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Newspaper Page Text
"Evenin', Mistah Scarborough,
for why hab yo' got you' head
wrapped up in a pillow slip?"
"Ah had a little accident, Mis
tah Poindextah, while comin'
down town in a car. A man poked
mah eye out wif a umbrella."
"Dear me, what did he poke
yo' in de eye wif a umbrella for ?"
"Ah really don't know. He
could hab poked it out wif a fork
jest as easy."
"But Ah suppose he offered to
do the right thing by yo' for it?"
"Yaas, he offered, to use mah
handkerchief to wipe off de um
"But Ah mean, didn' he apolo
"Shuh he apologized he said
he wuz glad he didn't break a rib."
"Goodness! At least he gave
yo' his card."
"Yaas, Ah got his card. He's
"Yes, go on."
"And he said he hoped Ah
wouldn't have to wear glasses,
but if Ah did, he would give me a
pair at half price seein' Ah had
only one eye left."
"Oh well, Ah suppose he did all
he could be expected to do."
"Yaas. Ah didn't expec' him
to do half as much as he did do."
"It's a pity you' weren't cafry-
in' accident insurance at the
"But Ah wuz. Ah wuz carry
in' $40,000 worth."
"Hurray! Hab yo' got it here?"
"No, de man's got it Ah wuz
carryin' it to."
"The stage will now be set to
represent a casualty ward in an
emergency hospital, and the full
strength of the company will re
appear dressed as ambulance sur
geons to give a descriptive drill
entitled 'The Bonesetters Patrol,'
by a special arrangement with the
With Little Fuel.
To boil a ham without much
fuel place it in a boiler, cover with
cold water and allow it to boil one
hour. Then cover up all crevices
to keep in the steam and leave for
about twelve hours. The ham will
be thoroughly cooked, and if the
hour's boiling is done in the after
noon it will be ready for use next
Mr. Robinson Why do you
stop so often? Can't you keep up
with me? Fair Typist (rather
shaky in her orthography) Oh,
yes; but your language in so elo
quent that I frequently feel my