OCR Interpretation

The day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, November 16, 1912, Image 17

Image and text provided by University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL

Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83045487/1912-11-16/ed-1/seq-17/

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The story is told of an army
examiner who once had before
him a stupid candidate. The can
didate being, apparently, unable
to answer the simplest questions,
the examiner finally grew most
impatient, and in a burst of sar
casm demanded:
"Let it be supposed, sir, that
you were a captain in command
of infantry; that in your rear was
an impassable abyss ; that on both
sides of you there rose perpendic
ular rocks of tremendous height;
that in front of you lay the enemy
outnumbering you ten to one.
What, sir, in such an emergency
would you do?"
"Sir," responded the applicant
for military distinction, "I should
o o
A charming young gentleman,
about 4 years of age, used to pass
a certain lady's house every day
on his way to kindergarten. In
the course of time she made his
acquaintance and gave him a
penny each morning.
Eventually his mother request
ed her not to give him any more
money and the next morning she
did not present the usual penny.
He did not seem to notice the
omission. The succeeding day,
when the penny was not given to
him, he said nothing. But on the
morning of the third day, when
the penny was not forthcoming,
he sidled up to her and whispered:
"Say, Mrs. Jones, what's the
matter?-"Is your husband out of
u 1
.TIGHT MrGoorNESsJ uaSj?
V must hot &-jy ;
"De choir am now about to vo
ciferate," said good old Parson
Bagster during a recent SabbatHj
morning's service in EbenezerJ
Qhapel, "and uh-whilst dey am a
doin' of it I solemnly suggests dat
de mothers of dem sassj' child'en
dat has been uh-'sturbin' de con
gregation take dis occasion t6
spank 'em. Dis special song wilH
rise loud and high, muh sistahs,,
and so uh-whilst yo do yo dutv
dess do it wid zeal and liberality.
Spar de spank and spile de child
erive it to de little varmints hot
and heavy, and de Lawtfwill bless
yo, and de rest of us will owe yo4
a vote o thanks. De choir will
now po' fo'th deir hozanners."

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