Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1789-1963 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
THE MOTHER INSTINCT.
SMOKE UP! '
The next time your wife pro-
T lests about your cuddy pipe,-its
smell, its ashes on -her pet par-
lQr carpets, etc., etc., just look su-
- perior and tejl her to guess again.
iWe men think we smoke because
we like it and there's an end, but
it s not so, no not by a jugful ! We
- are simply fulfilling the demands
of our race, our climate, and our
You don't believe it? Then-
listen to M. Wattville, French
scientist and collector pi pipes.
He has collected so long and
smoked so much that he has
evolved a regular philosophy of
-'the pipe, as follows
1 The activity of a race is in
proportion to the length of the
stem of the pipe.
2 The shorter the pipe, the
more laborious the nation.
3 The longer the pipe, the
lazier the race.
4 The more frugal the nation,
he smaller the pipe.
5 A large pipe isvthe sure sign
bf a wasteful and sensual nation.
6 The mind of the race may
be deduced exactly from its way
7 Tell me what you smoke
and I will tell you what you are.
Personally, being a hardwork
iner, saving cuss, we' smoke a
short-stemmed, small - bowled
pipe, don't you?
Husband Has your morning
paper come yet?
Wife I think so. There's a
noise on the piazza that sounds,
kfc a Sunday; supplement.
"I am very fond of my doll
baby; aren't you?"
"Oh, yes. But it's very natural
for one to be fond of one's own
flesh and sawdust"
OUR PRECISE ARTIST.
"Not for publication."
There are 2,750 languages and ,
oajectsjn thepxlda. A