Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1789-1963 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
KNEW HIS FATHER
The teacher was trying to ex
plain the term "booking,"-as ap
plied to the railway system.
"Now," she was -saying, "can
. any of you tell me the frame of
the office at which railway tickets
"The booking office," replied
one of the lads.
At this moment her eye. fell onN
a small boy at the end of the class
who was evidently paying very
little attention to what she said.
"Did you hear that, Spry?" she
"What, ma'am?" asked the boy,
"As I thought you were not
listening. We will suppose your
father decided to have a day's
holiday and take a trip to Mil
waukee. What would he have to
do before he could take a seat in
Without a moment's thought
the youngster electrified - his
teacher by replying:
"Pawn his tools!"
WHAT HE THOUGHT
If any man ever admired his
wife that man was Howler. And
when the Fitzboodles asked Mrs.
Howler to sing "There Is a Gar
den in My Face," the husbahd
glowed all over with delight and
No matter that she had a face
like a hippopotamus and a voice
like an elephant, he sat beaming
as she sang, and could nofefrain
, from bending over to his neigh
bor and .whispering: "Don't yoti
tDSU STRIMC 2ir:AtJSLMlt'z?tk
SjCfSACK, EF OU PljT9M0f8asC
flap Ci.it rt 4)tR KCMSTdO
a fi (soinc ougrgftw.
neighbor, z I
think that my wife's got
nWhat?" said the
who was a little deaf. -"Don't
you think my wife's got
a fine voice? repeated iowier
"Don't you think my wife's got
a fine voice?" roared Howler.
"Sorry," returned the enighbor,
ctiaUinin- Tiic tipaA 'Can't hear a
word you say. Tht awful womaggfe
over tnere is maKmg sutu
frightful row with her smging."
Wife How do you. suppose
those dozens and dozens-of empty
bottles ever got into our cellar? "-
Hubbv I don t know: 1 never-
bought an mpty bottle jn my life, J