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LITTLE OLD NEW YORK
(The J. O. B. Tells of a Learned
Professor's Mishap)
n. y., Monday gee, the funny
est thing i herd about for a dog's
age hapened into a medikel col
lidge up town the uther day
one of the perfessers had been
over to yoorup and he brot back 3
or 4 littel glass tubes filled with
jerms
you know, jerms is them things
that people die of only they dont
know it, they just think they got
smallpox or sumthing, but reely
its the jerms, v so the'dockters
says, anyway!
well, this perfesser he had
rounded up a bunch of the most
ornery jerms that there was in all
yoorup, and he had them in t'he
littel glass tubes
so this morning i am telling
about he was giving a leckture on
jerms to a class in the collidge,
and he had all his nice new bot
tels of jerms to- show them
there was about two dozen fel
lers in the class, and the janniter
he happened to be in the room
too, finishing up with his dusting
so the perfesser he' held up a
cuppel of the littel glass tubes in
the fingers of the rite hand, and
he ses to the class, ses he
gentlemen, hear i hold in my
hand the dedliest jerms known to
science, if there was 600 elefants
in a sircus tent, and 4 or 5 of the
jerms witch i have in these hear
tubes was let loose in that there
te.nt, them 600 elefants could
kiss theirselves goodbye, they
wouldent last no longer than a
clean coller in pittsberg
and the glass tubes fellon Athe
fiore and Dustea an iu pieces
well my goodniss you never
seen sutch a excitement, all that
class was trying to get out of the
dore at once, and they got stuck
in the dore, and the perfesser he
climbed out on a winder sill and
holered for a fire ladder
the janniter he had a head
start, and he run 6 miles befoar
he stopped, he ain't been within
10 blocks of the .collidge sinse, '
he says they can get a new janni
ter for all him
the perfesser and the class and
the room has all been fumygated
and sterilized and disinfected,
and they are hopin for the best
johny
OUR PRECISE ARTIST
v JJZ jj fan
"She spoke at great length.'
o o
Judging from what they both
say on how" to get rich, it is a
mighty good thing for one or the
other that Carnegie and Rocke
feller didn't start in the same
business.
.jci-i.'-fe-
g&t.