ill
I
ITT CARRIER
ONE ON HIM
The American in the first-class
carriage of an English train in
sisted" on smoking. An angry
Englishman protested, and when
bout to appeal to the guard the
mencan got ahead of him with
e remark:
iJL "Guard, I think you will find
that gentleman is travelmg on a
ird-class ticket.
It proved to be true, and the
sputtering Britisher was put out.
spectator of the incident asked
e American now ne knew tne
efeater had a third-class ticket.
"Well," explained the compos
Yankee, "it was sticking out of
his pocket, and I noticed that it
was the same color as mine."
SHE FIXED PAPA
"You know, dear," said the
young man nervously to the
pretty girl, "I'm really frightened
about speaking to your father."
"Is that all that's causing the
delay?" inquired the modern miss
dryly. "If that's so, just leave it
to me. I'll manage father."
Accordingly next morning she
approached pater-familias as he
potted plants to the accompani
ment of a choice Havana and car
pet slippers.
"Papa," she gurgled, with
feigned mirth, as she took his
arm, "what do you think? That
young fool Perkins has proposed
to me! Just fancy!" And the
lady doubled up in incoherent joy.
But papa shook himself free,
and turned with the fury of a
baited bull as he stormed:
"What! Refused young Per
kins that estimable young man?
Why, I'm ashamed of you! You
modern girls never know when
you're lucky! You'll make it up
with him at once at once, I say
and don't let me have any non
sense!" And papa never knew the rea
son for the peals of laughter that
issued from the drawing room
that same evening when Mr. Ed
win Perkins greeted the dainty
Clara.
SYMPATHETIC
Judge Now, I don't expect to
see you here again, Rufus.
Rufus Not see me here again,
Jedge? Why, yo' all ain't a-goin'
to resign yo' job, is yo', Jedge?