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Newspaper Page Text
'" " vT ""Bl
jthis was just a little sarcazzem,
the feller dont never have no
money to buy himself a drink,
and durn well she knows it
so away he goes with his nice
new gloves with his name into
them, and first crack out of the
box he pulls sumthing new by
losing both ofthem
but it was not alljn vain that
he had his name into tfyem, next
day he gets' a letter, apd this is
what it says
deer sju-, 1 arn so glad you put
your name and adress into that
nice pare of gloves you left lay
ing on the seat next to me in the
subway, utherwise i would not of
known who to thank for them
they are just my size and i sure
did need a pare of gloves, with
many many thanks, i remane,
yours truly, '
the worst qfTit is,- thepoor fel
ler s wife is so mad she wont give
him no money "for a new; pare of
gloves, andhehas got to pass up
the lunches' till he hasgot it saved
up, such is life when married
? HAD HIS BEARINGS
An Irishman walked up Fifth
lave., dropped into a Presbyterian
erchurch and immediately went to
Jsleep. After the services were
over the sexton came and shook
"'him by the arm.
,7 "We are about to close up,"
"said that functionary, "and I'll
have to ask, you to go now."
ic What talk have you?" said
ithe Irishman. "The cathedral
"This is not the cathedral' ,
said the sexton. "The cathedral
is several blocks above here. This
is a Presbyterian church'
The Irishman sat up'' with a
jerk and Joqked about him. On
thp walls between the windows
were handsome paintings of the
Apostles. - .
"Ainlt, that Saint Luk over
"It is' saidVfhe sexton.
"And Saint Marlc just'beyant
And, still farthei along, Saint
Timothy?" ' T
"Yes." J '
"Young man' dernanded the
Irishn1an,gjsince whin did all
thim turaTErofestants?'' Satur
HOW TO DRY WET SHOES
If you get caught in the rain
wjth a good pair of shoes on, re
move them as sdon a$ you enter
the house and if you do not pos
sess a pair of tree.?, stuff them
tight and hard withlissue paper,
squeezing(it well into sfyape. Wipe
off all the mud with a soft rag.
Place the shoes in a draught, soles
upward, and let them dry slowly.
On no accdunt put them to dry
by the fire.
Mrs. Newlvwed-r-Oh, Jack, the
cook was in such a, disagreeable
mood today that I hadto call a
policeman. - '
Mr. Newlywed What to ar
Mrs. Newlywed-Noto pacify