OCR Interpretation

The day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, December 12, 1911, Image 8

Image and text provided by University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL

Persistent link: https://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83045487/1911-12-12/ed-1/seq-8/

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tickled in my life as I was wHen
I saw the old woman at the lime
As a resuk of the message sent
out by the passengers Gov. Hay
of Washington, was planning a
rescue expedition to get the lad
off when he arrived here safe on
the Rosalie.
"I thought I would hide away
until the ship started, and then
work my way, when they found
me," sajd the boy. "I didn't have
any money to pay passage and I
was willing to work my way,
home, but the captain wouldn't
even let me do that"
First Comedian "George
Washington was the first Amer
ican to make the flag.FAMOUS."
Second. Comedian ''Yes, but
George Cohan was the first tq
make it PAY." Cook & Lorenz.
Floor-walker (to cash girl)
"Why don't you get married,
Cash-girl "Say, you! the priv
ilege of handing my envelppe
over to some Johnny every Sat
urday doesn't appeal to yours
truly nix!" "Maggie Pepper.''
Jones (to star boarder) r
"What was that crash I heard in
your room early 'this morning?"
Star Boarder "That crash?
Oh, that was somebody deliver
ing a load of beer."
' Jones "A load of beer 'in my
Star Boarder "Yes I was
the load." Cook & Lorenz.
Mrs. Nagg "I can't help it
It.'s your own fault, that I'm al
ways scolding. Why, ever since
we've been married we've been
quarreling Do you remember
our honeymoon? Do 'yu re"
member I sat a whole hour and
didn't speak to you?"
Husband "Do I remember?
You bet your life, I do. I'll never
forget it. That hour was the
happiest of my life." Shroede &
Mr. Peevish If some women
only knew what they look like
and sound like, they wouldn't
dress so freaky, and wouldn't put
on such airs."
Mrs. Peevish (her chance afi
last) Yes, and if some men were
introduced to THEMSELVES,
when in. company, they would be.
ashamed of the' acquaintance.
Gus Williams.
Pessimist Oh, he's no good
His folks are no goodand his an-i
cestors were thieves, and so is he;
one, too i
Optimist, (interrupting him);
Look here, my man, yoii
shouldn't be knocking a man be
cause he's in bad, or he's up,
against it. Why, even a tomb
stone says good things about a
man when he's down. Harry;
Beresford and Company.

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