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Don’t arrive bag and baggage if you weren’t asked The reopening of the New York and San Francisco Fairs also re opens the problem of the hostess whose situation is indicated by the following dialogue: Mother: "We missed both fairs last year. 1 do wish we could take the children to one of them this year!" Chorus from the children: "Hurrah, hurrah! When do we start?” Mother: “Oh, darlings, not so fast! It costs a lot of money to stay in a big city.” , Aunt Poliana: “It needn't. We can all go and stay with Mary and John.” Mother: “They haven’t invited us!” Aunt Poliana: "They’d be glad to have us.” Mother: “I'd love to see dear Mary again — but I don't like the idea of asking for an invitation.” Aunt Poliana: "Why, they wouldn’t want us to ask I Just the two of them rattling around in that big house. Just think how glad Mary’ll be to see the children.” This conversation is, of course, imaginary, but it is put together from letters written in behalf of families whose homes, happening to be within convenient distance of one fair or the other, were invaded last year by self invited guests and are in line lor an other invasion this year. Relatives and friends, sometimes not heard from for years, suddenly arrive in the tran Be Sure You're Invited It's neither courteous nor right to impose upon friends who live near the Fairs Author of "Etiquette: The Blue Book of Social Usage/1 "The Personality of a House,” Etc. •quil belief that their surprise visit could not be other than welcome. Often it is—but sometimes the ex perience of those who receive surprise guests is distressing. Many letters come from people who obviously have little money for extras and who live in small apart ments or houses which have no spare rooms. Their situation needs no ex planation. But the embarrassment to those who are apparently well-to-do has, so far as 1 know, never been dis cussed. And so for this article I air. especially choosing the problem pre sented in the following letter: "We found out last year that hav ing a house within easy distance of the fair was a very trying experience. Be fore the summer was over, we had had thirty-seven guests (including babies) and the majority were self-invited. Among these, many were delightful It gave us the greatest amount of pleasure to have them stay with us. No Consideration 11 j If ai.l visitors were as considerate as these, I would not be writing this letter. But the facts were that a number of those who swooped down upon us, I'm sorry to say, showed no consideration whatsoever. Our situa tion is hard to explain, but the fact that we were still living in our niuch too-big house was taken to mean that our hospitality need have no limits. The t ruth is that seven years of effort to sell the place has brought not a single offer — even to take it at the price of the mortgage. Our maids, who have been with us for nearly twenty years, shall never be parted with, so long as we can keep them. “You, dear Mrs. Post, know the story well. It is that of many of us Yesterdays'. However, our visitors only saw a very big and, to all appear ance, perfectly run house. They prob ably never dreamed that additional market bills could have been worrying. How to be forearmed against a repe tition of these experiences is what I want you to tell me!” In answer to this, it is true that visitors who have always taken care of their own homes can easily under stand the discomfort, embarrassment or distress that self-invited guests can inflict upon the Littleflats. But that the. ( j r eat houses can be equally dis comfited by relatives or friends, who take advantage of their hospitality, is something that the unthoughtful seldom stop to note. N'or do they seem to realize that domestic employees have exactly the same rights as any other employees. They are supposed to work a reason ably definite number of hours, in which they complete a definite rou tine of work. To be sure, this has transient increases and decreases but it should keep an average line. Plainly then, to put a double amount of work upon them, either often or for undue lengths of time, is an unfair thing, which can not be other than disturb ing to a conscientious employer. Another point: Every visitor who „tays with Mrs. Ownwork feels im pelled to help her. at least to some degree. But the Ownworks. going to stay with the Greathouses, all too often take it for granted that a butler and a parlor maid, for example, have nothing to do but wait on them. But to return to those who are making plans to go to the West coast or the East. There are certain points of courtesy which should be brought to their attention. It may, ol course, be quite all right to stop one night at Cousin Clara's, and another at Aunt Sue's, and it may completely delight • dear Mary” and John to have five long-mislaid relatives surprise them. But among the primary rules of cour tesy. are those that follow. Here Are the Rules Ne\ 'ER make yourself at home in any house, it its owners have at no time urged you to do so. lne only place in the world where one can freely go without an invitation is home — to one’s parents! Home always remains ’’home”! On the other hand, not even parents themselves should go and stay in the house of a child, without asking beforehand if it will be con venient to have them at that time. Once upon a time many families living in the country kept open house, and intimate friends were invited to come as often and for as long as they liked. But of late years, the rules of hospitality have had to conform to crowded lives and smaller houses, lim ited leisure, flattened pocketbooks. For many years it has been a fixed rule of proper behavior, that a host and hostess must invite the guests, and must tell them exactly how long they are expected to stay. On the other hand, in answer to the letter from the owner of the very big house, unhappily there is none! Her only hope is that relatives and friends may wake up to the restric tions imposed by common custom and courtesy. Released by The Bell Syndicate, Inc. ... a*u/SO zweuf/ Dirt ! Dust ! Perspiration ! Away they go . . . all of them, the very first time you use the amazing new Admiration Oil Shampoo. And your hair — washed really clean — becomes so lovely. . .soft as down, and utterly radiant with glorious sparkling highlights. Don’t delay. You can have lovely hair . . . and right as^ay! So ask ~ your druggist for Admiracion Oil Shampoos. There are two types, “non-lather” in the red carton, and “lathering” in the green carton. Remember — one treatment shows 'the difference. 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