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Newspaper Page Text
THE FAMILY FRIEND
Written for The Day Book by
Berlon Braley. "
The, Family Friend is a nonde
script creature who just sort Tpf
hovers about. His fatherly air is
the principal feature by which
you can single' hip out He's full
of advice, which, he gives to you
gratis, no matter how ill ybu at-'
'tend. The greatest of fyores I
have found up to date is the Fath
erly Family TYiend!
He butts into all of the family
doings as if he were doctor and
nurse. Our fights and our frolics,
our billings and cooings; he
cheers us all up like a hearse!
He gets us poor jobs, or he often
times hires us, and drives tfs,nd
sweats us no end, and then, in a
Fatherly annert he fires US, the
Gentle Did Family "Friend)
He tells us the way to invest all
our savings in stocks which con
stantly fall, and leave us possessed
of some nice steel engravings,
with which we can paper the wall.
We never have known where the
family got him, but this can be
truthfully penned: We'd benefit
much if we quietly shot film
The Fatherly Family FriendT
"As I wa$ sitting in jTcrotyied
street car coming home tonight,"
said Parker, "a women entered
and stood almost exactly in frontf
"Aiid you got up and gave her J
your- seat? queried Parker s vfiio.
"No--another fellow forestall
ed me. But I had to wait fivcmin
HASS MU3e MY
PRAISE TO WHOM DUE
A millionaire of the Far West,
wiio had mae his "pile" in pros
peetiujfor silver, -wished to do
sametnirW for his native stater
and so he erected a fine theater
af T)invfr. Whpn it wa; nearl
finished he foundVman paintin
a portrait on the-Tpfcbscetfium.
fTTT1 ,4 . "iff
wnos tnatr ne inquirea
"Shakespeare? Ddh't knov.
! Who was he?"
'TT i7rnt nlavc ."
"What did he Id for Denver?"
"lathing; he could not have1
"Whatrhave you put him therii
for, then? Paint Ijim out and pot
in my face !a