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Newspaper Page Text
A HAPPY OUTLOOK
He made a great deal of money,
but was always in debt because of
his extravagance. Not long ago,
however, he wooed and won a
young woman of great wealth.
During the honeymoon the
bride ventured to ask hubby
whether the fact that she had
money made any difference to
"To be sure it does, my love,"
was the unexpected response.
Whereupon wifey was a bit
alarmed. "What difference?" she
"Why, darling," continued the
husband, "it is such a comfort to
know that if I should die you'd be
"And if I should die?" asked
"Then, darling," was the reply,
"I'd be provided for."
ALL THE DIFFERENCE
"Isn't it possible, my dear, to
keep those children quiet just for
one minute?" inquired the weary,
"Now, John, don't be harsh
with the poor little dears," re
plied his wife. "It is only natural
for them to be full of spirits."
The husband sighed.
"Quite right," he said. "Only I
know you want that check you
mentioned this morning, and I
couldn't possibly write it while
this noise "
."Children," interrupted his
wife, "go upstairs at once ; and if
I hear another sound tonight I
shall punish you all severely."
ADOLF WANTED JL'S
THE CALL OF DUTY
For a whole solid hour the cap
tain had been lecturing the men
on "The Duties of a Soldier," and
Jie thought that now the time had
come for him to test the results of
Casting his eyes around the
room, he fixed on Private Mur
phy as his first victim.
"Private Murphy," he asked
"why should a soldier be ready to
die for his country?"
The Irishman scratched his
head for a while, then an ingrati
ating and enlightening smile
flitted across his face.
"Sure, captain," he said pleas
antly, "you're quite right. Why