Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1789-1963 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
'.. " POOR WILLIE.
In a school one day the children
had been examined and their eyes
tested, according to the school
hoard's latest decree.-
Those who were suffering from
any defects had notes given them
to take home to their parents.
Among the notQ bearers -was one
by the name of WJllie Jones, and
the note he bore was as follows :
"Dear Sir I wish to inform
you that your son William shows
signs of astigmatism, which
ought to be attended td at once.
Yours faithfully, J. W., teacher,"
On his return from dinner Wil
lie brought this reply: ,
"Dear Sir I don't know what
it is that WillieVbeen doing, but
I walloped him well this dinner
time, and you can have another
go at him if he isn't any better.
Yours truly, William Jones."
It was summer time and the
master had been entertaining the
boys in his own garden and feed
ing them with generous supplies
of strawberries ami cream.
"Have you enjoyed your
strawberry feast?"- he asked as
they were leaving.
"Oh, yes, sir!" came the reply.
"Then," asked the master,
seeking to point a moral, "if you
had slipped into my garden and
picked those strawberries with
out my leave, would they have
tasted as good?"
"Why not?" he asked.
"Because," said one small ur
chin, with an air of conscious vir-a
rr ia$ too svjft J I 3hn e so
tue, "we shouldn't have had any
sugar or cream with them."
What the Minister Saw.
A minister in a small country
village, who was noted for his ab
sentmindedness, was once ob
served to stop excitedly in his ser
mon and mutter: "I knew she"
would! I knew she would !"
After the service someone
asked him the reason.
"Dear me!" said he;, "did.l?
Well, you know, from the pulpit
I can see old Mrs. Adams' garden.
and this morning she was pulling
ug a cabbage, and I thought
'Now, if the cabbage comes up
suddenly she'll go over,' and juaS
then up it cante and over sift)