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Newspaper Page Text
Goin' gimme a resh? Go right
ahead. Need resh bad.'
, "We got him in the wagon all
right, but he was half asleep and
talking about having his head to
the engine when his berth was
made up, and he thought I was a
train porter. But when we got
him to the station he walked up
and started to talk again. He
hauled out his watch, and it was
just pointing to 12 o'clock. He
looked at it in a puzzled way.
" 'Goin' give me resh, offiisher?
Better give watch Tesh, too. Here
it is midnight, and my old watch
pointing to noon. Watcha know
about that? Gimme resh, give
watch resh; both need it.' And
then we put him to sleep in a
"What seemed tobe the matter
with him?" asked the judge.
"Your honor," Richter was
very confidential; "he seemed to
Mr. Buchanan was allowed to
go home, but the judge advised
him to carry a compass in the
future, to prevent him becoming
lost in any more "impenetrable
Judge How did you happen
to hit this -man with the brick if
you didn't throw it at him?
Mrs. Reilly Because, your
honor, I trowed it at some one
Judge (to young man.) How
do you earn your living?
Young Boy I kill pigs like my
"When I planted grass seed
nothing but weeds came up. Now
I've planted weed seeds, but not
a bit of grass came up. What I
want to know is, what do you
plant to make grass come up ?"
OLD ENGLISH TOASTS
Here's to the fine outs and one
in out of heel, and of toe, out of
money, out of clothes, out of cred
it and in debt.
Here's to the nine B's baker's
bust bread, butcher's best beef
and brewer's best beer.
Here's to the roof we are un
der ; may it never fall in ; and may
those that are under it never fall
Eight hours work, eight hours
play, eight hours rest and eight
shillings a day for those that can
get it. '
Unmended hose often puts out
the fires of love.