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TEACHIN’ ARITHMETIC
The kids are goin’ back to school all over the
country which, if I was a school teacher,
would be reason enough to wonder if I was in a rut.
You see, a mama an’ papa get older every year
an’ the kids do likewise. But if you are teachin’
the third grade, every September you look out at
30 or 40 nine-year-olds just the same.
There they are, scrubbed an’ hopeful. Maybe
some are only hopeful they won’t have to learn
nothin’, but if I remember right, when you are
nine you are just plain hopeful, without goin' into
particulars.
My missus’ sister was a school teacher un
til she discovered that third graders wasn’t
gettin’ any older an’ she wasn’t gettin’ any
younger. So she moved over to the parent side
of the Parent-Teachers Association.
“Mildred,” I say to this sister-in-law the other
day, “how old is your boy, Pete?”
“Eight,” Mildred tells me. “Nine next month.”
I went out in the yard to talk things over with
young Pete an’ we fell to discussin’ the educational
system. He thinks there is room for improvement.
“Uncle Wally,” Pete says. “I would like my
teacher better if she knew what she was talkin’
about1”
riow ao you mean.’' i ask nun.
“Well, she will say, ‘Now we will say our sixes,' ’’
he explains. "Then we say six times one, six times
two — just like that. The other day I asked her,
six what?" Pete says. “An’ she raps on her
desk an’ tells me to pay attention.”
“I guess you got her rattled,” I tell him.
“Well, I think when somebody says six times you
ought to know what they mean, don’t you?”
I am a little rattled myself by now but just then
the back door flies open an’ Mildred calls out:
“Pete I’ve called you six times an’ if you don’t
get in here — ’”
“See, Uncle Wally,” Pete tosses over his shoul
der as he starts movin’, “when my mama says
fix times, we both know what she means. She
means ‘this is the last time before I come after
you with a hairbrush.’ ” — WALLY BOREN
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