
H. O’Connor, Representative John J.
O’Connor. New York: William F.
O’Donnell, D. Harold Oliver, the As
sociated Press; Lee E. dwell, the New
York Evening Journal, N. Y.
P.
Richard C. Palmer, Denver; George
B. Parker. Scrtpps-Howard newspa
pers: John E. Parker. Harry L. Parkin
son, Dr. Charles S. Parsons, Industrial
and Egineering Chemistry; Robert H.
Patchln, New York City; Grove Patter
son, president American Society of
Newspaper Editors; Lute Pease, the
Newark Evening News; Judge Arthur
Peter, Louisville; Arthur Pierce. Ed
ward A. Pierce. New York City; Camp
bell Pilcher, New York City: Paul
Plaschke, the Times, Louisville, Ky ;
C. H. Pope, Nelson Potter, Charles
Presbrey, New York City; Frank Pres
brey, New York City; James D. Pres
ton, Ord Preston, ChlTord A. Prevost,
the Detroit Free Press: Byron Price,
the Associated Press: Arthur C.
Proutv, Hillsboro, Ohio; Dr. Paul S.
Putzki.
Q.
Ralph Quinn, the Cincinnati En
quirer, Cincinnati.
R.
A. A. D. Rahn. Minneapolis: Clem
J. Randan, the United Press Associ
ation; E. Lansing Ray, St. Louis
Globe-Democrat: Sam Rayburn, Rep
resentative from Texas; William P.
Raymond, Roland L. Redmond. New
York City; Joseph P. Reddy, Holly
wood; A P. Reeves; Charles R, Rey
(Continued orT Page A-17.j
W. <c J. Sloane 711 Twelfth Street
We Want You to Know!
For some reason high quality is always
associated with high price in the public
mind. An altogether wrong impression—
and one that Sloane’s is deeply interested
in overcoming—for we are
Always High Grade;
Never High Priced
Here are some demonstrating examples—an inspection of which will
prove interesting and illuminating.
Note the emphasis we place on the mahoganies used in the construction
of these pieces—for they are the genuine sweitenia mahoganies, which make
the quoted price more remarkable.
irr I 1 V 1 •
it e leant you to tinoie tnat you can ouy—at stoane s
Martha Washington Open Arm Chair; ex
posed parts of solid Cuban mahogany. Full
spring seat; all horsehair filled. Covered in
attractive damasks, tapestries, etc.
For .$29*50
Sloane Colan Easy Chair—an ideal chair
for lounging and reading; horsehair filled,
with down-filled cushion and covered in a
wide selection of new fabrics_For S54
Colan Love Seat. A companion piece for
the above chair. Covered in choice of pleas
ing fabrics __ _ For S95
Colan Sofa. The simplicity of its design
makes it adaptable for all rooms and decor
ative schemes. Sloane construction- Covered
in rich tapestries _ __ _ For $125
Bennington Wing Chair, that popular Early
Colonial model. Popular for its comfort and
famous for Sloane construction. Covered in
artistic tapestrv__ _For $56
Solid Maple Ladder Back Chair with hand
woven splint seat...For 83.75
Solid Cuban Mahogany Empire Side Chair,
seat upholstered in damask. Excellent chair
lor dining, bridge or occasional use.
For S16
Genuine Honduras Mahogany Coffee Table,
Sheraton design; with beautifully turned ped- ,
estal base; brass feet.For 86.75
Sheraton Drum Table. Genuine Amazon
mahogany, with beautifully turned base; brass
feet. Fitted with drawer.For 837.50
18th Century English End Table, genuine
Honduras mahogany; shelf in base. For 88
Genuine Honduras Mahogany Lamp Table,
Colonial design; fretted gallery—For 815
rx t _ / r»_ •
Cuban Mahogany,
American Sheraton
Dining Room Suite,
with Cuban veneers.
Finished in the beauti
ful old red color. 10
pieces complete.
For si 98
Genuine Honduras
Mahogany, American
Colonial Bed Room
Suite, with carved
spread eagles on
drawer panels. 8 pieces
including twin beds.
For SI98
Solid Maple, Early
American Bed Room
Suite. A product of
our own workshops.
Finished with the peg
construction and
color worn edges pe
culiar to its period. 8
pieces_For S169
Blond Maple, Mod
ern Bed Room Suite—
while modern in de
sign, very suggestive
of the 18th Century
grace and charm. 8
pieces_For 8275
Imported Pottery
Table Lamps. Com
plete with shade.
For S6-50
Indirect Floor
Lamps with I. E. S.
specifications. Pleasing
designs. For
813.50
In the
"Sloane Nook"
The Xook Special for the
week April 20th to 25th is a
Solid Honduras Mahogany Bed
Room Suite of the Early Co
lonial period. Twin poster beds
with acorn tops. All the pieces
are in consistent proportion,
and finished in the fine old
red color. Seven pieces, in
cluding the twin beds.
$235
Pieces may be purchased
separately at proportionate
prices.
L/IUJP J-iCOX X/U1U.OU
Phyfe Library Table
with carved base, claw
feet, and fitted with
two drawers.
For S49
Jefferson Console
Card Table. Genuine
mahogany and an ex
cellent reproduction
of the original.
For $35
Genuine Honduras
Mahogany Chippendale
Table Nest; sturdily
constructed and of
practical sizes.
For S17-50
Solid Rock Maple
Early American Sec
retary Desk—a design
true to the period.
F"r $65
Genuine Honduras
Mahogany Duncan
Phyfe Living Room or
Dining Table, with
pedestal base; brass
claw feet; fitted with
drawers. Will seat 6
people_For $40
Genuine Honduras
Mahogany Duncan
Phyfe Cocktail Table;
with double pedestal
base_For $15
Genuine Honduras
Mahogany Empire
Magazine Rack; dec
orative piece that is
very practical.
For $10.50
Boudoir Lamps in a wide variety of new
designs. Beginning..For 82.95
Genuine Honduras Mahogany Pie Crust
Table; with attractively turned base and Old
World finish-For 817-50
Solid Rock Maple Early American Open
Book Case of practical size and attractive
design_For 825
Oriental Rugs—Handsome Kermanshahs,
famous in the family of Orientals. Size 9x12.
For 8220
Group of Lillehan, Arak and Herez Rugs,
justly celebrated for their durability and ar
tistic color expression. Size 9x12. For $165
Sarouk and Ispahan Rugs in the soft, mel
low colorings typical of these famous looms.
Size 9x12___For $185
Alexander Smith & Sons Broadlooni Car
pets in the famous Tru-tone colors. Several
grades and widths. Beginning, sq. yd.
For $3.95
Charge Accounts Courtesy Parking
Gladly opened, with settlements While shopping here, park in the
arranged for your convenience. Capital Garage at our expense. _ «
.r„. W. & J. Sloane "r*
The House With the Green Shutters -