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Newspaper Page Text
JNine times out of ten the fans
are taken as much unawares as
the opposition. Such plays thrill
and the fan thrives on sensations.
SCIENCE OF "LIVING"
Funny how these scientific fel
lows change their minds from day
vto day. A week ago and you
would have "died if you drank
water with your meals." Now
they say it doesn't do any harm
at all. One variety says: "Eat
meat, lots of it, to build good,
.rich blood." Another-says meat
is poison, that vegetables are the
only food. A third declares that
meat and vegetables increase de
bility and that you will live twice
as long on raw fruits and nuts..
Some say "stretch the stomach
once a day." Others advocate
small and frequent portions.
Some say. "talk with your meals,
laugh, it makes the food digest !"
Others insist that silence is nev
er so golden as at the table.
They used to advocate spring
heeled shoes. Now some of them
say that the natural arch of the
foot demands the support of high
heels. One day they'll tell the
women that they will kill off their
children and die in agonies them
selves, if they wear corsets. The
next day, up pops a "physico"
and announces that properly fit
ted corsets are a boon to wom
enkind. One species advise exer
cise of all kinds, the more strenu
ous the better.
From the next scientific pige
jDnhoM we draw the remark that
exercise, except the most mild,
destroys the tissues faster than
we can replace them and thus
brings on old age.
Oh, what's the use of listening
to them? Turn 'em on each oth
er and let 'em go to it ! Then we
can just get down and enjoy life.
If we balance up our work, play
and sleep, get exercise enough to
be happy, eat enough so we're not
hungry exceptjn between times,
guess we'll get along all right.
By Berton Braley.
When I am feeling sick and sore
And longing for much sym
pathy, Some ten or twenty friends or
Will hand this sort of thing to
"By Georgeold man, I'm glad to
You're looking fine; I wish that I
Could-be as well as you must be
I envy you your health Good
But when I feel as fit and fine
As anybody ever did
Each man I meet along the line
Says, "Gee, you're looking bad
I'm afraid you're on the down
Brace up, or maybe you will die,
You're standing on a coffin lid,
I hat e to see you ill Good Bye !"
To fate I therefore make appeal
I want to look the way I feel !
Assumed goodness makes an
awfully painful picture.