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Newspaper Page Text
the ones who are in an unpleas
ant frame of mind. And we can't
help fighting with our wives.
When we get on a New Haven
train we never know when we
will get home. Friend wife gets
sore trying to keep dinner warm.
If it's that way for us it must be
worse for the employes."
The Tribune says the "Moss"
Enright pardon petitions are be
ing circulated secretly by union
men. President John Fitzpatrick
of the Chicago Federation of
Labor says, "Pardon petitions
have been in plain view on top of
a desk in the outer office of the
Federation. Anybody could see
them. It was the Tribune circu
lation office that taught "Moss"
Enright to carry a gun. They
' trained him for the work he did
two years before his conviction.
To teach a man to kill and then
to want him punished for murder
what shall we call it?"
Two men were fined yesterday
for hitting a man for reading the
esteemed Trib. They ought to
have been. Reading the Trib is
punishment enough without be
ing slugged into the bargain.
We have inside information
that Chief McWeeny spent the
morning nailing down all the
movables in his office.
Anne Morgan ate a 25-cent
lunch "to show working girls that
anyone could enjoy a meal at that
Fine, Anne, but what in Lake
Michigan are you going to do if
you haven't got the necessary J
two bits? which the ordinary
working girl hasn't.
Willie Randolluf Hearst de
mands that "those rascals" in the
senate be punished. This ex
plains the reason for the old fable
about the pot and the kettle.
The Gould wedding was re
hearsed today. To make sure
that Helen wouldn't slip up and
say "I thee wjth all my worldly
goods endow"' to Finley instead
of t'other way around?
The American boldly states
that it is going to quit publishing
medical advertising editorials
promising to cure people of "slug
gish livers, slow-working bowels"
and a few other ills that won't
Thus does the busy American
avoid the laws the people are
soon going to pass prohibiting
the publication of such villainous
M. M. Mangasarian says the
training of a lawyer does not fit
him to be a judge. A successful
lawyer is a "high priest of tech
nicalities," says M. M., and
knows more about law than jus
tice. A man who stuttered badly
went to a specialist, and aften ten
different lessons learned to say
quite distinctly: "Peter Piper
picked a peck of pickled peppers."
His friends congratulated him on
his splendid achievement. "Yes,"
said the stutterer, doubtfully,
"but it's such a-a d-d-deuced
d-d-d-difficult r-re-remark t-t-to
w-w-work into a-an o-ordinary