OCR Interpretation

The day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, September 23, 1912, Image 8

Image and text provided by University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL

Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83045487/1912-09-23/ed-1/seq-8/

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"WnW, ' ' ' - - '.-i.'. '
Alas, they've even got the merry undertakers jrjto this, whirl
pool of polices, and it is well that we observehim, because, stfme
day, he is surely going to observe us.
Came a time recently when King county, Wash., must elect a
cqroner. Now, irt foozling around trying to control your own vote
for president, don't overlook the coroner. In these days of autos,
motorbuzzes, electric cars and such, "very Jikejy the coroner will have
to pick you up from the cloud of gasoline smolceand tell that you are
dead, and how you cgie so., Moreover, maybe it will be the cor
oner who will tell to which undertaker's shop your remnants shall
be taken. So, it seems that the cornership is &. pressing issue to
both the general public and to the struggling undertaker.
Anyhow, the good people of King- county aforesaid, nominated
one Dr. Walter Kelton for coroner, whereupon the King County
Undertakers' Social Club went into politics and newspaper adver-i
tising. It bonght large space fn the Seattle papers and what it says
therein is interesting, as showing the seriousness of undertakers, not
to say some tricks of their calling.
"In the nanie of God and humanity help ns elect'Df. Kelton.!1
they cry, in 10-point type, and then them embalm and. lay out the
opposition thus : 5
"We are aware that we have in our club list the Judas who joined
the club and then undertook to make sport of it, But we deny hay
ing the undertaker who nas been trying ta sell hair to the hair stores.
Neither have we the undertaker who has been trying to sell several
hundred dollars' worth of gold (picked from' the teeth of unfortu
nates) to Seattle dentists."
Alas! what will become of us if our joved undertakers, become
imbued with the spirit of the late presidential primary campaign
and we be told not only thafrour hair goes to the hair stores and the
gold in our dead teetji to the dentists, but also that our hide goes to
the tannery and our foe nails to the button factory?
Surely, if the King County Undertakers' Social club platform
means that Coroner Kelton will Jeaye Us our hair, teeth, hide and so
forth, it's a blamed sight more promising platform than most others
that we've waed through and we've just got to whoop it up for
Kelton, in the name of God and humanity, as advertised.
o o
Those dear young Los Angeles
things who signed a free love con
tract before marrying had been
acquainted ten days. Almost like
the way they mate cats or dogs.
Edith Pa is immensely pleas
ed to hear you are a poet Ferdie
Is he? dith Oh, very! The
last of my sweethearts he tried to
kick was a football player. .

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